It had taken a few days but they had settled into their new not-really-that-normal. Alice relied on Zelena for everything, much to the latter's dismay. Zelena had been shocked to learn the extent that the teenager expecteed her life to be dictated. She had to be told she could eat, that she could go to the bathroom, that she could go to sleep, that she could come out of her "room", that she could go into her "room." The list was exhaustive and nothing Zelena had tried so far had made her believe that it was okay to not wait for permission for any of these things. It had taken a few days to adjust to this. And Alice only seemed to believe Zelena had any ability to tell her what to do. It had quickly become exhausting to have to guess if there was anything she might need. It was worse to think of why Alice behaved this way. What had that woman done to her?
Everyone sat at the table, eating.
"I'd say the kitchen looks pretty clean," Zelena complimented. Henry had offered to help her the night before. Alice nodded. Clean. Finally. She'd get to do what she was supposed to here. Alice stood up from her seat immedaitly , careful not to be too quick about it. Mother hated when she jumped. There wasn't anything that needed to be cleaned but Alice knew better than to argue. She walked over to the counter and grabbed a rag, wetting it. She glanced at Zelena making sure this was okay. There had been a few times mother had asked her to clean something in the tower but made her stay seated while she did it, crawling around on her hands and knees while her mother sneered about what exactly Alice had done wrong.
Zelena watched as Alice, the same girl who had sat in her seat for hours and had waited until she'd been moaning in pain before using the bathroom seemed to do something she hadn't been asked to. Was Alice already over being told what to do? Zelena hoped so, but knew that wasn't likely the case.
"What are you doing?" Zelena asked gently as Alice was wiping down one of the counters. She didn't expect an answer. Alice heard the direct question. This was one mother made her answer frequently.
"Cl..cleaning," she mumbled. Zelena thought for a moment. She and Henry had just cleaned it the night before.
"Why?"
"You..." Alice trailed off. No that would be a defense. That would be explaining. "Sorry." Zelena thought, had she said something that made Alice want to do this? She'd said clean. Robin had said the girl's "mother" made her clean a lot. She'd have to be careful not to say it around her.
Alice flinched and braced herself for the expected pain that didn't come.
"No, you don't have to be sorry. Do you want to finish your food?" Alice nodded. No, she didn't. She'd finally been asked to clean but then Zelena didn't want her to right then? It was confusing. Whenever mother said clean she meant to do it right then. And she didn't take to Alice waiting to do it kindly. Alice shook slightly as she sat back down and finished her food. Wasn't Zelena going to hurt her for being wrong about what she wanted? Or at least yell? The day carried on and Alice worried about what was taking Zelena so long to decide to find a way to punish her for her mistake. She wasn't allowed to make mistakes. The day ended and Zelena never even mentioned the incident again.
Alice watched as Zelena was cooking. Maybe she'd actually get to clean this mess? Alice hadn't been able to move as freely since she'd gotten here. She missed being able to clean. It had been the closest thing to freely moving about the tower she had ever had. She had come close a few days before but she'd been wrong about what Zelena had wanted. Nothing happened. Alice was still confused. Why hadn't anything happened?
Zelena noticed that Alice was watching her.
"Do you need something?" Zelena asked her. Alice shook her head. "You can tell me if you do." Zelena was begging, no pleading with her. Zelena wanted Alice to just make at least one of her needs known. She didn't expect words to come out of Alice's mouth but maybe just maybe she'd tell her if she needed something. Mother had rarely allowed Alice to say she needed things.
Alice shook her head again. She just wanted to do something.
Zelena set food in front of her, ignoring Alice's flinch. Zelena had some words she'd like to say to the girl's so-called-mother.
"I need to go to the market today, will you be okay here for a while?" Zelena asked. No one had left the house much for the past few days. They'd been trying to adjust to having Alice there, and once they'd realized how little she'd do without being told she could leaving her alone seemed like a bad choice. But now it couldn't be avoided. Zelena didn't think Alice would be able to handle the amount of people at the market just yet.
Alice nodded. Mother had left her in the tower alone often. And maybe Robin would be here and they could play? Robin would know when Zelena would get back.
"It'll be just you, is that okay?" Alice nodded. She could handle a few hours alone.
Zelena told her she could go to the bathroom and Alice did. Then she dismissed her from there. Zelena thought about where the safest place for her to stay would be and elected the kitchen, she hated the thought of Alice sitting and refusing to move for any amount of time but at least if she was in the kitchen she might choose to get food if she needed it. And, at this point Zelena would be thrilled if she'd so much as pee in the bloody sink! Or the floor, for gods' sake if she'd just do it without waiting for Zelena's permission.
"I'll only be gone a few hours. I'm leaving now" Zelena told her as she left.
"Ok," Alice whispered. Mother had often wanted Alice to acknowledge her as she was leaving. Zelena took it as a small victory that Alice would say a word to her that wasn't part of an apology, even though it sounded like it might have been rooted in fear from something her mother had conditioned her to do.
Alice sat in the kitchen staring at the dishes in the sink and the dirt on the floor. Mother usually told her to clean before she left. And Zelena hadn't said she had to stay in one place. Alice knew better than to leave the space she'd been left in. But wouldn't she want a clean kitchen? She was supposed to do this. But she also wasn't. Alice alternated her glance between the sink and the door. Sink. Door. Sink. Door. Sink. Door. Sink. Yes. Sink. Alice made her choice. She shakily stood up and walked to the sink. She turned the water on, she peered over her shoulder. She grabbed the soap, another look towards the door. She washed one plate, another glance. Another plate. Another glance. And on it went until all of the dishes had been washed, rinsed, and put into the drainer. She didn't know how to put them away. She sat back down in the place she'd started in, her back towards the wall. No one would know. The dishes! Oh, they'd be a giveaway. What had she done? Maybe she wouldn't mind? But maybe she would? Alice shook her head. She couldn't think about what Zelena would do when she got home. She buried her face into her knees, hugging them to her chest. She could take it. Couldn't she? Alice considered undoing everything. But she couldn't remeber exactly which dish had been where and mother had always noticed when she undid things. That had only made her angrier. Alice let silent tears fall onto the skirt of her dress.
Henry walked into the kitchen, he'd been the only one home other than Alice. He'd been outside taking care of some of the animals.
"Hey, Alice," he greeted sitting down in front of her. He noticed the tear stains in her eyes.
"Are you okay?"
Alice nodded. She didn't know Henry that well. "Are you sure? You look like you've been crying?"
Alice shook her head violentally. She wasn't allowed to cry. She always hid it when she did. She was already in so much trouble. "Alice, it's okay. You're allowed to cry."
He didn't know what she'd been crying about but hoped his words would bring some vaugue sense of comfort.
Robin returned before Zelena did and saw Alice and Henry sitting in the corner of the kitchen.
"Alice," Robin remebered that her mom was gone and knew Alice had been willing to play games whenever her own mother had been out of the tower. She wouldn't push it too far. Alice was still adjusting to this place and if they scared her too much they'd lose her trust. "Do you want to play a round or two of cards?"
Alice nodded. She did. And Zelena would be gone a little longer. They managed to rope Henry into it as well. They played a few rounds before putting the cards away.
Zelena came home to a spotless kitchen. The only person that had been home long enough to do this was Alice. Zelena was proud of her. She'd done something without anyone telling her she had to. That was one thing in the so far otherwise empty list. Alice would clean without being told to. It wasn't much but it was something. Zelena was proud of her. But she wasn't sure if she should voice this or not. This was good. No this was bloody brilliant. But would Alice stop doing it if she thought Zelena knew? She'd ignore it this time. But she'd try to reward her for the behavior. Did Alice actually like anything? Zelena remebered Robin mention playing cards with her.
"Alice," Alice flinched was she in trouble? "Do you want to go play cards with Robin?"
Alice was confused. She'd moved and she'd left evidence of it but Zelena hadn't seemed to notice. Was it okay if she cleaned if no one saw? Alice hoped so. She found something about the repetitive movements calming. It was a place for her desire to move around to go. One that wouldn't end in pain either from her falling or mother finding out about it.
Alice nodded her response to Zelena's question. She did want to play with Robin. But, shouldn't she been in trouble for moving? Zelena seemed to not be upset. Alice walked into the living room where Robin was and sat in front of her.
"Hi, Alice." Alice nodded at her. It was the closest thing to a greeting she was going to give. "What'd you want to do?"
Alice shook her head. She couldn't tell her. But Zelena had told her to do this.
"Want to play a game?" Robin offered. Alice nodded. Zelena watched from the kitchen as Robin, Henry, and Alice sat engrossed in their card game. It was a start. Alice was doing something besides hiding in one of the various corners of the house.
The next time Alice was in the house alone she cleaned in the kitchen again. She had seen everyone else put things away and had remebered where they went. She was sat back in the kitchen corner by the time anyone would notice. And no one said anything. She spent part of her time cleaning worrying about if she got caught. Zelena didn't say anything the next time either. Or the next. Or the next. She just offered Alice what she thought she needed and they carried on.
This went on for a while. Zelena knew that Alice had been cleaning whenever she was gone. And so she started to leave the smallest of things for her to do after making sure no one left any large messes. It wasn't Alice's job to clean up after them but leaving little things for her to do seemed to be the only way she'd move if Zelena hadn't told her she could.
Whenever Zelena was gone, she'd clean. She'd stop if Robin, Regina, or Henry could see her so they'd often hide in their own rooms for a short time to allow her this small peace. Alice knew Zelena must know what she'd been doing, but she hadn't said anything. So it was okay, wasn't it? She was still scared of getting caught and so spent much of the time she was cleaning watching the door over her shoulder.
Zelena soon realized that this course of action wouldn't work in the long run. As far as Alice knew, she just wasn't getting caught. And Zelena wanted her to be able to move on her own in front of other people.
Zelena left a few dishes in the sink the next time she left. She told Alice how long she'd be gone. And Alice did what she'd been doing for a few weeks.
Zelena came home to Alice sitting in the kitchen corner and the dishes put in their proper places.
Zelena thought carefully about how she phrased the words. If she said the word clean Alice would take it as an order and Zelena wanted the opposite of that.
Zelena sat down across from Alice. She didn't get too close as she'd quickly learned Alice didn't feel comfortable being too close to her.
"This looks really good," Alice knew the word good. Robin said it when they played. But what looked good? "The kitchen, you did it good." Zelena adressed the question. Alice shook and pulled her legs closer to her chest. Zelena knew what she'd done. She was in so much trouble. "Thank-you."
Alice blinked. She said that, not the other way around. "It's good," Zelena told her again watching as Alice's eyes darted around the room as they tended to do. Alice was confused. She'd broken at least two rules and Zelena was telling her it was good. Alice nodded, she wasn't sure what else to do.
"Do you want to go play with Robin?" Zelena offered. She wished she could get Alice to do more on her own but maybe offering her something fun would work. Alice nodded and did as Zelena asked.
It was a step further in the right direction. Zelena hoped this would calm Alice's nerves.
The next time Zelena was gone Alice was slightly more comfortable with moving around. She only cleaned the kitchen then curled back into the corner of the kitchen but wasn't as scared when Zelena came home. Zelena told her she did a good job and asked her if she wanted to play a game. This seemed to ease Alice's worries but Zelena couldn't get Alice to move on her own in front of anyone. And whenever Zelena told her to go wherever she wanted it only resulted in Alice thinking she just meant it as an order for the moment, and wouldn't do it unless Zelena was there or told her to do it as she was leaving. Zelena let out a sigh, there had to be some way to get her to move on her own. Zelena thought about it some and had an idea. She'd try it the next time she left the house.
