AN: Thanks again for following along with this silly fun!
Anne: Thank you!
Smithback: I am glad you like Lee! I am enjoying writing him and getting very fond of him as well.
Fast Frank: Thanks for catching that. I've added Lee to the featured characters list.
RebeccaRoy: Agreed! One cannot set up a contest with that crowd and not crown a winner... who knows what would happen!
In the end, Fred was right; getting Hermione special dispensation to take more advanced classes and producing "beautifully organized study plans" (Hermione's words; the twins had mimed vomiting upon hearing this) had boosted Lee to the top, by a single point. More importantly for her proud brothers, she'd "announced" this by spiking his morning pumpkin juice with a potion that caused his hair to look just exactly like Hermione's and caused him to tack on the phrase "but not as amazing as my fantastic little sister Hermione" any time he mentioned a name other than Hermione's. It took him three days to remove the spell, although only about 20 minutes to realize he could say all sorts of embarrassing things about other people which made the added phrase mortifying for the Junior Prankster. "Fred is the most amazing farter at Hogwarts; his toots are just so smelly and rank… but not as amazing as my fantastic little sister Hermione," he'd tested experimentally. She had threatened to revoke the matching "big brother" / "little sister" sweatshirts she'd gotten them though, which reigned in his comments. A bit.
Fred and George had conceded gracefully, or as gracefully as they were capable of, which meant they spent a full day looking at her mournfully and gasping in shock when she "deigned to speak with us unworthy brothers." And transfigured their own versions of the sibling sweatshirts to say "unwanted brother 1" and "unwanted brother 2" and wore them whenever Lee and Hermione wore theirs.
Coincidentally, Lee's winning garnered Professor Snape a tidy sum as the sole bettor on Mr. Jordan, which caused Lee to spend several days figuring out how to sabotage his own potion in such a spectacular, unforgettable way that any inadvertent favorable impression the slimy git might have had of him was erased. The creation of said explosion-of-unremoveable-glitter-from-what-was-supposed-to-be-a-burn-salve happily occupied all three senior and one junior prankster for the better part of a week (and then the better part of two weeks in detention after its execution).
And so, other than the fact that Hermione now spent much of her time studying for an exam rather than learning miscellaneous new spells from the third year curriculum and had a new favorite jumper, things returned more or less to normal. Classes continued calmly until students realized exams were near and then the library because a madhouse of frantic studying and the infirmary was filled with botched attempts at memory-enhancing charms. In the end, the most interesting thing that happened (other than Quidditch restarting, finally!) was that Professor Quirrel was quietly transferred to St. Mungos in a profound, unbreakable trance after being found in front of a cursed mirror deep within the bowels of the school, where he'd evidently been for almost four days before Dumbledore had stumbled upon him. Given that defense professors never lasted more than a year, even this didn't come as too much of a surprise.
** JP ** JP ** JP **
A shiny blue car pulled up in front of the Burrow a week after term had ended, and a small frizzy-haired bullet sped out of it to the chagrin of her parents who marched at a much more sedate pace behind her to knock on the slightly askew door. When it opened fully, the Drs. Granger found their daughter already embracing two red-headed twins (Fred and George, they surmised) and the boy with dreadlocks (Lee, her new best big brother, evidently) and trying to hand them the Muggle presents she'd obtained for them.
"They're Muggle pranks and just other things we use that wizards don't," she was explaining, "that I thought might be useful for -"
"For academic research and our own self-improvement?" George interrupted loudly.
"Golly, Hermione, what thoughtful gifts that will surely keep us out of trouble!" Lee added in an equally loud, stilted voice.
The four of them looked nervously at the six adults and rushed out of the room, followed by the quiet laughter from their parents.
** JP ** JP ** JP **
On August 1st, the same crowd was crammed into Hermione's kitchen-minus the witch and her mother, who were at the library down the street.
The kitchen itself was festooned with streamers, glittery signs shaped like books and potions bottles, and-a rarer treat-mounds of sugary treats.
"Do you think she'll be surprised?" George asked.
"If the letters she's been sending us that say 'Upon further consideration, I am completely sure I messed up Question 6 which surely brings my score below passing' are any indication, yes, she'll be absolutely shocked," Fred riposted.
"Your Hermione voice needs some work, mate. There wasn't nearly enough panic in that!" Lee critiqued, smiling. The loud guffaw from Hermione's father made him grin wider.
"I do have to thank you, Arthur, for obtaining the results in person for us so we could do this surprise celebration for Hermione. Both Anne and I are so proud of our daughter-both for her academic accomplishments in a world we knew nothing about until last year and for her excellent choice in friends!" The Granger patriarch raised his mug of coffee to Mr. Weasley who was briefly torn away from his inspection of the kitchen appliances to return the gesture.
"Forge, Gred! Did you hear that? We're 'excellent choices' in friends! I think we'll need to get a picture of this moment, have it signed… send copies to all our professors." Lee wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "Never thought I'd see the day!"
Molly Weasley half-hearted swatted at the air in front of her twins as if the motion could prevent any of this information from reaching their ears. Further discussion was halted by the sound of voices coming down the front walk.
"Quick, hide!" Lee squeaked.
Moments later, the door creaked open and Hermione's voice ("And I can't believe I managed to snag the newest Brian Jacques book! I really thought that Tommy from primary school was going to reach it first!") wafted into the kitchen-now conspicuously devoid of any party-goers.
Hermione and her mother stepped into the kitchen and Anne flipped the light-switch-the pre-agreed upon signal-at which point the eight hidden figures jumped out and yelled "congratulations!" to a wide-eyed Hermione.
"Congratulations for-oh my gooodness, is it my exams?!" Hermione cried.
"Miss Hermione Granger received perfect marks-the first ever, I was informed-on her advanced placement test," Arthur Weasley solemnly informed her as he handed her the scroll with the official results. Right on cue, the streamers emitted a cloud of glitter over everyone!
"I can't believe it!" Hermione squealed. "I was so sure-"
"I'd completely botched Question 6," Lee and the twins chorused with her.
She glared at them before happily returning her gaze to her results scroll.
"Honey, you can re-read your scroll after everyone has left. Don't you want cake?" her mother nudged.
"Oh, yes!"
She quickly ran over to her big brothers and was soon smothered with attention from the mischievous trio.
After the group dove into the cake-a marvelous chocolate creation that all the adults assured Mrs. Weasley would be a major hit if she ever opened a bake shop-Mr. Granger cleared his throat.
"One last surprise for everyone. We have some tents set up in the yard-" he paused as the four youngsters ran into the back room to look out the window for confirmation. "-so that Lee, Fred, and George can stay the night and then come with us to Thorpe Park."
He grimaced at the sudden cacophony from four teens screaming with joy and excitement.
"Are you sure you're up for this?" Mrs. Jordan asked after four of them had trouped outside to investigate the tents.
"I thought I heard one of them mention a bonfire," Mr. Jordan added thoughtfully.
Mrs. Granger laughed, "We're fine. We can handle pandemonium for 36 hours. After all, this pandemonium has made Hermione the happiest we've ever seen her. She didn't have many friends in primary school-partially because she was so focused on her work and the rules-so we're absolutely thrilled with how close she is to those three boys. I know we've told you this before, but before they adopted her, we were getting letters from her describing how she was being snubbed by other classmates and not feeling like she fit in anywhere. And then, Nov. 1st, everything changed. For the better."
"Despite the glitter," Mr. Granger muttered as he tried to pick pieces of the stuff off his sleeve.
"Despite the glitter," she laughed again.
