Hello there! I was late last week, but on time this week, so does that make this technically early?! No idea. But its a BIG chapter for you today! Hope you enjoy the new POV I'm giving a shot here, and I hope you like the progress with the rest of the chapter!
OVERHAUL POV
Things were starting to move. It wouldn't be long until the League of Villains made contact again, wanting the results from their experiments. They intended to broaden their reach, so the Yakuza was seen as a good stepping stone. They're previous leader, prior to his imprisonment, had seen the use of such an arrangement. Using Overhaul's keen mind to examine the blood of a target. Interesting blood it was too. A quirk based in Telekinesis, but also one in Endurance. The latter was weaker, but still present. They hadn't given a name, but considering the news coverage on Eraserhead's daughter, it wasn't hard to deduce. The League wanted all manner of tests done, and full access for their Vision associate. Creepy bastard. But clearly they had plans upon plans. If nothing else, he could admire the diverse approach.
Overhaul didn't mind working with the previous leader, All for One had at least held some class. But the work was nearly finished, and then would come the rest. His plans, bubbling in the background, would soon have space to flourish.
No, the League wouldn't lead the world into a new age. He would. Where he was driven, the League were melodramatic; riling everyone up, making noise. Small time crooks had started to consider themselves big time Villains simply because they had banded together and cooked up a flimsy scheme. Morons. Fools. And all so filthy. The heat of summer never helped, but with All Might out of the picture, the filth seemed to linger. Not that he missed All Might, but at least it had been easier to walk around the city and come out clean.
But still. The world was changing, and he intended to make the change the one he wanted. After all, his vision would help. It would fix things. So many powers scattered–even the lowest rats could claim some kind of quirk. He kicked a can and marched down an alley. He had to wash his hands. The air itself seemed to be sticking to him as the night drew on. Laughter from crooks, worried mutters from taxi drivers and food vendors. And most, even the weak civilians, bubbling with some kind of power. So wrong. It was all so wrong.
"I'll fix it." He grumbled, trying to focus on the sweet scent within his mask rather than the sticky heat of the night seeping into his clothes.
There was so much work to do. He had to make arrangements. Shigaraki was clearly illogical–a child playing god. Negotiating with children was always troublesome–Eri was a testament to that. So there had to be a piece of leverage to use against Shigaraki. To control his little band of misfits. Something to hold against them, an ace up Overhaul's sleeve.
Perhaps Eraserhead's daughter would be helpful in more ways than one.
ALEX POV
I'm drying my hair after my bath when an explosion sounds outside. It's far off on campus, but definitely on campus. I freeze, eyes fixed on the window. Sho draws back the curtain to my balcony, revealing a smoking horizon, near one of the training areas. The light is orange, not blue. Right? I pull my dressing gown around me, opening the balcony door and stepping out to get a better look. The air is thick tonight–humid, ready to boil over. Smoke continues to rise. I peer. It seems to be where our class usually do their team exercises.
It won't be a villain. If it was a villain intending to attack dorms, they wouldn't start over there. It's obviously just for training, an empty set facade. So if a Villain were able to evade the defences, they should be able to identify the inhabited buildings. Therefore… not a Villain. My heart calms. It must be a teacher training or a student out beyond hours.
Another explosion.
The bubbling light and crackling impact makes me grip the balcony railing. No, not blue flames, but I know that fire. It's Bakugo's quirk. My arm stings, our argument only an hour or so ago. I guess his jog hadn't cleared his head. Someone will have alerted the faculty, and no doubt gone to Dad as it's his student. Assuming I'm not wrong, but I like to think I can recognise an explosion after having watched it blossom over my shield a couple times.
Sho's hand lands on my waist. "What do you think it is?"
For once, I seem to be ahead of Mr Prodigy.
I put my hand atop his. "I think Bakugo is struggling more than any of us realised."
My phone buzzes a second before Sho's: from the class chat, Dad wants everyone to meet in the common area. He doesn't sound impressed. But at least he doesn't seem overly alarmed either. Bit by bit my nerves calm with the confirmation of it not being a Villain.
We gather, most of us in dressing gowns or pajamas. Any other dorm that had noticed would assume a student breaking the rules. But us? First, we arrive at a more sinister answer. I squeeze Ura's shoulder, smiling at her as she nervously fidgets. She smiles and nods.
Dad sighs as it's confirmed that both Bakugo and Midoyria are missing. Midoryia as well? Shit. When I spoke to Bakugo he mentioned Midoryia, but I thought it was in passing. So much for my skills of observation.
Dad ties back his hair. "Thank you for gathering quickly. The fact is, Bakugo and Midoryia have broken curfew, and I wanted to check if anyone else was missing. Along with that, it's to assure you it's just them being morons. The campus is secure, you are perfectly safe."
At least half of the class deflates. I hate that my friends can't even hear someone training without assuming their lives are in danger–we all stopped being kids at the USJ. Although I guess my 'stopping being a kid' moment likely came before that. But still. I hate it.
He slings on a jacket. "Return to your rooms and get some rest, I'll be collecting the idiots and applying appropriate punishment. No Kirishima, you will not be accompanying me. That will be Alex as she can hold the idiots apart if need be. Is that all right, Alex?"
"You got it." I smile at the class. "I'll get them back guys, don't worry."
Iida sighs. "Such foolhardy behaviour. If I may ask, what do you think the punishment will be, Mr Aizawa?"
"Depends how angry I still am once I've hauled myself over there." Dad yawns and waves at the group. "Disperse, sleep, don't leave your rooms. I am low on patience."
"Yes, sir!" They head for their rooms.
Sho kisses my cheek and leaves with everyone else. I had pulled on pajamas under my dressing gown before coming to the meeting, so I just tug on my boots for heading outside. I look fabulous.
Dad heads for the front door. "Don't ask for leniency in this, Alex. This is bullshit."
"Or an overflow from earlier, and still attached the ongoing issue of Bakugo being fucking messed up over All for One, and no one being able to tackle that." I stroll past him as he opens the door, but stall as I see Toshi on the front stoop. He lowers his hand from reaching for the buzzer and gives a meek wave. My guilty eyes focus on his shoes. "Uh… what you doing here, Toshi?"
"I wanted to catch your Father before he went to sort this incident."
I look back to Dad, his brow is raised but listening.
Toshi clears his throat. "I've known these two since before they came to UA, and I've given the pair quite a bit of thought, will you leave them to me for now?"
Well that was to the point, Toshi is learning how to deal with Dad pretty well.
Dad pinches the bridge of his nose. "All right we all go initially, I'll let you and Alex lead, if you think you can handle it I'll head back alone before they've seen me. Too many teachers will just put the morons on the defensive, but I'm coming in case they need their quirks cancelled."
I nod. "Sounds good. Though I doubt either would…" I stop myself, tugging on my sleeve. I had been about to say 'I doubt either would use their quirks on us' but there was a rather glaring issue in that claim, lying under my bandaging.
We start along the path.
Dad sighs. "I'm surprised Midoryia has so boldly gone against the rules. Bakugo less so."
I smirk. "Yeah but that's kinda why you like Bakugo Dad, you can admire the stubbornness."
He rolls his eyes. "Mm, sure. But I can't say I respect it when it's interrupting my evening off."
We head briskly towards the training grounds, the shouts and carnage close ahead. I'd like to think that neither would actually hurt the other, but my bandaging makes me uneasy. But that had been an accident. Dad and Toshi are theorising what is the root of this fight, and the ongoing tensions between Bakugo and Midoryia. And yes, they've been helped by my insights, but I see no reason to chime in now. When it comes down to it, I have a heavy bias. Both boys are my friends, and I share trauma with Bakugo.
Having said all that, I don't condone this shit.
Not only did they give me a fucking heart-attack, they gave it to the whole class. Beyond that. This isn't communication–this is measuring dicks and being loud. I think. Unless they're actually making progress. A girl can hope. Though, I have to wonder how far my naivety can go.
Dad nudges my shoulder. "I may have to be harsh."
"That's fine, that's your job." I frown at my boots. "Just… Don't go ignoring the fact that everyone works through shit differently. You of all people know this, Mr Brooding."
Toshi snorts. "How does it feel to be analysed by your own daughter?"
"Fantastic. Except the occasional rampant hypocrisy." Dad grumbles, ruffling my hair.
I smile, but keep my eyes low. He's not wrong. Even now, walking alongside Toshinori, I know I couldn't meet his eyes properly. Between what was potentially revealed this morning by All for One at Tartarus, and my ongoing inner wrestling match over whether or not I'm culpable for the demise of All Might as a symbol, his presence makes me beyond anxious. Examining my guilt needs to be done–but right now, I haven't the time or the energy.
We reach the training grounds. It sounds more controlled than before.
Toshi steps forward. "All right, if this is rooted in what we think it is, I better go in alone first."
I lay a hand on top of my injured arm. "I'll go round the side. I… I better not appear unless really necessary. If you don't need my quirk, don't mention I'm here."
They both frown.
I shrug. "Bakugo only sees me as meddling right now, I'm a big part of the reason he's ended up in this bad mood tonight. Seeing me won't help, and no doubt Midoryia would be quick to defend me, giving them more reason to squabble."
Neither of them look happy about this summary, but neither of them can argue either.
I smile. "If my power isn't needed, I'll just head back to dorms."
Dad tucks my hair back. "You're a good friend to them, Alex. I'm sure Bakugo will eventually come to accept that."
"Not the focus here, Dad. But thanks." I wink and head round the side of the training area.
Dad returns to Dorms, his power not being needed. Plus, he'll be better served dealing with the students back there, lets him calm down and devise a punishment.
The fight is still happening. I get within a building of their tussle and stay out of sight, unless I peer round a corner to check on them. Kind of. They are rather flying through the air like maniacs. I should really work on my flight. I reckon I'd be quite good at that eventually.
This fight has been a long time coming. I just hope it does some good as well as property damage. If they're going to work as pro colleagues, they need to get past petty rivalries. Without that, they can't grow. And they have to. Both have so much potential.
I lean against a wall and try not to start muttering pleads to the universe.
I want my friends to succeed, to keep progressing. Midoryia has accomplished so much in such a short time. I've never known someone so passionate about being a hero, about helping people. Not the glory, not the fame, not really even winning–he wants to be the reason people can sleep soundly and not fear the darkness. As for Bakugo. I'm less sure. I know he admires All Might, but in the sense of always winning. Does that also mean he always wants to save people? Or is saving people second priority? Nah. That doesn't sound right. The fact is, he's still a good guy. He's harsh, but he's come a long way since that asshole I met at the start of the year. He's trying. He's really trying. The world's just been throwing spanners in the way. How much does it still bother him that the League wanted to recruit him? Does it impede him or drive him? I'd ask, but I'd likely get shoved out the door before getting an answer.
Especially now.
Their fight is so violent, both being so powerful. Rage boils between them; the need to reach each other as well as keep each other at a distance. But it sounds like it might be peaking. I hope so. Toshinori has to speak to them, to make them see sense, see the strength in each other. Fuck. Please. Do what I fucking screwed up in trying to do in reaching Bakugo and helping him. Please Toshi. Help him.
I grip the bandage and grit my teeth. I screwed up so bad. I pushed too hard and now my friend is lashing out at the whole world. Dammit. Sometimes I just have no idea how to read people, I guess. Maybe. I suppose doubting myself isn't going to help anyone either.
This hero stuff is tricky.
"I won't… Lose… to you!" Bakugo screams right before there's a final pulse of energy and the whole area shudders. The explosion is contained but dammit if it wasn't powerful. I think he fired them both into the ground, like a missile.
Then it's still.
I think they're finished.
I stare ahead, the dark alleyway staring back, echoing my racing heart into my ears. There's so much emotion wrapped up in their messed up relationship. But at the end of the day, it's all driven by that love of All Might. That symbol that shone to them both as kids. One saw his smile, his want to inspire. The other saw his ability to always win.
I look at my own shaken hands–what did I see in All Might?
Cold, shivering and staring up at those screens. When I kept fooling myself that I didn't want that, that all I needed was to survive. What did that Alex see? Did she see someone to inspire, or someone who won? I'd always seemed to be losing. So maybe victory sounded good. Or maybe… Maybe I just fancied being the one in the light. Not pushed past, shoved aside. Used.
Midoryia coughs.
Bakugo growls. "That's it. We're done here." He pants hard, the battle having taken its toll on both of them. "I won this fight. You have All Might's power, but even using his st-strength, even after making it your own, somehow you still managed to lose to me."
I peer. Bakugo has Midoryia completely pinned. He's glaring, nose bloody, arms torn up, every bit his usual image of power and rage; yet his voice is shaken. Cracking. He's unsteady. Unsure. I trace the bandage on my arm, it lingering in the same spot as his own marks from his fight with Midoryia. Bakugo… I'm so sorry.
"Why?" He demands, gritting his teeth. "How could you lose?"
I dunno if it's even that he's angry at Midoryia anymore. That question. It's like Bakugo can't believe Midoryia lost to someone like Bakugo, as if he thinks of himself as entirely unworthy. Dammit, I wish we'd gotten here faster, to know more about what the hell is going on in his head.
"Stop this right now!" Toshinori yells, marching up the main road at long last. Good thing too. With Bakugo starting to sound angry again, I was wondering if I needed to step up. "Both of you. I'm sorry, but I've heard what you've said."
It took me longer to go around, so maybe Toshi heard more of their argument. I hope so. Someone should understand. Someone needs to help them.
Bakugo stands, wavering. "All Might."
Midoryia manages to look, body not looking keen on movement. "When did you get here?"
Toshi sighs, steps steady as he approaches the duo. "I didn't notice before, I should have…"
"It's too late now." Bakugo looks away, eyes downcast.
It's like looking into a mirror. You can't stand to look at Toshi for more than a couple seconds, can you Bakugo? It churns your stomach. Makes you realise everything you think you caused. But you didn't. You idiot. My chest burns as if Dabi is branding me right now, toying with me to get Bakugo to comply. Damn it, this was me. Fuck it. It was me.
"Why did you pick Deku?"
I blink.
Midoryia jolts.
Bakugo keeps going, sounding on the verge of tears. "It started when the sludge villain came, didn't it? So why him?"
"He was powerless, but still more heroic than anyone else." Toshinori answers simply, no edge to his voice, no anger or judgement. Just the simple fact that Midoryia inspired something in him. Even now, the grainy footage is clear in my mind. That wacky kid flinging himself into the fight with no sign of a quirk. Mad, but brave.
Toshi continues. "I knew you were strong, that much was obvious. You were someone who could already fight. So I decided that he should have a chance to stand in the ring."
The smoke continues to clear as my eyes cloud over with tears.
Bakugo bares his teeth. "But now you know I'm weak too. I always wanted to be like you, which meant being as strong as possible. But look what I did to you. B-Because I'm not good enough…"
I kneel and put my head against the wall. I didn't manage to reach Bakugo at all. Not a single word got through.
Toshi stops approaching just shy of Bakugo. "This is not your fault young Bakugo. I was always going to lose my power. You couldn't do anything to change that."
Is that true? I know Midoryia and Toshi have that connection, that Toshi is giving his power to Midoryia. But was that really always going to lead to this? No. That's just it. Toshi is still strong in his own way. What I hate is that he was almost killed, that he was dragged into that mad scenario. Yes, he was saving me and Bakugo, but I was the reason we were both taken. Shit. No, it's not your fault Bakugo, we were both victims, like I said. But I could have avoided it. You had avoided it. You weren't going to be captured until I… Until I fucked up.
Toshi keeps going. "You are strong, but I focused too much on your physical strength, and overlooked what was important. This isn't your burden." He reaches out, clasping a hand to Bakugo's head, pulling the broken kid against his chest. "I apologise, sometimes I forget that you're children."
Bakugo almost leans in. Almost lets it happen, I swear I saw it. But no. At the last second, he shrugs back, swatting the hand away, walls up and anger out.
Toshi takes it, because of course he does. "After being a hero for so many years, you learn a few things. Striving to be the best, like you young Bakugo. And caring deeply about people, about rescuing those in trouble, like you young Midoryia. Both of those feelings are necessary in a hero. Otherwise they'll never truly be able to represent justice."
You need both.
Of course you do.
Kinda obvious once he said it.
"That's why you admired his strength so much, young Midoryia. And I know that's why you've always feared his heart and spirit, young Bakugo. Now that you've laid your feelings out on the table, maybe you can understand each other. If you have mutual respect, and focus on making one another stronger, I've no doubt you'll become the ultimate heroes, winning and saving people at the same time."
A light appears in both Midoryia and Bakugo's eyes at these words. They look at each other for a moment, and for that moment I find myself hoping that Toshi got through. But is the damage done too great? I dunno. It doesn't seem like I'm a good judge of much at all.
"Dammit…" Bakugo slumps to the ground, curled in on himself. "That's not what I wanted to hear."
At least he seems to be listening.
"You…" he starts, and Midoryia jolts, likely expecting a fresh punch. "You had the strongest guy in the world lay the groundwork for you, don't you dare lose again."
Midoryia nods. "I'll work harder. So that I can beat you."
I'm sorry, work harder?! Fucking how?! You already train like a maniac and… oh wait, I'm not actually a part of this conversation. Shush Alex. Shush. But dammit, Midoryia is so damn determined. I never know whether to be inspired or scared. My friend is going to be a great hero, but I really don't want him to lose himself in the process. I guess I should keep that in mind for myself. With all the crazy stuff going on, I can't lose track of who I am.
Bakugo heaves a long sigh. "Okay, talk. Who knows about you two?"
Uh oh. Do I need to scamper?
"Recovery girl and principal Nezu do, as far as students go, only you… and Alex."
"Alex?" Bakugo looks up, glaring at Toshi for a couple seconds. "Guess she was closer to the action at Kamino."
"Yes, she overheard things that needed explained. But also, she knew of my withered form due to being in the Teacher's lounge so often."
Bakugo nods slowly, but his fists are still clenched. Maybe he's pissed I knew and didn't tell him? Nah, he must understand the gravity of the secret. So why does he look so angry? Then again, it could simply be my name. I crossed a line tonight, I think. And I have no idea how to uncross it. Or if I have the energy to figure that out.
They seem totally calm now, no doubt Toshi will get them back to Dorms. Then they can deal with Dad's wrath. I head back by myself, taking another route to avoid them seeing me in the distance.
It's so quiet out here this late, not even bird song interrupts my steps on the path. I stop myself scanning the perimeter, well aware my sleepy state could end up imagining blue flames. Or even light blue hair. I shake my head and focus on my steps, and the small victory of my back not being too sore. It's barely aching. Maybe my bath helped.
I sigh and get myself back to my own room, quickly texting Dad that I've returned and that he'll have punishment to hand out soon.
It doesn't take long to get a reply.
Dad: [Did you have to use your quirk?]
Me: {Nah, they didn't know I was there. Best to leave me out of it.}
Dad: [Bakugo will come round, Alex. Give the dumbass some time.]
Me: {He can have all the time he wants, I'm staying out of it. I only make it wors…} I stop typing. I delete the words. I'm tired, and apparently I'm feeling delicate. That helps no one, and will only make Dad worry.
I try again.
Me: {I can attempt patience. You do the same, ok? What will their punishment be?}
Dad: [I was thinking house arrest. Maybe some extra chores or something.]
Me: {Sounds good. Though… keeping them locked up together all day? Might help, I guess.}
Dad: [I will yell a suitable amount to get some docile behaviour, promise.]
I smirk.
Me: {Glad to hear it old man, goodnight.}
Dad: [Night kid, thanks for the help, even if it wasn't needed]
Me: {Anytime, you know that xx}
And I leave my phone on my desk, turn off my light and flop into bed. Back to class tomorrow. Back to work and catching up.
Second semester, here I come.
My pen bounces off the English paper. My answer needn't be overly poetic, but I know Hizashi appreciates a bit of effort. Sorry, Present Mic. I keep doing that. I lean on my free hand and watch Cherry Blossom drift past, turning the outside school grounds into a pink snow storm.
What do I want to achieve as a hero?
I mean, every idiot is gonna put 'world peace' or something, aren't they? But it's a pipedream. There'll always be villains, there'll always be desperate people pushed to crime. It's just how we are for the time being. I reckon we're a long way off anything else. So if not that, what? What the hell do I want to achieve as a hero? C'mon brain. Think.
A figure walks along the edge of the football field, kicking up blossoms, hands in their pockets. If I didn't know Dad was holding a class in the next room I might have guessed it was him with his hair tied up–except there's no capture weapon either. Tall, lean and dressed in black. Who the hell is that? A new teacher? Visiting parent?
I shake my head and focus. I'm letting myself get distracted to avoid facing the apparently obvious issue that I have no idea what I want to do with my career. Come on! I was raised by a pro hero. His aim? Destroy all social media. I smirk and look back to the window. The figure is gone. A deep sense of unease settles in my gut, the kind that appears when you're sure you just saw a shadow move at the other end of a supposedly empty corridor. Oh boy. I'm being dramatic in my head instead of the paper. I roll my eyes. I'm in school, what the hell could happen on campus? The defences are functioning. We're fine. Beyond that, all the pro hero teachers are here, they keep us safe.
Bingo.
I smile at the calm settling over my chest. Of course. That's it. I want to make people feel safe, even if only in moments like that. They'll consider it's my patrol night and feel safe in their beds. Kinda like All Might, though let's be real, I'd never aim to be the Symbol of Peace. Like I could. But something in that vein, something in that idea.
Now how to word it…
My paper flutters for a moment and the room grows still. I look up from my work but find the room quiet and working. No. Just quiet. No one is moving. No writing, fidgeting or sneakily checking phones. Totally still, like Sho had frozen them solid. Everyone except Hizashi. He frowns and tilts his head, bright eyes glaring at me. He slowly moves forward in long strides, hands clenching.
Is something happening? Can only we notice it?
"Hizashi wha–"
"You did it, didn't you?" His voice is a low whisper but sharp like a knife. "You really did it…"
His nose wrinkles in disgust as his eyes rake over me, mouth twisting into a grimace. It looks like he's going to be sick. In that moment, he hates me, it radiates from him as he looms.
He shakes his head. "You killed them."
I lean back. "Wh-Who?"
"Your parents, you psycho."
"What? No I–"
"You ripped their spines out their backs and left them there to die, man. All bloody and ruined."
"Hiz please, I–"
"Shit, that's some cold killing. You gonna do that to all of us?"
What?
Shivering takes over my whole body. What's he saying? What's he accusing me of?
Cold sinks into me and a ripping noise fills my ears, it's deafening, like a thousand pages being torn in half. I try to close my eyes, but can't. Instead, I scan the room. Everyone is bent over their work like normal, but now their backs are ripped open, shirts stained red, flesh falling away in wet piles. Their spines float above, slowly drawing together in a big mass of bloodied bone in the centre of the room. It starts to spin.
Hiz lurches, his own jacket starting to tear. "Y-You gonna do that… nngh… to all of us?"
Rip. Tear. Blood.
"No!" I scream, standing away from my desk. My chair slams into the floor.
"Whoa there girl, what's going on?" Hizashi gets up from the desk at the front of the class and comes over. His hands, warm and steady land on my arms, vivid green eyes searching my face with the usual affection I knew and loved. No malice. No hate.
I try to catch a breath. What happened?
I look around. No blood, no bones, no torn shirts and gaping wounds. No. The entirely unhurt room has turned to me in alarm. Ura is half stood from her chair and Sho's making his way over. Mina starts to rise as well. They didn't see anything?
A dream. Just a dream.
But when did I fall asleep? I look at my hands and find my nails are bloodied, palms littered with crescent marks that weep with each panicked flutter of my heart.
A waking dream. The Vision Villain? Here?
Hizashi looks to Sho. "Todoroki can you go get me Eraserhead from–"
"N-No I'm fine." I wipe my hands haphazardly on my skirt. I push past and make for the corridor. "S-Sorry to interrupt. I'll be right back."
"Uh… Right."
The corridor's empty. I think. Am I awake now? Was it the figure in the compound? Was that the vision guy?
I go to the banister by the window and lean against it, the cold metal pleasant against my tiny wounds. I'm trembling, but I guess that's no shock. I haven't been sleeping well, but that's hardly new. Falling asleep in class isn't something I do, there's so much still to learn and catch up on. I don't sleep in class. It has to be the vision guy. But how did he reach me? I'm in school. I'm… I'm meant to be safe…
I gulp, gripping the banister tighter.
"Alex?"
I spin to face Sho, and his eyes drift to my hands as they nearly slip on the bar. I need to get some tissues, I need to clean up, I need to get a fucking grip. I try to turn, to wipe the offending red away, but suddenly his arms are around me from behind, holding me close.
"Breathe." He soothes, taking long slow breaths for me to match. I try, but the air's like tissue paper, fluttering but not taking hold. Pressure builds in my chest. My power fluctuates.
"You can do it." He encourages.
Even now, me being so erratic and stupid, he doesn't doubt. I keep trying and after a few moments, my lungs don't ache so bad. My power fades. Control returns.
His arms give a gentle squeeze. "Well done." He kisses my cheek, and only then do I realise it's wet with tears. "What's going on?"
"I don't know." I sniff and try to claw back some damn composure, but my heart is still racing. I turn in his hold, checking the corridor a few too many times. Eventually Sho has to cup my face simply to get me to stay still.
"Talk to me, Alex."
"I had a weird d-dream."
"In class?"
I bite my lip. "It felt so real."
"But you were awake, you were working… At least it looked like it."
"I… In the dream, H-Hizashi hated me. He loathed me. He started y-yelling about my parents, how I killed them. Then… Th-Then I ripped all your s-spines out. They were just floating there, bleeding all over the carpet. It was horrible. I couldn't sto–"
He pulls me close, stroking a hand through my hair and rocking slightly. My power flutters, but I keep it contained, my back beginning to throb. I can't lose it again. I have to keep a lid on this before I become a liability.
I nuzzle his chest. "Am I going mad, Sho?"
"No, of course not."
"It fucking feels like it."
"You're not mad. We should tell the teachers though."
"Wh-Why?"
"What if it was the Vision Villain again? On the grounds somehow?" He landed right on the same track as me, and he didn't even see the figure. Sho is far too clever for his own good. "Did you see something before the vision happened?"
"I don't know. I… We should tell the teachers, you're right."
"Tell us what?" The warm baritone of Toshinori rumbles nearby. Sho slowly lets go of me. I dip my head to our Sunflower-esq teacher and look along the corridor behind him. Paranoia isn't far behind, is it? Nothing is there though, only his ever more concerned gaze. "Alex? Todoroki? What's happened?"
Sho nudges me. "You want me to explain?"
"No it's fine. S-Sorry Toshi, I just… In class I had this dream. A v-vision, I guess."
He frowns and kneels, taking my hand in his big bony ones. He turns it over and winces at the sight of the blood. Yeah. Not normal.
He keeps cradling the wounded hand, but looks up with something near anger. "Have you been withholding issues–"
"No, I haven't." I try to take back my hand. He refuses to let go. "I swear, it was just now. In class with Hiza–Present Mic. I just… I saw…" I close my eyes but the image is right there so I throw them open again, pursing my lips against the want to scream.
Sho explains the images and guilt replaces anger in those bright blue eyes.
Toshinori sighs. "I knew we shouldn't have let you near All for One. He's got into your head. You know we're still looking into his claims, Alex. There's no reason to believe–"
"But if it's true… You'd tell me, right?"
Uncertainty mixes with the guilt.
It's my turn to glare. "You have to tell me."
"If it's true or not, it was so long ago that–"
"I need to know." I pull my hand free.
The bell goes and suddenly there's noise everywhere, students surge from one room to another, teachers amble along and murmur about the need for coffee. I don't break eye contact with Toshinori, even as he looms with the kind of pity that makes me want to vomit. I was a victim of All for One's, yes. But I am not a victim overall.
He nods. "Very well. Either way, you'll be told as soon as we know."
"Promise?"
He grits his teeth. "Yes. I promise."
I wipe my hands again, making them both flinch. "Thanks. We better get back to class Sho."
"But your hands–"
"I'll be fine. C'mon, I've interrupted everyone's day enough."
Class continues as we had a double lesson. I do my best to focus. But how do I answer this question now? What do I hope to achieve as a hero? What kind of a hero has nightmares in the middle of the day, and maybe killed her own parents? With my nerves like this, I'm as dependable as sugar in rain. But I'm still recovering right? Maybe. I put my things away and give Hizashi an apologetic look as I hand in paper with only the odd dot from my bouncing pen. He ruffles my hair and sends me on my way to lunch.
Right, some food might help.
I stand in line with Sho, Iida and Ura, they chat about class and our upcoming training regime. Yeah it's going to be intense–I'll need to take extra painkillers for it. Since the vision I've had spasms coming and going. I'll have to ask Shinsou if he fancies joining us as well, he could do with the extra training. I know he'll love to be included. Maybe I could ask Toshinori for some tips as well, see what he has to say about my supposed ultimate move. Then again, he's probably busy and hardly needs salt rubbed into old wounds–
A hand grips my elbow, holding me upright.
I blink.
I'm holding my lunch, we're at the head of the line, but I'm half buckled over. What the hell? When did I get my food? What happened after? Sho slowly helps me back up, ensuring my food is level before taking the tray and handing it to Iida. He then leads me out of the canteen, noise bubbling up behind us in our wake.
I keep trying to say that I'm fine. I'm just tired. But words don't want to cooperate. My legs keep buckling, my eyes go in and out of focus. I don't know if Sho is trying to get my attention or not, the noise in my head like an endless car horn. Keep your power dormant. I just try to focus on that as my body feels disconnected. Shit. I can't lose control like this. Of my emotions, or my power, or my fucking body!
I could kill them all at any moment, like the vision.
Shit. I'd barely have to try. Rip. Tear. Blood. Over and over, never stopping. The colours stop and it's like I'm staring down a tunnel. I can't breathe. They need to get away from me. They need to run. They need to–
Cold shoots along the back of my neck, and as I gasp.
Where am I?
The room clears and I stare at mis-matched eyes and dark ones. Sho and Dad. I swallow hard and look down, a bucket sits between my feet, my elbows rest on my shaking knees and my breathing gasps in and out. I'm sitting on the teacher lounge sofa, sunlight comes in huge patches from big windows. I smell good coffee. Yeah… It's the teachers lounge. When the hell did I get here?
"Alex?" Sho says, chilled hand retracting from my neck as he kneels in front and puts his warm hand to my cheek. "Alex?"
I blink hard, hot tears pouring down my cheeks. "I… What the…"
Sho shushes me and Dad sits next to me, hand running up and down my back. I'm shivering and I'm sure that bucket's been cleaned recently. Had I already thrown up? Shit. I accept some water and take a few minutes to steady my breathing.
"You can return to class now, Todoroki. Please inform Midnight why Alex isn't going to be attending the afternoon classes."
"Of course, sir. I uh… I'll see you back at the dorms, Alex."
"I'll make sure she texts you." Dad's voice thrums into me, his hand never stopping its movement. It was great to have Sho nearby, of course, but having Dad beats everything else. As soon as the door closes, I lean into him and turn slightly to cling to his scarf.
"Dad… What happened?"
"Full blown panic attack it seems. You got disorientated in the canteen, and then by the time you got to this floor you were basically made of jelly. Todoroki managed to carry you of course, and did his best to calm you down. By the time I got here you'd already been sick and were hyperventilating." Dad's voice offers no judgement or anger, he's simply laying out the facts. I cling tighter. "I'd say it's all right, kid, but I don't know what's wrong." He kisses my hair.
I sniff. "N-Neither do I…"
"Hizashi mentioned you got spooked in class, but didn't want me to be sent for? Todoroki suggested I speak with All Might for some reason. Fancy clueing your old man in?"
Again, no judgement, just a simmering worry.
"Didn't want to bother you." I sniff, clinging tighter still when he tries to lean back. "I kn-know I'm not a burden, I just didn't think it was a big deal. Stupid dream in class."
"You dreamt in class? You never fall asleep in–"
"Sorry, no. I… I meant, v-vision."
"Vision…" He forces me to sit back. "Alex, if the vision guy has managed to get to you here then–" he stops and pulls me close. "Sorry. Obviously that's where your head went already, hence the panic."
"But I was fine! I went to get lunch, I was talking, laughing. Why… Why did I suddenly–"
"Breathe." He soothes, and I count to ten, the words having gotten away from me. "Funnily enough I know what it is to be one of those people that are the last to know if they're stressed. Mine turns up in a want to smoke. Yours… Well I guess your body is still figuring that shit out." He sighs and sits back, holding me to his chest.
"I thought I saw someone by the football field before it… before I saw the vision."
He hums. "All right. I'll look over the camera footage from the campus, okay? See if there was any sign of anything weird. Stay in here for now, please?"
I nod but don't move. "I don't wanna be a basket-case Dad."
He strokes my hair. "You're not. You're a kid who's had to deal with a lot of shit very quickly. Not many heroes have ever had to endure more than a couple mental attacks in their whole careers, let alone within the first year of their studying. You're doing great. We all just need to tread carefully." He kisses again and we lie there for a few minutes. He's too kind to me.
The bell rings for the end of lunch.
I sit up and scrape my hair back. "You should go. I'll be fine in here for the afternoon."
"All Might will likely be here in a few minutes. He usually lingers to train with Midoryia, who I have allowed training sessions specifically with him. Not sure the guy has much of a home-life to be honest." He stands and straightens his scarf. "Might do you both good to talk about things. He's not been right since that fight with All For One. Pretty obvious why in some ways, but others… not sure."
I snort. "Why would he talk to me?"
"You were there." He frowns. "Don't discount yourself Alex, he holds you in high regard." Then he nods and leaves, closing the door behind him and leaving me to sit and watch the sun slowly crawl along the grey carpet.
I lay back on the sofa and stare at the ceiling fan. The noise in my head has lessened thankfully.
Stress… The last one to know…
It was true, Dad usually ended up half opening a cigarette packet before realising what he was doing. Then he'd look guilty and cast it into the bin. Habits. Habits so easily fallen back into. I bite my lip and think back to those dim rooms and wire beds. How had I coped back then? Other than screaming. I roll my eyes and cover my face with my hands. Darkness. Nothingness. I swallow hard, unable to even trust that much. How much had I been forced to forget, and how much had I simply blocked out? A lot of my time on the streets was blank–filled with things I simply didn't wanna remember. There were flickers, but beyond that, darkness.
Like the time a kid… Her name was… Sally? Maybe. Sally got hit by a bus. It started to snow, things got slippy. She got hit and then once the sun went down her breathing… I shake my head and find only oily darkness and the echoes of a whimpering girl asking me for help I couldn't give. So I had the habit of ignoring things? Of blocking out what scares me? Shit. Well that's heroic. That's bloody amazing for a pro hero to d–
"Hey, you fallen asleep over there?" Toshi's voice rumbles over as the door closes.
I shoot upright, nearly falling off the sofa.
He holds his hands out, smile uncertain. "Whoa there, sorry kid, I was only joking!"
"So-Sorry." I cough and smooth myself down, trying to hide my ongoing shaking. Turns out trying to dig deep into your habits for covering pain is a bit heavy. Shit. Why did I do this in public?
He lowers his hands, smile diminishing. "Kid… It's just me."
I stare; oversized suit hanging off him, large hands looking so odd against his tiny wrists. His hair splays out in all directions, bright yellow and so wild. His eyes bore into me, bright blue buried under dark shadows. I could have helped. I was right there, and I let All for One destroy him. Or even before that, at camp, I let myself get caught. Instead of staying with the group and staying safe, I went off alone. It's the only reason Bakugo went along with it. It's the only reason we were both taken. Me. My stupidity. My fault. My doing.
My knees buckle. I hit the floor.
All Might rushes over, hand on my shoulder as he tries to get my attention. I stare at his thin lips moving, his eyes going wide and searching my face for something. I don't know what. How can I be a hero when I killed my parents, when I'm the one who killed the Symbol of Peace?
"I'm so sorry." I whisper.
His mouth falls still and slack. His hand squeezes my shoulder and his eyes seem to search me for some kind of response. But he can't offer forgiveness. He likely doesn't even blame me. Why would he? I'm just the helpless girl who nearly snapped herself in half out of sheer weakness. He can't blame me because he pities me. I'm just a fragile little thing, needing protection. Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
He frowns, almost looking angry before he winces and covers his mouth with a handkerchief. Red bleeds through the fabric and his eyes are down-turned. Ashamed. The red is so bright against the white cloth, the pale complexion, the yellow of his hair and suit. Red. Blood. Wrong.
I sniff. "I'm so sorry–"
"Stop saying that." He coughs and wipes his lips, missing a bit at the corner. I wonder how often his skin gets stained by the colour. Daily? Hourly? He continues gruffly. "What on earth could you be apologising for, young Alex? You'll need to explain it to this old man, because he's lost."
"Your health. Bakugo getting taken. Kamino. Your… Your hero form… It's my fault." I blink, the truth tasting like vomit. But I can't deny it. I can't distract myself with looking after others instead. Fuck that. They deserve honesty from me. And that meant taking responsibility.
He shakes his head. "Didn't you hear me last night? When I spoke to young Bakugo?"
I nod.
He gets the last bit of blood. "This was going to happen at some point. My health's been declining for years, and All for One would have come for me eventually. You may have been his key, but you're not to blame. Far from it."
I shake my head harder. "If I hadn't got caught–"
"You wouldn't have ended up having to injure yourself to survive. You wouldn't have been there to keep young Bakugo from falling into despair. You wouldn't have been there to hold me up at the very end." He smiles softly and traces a thumb under my watering eyes. I hadn't realised he knew I held him up. "As wonderful and awful as those things are, that's the only way the situation changes."
"But–"
"Is this why you've been so nervous? Why you've not met my eye for… Well I guess since Kamino."
I stare at my hands. It sounds so pathetic.
He takes my hands in his and holds tight. "Young Alex, please speak to me."
"I can't get it out of my head. How much else I could have done to help."
The field, all smoke and noise, with two giants fighting overhead. And there I was, lying in my own blood, broken by my own power. I barely managed to save myself.
He sighs. "We can't save everyone. It's one of the hardest things for a hero to accept."
A hero.
Am I one of them? Do I count?
Can I count?
I close my eyes, pushing the dark thoughts back. Speak. Say it out loud and get a second opinion. This darkness, as much as it tempts me to do bad to others, it also tempts me to do bad to myself. I can't… I can't let it win.
"When I saw All for One, he said 'they' when he spoke about Heroes."
"I recall that, yes."
"It was like… Like I didn't count as a hero. Like he saw me as something else. Like he saw me as a villain like him."
It hardly helps me convince anyone that seeing All for one didn't mess with my head, but I guess it did. There's no point in denying that. I am glad I went. But it's left me with more questions than ever. Since Kamino he's haunted me. Perhaps he has all of my life, I just didn't know it.
"Why wouldn't you count as a hero?" His hands move, a finger tapping my chin to get me to look up. I look just under his eyes, but he waits. He waits a solid minute of silence until I finally drag my eyes up to his. No judgement. Not even pity, now. Understanding shines back in that bright blue.
"You know why, Toshi."
"Listen very carefully young lady." He shakes his head, voice calm, and quiet. "I know you're scared about the possibility of your past being bloody. I can appreciate, whilst refuting the need to, the fact you feel guilt for what happened at Kamino. I can applaud the want to take responsibility. But you are still a hero."
I open my mouth to argue but he just shakes his head again.
He continues. "You're a provisionally licensed hero well on her way to being a great pro."
"Why do you believe that?" I barely hear me, so I dunno how he did.
He smiles and taps the end of my nose. "Because at the end of the day, you're too god damn stubborn to do anything else. That's your strength Alex. Not your quirk, not your past, not your inability to curb profanity, the fact that you keep getting back up. You refuse to be defeated."
I frown. "I've woken in the hospital more times than a fuc–"
"And what have you done afterwards? You've returned to training, you've caught up, you've refused to be left behind." He smiles and I swear the sun just came out from behind a cloud. "You're amazing, young Alex. Just like the rest of your class."
I take a lungful of air. The darkness feels that little bit further away–still present, but in the corner of the room. Held back. I might not have forgiven myself yet, it might take me a long time to get to that point. But I can at least trust that this is how All Might, Toshinori, really sees me. For the most part. A small piece, right at the bottom of my gut, is where doubt lives. But I guess it always will. For now at least, in this moment, I can breathe a little easier.
I find myself laughing. Toshinori joins in. I have no idea what we're laughing about, but damn it feels amazing.
Toshinori pulls me over and hugs me close. For such a bony guy, he gives good hugs. "The last thing I would ever want, is to haunt you Alex. You know that, surely?"
I nod, I know that. I do.
Slowly I feel myself pull back together. Each little shard of me that had shifted loose in recent times, that became scattered by doubt and fear, they crawl back into place. And they stay there, held tight by Toshinori.
"How're you feeling?" He asks gently, not moving.
I give a final squeeze before sitting back, scraping my hair away from my tear stained but now dry face. "I think… I'm better. Thanks Toshi, you pulled my head right out of my–"
He laughs and shakes his head. "You're welcome. Fancy getting off the floor?"
"Sure. Fancy some tea?" I offer, knowing full well we could both do with one. He nods and I set the kettle onto boil. "Sorry about the sudden onslaught of uhm… well… emotions."
"Entirely understandable. You've had an intense time of it lately. We all have." He hums and lounges on the sofa, long legs easily reaching the table where he props his feet. "I had been meaning to say actually…"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for taking on my and young Midoryia's secret so willingly."
I set the tea to brew, smiling softly. "You're very welcome. Shall we call it even if you don't go telling everyone how much of an idiot I'm becoming?"
"Sure, as long as that's the last time you call yourself an idiot for recovering." He throws a pen at me and it bounces off the top of my head.
We chuckle together and I serve the tea, wiping my eyes yet again.
Today was a bad day to wear mascara.
Thanks for reading! And well done for getting through it all, haha! Cya next time ^-^ Thanks to everyone faving, following and leaving reviews, I love to hear from you guys. Be sure to check out SHOUTOUTS if you've left me one, I love chatting to you guys!
SHOUTOUTS
zikashugaku: Not a fan of pop up sites myself, I'll wait till it turns up on something. The first movie is on netflix, so hopefully the other one will turn up eventually! Thanks though! I'm glad you liked the chapter, I really really loved writing the scene between Alex and Bakugo. They are so alike in many ways, so its great to see them bounce off one another. And yes, I totally agree. I firmly believe that a true friend will not put up with your shit. Haha nice to know I'm in-tune with the movie :P I look forward to seeing it even more now. I love writing BF Sho, its great fun. But don't worry, I'm not intending him to be simply a side thing now. I see that in a lot of fics, where the couple gets together and then one half of the couple becomes a kind of non-entity. Not doing that! I love Sho as a character in his own right, not just as a love interest for Alex. Also lol, I'm glad he's raising the bar. It should be raised dammit. I'm curious to see what you thought of the Alex interactions with All Might in this chapter. I've been looking forward to this specific blow up a lot! Thanks YET AGAIN for reviewing, it means so much that you're still doing it and still enjoying the story! Thanks again and cya soon with another update ^-^
Animie02fruit: You left a 10/10 on chapter 1, so if you ever ever make it here, I hope you see this! Thanks for the kind words ^-^ I'm glad you enjoyed!
