It took about 3 seconds before people came running at us. It was surreal how quickly Jared was surrounded and we were pushed out of the way. I couldn't take my eyes off what was happening. I just sat on the floor in a shivering mess. In less than 30 seconds Jared had a bag value mask over his face, pumping air into his lungs while someone else started compressions on his chest. Questions were being shouted at us far too quickly for me to hear what was going on. Natasha seemed to be the only one who could keep her wits about her. Clint had fallen back next to me, silent and clutching at his side. He was bleeding rather heavily, just like I was. We'd both made quite a mess on the floor in the brief time we'd been here.

"Jared Nicholas Lyngley," I could hear Natasha clearly over everything going on. "SHIELD Agent number A078699."

"We've got SHIELD agents!" one of the nurses yelled over the commotion. "Get someone on the line from SHIELD for clearance."

"Agent Phil Coulson," Natasha said calmly before rattling off his number. "Where are we?"

"GW Hospital," someone supplied.

The George Washington hospital was the closest hospital to the Triskelion. It was also where Laura worked. Jared had brought us home. We really had made it. Even if it was only by the skin of our teeth. I sat back watching in numb shock as the doctors and nurses worked on him. I could only just see him through the crowd of bodies. His face had gone an unnatural shade of blue while lying on the ground completely motionless. It seemed like I'd been watching a lifetime until someone wheeled out a large trolley filled with medical supplies.

"Clear," all hands left him as a defibrillator was attached to his body. Jared body jolted as the electrical kick hit him. It was a tense wait to see what happened. Nothing did. People crowded around him again started compressions for another long tense minute.

"Nothing, try again."

Everyone's hands instantly left Jared as the defibrillator gave him another shock. I swear a lifetime passed as I sat there staring at my twins unresponsive body.

"We have a steady pulse. Come on son, start breathing for us too."

"He was given some sort of paralytic," Natasha supplied. She slumped to the floor, suddenly looking exhausted and completely grey. "Might be why he's not breathing."

The doctor who was working on Jared looked over to Natasha as she hit the floor. His brow crinkled in concern and he looked mildly horrified at the information she just gave.

"Holy mother of…." one of the nurse exclaimed before breaking off. She had one of Jared's hands in her own, now staring at the mess they were. Yelena had really done a number on them. The fingernails that weren't missing had at least 2 needles shoved in them. But the hand she was holding had what looked to be bamboo splinters shoved down his index finger. On closer look, all his fingers were dislocated, fat and purple from the abuse they'd been put through. It was enough to make my stomach churn. I swallowed down the bile that rose in my throat at the sight of all the needles.

"I'm not feeling so great," Clint muttered next to me. He lent over and promptly threw up. There wasn't much for him to throw up. But it was enough to get the attention of one of the nurses with Jared.

"Can we get some more help out here?" she yelled over the general commotion of the room. I suppose 2 people sitting in a pool of blood wasn't a good look. We'd certainly gathered quite a crowd of people gaping at everything. The people in the waiting room were getting a show from our drama. They'd be in for a bigger show once Coulson arrived.

A wave of nausea hit me really hard. It happened so quickly I threw up in Clint's lap before I could stop myself. Before I could apologise, Clint slumped from his sitting position and onto the floor. I still didn't have full control over my body. I ended up sprawled on the floor at an awkward angle. My thigh screamed in pain as the knife still stuck in it hit the floor. My vision wavered, black spots dancing on the edges of my vision due to pain. My hands worked enough to clutch at my thigh, as I lay there gasping. Suddenly I was on my back, the AWSM digging into my spine leaving even more bruises on my already battered body.

"Hi," an unfamiliar female face hovered over mine. A light suddenly shone in my eyes, causing me to blink even more. "What's your name Agent?"

"Kari," I closed my eyes against the light. It was just hurting my head more than anything else. "Lyngley."

"Can you tell me where you are Agent Lyngley? And open your eyes again please."

I squinted, bracing myself for the light to be in my face again. It hurt to have it flash and then go away several times.

"Apparently the GW hospital," I swallowed back the rising nausea again. The female doctor frowned at me and leant in closer to my face.

"Your pupils are dilated," the woman looked concerned. She moved around and suddenly there was something stuck in my ear. I flinched at the sudden invasion of the cold instrument. "And you're running a fever."
Really? I felt like I was freezing. I hadn't stopped shivering since Jared dumped us on the floor here. I really wanted to throw up again, despite there being nothing in my body to throw up.

"I got drugged," I explained weakly. Something got fastened around my arm, squeezing it hard. I flinched as some kind of wound or bump I'd picked up along the way hurt. Something touched the stab wound in my leg. My entire body jerked and spasmed as the pain shot through me. I could feel the blood running freely again from the wound.

"Agent Lyngley, we're going to get you up onto the stretcher right now," the female doctor's face floated in front of mine again. I was seeing that weird halo effect again. An aura of light was around her head, making her features fuzzy. I couldn't focus, but I did feel myself being lifted. Someone pulled the AWSM off my back before I was placed on the stretcher. My injured leg was quickly propped up to the point of being uncomfortable. Someone else took my injured arm and placed it above my head. I lost sight of Jared nearly straight away. There was just too many people blocking my view around me now.

It was getting harder and harder to concentrate as the stretcher wheeled down the never ending hallways. I was nearly passed out when another face hovered in front of me. Brown hair was falling out of a messy bun. I knew that face.

"Laura," I struggled to get her name out. An oxygen mask had been put over my face. I hadn't even noticed it. I tried to reach up to push it off, but Laura grabbed my arm. She forced my arm back down onto the bed.

"Don't be a pain in the ass," she looked stressed. The lines around her eyes were crinkled in a deep frown. She looked like she hadn't slept in a few days. "Any idea what you got drugged with?"

"Something Russian," I tried to struggle against her grip. Normally I'd be able to push her off easily, but she held down my arm like it was nothing.

"Fucking Russians," Laura muttered under her breath. I only just heard it. I tried to smile but my face muscles wouldn't cooperate. Laura's face softened a little as she looked at me. "He's gone into surgery. You're going there now too."

Gone into surgery meant they'd at least stabilised Jared. It was the best news I'd heard in days. Except for the surgery part.

"I'm fine," my speech started to slur. "Don't need…"

Everything went even fuzzier. I couldn't make out Laura's face at all now.

"Sorry what was that?" Laura's voice was dripping in amusement. "Was that you're too out of it from blood loss and a 6 inch knife sticking out of your thigh to notice me giving you knock out drugs for surgery?"

I was going to kill her. That wasn't funny at all. I couldn't argue or snap at her. The voices around me blurred into nothing as my entire world went black.

"…. 2 pints of blood, raging infection…. " a voice broke through the blackness. "Bad reaction coming out of…."

I was floating in a world of nothing. I couldn't feel anything. The words weren't even making proper sense.

"….the hell she manage to…"

More words. Just not full sentences.

"…may just kill them both myself…"

That sounded suspiciously like something my Mom would say.

"…have to redo this IV line one more fucking time…. sedated for your own good…."

That time it sounded like Laura sounding angry at me. If I could have smiled, I would have. But whatever it was from keeping me conscious quickly sucked me back under. Voices drifted in and out for an undetermined amount of time. It was like time was standing still in my own mind. A few times I thought I might have opened my eyes. But it was fleeting and I had no control.

"…. realise what a fucking mess your agents just made Coulson? Not only do they get themselves nearly killed they drag half of Chernobyl radiation back with them! I've got…."

That time it sounded like Fury was yelling. You couldn't miss the deep timbre of the Director's voice. Even in a drug induced unconscious state.

"…Kotyonok…."

"KARI!"

Jared's panicked scream filled my head. It'd come out of nowhere. But it was enough to jerk me awake. My eyes opened to a tiled ceiling in a dark room. I struggled against whatever was holding me down. It was like being paralysed again. My body just didn't want to move. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw someone slinking away in the shadow of the memory of having the word kitten whispered to me in Russian earlier sent me into full panic mode.

I struggled against my own body and suddenly I was free. I could move my arms and legs, albeit it wasn't very coordinated. Somehow I managed to end up rolling over and hitting the floor. I was so tangled in lines, monitors screaming somewhere in the distance. The pain, there was just so much pain. I couldn't see straight again. Stars danced around my barely open eyes. I could only just make out the figure suddenly leaning over me, holding me down.

Suddenly I was back in Pripyat, Yelena looming over me. All I could see was her face leaning down over me.

I had no control over my body. So I screamed, as loudly as I could. A hand clamped over my mouth just as quickly. The weight leaning down on me was too heavy to be Yelena. The hands were too rough and big. Everything smelt too clean and sterile unlike before.

"Kari, calm down, look at me," a male voice cut through my foggy brain. "Focus, please stop freezing the room over."

I didn't even know I was doing it. But as soon as it was mentioned I could feel the ice under my hands. I took a few deep breaths, feeling the world come into focus a little more. A blurry shape was above me. The ice made my skin tingle with cold, grounding more a little more. The hand lifted off my mouth.

"Can you tell me where you are?"

I blinked a few times, willing my brain to really kick in. That voice was so damn familiar. But so was the fear of what I saw. I couldn't tell what was real or not. Right now the fear Yelena had just been here couldn't get out of my head.

"Jared," was all I could croak out. "Where's Jared?"

"He's safe," the hand came up to gently cup my face. "You are too. Breathe. Focus. Come on, in and out."

My brain finally cleared to grasp what was going on. I took in another few deep, shuddering breaths like I was told. It finally clicked in my head who's voice it was.

"Troy," I swallowed heavily. My throat felt like it was on fire. What the hell was Evans doing here?

"Yeah its Troy," Evans face came into view. He had me pinned down on the hospital floor while the monitors all around me were going ballistic. Various IV lines were either dripping on the floor or still attached to me. My entire body was on fire.

"Why…." I couldn't even finish the rest of the question. I was so weak and exhausted.

"Making sure you don't sneak off again," Evans tone was teasing. "Looks like I caught you just in time."

I blinked a few more times as the world came into focus a little more around me. This wasn't normal. Why couldn't I get my brain to work properly? But what I could focus on saw Evans in full tactical gear and armed. I frowned at the sight of him. Well, I think I was frowning.

"Yeah I'd shoot your ass if you try to escape," Evans joked as he followed my line of sight. "Come on back to bed. You have way too many drugs in your system to be moving."

"I want to see Jared," I tried to argue. I wasn't even sure the words came out correctly.

"Ok, lets get you into bed first," Evans moved off me. "Then I'll let the medical staff back in here to reattach you to everything. I've got a live feed of his room on my iPad."

Let the medical staff back in here? What the hell was going on that I needed an armed guard and medical staff weren't allowed in the room. And why did Evans have a live feed of Jared's room on his iPad?

"One, two, three," Evans wasn't giving me time to argue or ponder. He slipped his arms under me and the next thing I knew, I was back on the bed. Evans was speaking into a radio clipped onto his shoulder. I was too out of it to focus on the words being said. It wasn't until he leant down closer to me I could focus on him. "Bad dream?"

"Someone was in the room," I tried to shake my head, but my body just didn't want to cooperate again. "I thought I heard Jared scream."

Evans frowned at my words. He reached over and grabbed the radio again.

"Can we do a quick perimeter sweep again? Sam, what's the status in Jared's room?"

I didn't hear the reply to Evans radio call. I was pulled back into the land of unconscious yet again.

I could hear screaming. With the screaming came pain. So much burning, it felt like my skin was on fire. My skin of fire slowly turned into me burning on the inside too. Faces blurred around me. Too many and just too much for my brain to focus on. Voices drifted in out. Panicked yells. Gentle whispers. Pleading tones. Nothing I could make out properly even if I wanted to. Its just noise interlacing with pain that goes on for an eternity.

"…Kari…" Jared's voice cut through it all. His voice keeps repeating my name over and over again, like he's begging for my help. I wanted to reach over and touch him. But something was holding me down. I fought with all my strength to get free. It seemed to take an eternity but my hand finally grasped something. I couldn't see anything but I knew someone was touching me. Fingers wound around mine. It was then it felt like everything stopped. The pain, the voices, the blur of colours constantly swirling around me all ground to a halt. The blackness that fell around me was a welcome relief.

The only thing I could feel in the blackness was those fingers curled around mine. It only meant one thing. We were safe. I don't know how my mind was putting that together. But I just knew.

An eternity later I became a little more aware of things coming back to me. Fingers were gently pushing my hair back over my ear. Those fingers felt cool against my sweating skin. Cold enough to make me start shivering. It was an odd contrast. I was so hot, yet freezing at the same time.

"Hands are cold," I murmured.

The hand that had been touching me snatched away like it'd been burnt. The way my skin was feeling, they may just have been.

"Kari Anastasia Lyngley, open your eyes this minute otherwise you're grounded forever," Mom's voice had no force behind it. It sounded extremely shaky, like she was only just keeping her emotions in check,

It took a lot of effort but I finally managed to get my eyes open. Mom looked like she'd aged by about 20 years and not slept in days. It was daytime but other than that I had no concept of how much time had passed. My brain was still fuzzy, but I felt a little more with it than last time.

"How do you feel?" Mom asked me, hovering over me.

"Like I drank a 5th of tequila," I tried to reach up to scratch my nose, but my hands met resistance. I glanced down to see the restraints around my wrists. Moving my legs had the same result. I was strapped down. I tried to yank against the restrains but my body just wouldn't move.

"It's ok," Mom instantly stopped the panicking I was about to do. She reached over and quickly undid the wrist cuffs. "You didn't have a good reaction coming out of the anaesthetic."

"What happened?" I could finally scratch my itchy nose. The small movement of scratching left me exhausted already. But then the thought hit me so quickly, I nearly fell out of bed again. "Jared?"

"Is going to be fine," Mom's smile wavered. "He was a bit touch and go there for a bit but he's going to be all right. He woke up a few hours ago but he's asleep again. Eyes right."

My head lolled to look to the right side of the room. Next to me was Jared lying in a hospital bed. He was attached to a mess of IV lines, not unlike me. He still had an oxygen mask on his face. He looked impossibly small in the bed with so much around him. The steady beep of his monitors were a comforting sound. He was here and alive. It was real. The feeling I had when I was unconscious, that we were safe. It was all real. The thought made me swallow back a sudden rush of emotion. There was so many questions that needed to be answered. I wasn't going to be awake long. I could already feel my body wanting to drag me back down, so I forced the first question in my mind out of my mouth.

"Clint?"

"Alive and annoying," Mom laughed quietly. "He's driving everyone up the wall because he wants to be up and moving."

"What happened?" I asked again. I wanted to reach out to touch Jared, just to make sure this was real. He was too far away for me to reach though. It was only by a few inches, but it may as well have been a mile with the way I was feeling. The room was covered in flowers and balloons. Something soft touched my arm. It was a teddy bear tucked into my side. It was a typical bear you'd buy at a hospital gift shop. This one had an eye patch and bandages on all 4 limbs. It was holding a heart which someone had put tape over. Instead of the usual Get Well Soon message on it, the tape read 'You're a dumb ass.'

"One of the Bravo team boys brought that for you," Mom reached over and tucked the bear into my side. She rearranged the blankets over me, tucking me in like I was 5 years old again. "You lost a lot of blood and got a nasty infection."

I turned back to look at Mom. She definitely wasn't telling the truth there. Like me, Mom was usually a pretty terrible liar.

"Plus radiation sickness," Mom pursed her lips at me. "You were all exposed to 1.5Gy of radiation during your little field exercise."

No wonder I felt like shit. A dose of that size wouldn't kill any of us, but it was enough to give us all plenty of side effects. It was little wonder that I'd ended up with an infection in my leg. I was lucky if that was the worst of it. Having the school blow up around us must have sent radiation in the area off the charts. We were lucky we weren't there for much longer.

"You were a sick little lady," Mom's smile wavered. "You were all pretty sick actually."

"How long have I been out?"

"10 days," Mom sank down in her chair a little more. She looked so exhausted. I immediately felt bad for making her worry so much. "The doctors only started backing off your sedation last night."

"Why was I sedated?" I frowned. I smothered back a yawn, willing my body to stay awake just a little longer. It was a futile effort. My eyes were trying to slide closed all on their own.

"Because you were a little rocky," Mom's face fell, as if the memory of what happened wasn't good. "It's ok, your fine now. You both are."

Mom sounded like she was trying really hard to convince herself of that fact. She looked over to Jared briefly with a tight smile.

"Rocky?" I asked. What the hell had I done?

"Don't worry about it," Mom reached over and squeezed my hand. "We'll talk later. You should get some sleep."

"Not tired," I murmured. My eyes slid shut betraying my objections. "Really not…"

I didn't get the last word out. I was asleep again before I could stop it.

I woke up again to something being dumped on my chest. Something heavy. I grunted and my eyes flew open coming face to face with Natasha smirking at me.

"Good morning sunshine," Natasha's smirk grew wider. "The sun is up and you don't have any lines attaching you to the bed anymore."

"Get off me Nat," I groaned. Her weight on me wasn't helping any of the pain I was suddenly aware of now I was awake. Instead of arguing, Natasha climbed off me straight away. She looked guilty for a split second. But it was covered by her trade mark smirk instead.

"About time you woke up," Natasha pulled up the chair closer to the bed. "Its funny, these tiny little doses of sedatives keep you knocked out. You're as much of a lightweight with drugs as you are with alcohol."

"Maybe people shouldn't sedate me then," I rubbed my eyes tiredly. The feeling of having a fifth of tequila and an ass whooping hadn't diminished at all.

"Yeah well we probably shouldn't get ourselves nearly blown up," Natasha pushed a button, making my bed shift into an upright position. I winced as my aching muscles protested. There wasn't a part of my body that didn't hurt. Being upright gave me a good look at her. She looked pale, dark smudges under her eyes and thinner than I last saw her. But she was alive. I looked over to Jared's bed. He has less lines attached to him than before. But he was still unconscious.

"He's been awake," Natasha's tone was gentle. "And long enough to get one of the nurses numbers and be a pain in the ass."

I grunted in response as I closed my eyes. I felt like I could go back to sleep for a month right now.

"Hey," Natasha pinched my arm. Hard. The pain jolted my eyes back open as I scowled at her. "Stay awake for a bit. Don't you want to know what happened? It's a good story. You need to hear it before Coulson kills us."

"So tell," I wasn't sure how long I'd stay awake. But I was curious and mostly with it enough to listen to what happened over the last 10 days. Or however long it'd been now. It took me a long moment to realise it was dark outside. The lights were still on in the room keeping it bright. So much for Natasha saying the sun was up.

"So," Natasha pulled her feet up into the chair so she was sitting cross legged. "After we got back and you and Clint passed out, there was a bit of minor chaos. The whole place and us had to be quarantined and scrubbed for radiation. That made Coulson happy and Fury live up to his name. Thanks for passing out on me by the way. It was great dealing with them all by myself."

I cringed. Poor Natasha. I didn't envy her at all. The smirk fell away from her face quickly as she started to remember what came next.

"You and Clint got rushed to surgery," Natasha absently twirled a piece of hair around her finger. "So did Jared. Clint came out first and then you. Jared's surgery took a lot longer."

I looked over to my still sleeping twin. His brown was furrowed, like he was concentrating hard on something in his sleep. His face was turned towards me. His face was still a few mottled shades of green and yellow from faded bruising. But there wasn't anything that was going to leave a scar. He kept his pretty boy looks. I turned back to face Natasha as she started speaking again.

"He's a bit fucked up Kari," Natasha's voice shook as she tugged at her hair a little harder. She wouldn't meet my eyes. "He's going to be fine now, but it really was touch and go for a few days. What she did was beyond torture."

Natasha looked away from me, her hair shielding me from seeing her face. It took her a few moments to look at me again. I expected her to slip into Black Widow mode. But she didn't. The way she looked at me made my heart ache. She looked so very young and vulnerable right now. Her own expression probably mirrored my own. It wasn't just Jared that was lucky to be alive. It was a very close brush with death we all just had.

"Fractured skull, 6 broken ribs, punctured lung from one of them," Natasha's voice cracked as she listed off his injuries. "Massive internal bleeding, bruised spleen, lacerated liver. All fingers dislocated. Ankle put back together with screws and a plate. DVT, pneumonia and a horrid infection on top of it all. They replaced his blood volume 3 times. It's a miracle he's still here."

Natasha shook her head looking haunted.

"I shouldn't have ever let him get dragged into this mess," she whispered. "No one would have gotten hurt if I told him no when he asked to come with me the first time."

"We could have gotten hurt on any mission Tasha," I said gently. "You know that better than I do. I'm going to punch some sense back into you once I can raise my hand. Why is Jared in here?"
I needed to change Natasha's frame of mind. My brain wasn't working well enough to deal with her feeling guilty. It really wasn't her fault. Jared would have done this regardless of what anyone else had said or done. He was an arrogant shit like that. There was no noble gesture behind him going after Yelena alone. It was just him wanting to notch in his belt for taking down someone from the Red Room.

"That was your fault," Natasha blew a stray curl out of her eyes. "What's the first thing you remember?"

"Falling out of bed and having Evans in the room in full tactical gear," even now I wasn't sure of that was a dream or not. It was a blur of images in my head. "Was the real?"

"Yes it was," Natasha's face momentarily tightened in anger. She had to take a deep breath before she could continue. "You weren't imagining things that night either. Yelena really was there in your rooms. They've kept a STRIKE team here at all times just in case she shows up again."

I could only stare in response, horrified at what Natasha had just said.

"She was just there to gloat, to prove she could find Jared at any time and toy with him," Natasha clenched her jaw. I could see the muscles working in her face as she spoke. "She's long gone now. I would have gone after her myself but Jared got worse, much worse after that. So did you."

I had no memory beyond the muddles bits and pieces of sentences I thought I heard. I just looked at Natasha waiting for the pieces of the puzzle to fall into place.

"Any time something happened with Jared you'd start screaming," Natasha went back to playing with her hair. "And lashing out at anyone that tried to help. When your infection got worse, like Jared's, you were a bit delirious. You kind of broke Rumlow's nose and had most of the medical staff here terrified of you."

"Fuck," I couldn't think of much else to say to that. I had no memory of any of that. "What do you mean when anything happened to Jared?"

Natasha opened and closed her mouth a few times. The inner turmoil on her face was clear as she wrestled with what she was trying to say.

"Your Mother is going to kill me," Natasha muttered before clearing her throat. "So is Coulson, Laura and everyone else. They weren't going tell you this. There was a few times Jared nearly didn't make it. There were just so many complications and no one was confident he was going to pull through."

Natasha's voice sounded a look stronger than she was currently looking. What a nightmare she must have been living in. She was very much alone with all this going on around her. I really hoped she'd had someone there to help her out. Not that Natasha would have wanted help. But the thought of her dealing with Jared nearly dying myself nearly brought me to tears.I blinked them away quickly. She wouldn't want me to get sentimental on her now. Not until she finished with the facts and figures. It's how she compartmentalised everything. Fact and figures before emotions.

"The doctors told your parents a few times to prepare for the worst," Natasha's eyes looked suspiciously bright. She blinked a lot more than normal while she was speaking. "They even nearly called it once, but he came back. That time when he came back neither of you would stop calling for each other. So your Mom got you moved into the same room. From there you both stabilised and improved dramatically. "

I shivered as a cold chill hit my body. Part of me didn't want to believe what Natasha was saying. But another part that was buried deep in my mind knew it was the truth. There was one small thing nagging at me.

"Were we holding hands?"

"Yeah, made life difficult because neither of you wanted to let go," Natasha's face softened. Her gaze drifted from me over towards Jared. "A twins bond is such a strange thing. In this case whatever connection you two have, I'm just very glad you have it."

"Me too," I turned my head to look at Jared again. His brow had smoothed out in his sleep. He looked peaceful for someone who had more near death experiences in the last 2 weeks than anyone else would have in their lives. I turned back to Natasha after a minute of staring at my twin. "You look tired."

"Shove over then," Natasha kicked her shoes off. She pushed the button so I was laying flat again. I did as I was told, I wiggled over as much as I could in the small bed. It was a tight fit, but Natasha managed to cuddle up to my side. Comforted by her presence, I fell asleep again straight away.

"Kari," a male voice drawing out my name dragged me back semi awake. The smell of coffee wafting right under my nose made my eyes snap open. It smelt amazing and nauseating all at the same time. I looked over to the source of the voice and smell

"Good morning princess," Clint grinned widely. He looked thrilled that his little plan of waking me up just worked. "Want some?"

"I'm not sure if I want to drink it or the smell makes me want to puke," I reached up, wiggling my fingers at Clint to try and get the coffee cup to come to me. "Should you be out of bed?"

"Nope," Clint's grin grew even wider. He moved the coffee cup out of my reach. I dropped my hand with a serious pout. "As a matter of fact, the door was locked and I was supposed to be strapped down. But I was bored."

"Why do I find myself not surprised at all," I felt a smile tugging at my lips. I actually felt coherent for the first time in ages. I still hurt all over, but it wasn't as bad as before. "Where's Nat?"

"Gone to get real food," Clint sank into the chair next to me. His face was pale and drawn, not unlike Natasha's had been. But he looked happy. Something we could all do with around here. "Someone wants cheeseburgers even though he's meant to be on liquids only still."

"I can't have vodka or sex, so a cheeseburger is the next best thing."

Jared's raspy voice made me bolt upright. I was half out of the bed before I could stop myself.

"Easy, not a great idea," Clint grabbed me before I could get any further. He pulled me back onto the bed. I couldn't focus on anything but Jared next to me. He was laying flat still, but had his head turned to me. Our beds had been pushed closer together than last time I was awake. We were close enough to touch.

"Hey," I grabbed Jared's hand so hard he hissed in pain. "Sorry."

"Just mind the 2 broken fingers there," Jared joked. I gave him a withering look. From the long list of injuries he had 2 broken fingers were the least of his worries. He looked exhausted and drained, but seeing him awake and talking nearly brought me to tears. Everything Natasha said came rushing back to me all at once. I could feel myself tearing up straight away. There was no forcing back the lump in my throat or the moisture in my eyes.

"Kari I swear to god if you cry I'm going to teleport away and never come home," Jared tried to be joking, but even his voice cracked a little. "Seeing Mom cry was bad enough."

I laughed through the few tears that escaped. On the other side of me, Clint was squeezing my hand really hard. I was grateful for the silent support.

"These tears are from a lack of caffeine," I lied reaching up to rub my face with my free hand. I'd hold back my emotions until later. "Someone decided to wake me up with waving coffee under my face."

"And you have no idea how damn good this coffee is," Clint teased. I turned back to scowl at him. Silent support or not, I'd kill him for tormenting me with coffee. I really couldn't care less if I was going to throw it straight back up. It just smelt so damn good. Clint grabbed the remote and pushed my bed into an upright position. Before I could get snappy with him, a second coffee cup was shoved into my hands.

"Drink it quickly so I can dispose of the evidence," Clint looked extremely guilty and smug all at once. I wanted to ask him how he managed to get out of his room and find Starbucks. But I also really didn't want to know so I could claim ignorance once Coulson found us.

The first sip of coffee felt like it was the best thing I'd ever tasted in my life. The feeling of the still warm coffee laced with a generous amount of vanilla was almost orgasmic. I moaned in delight and drank as much as I could in one breath.

"I'm feeling vaguely disgusted that you sound like you're getting turned on by coffee," Clint joked. "And mildly impressed it hasn't made a reappearance just yet."

"Give it a minute," Jared said grumpily from the other side of the room. It was followed by a groan of pain. "I really, really want to sit up. Laying down is killing my back."

"Just your back hey?" Clint said with no small amount of snark in his voice. "It wouldn't have anything to do with the stitches and plates holding your body together at the moment? Last I heard the amount of stitches holding you together was a new record in SHIELD."

"You should know, it was your record," Jared shot back. "Remind me again who's the one who snuck out for Starbucks when he's supposed to be laying flat on his back as well."

"I got bored," Clint was watching me with a small grin. "Unlike some other people, I can handle my sedation and don't need 2 days to come out of it properly."

Shit, had it been 2 days since I was awake last? The conversation with Natasha felt like it'd only been a few minutes ago. But the sun shining outside betrayed the time difference. It could have been days for all I knew.

"No, it's early morning, Natasha was in here last night," Clint must have read the expression on my face. His teasing grin fell away to a softer and more genuine smile. "It was about 2 days ago when you had a conversation with your Mom. Do you remember it?"

"Why did you get a conversation and I got yelled at?" Jared sounded like a whining child as he cut into the conversation. "Then Mom cried and made me feel all kinds of guilty. Laura slapped me."

"Good you deserve it," I rolled my eyes. "And yes I do remember talking to Mom. Where is she?"

"Went for a shower and a nap hopefully," Clint explained. "She's pretty exhausted. Your Dad is with her. Coulson ducked home for a change of clothes too. Hence how I was able to sneak out."

Everyone would be pretty exhausted by now. Jared wasn't the only one feeling guilty. I snuck a glance over to my twin who was still laying flat on his back. He'd lost the rest of the machinery attached to him since I was awake last. He was staring at the ceiling looking moody.

"Why don't you sit up?" I suggested to Jared in a small hope of cheering him up. Beside me Clint cringed. Oops bad idea. The glare Jared sent me would have made Natasha shake in her boots.

"Apparently being stitched from neck to navel is enough to keep me on my back for a few more days," Jared said sullenly. "On the bright side, the scar on my stomach has nothing on what this new scar is going to look like."

"You never told me what that scar was from," I tilted my head in question. I hadn't seen it until I had to go to the charity dinner with Jared months ago. It wasn't something I ever remembered to bring up in casual conversation either.

"A Yakuza boss' son took great offence to the fact I didn't want to sleep with him," Jared's said dryly. The sullen and moody look was gone from his face, replaced but a lopsided smile. "Never piss off a Japanese guy who can use a sword quicker than you can shoot."

"I'll keep that in mind for future missions, thank you," I returned the lopsided smile. "Don't worry, chicks dig scars. I'm sure your harem won't mind."

"I don't think I'm going to be up for my harem any time soon," Jared groaned as he tried to shift. "Fuck me, this mattress sucks. I want to go home to my nice orthopaedic mattress. Or at least be allowed to sit up. Come on Clint, you like breaking the rules. Please put my bed upright."

"Fine. When you bust open all your stitches and your intestines start coming out, don't bitch to me," Clint warned. He got up rather stiffly and limped heavily to Jared's bed. It took him a full minute of leaning on the bed before he could do what Jared asked. Once Jared was sitting upright, Clint didn't bother trying for the chair. He just collapsed to the floor, sweating heavily and clutching at his hip.

"Now who's over done it?" Jared looked down to the floor with a worried look. "Are you dying on us down there Barton?"

"No I feel great," the strain in Clint's voice was clear. With a muffled groan he rolled over onto his back and stretched out. It was amusing to see him dressed in flannel pyjama pants and baggy grey t-shirt. He looked like a middle aged suburban house dad in clothes like that. He might have even be able to pull it off it was wasn't for his bulging biceps and washboard abs peaking out from underneath the hem of the shirt.

"Yeah you look great too," I couldn't stop my sarcastic comment. I took another long drink of coffee as Clint gave me the finger. Jared snickered quietly. He didn't look much better than Clint. Sweat was pouring off him and his face was pinched from the pain. Not that he'd say anything about it. To be honest, I wasn't feeling much better. Sitting up made my entire torso hurt. My ribs felt bruised and the skin around the wound on my thigh was pulling uncomfortably. My arm hurt as well. I could see the long line where Yelena had slashed at me. The stitches were out but it still itched and ached. I dared to sneak a look at my thigh as well, pulling the hospital blanket aside and hiking up the nightgown I had on.

What met me was a disappointment. I don't know what I expected. But the red puckered line still held together was stitches wasn't one of them. The wound looked neat and had no signs of it being anything sinister. There was some faint bruising still around it, mostly yellow now. It was going to be one hell of a scar if anything else.

The door swinging open made me look up. Natasha strode into the room carrying 2 Burger King bags. The smell of cheeseburgers and bacon wafted up, hitting me right in the face. It smelt just as good as the coffee had.

"Who loves me?" she announced holding up the bag. She looked between Jared and I were a raised eyebrow. "Wow, good to see you both conscious and sitting up. Where did the coffee come from?"

I pointed to where Clint was still lying on the floor. Natasha frowned and stepped around so she could see around the bed.

"Over do it a bit did we Barton?" Natasha asked dryly. "You said you'd stay in your bed if I brought you cheeseburgers."

"I lied," Clint threw an arm over his eyes. "I can't sit in that bed for another minute longer. I'm going crazy."

"Your funeral," Natasha shrugged. She walked over to my bed and dropped one of the bags in my lap. "I suggest you make it back there before Coulson finds you though."

"Too late."

The 4 of us looked to the door in horror. Coulson was standing in the doorway, arms crossed looking very unamused. Even in slacks and a casual shirt, Coulson made a formidable looking picture. I was suddenly wishing I was unconscious again. Or blown up in Pripyat. As Coulson frowned at each of us in it came my turn for him to glare at me I was really wishing for being blown up. Coulson stalked into the room, slamming the door behind him.

Coulson threw what looked like a book at Jared. It hit him square in the head with a loud thump. Jared yelped in surprise, before swearing and rubbing where the book hit him.

"That is a SHIELD manual that you should know inside out by now," Coulson's voice sounded eerily calmly, despite his resting murder face. "The manual for Operations. Inside is a few lovely paragraphs about what happens when an agent goes off book. It doesn't include sending in my team, blowing up half of an abandoned radioactive city and nearly getting yourselves killed in the process."

"Technically you didn't send them in," Jared started. Coulson cut him off with a glare and holding one finger up. With that glare, I don't think any of us were game to breath in case Coulson's wrath turned on us.

"The reason we can go off book is because there's a book in the first place," Coulson looked like he was itching to throw something else at Jared. "There's a system in place and you should trust the system. If you want to go off and do your own lone gun slinger thing the resignation papers are right here in my pocket. There's also half of the Specialists out there who really don't like you who are going to be more than willing to hunt you down when you do something to piss SHIELD off."

"I would like to see them try," Jared muttered sullenly. He was looking down at his lap, picking at what was left of his fingernails. It wasn't much. He only had his right thumbnail and left index nail left from what I could see.

"And I have half a mind to let a select few of them at you just to teach you a lesson," Coulson's voice raised a little. "There aren't a lot of people who'd miss you Jared."

"Coulson that's…"I stupidly opened my mouth. I didn't get very far before he cut me off as well.

"You don't get an opinion here Kari," Coulson's ire turned on me. "You're barely an agent and only have the seniority and clearance because of the people you work with. You don't really know any better, buts thats the only time you get to use that as an excuse. Sit there and shut up."

Gladly. I swallowed back any words that I wanted to say. I didn't even want to think them just in case Coulson had developed mind reading powers in the last 2 weeks. Even Natasha winced at the words thrown at me.

"Luckily for you, your punishment isn't up to me," Coulson swung right back to Jared. "This one is going straight to Fury who's going to decide your fate. He'll be here in about 5 minutes."

Natasha tried to discreetly sneak out of the room. She'd been doing such a good job while Coulson was having a tirade at Jared that she nearly made the door.

"And Natalia," Coulson spun around to face her. She stopped dead in her tracks, frozen mid stride. Coulson using her proper name was definitely not a good sign. "You better have a damn good explanation about this not being your own revenge mission. I stuck my neck out for you when your last run in with Yelena, promising not only Fury but the World Security Council that this wouldn't be a problem. And now between fixing this mess and them breathing down my neck yet again, I also have to FSB making noise at me about handing you over."

If Natasha wasn't already pale, I'd say she would have lost all colour in her face at Coulson's tirade. We were in so much trouble. I wouldn't be surprised if we were all jobless by the end of this conversation. Or assigned to something we really, really didn't want to do.

"At the moment your service record for SHIELD is the only thing I have to keep you here," Coulson scowled. "Right now your back to square one, just like when Barton brought you in. If there's so much as a breath that's out of line in the next 6 months, I'll be the least of your troubles."

Natasha's tight nod was the only thing she seemed to dare to do. I didn't doubt the force behind Coulson's words. From the little I knew of the World Security Council they would look for every opportunity to rid themselves of any problem that may bite them in the ass later. Natasha had a lot of potential to be a big problems if she didn't toe the line. I could feel the guilt practically dripping off Jared at what Coulson just said. I snuck a quick look at him. His ears were bright red and there was a flush of embarrassment steadily creeping up his neck. At least he was feeling guilty and not smug about the problems he'd just caused.

"In our defence Coulson, you did tell us to be careful," Clint grumbled from his position on the floor. "We were careful. No one is dead."

I looked down at him, impressed and horrified at the same time. If anyone could get away with being surly to Coulson, it'd be Clint.

"You went into a restricted area and blew up a school," Coulson argued back. "Tell me how is that being careful?"

"Technically it was Yelena who blew up the school," Clint didn't sound deterred at all. If anything he sounded smugly proud of his argument. Natasha was behind me, frantically shaking her head at him. Clint either didn't see her, or wasn't getting the picture. Or he didn't care. Any of those points could have been it knowing Clint.

"You know what," Coulson scoffed with a rather sinister smile. "I'm not going to yell at you Clint. I'm not going to be drawn into your bullshit game where you bend the rules and talk your way around everything. You've got enough problems on your plate with not talking to your wife for the last week. I have to say, you've had something really stupid foot in mouth moments but this one really took the cake. And no, you're not sleeping on my couch this time. Grow the fuck up and deal with it like a responsible adult for once in your life."

That shut Clint up instantly. His teeth snapped together so quickly I could hear them click in his mouth. What the hell had Clint said for him and Laura to have such a big argument? I wasn't game to open my mouth and ask. It sounded like something we'd have to talk about over a bottle of scotch instead of cheeseburgers and coffee.

"When I say be careful it means exactly that," Coulson's rant continued. "Be careful. Don't go blowing things up. Don't get shot, stabbed or get radiation poisoning. If you're doing something on restricted foreign soil a quiet heads up would be nice. Not the first thing I hear about what you're doing is Jared being resuscitated in the ED waiting room."

Coulson took a few seconds to glare at us again once he needed to take a breath. It wasn't enough to get in anything to defend ourselves. Not that I was going to be stupid enough to open my mouth again. I was more than happy to sit here with my mouth shut firmly. I had a feeling if I didn't then I'd be flying supply trips to Siberia for the rest of my life.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy all of you are alive. But this wasn't meant to be a fireworks show. You guys have no idea about how much paperwork and stress this has caused on so many levels. Not just for me, but your Mom as well."

Coulson looked between Jared and I with another glare. If that wasn't a warning to be nice to our Mom, I don't know what was. The stress we just put her and Dad through would have aged them considerably.

"We had to close down the emergency room of one of the busiest hospitals in DC until everything could be declared radiation free. Keeping a STRIKE team here on site has pissed off so many people I can't even keep track of them all anymore. Do you know how twitchy doctor's get when they have to have an armed grunt in the room with them at all times?"

If it was Laura she'd probably tell most of the armed grunts off. Or take the sidearm for herself and tell whoever it was to fuck off. Unfortunately, most doctors weren't like Laura. From what Coulson had said earlier to Clint, it didn't sound like she'd be visiting either.

"You're all lucky that all of you are on SHIELD's shit list high enough that we won't just fire you for this. But it's been a close call. And for the rest of your ass kicking and to find out your fate here comes Director Fury."

We'd all been too busy awkwardly fidgeting with our own nervous habits to see the dark figure of Fury come down the hallway. Just as Coulson finished his sentence, Fury came in the door. With a grace I had no idea Coulson possessed, he slipped out the door just before Fury slammed it shut. Fury put enough force into slamming the door that the windows rattled.

I felt like a naughty kid that just got pulled up in front of the Headmaster at school. What's worse if Fury didn't say anything. He just stood there, arms crossed and staring down at each of us. I suppose this was it. The supply run to Siberia was sounding more and more like it was going to be the best case scenario. Maybe I should have just taken the offer of being thrown in the Fridge when everything first happened. It would have been a lot easier than the path I'd been on to get to this moment.

"Did Coulson have his rant and tirade at all of you?" Fury asked calmly after what felt like an eternity of silence.

I could only nod. Jared, Clint and Natasha all managed a mumbled 'Yes Sir.'

"Then I have nothing further to add," Fury's one good eye swept around the group. "Consider yourselves suitability chastised. Romanoff, I have an assignment to discuss with you when you come back to work on Monday. The rest of you, I don't want to see for the next 6 weeks. At least. That's all."

With a dramatic swirl of coat he disappeared as quickly as he came. We all watched his figure retreat down the hallway in complete silence. It wasn't until he was well out of sight Jared spoke up.

"Well," Jared looked around at all of us. "That went better than expected."

Natasha was the first to start chuckling. It broke down into full laughter in a few seconds. The rest of us joined in just after her. It hurt but it didn't stop my laughing until I had tears running down my face from pain and laughter.

It definitely felt good to be alive.

Authors Notes

This took a little longer than expected. But here we are at last.

This is one of the few times where I've found writing in first person unbelievably restrictive. So I'll be adding some of this to my one shots about what else happened while Kari was unconscious. I can't promise it'll be up any time soon, but it will be there eventually!

Updates may get a little spotty for a bit. I'm in the final round of interviews for a new job. I just narrowly missed out on getting a job which would have meant a move interstate. It would have put this on hold for a few months if it happened. So there's a bright side to not getting it.

As of tonight before updating there's been 190 reviews for this story. My overall goal when this was finished to get at least 200 reviews and favourites/follows. I'm now pushing that and I'm just a few chapters out of Iron Man 2 and Thor. It's hard to believe I'm still in Phase One of the MCU, but have everything roughly planned out until Civil War. I want to thank everyone who reads this. Whether you review every chapter or just lurk, I appreciate the support. I do try and reply to reviewers, but sometimes I just don't get a chance to. So this is a thank you to all of you! Maybe a little cheeky push to see if we could hit to 200 review mark for this chapter? I hope everyone is relieved and happy Jared is alive. He still has a big road to tread down, as does Kari.

Until next time.