Hello everyone! Time for another update!
Enjoy! Again more details which I do not know to be cannon etc, they are a mix of head cannon and things I've seen around about the internet in terms of images etc. they MIGHT be canon, I have no clue nor want to know. Warning applied.
ALEX POV
Shouta told me the class were meeting at the pool. It seemed like a good idea to appear before heading to the summer camp, no point in causing a ruckus on that day. I hold my bag close and shuffle closer. They're all chatting and laughing, enjoying their holiday time. Maybe I'll just be in the way? I sigh. I'm being silly. They'll be glad to see me. Yeah, I'm sure they will.
I'm glad Dad got me a school suit, all the girls are wearing theirs, it would have been super awkward if I wore my bik–
"Holy shit is that Alex?" Mina has amazing eyesight, I've barely come round the corner.
I give a meek wave to the now entirely staring class. "Hey guys…"
When I walked back into their group I expected them to give me the cold shoulder, the silent treatment, or worse to actively scold me. Instead, a wall of movement surges at me and whilst Kirishima grips my shoulders and grins, the rest throw questions.
Ura. "Why didn't you call me?"
Mina. "How'd you get the badass new scar?"
Bakugo. "Fuckin' finally ya dumbass! Don't think I'm letting this hypocritical shit slide! Now who's goin' it alone, huh?!"
Momo. "Did you sort things with Mr Aizawa?"
Kaminari. "Dude eat something!"
Jiro. "Shut the fuck up Kaminari! Alex don't leave us with Mr Aizawa like that again he became even more of a tool."
Iida. "How did you find the written exam? Have you taken it?"
Midoryia. "You're back in time for the summer camp. That's great!"
Kirishima. "You can't just ghost out on us like that! Don't do it again, got it?"
Mineta. "Man that suit makes your boo–"
I stopped listening.
But I'm stunned into silence; they missed me. They were worried. I hug them all, and pat Mineta's head. Bakugo punches my arm, and I jab him in the kidneys. Kirishima swings me round in a circle. I do my best, and do in fact manage to keep the tears at bay. My friends, I never should have doubted them.
"Be careful!" Iida scolds. "We are near a pool, remember. The surface could be slippery!"
Ura taps my arm as the group disperses back to what they were doing before. She smiles. "Thank goodness you're back, Mr Aizawa's been in such a bad mood since you left."
I bit my lip. "Sorry about that. Not my intention."
She hesitates, but then pulls me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry I was weird at the mall. I–"
"Don't be daft." I hug tighter. "We're good, yeah?"
She sniffs. "Yeah!"
"Right then, no more tears, let's have some fun."
She grins and leads me to where the girls had been sorting themselves into teams for some volleyball. It seems like the boys are more focused on actual training. I've got plenty of work to be doing, and a small part of me wonders if I should sneak over to the boys instead. But no, dor now, I'll simply play. I have plenty time to hit the training grounds later. Not to mention camp.
As Momo explains rules I note Sho staring, I give a small wave and he returns it, before promptly returning to his conversation with Iida and Midoryia. I think he's glad to see me, though he was absent from the welcome party. I wonder why…
The water is perfect. The girls laugh, we play, we talk. They've all been great, they had helpful internships and fascinating mentors. Tsu especially had some excitement, and Jiro as well. Both had up close and personal experiences with villains. I guess I missed out on quite the experience.
Everyone takes a break for some orange juice, courtesy of Iida's foresight. Perfect. I find an empty cooler when looking for my own, but turn to one being held out by Sho, frost maintained all over the can. I grin and take it, noting how Midoryia and Iida have appeared over his shoulder.
Midoryia edges closer to me. "Uh… Alex?"
"Mm?"
"Can I ask you something about um… recent events? Though not the mall recent but um still recent."
I blink and look across the three of them again. Oh right. Of course. Hosu. I had planned to ask them about what happened after I left, but now the tone has dipped into the awkward realms and I find my tongue stalled. Did they not want to talk about it? Was it too harrowing for them to look back on?
I nod slowly and we move to the side of the pool area. "Of course guys, ask me anything you like. I was uhm… planning on asking you guys something too? Probably the same thing?"
Midoryia blushes. "Yeah, we uh… Well I don't think anyone else knows you were there that night, not officially, so we figured we should fill you in. The uh… Well, we're not meant to–"
"I saw that Endeavour got the credit, so I figured some legal bullshit went down?" I raise a brow, trying to help my nervous friend out. Give the man something to fight for and he's all focus and determination. Give him a subject to talk about without that immediate pressure? He's all blush. In a way, I kinda hope that never changes.
Sho smirks, Midoryia continues to blush brighter somehow and Iida shakes his head.
Iida sighs. "Delicately put as ever, Alex. But yes. Legal steps have been taken, and we are under strict orders to remain secretive about what occurred that evening. Todoroki was kind enough to confirm to me and Midoryia that you were present in the alley. We had our suspicions, but he confirmed."
I nudge Sho.
He dips his head. "I mentioned that you might have been."
"So is this me being told to stay shushed as well?"
They all nod, though Iida and Midoryia rather more.
Sho traces the tiling with a toe. "As far as anyone is to know, my Father saved the day."
"Shithead will have eaten that up no doubt." I rock back on my heels, sticking my tongue out at Iida's double-take. "Fine, I'll say nothing. You all doing okay though? It was pretty intense."
Iida nods, adjusting his goggles without needing to. "Indeed, I believe we are all well recovered. My arms remain a little stiff, but my physio goes well, thank you." He then clears his throat. "I would also like to thank you for your efforts."
I blink as he grows more agitated.
Midoryia is nodding again. "You really helped us out, Alex. I wasn't sure at the time but yeah… Once Todoroki mentioned seeing you, I realised that none of us lost as much blood as we would have without your help. You really–"
I hold up my hands. "Whoa, guys calm down. I was just in the right place at the right time."
Sho raises a brow. "Yes but you needn't have got involved. Just accept the thanks, Alex. We're not taking it back."
I roll my eyes. "Okay, okay. Accepted. Bunch of kiss-asses."
Iida bows. "I also apologise for the terrible manner in which you saw me act Alex, I will seek to repair the damage I have done to–"
"Iida you are hardly helping the whole 'keep things under wraps' situation." I take note of a third of the class now looking at us in confusion.
Iida starts flapping his arms around, speaking far too loudly. "It is a good moment to have you reunited with us Alex, the class scenario is now returned to normal!"
They all quickly lose interest and I chuckle with Midoryia and Sho. Iida knew how to cover his tracks at least.
"I'm just glad you seem back to your normal self, Iida. How's your brother doing?"
"He'll soon be released from the Hospital to rest at home, thank you."
I smile. "Good. You taking his name still?"
"Indeed, though I seek to now live up to it after my–"
"Shut up." I wave my hands. "You are, despite the mannerisms of being middle-aged, a teenager. You got twisted up, I of all people can understand that. Just… be kind to yourself and give yourself time."
He nods and takes his leave, going over to no doubt lecture Kaminari and Mineta on their ongoing ogling session at the girls whom have enjoyed a few minutes of sun-bathing. Normality. It's surrounding me with every moment, and I feel an ache deep in my chest as I realise how much I'd missed my class. Except Mineta. Duh. But the rest, I hadn't realised how much they had become parts of my day-to-day.
Midoryia kneads his crooked hand. "So are you back properly, Alex? As in, back to school and everything? Will you be coming to camp?"
"Yes, yes and yes." I grin at his excited look, if anyone could make me feel welcome, it was that freckled wonder. I ruffle his hair. "Looking forward to training with everyone again. No doubt you're chomping at the bit for extra training time."
He grins and then jolts when Ura calls him over. The tell-tale blush takes hold before he moves away, my wink not going unnoticed by Ura as she soon matches Midoryia's pink shade. I look back to Sho and find his eyes glued to my shoulder. My scarred shoulder. I put a hand there, budging him from whatever train of thought had him so engrossed.
I tilt my head. "Enjoying the view?"
He frowns. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare."
"It's fine, it's pretty fucking gross."
He shakes his head. "Not at all. I was just…"
I wait, his awkward nature having apparently not changed at all. Again, the familiarity is welcomed. But seeing Sho again… Dabi's words echo in the back of my mind. Should I tell Sho about that potential connection? But what if it isn't even true? Dammit. This isn't easy.
His eyes linger on my shoulder again, a faint blush appearing. "No one else except Midoryia really has scars. They don't really get it."
Dabi fades from my mind. Right now, I can't confirm a damn thing. So for now, I won't stir up unnecessary trouble for my friend.
I resist the urge to reach out and touch his scarring, instead I just lift his hair slightly from that side of his face with my power. "You're not telling me a pretty-boy like you is feeling self-conscious?"
Not to mention the fact that there was no way anyone was looking at his face when that body was on display. What little was revealed at the Sports Festival had nothing on this. I don't mean to objectify but my god, I can't help but consider how much harder I should be training. The guy looks carved from marble.
He scratches the back of his neck. "I just wondered how you feel about being so exposed in a situation like this. You seem calm enough, but I know you're a decent con-artist too when it comes to your emotions."
I release his hair. "Damn, you're getting wise to me."
"I like to think so." He smirks.
I shrug. "They all know I have the scarring, hell they saw me get them." I then let my fingers slip under my suit strap, tracing a jagged line where one of my back scars sneaked towards my shoulder. "But I'll admit I'm glad to have this full suit to cover some other ones."
He runs a hand through his hair, shifting it back in front of his own scar. "Other ones?"
"Let's just say my past with Shigaraki left a few reminders. Plus the scarring from the streets, a couple of knife encounters gone wrong and a car window being smashed at the wrong moment, not to mention the bullet-wound from when me and Shouta met." I put my hands behind my head, blowing my cheeks out as I list things off. I sound like a manual for how not to preserve your skin.
He's staring. I said too much.
I cringe. "Sorry. Over-share. Just figured it might make you feel better if I–"
"Once again I feel like such an idiot." He sighs, closing his eyes. "I'm moaning about this thing and you're–"
"Stop comparing." I flick his forehead and Mina cracks up from where she's still lying with the girls. No doubt I'll be grilled on what I've been talking to Sho about, Mina was born to be nosy.
Sho rubs the spot I hit.
I keep going. "You're allowed to feel self-conscious Sho, seriously. Just because I have little capacity to care anymore, doesn't mean you can't. I never want you to feel you're not entitled to feel things just because I might technically have felt worse."
"Technically?" His brows disappear under his hair. "Alex you're beyond weird."
I throw my hands up. "Well done, gold star, you fucking noticed!"
"Language!" Iida snaps and I flip the bird at him for good measure. A couple other students crack up and gather for more fun in the pool.
I lower my hands and smile at Sho who looks marginally less confused. "We all have different stuff to deal with Sho, how about we just agree to help each other deal however we can, whenever we can?"
"Sounds… Sounds good." He nods. "By the way, how're things with you and Mr Aizawa?"
"We're… We're good." I look at my feet, wiggling my toes. "We both messed up, and we're both gonna work hard to repair the damage but… At the end of the day he's still a good guy. He's still…"
"Still, your Dad?"
I hum, cheeks feeling warm. "Yeah."
Sho nudges my foot with his, bringing my attention back to him. He tilts his head. "Glad to hear it."
"Yeah? Don't think I'm being a pushover?"
He snorts. "Not sure that term would ever suit you."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"You should. Plus, I think you have a pretty healthy relationship with him. You guys seem to actually talk… well… most of the time." He rolls his eyes and holds a hand out to shake. "Glad to have you back, Alex."
I take his hand, holding firm. "Glad to be back, Sho."
Then we part, heading to our respective groups.
It was all about to kick off again before suddenly the proverbial storm cloud of Shouta appeared. Time to close the pool. Time for home.
"Ready to go?" Shouta passes me my towel and I roughly dry my hair.
"Yeah, sounds good."
"I know you were wanting to chat to All Might sooner rather than later, so it might interest you to know he's in his office."
I peek from under the towel. "But it's not school time?"
"He likes to stay busy when he can't be doing Hero work." Shouta shrugs. "I'll need to double check the pool's been closed properly, so I can just meet you by the car?"
"Sounds perfect." I nod and then sling on my joggers and hoody. I pause before leaving though, jogging after him and tapping his shoulder. "Thanks for today, Dad. I think I needed this."
He nods. "Was good to see you with them again, even if they are especially noisy with you around."
I shove him towards the pool and turn to make for All Might's office. The school is empty, my steps echoing up the stairs. I'd missed a lot, and had to sit my written exams the day before the pool, squeezing them in on the kindness of the faculty. My physical part of the exam was being 'evaluated' apparently. I had no idea what the hell that meant, but I know I'll catch up. I have a teacher at home after all.
My meeting with the Principal had already happened. There had been pressing matters to attend to; mainly, my telling off. He gave his version of a scolding which was a very long-winded and confusing speech, and then announced my reinstatement as a student. Simply a formality as I already knew I was back on the course, but I think he likes to feel important. I'm afraid I still don't trust him after the Festival incident. Using me as a mascot never got anyone into my good books. And he gave Shouta permission for the Hitoshi incident, and it's not like he was in an emotional state like Dad. He was cold and calculating, probably only saw it as a risk assessment. The Principal… Nah, not my favourite.
Not that I could claim to be in anyone else's good books; namely a tall dark-haired beauty and the blonde loud ray of energy always at her side. My fourth morning back home, a knock rapped on the door of the apartment and before I even had the door properly open a flash of black hair and then long blonde hair had smothered me. Sandwiched between Nemuri and Hizashi, I patted their arms as I literally couldn't move otherwise.
Nemuri squeezed. "You stupid girl, how dare you not call once. Do you have any idea how messy Shouta got without you here? Ugh don't you spook out on us again, y'hear?" She kissed my head. I patted her arm again and finally was allowed to take a full breath.
"Sorry Nem."
"What about me, girl? I missed you too!"
"Sorry Hiz." I chuckled and he blew a raspberry against my forehead. I would always be ten to those two. A small part of me almost hopes that's the case actually. Hizashi's throat has healed well and he can tentatively use his quirk again. Even now, heading for All Might's office a couple days later, I can't help but smile. They really are my family. And they really don't see me as a burden. Perhaps I should start keeping that in mind, hm?
My steps slow as I approach All Might's office door. I had been actively avoiding thinking about it too much in case I lost my nerve. All Might would likely be angry. Or would it be worse than that? Would he be disappointed? Oh god, please no.
My hand shakes as I knock.
"Who is it?"
"Alex."
"Come in." He calls, voice softening to his withered form.
In front of me there was no need for the full form. I'm glad I still have that much of his trust. That's encouraging. I slink inside and close the door. Then I stall facing it, biting my lip. Why am I so nervous? Oh right, because I sassed him and peaced out. I likely made him feel totally accountable for my disappearance. I used him. Fuck sake.
"You planning on staying over there the whole time?" His chair creaks as he stands up, and I finally manage to turn myself around, eyes on the floor. "Up here, kiddo."
"I'm so sorry." I breathe, nails biting into my palms. "I was such a–"
"Kid." He chuckles, and when I finally manage to look up, he's smiling. Not in the bravado sense, but in the forgiving one. Damn I don't deserve these people.
"But–"
"You were upset and angry. As a kid you shouldn't have to think beyond that. I'll admit that had I known the full circumstances at the time, I'd have never let you go but…" he scratches the back of his head, big blonde hair ruffling. "We're good."
Only then do I realise what he means. Full circumstances. Oh.
I swallow. "Shouta told you about the roof?"
"He explained why he had pushed so hard, yes. Me and Midnight were giving him quite a hard time. So I think he possibly said it to settle our minds, and partially to get Midnight to calm down." He shakes his head, before beckoning me closer. "Please don't look so ashamed."
"Can't help it..."
"Well you shouldn't be." He shrugs. "But I should say this before going any further. Being a hero does not mean you have to work alone."
He holds my shoulders firmly, even his withered form is far from weak. I nod slowly, knowing I won't be able to even guess at the worry my outburst had caused. I had a lot to make up for. I had a lot of trust to re-earn. Frankly, like Bakugo said down by the pool, I had also been a massive hypocrite. What was it I said to Bakugo in class? You don't have to act alone. Way to be a double standard Alex. It feels like so long ago that all happened, but I said it and went acted entirely on my own. Idiot.
I sigh. "It was a stupid mistake. I'll work to make up for it, from now on."
"No need for vows, I just wanted to see you, to check how you were doing now that you're back. Aizawa mentioned some injuries?" He releases me and I explain my few scrapes. He looks worried, but I assure him Recovery Girl had given me a look over. And a telling off.
"She's scary to everyone." He laughs, and I can't help but join in.
"Absolutely." I tilt my head. "So, looking forward to the Summer Camp?"
"Unfortunately I won't be attending. Something you may well understand better than others, but I have quite the target on my back, and don't wish to draw any unwanted attention to the camp."
"Oh." I hadn't thought of that. "So maybe I shouldn't–"
"Not the same thing, Alex." He holds up a hand. "For one thing, and perhaps the most important, this is not your responsibility to fix. We know of the threat towards you and your loved ones now. We're prepared for that. All right? We pros do have a few ideas on how to protect people."
I blush. "Of course."
"I'm sure you'll have a great time at the camp, a good opportunity to get back into things with your class. Though from the sounds of it, the pool went well?"
I grin. "Y-Yeah it did. They seem to have really missed me."
"No doubt."
I nod and glance over my shoulder to the door. A lightbulb appears in my mind. "Say… All Might? Do you happen to know anything about what my physical–"
"The teachers are still debating what should be done." He chuckles. "Sorry kid, I have no inside information. But considering how well you passed the written aspect, and performed on the field for real at the USJ, a few of us are tempted to allow you to pass anyway. The Principal however is keen to still put you through your paces." All Might returns to his seat. "I can't say I agreed at first, but I can understand his perspective. We're already under a lot of scrutiny now that the media know about you and Aizawa. So really–"
"I'll do whatever it takes." I stand straight. "If it's an extra test, another written aspect, both, or something else on top. I've acted rashly and should pay a price."
"You sound so much like young Midoryia." All Might laughs. "He was so very worried about you. They all were. You do understand that, don't you?"
"Yeah, I think I'm starting to appreciate it."
"Good." He then tilts his head. "I assume they've spoken to you about the Hosu incident?"
I pretend to do up a zip along my lips. He grins and gives me a thumbs up.
Slowly and surely I am rebuilding bridges.
DABI POV
"Look is she on the list or not you god-damn freak?" Dabi demanded, sipping his drink and holding the glass out for a refill. The portal guy kept insisting he wasn't a barman, but he kept standing there as if awaiting an order. Dabi didn't want the guy to get bored.
Shigaraki waved an impatient hand. "What does it matter to you? The full plan will be explained before you go to the cam–"
"Answer the question. If I'm heading in on this plan, I wanna know what I'm expected to do."
"If?" Shigaraki lowered his hand and tilted his head.
Dabi leaned back from the inane staring. Shigaraki got under his skin, unnerved him. Likely why the Freak had made such a splash, but that didn't mean Dabi had to like it. It didn't help having to linger on the idea of Alex being stuck living with the Freak for years either. Regardless of his own weird, tangled situation with her, no one deserved that kinda company.
Shigaraki stood. "If?"
Dabi rolled his eyes. "Look, I ain't exactly signed a contract. I'm here because I wanna be."
"Oh really? My, my, what an honour it is." Shigaraki threw his arms out. "Hear that guys? We should be honoured to even have this patchwork asshole in our presence!"
Dabi swirled his drink. "Not what I said, asshole. Now spill."
Shigaraki sighed and slumped back into his chair. "Whatever. She's on the list."
"Right." Dabi set the glass down, failing to take his sip. Alex. On the list of people to get hold of at this stupid camp thing. He might have to grab her, take her away from her new life, throw her back into this Freak's path. Could he do that? Yeah. He could. But should he?
Shigaraki scratched loudly. "Why? Seen the footage of the USJ and got scared of a little girl?"
Like Dabi needed the footage. He knew full well what Alex could achieve, and he meant it when he said he didn't want to face her on the field. For one thing, he didn't like the idea of having to hurt her. For another, she'd probably kick his ass unless he got the drop on her, or had something to use against her. That would be key. But what to use? He didn't want to hurt her, but like he always said, the world was turning. He had to make choices and stick to them. There had to be a way forward. It had been a long time since their paths went in opposite directions, now he had to stick to his.
He clicked his tongue. "I just don't like vague orders."
Shigaraki laughed. "Collect Katsuki Bakugo and Alex from the camp, kill Izuku Midoryia if you can and feel free to remove any other obstacles." He threw his hands up, chapped lips on a broad grin. "Clear enough?"
"It is now, yeah. Why did you keep pussy-footing around the damn point, ya freak?" Dabi drained the other drink, ignoring how the weird knife girl giggled at his words.
They were all deranged, but he had no where else to go. This place might lead somewhere. At last. Then again, could he really claim not to be deranged these days? Nostalgia kept Alex rooting for him, nothing else. She'd notice that soon enough. A final bridge burned.
Shigaraki sighed. "There was a suggestion made you might be soft on her."
"Fuck off. You gonna be soft on her since she kicked your ass? How many times has she beat you–"
The hand hovered less than an inch from Dabi's face. "Push me too far friend and I might just slip."
"Whatever." Dabi kicked his stool back and went to lounge in one of the many booths.
Get in. Grab the kids. Get out. But make it a 'statement' as well.
Dabi felt the heat crackling under his scarred skin. A statement would be easy enough. The damn school was digging its own grave. The leak… they had no idea. Everything laid on a plate, waiting to be claimed. He hung his head back and sighed. A small part of him, curled at the bottom of his scorched heart, hoped Alex might see reason. Heroes were finished. Their world was built to topple. Time to accept what she was, a street rat, built for the shadows. If she worked with them, they would be unstoppable. A quick pinch to someone's heart, make their eyes explode, hell she could make someone suffocate without even looking at them. But the hero code held her back. It would always hold her back.
He lit a cigarette and watched the smoke curl against the stained ceiling.
If he had to kill her, could he? The little kid shoving him back with hands and quirk alike, the girl who begrudgingly held rain off him when he got sick that time. Her dark hair all tangled and matted till he cut it for her, bringing about the first smile he saw her wear. He took a long drag. Her melodic laughter mixing with the laughter of his siblings, his family, dammit… Nostalgia. It was a bitch.
ALEX POV
My bag lies half empty and I'm fairly sure I'm doing this wrong. I tilt my head and look at the small pile of clothes and toiletries. What else would I need?
"The list is on your desk, dumbass." Dad drawls from the living room, apparently noticing my sudden silence and lack of movement.
I grab the note and read it as it hovers in front of me. Oh. Pajamas, good call. Swim suit? Okay fair enough, taking the school one again. Oh… it says thermal baths… bikini might be better then, I guess. Are the girls and boys going to be using separate baths? I kinda hope so. Oh shit, towel…
It's safe to say I had not packed properly, and Shouta wore a smug grin as I came back through and dumped a well stuffed bag by the door.
He put his feet on the table. "Ready to go?"
"Think so. Gonna be weird staying with my classmates though, it'll be the longest I've ever spent with them." I'd never done sleepovers, hell I hadn't even really hung out with anyone outside of class. Except maybe Sho. If that counted. "It's gonna be you and that Vlad guy, right?"
He nods. "And the Pussy Cat lot. Though I sincerely hope they're not intending to be too noisy the whole time."
"Once we're settled, probably not. Too shiny."
He grins. "Good point." He tosses me his phone, already on the take out app. He knows me too well. No doubt camp will be all about nutrition. I order us some pizza and then go over to his sofa to flick through the film options. I pick a couple for him to choose from.
He slings an arm round my shoulder and pulls me back, the film question remaining unanswered whilst his own question is clear in his frown. I wait. The wording is still making him purse his lips. I wait a little longer, but then nudge his ribs when we hit the minute mark.
He sighs. "I gotta ask, okay? This… This isn't another trust thing, but we got some new footage of the Hero Killer fight and–"
"Ah. Right."
I had wondered if this would come up. It wasn't that I had actively hidden my involvement at Hosu from Shouta but at the same time wasn't sure how relevant it was. Sho had kept my appearance hidden, I didn't want to land him in trouble as well.
Apparently my response has given him all the confirmation he needs.
Dad ruffles my hair. "Hizashi owes me a crate of beer."
I blink. "You knew I was there?"
"Even without the footage I was suspicious, kid. The injuries those idiots sustained should have had at least one of them on the ground asleep, the fact they hadn't meant something slowed the bleeding." He gives my shoulder a squeeze. "How was it? Being in a support role?"
If I'm not mistaken, and I don't think I am, he's a little proud.
"It was weird. But I'd had to kinda um… dodge a Nomu earlier so my power was a bit… strained... "
He frowns.
I shake my head. "I wasn't looking for trouble, I was trying to avoid it. Big Fucker came out of nowhere and I had to throw it, or be squished. Literally all I did but yeah… it wore on my power so all I could do in the Stain fight was stop some bleeds."
"You probably saved their lives."
"I dunno about that, but it was good to know I could help, even without actively fighting." I smile and he hums, an unsaid 'told you so' humming in the air. He always said I could do great things as a support hero; the spotlight wasn't something I was sure of initially, when we looked over the applications for school. But support is a legit role. More often than not Nemuri is brought in for those purposes, assisting with her quirk to suppress a situation. I should talk to her about all this.
But of course… now I'm thinking of it, that was the same night I missed my golden opportunity. I turn and hug Dad round his middle and my fingers graze his scarred elbow. He stays still, but I know he's watching me, no doubt he knows I have more to say. I guess we speak a lot without words, me and Dad. I suppose that's kinda cool.
I detangle myself, clasping my hands. Shame gurgles at the back of my throat. "I… That night I…"
"Big breath, kid. Take your time."
I nod, letting the seconds pass by, knowing he's happy to wait. This isn't a test, this is Dad. He'll listen. I know he will. I. Am. Not. A. Burden.
"I was on the roofs you see, the water towers in Hosu make for good sleeping spots." I swallow hard. "So when things started kicking off, I saw Shigaraki and the portal guy." I sniff and the words start to tumble. "They were right there. I could have so easily gone over and dealt with Shigaraki. I know I should have, I should have done it there and then, but I remembered you saying he was gonna kill me in the USJ and I got freaked. It was uneven ground. Or am I just making excuses? Ah shit I dunno. But I let him go and I'm sorr–"
He holds a hand up.
I close my mouth.
The words hang between us, the clock in the kitchen ticks loudly, too loudly. I watch him process what I said, dark eyes scanning the room but seeing nothing. He's thinking. He's thinking really loudly. Is it the situation he is unsure of? Or how to voice his reaction? Shit, did I really do the wrong thing? Shouta, fucking speak!
"Don't go making me obsolete by figuring all this shit out alone." He smirks and I blink, tilting my head. He snorts. "Don't look so surprised. You did good, Alex. Really good."
"I… did? By letting the villain currently hanging over us… live?"
"Look, it's not our place to kill." He runs a hand through his hair, shaggy bits falling in front of his eyes. "It's tempting, of course. When the rage at the system gets too much and you see the same piece of shit ruining someone's life in a back alley for the fourth time. You wanna end it, you wanna put your own full stop on that thug's list of crimes…" he sighs. "But you can't."
It was all too easy to imagine Dad standing above an alley, perched on top of a building, seeing the filth of the city over and over. Same faces, same crimes, but all he can do is apprehend and hand them over. Like bad pennies, they kept coming back. How often had he wanted to be their full stop?
I tug on his jumper sleeve. "You ever given in?"
"Nearly. A couple of times."
I'm shocked. I go very still and do my best, but it's also easy to imagine the rage filling him. The fury in his eyes, like it had been in the USJ as he saw me being hurt. A fire.
He takes firm hold of my hand. "You judging this old man?"
I shake my head and hold tighter. "No, just… wish I couldn't imagine it so easily."
He hums. "Being a moody bastard has its perks."
I shake my head. "No, because you care so much. What… What nearly drove you to killing?"
He considers me carefully, dark eyes seeming to look through me as well as at me. He's my Dad, I love and respect him, but in these quiet moments I realise how little I know. His past. His dreams. His fears. I've never picked his brain like this before, I don't even know if he wants to share this stuff with me. Like he's my Dad, I'm his daughter. Does he want me to know?
I open my mouth to take it back, but he just taps my chin and I stay quiet.
"I think the least you deserve is some frankness from me, hm?"
I bite my lip. "Don't feel you have to…"
"I don't. I guess in a way… Sharing this stuff might help you. I dunno how, but let's not linger on everything I don't know." He snorts and draws a deep breath, letting his head hang back against the sofa. "Remember when I mentioned losing a friend?"
I nod, recalling the pain in his voice.
Dad clears his throat. "After he was gone, nothing made sense, the world or the damn system. Why was I alive, a powerless weakling, when someone like him, a great hero waiting to happen, was dead?"
I'm probably holding his hand too tightly. "How could you think… Dad your power is–"
"I've worked hard to make it what it is."
I close my mouth.
He smirks. "I was a kid, Alex. I had just as many inferiority complexes as you do." He prods between my brows and I feel my cheeks burn. I can't deny that one. "It was about a month after his death, and I came across a thug for the second time within a week… That was the closest call."
"So… So how did you not do it?"
He looks at the ceiling. "I remembered why I, and my friend, wanted to be heros."
"W-Why?"
"Because, despite it being busted, we wanted to believe in the system, to be the change it needed. To make the right kind of difference. A lasting one rather than a passing one. Right?" He wears such a weary smile, looking somehow older and younger simultaneously.
I'd never considered the system my friend. I stumbled between it's blind spots for so long. Yet truth rings in his words; in those moments I stared at the big screens in the main square, or made Dabi stay close to keep me warm as I watched another newsreel of All Might's successes. Because knowing someone like that was out there helped. And with my power… I could do that. I could be the reason some kid stops to stare, to smile, to maybe sleep a little better. Be it on the street or in a bed listening to their parents screaming at each other again. There's light in the world. Remember that in the darkness.
Dad squeezes my hand. "You did good to not give in, Alex. I know how hard that will have been. Especially with your power… You could kill very easily."
I close my eyes, knowing so much about the body for medical aid also meant I knew exactly where to attack. It has helped knock people out so far. But I could go further. I could detach a spine quicker than someone could pull a trigger. I could tear open veins without breaking the skin. That's why I have to focus so hard. Ideas are dangerous in this head of mine.
"That's why Shigaraki wants hold of me and my power."
"And that's why we won't let him have his way." Dad pulls lightly and I crawl into his lap. He chuckles. "You are way too big for this now, fucking bony."
"Shut up." I laugh, tugging on his hair lightly. "You're one to talk."
"Yeah but it's part of my brooding aesthetic."
I laugh and he points to the third Film option. A black and white classic, typical.
Our world is mad, but at least we still have our bubble.
The pizza is perfect and the film familiar. I rest against his shoulder, knowing there was something else I wanted to ask, wracking my brain as the credits started to roll. What was it? Then I shift and the back my neck itches, the hair curling at the nape of my neck. That's it!
I run my hands through my hair. "Dad, before camp I–"
"I guessed you might be growing it out." He chuckles, already getting up and heading for the drawer where we keep the scissors and clippers. "You haven't asked for a cut since… Damn, before the USJ?"
"Could be that long, yeah." I follow, suddenly very aware of the annoying hair length. My hair doesn't grow quickly thankfully, but I hadn't realised it had been that long. It must look like a helmet.
He sets a stool down and passes me a towel to drape round my shoulders. "Usual madam?"
"Why yes, thank you boy." I grin and sit down with my towel cape.
He combs my hair gently, then starts to trim. In the early days I got so scared being at someone's mercy like this, but by now it's comforting, and especially this time, nostalgic. His fingers shift longer bits aside, and the buzz of the clippers sets him onto humming as usual. I never know what his tune is meant to be. Then again, I've also never asked. Guess it doesn't matter. I close my eyes. I bet I could fall asleep like this.
Shouta pauses. The clippers are still running but not against my head. I wait, but the pause continues. For thirty seconds he's just hesitating. Did he put t on the wrong setting and give me a bald patch?
I glance back, finding him frowning.
I flinch. "Did something go wrong? It's not the end of the world you know–"
"You have a white patch."
I blink, but he just keeps staring. The words make little sense. I run my fingers through but obviously a change in colour doesn't mean it's going to feel different. But I don't get it, white hair? I'm coming up on sixteen, not sixty.
Dad turns off the clippers. "I'd… It's.. I don't think it's natural. As in… I don't think you're just going grey prematurely."
"What do you…"
"It's a patch about the size of a bottle cap. It wasn't there last time I trimmed your hair." He picks up his phone. "Should I ask Recovery Girl?"
I get up. "Why? I don't get it, what do you think it means?"
He blinks, like he just realised I could hear him. He's panicking, so now I'm panicking. I start to shiver and he comes over to put an arm around me.
"Sorry kid, just being cautious." He dials, the phone rings, waiting for her to pick up. "You feel okay otherwise? Tired? Anything like that?"
"I feel good." I lean into him, mind reeling. White hair.
I do my best to not listen as he talks on the phone. Half a conversation is even worse for causing worry. He hangs up and sets me back on the stool, carrying on with the haircut.
"Nothing immediate to worry about."
I swallow hard. "But?"
He sighs. "But she thinks it'll be a side effect, from you overusing your power at the USJ."
The guilt enters his voice before I bet it landed in his eyes. I stay quiet, heart hammering. My power had caused that kind of damage? Maybe this is what Todoroki feels about his scar? Maybe. My classmates know I have scars, they've seen me get them and always known about my rough past. But this is new. I want to hide, to not show it for fear it makes me look weak. Does it? Or is it just another scar, no big deal? I don't know.
I pull the cape tighter. "How come it… Affected my hair?"
"She thinks… Maybe immediately before All Might arrived, when you were still trying to defend us with that bubble, that you'd pushed past a limit. That…"
His hands drop away from my hair.
I turn and hug him tight, refusing to let distance fester between us right now. Fuck that.
Dad sighs. "She wonders if your body was giving over something like life force."
I shiver. "Don't get it."
"She didn't want to be vague, but it's not something she's really seen before. But it's like your body had no strength left, so it was giving anything it could, your vitality being the best reserve." He runs his fingers through my hair, I don't bother pointing out how his hand shakes. My body was literally draining itself of life? Something like that… Dammit.
I hug tighter.
He keeps his fingers moving through my hair. "You gave more than everything."
"But I feel fine!"
"It's just something to keep in mind for your endurance." He breaks my hold and kneels, brushing some trimmed hairs from the end of my nose. "You'll be okay, I just wish you hadn't had to push so far." His voice is dropping to a whisper, hand falling away.
"W-Whatever. I'm glad I got to save you."
"Mm. Yeah." He looks undecided on something before he shakes his head and stands. "Let's get this hair trimmed so you can get some sleep before camp."
"Sure." I get back in place and listen to the clippers turning back on. "I'd do it again you know."
"Yeah, I know." He chuckles. "Probably what scares me most."
Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed! Thanks to everyone that's reviewed, shoutouts below, I love responding to you guys! And also thanks to everyone who has faved and followed!
See you soon, CAMP TIME!
SHOUTOUTS:
Zikashigaku: Ah thanks for letting me know, and thanks for reading Red Burning Wings! Sorry/not sorry about the feels haha. I hope you liked the ongoing down time and the moments with her and the class! I wanted there to be a bit of a breath before the camp stuff gets going - there's PLENTY ahead haha. And thanks so much for reviewing again, means a lot!
