Hello hello! Flashback time and then some fall out of the ongoing issue of Shigaraki's threat and Alex's moment on the roof!


SHOUTA POV PAST

In their early days, Shouta had to adapt: to being responsible for another living person, to sharing his personal space, and learning to cook meals that would actually have nutritional value for a growing kid (Nemuri made it very clear that protein pouches were not a viable option, and she would not be impressed if she discovered he had been feeding Alex anything of the sort), and finally, he had to adapt to Alex's oddities. Of which she had plenty.

First, he discovered she had to gradually get used to sleeping on a bed; having fallen over her the first two mornings he went to wake her, and successfully dodged her the rest of that week. It seemed going from concrete to a plush mattress wasn't so simple.

Second, he had to slowly up her portion sizes for food. The kid wanted to eat, she practically forgot to chew the first couple nights, but then she promptly revisited those meals with her head down the toilet. At first he worried his cooking was somehow toxic, but Hizashi quickly pointed out Alex had survived off scraps for however many years. Slow and steady. She objected profusely until she found herself not puking twenty minutes after eating. Then she begrudgingly agreed.

Thirdly–although there were many more, but he really wasn't keen on long lists–she hated her hair being long. Despite now having easy access to being able to clean her hair, and therefore it had no risk of getting matted or anything like it did on the streets, she preferred it in the pixie style. It was easier. So, she kept trying to cut her own hair. By all accounts, this was his favourite oddity, because it led to one of his favourite memories with her.

One night, two weeks or so into their new lives together, about an hour after he had gone to bed, he heard a noise from the kitchen. He slowly made his way through, wondering if something had simply fallen over, when he found her perched on a stool yet again, wielding the bread knife near the back of her head. The first time he found her, he had no idea what to make of it. But when seeing the hair fall from her hand's grip, he had simply kept watch but out of sight. This however, was the third time. Clearly she wasn't doing a good job if she had to do it so often.

Slice. Slice. Trim. Trim. She had moved the stool over to the longer mirror by the fridge, the one he put close to the front door for any last minute "will Nemuri tell me off for leaving the house looking like this" checks. The lighting wasn't great due to the fact Alex hadn't used the lights beyond the one atop the hob, presumably to keep herself hidden. For some reason. She kept grunting as her tongue stuck out awkwardly, and she twisted in failed attempts to see what she was doing. He managed to suppress his chuckle. But clearly he had to help, she certainly wasn't going to ask.

When she lowered her arms in frustration, he cleared his throat.

"Gah!" She spun around and fell off the stool, landing on her ass on the kitchen tiles. She glared. "What the hell, Mister?"

"Thought we agreed Shouta?"

"I forget those things when people are being creepy shits!" She scrambled to her feet and hid the knife behind her back, which of course showed it perfectly in the mirror. Which she realised with a cringe and peek over her shoulder. "Uh… I um… I was…"

"Cutting your hair?" He leaned against the kitchen island. She blushed and nodded, bringing the knife out. He tilted his head. "You know I have scissors, right?"

She blinked. "I guess? I just kinda made do before… I'm used to doing it with a knife."

"Could've fooled me."

She glared harder and looked at the knife in her hands. "Can you get me the scissors?"

"Sure, if you let me take over."

"Huh?"

"Don't really wanna know what the lecture would be like from Nem if you stabbed yourself in the head whilst I was here to watch." He brought out a pair of scissors from the cutlery drawer. "I'd suggest an actual hairdresser but we're keeping you hidden of course…"

She eyed him and his long, unruly locks. Her bottom lip stuck out.

He brought out his phone. "How about we find some pictures? That way I can aim for something specific?"

Her eyes went wide. "Like at a real hair place?"

"Sure." He shrugged and handed her the phone after searching 'pixie cut'. She scrolled for five solid minutes before he gave in and put on some tea to brew, sensing that was the end of his sleep in all likeliness. The kid kept strange hours at that point still, her sleep having been sporadic and 'whenever I can' on the streets.

Eventually she picked one and held it out proudly. It was a pretty choice. He turned on the main lights, set her down on the stool and gave her a comb to brush her hair properly. It reached about halfway down her neck at that point. Or some of it did. Yes he had noticed her wayward hair before, but it didn't seem the kind of thing to say to a young girl. Hey kid, you know your hair looks super messed up, right? Nem would have killed him. He grabbed a towel and draped it round Alex, and then got his clippers as well. At one time, a very long time before Alex and so long ago he hoped most people had forgotten, he had worn a beard. It had required maintaining, shaping, trimming. As it was now, he just kept the scruff in check. The trimmer would work for the buzz cut bit she wanted at the nape.

It took about twenty minutes, and a couple moments where he worried he had fucked up, but by the end, he had done a decent job. It was the second time he saw Alex cry in happiness. She kindly clarified when she could talk, his inital fear being that he had made his first major parent 'fuck up' that she would talk to a therapist about eventually. But no. She loved it. She kept running her fingers along the buzzed part and making her now short fringe bop about. She was truly happy. A warmth blossomed in his chest that he hadn't expected, and he sent her to the shower to get rid of any small hairs that slipped past the towel.

As he sipped his tea he felt a strange sense of accomplishment. The kind of feeling he usually got when completing an investigation or arrest, or even if he managed a new fighting technique perfectly. But this had nothing to do with him. Not really. It was for her. He smirked against the steam, he'd have to watch out or the kid was going to turn him soft.

"All done, Shouta. Thanks again!" She chirped as she jumped onto the sofa, in fresh pajamas and her wet hair all over the place. She looked like a hedgehog. He couldn't help but laugh. She grinned and flattened it, clearly satisfied with his reaction. "No one's helped me with my hair since… I guess since Dabi." She smiled, towelling her hair some more when it dripped.

"Dabi?"

She nodded, dark eyes wandering to the closed curtains for a moment, a far away smile falling into place. "Just a pal from the streets. Not sure what happened to him… Hope he's okay."

"If he dared to take on your hair with a knife, I'm sure he's fine."

"Yeah, he knows how to look after himself." She laughed and then waggled her brows at him. "So then… Shouta..."

"Yeah?"

"It's your turn!" She threw her arms up.

He stilled. "What, now?"

"Can I do your hair?"

"Y'ain't coming anywhere near me with scissors kid, this is a carefully maintained mane."

"A mess ya mean." She laughed, holding her belly and flopping against the sofa. He set his tea down and flicked her forehead, but she continued to giggle.

"Next time I'll just shave you bald, shall I?"

She wiped tears from her eyes. "Okay, okay. It's very suiting for your broodiness, Shouta. Fine. Can I at least braid it?" She attempted to flutter her lashes, but clearly had no idea what she was doing. "Ple-e-ease?"

He sighed and opened his mouth to refuse, and that's when the pout came out. He blinked. The power the kid wielded already was terrifying.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and pointed. "I keep my hair ties in there. You… May do as you please." He flinched as she squealed, that warmth only getting stronger. It was official. He was doomed.

"You're the best, Shouta."

"Yeah, yeah kid." He sat on the floor as she perched on the sofa.

"Sit still!"

He had no idea if she even recalled it happening as she grew up. But to him it was a treasured memory, forever built on when she needed a trim through their following years together. Bit by bit he got better at cutting her hair, and more and more she enjoyed him taking the time. The warmth, from that night onwards, never truly went away.


ALEX POV PRESENT

The next morning, after my failed attempt to rebuild bridges, we didn't speak. The coffee machine whirred to life, I left his drink on the counter, he left the milk next to my mug. I ate my toast as I packed my bag. He seemed to skip breakfast and I didn't have the heart to suggest otherwise. We walked side by side, but nowhere near as close as usual, not even glancing at each other. The air was perfectly warm, yet I kept hugging myself for fear of freezing solid. Things were not right, but at least he wasn't yelling. Maybe I managed to convince him on some level, and maybe he was just sulking. It's what I hoped, anyway. It would do for now, until I could properly explain. I knew Hizashi had been correct; Dad doesn't see me as a burden. He never had. Now I just had to apply that logic and tell him everything, show him my trust. My throat thickens even as I dared to think it. I pursed my lips tighter. I'm a coward.

As the day progressed he got tenser. His glares deepened, his voice sharpened, and I swear my fellow students expect to be stabbed any second. They kept glancing at me for explanation, but I could only look down. Yes something is wrong, but not something I could talk about. The last thing my friends needed to know was how foolish I almost was. Right? Right?

By the time the end of day bell's rings, I felt like my head was going to explode. This wasn't just affecting us at home now, it's affecting his job. That can't happen. He's a great teacher, I can't ruin that part of his life. We have to talk. Properly. I could swallow my nerve and lay it out. Couldn't I? My heart clenched. I could try. But first things first, time to go home. He already left the classroom by the time I'm done chatting to Mina and Ura, so I'd headed for the teacher's lounge to find him. I can make this right.

The corridors were empty up on that floor, most students having already headed home. The orange light cascaded through the windows and warmed the side of my neck. Such a nice night. I'm almost glad we hadn't bothered with the car, talking on the way home might be best. Out in the open, not closed in, it might help. I spotted another student come round the corner, hair all standing up in a stunning shade of purple. Wow, brilliant. In this light it's all the more vibrant. I think I know the guy from somewhere, but as I got closer, I continued to fail to pinpoint. Why am I so goddamn bad with names?

Whilst trying to figure out where I knew the purple haired boy from, I spotted Shouta coming along a few paces behind. My pace slowed. Instinct stalled me to a stop. They both looked guilty, but Dad especially so. All day he's looked on the verge of breaking into a rage, now he looks fit to cry. What the hell was going on? As I slowed to a stop, so did they. The corridor seemed to grow cold as they stared silently. Dad approached. My heart pounded.

"Shouta wha–"

"I'm sorry it's come to this Alex, but I can't have you burdening yourself with this alone."

"What?"

"We need the truth, and at this point… I can't logically trust you, not without assurance."

Assurance?

I looked at the purple haired boy again and frowned. Where had I seen him before? My mild curiosity bubbled into real worry as I saw the pain in Dad's eyes. Whatever was about to happen, he hated it. But still he felt the need to go through with it. What the hell has he planned?

"I said sorry about the roof. It was just me being stupid, okay? What else do you want me to say?"

"The truth." He looked in so much pain.

"The hell do you mean? I told you–"

"Only part of it."

"A-And?"

I didn't think Shouta would ever hurt me, but even so I started to tremble. I begged with the universe to not prove me wrong, to not have Dad suddenly act like Shig–

"Hitoshi. Get on with it." Shouta moved away. "I hope you forgive me eventually, kid. But I can't lose you to your own stubbornness."

"What… What the fuck is happening?" I looked the kid up and down.

Hitoshi stepped forward. "You're Telekinesis, right?"

"Stay the fuck away from me or–"

My body froze.

I couldn't move, couldn't…

Couldn't… think. My breathing thinned and panic rose in my mind. This was wrong. Like being contained by Shigaraki but so much fucking worse; no chains, no doors, no flickering bulbs, freedom is right there through the sunshine filled window, but I can't even try to move towards it. Let me go. Stop this. Whatever this is, fucking stop!

Hitoshi took a deep breath. "We're going to ask you some questions about your past. You will answer all questions entirely truthfully. Breathe normally and calm down. Do not use your quirk."

I blinked, my breathing evened out and the terror lessened. But I was no less angry. It wasn't my emotions, not my reaction, it was Hitoshi's will. It pressed into me, like I'm pushed against a wall and he's another crushing me inch by inch. Only it wasn't Hitoshi, it was Shouta using Hitoshi.

I snarled. "Why're you involving another student? This is bullshit, Shouta!"

He held his head high. "With the situation as it is, me and the Principal agreed such measures allowed for us to ensure you were being forthright."

"Fuck the formality. You're being a dick." I kept trying to move, but my body ignored me.

Hitoshi shifted his weight. "I won't hurt you."

"You're not no, but he's gonna."

Shouta had the good grace to flinch, even so, he glared. "I will not lose someone else. Not when I can prevent it."

"What're you talking abo–"

"I lost someone many years ago, a friend, a close friend. By sheer god damned chance his life was cut short." Shouta never got this rattled. It was a whole new side to him. I knew something had broken on that roof, but I didn't think it was his damn mind. "I refuse to watch your life end when I can actually do something."

The fact he had lost someone so dear hurt, of course it did. I cared, he's my Dad; we shared everything, his pain was my pain. But that empathy was fogged by my rage, paling to the betrayal gathering at my feet.

I swallowed hard. "S-So you have your own secrets, hm? Ones you didn't wanna share until it mattered? Until I needed to know?"

The hypocrisy stung, but he shook his head. "Not the same."

"No?" I laughed. "Justify it all you want, you're intending to tear my past out of my mouth and read it like a fucking map."

"To help y–"

"Like I said." I snapped. "Justify it all you want."

His hand curled into a fist as he stepped away, back in line with Hitoshi. "Procede. Confirm the connection."

The kid cleared his throat and looked at a piece of paper. "Tell us how you met Shigaraki."

"On the streets, half dead. I barely remember it. He forced me into his gang. Kept me prisoner." I bit down on my tongue. Shit this was really happening. Those words. They poured out of me without me thinking, and not simply a slip up, literally without me thinking. I shivered with realisation. Of course, I'm such a fool, an idiotic fool. The kid from the sports festival; the one Midoryia dealt with, the mind control guy. I wanted to run, to disappear. My body raged against the hold his power had, but I couldn't move an inch.

Then I saw the little red dot. Shouta held a recording device.

Hitoshi continued. "The connection is made, sir. Alex, you may move freely."

I staggered, as though my feet suddenly came free from cement. The temptation to run was there, but I didn't bother. I wouldn't get far. This was far tighter a leash than Shigaraki had ever used.

They were going to force the truth out of me. Dammit no. It was my story, my past. Back when we first met, when I was just a rat on the street, Shouta said no collars. He promised. This went beyond a collar, it was a fucking noose.

I bit my lip and shook my head. "Shouta, stop this."

He closed his eyes. "Like I said. I won't lose you just because you're scared of becoming a burden. I won't stand by and lose someone I can protect."

"I was just being–"

Shouta glared, eyes going red for a second. "You're not a burden, and you'll know that once we know the truth and we continue to stand by you. This is the only logical way to make you believe that."

"Please don't do this." My eyes bleared, I was going to tell him it all on the way home. "Not like this. Please."

"I've waited long enough."

My tears fell. Hitoshi watched on with apology.

I tried to move away, it wouldn't do any good but I had to try. Don't make me hate you Shouta. Please. I already hate so many people in this world.

Hitoshi spoke again. "Stay here. Do not leave until I release you."

My body froze.

Like pins and needles smothered every limb; static fizzed in my veins, turning my body deaf to my own wants. I was nothing but white noise to my own will. I could see it so clearly, the big red door I locked my past behind, it shuddered under the weight of Hitoshi's quirk. It bulged as though succumbing to water damage, paint peeling and wood splintering against useless locks. I couldn't stop it. My past was going to drown everything. My tongue ached, eager to answer as soon as asked.

Shouta cleared his throat. "What did Shigaraki do to you during your time with the gang?"

"Branded me with his power, those are the scars on my back. Used my power for stealing..." I grit my teeth but the more I tried to withhold, the more I felt nauseous. I had to speak. The red door gave way. "Pushed me beyond my limits daily. Probably why I have nosebleeds even now. He punished me for any disobedience with his power, or starving, or locking me in small boxes with little air… Eventually tri-tried to kill me and give my power to some old fucker without a face. He taught me all my accomplishments were his. Made me his toy."

God dammit. Stop.

"How long were you with them?"

"Don't know. Felt like years."

Please.

"How did you escape?"

"I broke Shigaraki's arm in five places and ran." My knees gave way. Sobs choked out of me and my head pounded as I tried and failed to break free. "Please stop."

Shouta's voice shook. "Are you afraid of Shigaraki?"

"Yes."

"Are your nightmares about him?"

"Most, yes."

"Did you know of his plans to kill All Might?"

I gag. "No."

Silence hung in the corridor. That's what Shouta thought of me? He suspected I knew about the League's plan to kill All Might at the USJ? He believed I was working with the villains all this time? Did our time together mean nothing? Am I just a filthy liar in his tired eyes? Doubt and fear well inside me far quicker than the nausea. Everything over the past five years dims, highlighted by moments I caught him looking my way. Back then I thought it was in affection, sometimes even pride. Had it been suspicion instead? Had it always been suspicion?

Shouta's eyes closed. He can't even look at me.

I threw my bag at him as it's the only thing in reach. "You think I wouldn't have said–"

"Is there any part of you that cares for Shigaraki?"

I screamed and slammed my hand against the floor. "Yes."

"Do you love him? Explain your connection."

"I don't love him. I was starving when he grabbed me, the sick fuck made me dependant on him and kept me alive. What kid wouldn't end up attached to that?" I made a point of staring at Shouta as I said this.

Shouta's lips pressed into a thin line. "Do you consider me to be similar?"

"N-No." I wanted to lie, to give him a small pinch of guilt. I hate him. I hate him so much right now my heart burns. But Hitoshi's power dragged the truth out of me. No, I don't see Shouta as the same. Until now I saw no similarities between him and Shigaraki, but in the end they would all hurt me to get what they want. Whatever, right? As long as they get what they want. Dabi was right, you can only depend on yourself. I'm an idiot.

Hitoshi trembled.

Shouta continued. "If it came down to it, would you be able to hurt Shigaraki?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Did Shigaraki or his gang kill your parents?"

"I don't know what happened to my parents." I hung my head, my body feeling like it was filled with lead. "I told you th-that years ago. I'm just a shitty liar to you. You've never trusted me."

Shouta knelt beside me. "I think you have a habit of telling half-truths in order to protect those you care about, and avoid them worrying. But it nearly got you killed Alex, I can't–"

I flinched back from his touch to my hair. "We done?"

His hand retracted. "Nearly, yeah. Only two more. Once I give you the okay, release her Hitoshi. And Alex? Don't resent Hitoshi for this, he's just–"

"Fucking ask the questions." I growled and kept my head down.

"What did Shigaraki threaten you with that drove you to the roof?"

"He said the League would never stop. That they'd keep chipping away at my family and friends till I wasn't a liability anymore. That was what the first vision was about. He said he'd hurt you all to get to me." My nails scraped against the flooring.

"The other night on top of the school, were you planning on hurting yourself simply to remove the danger from your classmates and those that care for you?"

"Yes." I hauled myself to my feet. "We done?" I stared at Shouta as coldly as possible, closing my heart on the off chance I might be spared one or two bruises. Fat chance. But a girl can try.

He nodded.

I blinked slowly. "Release me."

The fizzing ceases. I'm freed.

I wiped the tears with my blazer sleeve. "There you go, pretty answers wrapped in a fucking bow. Happy now? Content you can read me like a god damned book?"

Shouta stared at the ground.

I massaged my jaw. "It should have been more than winning that took me from that ledge, sure… But you know what? It was also because I'm a survivor. You taught me I'm worth surviving. Whether you meant to or not, you gave this rat the idea she was meant to live." I wanted to tell him that with a smile on my face, with pride. My Dad taught me such wonderful things. Main problem now being that I dunno who the hell he is anymore, I don't recognise this person.

He looked up, but remained silent.

I continued. "I will not be his victim, but I'll definitely not be becoming yours either." I started to back away. "We're done."

He jolted. "But the league–"

"Just try and fucking stop me. Try it."

He shrunk back, eyes cast in shadow. "Does your promise stand?"

I paused and an ache brewed in my chest. Yeah, he still cared, in fact he cared too much. So much that he was driven to this insane move that's wedged something cold and harsh between us. In that corridor he's no longer my Dad, he's not even my Shouta. I made a promise not to hurt myself when we talked the other night, right?

I bared my teeth. "Like you promised me no collars?"

He seemed so small. It didn't suit him. I could lie but it would hurt Nemuri and Hizashi as well. They didn't deserve that. And at the end of the day, Shouta didn't either, but clarity was hard when seething with rage. I could lie, but I won't. As much as I hated him, I couldn't hurt him like that.

I nodded. "It stands."

"Thanks."

Fresh tears welled in my eyes. "F-Fuck you, Mister."

Then I ran.

Before either could say another thing I bolted down the stairs and forced my way through stragglers in the lobby. Shoving people aside blindly, I didn't stop till stumbling down the front steps of the school.

I gasped, leaning on my knees and waiting for the world to stop swimming. How could Shouta do that? He knew how much my story meant to me. It was one of the few things I ever owned. Betrayal sunk me to my knees, gripping my hair and screaming into the dirt. I didn't care who saw. I didn't care if the media got a juicy shot or a villain reported to Shigaraki. I just screamed. I had trusted Shouta. How could I be so foolish? I trusted him without doubt. What a moron. I saw his bleeding form on that sofa calling me his girl, I heard the pained begging for me to run as his bones turned to dust in the USJ, I saw the light in his eyes as I visited him in the hospital. I felt his fingers combing through my hair that first night he gave me a haircut. All tainted by this mistrust he just laid in front of me.

R-Right?

I had no idea. I knew nothing but burning confusion.

Heavy steps approached as my voice cut out to pathetic crying.

They paused beside me. I already knew it was All Might, before that big booming voice rattled my bones. "Young Alex, please get up."

"Why?" I braced against the ground. "You also want a dance from the puppet?"

"I just can't stand seeing you like that."

"Did he send you? Seems weird not to just send the mind-control kid again. So much easier when the person can't refuse."

"Aizawa didn't send me, no. I heard what he planned and saw you running from the school. I put it together that it didn't go well." He sighed and shifted his feet. He'd want to scoop me up, take me inside and make me some tea. But he can't. In that moment, broiling in my own rage, even the Number One hero couldn't save this rat.

"All Might, do me a favour?"

"Of course."

"Don't fucking touch me." I sat back, upright on my knees. He straightened and his hands returned his sides. He was gonna pick me up, dust me off, give me a speech. But this goes beyond a pep talk. My heart sat shattered at the bottom of my gut, shards shifting with every burning breath. "I don't wanna hurt you, but I have no way of knowing how I'm gonna react to the next person that tries to make me do something."

"Understood. I appreciate the warning."

"I appreciate the respect." I half-laughed despite the ongoing useless tears.

"Aizawa truly had your best interests at heart."

"He truly doesn't believe in me at all."

I hauled myself up as a cold numbness settled over me. I knew this deep down, didn't I? Somewhere, maybe behind that red door that's just been blasted open. I knew. The little kid on the street knew this that first day, stood in that small room being told it was all hers, that she could pick a wall colour and new bed sheets. She knew it wouldn't last. How could it? I'm not meant to have golden afternoons and potential, I'm meant to scurry between bins, pinching bank notes from distracted business men and watching my fellow street rats not wake on frosty winter mornings.

I was an idiot to think otherwise.

I brushed myself down. All Might clearly sought the right words, trying to defend his comrade, co-worker, hell even friend. I dunno. It's like I don't know Shouta at all. I just shrugged and looked towards the right window. There he stood, pale against the glass, watching me watch him.

I shook my head. "He's made it very fucking clear that he's never believed a word I said. From day one, not a single word. Guess it's good to know where I stand. Even if it is in a pile of shit."

"Please, Alex–"

"I just wish I'd figured that out before I went and let him know how much I care."

I grit my teeth, hating that small word that fell out of my mouth that day in the training arena. Dad. I called the bastard Dad as I thought I was losing him. I'd even said it a few times since, when it felt right. Idiot. My foolish little heart went and gave the game away. Rookie mistake. Never let them know how much you care, it just tells them how hard to twist the knife.

I reached into my pocket and held out my phone, keys and wallet to All Might. "Give this to him, please. I won't be needing his collar anymore." All Might hesitated and I shrugged. "I'll just drop them if you don't wanna take them."

"Alex you can't just leave." He held a hand out.

I gave back my leash. "Yes, I can. He always said I could, and so I am." I pull the school tie loose and shrug off the blazer, handing them both over. "He can take back his tuition fees I suppose, I'm sure the school will be lenient. His pet's been very poorly behaved." I swallowed hard and determinedly keep the sobs from my shoulders. "I'd hope keeping the shoes isn't me being too selfish."

Maybe I'm being petty, but right now it feels like my heart's been ripped clean out my chest. I needed space, I needed time. I needed to be alone in a world that made sense to me, a worth that I fit into. The world of things that've been thrown away. My parents didn't want me, Shigaraki only wanted my power and Shouta… hell I have no idea what he wanted. Whatever it was, he didn't get it.

I started walking. "See you later All Might. Do me a favour though… Tell the rest of my class I'm sorry?"

"What for?"

"Letting the side down. And likely putting their teacher in a pretty foul mood." I snorted. "That being if he's not secretly relieved instead. Getting rid of a rat might make his day."

"This isn't the right thing to do. He cares for you Alex, you know this. You know–"

"See ya All Might. Look after yourself old man." I don't know shit. But good try All Might. Good try.

He took a half step after me. "Where will you go?"

"Back where I belong, on the trash heap."

"But the League–"

"They think I'm with Shouta, this might even be safer. Whatever. You're not stopping me, All Might." I waved without looking back and just kept putting one foot in front of the other. Shouta always said I could leave whenever I wanted. I just never believed I would want to. I wasn't sure when I'd become a naive fool, but as the evening breeze made me hug myself tight, I made a promise to myself not to let it happen again.

As I reached the end of the road I heard someone calling my name. Nemuri. She's yelling, begging me to stop. I gave another wave and kept moving. She'd always been so kind, but I'd thought the same about Shouta. Sure his actions were sparked from concern, I get that, I'm not a total brat. But the way he did it, I feel like my body's been hollowed out by blunt knives.

I guess Shigaraki was right.

No one wants a rat.


By the time I reached deep in the town I found a coat and gathered enough money for something to eat. A little here, a little there, nothing that people would miss or likely even notice. Just like old times. No one saw me, I lingered in the background of their lives. Such a familiar feeling, but funnily enough the nostalgia wasn't pleasant. Typically it started to rain, but I held it off with my power. It caused a lot less strain these days, but as a kid I'd have had a headache in mere minutes. Since the USJ incident, my stamina had almost returned, which was good timing as I'm on my own for now. Bad timing was that my internship would go to waste. Well no, someone else might be able to take it. If Shouta was willing to take on anyone else. Not likely. He probably hated the idea of me being alongside him anyway; a filthy street kid that does nothing but lie. My steps faltered. I swallowed hard, the hatred bitter but pulsing with every beat of my heart. Maybe it's just juvenile thoughts, but at that moment, I couldn't help but believe them.

The rest of my class would be heading to their internships next week. I hope they're not too disappointed in me. Mina and Ura will likely worry the most. Midoryia would be hurt the worst I think, and Bakugo would be pissed that I quit. Kirishima wouldn't see it as very honourable I guess, and I can only imagine how Iida would react to a drop out. Todoroki… I guess he'll be miffed at not having a hand-to-hand partner. I laughed and slunk into an alley that's fairly well covered. A cat scurried past and I gave a meow in return to it wishing me a good evening. I could adapt back into this life, sure. I did it before. I could do it again. I could be alone and scared, dodging from place to place, hoping I'd get to see the next dawn, hoping I wouldn't wake with some creep looming over me whilst palming himself through his grimey trousers.

My eyes stung. Sure, I could do this again.

I walked the back streets of the city and ignored the cat calls; I'm still wearing my school uniform so the creeps had loads of fun. I headed into a store and grabbed some jeans, a t-shirt and a big hoodie. Okay I stole a fair amount of money, but there were one too many wolf whistles for me not to. Problems with puberty and a uniform. Plus it was easier to blend, hoodies were the way forward. Blending was exactly what I wanted, to slip into the shadows and never be found. At least for a while, till I could swallow this burning ball of anger that still thickened my throat. Dammit, I guess it's because I cared about Shouta so much that it hurts this much. Still sucks.

But what if Shigaraki planned for this and was simply waiting to strike now?

I stopped and looked around, paranoia fizzed in my mind just as much as that damn powerful Histoshi's control. Don't resent him Alex. Pah. I won't. Not Hitoshi's fault the teacher was being a callous bastard. I don't blame Hitoshi for a second, but he did scare the shit out of me. I became powerless. How did Midoryia do it? During the festival he broke free of the control. I kinda wish I'd also managed to tell Midoryia how impressive he had been. Breaking that control. It was amazing.

Eventually I found a small alcove that's mainly dry and I lifted the water that's settled. I placed some scrap in front and settled for the night. It would do. Tomorrow I would make a real plan. Maybe I should leave the city, maybe it was time to just wander the world. Stay out of everyone's way at the same time. But tomorrow. It could wait.


SHOUTA POV

Sat on the new sofa in the teacher's lounge, Shouta stared out the large window as the last of the day sunk over the horizon. It got dark. It started to rain. Her phone sat next to him, along with her purse and keys. There was no point in going after her, the girl would likely throw him against a building and run. Nem wouldn't hear it though, she went down and tried to catch up. She yelled. She screamed. He wondered if she even got a wave from Alex, or if the girl had rushed off by using her powers. That wouldn't be legal, but he doubted Alex cared. The police wouldn't be able to catch her these days, the only way would be his quirk, and he'd never be able to stomach such an action. Not now. Not since seeing that outright look of betrayal, since those tears, since that break in her voice. Fuck you, Mister. Damn. He promised no collars and he'd broken her with a fucking noose.

But the fear that drove him. The absolute fear of simply standing by and having someone slip through his fingers again. It had been such a long time since he allowed himself to think back on them, his lost friend. Their name… It stuck like barbs in the back of his throat, his mind. He couldn't even think the words. Not anymore. Not since he failed them so utterly. And now, in trying to avoid failing Alex, he had done something far worse. He had betrayed her trust, and that in itself was another form of failure. As a man, as a hero, as a parent.

He laid his head against the back of the couch and watched the ceiling fan. "You're such an idiot."

"No argument here." Toshinori's rough voice grumbled from the door after it closed to conceal his withered form. He shuffled over and sat down heavily.

Shouta watched the fan, hoping it might somehow dry his eyes before they spilled. He should have just gone home, to stare at her empty room instead. But no, he foolishly hoped she might change her mind and run back to the school. She wouldn't. He knew she wouldn't. But still he stayed, and still he hoped.

Toshinori sighed. "She looked broken, Aizawa."

"I know."

"I told you not to do it. She had her secrets sure but–"

"I know." Shouta closed his eyes and let the tears roll. The Number One hero will have seen if Shouta wiped them or not, so he just let them disappear into his scarf. "I pushed too hard because I was scared. Now she's gone. Probably the best thing for h–"

"One set of self-loathing got us into the mess. Don't go adding another." Toshinori snapped and Shouta nodded, letting the words die out on his heavy tongue. "Give her a couple days to cool off, then we can… well… How will we find her?"

"Doubt we will. Unless we're very very lucky, or she wants to be found."

"I could ask Midoryia, perhaps some of her classmates would–"

"One forced action started this, let's not do another." Shouta sat up, leaning his elbows on his knees. "The kids will know tomorrow morning, let them react however they're gonna react. If they wanna go looking, I can't stop them. But I won't ask them either. The League is still out there, I won't knowingly endanger them. It's only a small chance I haven't done that to her."

The silence hung heavily until Nemuri arrived. She marched over to Shouta, stood behind him and slapped the back of his head. Stars flickered across his vision. He deserved that and more.

"You idiot. That girl's all on her own now in the city. It's gonna be dark soon! What're you doing just sitting here?"

"What do you propose? Kidnapping?"

"Nah you've already brain-washed her today, maybe kidnapping's too much." She strutted in front of him and stood with her hip jutted out as she folded her arms. Every bit the unimpressed mistress. "All that girl ever wanted was to measure up to you, to earn your trust and your respect. And what do you do?"

"Nem–"

"After she's called you Dad and cried her eyes out over your mangled body?"

"I–"

"After she nearly killed herself defending you? You treat her like a common thief, like some scum you've arrested off the street yesterday. You–"

"She nearly threw herself off the top of the school, Nem." He clasped his hands tightly, pressing them to his lips as they trembled. He was determined not to fall apart in front of them. Even with that in mind, every breath seemed to stretch that hold. Like seams were being picked apart and he was going to simple topple into nothing.

Nemuri's arms fell slack by her sides. "She what?"

Shouta didn't bother repeating himself, he knew she had heard, it just took time to digest. The idea of Alex, a kid so strong willed and confident, brought so low; it was hard to wrap your head around. Shouta barely could and he had witnessed it first-hand. He had no idea how Toshinori or Nemuri would handle it, or Hiz once Shouta had got the chance to speak to him. Now that Toshinroi and Nemuri knew, Shouta knew he couldn't leave their injured friend out. Hiz had to know. In some way or another, they were all her guardians. They were certainly all her family.

Nemuri knelt, wiping a few tears away before she looked at Shouta imploringly. "When did this happen?"

"After Hiz got attacked. She nearly… Fuck." He grit his teeth. "Something has been messing with her for weeks, ever since the Sports Festival. After I saw her, perched on that fucking railing, I had to know the truth of what she was trying to save us all from. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to help. But as usual… I fucked it up."

Nemuri pulled him close. "You silly man."

"She was quiet, distant, kept avoiding my questions and dodging a straight answer. Hitoshi's power was the only logical thing. I didn't think she'd run… that she'd–"

"Still think logic is always gonna have the answers huh?"

He closed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder. Toshinori placed a hand on Shouta's back. It was Alex out there in the cold, on her own, facing a world she had long since left behind, yet it was him being comforted. It couldn't be more backwards.

Shouta shivered. "Guess we always knew I'd drive her off."

"Took you a lot longer than we imagined." Nemuri sniffed and laughed softly, running her long fingers through Shouta's hair. "What's on your mind All Might?"

"I knew Alex was troubled after the close encounters, but… I hadn't realised how close she came to hurting herself." He groaned, covering his sunken face when Shouta looked back. "And I let her just walk away."

"She considered the roof because of Shigaraki's threat. They would keep hurting us to get to her. She saw it as a means of saving us." Shouta tried to find his composure. Imagining her out in the rain, alone and curled into some dirty alleyway was far too easy. In the weeks building up to him finally making contact when she was a little kid, he kept catching sight of this tiny little warrior, this tiny machine of nerve and defiance. She was amazing. But she shouldn't have had to have been. Just a kid.

Nem huffed. "She always took on too much responsibility."

"For now, she had to be let go." Shouta sat up and wiped his face. "With any luck she'll see why I did it, still a shitty thing to have done, but if she at least understood then… I dunno. Maybe she'd come home? Maybe I'm just being foolish."

"Maybe." Nemuri looked out the window. "But you're right… She needed to be let go."

Toshinori sighed. "But what if–"

"No, All Might." Nemuri put a hand on his knee. "Alex had to be given this chance to breathe. Some time alone will help. She evaded this Shigaraki boy for years when she was only small, when she couldn't use her power much at all. So now, with her power so much better controlled, she'll be fine. I doubt the League will expect this anyway, so that should give her a decent bit of protection. Her power's stamina has returned, right Shouta?"

Shouta nodded but kept his hair in front of his face. "She can fight again, yes. But if she gets hurt by one of those villains… Dammit, I'll never forgive myself."

"Doesn't look like you're planning on doing that anyway." Nemuri pushed his hair back slightly and winced at the pain in his eyes. "Alex's strong, Shouta. You trained her well."

"I know. It's the only reason I'm not running after her right now. She'd kick my ass."


Dun dun duuuun! So Alex has run away and Shouta... well he's not his own biggest fan right now. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, plenty more to come! Thanks to all that have faved, followed and reviewed ^-^ glad you're enjoying! Shoutouts below!

SHOUTOUTS:

Jerzu: Todorki and Alex fumbling was definitely intentional change of pace! Haha it was something I was glad to have clocked when you mentioned the tone issue, so I hope the wee flashback is also a good nod in that direction for you as well. Glad to hear I portrayed the heavy stuff appropriately for you as well, these things should never been taken lightly in my opinion. Also super glad to see you seem to think the motivations for characters are fitting! So yay! Thank you! Info on Mic still to come ;) Thanks so so soooo much for commenting, really does make my day/week! Hope you liked the update ^-^ see ya soon!