15

"Owen… don't …" Jack's words died in his throat as the Clorsik exploded in a mess of pink globby jelly that hit the ceiling, walls and entire team standing over him and the creature he had so happily just poked with a scalpel. The SUV doors were open so … yeah. Happy New Year or whatever. POP.

"Well … how was I supposed to know that was going to happen" Owen groused as he shrugged and watched a large piece of …er… something slide down the side of Jack's face.

"Because I told you it would when we went to scoop it into the fucking body bag?" Jack snarled.

Ianto looked at the mess and sighed, surprised when Owen said he would help him. This made the others feel like they had to as well and they had most of it contained in buckets in no time. The SUV was toast … another one. Gods … Ianto would have to 'tickle' the budget for this. Ianto looked up with a sigh "That will have to dry. Then I can hit it down with a bouncy ball. Really, had this been in the autopsy bay it would have been so much easier to hose down. Why you had to do this in the vehicle bay while we were unloading it is beyond me."

"I just wanted to see" Owen grizzled, slumped shoulders and decided pout as Jack awed and patted his shoulder, then grimaced as it came away sticky.

"Right. Showers" Jack demanded, everyone stopping at the bottom of the stairs to remove their shoes, Ianto's glare not needing words to convey this need. They were soon in the shower block in various stages of undress when Owen flicked Ianto's jacket into the air.

"Nine points if it's clear in the basket" he roared, instead of hitting the basket it instead slapped around Jack's head and Ianto froze as he finally saw Owen's madness. Little bastard!

Jack pulled the jacket back and looked at Owen with open anger "You know… I might shoot a man for that!"

"Good thing ya like me then" Owen grinned "Fancy duds, eh?"

Ianto took a step towards the Captain who was now looking at the jacket and grunting as he turned it over, looking straight at the label on the collar.

"Kingsmen. Really? You shop there?" Jack asked, surprise evident "You know … it took me hours to find it the other day, you know where they are?"

"Shop there all the time. Did my school job there …. How else do I know the clothing sizes for everyone on sight?" Ianto tried for innocent, blinking as he tried not to try to set Owen in fire with mind control.

"Lovely place" Jack sighed wistfully "Where you got the idea for the bead curtain?"

"I like beads" Ianto said, Owen sniggering as he looked furtively between the two men and Ianto scowled at him as Jack turned to look as well.

"I am surprised Owen. You like beads too? Mind you, you are such a little shit you are probably thinking anal beads or something." Jack snorted, dropping the jacket into the basket and turning back to Ianto as Owen's face dropped to one of horror.

"Tell me Ianto, how much does one of those set you back?"

"You would know sir … don't you shop there too?"

"Well … maybe once a decade or so … huh. I forgot, you do my laundry …. Of course you know I have suits from there. Mind … I do not wear them half as well as you do." Jack leered as Ianto calmly stepped out of his boxers to stand naked as a jay bird, Jack's leer draining away as the perfectly formed body moved towards the water.

Toshiko stepped to one side and offered Ianto her shampoo and he smiled softly as he accepted it, sharing the cubicle with her.

"You know … you could share with me" Jack said in a small voice, Owen still looking back at the jacket with open annoyance now, his plan not working at all. Typical. Flash a dick at him … all be it a fucking big dick … and he totally disregarded the huge clue.

As Owen stood angrily glaring at the basket he became aware of something else he had not thought through as he looked over to find Ianto standing under the water, stock still staring at him as Toshiko reached up to rinse his hair for him, her breasts rubbing against his arm as she spoke softly in Japanese and Ianto blinked like a bloody viper or something.

Shit.

Payback was gonna be a bitch for that.

Damn it.