HELLO! Another update :) I hope you guys are still enjoying! Thanks so much for all the comments on the last update, really made my week to know it was getting such reactions! ^-^
NOTE: I have only ever watched the Anime, I have not read the manga for MHA. SO potential spoilers if you're not caught up on the Anime, details may well be foreshadowed early etc.. BUT on top of that, I do use things like Pinterest so I have seen panels that are POTENTIALLY from the real manga and POTENTIALLY have spoilers within them that I am working with. (It is often hard to tell what is legit and what is fanmade, I am sure you can understand haha, some amazing artists out there) SO, my point is, read at your own risk. I do not KNOW if these are spoilers or not, and certainly don't know enough to go into super detail (nor will I highlight here what I'm referring to, because that ALSO helps keep things vague for my lovely readers), SOOOO there's the kinda warning/explanation. I also do not wish to have any detail that IS a spoiler that I have unknowingly used to be pointed out to me, if possible, please and thank you. I am just trying to tell my own version of the story here, and am just sharing it with you guys on the off-chance someone gets a kick out of it! Which some of you seem to!
RIIIGHT now that's out the way, on we go!
SHOUTA POV
The third mug cracked off the side of his head, the previous two having missed and smashed against the wall. Nemuri tugged the fourth out of Hizashi's hand finally and encouraged the recovering man back onto his couch. Shouta blinked and picked the porcelain out of his hair. A bruise would form on his temple, but really it was the least he deserved. He hadn't been keen on telling Hizashi until at least the morning, but when their wounded comrade started texting, wanting to check in on everyone, it seemed cruel to lie. So Shouta and Nemuri went to Hizashi's flat to explain what had happened. What Shouta had done and that Alex had run away.
That had been twenty minutes ago. Since then small gasps and harsh rasping curses had escaped their friend's mouth, but not much else. So to express his anger, the crockery had started to fly. Now he slumped on the couch, hugged a cushion close and angrily texted, small grunts and coughs still escaping. The bandaging showed no signs of torn stitching at least. Recovery girl once again outdid herself.
Shouta's phone buzzed.
Loudmouth: [Yuo fkin ass man, hwo culd ya d that to our grl?#!]
Shouta sighed and perched on the armchair opposite, letting Nemuri clean things up and prepare tea. He offered to do it himself, but was hushed. It kept her busy. It kept her distracted. They all had their ways of coping.
"If you're gonna communicate like that, at least spell shit properly, Hiz. I can barely read that."
Loudmouth: [Oh, so NOW you wanna communicate? #fuckinhypocrit]
Shouta nodded, again, it was the least he deserved. "Was there anything specific you wanted to say, or is it just gonna be abuse for a bit?" He held his hands up to the enraged expression. "Not that I don't have that coming. Just curious."
Loudmouth: [You'll take what I give.]
"Fair."
Loudmouth: [You went too damn far man, WAY too damn far.]
"I know. And I'm sorry. The word doesn't work very well I know… but I am."
Loudmouth: [Do you even know where she's at? Any idea when she's coming bk? Is she coming bk?]
Shouta shook his head, shrugged, then just bit his tongue. He knew nothing. But he couldn't fall apart, he'd already had his moment to do that in his own empty apartment. After waiting in the Teacher's Lounge for too long, he and Nemuri headed home. Nemuri went to her own place, wanting to freshen up before visiting Hizashi. It was her turn. So for about an hour before Hizashi started asking questions, before the texts started and it was decided they would get on and explain the truth, Shouta was left alone. Initially he stood at Alex's door, willing himself to open it. It took ten whole minutes. Before it was open, he could fool himself that she might be sulking under the covers, waiting to slam the door in his face with her quirk. Or that she would be hunched over her desk, doing school work or quirk theory, only acknowledging his presence by flipping the bird. But no. Eventually he had to open the door and stare into the vacant space. So quiet. So empty. The still made bed, the tidied desk and single sock peeking out of the laundry basket. She always missed one.
He didn't enter. He couldn't.
His toes brushed the change in carpet and that was enough, his eyes stung and bleared. He bit the tears back, used his capture weapon to grab the basket without going inside, and loaded the machine. He set it on, cleaned any dishes in the sink and dried them. He left a curtain open with a lamp in view, as if she would be looking for a sign of home. No chance. But he did it anyway. He put the dishes in the cupboards, and looked for something else to do, anything. Eventually he found himself fluffing a damn cushion before he stopped for long enough to feel the silence. The quiet beyond the hum of the washing machine. The silence that made that ache in his chest burn. It sunk into him like winter rain, making him tremble from head to toe.
Idiot. Fool. Bastard. Asshole. Callous shithead. Crappy Dad.
He didn't have enough words to curse himself with, and eventually he just sat and watched the washing because it was something other than tearing his own hair out. That was when the call to arms came, that was what led him to the armchair where he refused to let any more tears fall. They would encourage pity, and he had already been given too much of that in the teacher's lounge.
"I'm sorry Hiz." He croaked, clearing his throat as his choked voice made both his friends wince. "You too, Nem. I should have listened."
She smirked. "Don't suppose I can get that in writing?"
Hizashi tilted his head, teary eyes narrowing.
Loudmouth: [I'm gonna ask somethin man and you're gonna be honest, deal?]
Shouta nodded. "Of course."
Loudmouth: [Was all the panic and stupid because of HIM? Because we lost him?]
Shouta's hands shook as they held his phone. It was good to know Hizashi hesitated over the name too. He stared at the message long enough that Nemuri came and read it over his shoulder. She sighed and put an arm round him, her warmth only making him shake more.
"Still blaming yourself, for that?"
"Obviously." He snapped. "But that's besides the point. This is about Alex."
They didn't need to know he'd mentioned that loss to Alex, to help justify his shitty behaviour. It didn't justify anything. It just highlighted how much of a scared little kid he still was. Still useless, still powerless, still helpless when it came to helping his loved ones.
Loudmouth: [Y'know how much he'd kick your bony ass for that, man?]
"Yeah. I know."
Loudmouth: [I told ya then, and I'll tell ya now. It wasn't you. It was never you. Shitty things happen, it's part of our deal as heroes, ya dig?]
"Yeah."
Loudmouth: [Dammit man, I wanna kick your ass for him. He'd call you all kinds a stupid for this.]
Shouta smirked. "He'd have gotten on with Alex, don't you think?"
Hizashi gave a rasping laugh and then pinched his nose as more tears threatened. Whether it be for their current loss or the one that ached from so long ago. Nemuri squeezed Shouta's shoulder and went to Hizashi, holding him close and petting his hair as it sat in a messy bun.
"You two darlings… What am I to do with you? I'm outnumbered again." She kissed the top of Hizashi's head. "She will come back, I believe that absolutely."
"Why?"
"Because as much as you two are alike, she'll want to come back and apologise."
"She didn't do anything wrong."
"I know, you both find fault when there isn't any, but the difference is she's far more open to the concept of apologising. Before too long, at least." She chuckled. "You've done plenty wrong in this instance, Shouta, don't get me wrong. I will be calling you a bastard for a while. But I do understand why… I can say that much."
Shouta nodded and hung his head.
His phone buzzed.
Loudmouth: [I'm sorry for my part too, man. If I had been open with y'all earlier, who knows what mighta gone different. I fucked up too. I know that.]
Shouta shrugged. "You were her confidant. We knew about the connection in plenty of time, I just didn't appreciate the Shigaraki bastard's ability to rattle her."
Nemuri read the message on Hizashi's phone, and held him closer. "Alex has never seemed the type to be rattled. We all assumed that."
Loudmouth: [Is it stupid that I miss her already, yo?]
Shouta laughed wearily. "No. I nearly cried over doing her laundry earlier."
Nemuri sighed. "I guess we're all going to be a little lost without that lovely little lady."
They all nodded and Shouta went over to their couch as they gestured him to. He sat on the other side of Hizashi and leaned into the hug sandwich, aware that he didn't have the strength to pretend it wasn't exactly what he wanted and needed. Except one thing. One amazing girl.
"I fucking need her back, guys."
"We know."
Loudmouth: [Duh.]
SHIGARAKI POV
Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.
The screen flickered in static, Master's words hanging in the air like character dialogue from a game. Shigaraki didn't like the words. Being denied by Master didn't exactly happen often, but that made it no less annoying. But it didn't matter how much he pressed A or X in his head, the response was the same, the result the same. Denial. No. Don't do it. No. No.
Scratch. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch. Scrat–
A shadowed hand of Kurogiri reached over the bar. "Shigaraki, do not trouble yourself."
Blood caked under Shigaraki's fingernails, and his breathing was erratic, but still the screen flickered blankly. Master ignored his pleas. That wasn't how it was meant to go. None of it was.
So, he would try again.
"Master. I don't understand."
"I am aware." The voice droned, the picture making Shigaraki's head hurt with its unchanging nature. Unbending. Unyielding. "But you have already gone against my advice when it comes to the girl, and I have been forced to take matters into my own hands. It is not something I enjoy."
"My guys would have had the damn annoying Voice guy!"
"I am aware. That is why my own agents had to act, to prevent the Mic hero's premature death." Master sighed and Shigaraki sat back onto the stool, biting at his chapped lips as he felt the brewing disapproval. "You threatened to haunt her, yes?"
Shigaraki's teeth clicked together.
Master continued. "To jump from simply injuring the Midnight woman, straight to killing the Mic buffoon would have been futile. I understand your want for destruction, but I caution you against pushing too hard. The goal is to control Alex again, yes?"
"Yes."
"To do so, you must work slowly. Allow her own foolishness to do some of the work."
"But she's on the streets, we can get her back right now! Let me send someone." Shigaraki panted, nails raking along his flesh. "The Association contact told us she's in the city somewhere. We can–"
"Let her come to you."
Shigaraki grit his teeth. That meant more waiting, he was bored of waiting. He already had to wait so long to find her again after she broke his arm. But still more waiting? It would never end. Never ever.
Master gave a soft cough. "The girl is dementedly loyal, it is the one reason she was so handily kept in check to begin with when we had her for ourselves. Her want to protect those she loves will only grow, it will only fester as she misses them during her time alone. It will drive her to a desperate move."
Shigaraki stood, stool falling behind him. "And if it doesn't? If she just runs home to Daddy and we lose our chance?"
"Then you wait for the next chance."
"More waiti–"
"She will have no doubt reminded herself of the fears she faced when living on the streets before, she will be behind her classmates in studies, she will be shaken. And then… Then we enact the next stage of the plan. Trust the plan, Shigaraki. I will not lead you wrong."
Shigaraki looked at the ground, a swell of guilt pushing him to hug his elbows tightly. He began to shiver. Master sounded sorry. Master sounded like he believed Shigaraki doubted him.
Scratch…
Scratch…
Scratch…
"Master, I did not doubt you. I'm just impatient with this level."
"I know, Shigaraki. I know. Just remember this is all for you. One way or the other, you will have her again, but for now I caution you to pick the longer game. Trust me, it will make the pay off all the sweeter. And your revenge all the better."
Shigaraki looked up from under his blue fringe. "So I still get to crumble her?"
"Of course. As slowly as you like, as soon as I have her power, she is yours to play with. I promise. All I ask is the chance to study her first."
Shigaraki drew a deep breath and put his head against the flickering monitor. "I don't get why she's so interesting to you, but whatever."
"Dear Shigaraki, has it ever occurred to you how much the girl has endured your power over the years? How as a child of eight she managed to thrive on the streets? Took a bullet at ten and lived?"
Shigaraki sunk back and shrugged. "Those hero types are annoying and live too long–"
"Think bigger." Master chuckled. "It is possible she inherited something from the other side of the family. Along with her Telekinesis."
Shigaraki tilted his head. "Like the weird Todoroki kid?"
"Nowhere near as potent, Alex is talented but her quirk is not so powerful in its own right. Hence the time we have waited for her to cultivate it. But a secondary, though only minor quirk, would explain her ability to endure pain and damage." The picture was static, but Shigaraki could sense Master's smile. But he continued to not understand the joy. "It is something to explore, certainly. She makes for an interesting potential study."
"It's not like her parents were important…" The screen buzzed with impatience and Shigaraki sighed. "But it's the power that matters, not the person. Yes master, I remember."
"Good boy."
"Thank you, Master. "
"Of course dear boy. Now rest up, this is the time to be making preparations. You have guests coming, I believe. Potential allies?"
Kurogiri bowed. "Indeed, sir. Many are gathering."
"Good." The screen dimmed. "I look forward to hearing of results soon. For now, let the foolish girl stew. Her and her ilk will be their own undoing."
"Thank you master, thank you."
ALEX POV
Dammit it's so cold. Did Shouta leave the window open after he came back in from patrol? It wouldn't be the first time, he's passed out on the sofa enough times. Once a pigeon got in. Oh god I hope we don't have another pigeon fiasco, it took forever to clean up the feathers.
I groan and turn over, wincing at the hard surface beneath me. Have I fallen out of bed? My mind clears bit by bit, blink by blink, and I watch the sheet of metal I put across my little alcove shudder in the wind. Oh right. I forgot. No bed to fall out of, no window to be left open. Not even a blanket to curl into tighter. I sit up and rub my eyes, trying to convince myself that they only stung from a lack of sleep, not a sudden hollow sensation eating at my gut. Shit. I can do this. I can.
I shove the metal out the way, glad to see the alleyway still empty. No company was the best company right now. I stretch out and rub the fresh bruising on my hips, one of the many things I hadn't missed from sleeping on hard surfaces. Guess I'd get used to it again. I head back onto the streets as the city starts to wake. At least it's still quiet. It's so peaceful in the light drizzle, though the wind has me pulling my hood closer and seeking the nearest coffee shop. The city has enough caffeine addicts that most major chains open at dawn anyway, so I'm soon warm and cradling a mug close to my chill-pinked cheeks.
I need to make a plan.
Staying in the local area, even if it was the back streets, wouldn't work. My classmates go to school through these streets, the pro heros working alongside Shouta patrol the alleys. Someone would see me. Someone would interfere. I put my head against the counter and take a deep breath. This isn't forever, at least I don't think it is. I might not want to be gone for good, I can admit to myself that I already have that gnawing sense of loneliness. It's been one night, and I miss Shouta. I miss our apartment and his stupid inability to remember to refill the coffee pot. Or how he leaves a towel scrunched up when it's meant to be drying. I miss cooking for us. Already, I miss home. My eyes itch again but I just sip my coffee and bite back the tears. Maybe this is a stupid idea, but some time apart will be good. I can clear my head. I can work towards forgiveness; because for all I miss him, the bitter anger remains.
Whilst I'm gone I can get to the source of all these problems. I can try and find Shigaraki, I could try and fix this… Right? I roll my eyes at myself. I'd just get myself killed.
No. I'll take the time, I'll use the internship week as a means of clearing out my damn head. Of figuring out where I actually fit into all this. My past had officially invaded the present. No two ways about it. No means of denying it. Fact. Now I have to learn to swallow that, and accept that I need help escaping it. From my friends, my family, I have to lean on them. Soon. For now I can just get this damn head of mine out my arse, and that's best done alone. I think. Dammit, I'm a moron. Too much pride. That's what Todoroki would say, right?
"I'll go ahead and assume I'm just really lucky, and you didn't somehow know I'd end up here." Todoroki's voice murmurs from nearby, and I freeze. What the hell? I peek past my hands and see him standing by my table, his own coffee in hand. He makes no move to sit. "Well?"
"I uh… I…"
He smirks, looking at the seat next to me. "May I?"
I nod.
He sits.
I stare at my coffee. "How come you're uhm… you're… well why're you here?"
"My Father got word from the association that you'd run away from home, the others from class likely won't know yet."
I purse my lips. Oh. That's bloody annoying.
Todoroki traced the top of his mug. "He gave me quite the talking to, gotta say. You're a bad influence, apparently."
For a few moments we just sip our drinks. I haven't run away, that isn't quite right. Then again, I can't assume that was the exact wording given to Endeavour. He'll have simplified it to his own arrogant assumptions. Arse-hat. But that wasn't particularly important right now. What was, was why Todoroki was out in the city at just gone 5am.
I set down my cup, Todoroki follows suit.
I take a deep breath. "So how come you ended up here?"
"They said you left from school, I looked at the map of the city and just started walking. Been out for a while I guess…" He checked his watch. "Maybe four hours or so–"
"What?" I blurt and he blinks at me. "Why? Why on earth were you wandering around the city at night like that? Why would you–"
"I was concerned." He frowns. "Such a rash action rather indicated something bad had occurred. You and Mr Aizawa seemed to have such an enviable relationship, we'd even discussed it ourselves, so you running away… It had me worried. Was I wrong to act on it?" His frown persists.
I sigh. "No, not wrong. I just… I'm sorry you went to so much trouble. I didn't mean for anything like that. I didn't think anyone would even know yet, let alone come looking once they did."
His frown smoothes as he shakes his head, like I spoke utter nonsense. "You do realise Midoryia will definitely come looking. Ochako will follow him, and not to mention the Class Rep as well in all likelihood. And if all three of them are overheard by the others… Well the whole class will likely be involved. You didn't foresee that?"
I put my head in my hands. "God dammit."
"I get the sense you under-estimate how well liked you are, Alex. Like… A lot." He sips his coffee and I chuckle at his dry words. It sounds like a compliment, but also a slight slap in the face. I'm well liked, but damn was I stupid for not seeing it. He continues. "I can tell them not to look for you, if that's what you would prefer?"
"Please." I nod, lowering my hands. "I just need time to think. Time to… To decide what it is I'm meant to do."
"Meant to do?" He turns on the bench to properly face me. "Can I ask what happened with Mr Aizawa? Did he hurt you somehow?"
I know I'm not imagining that edge of anger. Don't go punching your teacher, Todoroki.
I shake my head. "Not physically. It's not like he suddenly became abusive."
"So he did hurt you, but emotionally? Mentally?"
"Why is it you need to know?" I ask, not intending my own edge of anger. He winces, hand curling into a fist. I hesitate, but reach to put my hand on his arm. "I appreciate the concern, but you really needn't trouble yourself."
At this he looks quite angry, though I can't claim to know where the anger is aimed.
"I'm already troubled by it." He looks at my hand and I'm about to retract it when he lays his on top. "Like I said, you're well liked."
"Uh… Th-Thanks."
His grip on my hand tightens slightly and he tilts his head. "Where did you sleep? Are you cold?"
I can already feel his skin warming a little, just in case.
I smile. "I'm fine."
"Not what I asked."
I roll my eyes. "I found a dry spot, and I've warmed up plenty since being in here. Satisfy you?"
He gives a curt nod and retracts his hands, my eyes tracing the way his flex before he rests them against the table. His mind is churning over something, mismatched eyes busy as he tries to figure something out. I sip my drink and let him consider his words, clearly he's working towards something. I still think he's mad for even being out here, but clearly the guy isn't keen on listening to that. He cares. I can accept that.
The street is starting to wake up outside. Deliveries are being made, and taxi drivers are getting their breakfasts to go from the main counter. A few bin men grab coffees and I'm sure a few police as well. No one looks at us. They might have looked at a lone girl, but with Todoroki sitting here, it could simply be a long running study session. In more ways than one, he had made my morning easier.
He picks at his napkin, small pieces tearing away. "Alex, I… I want to tell you something. But it isn't meant to be manipulative. Can you trust that?"
"Of course."
His hands still. "I'm glad you can be so sure of me."
"You've not given me reason to doubt you."
"No? Not too 'ego-centric'?" He smirks.
I pinch his arm. "Don't go ruining it by being a dick now."
I earn a half laugh. "Sorry. So I wanted to tell you that I uh… I like you."
That was an awful lot of build up to nothing.
He glances at me and seems confused by my lack of reaction.
I tilt my head. "I like you too, is this your awkward way of asking if we're proper friends?"
"Uh… Right. Yeah. Is that okay?" He's blushing and avoiding my eye now, but the guy seems to struggle with basic social aspects, so I'll not bother reading into it. The fact he was being so formal still astounds me. Had he never known casual friendship before? Poor guy's been really messed up by Endeavour. One day, I'm gonna extinguish that fucking beard properly. Or make a flame go up his nose. Or both. Both is good.
I smile broadly, glad to have reason to. "Sounds good to me."
"So we're friends." He wears a soft smile, the corners of his lips turning slightly upwards. "Glad to know."
"I'd have already thought that was clear, judging from the fact you wandered around the city for so long simply to find me." I laugh and nudge him. "You really shouldn't have done that."
"I was worried."
"You're an odd one, Todoroki, but in the best way."
"Thanks." He nudges me back. "I guess you could call me Shoto, then? As we're friends properly now?"
"Mind if I shorten it to Sho? Shoto is a little too close to Shouta for my liking right now. And even if I did go back, it'd still be weird. Is that all right?" I bite my lip as his blush deepens and his jaw goes tight. Damn, he hates it. Of course he hates it, he's so formal and well mannered that he–
"I've never had a nickname before." He smiles properly for a moment, before snorting and rolling his eyes. "Well… Other than Bakugo's weird attempts."
"Yeah, Icy-Hot isn't all that catchy." We laugh together and a refill of coffee comes round, the waitress winks at me on her way past. I shrink into my hoody. I hope that wasn't a signal for her having recognised me.
Sho tugs on my sleeve, I look at him and find his lips pressed into a thin line. "I don't mean to nag about it but… I feel like I have to know. Alex, what did Mr Aizawa do?"
I slowly nod. Sho had a right to know, he'd been so worried he wandered the streets simply to get a trace of my whereabouts. The least I could do was reassure him that Shouta hadn't become a monster. It would be for Shouta's sake too. He was an ass, but he didn't deserve Sho's anger. Not really. The idea of Sho picking a fight in the school seems far-fetched initially, but the way his eyes hardened on Shouta's name… perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe once you're beyond the cold demeanour, you find Sho's fire. And I guess that could mean a temper. Oh dear. I need to explain, even if only to allow some understanding. Time to try out that intention of sharing…
I lick my lips. "Remember the kid Midoryia fought in the festival? With the purple hair?"
"Hitoshi something? Mindwash quirk?"
"Yeah, the mind control guy. Shouta asked him to… Well he got him to…" I put my head against the table and grumble. "Long story short I was forced to speak some ugly truths. I was a dumbass, I worried Shouta and… And he felt forced to make me speak the truth."
"Ugly truths." Sho repeats before taking another sip of his drink. "So you're upset that Mr Aizawa went that far?"
"Pretty much. When he first took me in, he promised no collars…" I pick up on the confusion from my friend. "Uh like… Shouta never intended me to feel owned when he took me in. Like no cages, or leashes or–"
"Right, didn't want you feeling like a stray animal." Sho nods, and I'm very grateful he's so perceptive or else I'd talk myself into countless corners.
"Right. But when he started asking those questions… He basically showed that he had never believed a word I said to him about my past. Like he'd always been expecting this, and like he had the right to know everything then and there–"
I stop and wait for my heart to calm down. Yeah, the anger is still there, simmering under the surface. Time. Time will help. At least I hope it will.
I sniff. "It felt like he was claiming my story. It's kinda the only thing that's ever been mine."
Sho is quiet for the next few minutes, thinking loudly and sipping his drink. I have no idea how long we've sat here, but his jacket is starting to dry. More cars are passing the big windows, and the door is ringing it's bell more often. Another normal day.
When the silence starts to gnaw on my nerves I nudge Sho again. "Don't say anything to him, will you? I don't know what I want to do yet."
"I won't tell him I found you, or rather, I won't tell him where I found you. He might over-hear me telling the class about your wishes not to be looked for though. If that happens I'll just evade answering. I know how to avoid Hitoshi's quirk."
"He won't ask the kid for more help."
Sho raises a brow. "You think so?"
"Despite getting what he wanted, I know Shouta will be disgusted with himself." I lean back in the chair and note the added confusion in those mis-matched eyes. In a way, Sho's kinda beautiful. I wonder if he knows that. "What he did was a bastard thing, yes. But it was genuinely based in concern. When I said I had been a dumbass, I wasn't kidding."
"What did you do to deserve being mind-controlled?" He leans back with me and sits shoulder to shoulder in the booth.
I pick at the hem of my hoody. "The festival incident with Shigaraki came with a warning."
Sho tenses.
I swallow hard. "A wa-warning about my family and friends being at risk."
Sho seems to turn to stone.
I keep going, not wanting Shouta to end up sounding like a villain. I was angry with him, but there was no reason for his students to lose faith. He is a good man. It was just a dumb mistake brought on by my own–like Nem always said, we're as bad as each other. Me leaving is as much about my anger at him, as it is about my own confusion.
"Shigaraki said the League would never stop till I was taken out of the equation. That they'd attack my friends and family till my power was no longer a threat."
"So when you said the roof…"
The room grows cold. I nod. "It was one thing after another. A while back, when heading for her car, Midnight got hurt. It was the League. I stumbled upon her in the Teacher's Lounge, the sofa was soaked in her blood. I–I knew they could have killed her. She only survived because the attack was only a warning. The start." I sniff and he leans in more, warm shoulder pushing against me. It helps. "Then Present Mic was next. It's why he's gonna be absent for a while. They got his throat."
"His throat? Damn."
I nod. "I just… I couldn't see another way. My family was being targeted, and I had no idea who would be next."
"Why not tell someone? I assume part of the problem and reason for the mind-control is that you kept this all secret?" He turns more towards me, leaning close till I can smell the coffee on his breath. He has vanilla in his.
I look at my lap. "I was stupid. I didn't want to tell because I didn't want Shouta or the others looking out for me when they should be looking out for themselves. I thought myself into a shitty corner, basically. So… So when I went to the roof just to think, after Mic got attacked... I saw the ground so far below and I–I thought how easy it would be to just save everyone."
"Shit." He breathes, ice lingering on his breath. Fear sparks in his eyes. Even now the selfishness of the roof's 'almost' stings my heart. I had been so close to hurting them all. My friends, my family. They would have been saved, yeah. But they would have also been destroyed. "So... Mr Aizawa stopped you?"
"No."
He flinches from my snapped retort.
I close my eyes. "I stopped myself." I grit my teeth. "Doing it would have just let Shigaraki win. I couldn't do that, not after denying him for so long. So I was gonna get down from the railing, I was gonna go back downstairs and pretend it never happened… But then Shouta came onto the roof. He saw me."
Sho gulps.
I put my hands over my face. "Fuck it was such a mess."
"I can… Well no, I can't imagine."
I sigh. "So that's why Shouta used Histoshi, okay? He… Shouta's not a bad guy, he was scared. Probably still is. He wanted to understand what had me so messed up. So he made me tell him about Shigaraki's threats. Until last night he didn't know a thing. Except that… that something took me onto that roof."
Sho sighs and when I chance another look at him, his head is laid back and his eyes are closed. The cold has withdrawn, and his breath no longer comes in white puffs. I guess he still occasionally slips with his power. Not the kind of thing I'd expect from a talented guy like him, but I guess even prodigies can get flustered.
I have to give him an out, no doubt this whole story has shattered any respect he had for me.
I lean over my coffee. "Fucking shameful, right?"
Sho jolts, looking at me wide-eyed. "What? No. Not at all, I was just trying to wrap my head around it. I didn't mean to make you feel ashamed, Alex. Of course not. No." He is definitely flustered. "I just… I didn't expect that. Sorry, not that–"
"Sho, breathe." I smile and pat his arm. He slowly sits back, face still bright red, and eyes clearly searching for a way to fix it. Not that there's anything to fix. I pat his arm again and shake my head. "It's alright if you thought that, but I believe you when you say you didn't. Okay?"
"Right…" He swallows hard. "You decided not to do it… So that means you're not gonna–"
"You're not being irresponsible by not dragging my arse into custody." I smile and watch his cheeks match the burn mark over his eye. "I'm fine now. Really."
"I'm starting to hate that word."
"You and Shouta." I snort and drain my coffee. "It was a stupid slip up, a moment of weakness. I wanted to fix it all right then and there, no logic to it, just panic. I don't often panic."
"Good." He breathes, closing his eyes for a second and taking a couple long breaths. "I'm so very glad you didn't give in. Seriously."
I'm kind of lost for words.
He focuses his eyes on me until I feel like he has a grip on my heart. He nods. "You're gonna be a great hero, Alex. I'm looking forward to competing with you."
My own face heats up. "Like I'll be anywhere near your level."
He rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything else. A comfortable silence settles around us and I watch the streets light with the sun. The puddles turn to gold. Steam rises from the basements of nearby cafes. The city yawns into a brand new day.
Sho finishes his coffee. "What're you going to do about the League?"
"They won't catch me."
"Not what I asked, but I guess you don't wanna lie either… Just… Be careful?"
I nod, wondering when the hell it was that he learned to read me so well. Here was me thinking I was the one studying him.
He stands, handing over the money before I can stop him. I'd let it go this time. It gives me another reason to come back, to one day repay him. For the conversation and the coffee. My head feels actually attached now, the world a bit easier to figure out.
He does up his jacket as it starts to softly rain, then he holds his hand out. "Good luck, Alex. I hope you feel you can come home soon. We'll miss you at school."
I grip his hand tightly, hoping he knows how much that means. "Me too."
^-^ so there we are, more of an interlude between big events I guess, or breathing space? Dunno. Anyway, I enjoyed exploring these fallout scenes, hope you enjoyed reading them! Thanks so much to everyone who has faved, followed and reviewed! I'll always respond with a shoutout below to reviews, I love chatting to readers, and it really does make my day/week! Anyway, cya soon ^-^
SHOUTOUTS:
Jerzu: So glad you liked the previous chapter! I was rather pleased with it myself, so I'm glad it worked for others as well. I loved writing the haircut bit, exploring those quieter moments has been so so much fun, and your feedback has made it clear there is a WANT for them from readers as well as me indulging myself haha. So thank you! I considered having her blank out during the Hitoshi moment, but to me, with her quirk being mentally based like his, I felt she would have SOME wiggle room. So I felt her being aware etc. could add to the scene, as well as make some sense ^-^ so I'm glad it added to the scene for you. Glad the running away made sense as well, it was one of the first scenes that occurred to me when cooking the idea tbh, so it's been there from the start! All Might, to me, seems more like he struggles to know when he's "allowed" to be personal with people. At least, that's how I interpret his character, certainly at this stage in the story. I hope the fallout scenes have quenched your curiosity on people's reactions haha! Also glad to know I was on the right wavelength for expectations to meet/subvert for people ^-^ As always, always, always, thank you so much for taking the time to comment. This site seems so quiet these days, so I truly appreciate your responses to chapters! Hope you enjoyed this one too, cya soon!
