Lexa was still undecided about the new developments in her life, particularly her life outside of her job. It had been a long time since she had anything close to what she had with Clarke (though they'd yet to define it, and Clarke always fled the room when things got too intense), or even what she was starting to develop with Raven. For a long while, her only interactions with Raven had been passing in the hallway and the one time she'd been particularly annoyed with the noise coming from the apartment next door and practically banged the door down to get Raven's attention.
The truth was, Lexa wasn't particularly acquainted with the concept of friends. Anya was probably the closest person she could consider a friend, and they really only interacted in the context of physical exercise. They understood one another, yes, but didn't feel the need to seek opportunities to 'hang out': they were both busy people.
Through her interest in Clarke, however, Lexa found herself suddenly rich in people constantly wanting to know about why she had a bad or good day, what her history was (she mostly dodged those questions), and what she did for work.
"I told you, Octavia. I run an international consulting firm." Octavia frowned, clearly not satisfied with the answer, before she opened her mouth to ask, probably yet again. She was thankfully interrupted, though, by Clarke returning from Raven's kitchen with snacks.
"Tell your girlfriend to stop bugging Lexa, Lincoln." Lincoln's dark skin flushed, but he didn't deny it. Clarke had told Lexa what had happened at Raven's PT appointment the week previously. Lexa didn't have all the context to who Lincoln was, other than he and Clarke served together, but she found that she enjoyed Lincoln's company more than anyone else not named Clarke at the current event (a Christmas Eve party hosted by Raven).
Lexa sipped her drink and turned her attention to Clarke. She'd noticed Raven keeping a particular eye on Clarke the whole party, and had picked up the habit, figuring that Raven's attentiveness was for a reason. Lexa had noticed a few times that both Clarke and Lincoln had tensed: once when the clumsy Jasper (who she had recognized vaguely from running into him in the building on the day she'd first met Clarke) knocked over the living room lamp (he was still terrified of her from their initial meeting, and his fear had been reinforced by her glare when he'd frightened Clarke), and once when the door banged open to announce Octavia's entrance (because Octavia seemed to have trouble doing anything quietly or with any sort of finesse). Currently, Clarke had her head tilted, peering at her in contemplation.
"Yes, Clarke?" A smile twitched into being.
"I really like how you say my name."
"I am unsure of what you mean, Clarke," Lexa said back, throwing a teasing tone into her response. Clarke leaned in to peck her quickly on the lips before drawing back as another knock sounded on the door. Lexa felt warmth bloom in her chest- stronger than anything she remembered. Reaching down, she threaded Clarke's hand with hers and gave a genuine smile.
"Mama G! You said you couldn't make it!" Lexa felt Clarke still beside her, and glanced sideways. The older woman in the doorway was brunette, with dark eyes and sharp features. She was slim, shifting from one side to another, her hands playing with a wine bottle. Raven had called out to her, and bound from her place in Wells' lap to pull the woman into a hug. While there was still holiday music in the background, the room chatter died as everyone looked to the new (late) addition to the festivities. Everyone, that is, except Clarke. Wells rose from his seat to follow Raven and Clarke still hadn't turned around.
"Clarke?" Lexa squeezed her hand, and Clarke let out a long breath. Raven was talking behind her, likely introducing the woman, but Lexa's sole focus was now on the blonde beside her, watching emotions cycle on her face before settling on something like resignation. Clarke squeezed her hand back (a good sign?) before turning to Lexa.
"My mother." Lexa nodded, having surmised this, but as Clarke rose to follow Wells, disentangling their hands, she felt the loss of heat and noted Clarke's suddenly perfect posture. Clarke stopped in front of her mother, Raven and Wells backing away (Raven looked half guilty and half pleased with herself) to give them space. The room was still quiet when Clarke reached out to take the bottle of wine.
"Happy Prior Day, mom." Lexa saw Mrs. Griffin blink with sudden emotion before gently drawing her daughter in. Clarke allowed a brief hug before breaking away to the kitchen with the bottle of wine.
"Abby, let me introduce you." This came from Wells, who led her to where all of Raven's seating (and some of Lexa's) was arranged in a circle around the television in preparation for a claymation marathon. When Wells introduced her, Lexa stood up respectfully (she heard one of the annoying people -probably Jasper- snicker before being cut off) and held out her hand.
"Lexa...as in...?" she asked, raising her eyebrow at Raven and Wells. Lexa blinked in some confusion before Raven jumped in.
"Yeah, as in my neighbor who Clarke was definitely not dating at Thanksgiving." Clarke had come up behind Lexa and audibly huffed behind her, but didn't speak before Lexa jumped in.
"It is very nice to meet you, Mrs. Griffin," She held out her hand. The woman took it, tilting her head to the side in a reflection of Clarke's mannerisms, and yes, they were related.
"It's nice to meet you, young lady. Please call me Abby- Raven's told me so much about you." Lexa detected a hint of sarcasm and frowned.
"Mom." Clarke's voice was ice, and Lexa was surprised to hear the bite. Abby drew back from Lexa quickly, turning to look at her daughter apologetically, before moving on to more people that Wells was introducing. Lexa felt elated that Clarke reached back for her hand, and drew them together to sit back down. Chatter was starting up again, and Abby was talking with Octavia and Raven about Raven's progress, so Lexa pressed a kiss to Clarke's temple.
"Prior Day?" she asked quietly. Clarke smiled sadly and turned to nuzzle into Lexa's shoulder before answering her question in a low murmur.
"My dad's family were hardcore agnostics. Like they referred to Christmas as the Day of Presents," Lexa snorted softly, and she felt Clarke smile against her arm. "Shush. Christmas Eve was Prior Day. Happy Prior Day, Lexa." Clarke drew back and Lexa locked eyes.
"Happy Prior Day, Clarke." Clarke leaned forward again and kissed her.
"So...definitely not dating, like I said," Raven's voice snapped them out of their moment and they turned to see everyone in the room looking at them. Lexa felt herself start to blush, and went to pull back, but Clarke held her in place long enough to bump their noses.
"Fuck you, Reyes."
"Language, Clarke." Abby's tone was more mocking thank serious, and Clarke just rolled her eyes in good humor. Lexa noticed Wells relaxing minutely at Clarke's response.
"I'd say anytime, Sarge, but I doubt Lexa would be up for a four-way with me and Wells." Clarke groaned and buried her head back into Lexa.
"Raven, my mom is right next to you."
"Clarke, I'm a doctor. I treat people every day that get into trouble by some very questionable activities."
"Wait," Jasper broke in, "Raven, you said Lexa would be the problem. Does that mean…" Monty clapped a hand over Jasper's mouth the same time Clarke threw a pillow in his direction.
"Jasper, I'd stop there," Raven said, but Lexa noted everyone was smiling (except Clarke, who was bright red). Jasper looked like he would say more, but Monty kept him silent.
The night proceeded from there. Someone started up the movies, but they were mostly for background noise as everyone (save Lincoln, who seemed riveted) devolved into conversations. Lexa found herself coaxed into a glass of wine by Clarke ("Seriously, my mom has fantastic taste in wine"), but refrained from the heavier drinking that was starting to take place, especially by Octavia, Raven, Jasper, and Monty (Clarke also didn't drink more than one glass of her mother's - admittedly delicious- wine). Around midnight, Abby excused herself ("my ride is here, Raven. You kids have fun, and thanks for inviting me." "Seriously, Mama G., you're the best!" "I'll see you again, Jasper; there's no need to cry.") and things only got wilder. Octavia's brother, Bellamy, showed up not much later and Lexa and Clarke enjoyed his grouchy face as he glared at Lincoln - obliviously still captivated by claymation.
Bellamy finally got fed up by Lincoln's lack of response and turned off the television, starting to interrogate Lincoln: about his family, his job, and his service. Lincoln seemed to be answering the questions calmly, but Lexa could feel Clarke start to tense beside her once more, so she tugged Clarke to her feet and started leading her out the door, waving a goodbye to Raven and Monty, who were talking about metal alloys (or at least, that's what Lexa thought they were talking about).
The moment Lexa's apartment door closed, Clarke let out a big sigh.
"Clarke?" Lexa felt the need to ask so many questions, but restrained herself. Clarke turned toward her with a small smile.
"Thank you for staying near me tonight." Lexa nodded as Clarke stepped toward her. Feeling slightly uncertain, she stepped backward and Clarke's smile turned slightly predatory. Her eyes darkened as she put her hands on either side of the door, backing Lexa into the solid wood by pressing their bodies flush. Lexa felt a flash of heat travel from her heart to the tips of every limb, before settling low in her abdomen. Clarke captured her lips before Lexa could respond, but she automatically wound her arms around Clarke, one hand slipping up to tangle in silky golden hair. The battled for dominance for a minute, tongue's crashing together and lips quickly becoming swollen before Clarke detached and turned away suddenly.
"I…" Clarke ran her hand through her hair, stepping further into the apartment. Lexa felt the need to follow her, reaching out before withdrawing as Clarke whirled suddenly back to face her. "I need to show you something." Lexa tilted her head, trying to calm her racing heart back to a steady rhythm: Clarke's voice was serious but also uncertain. Lexa simply nodded, and Clarke turned to head into the bedroom, turning the lights on and drawing the blinds. Lexa followed behind her, closing the door. Clarke started pacing, distressed face betraying troubled thoughts. Lexa stopped her gently with a hand to her elbow.
"You can talk to me, Clarke." She saw Clarke gulp, then take a deep breath before leading Lexa to sit on the bed. She stayed standing, running her hand once again through her hair before starting.
"My last deployment. My squad...we were...I was…" Clarke's eyes filled up, but she took a deep breath and continued. "I came back with scars." Clarke was fiddling with the hem of her sweater. Lexa held out her hand, Clarke coming to stand directly in front of her.
"Some scars are physical. Some are mental." Lexa looked directly into Clarke's eyes from her seated position, knowing that whatever happened next, the relationship she had with Clarke was dependent on staying calm and pledging her support. "Some are both." Lexa brushed her thumb over Clarke's knuckles. "I am here, Clarke." Clarke stepped back briefly, grasping the hem of her shirt and pulling it slowly, but deliberately, over her head. Normally Lexa would have been distracted by the black lace on Clarke's chest, but her eyes were drawn elsewhere immediately.
Clarke's skin was a knot of scar tissue- from criss-crossing delicate lines to large burns. Lexa felt immediate rage that humans could be so deplorable as to cause one another such pain. Her rage burned into compassion for Clarke's suffering, then into admiration. She leaned forward, aware that Clarke's eyes were studying her, and kissed the largest scar - a jagged and thick uneven line stretching from behind Clarke's back to her opposite hip.
"You are magnificent," Lexa said. Clarke bubbled out an incredulous laugh, but Lexa just repeated herself, kissing another scar - this one a small round burn. "Magnificent, Clarke. I am serious, that is what you are." She met Clarke's eyes again to see them water. "You can tell me about them, if you want. Now, or some other day, or never." Lexa swallowed, feeling the swell growing in her heart. "You are magnificent, and you make me feel so much." Lexa felt her eyes also start watering, but it was more to do with the sudden realization that she may actually love this woman in front of her. She turned away, overwhelmed, and felt the bed dip beside her, then a gentle hand at her chin.
"Hey." She met Clarke's blue eyes. "You're pretty magnificent, too, you know." Clarke pulled her into a hug and Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke, feeling with her hands the scars directly on Clarke's skin. They held each other tightly before breaking away with teary smiles. Lexa grabbed a couple tissues from her bedside table and offered one up. Clarke took it with a nod and a quiet thanks.
"Let's go to bed," Lexa suggested. Clarke hummed in agreement as Lexa grabbed two pairs of shorts and tee shirts and threw a set to Clarke. She ducked into her bathroom first, and when she emerged, Clarke was shifting her weight back and forth, tugging at the shorts. Lexa smiled, despite seeing a plethora of new scars exposed. "Hey." Clarke looked up and drew her hands back, crossing her arms across her chest. Lexa pulled her in for a deep kiss before drawing back. "You are a fantastic kisser, too." Clarke broke into a smile. "But you really need to brush your teeth. Mint and wine are not complementary tastes." Lexa got a sassy tongue sticking out at her as Clarke padded into the bathroom. She was making her bed up on the floor when Clarke emerged.
"We can try the bed together again, if you want."
"Only if you are comfortable, Clarke."
"Come on, weirdo. There's enough space." Lexa turned off the lights before joining Clarke under the covers, relaxing when Clarke immediately snuggled up to her, pressing a soft kiss against Lexa's neck. Lexa hummed, tilting her head back slightly as Clarke's kisses drew close to her jaw. Lexa felt a smile break onto her face, and ran her hand gently down Clarke's bare arm for the first time. Clarke stuttered to a stop, but Lexa ducked her head to kiss Clarke's lips quickly and drew her closer.
"You're wonderful, Lex. Thank you." Lexa smiled.
"You are magnificent, and I am wonderful. What a pair we make." Clarke weakly swatted her in the limited space, but Lexa was still smiling when they both fell asleep.
