I tentatively rapped on Coulson's door chewing on my thumbnail while I waited for a response. I'd only sent him a text a few minutes ago, which he assured me he'd meet me here. Whether he was actually in his office yet was a good question. It was only 0645. Most of the Triskelion was only just starting to stir to life at this time of morning.

"Come in."

I tentatively opened the door and walked in, closing it with a quiet click behind me.

"Whats up?" Coulson asked. He was sitting behind his desk, coffee cup and bagel both in front of him. His laptop was open and unlike me he was dressed for the day. I was still dressed in my very sweaty workout clothes. This morning had been brutal. But I felt I'd at least made some kind of progress. I managed to land a sharp jab in Clint's ribs. It was hard enough for him to wince. I was so surprised I'd actually done it I stood there gaping for a second. It was all he needed to grab me and throw me down on the ground. Natasha stood on the sidelines laughing her ass off at me as I lay on my back winded.

"I, ah," I stuttered not quite knowing how to put this into words. I stared back at my fingernails picking at them absently. It was my nervous habit. I either picked at my fingernails or chewed on them.

Coulson said nothing. He just sat there waiting patiently for me to speak.

"I got my roster emailed to me this morning," I murmured feeling really stupid for what I was about to say. "I've got a few things coming up where I'm doing flights by myself."

"Is that a problem?" Coulson asked gently. There was no judgement or surprise in his tone. "From what I saw last night you're more than competent to fly solo."

"No, it's not that." I was really struggling to put this into words. Even in my own head it sounded ridiculous.

I'd never just been given a work roster and told to show up and do the flight by yourself. Especially with my roster had been vague on the actual details. Essentially I would be given whatever was happening on the day. All my life I'd followed orders and I always had someone with me. I'd never done anything by myself and all of a sudden I felt like a security blanket had been yanked from underneath me. Especially with everything in SHIELD still being so new. I was hoping to at least be stuck with the daily grind with Natasha and Clint for a bit longer yet. Despite being a team, we were all rostered on for different things as it came up. My roster had been all over the place compared to both of them. SHIELD seemed to want to cram as much flying time into me as possible.

"I've never done this kind of stuff by myself before," I said in a small voice feeling very insecure. "I've always been with the squadron following what everyone else does. I've never really worked on my own before."

"Sit," Coulson said kindly. "Is that the only problem?"

I nodded, pulling the chair out and sitting across from Coulson.

"I keep forgetting that you're so young still," Coulson mused. "Have you never had a job outside of the Air Force?"

"No, this and the Air Force have been the only thing I've ever done," I said. "Well, besides working on the ranch, but that's family so it doesn't really count."

It really didn't. I only went out there while I was waiting for the Air Force because I got sick of being in New York. With my parents always working and Jared at the Academy, it'd been a new type of loneliness I'd never thought I'd experience. Being out on the ranch in Nebraska I didn't really do any work. I think the hardest thing I'd done out there was fix a few fences and pull apart an old tractor to see if I could make it work again. I was a bit smug in the fact that my fences were still up, and that old John Deere was still going.

"The Air Force was all about doing as you were told. We had set working hours and all that type of thing but it was never just, oh here you go here's your plane, have fun," I kept going. "With that and basically having my day planned down to the exact minute in my training month of SHIELD. I feel a bit lost all of a sudden."

"That's normal," Coulson assured me. "I'm actually glad to hear you unsure of something, to be honest."

I looked at Coulson blankly. Before I could ask what he meant he continued speaking.

"You've done an expectational job over the last month." Coulson gave me a small smile. "From every report, I've had you've not only coped but excelled at every challenge presented to you. Agent McNaught's report of you was nothing short of glowing."

I went back to picking my fingers feeling embarrassed. I still felt like I hadn't done anything to distinguish myself over the last month. I'd only done what I needed to do to cope with my new life.

"Seeing these reports made me happy, but also a bit wary," Coulson continued. "I was hoping that this was your way of coping, not just letting stress pile onto you and then you have a brain snap."

"No brain snap." I half smiled. "I'm too tired to have a brain snap, to be honest. And sore. I've never taken so much aspirin in my life."

"Yeah, it won't get much better from here," Coulson said with a small laugh. "Sorry to disappoint you on that. Have you spoken to anyone else about this yet?"

"No, I haven't been home to talk to Jared…" I started to trail off with the implication of my words. Sitting here in front of Coulson I felt like a teenager with my first boyfriend all over again.

We had all gone to dinner last night, minus Clint's kids. I was exhausted by 2100 and Riley had taken me back to his place. We'd both passed out in bed nearly right away. When I'd woken up early this morning Riley was still fast asleep. So I had a quick shower and slipped out while he was still sleeping. He didn't have to come in until 0800 this morning and I didn't have the heart to wake him. Even for a good morning kiss.

"Which reminds me."" Coulson reached over and grabbed a few sheets of paper from the printer. "You can sign this now. I'll send it over to Evans, for Riley to sign as well."

"All right," I said tentatively taking the paper like it was going to bite me.

"Don't look so nervous," Coulson reassured me, yet again. There was a lot of reassuring me these days. "This part is all straightforward for you guys. It's not like you'll work closely together all the time. It's more of a formality than anything else in your situation. Though quick word of caution. This goes back to your Mom in HR. You might want to let her know before she sees it."

"I will." I tried not to wrinkle my nose in disgust. I'd been so busy and tired I'd barely had time to send her off more than the very occasional text message.. She knew I'd been assigned to Natasha and Clint, but beyond that, I'd barely spoken of anything else to her. I hadn't spoken to Dad in about three weeks. He was neck deep in something new at work and not even Mom could drag him away.

"To your problem, I can't give you someone to take forever but this solves another issue I've been having." Coulson looked thoughtful. "Barton has been wanting to learn to fly for ages. The problem has been finding someone who will deal with his shit and not be intimidated by who is he. He can tag along with you for a bit until you feel a bit more settled. In return, you can show him how to fly properly."

I felt immediate relief at those few words. I was very glad I'd come to Coulson no matter how silly I'd felt. He hadn't judged me at all. Even if I did feel like I was coming in here to ask him to have someone hold my hand for a little longer.

"Thank you, Sir," I said softly with a small smile.

"You're welcome." Coulson smiled back. "Please don't ever feel like you can't come and talk to me. Even if you think its minor or silly, I'd rather know about it before it becomes a big issue. I can even handle tears if you bring me a coffee or doughnuts."

I laughed quietly at Coulson's last statement. I doubted very much he had to deal with tears very often. I hoped I wasn't going to be the one that changed all of that.

"What did you guys have planned for the rest of the day?" Coulson asked.

"I have no idea, to be honest." I really didn't. Like so much in my life, there'd been a few vague suggestions on what was happening today. "Hawk said something along the lines of playing Halo in the rec room while eating Cheezels. I'm not actually sure if he's being serious or not."

"Yeah, that's his general after mission wind down." Coulson looked a little pained. "He does it at work so he doesn't get disturbed by the kids."

"He doesn't get disturbed by the kids or Laura doesn't have to put up with her biggest kid?" I asked jokingly. The more time I spent with Clint's wife the more I was really beginning to like her. Last night at dinner she insisted that I had to come around during the week for dinner and a girl catch up. The sly look she shot at Riley made me realise she wanted to hear all the gossip.

"It's a bit of both," Coulson laughed at my statement. "Enjoy the quiet day. Go home if you really want. Your roster doesn't start until Thursday. Do you want to sign that first?"

I'd nearly forgotten about the paperwork sitting in front of me now. I quickly skimmed over it before signing on the line with my name printed underneath. It wasn't anything too terrifying. As Coulson had said it was more of a formality for us. I did make note of the part that said relationships between partners, or within official teams were strictly forbidden.

"Done." I handed it back to Coulson with my own smile. Talk about making things very official. Now even SHIELD knew about our relationship.

"Thank you." Coulson placed it to one side. "I'm guessing having a boyfriend means you've settled in pretty well?"

There was a definite teasing tone behind his words. The small smile I had now grown a little more despite the tease.

"He was a bit hard to resist," I admitted shyly. "He kept Jared in line when he decided to give me bullshit answers. It was nice to have someone else to talk to besides Jared."

"Why am I not surprised that Jared was feeding you bullshit?" Coulson mused with a shake of his head. "If Barton tells you something that sounds stupid. Double check it with Natasha. She'll make sure he isn't doing the same thing."

"And if he is I'll punch him, I managed to land one this morning," I said proudly. "He knocked me straight down on my ass afterwards but I got one hit in."

"Now just think what you'll be able to do after six months." Coulson looked as proud as I felt. "Go and enjoy your last bit of freedom. I'm up to my neck in paperwork at the moment."

I didn't need to be told twice. I had a feeling if I lingered too much longer I'd get stuck doing paperwork for Coulson. As I was leaving I sent a text to both Natasha and Clint asking them what the plan for the rest of the day was.

Clint was the first to reply. As usual. I don't know how or where he learnt to type so quickly.

STRIKE Rec Room, come play X-Box with me.

I shook my head at the reply. The more I got to know him, it was pretty clear Clint still acted like a teenager most of the time. Though he was deadly serious in training and missions, outside of that he acted more his shoe size than his real age of 29. I did as he requested though. A few minutes later I walked into the rec room.

It was pretty impressive. There was a massive flatscreen TV on both ends of the room. It was large enough so unless you had the volume up full bore you could comfortably watch both TV's. On each TV had a few different game consoles, a DVD player and a DVD collection that even rivalled Jared's. Massive overstuffed couches along with a few beanbag chairs. Off to the side was a small kitchen, complete with a few different coffee makers. It was the first time I'd actually really come in here and looked around properly.

Clint was standing in the kitchen using a blender. He turned around when I walked in, spoon in his mouth with a guilty expression on his face.

"I thought you were Natasha for a second." Clint pulled the spoon out of his mouth with a cheeky grin. "And I was about to get busted for stealing her peanut butter."

"I promise I won't dob on you. What are you making?" I asked walking over. Whatever he had in the blender looked like brown sludge.

"Protein shake." Clint took the jug off the blender and poured it into a cup. "Want some?"

"It looks like sludge." I wrinkled my nose at the offered beverage. I'd noticed Riley drank something that looked very similar after he'd been at the gym. I don't think I could bring myself to drink something that looked like mud.

"It tastes good." Clint shook the cup in front of my face."Go on try it."

I reluctantly took the cup and eyes the contents warily. I took a tiny sip, ready to spit it out in case it tasted terrible. It didn't taste terrible at all. I took another drink, a bigger one this time savouring the taste. I don't know how Clint had done it but it tasted just like Reece's Pieces. And Reece's Pieces were my favourite chocolate of all time.

"Yum." I took another drink. It was amazing. I could live off this. "I thought protein drinks always tasted disgusting."

"They do unless you get the good stuff and fill it with peanut butter," Clint chuckled. "I'm guessing you like it?"

"Hell yes, I like it."

"It's all yours then," Clint turned back to the bench. "I'll make another one."

"You are so well trained," I laughed taking another sip of my drink. I didn't grab breakfast before I came in. So my body was very happy with something substantial in it.

"No, I just have manners," Clint bopped me on the nose playfully as he went to get something out of the fridge. "If I show you how to make one you won't die of starvation or live off takeaway."

"I can make eggs." I flicked in the arm. "And pancakes if I get those shake ones where all you do is add water. If I get really desperate I can fry bacon as well."

"You and Natasha are so utterly undomesticated it's not even funny," Clint laughed, coming out of the fridge with a spoonful of peanut butter and a carton of milk. "Remind me to get you a key for my place. If you want real food both Laura and I do huge batches of meals and throw them in the freezer. Help yourself to whatever is in there."

"I feel like I'm intruding if I do that," I wrinkled my nose at him to hide my discomfort. "I can't imagine just walking into your place unannounced. It's rude."

"Please," Clint snorted as he started to throw everything in the blender. I made note of what he was doing. "Natasha does it. Jared does it so by extension you have to do it otherwise you're letting the team down. It'd be rude not to."

"Jared isn't part of our team," I took another sip of the peanut butter heaven in a cup to hide how uncomfortable I was feeling right now. "He doesn't count."

"Yeah, but you are, we're all family so start coming over unannounced," Clint pointed out, not taking no for an answer. "Have you never had a friend whose place you just walk into when you feel like it?"

"No." I felt embarrassed for the second time today. "I've never had anyone like that. Well, besides Jared but he's my brother I'm allowed to do that. But it's not like he cooks. I was a bit of an outcast in school and the Air Force."

"So are we." Clint licked the excess peanut butter off the spoon. "So us outcasts stick together. If you haven't noticed most people are either terrified of us or in awe of our reputations."

"I did notice Natasha can clear a room with that cold glare of hers," I said looking down at my cup and swirling the contents of it around. "It's a bit of a facade, well so I've learnt. You've both been nothing short of awesome to me. Sorry, I'm feeling a bit insecure this morning. It's weird."

"What's up?" Clint turned to face me, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. "Everything all right after last night?"

"Oh it's nothing bad," I didn't look up from the cup. "I got my roster this morning and felt like I was getting my security blanket yanked out from underneath me a bit. I went and spoke to Coulson about it though."

"Want me to hold your hand for a bit longer?" Clint teased me gently.

"I need someone to hold my hand a bit longer," I admitted feeling like a complete idiot. "I felt so stupid going into Coulson's office and telling him about it. I've never had a job outside of the Air Force so thing whole here's your plane, have fun, thing they've given me for my roster has freaked me out a bit."

"Don't feel stupid," Clint turned back to making his drink. "Just remember, most people get two years at the Academy before they do anything. You're allowed to feel a bit insecure about everything for as long as you need to still. It's perfectly normal to be feeling that way."

"Natasha didn't go to the Academy" I pointed out.

"Natasha was trained in the Red Room since she was six, she's a big exception to the rule," Clint flicked the blender on briefly. The noise was too much to talk over. But it was done in a few seconds and Clint took a sip straight from the jug. He turned back around, jumping up onto the counter with his feet kicking against the cupboard boards. It was only then I noticed he was barefoot and had pulled a pair of old sweatpants over his usual compression pants. He seemed to have a thing about not wearing shirts with sleeves. His current shirt looked like they'd been ripped off. He looked so casual for being at work.

"Your entire life got pulled from underneath you," Clint said firmly. "Everything you'd worked for years to get, gone in those few minutes those idiots decided to try and drug you. Since then you dragged yourself back to your feet, stepped up to the challenge and done a marvellous fucking job in doing your first mission all within six weeks of SHIELD not giving you a choice what to do with your life."

"I did get a choice." I crossed my arms over my chest feeling very insecure about having this conversation with Clint. "It was do this, or be watched for the rest of my life which I assumed I would be sitting in the Fridge or Sandbox."

"Mine was SHIELD or jail, pretty much the same thing you were offered," Clint pointed out. I hadn't thought of it that way. Out of all the people, Clint and Natasha were the ones who knew exactly what I was going through right now. "Natasha's was SHIELD or die. Believe me when I say it that we know exactly how you're feeling right now. All of this is overwhelming and crazy, even in normal circumstances. Don't be embarrassed about asking for help. It's better to ask for help when you need it than something become a huge issue. So you need to sit the fuck down, eat junk food with me and play Halo for a few hours. Then I expect you over at my place at least three times this week raiding the freezer. And Thursday is pizza night. You will be there and I don't care what time is it. What's your favourite?"

"Meat lovers," I said in a small voice knowing there was no argument here. "Where's Nat?"

"Gone home, probably reading, she always does that after a mission," Clint said. "So, do we agree on what I just said? Because otherwise, I have no problems in dragging you there kicking and screaming. Or I'll just break into your apartment and start stocking your freezer."

So this is what having real friends was like? As bossy as Clint was being I couldn't help but feel very grateful to him. I hoped he was going to enjoy the flying lessons in return for everything he was doing for me.

"Can I bring Riley with me for pizza night?" I asked, still feeling unsure of everything.

"I will even let you have the spare room as long as you two don't have loud sex." Clint grinned in obvious glee. "See that wasn't so hard was it? You can talk to me about anything. I'm seriously the least judgemental person in the world. I'm even well trained enough to go and buy tampons without making a fuss."

The last part of Clint's sentence made me burst out laughing. He looked so damn proud of himself for getting me to agree to everything. It was nice to feel like someone besides Jared cared enough to look out for me.

"Thanks." It was such a simple word. It felt rather insignificant to what Clint had just given me.

"Don't mention it." Clint jumped down from the counter. "So ready to be amazed by my epic playing Halo skills?"

"As long as you don't cry at my terrible Halo playing skills."

"How bad can you be?"

Clint learnt very, very quickly how bad I really was. I spent most of my time pushing random buttons and laughing than actually being of any help in the game. I was hopeless at most games. The only thing I could ever kick ass in was Mortal Kombat when I was younger. I hadn't played it in years and all I used to do was hit random buttons to make things happen. I think Mom threw it out after Jared and I had a screaming match, followed by nearly destroying the living room after one game.

"How are you so bad at this?" Clint asked laughing as I died yet again. I'd only just spawned a few seconds ago and run straight into fire. I think it might have even been Clint shooting me the way he was laughing.

"I have coordination issues," I laughed with him randomly mashing buttons making my character spin around in circles firing. "That and I've never bothered to actually learn to play properly. It's a bit beyond me."

"Beyond you?" Clint laughed again. "Yeah right, I'm pretty sure your brain ticks over the same as mine doing crazy calculations when you shoot. I won't even begin to think of what goes through your head when you fly."

"Lots of stuff, but yes sometimes some crazy ass calculations going off in my head," I admitted. "Good thing I liked math and physics in school."

"You liked everything in school judging by your scores," Clint teased me. "Oh except for music wasn't it?"

"Yep." I didn't have a chance to say anything else. My phone started ringing with my Mom's ringtone. I groaned pulling it from my pocket. Oh fuck. I had completely forgotten to give her a heads up about the whole relationship thing with Riley.

"Uh oh." I stared at the screen in mild horror. "I'm in trouble. Any chance you want to answer that?"

"Sure, I love to see if I can lie to your Mom it's so much fun." Clint grinned as he took the phone from me answering it promptly while putting it on speaker. "Kari's phone, Agent Barton speaking."

"Hello Agent Barton speaking," Mom said dryly. "Why do you have Kari's phone?"

My Mom's tone surprised me. There was a definite joking tone behind her and she spoke as she knew Clint very well. It wouldn't surprise me if she did. Clint had been in SHIELD for a long time.

"She has gone to the toilet." Clint winked at me. "I'm sitting here trying to teach her to play Halo. I think the toilet excuse was just to get out of it."

"Good luck with that. I banned any kind of game console from the house when Jared decided he'd rather burn the lounge room down than to lose to Kari," Mom laughed. "So, can you help me with something?"

"I can help you with anything you'd like Linda." Clint was so smooth. He didn't miss a beat. Even I found him to be a little bit charming right now. "Except for the obvious. I am a married man you know."

"And still a terrible flirt," Mom laughed again. "Do you know Riley Hunterton? Apparently, my daughter has found time in the last few weeks to acquire a boyfriend and not told her own mother about it. Should I be concerned? You STRIKE boys don't have the best reputations."

"Nothing to be concerned about at all," Clint said soothingly. Gone was the joking tone and he was being serious now. "He's a marksman in Bravo squad. Quiet and a bit shy, but nice enough that even I took him home with me the other night."

There was a long pause on the end of the phone. Clint looked like he suddenly regretted what he just said.

"Do I even want to know?" Mom asked.

"It was all Natasha's fault," Clint said instantly. She wasn't here to defend herself so she was going to get all the blame. "She got Kari smashed off tequila, Riley was with her and yeah we all ended in my the spare room at my place. Jared as well. Laura took a picture of all of us passed out on the bed. It was cute you should be proud."

"You know Kari is the better behaved out of my two children," Mom said, not sounding very impressed with the story. "She's usually the quiet and reserved one. Why do I get the feeling by the time you're done with her Jared will be the well behaved one?"

"I don't think Jared even knows the meaning of the words well behaved," Clint joked trying to lighten the mood. "He'll always be the wild one."

"How is Kari really settling in?" Mom's tone turned serious as she let out a small sigh. "I can barely get two words out of her about work. Actually, I can barely get two words out of her most days."

"She's fine Linda." Clint shot me a puzzled look. He was back to serious again. "She really is. She's done an exceptional job these last few weeks. She even managed to punch me this morning. Got me right in the fucking ribs."

I had to stifle my giggle at the proud look Clint had on his face at the mention of that. At my muted giggle Clint gave me a quick wink.

"Language," Mom scolded Clint. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be asking you but this is my baby girl. I can't say I was thrilled with Fury's decision to make her part of your team. No offence to you or Natasha."

"None taken. If it was me in your shoes I'd be feeling the exact same way." Clint was doing a good job of soothing my poor Mom's frazzled nerves. "I promise you I won't lead her astray. Well, not too much anyway."

"That's as much reassurance as I'm going to get from you," Mom said with a small laugh. Even I could tell she was feeling a little better about the situation. "Can you get her to call me when she gets back, please? Actually, cancel that, I'll just call her later otherwise I'll never hear from her."

"I will still let her know you rang," Clint promised. "She's in good hands, Linda. I promise you that. Bye."

"Bye Barton."

Clint hung up and we both seemed to hold our breaths until the call was definitely ended. I broke into a nervous giggle

"I owe you one. Thank you." I said once the giggles died down. "Phew, that was close. At least now I've got time to think of a suitable lie to her about why I didn't tell her."

"Do you not get along with your parents?" Clint asked handing me back my phone.

"I get along with them fine." I pursed my lips trying to think of how to explain this to Clint. It was hard to explain. I loved my parents and knew they'd do anything for me. I'd just never been super close with my Mom, through no one's fault. "I just don't feel the need to let them know every tiny detail in my life. They worked a lot when we were kids so Jared and I were independent from a pretty young age. We day boarded at school anyway, so we only saw them on the weekends. When I went to high school I didn't really see them much either even though I was living at home. Dad would come home at all hours of the night and Mom was always late home four out of five nights."

"Didn't you go to some fancy high school?" Clint asked. "I think I remembered reading something in your file."

"I went to Trinity," I said feeling mildly uncomfortable about that. At the time of applying it seemed like a good idea. Now, most people thought I only went there because I had rich parents. "Most expensive school in the US and somehow I managed to get accepted. They must have thought I was smart or something. Thank god for nearly full scholarships otherwise, I would never have been able to go. Mom wasn't even happy about putting on my application let alone me getting in there."

"I didn't finish grade school so you've got one up on me there," Clint admitted. "Coulson made me get my GED before I could go to the Academy. But seriously why did you decide to go to a normal high school, as you keep putting it?"

"Because I always wanted to join the Air Force." I struggled to put this into words. "As soon as they would have seen my schooling if I stayed with Jared there wouldn't have been a lot more questions asked than there was. I figured it was easier that way. Mom wanted me to join SHIELD as a pilot and forget about the Air Force. Dad wanted me to use my brain and work with him. At least Mom kind of got her way."

"Well, you ended up as STRIKE, not a pilot so she technically really hasn't. You rebellious child. I thought you were meant to be the well behaved one." Clint pointed out with a smart grin. "You know your Dad designs my bows and hearing aids as well."

"Bows I thought he might, your hearing aids I had no clue about." Then it clicked over in my head why Dad had been neck deep in a new project the last few weeks. "Oh, you're the reason why Dad has barely surfaced from his workshop for the last few weeks with your new bow. Why do you need one with such a huge draw weight anyway?"

"Because I want to be able to put a scope on it and use it like a sniper rifle," Clint explained his face lighting up with obvious glee talking about his new bow. "I figured if we use a bigger draw weight than I'll be able to shoot further. The problem is just getting material strong enough to withstand the pressure that the bow gets put under for a higher draw weight. The last thing I need is for it to get stress fractures and explode in my hands while I'm doing a shot."

"If anyone can figure it out, it's my Dad," I said feeling proud. Dad came up with some amazing things over the years. Although his speciality was weapons, he could make just about anything he put his mind to. The fact he'd done Clint's hearing aids didn't surprise me at all. Those things would have every function under the sun. I doubted anything short of an EMP would break them.

"He is pretty smart. I can see where you got your brains from." Clint picked up his controller again. "Ready for another round?"

"Sure, I'll amuse you for the next 20 seconds," I tried not to groan as I picked mine up as well.

Authors Note

Are people happy with these long chapters? I feel like anything under 5000 words is too short. But I like to fit in as much as possible with my chapter. Especially when I know updates might be a bit few and far between over the next few weeks.

Please read and enjoy! Reviews are more than welcome.

Edited 6th June 2018