Left, right, left right. The solid thwack of my fists hitting the punching bag was extremely soothing. Being back at the gym at the Triskelion felt strange. Being surrounded by the people I know. There'd been more than a few surprised faces as I walked into the STRIKE locker room this morning. After a weekend of drinking with Jared, our belated birthday drinks as we called it, there'd been a lot of talking. A lot more tears as well. Jared was very insistent that right now, throwing myself back into work was the best thing for me. Clint and Natasha would be back tonight. Life was slowly turning back to being normal even if I wasn't feeling normal. So here I was, 0745, and at the gym. It was the most normal thing I'd done in what felt like forever. The only thing missing was Clint and Natasha. Jared promised to come by the gym and spar after I worked out. I was meant to have a session with Andrew, but I got an email this morning postponing it.
By the time he got here, I doubt I'd have the energy to kick Jared's ass. My arms were aching and it was only 5 minutes in. I was so unfit. Jumping on the scales this morning put me at 123lbs. So much for thinking I'd put on 10 pounds while I was in Malibu. The only thing I'd lost was muscle and fitness. But at least my will to keep going was back. I'd scared myself enough on the roof that I just wanted to get bak to work and move on with my life. Just like Riley wanted.
"Whoa there slugger," Rumlow's face appeared from the other side of the punching bag. The bag immediately stopped swinging, breaking my rhythm. "Who taught you to punch like that? You'll break your fucking hand."
"Hello to you too Rumlow," I stepped back from the bag, breathing hard. "There's nothing wrong with my punching."
"Get your ass in the ring," Rumlow scoffed at me playfully. "There's plenty wrong with your punching. Lets fix this up before Romanoff catches you doing that."
I was going to die. Rumlow was going to kick my ass and then Jared would do the same. Still, there was a feeling I hadn't felt in a while. Excitement and adrenaline. The feeling I used to get every morning sparring with Clint and Natasha. Another step in the right direction to get my life back on track. Just having some emotions back in my life that wasn't sadness or grief was a good start. I'd cried a lifetime worth of tears over these last few weeks. I really didn't want to cry anymore.
Walking over to the sparring mats, I rolled my neck while stretching my arms. Rumlow had already kicked his shoes off and was casually stretching while waiting for me. I hadn't noticed the crowd gathering in the gym while I was using the punching bag. But now it looked like half of the STRIKE teams were in here. I could feel a lot of eyes landing on me as I kicked off my own shoes and stood on the mats with Rumlow.
"So what am I doing wrong smartass?" I fought to keep the smile off my face. It was good to see him. Actually it was good to see everyone.
"Nothing," Rumlow shot me a quick grin. A second later his fist came flying at my face. He was so quick I only just managed to block it. The following up left hook I didn't manage to block. The solid punch landed flush on my jaw. It wasn't hard but the force was enough to send me staggering backwards a few steps.
"Fucker," I grimaced. I wasn't expecting that at all. But my blood was pumping and I was ready to throw back whatever I could at him. I was faster. My grimace quickly turned into a smirk as I came forward, I feinted a right jab that could be seen from a mile away. Rumlow dodged it easily.
"Getting slow there Kari," he teased moving around me. I circled around him, watching him carefully for the next move. He didn't disappoint. He came straight at me with a few hard punches. I was barely managing to block them. The last punch landed in my side, sending the breath right out of me.
"Ow," I forced myself not to double over to clutch at the offending area. I'd gotten soft in my inactivity. A blow like that would barely make me flinch a few weeks ago. In a flash of anger I lashed out without thinking of my move. Quick as anything Rumlow grabbed my arm and threw me onto my back. Instead of pushing me to yield, he backed off and let me get back to my feet.
"Kick his ass Kari!" Jared's voice called out. I snuck a glance up to see a crowd gathered around us. A rather large crowd. Great, I was getting an audience with my ass kicking. I saw Jared standing there looking very pleased at this mornings entertainment. I quickly snapped my attention back to Rumlow so he didn't land me on my ass again in my inattention.
"Come on Princess," Rumlow taunted. He was keeping back a few paces, an infuriating smirk on his face.
"Bring it," it took me longer than it should to become fully upright. Rumlow could pack a wallop even if he didn't hit full force. I was going to hurt tomorrow. But right now I refused to embarrass myself in front of half the STRIKE force. If I lost to Rumlow now, Natasha would never let me live this down. I don't think I'd ever let myself live it down either.
Rumlow didn't wait for me. He came at me fast and at brutal strength. His only weakness was he left his lower body wide open. Every single time. Blocking his punches with my right arm, I sent a vicious and full force blow straight to his solar plexus. It was satirising to feel the whoosh of breath and grunt come from Rumlow as my fist connected. Not wanting to press my advantage, I backed off, ready for his next move.
"Didn't even feel it," Rumlow taunted me again. He didn't give me a chance to reply, and came at me again with a flurry of quick punches. Goddammit he was fast with his upper body. He was only an inch taller than me, so I couldn't exactly duck out of his reach either. I missed blocking another punch and got a solid hit right in my ribs, instantly dropping me to the ground again. Ow, fuck. That one really hurt. It took me a few seconds to actually regain my breath. This time Rumlow didn't give me a chance to get back to my feet. His leg swung towards me in a determined kick.
It was too perfect. Rumlow had shit lower body ability. His kick was a little slower than it needed to be. It was too easy for me to hook my leg around the left he was balancing on. With a solid yank behind his ankle, it was like watching a tree fall in slow motion. Rumlow's arms flailed as he tried to get his balance. But it didn't do him any good, he fell backwards, landing heavily on his back.
I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the pain in my ribs. I couldn't pin Rumlow down, but I could make him hurt enough to not want to get back up. I threw myself down onto Rumlow, driving my knee into his stomach. The effect was instant, he groaned and rolled over away from me. The hit wasn't hard enough to put him out of commission. He was instantly back and had me pinned down, stomach first against the mats. There was no escaping from him. I scowled, angry at myself for getting too cocky. Rumlow was right, I was getting slow.
"Yield?" Rumlow asked.
"I hate you," I grunted as Rumlow pushed more of his weight onto me. About 200 pounds of muscle pressing down on me was making it hard to breath. I really didn't want to yield though. Losing to Rumlow was a blow to my ego.
"You still haven't yielded," Rumlow taunted me, pushing down even harder.
My left hand was free, so I grabbed the bare skin on his arm digging my nails in hard. For good measure, I pushed my power into my hand, putting a thin layer of ice on his arm. The effect was instant. Rumlow snatched his arm away quickly from my freezing hand. In doing so, he took his weight off me and moved his balance. It was enough for me to get out of his grip and out from underneath him. As I squirmed away, I sent a hard kick at his legs. To my surprise, it was enough to send Rumlow sprawling on his front with an obviously pained groan. Taking my chance, I jumped on his back, putting my knee between his legs for good measure as a warning. Putting all my weight down on him kept his him on the mat, now breathing heavily.
"Yield?" I pushed my knee up a little higher for good measure. Even if Rumlow didn't yield right now, I was going to give him a chance to get up. I wasn't against playing dirty.
"I thought we agreed no kicking in the nuts," Rumlow's voice was muffled again the mat. "Fuck you. Yes I yield. Little slippery shit you are."
I couldn't stop grinning as I climbed off Rumlow's back. He rolled over onto his side with a wince. I climbed to my feet, offering my hand to help him up.
"One of these days I'm going to kick your ass," Rumlow took my hand and got to his feet. He was scowling but the corners of his lips were twitching. "Good job."
"Thanks," I was breathing a lot heavier than I should be after a soft round of sparring. "Always a pleasure to kick your ass."
The crowd around us had gotten even bigger. Now the adrenaline of the fight was wearing off, louder as well. Money was being passed around, making me rolls my eyes. If anyone on Bravo team had bet against me, I was going to kick their ass myself. Through the noise, a British female voice cut through. Over the American and male voices, it was very easy to pick in the crowd.
"Of course I bloody put money on your Granddaughter," the British voice sounded very indignant. "Look at her, she can run circles around that big daft monkey."
Rumlow visibly flinched next to me. He muttered something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like 'You've got to be fucking kidding me.'
Before I could ask him what he meant, Jared stepped through the crowd and grabbed my arm.
"Come and meet someone," Jared tugged at my arm excitedly. He didn't wait for me to follow, he just started walking with me still attached to his hand. I let myself be dragged along, curious to who the voice was now. Through the mass of sweaty, muscly bodies a small circle had formed around a group of people. I could see through the gap enough to see Grams and Mom both standing there.
"Grams!" I pushed past the bodies and launched myself at her. She was the last person I was expecting to see here. Despite being sweaty and probably smelling really gross, Grams pulled me into tight hug.
"Thats my girl kicking ass," Grams laughed as she squeezed me. "I'm glad we surprised you."
"The best surprise," my face felt like it was going to split from my smile.
Grams didn't often leave the ranch anymore. She didn't like being in public places with so many people's thoughts buzzing around. I knew she wouldn't have come to Riley's funeral for that exact reason. Funerals were hard enough for Mom being able to feel everyones emotions. Let alone the thoughts Grams would hear. It was just too much for her. But to have her here right now was the best surprise I could have imagined. Especially after such a mentally draining weekend. Grams was first the pull back from the hug. It was only then I actually noticed the other woman standing with them. She looked very familiar but I couldn't place her face.
"Kari, this is Peggy Carter," Grams looked over to the mystery woman with a smile. "Peggy, this is my ass kicking granddaughter who I've told you so much about."
My mind instantly went blank. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before I managed to squeak something that vaguely resembled hello.
Peggy Carter. My childhood hero standing right here in front of me. Grey and slightly bent over with age now she was in her 80's. But still, standing here looking at me with a gentle and amused smile. The woman I heard so much about when growing up. She was my inspiration to be a strong and capable woman just like she was.
"That's the first time I've ever seen you speechless Kari," Mom's joking made my face turn 3 different shades of red. Grams was no help either. She grinned at me with a knowing look on her face.
"It's a pleasure to see you after all these years Kari," Peggy didn't seem perturbed by my lack of response. She held her hand out for me to shake, which I dumbly took. Even stooped with age, she had a killer grip.
"Why don't you go and have a shower?" Mom suggested. She wrinkled her nose at the sight of my sweaty body. Besides Peggy, no one else moved to greet me beyond words. "We're heading up to say hello to Nick."
It took me a moment to realise they were talking about Director Fury. Not Nick from Bravo team. I was having a really slow day today. Both in my brain and body. I definitely didn't want to be spending any more time in Fury's office than I had to. The few times I'd been in there always felt like I was in trouble, even though I wasn't.
"Sure, I'll meet you up there," I smiled. If I procrastinated long enough I wouldn't actually have to go into Fury's office.
"No you won't," Grams rolled her eyes. "We'll come and get you if you're so terrified of your boss."
"Right," I grinned sheepishly. I should have tried to keep that thought to myself a bit harder. Next to me Jared snickered. "Going."
"I'll kick your ass tomorrow," Jared gave me a playful punch on the arm as I retreated from the gym. A group had quickly gathered around us, all keen to see Peggy. A few of the older STRIKE guys might have been around when Peggy was still director. Even if they weren't, it was still very exciting to have one of the founders of SHIELD standing in the gym. I wouldn't be the only one having a massive fangirl moment.
I made it out of the gym and nearly all the way back to the locker room without being interrupted. I walked straight into Evans about 3 steps from the door. I don't know who was more surprised, me or Evans. He did a double take after a snappy sounding apology suddenly realising it was me.
"Hey stranger," Evans face broke into an easy smile. "Been at the gym?"
"Yeah, kicking Rumlow's ass," I smiled back. Smiling felt like it was easy today.
"Good girl," Evans chuckled. "Have you got a second?"
"Sure," I stepped to the side of the corridor so we weren't blocking it. If this was about what I thought it might be, it wouldn't be a long conversation. Ever since Coulson had told me about Evans offering me Riley's position, it'd been a firm no in my mind.
"I have a big favour and a question," Evans casually lent against the wall. He looked tired. No doubt thanks to Alexi and her random sleeping habits. Without Riley around to deal with her, Evans had no backup.
"Shoot, though if it's helping with Alexi not sleeping at 2am you're out of luck there," I joked.
"Ugh it's not Alexi," Evans wiped a hand over his face. "I forgot how damn hungry and the random cravings Abby gets when she's pregnant. She has me driving to random places for food at all hours of the morning."
I snickered but didn't have anything else to say about that. I had no idea about women and pregnancies. But it sounded pretty normal. At least the end result would be worth it. Even if Evans didn't get a good night sleep for the next few years. For his sanity sake I hoped the next child was going to be a better sleeper than Alexi.
"So the favour is that Abby has a scan in a few days," Evans continued. "We're flying out on a mission tonight, can you drop around and be there for her scan?"
"Of course," I didn't have to think about that one. A small pit of nerves gathered in my stomach with knowing what was coming next. Coulson might have been relieved that I'd say no, but Evans might not take it too well. It was a big responsibility he'd have to take on having me on his team. I wasn't sure if I was going to offend him by my refusal.
"Did Coulson talk to you about the next thing?" Evans tapped his fingers against the wall absently. He didn't look nervous, just a little cautious about the next question.
"Yeah he did," the smile from earlier diminished a little. "I can't take it Troy. Its too raw still. I can't say his name without crying. I couldn't do his job every day."
"I thought so," Evans looked disappointed at my quick refusal. "I've got a new kid coming from the Academy if you refused. Can you at least break him in for me?"
"I barely feel qualified to be doing the work I do already," my smile felt like it was becoming more and more strained. "And I have no idea when I'll get cleared for field work."
Evans frowned at me before pushing himself off the wall. He held up his finger and grabbed his phone out before I could ask what was wrong. I stood there while he quickly scrolled through his phone, occasionally tapping on the screen. It only took half a minute before he held the screen up to me. It was my SHIELD file. The third line down made me frown. I took the phone off him to make sure I was reading it right.
According to my SHIELD file, I was clear for active duty as of this morning. That couldn't be right. Someone must have fucked up majorly. I wasn't going to question it though. It was another step for me to move on. Not to mention a very good distraction and something to keep me busy. Like Jared said, Riley wouldn't want me to wallow in my grief forever. This was what I needed right now.
"There you go," I quickly wiped the look of surprise off my face. For a moment Evans didn't look convinced. I wouldn't be surprised to go back later and find the mistake fixed on my file. But for now, he didn't say anything.
"I've got Rumlow's marksman this time," Evans took his phone back. "But the new guy will be here next week."
"Is that a warning not to let Barton play games with him?" I joked to cover my earlier discomfort.
"Barton and Romanoff are both banned from talking to anyone new," Evans rolled his eyes. "Recruits tend to get suckered into their games and end up in trouble. I'll let you get to whatever you're doing."
"Having a shower and apparently meeting my childhood idol," the smile became easier again. "Peggy Carter is here."
"Is she?" Evans face lit up in childish glee. The tiredness fell away from his face instantly. "I was a new recruit when Director Carter retired. It'll be good to see her. Where is she?"
"She was in the gym," I held back my laugh at seeing Evans so excited. "Ring Jared, she's with Mom and Grams."
"And your Grams, today is a good day," Evans barely got the last of the sentence out before he walked away. There was a definite bounce in his step. "Be good."
I snorted at his last statement. With Natasha and Clint coming home soon, good wasn't going to be on the cards. After them being away for so long this time, there'd be a big night of drinking to celebrate them coming home. Thats if Laura didn't chain Clint to their bed first. Still smiling to myself, I went into the locker room and grabbed a change of clothes. Like Grams anticipated I took my time in the shower. By the time I finished there was a text from Jared.
Kill me. Seriously, Fury is gossiping with Carter and Grams like an old woman himself.
I burst out laughing at the message. It still felt weird to be laughing, but good as well. The mental image of Fury sitting there knitting and drinking tea like an old woman was too much for me. I was still giggling quietly to myself when I got dressed and walked up to Fury's office. The Triskelion was busy as always. There was a small crowd hanging out the door of Fury's office. No doubt all keen to get a look at Peggy. Jared was sitting across the hallway in one of the vacant seats, half scowling at the door with his arms crossed. I plonked myself down next to my twin, crossing my arms and mirrored his expression just to annoy him.
"We aren't identical, don't do that," Jared scowled even more. "I can't believe I got told to sit outside and behave myself like a naughty kid."
"Well you were the naughty one," I teased with him a gentle nudge in the ribs. "What the hell are they doing in there?"
"Why don't you go in and find out for yourself?" Jared eyed me slyly. "Go invisible and snoop. Take some video and we'll stick it on YouTube."
"Hell fucking no, I'm not suicidal," I shook my head rapidly. "I don't think Fury likes me that much anyway."
The door opened to his office. Speak of the devil and he appears. Fury walked out just as the last few words left my mouth. Judging by the unamused, deadpanned look being shot in my direction. It was a pretty clear indication he heard me. Only a step behind him was the women of the group.
"Good morning Sir," Jared saved me from getting chewed out.
"Good morning Lyngley," Fury turned an equally unimpressed look at Jared. "Don't you have something better to do than sit outside my office?"
"Of course I do, but since Mom told me to sit here and not move, I'm actually doing as I'm told for once," Jared said smartly.
"Wouldn't that be a first," Fury didn't twitch at Jared's smartass tone. His own snappy reply was done with a completely blank face. His one good eye boring into Jared as he spoke.
"Probably the last too," Jared didn't miss a beat with his comeback. I covered mouth to hide the smile that I couldn't stop. My cheeks were actually hurting from the smiling I was doing this morning. Was I really that out of practice with smiling that my muscles hadn't been used?
"And Kari," Fury turned his stare to me. I used every bit of courage I had not to shrink under his gaze. "I hear congratulations are in order. Welcome to SHIELD."
"Thank you Sir," I could feel my cheeks going red again. Coming from Fury that was such high praise. I sprung to my feet and took his offered hand to shake. Just behind him, Mom's eyes looked suspiciously watery. I hope she wasn't crying because I joined SHIELD. But from her pestering over the years, my bets were on she was proud I was actually here now. I really hoped it was the latter rather than the former.
"I believe we have brunch reservations," Mom said as soon as I dropped my hand from Fury's firm grip. "Good to see you face to face for once Nick."
I made my escape from the women saying goodbye to Nick by going straight back to Jared's side. He'd done the smart thing and hung back out of the way. It took forever for them to finally say goodbye and manage to escape from the crowd of people in the front of Fury's office. Everyone seemed to want to catch a glimpse of Peggy. It didn't get any better as we all started to walk towards the elevator. It was like having a horde of raging fangirls following us. Jared and I hung back at the edges of the group to avoid all the attention. No one seems to annoy us. Except for a few flirty looks thrown at Jared by some of the younger female agents. For once Jared didn't attempt to flirt.
It took until the garage to be finally free of everyone. I don't know how Grams and Peggy managed to do it, all while still smiling. If that was me, I wouldn't be able to handle the attention. It was a good thing I never wanted to be one in the spotlight.
"Meet you there," Jared didn't wait for any of the ladies. He just hooked his arm through mine and led me to his car.
"My god, you're driving," I teased him, sliding into the passenger seat.
"Shut up," Jared drew out vowels in his words, sounding like Lila when she was whining about something. "Mom made me. I had no idea they were coming. Answered the door in my boxers half asleep thinking it was you forgetting your keys. And heres Director fucking Carter standing there with Grams. I've never been so embarrassed in my life."
"Are you having a fangirl moment?" I couldn't help but continuing to tease Jared.
"A little," Jared grumbled. There was the faintest scattering of blush creeping up his neck. "I just never wanted to meet the living legend while standing in my shittiest part of boxers."
"Jared you don't own a shitty pair of boxers," I snorted in disbelief. "Aren't those things Frigo or something like that?"
"You leave my $100 boxers alone," Jared shot me a small smirk. "You don't have balls and you have no idea how uncomfortable it is to have them bounce around. You can't talk anyway. You have like an entire catalogue of Victoria Secret underwear."
Jared had a very good point there. I couldn't tease him about expensive underwear. I had plenty of them. At least Jared's boxers actually had enough fabric to justify the cost. Some of my lace thongs were like little scraps of material that didn't actually have enough lace on them to justify the cost.
"So, whats with them being here?" I asked Jared. "Grams doesn't travel out of the blue. Let alone to have her old war buddy rock up with her."
"Dunno," Jared shrugged. "They just told me to get dressed and asked where you were. I feel like I'm just here to drive your sorry ass around."
"Fuck you," I would have punched Jared if he wasn't driving. "You're the spy. Shouldn't you be able to figure this shit out?"
"I wouldn't expect you to understand," Jared gave a dramatic sigh. He glanced over to me with an evil twinkle in his eyes. "After all, you're only STRIKE. It's not like you do any real work."
"I'm going to give you the ass whopping of your life tomorrow when you spar with me," I didn't rise to his baiting. If I did we'd probably end up in a car crash. Especially with the speed Jared was manoeuvring the sleek sports car at.
"If you fight anything like you did today it'll be me giving you the ass whopping," Jared looked a little too pleased with that line of teasing. "Damn Kari, its Rumlow. You can see him coming from a mile away. You cant be that out of practice."
"Apparently I am," I flinched at Jared's words, even though he was teasing. "Nat is going to kill me when she gets back."
"And I'm looking forward to every single ass kicking she gives you," the grin on Jared's face was pure evil. "I may even take videos and put it on YouTube."
"You're such an asshole," I scoffed.
"Got one, not one," Jared said proudly.
And it was on. We bickered the entire way to where we were going for brunch. It felt good to be annoying Jared. It felt normal. So normal it almost felt out of place with everything that had been going on. But it was good. The rest of the day could go to shit, but the feel of normality was something to hold onto. It was a 50 minute drive so there was plenty of time to annoy the crap out of each other. We pulled into a tree lined driveway with green paddocks on other side. A few fat cows grazing in the warm Spring morning. It was a peaceful setting, not what I was expecting. At the end of the driveway was a huge brick building. The main building seem to stretch on forever across the small acreage.
"Nice place," Jared whistled as he scanned the surroundings.
"So, the next question is why are we here?"
I didn't get an answer to my question. Mom tapped on the window before Jared could say anything. We both climbed out of the car and fell in behind Grams and Peggy. The two older women were talking animatedly, joking about something Fury said earlier. Mom was tagging behind Jared and I, on the phone to someone in her department at work. Judging by the annoyed scowl on Mom's face I'm guessing something was going wrong. Running a HR program in a workplace like SHIELD couldn't be easy. Now I knew a little about the inner workings of SHIELD, I didn't envy her job at all.
The huge home turned out to be a nursing home. Curiosity burned through me as we followed Grams and Peggy through the halls. We came out through the long hallways into a courtyard. The garden was beautiful. So many colours bloomed in the huge garden. There wasn't enough words to actually describe all of the different colours littering the grounds. Sitting at one of the tables was a small man in a wheelchair, stopped with age. But on his head was a very old bowler that had seen better days. It wasn't hard to tell who it was. The bowler was a dead give away.
Timothy 'Dum Dum' Dugan.
Next to me Jared faltered in his stride. His face went red, not unlike mine from earlier. Peggy was my hero growing up. The Howling Commandos were Jared's. I gave him a not too gentle nudge in the ribs and teasing smile.
"Seems we're both going to fangirl out," I murmured under my breath to Jared.
"Don't worry I'm already internally screaming," Jared murmured back. He looked like he was trying very hard not to grin like an excited kid. As we walked on the path, Jared's hand found mine and he gripped it tightly. He shot me a very quick grin as we got within hearing range. Grams and Peggy were already hugging Dugan in greeting.
"Dugan, these are my Grandkids," Grams motioned for us to come a little closer. We huddled together as the 2 of us shuffled forward. "Kari and Jared."
"Hi," I said softly. I could feel my cheeks turning bright red once again. Jared didn't quite make a word. He made a squeaking sound which sounded too high pitched to be coming from a man.
"Pleasure to meet you both," Dugan moved to shake Jared's hand.
Jared looked frozen on the spot. I had to give him a shove forwards so he didn't look like a complete idiot. My shoved snapped him from his haze and his tongue finally unfroze.
"The pleasure is all mine," Jared moved forward and shook Dugan's hand vigorously. He held on a few more seconds than he really needed to.
"Come with me Kari," Peggy looped her arm through mine. Before I could say anything to Dugan, she was already walking off. Not wanting to be embarrassed by being dragged along by an 80 something year old lady, I followed her. I saw Grams give me a quick smile out of the corner of my eye as Peggy and I left the group.
We were both quiet as we slowly moved around the garden. It was a beautiful day. It wasn't hot or muggy. The sun beat down just enough to make it comfortable. The scents from all the flowers mixed together in a strong perfume. I felt like a giant standing next to Peggy, a big awkward lumbering giant. I couldn't think of anything intelligent to say at all.
"You know there's no need to be shy around me," Peggy broke the silence first. I don't know whether to be relieved or even more awkward for what she said.
"I'm not shy, I'm just awkward," the words slipped out before I could stop them. I cringed at my own stupidness. I opened my mouth to try and sound somewhat intelligent. But Peggy laughed and gave my arm a small squeeze.
"Oh my dear, please just relax," Peggy's laughter was as bright as the sunshine coming down on us. "You know we've met before?"
"No?" I looked down at Peggy in confusion.
"You were only little," Peggy smiled, looking a little lost in the memory. "Maybe 2 or 3? Paul had to take you and Jared to work for some reason."
I had no memory of this at all. It'd make sense given how young I would have been. But it wasn't unusual for us to go to work with either of our parents when we were younger. I had plenty of memories sitting at the back of Mom's office or Dad's lab, reading or watching movies, before we started school.
"I was there talking to Nick about something," Peggy laughed again. "And the next thing I know here's a little Jared standing next to me, grinning wildly and a little girls laughter coming from out of nowhere. Then all of a sudden there's this little blonde girl giggling up at me."
I relaxed a little, my own smile starting to form.
"You weren't much older than some of my grandchildren," Peggy smiled happily. "Nick had no idea what to with both of you so I took you back to the lab. I got about 3 steps out of the door and here you both were again in front of me. Jared kept asking to be picked up. I couldn't say no."
"We were horrible children," I laughed quietly. It sounds like something we would have done as children. Jared was always leading me astray. Not that I ever complained much.
"Just curious children," Peggy gave my arm another squeeze. "So you both spent the day with me, you thoroughly enjoyed yourself trying to mimic my accent."
That explains where my obsession about mimicking British accents during school came from. I thought it was just from Professor Xavier. Turns out it started a lot younger than that. Funny how little things you do in life can come from something you don't even remember.
"You were good kids," Peggy smiled up at me. "And you've grown into amazing adults. Hazel is so proud of everything you've accomplished."
"There are days where I feel like getting out of bed in an accomplishment," I brushed off Peggy's praise. I could feel my cheeks heating in embarrassment yet again. At least out here I could blame the sun for giving my face a pink tinge. "I got lucky that Barton and Romanoff wanted me. I don't think anyone else would have trained me so well. It's a privilege to work with them."
"At least your dealings with Natasha are happy," Peggy scrunched her nose up. "The last run in I had with someone from the Red Room program was less than pleasant. From what I've heard of Agent Romanoff, she's 3 times as deadly as Dottie ever was."
I racked my brain trying to remember who Dottie was. It took a few moments to remember the stories Grams told us. She was a product of the early version of the Red Room. Peggy and Grams had run ins with her after World War 2. From memory it was something to do with Leviathan. But that's as far as my memory was stretching at the moment.
"I know, she kick my ass on a very regular basis but at least buys me coffee afterwards to remind me she still loves me," I joked.
That made Peggy laugh at me. Once her laughter died down we walked in a more comfortable silence. We came to a bench at the other end of the gardens where Peggy stopped.
"My old legs don't go quite as far as they used to," Peggy sunk down onto the bench. She patted the empty space next to her. I quickly sat down next to her gazing out over the gardens. Grams and Jared were talking animatedly with Dugan. From this far I couldn't see much, but the laughter from the conversation carried across the quiet space every so often. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Peggy watching them with a sad smile on her face.
"This isn't a casual visit is it?" I asked after studying Peggy for a few moments.
"No sadly it isn't," Peggy's smile fell away from her face. Instead she now just had an uneasy look on her face. "His cancer is back. The doctor's gave him 2 months at most. Timothy is the last Howling Commando. Pretty soon they'll be nothing more than a legend told in stories and history books."
"Sorry to hear that feels a little insignificant," I couldn't think of anything else to say. What could you say to something like that? I hated hearing people say they were sorry after Riley died. Or some other meaningless empty words. I couldn't imagine sitting here waiting for your friend to die. Or being given a time limit on your life.
"We've all lived a full and incredible life," Peggy turned to me pushing a slightly forced smile on her face. "Of course there's been some bumps along the road but thats life. You take the good and the bad all together."
Peggy would know that well. If there was anyone who knew loss in their life, it was her. I knew the stories. The push she needed to join
"I'll be staying here as of next week too," Peggy continued. "After Daniel died, the house is just too big and empty for me to mange it alone. Besides, it'll be good to have a friend around to share bourbon with. Do you drink bourbon?"
"No way," I wrinkled my nose in slightly disgust. "Scotch or beer."
"I suppose that will have to do," Peggy sighed looking disappointed. But there was an amused twinkle in her eye. Thinking of who else drank bourbon made my good mood fall away. Wouldn't Riley love to be here right now, drinking bourbon with a Howling Commando and the ex Director of SHIELD. He admired Peggy as much as I did.
"As long as you don't murder the good scotch with ice than I suppose we can accommodate that," Peggy reached over and took my hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze before speaking again. "I suppose you keep hearing that it'll get easier, that you'll move on with your life soon enough?"
"And that it will get better," I tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace. Here I was ruining a perfectly good day because I couldn't think of Riley without getting upset. There was so many things that reminded me of him on a daily basis.
"After Steve went missing," Peggy paused. Even after all these years it looked like this was still hard to talk about. "I never thought I'd be the same again. People kept telling me to move on and that I'll get over it eventually. But something like that never fully leaves you."
My heart sank at hearing that. Here I was hoping by keeping busy that I'd be able to bury my grief and move on. But Peggy had still managed to do so much with her life. How did she keep going after everything that happened in her life?
"You can let it destroy you or you let it fuel you," Peggy looked out over the gardens as she spoke. "Let all the pain, the anger, guilt and the grief that hurts so bad push you to become a better person. To do some good in this world. You're so much like me Kari. Except you're in a time where you don't have to fight tooth and nail for respect simply because you're a woman."
Peggy words were like a breath of fresh air in my life. It was such a nice change from 'things will get better.' If scaring myself senseless was a fright enough to snap myself out of the depressed funk I'd fallen into. This was a slap across the face and a kick up the ass all at the same time to get myself going again. Combed with the happiness of kicking Rumlow's ass this morning, I hadn't felt more alive in weeks.
"I do quite enjoy seeing that arrogant son of a bitch Rumlow get his ass whipped by a little 9 stone girl," Peggy grinned at me, making the years fall away from her face. "That has made my year."
"You know Brock?" I was a little surprised. I didn't know Rumlow would be old enough to be around when Peggy was still Director. Now I thought of it, I had no idea how old Brock actually was. I'd have to ask him.
"I may be a bit of a sticky beak and like to know what still goes on in SHIELD," Peggy didn't look the least bit apologetic. "Rumlow has always been a very ambitious man and rather ruthless when it suits him."
"That doesn't sound like the joking smartass that I know," I was surprised to hear that. I'd never seen that side to Rumlow. He'd been nothing but a good friend to me.
"Sometimes people aren't all they seem on the surface," Peggy got to her feet, stretching slowly as she went. "But as they go, you could do with plenty worse than Rumlow. Personality aside, he's a very good STRIKE leader. Come on, we better go see what the boys have gotten themselves into."
"Mischief and no good knowing my twin," I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if we made it back to where they were sitting to find a bottle of bourbon there. Jared wasn't a huge bourbon drinker, but he wouldn't knock one back either. I got to my feet as well, wincing as my sore muscles started to make themselves known already.
"That runs in the family," Peggy teased. She hooked her arm back through mine again, this time using me for support as we started to walk back to the others. "Promise me you'll remember what I just said to you?"
"I promise."
It was an easy promise to make. If Peggy Carter was telling me to get off my ass and do some good with the incredible opportunity I'd been given in my life. Then I'd get off my ass and keep going.
"And do make it a habit to come and visit me when I move in here," Peggy's tone left no room to say no or for any argument. "I expect to hear many more amazing things about you. Lets go get some of that brunch before the boys eat it all."
Brunch extended well into afternoon tea. The day was full of laughs and plenty of old stories. Once I'd gotten over my initial shyness with Dugan, he was a lot of fun. It was late afternoon by the time Jared and I left. There was no dragging Grams and Peggy away from their old friend for another few hours. I had no doubt they would still be talking into the small hours of tomorrow morning. It'd been a good day.
I was dead on my feet and aching by the time we got back to our apartment. I leant against the wall waiting for Jared to unlock the door. He looked just as tired as I was feeling. He swung open the door and stepped back to let me in first.
2 steps into the hallway a body collided into mine. Half a second later a heavier weight slammed into me as well, sending a tangle of bodies crashing to the floor. It was Natasha who hugged me first, Clint a second behind her.
"Hey stranger," Natasha's voice was muffed in my shoulder as she hugged me hard.
"We missed you," Clint added, hugging Natasha and I together in a very awkward position.
"I missed you too," I felt a little choked up at their surprise appearance. "Both of you."
Nope scratch the good day bit. Today had been an awesome day.
Authors Note
Sorry for the VERY lengthy delay everyone. I've been sick again. I just don't have the energy or feel well enough to focus on a computer screen for too long. So this got typed out about 100 words at a time.
Updates will be a bit sporadic until I'm feeling better. In the meantime please feel free to contact me via PMs here. Or find me on Facebook, my profile is on my Authors Profile here. I'm rather bed bound and it does get a bit boring! Reviews feed my soul and make my day. So drop a line, just to say hi.
I hope everyone enjoyed Peggy Carter in this chapter. There's a few references here from the TV series Agent Carter. It's quite good if you feel like binge watching something. It starts off slow but really kicks it up a few notches halfway through the first season.
Until next time.
