I tucked one leg up under my ass as I sat on the chair waiting in unfamiliar the hallway. I'd expected this weeks ago but the email had never come. I'd been happy to put it off for as long as possible. But there was no escaping it now.
My very first psychologist appointment with SHIELD. Apparently, I was important enough to even get SHIELD's top psychologist, Dr Andrew Garner. He was only a civilian contractor and brought in for special cases. I was most definitely in the special case category. I'd gotten a lift to work this morning with Clint. It was pouring down rain and freezing. Riley had been called in for a short mission at 0400 this morning so I couldn't hitch a lift with him. I didn't want to do anything stupid, like coming off my Kawasaki the morning of hopefully getting medical clearance to be back at work. The email had come through on the drive there and when I read it out to Clint didn't look surprised. He explained that after a mission not going within the acceptable parameters it was compulsory to at least have one psychologist session. His was right after mine and he planned on making a complete nuisance of himself. Or so he informed me with a smug look on his face. I was surprised it'd actually taken this long for SHIELD to make me sit down and talk to someone. I suppose I was being watched by two of the best in the business. If I was going to snap under pressure at least Clint and Natasha could handle me.
It wasn't stopping me from being a bit nervous about this.
"Agent Lyngley?" The door opened and a tall well built man stepped out. He was dark skinned and wearing a welcoming smile. As everyone with an office job as SHIELD, he was well dressed. I couldn't wear a suit all day. I was very comfortable in the black tactical pants and t-shirt I'd be given. Even my flight suit was comfortable. I was really stalling and my mind was wandering. My scattered brain wasn't helping my nerves. They kicked in full force the second Dr Garner opened his door.
"That's me." I sprung to my feet instantly. In my haste to get up, I nearly tripped over my own damn feet. I managed to catch myself in time to not fall on my face and make a complete idiot of myself. 0830 and I was already having a clumsy day. I may as well go home now and be done with it.
"Come in, please," Andrew said. He was polite enough not to laugh at my fumble. "I can imagine you are keen to get this over and done with."
Was I that easy to read? I followed him into the office a step behind him. I sat down in the chair he extended his hand towards, pulling my legs up so I was sitting cross legged. I rested my chin in my hand resisting the urge to fidget as Andrew sat down across from me. At least the chair was comfortable. It was more like a lounge chair. A very comfortable lounge chair.
"So." Andrew settled down into the chair across from mine. "I promise to make this as quick and painless as possible. How are you settling into life here in DC?"
"Better than expected." If we were going to make this quick and painless then there was no point fucking around. I may as well get straight to the point. "I didn't think it'd go so smoothly, but it has. Jared had been a big help."
I didn't miss the discreet eye roll coming from Andrew at the mention of Jared's name. I bit the inside of my cheek to hide my own grin. Bringing up Jared's name seemed to get that kind of reaction a lot. Especially from anyone with a small amount of authority.
"And what about your new team?" Andrew asked.
"They've been awesome." That brought an actual smile to my face. "Nat and Barton have gone out of their way to make me feel welcome into their otherwise private lives. I'm really lucky to have them."
"I have no doubt they feel the same way." Andrew looked down to his iPad briefly. "Any lingering effects from your incident?"
Andrew certainly didn't mince words or waste time. Maybe he was as eager to have this over with as I was. Who knew what else he had to deal with today. Having Clint after me would make me want to get through nearly anything in record time.
"A few weird dreams, but nothing I remember in the morning." I gave a small shrug."Honestly, I think I've been more upset about missing Saturday mornings where my neighbour would drop freshly baked muffins off to me."
Mrs Jackson really did cook the best muffins. Nothing ever tasted quite as good as hers. That statement made Andrew chuckle quietly.
"I got dealt a shit hand," I continued before Andrew could speak again. "My entire life blew up in my face, a life I'd worked really hard at. But I've been given one hell of a second chance and I'm embracing it. A lot of people would happily kill me for the opportunity I've been given. I'm doing everything in my power to make sure I don't disappoint."
"That is a very healthy way of putting things." Andrew nodded as he tapped away at the screen making notes. "Sorry, this iPad is new. I'm more comfortable with a pen and paper. But my wife insists I need to upgrade to modern times."
I chuckled but didn't say anything else. I waited for Andrew to finish what he was typing away at on the iPad. He was painfully slow. Maybe his wife should show him how to type quicker as well. Not that I could talk. I wasn't a very fast typer either.
"While we're not mincing words and being honest." Andrew finally looked up from the iPad "Would you like to tell me about your last mission?"
"It hurts a lot when a sniper take your tyres out and the car rolls?" I said smartly.
The unamused look Andrew gave me quickly knocked the sass from me and I changed my tune.
"Honestly Dr Garner, there isn't a lot to tell about it." I pursed my lips slightly not sure how to put this into words "At the moment I'm being trained by the two best Agents SHIELD has to offer and I always know they have my back. It was a little bit crazy but I haven't had any lingering problems from it."
I quickly stopped myself before I added that Riley had been keeping me too busy to dwell on that mission. What I said was the honest truth. At no time would Clint or Natasha ask me to do anything they wouldn't think I was capable of. It was my own insecurities holding me back. Not my lack of training from them. Every day I was learning something new. It could be from Clint talking me through something while we were doing archery practice. Or just a casual mention of a topic which would bring a blank look to my face and Natasha would take the time to teach me. I'd learned more from them in the last few weeks than the month of reading my SHIELD manuals.
"Is there anything from that mission that did bother you?" Andrew was watching me carefully. This was a test and I knew it. The wrong words would leave me off duty for a while longer and some more of these sessions. Both things I didn't want.
"Natasha shooting the spotter rattled me at the time." I went for the honest approach hoping it was my best option. "While I knew the reason for taking him out it still played on my mind."
"In what way?"
"I can't imagine killing anyone point blank like that." I chewed on my lip feeling nervous again. It was really strange to be talking about this. "I know I've killed people when I was a pilot in air strikes. But it's a whole new thing putting a bullet into someone's head where you can see the person. See their reaction when they're about to die. I don't know but it just feels cold and ruthless. I can't see myself doing it."
"That's a perfectly normal reaction." Andrew gave me a brief smile. "One that many agents who walk through this door have. It's not an easy or pleasant thing to take a life. Even more so in your line of work as a STRIKE member. Besides Specialist's, your field sees the most action out of anyone in SHIELD. Its normal to have doubts about something like that. In your circumstances especially. The majority of STRIKE come through as special forces members or from the Academy. It's one of the most competitive fields to get into to."
This I already knew from the snippets I'd heard when I first started here. Specialist and STRIKE, the two most competitive fields. Both had huge washout rates in the Academy. I think Jared said something like 70% of people who started wouldn't make it through the course. It made it tougher than most special forces units training. Even Riley had joked once to Jared he was glad he went through SEAL training instead of the Academy.
"Those agents get years training and preparation, not a month," Andrew continued. "I have to say I don't agree with how your situation was handled."
"Yeah neither does my Mom," I said smartly, unable to contain my smart ass attitude again. I still hadn't called her. But the last email I'd gotten from her made it very clear that I needed to fix that problem ASAP. Before she got on a plane to DC and dragged everything out of me the easy or the hard way. I was tempted to reply with only if she was buying dinner while she was here.
"Regardless on my feelings on how your situation was handled, I do believe the right call has been made." Andrew tapped his fingers against the iPad making the screen light up briefly. He'd chosen to ignore my attitude again. I snuck a glance down to his lock screen and couldn't stop my eyebrows jumping up in surprise. It was a picture of him and Agent May.
"Yes, that's my wife." Andrew's gaze followed mine down to the electronic device in his lap. "I believe you met her a few weeks ago?"
"Yes, on my first mission," I said quickly to cover my embarrassment at being caught snooping. "Barton called her Cookies and if there's one thing I've learnt quickly is never to repeat anything he says."
"Wise decision," Andrew laughed. "But back to you instead of deflecting."
I wasn't deflecting. I was curious seeing that picture pop up onto his screen. If nothing else it made me relax a little more. Andrew wasn't just speaking from his experience of a psychologist. He had a wife who was a Specialist, making it even more real for him. He would have seen more of what goes on the inside of an elite member of SHIELD's enforcement division than anything else.
"Do you at any point feel like you've been overloaded or forced into a situation where you haven't been in control so far?" Andrew continued before I could give him anymore attitude. He was very good at this. Straight to the point, no holding back on anything. I'd give anything to be able to sit in on Clint's session and see how Andrew handled him. It could give me a few tips on how to handle his childish attitude.
"Not really." That was the honest truth. "Of course I'm having moments of self doubt about whether I can handle things. But in the end, I've been able to manage. And I trust Nat and Clint."
That's what everything boiled down to. Trust. I trusted those two with my life. It was a scary thing to put so much stock in just two people. But somewhere in this crazy ride that had become my life, it'd fallen in there easily.
Andrew didn't say anything else. He just unlocked his iPad again and began tapping away on the screen. This time he shifted his leg so it was angled away from me. I tapped my foot against my leg restlessly. Only 15 minutes into this session and I'd felt like I'd done something wrong. Andrew hadn't asked me a lot. He hadn't delved into anything or pushed for more information with my answers. I hadn't fed him any bullshit either. I had a sneaking suspicion that if I'd given him bullshit answers he would have called me out on in straight away.
"So am I crazy?" I joked to break the silence.
"No more than I'd expect from a someone who managed to make her way onto STRIKE Team Delta," Andrew said lightly. His gentle teasing tone put me right at ease as he tapped away slowly on the screen of his iPad.
"Well, there is the running joke of Coulson is the one who always lets the strays come in." I leant back against the chair settling into the comfort of it.
"That he does," Andrew chuckled this time. "No Agent Lyngley, you aren't crazy. I appreciate the effort on your part not to give me any bullshit and be completely open with me. I'm assuming you talk to Barton and Romanoff about most things if you have any concerns?"
"And Jared when he's here, Riley as well."
The mention of Riley's name made Andrew's eyes flick back up towards me.
"Agent Hunterton," I elaborated "He's on STRIKE Team Bravo, the marksman. We've been seeing each other for the last few weeks."
"Ah, yes that was in your file." Andrew kept his gaze up at me this time. "How's that been going? It's not easy maintaining a relationship in this kind of work life."
"Call it still being in the honeymoon phase of the relationship, but he's pretty amazing," I couldn't stop the stupid grin I always seemed to get whenever he was mentioned from pulling on my lips. "It might be easier saying this now than later on down the track but he understands when I have to drop everything at a moments notice. This morning he had to leave for a mission early and I completely understand that he had to drop everything and go."
"Honeymoon phase or not that's a good understand and a key to making a relationship work." Andrew gave me a warm smile. "Believe me when I say I know that all too well. Well, Agent Lyngley, we're finished here unless you have anything you want to discuss with me."
"That's it?" I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice.
"That's it," Andrew confirmed. "I do mean it when I say I appreciate the effort of you being open and honest with me. It makes these sessions a lot smoother. I have no problems clearing you for work from a psych point of view."
"Yay." It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. That had been a lot easier than I expected, "Thank you, Dr Garner."
I bounced out of my chair ready to bolt from the room if he changed his mind at any second. I kept my footsteps quick but making it look like I wasn't ready to run off. Andrew got up more sedately and followed me a few steps behind as I made my way to the door. I opened it and he grabbed it keeping it open for me.
"If there are any issues, please don't hesitate to contact me directly," Andrew said before I could walk away. "Even if we don't have a session, I'm only a phone call or email away if you need anything."
"I will be in touch if I need," I promised, "Thank you again."
"Pleasure, Agent Lyngley." Andrew gave me another smile. "By all means, please tell your brother if he acted more like you his own sessions would go a lot smoother."
"Yeah, because he listens to me as much he would listen to you." I couldn't stop the roll of my eyes. Jared was such a pain in the ass when he wanted to be.
"Well, a man can try."
That made me laugh. I think Dr Garner and I were going to get along just fine. Another thing that would make my life easier at work.
My next stop was the medical wing to get cleared back for active duty. The bruises on my ribs had faded to nearly nothing now. I'd walked straight into an open door with my old injured side this morning without a flinch. While I was on my way I sent Natasha a text, knowing Clint would be in his psych session soon.
Once I got cleared from medical want to come to the archery fields?
I was dying for a bit of action. Even if it was just shooting the training bow for a bit. Natasha liked to bring her throwing knives to the archery field if Clint and I were shooting. She was amazing with them. I planned to pester her for a try of them today if she was coming with me.
I was in the elevator when her reply came through.
I'm bringing paintball rounds, want some? I'll bring your bow.
Did she even have to ask? A hell fucking yes was the answer I shot off quickly to her before I kept walking towards medical. Her grabbing my bow from my locker would save me another long walk to the locker room and the back to the archery fields. Even two months down the track I still wasn't used to how big the Triskelion really was. It was a solid ten minute walk to just about anywhere in it. I still got lost and had gotten used to asking for directions without being completely embarrassed.
I made it to medical without needing directions. I was in and out within three minutes. The doctor who'd originally seen my bruised ribs took one look at them and said I was good to go. Nothing more than a formality in the doctor's words. Another box ticked and I was back to active duty. I had no doubt an updated roster would land in my email inbox sometime soon. By the time I'd gotten to the archery range, Natasha was already there dumping a full magazine into one of Clint's archery targets. It was now splattered with various colours thanks to the marking rounds she was shooting. I waited until she was finished shooting before I walked up next to her.
"I couldn't find paintball rounds so we have to settle for chalk rounds instead," Natasha grumbled as she grabbed another full magazine and reloaded.
My training bow was sitting next to her with a full quiver of arrows. A P30 with a few magazines was sitting waiting as well. She'd already put the conversion kit on it to be able to fire the chalk rounds. It seems Natasha planned on spending a few hours here and she'd brought enough weapons and ammo to keep us both amused. There was an entire box of chalk rounds sitting there as well. It was well over 1000 rounds.
The rain had eased up while I was inside. It was still chilly but at least the sun was trying to make an appearance. I went for my bow first, slinging the quiver over my shoulder. I pulled two arrows from the quiver wanting to practice something Clint did.
He could hold his arrows in his draw hand and shoot them off without a pause. It was crazy how quickly he could do it. He could do it left and right handed as well, something I was very envious about. Being right handed my left hand just seemed to have a mind of its own when I tried to copy Clint. Most of the time I spent dropping my arrows or sending the second one flying way off target. But it was fun to keep trying to do it.
"How was your psych session?" Natasha asked. She aimed her Glock and fired a single round off. It hit the target just left of the centre, something she wrinkled her nose in disgust about.
"In and out." I notched my first arrow and let it loose. I couldn't stop myself from feeling smug at it hit dead centre. "Andrew appreciates it when people don't feed him bullshit."
"Andrew is good." Natasha emptied the magazine into the target. "What did you talk about?"
"Just the usual shit." I shot off my second arrow. I'd gotten too distracted watching Natasha hit the target to try and fire it straight after the first one. She was an exceptional shot. "He wanted to know if anything was bothering me from the last mission."
"Was there?"
"You shooting the spotter was about it." I pulled another arrow out of the quiver and shot it off. It landed an inch too far to the right of my intended spot. Shit. It was my turn to wrinkle my nose in disgust at my bad shot.
Natasha stopped reloading her Glock and looked over at me. She had a blank expression on her face as she stared at me.
"Why did that bother you?" Natasha's tone was flat, giving nothing away.
"Because I can't see myself doing it. I don't know how I'd do it, or even what I'd feel afterwards." I shrugged feeling uneasy. Had I said the wrong thing to Natasha? "What did you feel when you shot the guy?"
"Nothing." Natasha's face was void of all emotion. "I felt nothing when I shot him."
"Why?" I couldn't stop myself from asking it. Natasha was always honest with me, almost to the point of brutal some days. I had never seen the emotion switch off in her though. For the first time I'd known her, I was staring at Black Widow. Gone was playful and flirty Nat. The Widow persona was very intimidated. It was taking a lot not to shrink under her intense gaze.
"Did you read my file on how the Red Room trained us?" Natasha's cold gaze flicked back towards her target.
"No."
"You should," Natasha said flatly. "Because then you'd understand."
"I don't want to read your file to understand, I want my friend to tell me," I said cautiously. I didn't know how to deal with this side of Natasha. "I felt like I was invading your privacy so I glossed over most of it."
Natasha didn't say anything to that. It felt like the silence stretched on forever. I fiddled with the string of my bow waiting for her to talk first.
"It's how they trained us," Natasha finally said, with a heavy sigh. I had Natasha back with me. She looked young and vulnerable as her gaze flicked back to me. "To be emotionless. It makes everything easier. Truth is Kari, I saw the guy had Clint lined up and I did what I would always do. Tell me, if you had to choose between Barton and I living who would you choose?"
"I couldn't make that decision Nat." I studied her carefully trying to get a gauge on where this conversation was going.
"But if you had to," Natasha pushed. "Who would you choose?"
I couldn't think of what to say. Natasha said it so easily like she'd asked me to choose my favourite flavour of ice cream. But the first name that popped into my head wasn't hers. It made me feel extremely guilty. I couldn't tell my best friend that I could choose my other best friend over her. It was cold and cruel. The words wouldn't even form in my throat as I stared at her trying to get a grip on how this conversation had taken such a wild turn.
"You pick Barton," Natasha said after a few moments of silence from me. "Don't ever hesitate on that. You promise me that you'll pick him above me. It's the only way I will ever repay my debt to him."
"Nat," I started but she cut me off with a hard look. I swallowed back the words that were about to tumble from my mouth. I was going to tell her I couldn't ever choose. That it was stupid the even be talking about this. She would see right through my lie.
"Promise me, Kari," Natasha persisted. Her face softened as she looked away again. "Out of all of us, he had to most to lose. I made my peace with death a long time ago. The world could be falling apart but I will always bargain for his safety. And yours."
Her last added sentence was said very quietly. Almost like a whispered confession.
"I don't want anyone to die for me." I shook my head. "What makes my life more important than yours?"
"Jared."
It was so simple. That one name. The other half of me that could never be replaced. The only person who could feel my pain, my thoughts and emotions. We might not be as close as we were as kids but a twins bond could never be broken. To me, Jared was my soul mate. He completed me on another level that no one else would understand.
"I was with him when shit went down at the bar with you." Natasha absently twirled one of her curls around her index finger. "Jared felt it. That moment of sheer terror when that fucking idiot tried to grab you. It rattled me. I don't even want to think what would happen if he lost you, Kari."
Another thing I hadn't been told. I worked with spies and assassins. Why should I even be surprised shit was still being held back from me?
"It was then I promised myself I would look out for you, long before the thought of you joining us was even put into place." Natasha looked over to me with the smallest of smiles finally pulling onto her lips. "That cold hearted assassin from the Red Room may still be lingering, but only when the things I love are threatened. I will never be able to repay Clint for not only giving me a second chance but giving me a family and a life I thought would only exist in a dream. My little family here means every to me and no one fucks with my family."
I had no idea I meant so much to Natasha. I'd seen many sides of her in the short time we knew each other. I'd never seen this deep well of emotions she kept hidden away. It made me realise even more how grateful I was for everything both her and Clint had done for me. I could have very easily been assigned to a random team and be lost in the system for the next year and hating every second of my time in SHIELD. Here I was, I was loving this job nearly as much as the Air Force. It wasn't hard seeing myself staying on after my compulsory year. Something dramatic would have to change all of that.
"Just remember no matter what happens I'll always have your back." Natasha wasn't letting me get a word in. "Promise me you'll always have Clint's as well. The kids can live without their Aunty Nat. But it'd destroy them to not have their Dad."
"I promise." The two words felt so inadequate to say that after all Natasha had told me. Two words with a lot of weight behind them for one person. It was a terrifying thing. The world could be hanging in the balance and Natasha would bargain for one man's life. Knowing she would do it only made me realise I would too. This strange little mix of people we were made us closer than I ever realised.
"Good." Natasha finished reloading her Glock. "Now let's make Barton angry by shooting smiley faces on his targets."
Like that, the heavy mood was gone. I was all for annoying the shit out of Clint by making a mess of his targets. There was so little I could tease and torment him about. I'd jump at any chance to do either of them. I put my bow down in favour and went for the P30 instead. There was something very therapeutic about pulling the trigger and watch different colours splatter over the target. The paintball rounds make a bigger mess, but chalk rounds were just as fun. Like Natasha had suggested we both started to shoot making big smiling faces all over the archery targets. An hour and a half passed with no sign of Clint. We'd gotten through half the box of rounds and made a mess of the majority of the archery targets. Our fun was only spoiled by Coulson coming onto the range.
"We're busted," Natasha said guiltily, looking at the chalked targets. "So busted."
"Morning Sir," I said brightly as Coulson came into earshot. "What brings you out here?"
I was hoping a bit of charm might make him go easy on us. After all, he'd have to deal with the consequences of what we had just done.
Coulson looked at the targets and then back to both of us. He shook his head but smiled in amusement.
"I may or may not be coming to see what you two are up to." Coulson looked nearly as guilty as Natasha and I a second ago. "Also, I may or may not be avoiding anywhere that Hill might find me and lump me with the rookie Specialist's duty no one wants to take responsibility for."
Natasha pulled her spare Glock from the holster and handed it over to our handler. He took it without hesitation and started to make a mess of the targets without waiting for us. I'd never seen Coulson shoot before, but it was no surprise he had amazing accuracy. I'd only gone through another magazine before I heard Clint's voice ring out across the range.
"Seriously guys. WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Natasha did it!" I was quick to dob my partner in crime in. After all, it had been her idea to do this.
Natasha was quick to pay me back for my disloyalty. It didn't click in my head until a second too late as I saw her drop her Glock and point it at me. There was no dodging this. I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable world of pain I was about to be in.
When the round hit me it didn't hurt for the first second. The pain hit me another second later, enough to make me drop to the ground clutching my leg. I managed to bite my lip hard enough to stop the indignant yelp from escaping. The few tears snuck through as I sat on the ground clutching my thigh while Natasha laughed a little too hysterically for my liking. At least Coulson was trying to cover his laughter up. He wasn't doing a very good job at it. I scowled at both of them through my tears.
Another lesson learnt. Chalk rounds still hurt like a motherfucker. Especially when shot at point blank range. A bruise wasn't even going to adequately describe what my thigh was going to look like tomorrow.
"I'm sorry." Natasha didn't sound too sorry at all as she offered me her hand to help me up. "That was far too good of an opportunity to pass up."
"You're lucky I love you," I grumbled but took her offered hand. She pulled me back to my feet and I gingerly put some weight on my shot leg. It hurt like hell but was slowly fading to a dull throb instead of the intense pain.
By the time I was back on my feet, Clint had finished his angry stomp over to us. He was looking very unamused. Even Coulson had very quickly and discreetly tucked his own weapon away. Natasha and I were both saved from Clint's angry tirade by Coulson's phone ringing.
"Dead, both of you," Clint growled at Natasha and I while Coulson answered his phone. "Dead on so many levels."
I simply pointed at Natasha and then quickly jumped behind Clint for cover. He might be pissed that we'd made a mess of his targets. But at least he wasn't armed. I wasn't getting shot again, my leg was still aching from it.
"Kari," Coulson's voice made all of us look towards him. He'd walked away a few steps, obviously waiting for the inevitable explosion to happen from Clint. "STRIKE Team Bravo need an extraction. Want it?"
I peered over Clint's shoulder, nodding eagerly. Coulson gave me a knowing smile as he turned back to his phone conversation. Of course, I was going to say yes. It was silly of him to even ask. For someone who'd asked if Riley and I working together would be a problem on our first mission he certainly wasn't discouraging any interaction with us in the workplace.
"I'm coming too." Clint crossed his arms sounding like a sulking child. At least he looked less pissed off than before. "You're letting me take off for payment of messing up my targets."
"You're no fun." I gave Clint a shove from behind. The only movement I got from him was a small jerk of his shoulders. "But yes, I will let you fly even if this wasn't my idea."
"Fine, I'll stay here by myself." Natasha exaggerated a heavy sigh. "I might go find some paintball rounds instead."
She slowly inched away with every word that came from her mouth. She watched Clint carefully as her muscles tensed. She was poised on the balls of her feet, smirk on her face just waiting for the reaction from Clint. He didn't disappoint either. As the d fell from her lips Clint pounced after her. Natasha bolted, her feet skidding along the wet grass as she scrambled for a grip. In the half second of loss of traction, Clint grabbed her, throwing her up easily over his shoulder. Natasha didn't bother to struggle, she laughed as he walked off in long strides.
"You and I are going to find a really nice muddy patch Romanoff." The grumpiness was gone from Clint's voice as he walked away. "I'm going to save you a fortune on those mud facials you like so much."
"I suggest you make a run for it as well," Coulson put his hand over his phone briefly. "Otherwise you'll need a shower before you do that extraction."
I didn't need to be told twice. Weapons forgotten, I ran from the archery field. I'd nearly made it clear when a very loud shriek came from the opposite side. It seems Clint found that muddy spot for Natasha.
STRIKE Team Bravo had been sent to Panaca, Nevada. The only details Clint and I were given were the coordinates to land about five miles out of town. I had no idea what they'd been doing or why they were sent to the middle of nowhere. It was a two hour flight at the speed we got cleared at so Clint had plenty of time to practice. As promised I even let him take off, which he did without any issues. Like everything, he paid attention to every minute detail. Nothing got past him so it was no surprise how quickly he'd picked this up. He refused to give me the controls and wouldn't use autopilot either. My entire flight was spent talking to him with my feet up on the control panel. If he kept stealing my flying time I was going to make him start doing some more of the boring flights I had rostered on later in the week. Whether I'd actually get to them was another story. My life seemed to be interrupted by a mission just as things were starting to smooth out.
I'd sent Riley a message just as we'd left the Triskelion but had no response. Either his phone was still in his locker or there was no reception. Judging by the tiny blip of a town on a map my guess was the latter. I was hoping me being the one to pick his team up would be a nice surprise for him.
I finally got the controls off Clint as we went to land. He pouted the entire time as I smoothly put the Quinjet down but I wasn't letting him have all the fun.
"I'm flying at least part of the way home." I tried to scowl at his pout but I laughed instead. "I love my flying time too you know."
"Yeah but." Clint didn't have much else to say as he lifted his shoulders in a sheepish shrug. "It's fun and you actually let me do stuff without breathing down my neck."
"That's because you aren't incompetent." The Quinjet landed with a gentle thump. "And you look so damn proud of yourself that you can do it."
"That I am," Clint chuckled briefly. "I guess I had a good teacher."
"A good teacher still needs a good listener for a student." I flashed him a quick grin. "Now be a good boy and go make sure no one shots us when the ramp goes down."
As usual, Clint had a bow and quiver with him. I'd heard Laura refer to it as his 'other wife' which was quite fitting. I think Clint spent more time with his bow than he did his actual wife some weeks.
"I think you just like me calling you Ma'am," Clint joked as he got up and walked towards the ramp. As soon as he was there I opened it, scanning the external cameras for any sign of trouble.
"And the salute, don't forget the salute." I turned the chair around so I could face the back. "I used to walk past guys in uniform just so they could salute me. Kinda turns me on."
"That doesn't surprise me in the least." Clint notched an arrow and looked causal standing at the open ramp.
To my surprise, it was only Riley, Evans and Sam who walked onto the plane. Though my surprise was nothing compared to the look on Riley's face when he saw me. He even did a double take at me sitting in the pilot seat with a smug grin on my face. He looked exhausted, he'd barely noticed Clint standing on the ramp. His CheyTac was slung over his shoulder. Sam and Evans were both only lightly armed. This would be an interesting story on what had happened on the mission. If Riley was allowed to talk about it.
"I heard you boys needed a lift?" I couldn't wipe the grin off my face at Riley's surprised face.
Behind Riley and Sam, Evans was looking very pleased with himself. Now I knew who'd called Coulson for the pickup. For someone who'd kept us apart on our last course, it was a small surprise that he'd actually go out of his way to get me for the extraction.
"Most guys can't even get their girlfriend to pick them up after a drinking night." Sam was the first one to flop himself down into a seat. "Riley gets his girlfriend picking him up off missions."
"Jealous as we Sam?" I turned back to face the front. I still caught Sam rolling his eyes at me, though he didn't seem to have a smart reply for once in his life.
Clint had closed the ramp and was walking back to the co-pilot seat. He had a small exchange with the three in the back before strapping himself in. Once they were all seated I got us in the air and with a gentle sweeping turn, we were heading back to DC.
In the brief time it had taken to get us in the air both Riley and Evans were fast asleep. Sam was moving around quietly packing the weapons up as soon as we were level. It wasn't long before he came up and lent on my chair.
"So we're having a barbecue night at Evans on Friday." Sam got straight to the point of the conversation. "Riley said he wasn't coming unless you were, so you better come because I'm feeling very neglected by my best friend."
"Are your feelings a bit broken there Sam?" I teased him. Clint snorted in amusement before looking at me pleadingly again. I sighed, knowing Sam probably wanted to talk more so I got up and handed the controls back to Clint. Five minutes of flying and Clint already wanted it back. I'd created a monster.
Sam stood at the back of the chair fidgeting until we'd rearranged ourselves. Instead of sitting back down in the co-pilot seat I went for one of the seats in the back closest to the cockpit. Not that Clint would need me, the control freak in me just wasn't letting myself stray too far.
"Rough mission?" I asked nodding my head towards the two sleeping agents. Evans was snoring very quietly. Riley was just completely passed out. His hair was sticking out everywhere and even from a distance, I could see the sweat coming off him.
"It was short and sharp, there was no messing around with this one." Sam screwed his face up for a second. "So, are you coming or not Friday? It's a team tradition once a month."
"Sure, as long as I'm not barging in without an invitation." I felt awkward about this already. A social situation where I didn't know that many people wasn't high on my list of fun things to do. I didn't want to be hanging off Riley the entire night. I didn't want to spend it in a corner by myself either.
"It's always a plus one," Sam said with a shrug. "And since you two are attached at the hip at the moment, I won't get Riley there without you."
There was a bite to his tone that made me frown. Sam pushed his own messy hair out of his face. He looked just as tired as Riley did before. He was obviously pushing himself to stay awake to talk to me. He kept blinking more than usual and was absently rubbing his face as if to keep himself awake. He own shirt was soaked with sweat and I was too polite to voice how much he stank. Sam wasn't kidding when he said this mission had been short and sharp. It looked like they'd all had a long run.
"He's a big boy he can go without my permission." I tried to be tactful. I didn't know why Sam would be upset with me. I wasn't forcing Riley to spend all his time with me. He could make his own decisions and do what he wanted without me.
"Why are you with him?" Sam blurted out. That question made Clint glance back towards me. I gave him a small shake of my head, hoping he'd get the hint and not intervene. It seems I was about to get the shovel talk from Riley's best friend.
"Because he's funny, smart, likes me and my terrible sense of humour," I started, my frown getting even deeper. "Not that it's really any of your business Sam. But I happen to really like Riley and I'm still surprised as hell that he likes me back."
Sam looked taken back at my own snappy tone. It didn't stop him though.
"Did he tell you about Sarah?"
I shook my head. I had no idea what he was talking about.
"His bitch of an ex girlfriend," Sam elaborated. "They were together for ages nor long after he joined SHIELD."
I gave Sam a blank look, having no idea why he felt the need to tell me about this. I hadn't asked and Riley hadn't told me anything about her except ages ago that she didn't like him being away all the time. He'd never brought her up again or even given her name.
"She was fond of not working, spending all his money and sleeping around while we were away," Sam continued with a hard tone. "When Riley found out he was heartbroken and she left him. Then he kept going back to her when it was convenient for her and she'd string him along again. It really fucked him with him and he finally called it quits when she got pregnant with someone else."
"He's never mentioned her to me," I started but Sam cut me off.
"I am not letting him go through that shit again." The fierce protectiveness in Sam's voice made my mouth snap shut with an audible click. "If you hurt him or use him in any way, even Romanoff and Barton won't be able to protect you."
This was something I wasn't prepared for. Now I knew about it I knew I wasn't going to be able to help myself and ask Riley about it now. He was either going to kill Sam. Or be very unhappy with me about bringing it up. It was obviously still an open wound if Sam was getting this worked up about it. I looked over to Clint who was poised and ready to get out of the pilot seat. He was doing his best to look like he wasn't paying attention to the conversation. Me and Sam weren't exactly being quiet though.
"Fuck me, Sam." I let out a shaky breath. "I'm not going to hurt him. Or use him. If you haven't noticed we work the same job so why would you even think I was going after him for anything else besides the fact I really like him?"
What was it with today and being roped into his serious conversations? It was a Monday. It was way too early in the week for so much emotional drama.
Sam looked at me strangely for a second before the look wiped off his face. There was something he nearly slipped out with telling me but he managed to keep his mouth shut. I raised both eyebrows at him. What the hell was it that I wasn't being told about?
"Wow, so not my place to say." In a heartbeat, the grid and serious Sam was gone and replaced back with smart mouthed shit he normally was. "You really do like him don't you?"
"Duh."
Even Clint couldn't cover his own snort of amusement. Sam didn't pay him any attention. He was watching me carefully before his face split into a grin.
"Rangers are playing the Capitals in a few weeks, wanna come to the game?"
The change of topic was so abrupt my head spun trying to process it. There was so much more to this story and now I was going to be determined to find out. I wanted to smack Sam in the head for him thinking the worst of me. I also wanted to hug him for being such a good best friend and looking out for Riley. Instead, I smiled at the invitation. I had a funny feeling I was about to have a social life outside of my own STRIKE Team.
"Sure."
"Got any cute single friends that you can bring and we can make it a double date?" Sam's face was hopeful. It made my smile turn into a smug grin.
"Only Romanoff."
The look Sam gave me told me everything I needed to know. That was a definite No on his behalf.
Authors Note
Edited and updated 4th November 2018
