After all the parties and not actually doing much work at all, it was a big struggle for me to get back into a routine after the New Year rolled around. Riley got called away for his first extended mission away from home on New Years Day. It'd been 2 weeks and I still wasn't used to coming home to an empty apartment. I'd spent a lot of time avoiding the empty apartment by hanging at Clint's and the occasional sleep over at Natasha's. Laura had ended up doing some completely insane hours at work due to a staff shortage. Having all of us home made it easier to run the kids around to their respective activities. Jared came and went, as he usually did. Unlike us he was getting more than his fair share of missions.

Clint had rode my ass hard about not only practicing my powers, but pushing my limits of it too. It wasn't just my ice powers he was pushing, he kept making me go invisible for longer and longer periods of time. As much as I hated to admit it. He was very right about using them getting stronger with use. I could summon what he'd dubbed my ice shield with barely any concentration now. My reflexes were getting quicker too. Natasha and Clint had both finally given me some throwing knives to practice with. I loved using them neatly as much as my AWSM. Much to Natasha's disgust I had perfectly good aim with them as well. After an angry foot stomp and a demand on wanting to know how I did it. I was forced to explain the maths that went on in my head while calculating a good shot. Natasha just looked at me like I'd grown another head while I tried to break it down. I gave up in the end and just smugly informed her it was about time I was better than her at something. She paid me back by throwing a knife into my boot just barely missing my toes. Lesson 397, don't torment Natasha. Ever.

It was a normal Wednesday morning. Until Coulson came and pulled all 3 of us out of the gym explaining we had something. It was local, only a 30 minute drive from the Triskelion so there was no need for a Quinjet. Instead we slogged through the shitty morning DC traffic until we got to one of the shadier sides of town. Or so Clint told me this wasn't a great area. We were armed to the teeth and all ready to go as we got out of the car eagerly.

The building was a pretty standard brick apartment building surrounded by much of the same. A small deli lay across the street. But other than that there wasn't anything to make the area stand out. The entire area was quiet as the other buildings had already been evacuated. The road blocks stretched back far enough there wouldn't be any nosy onlookers to see what was going on.

"What's the situation?" Coulson asked striding onto the scene.

The entire building was surrounded by a SWAT team. The moment the person who was holding hostages revealed themselves to have some sort of powers, SHIELD was called in. Clint, Natasha and I all started to suit up without waiting for anything from Coulson. Standard body armour, our favourite side arms and Clint snapped his retractable bow out. My sniper rifle was sitting in its case just begging to be used. I kept glancing to it while I zipped myself into the kevlar we'd been ordered to wear for this mission. I was nervous and excited at the same time. This was my first time dealing with a hostage situation, let alone one with a Gifted. I thought I'd be sitting this one out, but the second Coulson knew we were dealing with someone with powers I got to tag along as well.

"Male, early 30's," one of the SWAT guys strode forward and handed Coulson a tablet with some blurry images on it. "Seems to have some sort of energy weapon like we haven't ever seen before. No ID on him yet."

"What's his terms?" Clint spoke up as he slid his arm guards on.

"None that we know of," the SWAT guy shook his head. "So far he's taken 10 hostages and kept screaming for us to back off before he starts taking heads off. He's on the 5th floor, no clear view of him or the hostages."

"Great," Coulson tapped his fingers impatiently against the tablet before pulling out his radio. "I need a STRIKE team here now. Road blocks for 3 blocks at least. Keep it quiet, we don't need this one spooked."

Coulson didn't wait to hear a reply from the radio. I fitted my own earpiece into my ear and looked at Coulson expectedly for what to do next. He grabbed a megaphone from one of the SWAT guys and stood forward.

"I'm Agent Coulson from SHIELD," Coulson's voice rang out across the road. "To whom am I speaking with?"

There was tense silence for a good minute before a flutter of movement appeared in the 3rd window from the left on the 5th floor.

"What does SHIELD want?" a deep grumbling voice yelled back.

"To talk," Coulson replied carefully. "We know you have hostages up there. We just want to settle this peacefully."

There wasn't any answer. A brief red glow appeared from behind the curtain. I'd seen kinetic energy blasts before and that red glow was a dead giveaway we were all about to be singed to a crisp.

"GET DOWN!" I yelled a second before the energy blast came straight for us. Without thinking I threw my hands out and pushed a wall of ice up around all of us. I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing for the sizzling pain of being hit with an energy blast if I was that second too late. There was no sound except for everyone's heavy breathing. I cracked one eye open and looked around us. Everyone was staring at the wall of ice in front of them with mixed emotions. Some were horrified, others amazed. I had never done an ice shield so big before. It stretched out a good 10 feet to either side of me. It was nearly a foot thick. The energy blast melted a hole nearly right through it, but had only stopped a hair width from shattering it completely.

I stared at the wall in front of me for a very long few moments. Dammit now Clint was going to be so fucking smug about riding my ass to practice that. Fuck that had been close. I pushed my power into the wall and let the ice shattered into a thousand tiny pieces at our feet.

"Good job," Clint clapped my shoulder briefly. I let out a shaky breath with a small shake of my head. I was so impressed with myself. And suddenly very thankful for Clint pushing me over the last few weeks. Coulson just looked back at my with a tight smile, even he looked shaken. Most of the SWAT and Police couldn't stop staring at me. Natasha had disappeared in the brief distraction, more than likely to scope out the building for an entrance that couldn't be seen. She was good like that.

"So who's the mutant girl?" the deep voice rang out from the window again. "You know what, I'll talk to her and no one else."

Mutant. I hated that word so much. I wasn't even fond of SHIELD referring to anyone with powers as an Enhanced. Gifted was such a nicer word for powers that some of us didn't want in the first place.

I glanced at Coulson who gave me a brief nod. My previous excitement now melted into full blown nerves. Right this wasn't my area of training. Everything Clint had ever told me went straight out of my head. Here's hoping I didn't make this situation so much worse than it already was. Sucking in a deep breath I took the megaphone off Coulson and strode forward a few steps.

"My name is Kari," I made sure my voice was firm and strong despite my nerves. "That's an impressive kinetic blast you can do there."

"And that's a very impressive display of cyrokinesis Agent Kari," the man called back not sounding impressed at all. "It's a shame seeing a talented Enhanced being wasted in SHIELD."

"A girl has to eat and fuel her shoe obsession somehow," I said back trying to inject some humour into the situation. Though his terminology surprised me slightly. That wasn't a word a simple street thug would be casually throwing around. There might be a bigger play at hand here. I just need to stall for time. Natasha would find us a way in, and with a STRIKE team on the way it was just a matter of time before this could be over.

"How about you come up here and we can talk in private?" there was no question in the man's voice, it was an order. "No weapons on you, and all your thugs can back down. Otherwise I might start getting twitchy and people will find themselves with a very big hole in their chest."

I looked back to Coulson who was giving me a hard look. He wasn't shaking his head though. Clint had an arrow notched on his bow and was running his gaze over the building.

"Offer him a trade," Coulson said quietly with his mouth turned away from view of the window. "I'm not very comfortable with sending you up there Kari. But if…"

"If it gets the job done its fine," I assured Coulson quickly. "I'll keep a comms line open."

At least I sounded confident. I wasn't feeling terribly confident right now.

"Do it."

"So I didn't get a name before?" I turned my attention back to the Enhanced. "I'd like to know the name of the person I'm talking to before I get all close and personal."

There was another long pause before he spoke again.

"Craig."

"Alright Craig, I'm going to take off my weapons," I said calmly.

"And kevlar," Craig cut in shortly. "You come with nothing but your clothes."

"That's fine," I felt my nerves really start to kick in now. "But how about we do a small trade first? One of the people you have for me. I think that's only fair."

Another long pause. I caught a brief flash of red hair on the side of the building but kept my eyes trained to the window. It seemed like an eternity before the front door of the building opened and a tearful woman was being shoved along by a man behind her. I got my first real look at Craig. He was tall, at least 6'3 with massive arms that would snap me in half. He was bald and unshaved, he looked like he'd been living in the gutter for months on end. His clothes were tattered and torn in various places. One of his boots had the sole falling off. But he possessed a manic gleam in his eyes. He didn't need a weapon trained on the woman's head, the light glow of a barely contained energy blast from his hand was enough to keep her terrified.

"Unarm yourself then walk to me," Craig commanded. "And I'll let her go once I have you."

I handed the megaphone back to Coulson and quickly strode back to the van. I took a few deep breaths as I began to strip my kevlar off and rid myself of my weapons. Clint was right beside me talking quietly in Russian while helping me strip off.

"STRIKE's ETA is 2 minutes, we put them on a separate channel so you wouldn't get the chatter," Clint explained to me quickly. "Do you remember what to do?"

This had been a lesson on those long flights in Afghanistan. One that I'd actually found a lot of fun to discuss with Clint. It was my second favourite thing besides sniper tactics. I didn't think I'd actually need to use those lessons so quickly.

"Listen to him, don't argue, be empathic and try and build a rapport with him," I murmured back quietly in Russian. "Don't get my head blasted off."

"Especially the last part," Clint grabbed the kevlar and helped me shrug it off. "Slow and deliberate actions. Don't spook him. Try and get him near a window so I can get a clear shot. If I tell you to duck or move, do it without hesitation."

Clint tucked something small into the waistline of my pants. The cool blade of a small throwing knife sat against my skin and would be undetectable. It was such a quick motion he did it in no one would have noticed. I gave Clint my own small smile and a nod of my head and he stood back. He looked calm and confident. Like he had every bit of trust in me to do this right. I just had to be calm and use my head. Craig had been reasonable enough to bring a hostage out. He might be easy enough to talk down as well. Squaring my shoulders I took a deep breath and turned around to walk calmly towards Craig. As I did my earpiece came to life with the quiet voice of Coulson.

"We have a kill order, but only in a desperate circumstance. Keep him talking Kari, try and resolve this. I'll be in your ear if you need me but don't let him know that."

I tilted my head ever so slightly to the left to acknowledge I'd heard and understood him. Everything around me had gone eerily quiet. All I could hear was my own heart thundering in my ears as I walked closer to Craig. My stomach wound itself into a mess of knots. Not even butterflies could dance around it was wound up so tightly. My mouth was dry and I couldn't make any moisture appear in my mouth. This was so fucking crazy. What was I doing?

"Alright Craig here I am," I said what I hoped to be calmly. "Do you want to let her go now?"

Craig shoved the woman forward and I quickly caught her in my arms. The poor woman was terrified. She clung to me desperately, sobbing hysterically as I tried to pull her off me. I never took my eyes off Craig. He raised his arm ready to fire if I didn't come to him. It would be a disaster.

"You're going to be ok," I assured the woman. "But I have to go now, see that man over there in the suit? His name is Phil, you need to go to him."

While I spoke I pried her hands from off my shirt and gave her a small shove in Coulson's direction. I nearly pushed the poor woman off her feet, but at least she let go of me. I could hear running footsteps coming from behind me so I kept walking. As I walked towards Craig I held my hands up in a non threatening manner.

"Inside," Craig ordered me shortly.

"Try and keep near the windows" Coulson's voice was quiet in my ear. I walked into the building and Crag fell in behind me. It was an old apartment block in desperate need of some attention. The lobby was dark, even in the mid morning light. The entire thing was in a state of disrepair. The tiles under my feet made a crunching sound like they were cracking with every step of my booted feet. The wallpaper on the walls was faded and peeling off in places leaving a hideous green colour showing. Craig was right behind me and I could smell the sickly sweet smell of bourbon on his breath. He didn't seem drunk though. His steps behind me were heavy, but confident. There wasn't any waver in his manner or voice to give any indication he was drunk.

"Up the stairs, 5th floor," Craig gave me a small shove. There wasn't a lot of force behind it but it was enough to nearly knock me off my feet. I staggered and only just managed to keep my footing by sheer luck. He was strong, very strong. There was no way I was going to be able to muscle my way around this one. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to either.

"Of course," I regained my balance and started to walk up the stairway which was on the left of the lobby. The stairs weren't in much better shape than the rest of the building. A few stairs groaned under both our weight and I expected to go tumbling through them at any second. With every step my already racing heart was pounding even louder. I had to take a few quiet deep breaths to keep myself under control.

We reached the 5th floor and Craig gave me a shove towards a door which was barely hanging on its hinges. I gingerly opened the door expecting it to fall off at my touch. Thankfully it didn't. The door opened into an apartment with a group of people crowded up in the lounge room. It was a tiny apartment. The lounge had a kitchen in the corner and then 2 doors to the right which I assumed would be the bathroom and bedroom. It was stifling hot in here with all the people crowded in here with no window open or even a fan blowing.

The hostages were a mix of people. There was one lady cradling a child who looked to be no older than about 5. But thankfully no other children. The rest of the hostages ranged from my age to an elderly lady who was glaring at Craig defiantly as he walked back into the room.

"What can I do for you Craig?" I asked getting into it straight away as soon as the big man pulled the door closed.

"I want my life back," Craig snarled at me taking a few angry steps towards me. It took every ounce of courage I could muster to not back down from him. He stopped barely a hands width from my face. "I want my wife and kid and I off the Index and to disappear and not be found again."

"We can work with this," I said soothingly. "Is that your wife and kid?"

I motioned carefully towards the woman with the child in her arms. She looked up at me tearfully with a small ray of hope spreading across her face. Now I got a good look at her face I could see a nasty black eye brewing, no doubt from a strong backhand. If Craig had been the one to smack her across the face. What else was he capable of?

"Yes," Craig took a step back from me and I let out a small huff of relief. "SHIELD made me lose my job, it wasn't my fault I lost control and then got fired over it."

"I know how you feel," I started choosing my words carefully. Right now I just had to build a rapport with him. Be calm and be understanding. "It's horrible isn't it? I've only been working for SHIELD for a few months and I didn't join by choice."

Craig just stared at me with a hardened expression on his face. He didn't say anything so I elaborated a bit further.

"You saw my power. I'm pretty handy at making things freeze but I think we might have the same problem that when we're not always in control, things sometimes happen."

A curt nod was all I got from Craig so I kept going.

"I used to be a USAF Pilot. It's all I ever wanted to be ever since I was a kid. I loved my job until these 2 new guys joined. For some reason they thought it'd be a great idea to slip a roofie in my beer and try and drag me out. Unfortunately for them it didn't work so well in their favour and I killed both of them with my power. It was an accident, but SHIELD weren't very happy with me. I got given a choice to join SHIELD which I took because I didn't like the other option I was presented."

"Kari don't react to this, but we just got a hit on this guy," Coulson's voice came through my earpiece again. "Craig Alexanders, been on the run for the last 3 weeks for trying to rob a bank. He murdered 3 people to get away. Highly unstable, his wife has had a restraining order on him for months. "

Holy shit, I was just thrown in way over my head. This guy wasn't going to be shy of taking a few more victims if this went really bad. My mind raced with what to do next. I took the obvious course of action to keep him talking.

"What's your daughters name?" I asked quickly to drown out the sound of Coulson's voices replaying in my mind.

"Elizabeth," Craig answered me, his eyes darting frantically to the girl still in her mother's arms. The small girl had her face buried into her Mother's chest. Her shoulders were heaving from muffled sobs. "I just wanted to give her everything."

"That means you're a good Dad," I managed to put a small smile on my face. "What parent wouldn't want to give their little girl everything she could possibly want?"

"Yeah you're right, I'm a good Dad," Craig's gaze pulled back to me. "I lost my job working at the factory and I just wanted to provide for my family. SHIELD has been no help to me at all."

With the last sentence growing louder, the glow of energy in his hand increased. I threw myself on the ground just in time and felt the blast sizzle a few hairs on my head. I didn't even get time to pick myself back up before Craig yanked me back onto my feet by the front of my shirt. His face right in mine.

"So here's what you're going to do Agent Kari," Craig's face was turning red from anger. "I'm going to throw you out the window and see if your cyrokinesis can save your ass this time."

"Not a great idea," I said frantically trying to stall for time. STRIKE should be banging down that door any second now.

"And why is that?" A manic smirk fell onto his face.

It was terrifying. Looking into his eyes was like looking into pit with no ending. His eyes were just dead and emotionless. It was enough distraction for me to bring a ball of ice into my hand and smack it directly in his face. The distraction made him drop me and stagger back a few steps. Right into the view of the only window without curtains.

"You fucking bitch!" Craig roared clawing frantically at his half frozen face. "I'll kill you and all your fucking SHIELD agents out there."

His hands started to glow again. I yanked the throwing knife from my pants and threw it at hard as I could at his eye. It was the first thing that came to mind to disable him quickly. The sharp blade pierced right through eye and landed handle deep in my intended target. Craig dropped to his knees with a gargled spray of blood shooting from his mouth before falling onto the ground. It was only when his body hit the floor I saw one of Clint's arrows protruding into the side of his neck as well.

A second later the door broke open and a STRIKE force pouring into the room yelling for everyone to get on the ground. I couldn't make my body work, I couldn't even tear my eyes from the now dead body of Craig Alexanders. I'd never know if it was my knife or Clint's arrow that killed him. I was stunned that I'd made the decision to quickly to pull the knife and throw it. I hadn't even hesitated.

"Kari," It was Coulson's voice in my ear that broke me out of the trance of looking at the body on the floor.

"Threat neutralised," my voice was shaking. A hand grabbed my arm and I jumped in surprise. I looked over to see Natasha at my side.

"Come on, lets get out of here," Natasha said firmly. Without waiting for an answer from me, she guided us both out of the room and back down the stairs. Everything was fast turning into a blur. I could remember walking out into the hallway and down the stairs, but my mind could barely focus by the time I hit the 3rd floor. All I could think of was seeing Craig's body on the floor with my knife sticking out of his eye. My stomach was suddenly clenched and I could feel bile rising in my throat.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I whispered hoarsely to Natasha.

Natasha didn't say anything. She just yanked me into one of the apartments and I somehow managed to stagger into the bathroom. Collapsing to my knees I retched into the toilet once before my breakfast made a reappearance. Natasha had hold of my braid keeping it out of the way while she rubbed my back. My head was spinning and I couldn't hear anything except a loud ringing in my ears while I hunched over the toilet miserably throwing up until there was nothing left in my body to throw up. It felt like an eternity before I could prop myself away from the toilet without the fear of being sick again. I opened my eyes and sat back with a small groan. Clint was on the other side of me, supporting my weight while Natasha still rubbed my back. I hadn't even heard Clint enter the room I'd been so out of it while throwing up. I began to shiver suddenly feeling very cold.

"It's just adrenaline," Clint rubbed my arm reassuringly. "It'll pass. You've done this before. You're ok."

That was a bit of a lie. This time I'd intentionally thrown the knife to kill the person threatening me. Last time it'd been nothing but self defence. Goosebumps crawled over my skin at the thought of what just happened. I'd thrown that knife with the clear intention to kill him. I still couldn't quite process that in my head.

"I feel terrible," I couldn't get my voice above a whisper.

"That'll pass too," Natasha gave me back a few more rubs before stopping. "Water?"

I just nodded, not trusting my voice still. Natasha got up and left the room.

"Come on wash your face and rinse your mouth out," Clint was gentle but firm as he pulled me back to my feet. "You'll feel better. Trust me on that one. You can't stay in here all day."

I felt wobbly as I got back to my feet. I felt like I was going to collapse in those 2 steps it took for me to go from the toilet to the basin. The cold water splashing on my face brought me back to reality a bit quicker. It was then I realised the horrible taste in my mouth from throwing up. Trying not to gag I rinsed my mouth out. I lent back against the wall feeling slightly more normal again. Natasha reappeared with a bottle of water and wordlessly handed me one. I uncapped it and took a long drink. Every second standing there slumped against the wall felt like I was slowly gaining my wits back.

"Is everyone alright?" I finally asked breaking the silence. My voice was stronger this time.

"All hostages unharmed and accounted for," Clint had a small smile on his face. "Nice throw."

"I am taught by the best," I forced my own smile onto my face. I didn't want to ask the question of whether it was my knife or Clint's arrow that killed him. It seemed irrelevant now. The guy was dead and there was no coming back from that. Natasha chuckled lightly and gave me a pat on the shoulder. Clint pulled me into a very brief hug.

"We need to get downstairs," Natasha said in her usual business like tone. "You need to walk out there on your own two feet. Ready?"

"Yeah I'll be fine," I nodded pushing myself off the wall. I still felt a bit off colour but nothing like I was a few minutes ago. Somehow it was easy to push everything from my mind at that moment and not focus on what I had just done. I followed Clint and Natasha back down the crumbling stairs and into the weak morning sun.

The entire street was a massive hive of activity. SHIELD cars and vans were everywhere, along with numerous Agents. There were people talking to the hostages, others carrying crates of equipment back into the apartment building. Off to the side stood the STRIKE team that had stormed the building. It wasn't a team I knew so I ignored them. Coulson was on the radio which he put down the second he saw the three of us and came over.

"Good job Kari," Coulson looked relieved to see me standing in front of him. "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head rapidly but didn't trust myself to say anything just yet. Coulson put his hand on my back and quickly guided me away from the chaos of the scene. He directed me into the back of an open, but empty van. I sat down and took another sip from my water bottle, not sure where this was going.

"I'm sorry I had to send you in there." Coulson said watching me carefully. "I know this isn't an area you've had any training in and that was a messy situation."

"You mean besides Nat sticking me with truth serum" I joked. It brought a small and very relieved smile to Coulson's face.

"You did good today Kari, really good," Coulson crouched so we nearly at eye level. "Do you have anyone home tonight?"

"Probably not?" I looked at Coulson feeling slightly confused. "I mean Jared is away and I have no idea when Riley is back from where ever his team is. Why?"

"Because you don't need to be alone tonight," Coulson explained.

"Oh," it clicked with me why Coulson was asking me this. If I was alone I was probably going to sit there and dwell on today. If I dwelt on it my mind would only come up with new and creative ways of everything that could have gone wrong today. It'd taken me weeks to get over what happened in Afghanistan. Killing that man had been nothing but self defence. This time I'd made the conscious decision to take the person out.

"Bunk over at my place." Clint's voice came from behind Coulson. I glanced at him, not realising he was right behind Coulson.

"I don't want to intrude," I said quickly. It was such a weak excuse considering I'd spent quite a few nights bunking over while Riley was away.

"Please, you can sit there and play sing along to give me some peace and quiet," Clint chuckled. "But Coulson is right. You don't need to be alone tonight."

"Well, looks like you're cooking dinner," Natasha gave Clint a playful shove as she came up from behind him. "I'll bring the beer. Joining us Coulson?"

"I'll bring the pie," Coulson chuckled at their antics. "Come on, lets all get back to base and then home so Clint can cook something awesome, like sticky pork belly."

Clint groaned at the request. But there wasn't any refusal to cook it. I perked up immediately at the sound of that dish. If it was anything like Clint's stir fry I was all in for that.

After getting back to base, debriefs took the rest of the morning and some of the afternoon up. I'd had a 10 minutes video call with Andrew Garner at Coulson's request. I'd talked to him that way a few times while we were still overseas and it was nice to bounce my thoughts off without any fear of judgement. Again he reassured me my feelings were all warranted and normal. That I wasn't going crazy and I was coping just fine with everything happening around me. It was nice to get signed off by him pretty much straight away as well. He seemed to like my no bullshit attitude with him. It left enough time for me to run and get Lila from her playgroup and take her to ballet lessons. It was such a strange day. This morning I killed someone and in the afternoon I was sitting watching 3 and 4 year olds twirling around in tutus.

Dinner was loud but full of laughter. Clint cooked Coulson's requested sticky pork belly without any complaints. Coulson had brought a peanut butter swirl cheesecake from the amazing little bakery not far from Clint's places. Laura was working a late shift so it was just us and the kids for dinner. Lila had pleaded with me to watch her new favourite Disney movie before dinner. I had to admit, watching Beauty and the Beast instead of her usual favourites was a nice change. Natasha had taken Cooper out the back to show him a backwards spinning kick. So there were no protests from either of the kids when they were told to go to bed straight after dinner. Lila had attached herself to me and begged me to tuck her in though. I was powerless against those huge brown eyes. I tucked her in, snuck 2 stories in instead of the usual one. She was fast asleep by the time I pulled the covers up.

It was late when Natasha and Coulson both left. They'd both stayed for a beer and just a casual talk. It was nice to be able to see Coulson away from the stress of work. He always had the best stories about Clint as well. He also had some really good ones about Natasha too from her first days in SHIELD. He was more than willing to embarrass both of them with the stories. Poor Clint had been wearing the brunt of most of it tonight.

Clint and I sat on the back porch on the swing, having a quiet beer. Lucy and Lucky sat at our feet fast asleep. The neighbourhood around us was quiet and the only sounds were the occasional car and the chirping of night insects in the brisk winter air.

"You did so well today Kari," Clint said breaking the silence as he rocked the swing back and forth with his legs.

"I was shitting myself the entire time," I said dryly taking a sip of beer. I brushed off the compliment. I did't think I'd done well. I just made everything up on the spot and went with the flow of things. "I can't believe I threw up afterwards again."

"I still do sometimes," Clint admitted turning to look at me. I was about to roll my eyes and smack him for teasing me. The joke died on my lips when I saw he was being serious. "It's never an easy thing to take someone's life. Especially point blank like that without hesitation."

"I feel like maybe I should have hesitated," I bit my lip. This had played on my mind a bit. Andrew had warned me that I'd question myself a lot about this. "I mean the guy was fine, talking to me one second and the next he just lost it."

"If you hesitated all that would be left of you would be the pretty flag on your coffin for your parents to see," Clint said with his usual brutal honesty. "And a hero's send off with your name on a wall somewhere. And Craig Alexanders would still be dead from the arrow I put through his neck. Take it from me Kari, don't dwell on that what if's and the possibilities of what might happen. Just focus on you're alive and you got all of those hostages out. That's all that matters."

The silence hung between us as his words sunk into my brain. Clint was right, as usual. I'd send myself mad trying to work out all the what ifs in my life if I kept going with this. I couldn't fall apart every time something happened in my life that rattled me. Whether I wanted it or not, this was still my life for another 6 months. I was still a little unsure I could do this as a career. But I was starting to love my job. But I don't know how long I could keep it up. STRIKE didn't exactly have the longest life expectancies.

"I think my Mother would be so mad I died that she'd come and drag me back from Death himself." I just gave a small shrug. "I'm dreading the phone call I'll be making telling her what happened. But then again I'm sure she already knows what happens and is just putting together her lecture."

"Did you ring Riley?" Clint asked after he chuckled at my statement. I shook my head in answer. He'd been off grid for 2 weeks so there was no point trying to contact him until he contacted me. It was his first extended time away from me so I was feeling a bit lonely and missing him like crazy.

"I always hate ringing Laura after we've been on a mission and I've done something stupid or been busted up," Clint took a sip of beer. "Because as soon as I get home I just get those looks. I don't even get a lecture anymore. The looks are enough to make me quake in my boots and contemplate sleeping on the couch for the next 2 months. I dread thinking what you and Riley are going to end up like."

"Big bad Hawk scared of his 5'3 wife," I couldn't stop my snort of laughter. "Anyway we've only been dating for 5 months, who knows where this will end up."

"Wedding bells, babies all the normal shit," Clint teased me. "You know all that crap girls always dream of."

"I dreamt of flying fast planes and finding various ways to blow up stuff during holidays," I laughed at Clint's teasing. "The last time I had a boyfriend that lasted beyond a week was when I was 20. So this is all pretty amazing that its worked out for me for once. Having a boyfriend is a pretty new experience for me."

"What's all new for you?" a familiar voice made me nearly fall off the swing. I turned around to see a grinning Riley standing in the doorway. I looked at Clint in surprise.

"I may have made a call for you," Clint grinned at me. "Figured you'd want some company after a big day. You're still staying here the night though. I really don't need to hear you having sex so keep it quiet. I'm going to bed anyway. Night."

With that Clint left Riley and I alone sitting on the back porch. Riley dropped his bag on the ground and came and sat next to me, pulling me into his arms. I sighed in contentment being wrapped in his strong arms. By the look and smell of him he'd come straight back from whatever his mission was. His pants were still splattered in mud. He had a few days worth of stubble across his face and he looked really tired. I didn't care. I was just happy he was home.

"I missed you," Riley said quietly before kissing me. "It felt like an eternity being away."

"I missed you too," I kissed him back. "A lot. How did you get out of it?"

"We were finished and waiting for our ride," Riley explained. "Coulson sent out a Quinjet to pick us up sooner than anticipated. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Best surprise ever," I smiled. Coulson really went above and beyond sometimes. "Coming to bed? Or do you want a shower first?"

"I'll have a shower first," Riley wrinkled his nose slightly as if he was smelling himself for the first time. "Meet you in bed? I'll be quick."

True to his word, Riley was showered and in bed in about 5 minutes. I'd just started to drift off to sleep as he climbed in behind me, pulling me back into his body. I smiled shifting back as close as I could possibly get to him. It felt so good to touch him again. Even if it was through a thin layer of clothes.

"I missed you so much," Riley murmured into my hair.

"Me too," I squeezed Riley's hand which was on my arm. "How was your mission?

"Muddy," Riley chuckled briefly. "Long and it turned out to be a complete dead end. All I could think of was you. Why are we sleeping at Clint's tonight?

"I seemed to get thrown into shit fights all the time without any training," my words were muffled by the yawn that made my jaw stretch right open. "Too late to talk about it."

Much to my disgust Riley pulled away from me and reached over the flick the bedside light on. I swore at him under my breath in Icelandic as the light was momentarily blinding. Riley pulled me over so I was lying on my back looking up at him. As tired as he looked I knew I wasn't going to be getting out of this one easily.

"There was a guy, Craig was his name," I started without Riley having to prompt me. "He was gifted. Threw off kinetic energy blasts and he was holding a room full of people hostage. He sent a blast at us and I threw up a wall of ice like I'd been practicing with Clint."

"I'm very glad you're practicing that," Riley said lightly with a small smile. "This doesn't sound like it has a happy ending."

"It really doesn't," I sighed quietly. I chewed on my lip mulling over my next words. "He exchanged me for one of the hostages. Turns out he lost his job because of something to do with his powers and was angry with SHIELD for not helping him. He basically lost his shit, went to throw me out a window but I managed to smack some ice into his face."

I hesitated knowing what was coming next. Riley just stayed here, hovering above me resting on his arms waiting for me to speak.

"He went to blast me and Clint had slipped a small throwing knife in my pants. I pulled it out and got him right in the eye. Clint shot him as well," I shrugged with a small frown. "I don't know if I killed him, or Clint did. But it was pretty fucked up. Self defence aside, I made the conscious decision to pull that knife out and aim it for his eye."

"It's not easy," Riley reached down and gave me a hug. I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying the feeling of being in arms again. "I know how you feel. I've had to pull the trigger on some pretty awful calls. I'm just glad you're alive and safe. Did the hostages get out?"

"All alive and accounted for," my voice was slightly muffled as I buried my head into the crook of Riley's neck. "Thats the most important thing."

"I'd like to think the most important thing was that you're here in my arms tonight," Riley said quietly. "But I'm also glad those hostages can be with their families."

"Me too," I started to drift off again. It'd been a big day. Riley reached over and turned the light off, plunging the room into darkness.

"I love you," I murmured before I fully fell asleep. Those words still hadn't lost their magical feeling and I said them whenever I could.

"I love you too," Riley squeezed me hard. He sounded just as sleepy as me. "So much."

I felt like I'd only just closed my eyes before a message came through on my phone dragging me back to the land of the living. It took me a few goes to actually get my eyes open enough to look at the clock. I groped in the dark trying to find the offending object that had made the noise to wake me up. It was 0401. I still had an hour of sleep left before we had to be in at work. I finally got my phone and squinted at the bright light of the screen. It took me about 20 seconds before the message actually sunk in. It was from Coulson.

Tony Stark has been found.

Authors Note

I hope everyone enjoyed the quick update!