Hey there! I managed to get it sorted for Christmas Eve! Boom! Kinda chuffed with myself, can't lie, haha! Merry Christmas everyone, extra long one for you, over 9k! Hope you enjoy, and for anyone that doesn't tend to read the end notes, here's a warning on this end as well, the usual TWO WEEK gap is gonna be a THREE WEEK gap this time. Honestly, I'm not gonna write/edit between Christmas and New year, so saying the 7th is just foolish haha. So! I shall see you guys on the 14th of Jan! Cya then!


DABI POV

The road had thundered so fast beneath the truck, Dabi had half expected them to just lose control and crash. He had too much to do, to die so stupidly. He demanded that Spinner drive better. These League clowns were so reckless. But as the convoy was stopped, purpose fell back into place and Dabi removed the Pro Hero threat. What he didn't understand was how much the League even had to do with this Overhaul guy. They tangled before, made losses on both sides, but since? Unless things had been happening without Dabi's knowledge. He hoped not, for the sake of his patience. The League were a means to an end, but that didn't mean he could let them get in the way of his plans.

Shigaraki knelt by Overhaul and waved a small box in front of him, something about Overhaul's life work? It made no sense. Clearly more had been going on. It had to be why Toga and Twice were so busy lately too. Dabi stepped closer as Overhaul's hands were removed, eyes wild as he realised how powerless he suddenly was. Dabi had no sympathy, but he was still curious.

Overhaul wailed. "It's all gone too far, you fucking foolish man child! Listen to me!"

Shigaraki waved a dismissive hand. "Let's go. We're doing just fin–"

"She's practically unstoppable now, you damn moron!"

She?

Dabi's eyes narrowed, noting how Shigaraki stilled at the mention.

Was this asshole talking about Alex?

Dabi stepped closer. "Who's unstoppable?"

Shigaraki sighed. "We'll discuss back at base. C'mon Dabi, leave the trash where he belongs."

Overhaul continued. "She'll tear you all apart! She won't remember the lab, I ensured that much, but she remembers enough! And she knows you were connected, Shigaraki! She knows that!"

Dabi knelt beside the manic Villain brought low. He gripped Chisaki's collar and pulled tight. "Alex? You talking about Alex?"

"Yes, moron!"

"So what's all that mean? You did something to her?"

"The hell are you talking about, and stop touching me you filthy shit! Yes I did something, I did as your damned child of a boss demanded and sanctioned. I looked into her endurance and worked with it, extended it, strengthened it– gh!" He gasped around the chokehold Dabi had on his throat.

"The fuck did you do to her?" He loosened his grip enough for a few words to sneak past.

"Worked… With other quirks… put them… into her system… just tests… ghn!" He coughed as he was released.

Dabi spun to loom over Shigaraki, blue eyes ablaze with fury as his jaw clenched and his staples threatened to tear due to how hard he shook with rage. "You knew about this? You demanded this?"

Shigaraki blinked.

Dabi growled. "How long has this fucking freak been toying with her?"

"Ten days." Shigaraki rolled his eyes. "And it was all for the bigger picture. We need to keep everyone leveled up. You know this."

"I don't know shit about you turning her into a play-thing again." He grabbed Shigaraki's collar and hauled him closer, till his red trainers barely touched the ground. "She's not your damn lab rat. She doesn't need to be prodded and toyed with by the likes of you. She's already–"

"On the path to joining us." Shigaraki didn't yell. He also kept his hands dangling by his sides. Dabi frowned, taking these things into account despite not loosening his grip at all. "Every time she is broken, do you know what else gets stronger, as well as her abilities?"

Dabi bared his teeth. "Her hatred for you?"

"Think bigger."

Dabi glared.

Shigaraki snorted. "Her hatred for the world. Every time the truth of this shitty world is underlined to her, all those years of Mr Hero Daddy and her Hero friends gets tainted. It gets weaker."

"And you nearly kill her over and over!" Dabi gripped tighter. "You piece of–"

"Yes, but at the end of the day, no matter how lovey and wonderful that life has been, she always ends up back in the muck."

Dabi's flames simmered under his skin, waiting to scorch Shigaraki from the earth. But he had to hear this out. There might be a plan. Might.

He breathed out through his nose. "You kept me out the damn loop because you knew how fucked up it was. You knew I'd refuse to let it happen. She's done enough, she's endured enough."

"She's always gonna be the point where you go soft, huh?"

"She's the point where I draw the line." Dabi snarled. "I want to help her, not break her."

"Sometimes those go hand in hand." Shigaraki grinned. "Toga took a video if you wanna see firsthand, but lemme sum it up. It was amazing. Alex came so close to killing Overhaul, she was on the verge of crossing that line."

Dabi glared, eyes darting to the still frantic Villain by their feet. Alex had nearly killed someone. Nearly taken a life, on purpose, in full control. The line. The line no Hero was meant to cross, and once they did, the darkness became all that harder to ignore. They had seen it before. It was the whole point of her long term plan in Shigaraki's eyes, right? Right. And it had nearly happened. She had nearly crossed the line, fallen from their false pedestal and returned to Dabi. He swallowed hard, thinking back to her expression on her birthday, when they spoke across the campus walls, the way she had looked at him with pity in her eyes. As if she felt sorry for him and his decisions. It made him sick. It made him worry he had lost her forever. He hadn't seen anything of his friend in that look. Nothing of the girl he had huddled out of the rain with, the girl he had kept warm, the girl he had shared stories with and kept from her nightmares, like she had kept him from his. But now? Maybe there was hope. Maybe.

Shigaraki giggled. "You know it's true. You know she can do it. It's all you're hoping for. Because the second she slips up, the moment she finally does something she wants instead of what she's told? They'll turn on her."

Dabi grit his teeth. The idea of those hypocrites turning on Alex, hurting her, doing a damn thing other than getting out of her way, it turned his stomach.

Shigaraki continued. "When it happens, when every Hero looks at her in disgust, when her Daddy and her friends reject her, who will she turn to?"

"Not you, that's for fuckin' sure, you damn–"

"You." Shigaraki laughed thinly. Dabi stopped and lowered him, taken back by the fact Shigaraki knew this, and it seemed to be part of the plan. Shigaraki intended for Alex to go to Dabi's side. Since when? For so long Dabi had assumed he would have to break her free, to double-cross the League and run with her as soon as he could. But now? Maybe he didn't need to do that.

Shigaraki grinned. "Think about it, you're the big strong big brother figure, right? Waiting in the shadows, eager to welcome her with open arms and an understanding smile. She knows you'll listen. She knows you'll be there. Her pride might take a minute to swallow that, but it'll happen. I know it will."

Dabi set him back on the ground. "How?"

"Because I have seen her snap, I've been on the receiving end of it. She broke my arm in five places. And if it hasn't happened today, it'll certainly happen eventually. Her power takes a lot to control, and her power can so easily destroy as well as save. All we need to do is wait for her to realise how much better it'll be to burn this world down and rebuild, than keep scrambling around trying to save it."

Dabi let go and stepped back from Shigaraki, looking down at his hands. Regardless of anything that had happened since, he would gladly reach for Alex when she made that choice. He could see it, tears on her face, uncertainty in her eyes, and there he'd be. Standing strong, waiting for her. He would make it all better, and she'd finally be free of the Hero bullshit. She'd hold on so tight. She could finally join in his plans. They'd make the whole world see the bullshit, together.

"Fine." Dabi snarled, glad to have things straightened out, but not about to pretend he was all right with Alex having been in pain and him being kept in the dark. "But stop treating her like a damn lab rat. All that's going to do is drive her insane."

Shigaraki shrugged. "Doesn't seem like the worst thing that could happen. She'd make a magnificently unhinged Villain."

Dabi grimaced and walked away. All he wanted now was to skip the waiting and reach the day that Alex returned. That she finally understood. Heroes used the world, and they used each other, and their families. Alex had been used enough. Time to be free.

"C'mon Alex… let me help you…"


SHOUTA POV

Shouta wanted to stay by Alex's side, but he had to get his stitches done. The nurses had refused to accept another 'no' or 'wait' for an answer. So he went, grit his teeth, got the stitches, and then found himself stalled outside Alex's hospital room. The window let him see from the corridor and he got stuck. She sat in the middle of her bed, having not slept a wink since being brought in the day before. Alex. In a medical gown too big for her, hanging loose from her sharp shoulders, the IV's taped down but still causing pinking against her pale skin. So still. So vacant. Her eyes were dull. Unseeing, but still occasionally having them open, drinking in any light she could perceive as her sight slowly returned. She nodded along to the legal jargon from the police–they had to interview her sooner rather than later–but her eyes stayed fixed on the bedding. She hugged her knees, keeping them tight to her chest. There was a blanket and hot water bottle, but still she shivered. Shouta guessed it wasn't much to do with being cold. Her statement would be taken and then she'd be allowed to rest. Except she wouldn't. Shouta kept trying to get her to sleep, but she refused. Barely laying down before sitting upright. The reason remained firmly behind her lips, but he guessed she either expected to wake up in captivity, or to lose more time.

Then she kept saying Shouta didn't have to stay.

It wasn't clear if that was a good sign or not; it was good she didn't feel clingy, but maybe she also couldn't trust him. She was taken in broad daylight. What faith can remain after that?

Shouta left; the interview looked like it would last a while longer, and he had just received a worrying message from Recovery Girl about Knight Eye's condition. It was better to get things done than hover. He would go back and do whatever he could to build Alex's trust again, but for now, he could help elsewhere.

First he went by the Eri girl's room. The doctors had been rushing in and out of there since they had arrived. She was going in and out of consciousness, but didn't seem to be in pain. That was something. As Shouta approached the window that looked into Eri's room, he could hear her soft voice asking questions. Words tripped over each other, and small gasps indicated if the doctor or nurse had moved too quickly. To anyone else it likely sounded ridiculous. But to Shouta, it was all familiar. It was the same as when Alex had woken from nightmares when first living with him, or simply being unused to someone else being in the room, not intending to hurt her. It would take time, but Eri would adjust. No doubt, Alex would be eager to help.

He stood by the glass and softly smiled as the girl mumbled a thank you to the Nurse laying fresh blankets on top of her bed. Alex had been right, the kid was clearly very sweet, despite her rough treatment. Big eyes landed on Shouta. He went still. That was familiar too, the way those eyes made it seem like his soul was being read. Alex had the same thing, still did. Like they could look right through you. For better or worse.

The little girl frowned and pointed to him, her voice only slightly muffled by the glass. "Is that the Knight?"

Shouta shared a confused glance with the Nurse.

The Nurse knelt by Eri's bed. "What Knight, sweetheart?"

"Alex… The nice girl I was with... She talked about a Knight. Said he had black armour, a-and he was calling out to Alex when we were all outside. Is… Is he the Knight?"

Shouta had no idea what Eri was talking about, but he dipped his head and moved away, not wanting to cause any more disturbance than he already had. Knight? What had Alex been saying? He walked along, heading towards where Midoryia was being looked after. But he couldn't get those eyes out of his mind, and that question. A knight. A protector? Had Alex been telling the kid stories or something? Or was she just talking about Knight Eye? No, she wouldn't have known he was involved. She must have been making things up for Eri. Maybe. He swallowed hard and paused by a water cooler to take a drink, needing to collect himself, and avoid Midoryia seeing his teacher getting misty-eyed.

More messages came through about Knight Eye.

It wasn't looking good.

Midoryia had to be told, and beyond that, Alex would want to know how her friends were doing. The least Shouta could do was give her proper answers, for what little he could actually know. The boy was being checked over when Shouta finally found him. Midoryia looked a little shaken, but generally all right. Far better than he had any right to look considering how hard he had pushed himself and his quirk. Shouta wished he had been more involved though. As a teacher, and a father, he had some serious time to make up for.

Midoryia spotted him and bowed, because of course he did. Ever the faithful student.

Shouta nodded and they walked together. The words didn't want to be voiced, because his pride was being precious, but that didn't matter. He had to make amends.

He cleared his throat. "Midoryia, I'm sorry I couldn't be with you at the end, when it counted."

The boy frowned. "It's all right, sir. Don't be silly."

Shouta raised a brow. Silly?

The boy continued. "Please tell me, how are all the others?"

These kids had no concept of their own well being.

Shouta smirked. "Kirishima is covered in bruises and lacerations from head to toe, but he'll live. Amajiki cracked a bone in his face, and he has some other minor injuries, but none of them should leave a scar. Fatgum has a few broken bones too, but he seems mostly fine otherwise. Luckily the blade that stabbed Lock Rock didn't hit any vital organs, so he should make a full recovery."

"I'm so glad." Midoryia then gnawed his lip. "Uh, sir? What about Eri? And Alex?"

"Alex is being monitored, she's still 85% blind, and is having her statement taken. It's clear though that her memories have been altered, so don't discuss the footage we saw with her when you see her. At some point she will be shown it, because she's demanding to be, but right now we're treading carefully. There's no telling how her memories have been changed, or what could happen if they suddenly returned."

"I'll do my best to keep her calm."

Shouta sighed. "Good luck. It's going to take time to get through to her, I think."

Watching her on the field, Shouta truly believed he was about to witness Alex destroy Chisaki, to watch her tear a man apart. The darkness kept looming. It kept threatening to infect her and never let go. Thankfully she beat it back yet again. This time. How many chances did they get?

He shook himself free of dark thoughts. "We'll get through it."

"Of course, sir. We'll all be there for her."

Shouta nodded. It was one of the reasons he hadn't already lost his mind. Regardless of his own failings, Alex had her friends.

He continued. "Eri remains feverish, and sleeping fitfully. She's been quarantined for now. She is at least talking whenever she's conscious for long enough though."

Midoryia paused, brows lifting. "Quarantined? Really? So does that mean I won't be able to see her?"

"You know, they made that call based on your description of what happened back there. She's got a dangerous quirk and no control over it. If something provoked her to activate it again, I'm the only one who can stop her. Or maybe Alex, they seem to have a connection. You could only touch Eri because you kept destroying your body faster than she could rewind it, right?"

The boy had the decency to blush. "Yeah."

Even though Shouta knew he should be scolding Midoryia, it was also clear that it was likely the only reason the boy had survived. So instead, Shouta went with a slight tone of praise. Slight. "There aren't exactly a lot of people who can pull that off. And even if there were, who's to say how powerful she really is. We have no idea what her limits are."

They stepped into the elevator and the gears rumbled as they climbed.

Midoryia scratched the back of his neck. "I know what you mean, if you hadn't been there to make her stop, I'm not sure what would have happened."

"Teaching her control will be especially hard considering her quirk only seems to work on people, when you're training on live subjects, the danger is exponentially greater. Her emotional state seemed to affect it too. With so many variables it makes sense to keep her quarantined. For her sake as well as ours." Shouta led the way to a set of double doors. "I'm sure Alex will be able to help though, she spoke fondly of the girl."

"Alex tends to take people under her wing, yeah." Midoryia smiled and then looked at the doors warily. "Uh sir… Where are w–"

"And all that was to underline that… With Eri, in other words, we can't depend on the girl or her quirk right now."

"Huh?"

"All we can do is accept it, now come on. Some others have joined us."

Shouta didn't want to have to show this Midoryia, but he also knew the boy couldn't find out via gossip later. Knight Eye was dying. It hadn't been much time, there wouldn't be much of a connection, but Midoryia had a passion that Shouta never quite knew what to do with. So losing a mentor, even a briefly present one, would hit the boy hard. Along with that, it was someone he hadn't saved.

As Midoryia pressed his hands against the glass, seeing Knight Eye full of tubes, pale and weakening, Shouta missed Alex more than ever. She knew how to read people, to console them. Shouta was lost. Utterly. Toshinori arrived next, and as they said their hushed goodbyes, Mirio was soon to follow. Shouta remained close but out of the way, he knew Knight Eye but they had never been close.

So it was weird when the man gestured to Shouta to come closer. He made it as far as the end of the bed.

Knight Eye smirked under his oxygen mask, eyes getting dull. "I believed Fate to be a fixed thing once I had seen it, but Deku here has shown me that this is not so. And your daughter, Aizawa. She has shown me that as well."

Shouta swallowed hard. "You said you saw her the other day in the vision, things could have changed–"

"No." Knight Eye coughed. "When I looked during the fight, I saw Deku fall in his attempts to keep Eri safe, and then Alex stood up against Chisaki. She stood in front of all of us, making shield after shield, edging closer to reach Eri every single time. She wouldn't listen, she refused anything but getting to Eri and…" Another cough, splattering a little blood against the mask. "And I tell you this because of the changed outcome, but also what I saw next."

Shouta guessed he wasn't going to like it, even if it hadn't happened.

"Alex got so wrapped up in her goal, so determined to save Eri, that she was torn apart by her own quirk."

Shouta gripped the bed frame.

Everyone looked between him and Knight Eye.

Knight Eye continued. "I do not know what Chisaki did to her in that lab, how much he improved her Endurance, but it is not limitless. She died by her own power, and I tell you this so that you can help her avoid that fate. You can stop her from being destroyed by herself."

Shouta swallowed hard, his head pounding as he easily imagined what had been described. It was far too easy to see. Then he nodded. He couldn't speak, there were too many questions. Knight Eye didn't have long and he still had to say goodbye to Mirio. There wasn't time for further explanation. Shouta stepped back, to let the mourners have their time, whilst he leaned against the wall and tried to think. Whatever had been done to Alex's body in that lab had changed how her quirk worked. That had to be it. Otherwise, she would have never gotten that far with her power before. The nosebleeds and brain bleeds were awful, but suddenly they seemed like a fail safe. They stopped Alex. They prevented her going too far. Now… Now potentially she didn't have that. They had to be careful. They had to train her control instead of stamina.

Shouta closed his eyes as Mirio sobbed harder, the light leaving Knight Eye's gaze as he talked of potential bright futures. It was possible, of course, and they had won the day, but now Shouta had a knot of worry in his stomach. And he wasn't sure it would ever be untied.

When Alex had floated off the ground, her body hovering so far above the carnage and the prone body of her enemy, she had been like a beautiful avenging angel. But at the same time, so cold. Her face had been impassive, staring at Overhaul like a car to be dismantled, not a human. He barely counted as that for what he had done, but that wasn't the point. The darkness. Had it been beaten? Or just swallowed for the time being?

Shouta shook his head. Seeing her sat in the middle of her bed, not sleeping, barely managing to eat, eyes dull as she listened to the police and the following procedure. Like she had stepped away from her body. Like she listened through thick glass. Detached. Cold. Would she ever be warm again? She had smiled so broadly and laughed when feeling the sunlight during the fight. The joy was still in there. Shouta just had to try and help her find it, and keep it going. Keep it breathing.

The heart monitor succumbed to a thin whine.

Mirio bellowed, All Might barely clung to composure and Midoryia hung his head. Knight Eye was gone. A lot was changing and it didn't seem bothered about them catching up. But at least they had their team. Their family. Shouta hugged himself tightly.

They would get through.

They would not let the darkness win.


ALEX POV

The door clicks behind the police and I'm left alone. I think. Someone was sitting in here monitoring me earlier, but I think they're gone. I send out a pulse and find nothing but a leaning fake plant and a couple uncomfy chairs. Other than that it's me, this scratchy gown and this tiny bed. Familiar yet horrible. I pick at the blanket. Some of my sight has returned, at least I can tell when the lights are on, and I can see the movement of vague shapes. Generally though, my eyes remain closed, having them open is kinda disorientating. Dad went to get his stitches done–the idiot was stabbed in the shoulder and never even said anything. Izuku was getting more tests done and everyone else is being patched up or monitored for their condition. I can only assume things aren't going well with Knight Eye, because everyone has avoided answering any questions I've had about his condition. At the end, as they took him into the ambulance, his pulse had been thready at best. This new reach with my quirk, despite my blindness, lets me see a whole lot more in many ways. Not sure if I'm glad of that or not yet. Sometimes, ignorance can be bliss. Good luck Knight Eye… Though I feel naive even thinking that.

Nem and Hizashi will be here soon no doubt, but are likely gathering me a few home comforts–I'm also not sure if it's a good thing or not that I can so accurately guess what they'll do in this scenario. It's happened so often though that I guess it's to be expected. Me and Bakugo were right, I really should be paying rent.

I flop back on the bed and listen to the hum of the machines checking on my various vitals, ensuring this withered body is still functioning on some level. One IV is for the malnutrition caused by whatever draining quirk was used to keep me weak, another is blood to replace what I had lost, and the third is something else. The doctors told me, the nurses too, but eventually I just tuned it out. It doesn't matter, as long as it gets me home quicker. Well, after I've seen Eri. Words like 'Quarantine' and 'Monitor' make me itch. I know she's safe. But I still need to see it myself, with my eyes or my quirk.

There's a knock at my door.

I stay lying down. "If you're a nurse, go away please. If you're someone else, you better have coffee."

The door opens. "Not a nurse, and no coffee yet." Sho steps inside and closes the door.

I grip the blankets. Shit. I hadn't had time to even ask for a wig yet. Or to get some real clothes from Nem and Hizashi. Can I scramble under the blankets without him seeing my spindly limbs? No. It's definitely too late for that. Wait, what the hell am I even thinking? Wigs? Who the fuck cares, he got attacked by Toga! Or something! Prioritise Alex…

He continues. "But the coffee situation is down to the machine being broken on this floor. Bakugo has gone to the cafe though, so coffee is incoming. "

I sit up. "Are you okay?"

The smudge of Sho slowly approaches, and I can only imagine his eyes are raking over me. Fuck. I must look like shi–

"Am I okay?" He repeats, perching on the bed. "Alex you've just been through–"

"Fuck that, what did Toga do?" I demand, tempted to lunge forward but not wanting to risk simply toppling off the bed and having my medical gown up over my ears when Bakugo comes in with coffee.

Sho sighs. "If you insist… She wanted to make a grand exit, she messed with me and Bakugo, but we should probably talk about this once he's here, okay? Can I…" He clears his throat. "Can I hold your hand?"

I slide one across the blanket and he takes it in his warm one, gently squeezing.

Is he shaking or am I?

I close my eyes as the moving blobs start to make me dizzy, and bite my lip. "I'm so sorry, it all happened so quickly and–"

"The last thing you should be doing right now, is blaming yourself… So naturally that's what you're doing." He laughs breathlessly, and a kiss is pressed to the back of my hand. "I'm guessing my apology would be refused?"

"Too right. I uh… I was gonna ask my Dad for a wig but–"

"Alex." He squeezes my hand slightly again. "You're beautiful, not that this is the focus right now as far as I'm concerned, but if it's what's worrying you, you're beautiful." He leans closer, I can only tell thanks to the bed shifting under him. "Can I kiss you?"

My eyes are getting warm. I nod and try not to hold my breath as I wait, which isn't long, but the small gasp that escapes me makes me regret the non-holding-of-breath. He cups my face and I smile into the kiss, my own hands coming up to hold onto his jumper. It feels like his black polo neck. So soft, with the little horizontal bumps due to the fancy wool. His fingers go into my hair… or they would have. I shudder and edge back a little, him not lingering for a second longer when he notices.

His fingers run along the shell of my ear. "Sorry, was that too much?"

"N-No." I sniff and look down despite my eyes being closed, and there was no way this hid the blush ravaging my cheeks and neck. "I just… It was weird to feel you do the hair thing when…"

"When there's no hair," he finishes quietly, kissing the back of my hand again. "It'll grow back."

"I know. I know." I laugh at myself and wipe the silly tears. "Of all the things to get upset about… Stupid, right?"

"It's the most immediate and tangible. So no, not stupid at all." I know he's tilting his head, I can hear it in his voice. Seems I know him pretty well. I nod and he moves, shuffling closer so he can hug me loosely round the shoulders. "It's not silly. If it upsets you, it's perfectly valid."

I lean against him. So warm, solid and strong. "I missed you so much, Sho."

"I missed you too, I didn't know it wasn't you in so far as actually identifying the problem but… well I missed you for other reasons."

I cringe. "Was she horrible to you?"

"Not the uh… Nicest no."

I bite my lip. "So… What, you thought I'd gone off you or something?"

I feel the tension roll over him.

I put a hand over my face. "I'm not sure we have enough room in this relationship for another set of crippling confidence issues, Mr Todoroki. Mine take up plenty space."

"I'm allowed a wobble." He kisses my cheek. "We'll get through this together, all right? We can talk about it all. Nothing is off the table."

"Sounds perfect." I turn and open my eyes, his red and white hair quite clear even if the rest is a haze. I raise a brow. "Until I can see, you will have to initiate kisses, or else we are both going to have concussion. I've got shapes and colours, but no distance."

"A very good point." He hums and puts a hand to my cheek, drawing closer. "My beautiful Alex."

I could make a joke about how it's meant to be me with sight issues. I could laugh off the compliment and dodge it like usual. But right now, it just feels good to be loved. Our lips meet and I focus on that, not the prickle of my stubbled head, not the tug of IV's, or rustle of cheap medical gowns. No. Just him and me for a blissful moment, and that little fizz in my veins that wants to push things further. Perfect.

Something hits the door.

It hits again.

"You want fuckin' pastry all over the floor dumbasses? Open up or I'm fuckin' leavin'!"

I grin and Sho chuckles as he gets up from the bed to open the door.

"Young man!" A nurse scolds, her steps hurrying along the corridor towards our impatient friend.

"Huh? I'm delivering emergency supplies to a patient, what's it to you?" Bakugo storms inside.

The nurse fusses at the door and I just give a small wave. "Excuse my boisterous friend, he's not had his medication today."

"There's no need for such language young man, keep it civil." And she storms away, still tutting from the other end of the corridor.

Sho closes the door and returns to the bed where Bakugo has already perched and put a bag into my hands. For some reason, though I don't recall why, the fact he brought pastries makes me chuckle. I tear a piece off and hum at the almond croissant goodness. I haven't managed to eat anything much beyond some toast, but this has my mouth watering.

"Got you that sickly caramel latte shit you like, too. But ask for that, I ain't putting that on the bed for your blind ass to knock over."

"Hey I am only 85% blind still, you jackass."

"Is it still enough to send coffee flying?"

I pout. "I guess."

"Then on the table it stays." He grumbles, before going quiet and nudging me. "You want a hug?"

I purse my lips against laughter. "Sure, indulge me, Asshole."

He pulls me into a tight hug and huffs. "Missed you, or whatever."

"As ever, you are a poet, Bakugo."

"Fuckin' right I am. So you just being looked after now? Or they still doing tests and stuff?"

"I have no idea, I stopped listening." I nibble my pastry. "I think it's just rest and a little monitoring now. No one wants to prod me much it seems, not that I'm gonna complain."

They both hum in agreement.

I swallow. "So now that you're both here, can I ask what the hell happened with Toga?"

Bakugo snorts. "Didn't even make it thirty seconds before you diverted attention. Gotta be a new record."

"I look forward to my medal, now spill."

"That bitch messed us up a bit and ran, that's all."

"Messed up how?" I press, chewing the pastry slowly.

I have to keep a lid on my temper, to avoid my power fluctuating. I nearly lost it on the field before Ura and the others talked me down. I can't do that here. So many people could be hurt. I don't want to be that person. There's a line I can't afford to cross.

They're both quiet.

I sigh. "C'mon guys, please? Not knowing is only gonna let my imagination run wild."

Sho takes his seat beside me. "All right, but don't rush into suddenly blaming yourself or anything okay? We're both all right now, both healed and recovered."

"I'll do my best." I smile and hold my hands out. "Pass me my coffee and I'll have to sit still."

"Yeah, right." Bakugo snorts and I stick my tongue out in his general direction.

Sho explains and I focus on the warmth in the cup I'm holding. They had been completely caught off guard. She attacked them both in their rooms, totally blindsiding them. They didn't even know whether to fight back or not because they didn't know if it was me being controlled. Dammit. Well played Toga, you piece of shit.

"So…" I take a sip and then a deep breath. "You both got stabbed, Sho pretty uhm… extensively and Bakugo you also got a bad bash to the head?"

"A couple." He mutters. "But like IcyHot said, we're fine now. And your Dad already knows we're here, so don't worry, it's all pre-planned and allowed and shit."

"Allowed?" I raise a brow and snort. "Why wouldn't you be allowed to see me?"

"Well we were in a secure facility to stop us running off to find you."

I grin and shake my head. "Damn, they're getting wise to us all, huh?"

Bakugo laughs. "Yeah guess so. Shitty Hair came to see us, all emotional and shit, but I think the rest of them are doing okay."

"Good to know."

He nudges my shoulder. "So c'mon, no more dodging. Apart from the blindness and excuse to wear insane wigs, how're you doing?"

So blunt. So harsh. So Bakugo.

I sip the coffee. Instinct tells me to be brief, to reassure them, to highlight all the good and skim the bad. But instinct is what led to them not being sure it was an imposter. They didn't know because I so frequently just shut down. Sure, I'd been better lately, but not enough. Time to learn. And time to put lessons to action.

"I'm processing."

They wait.

I lick milk froth from my lip. "I can't see, I can't stop shaking, my heads oddly cold, and I think if I move too quickly my damn skinny shoulders might rip this medical gown. There's… There's a bunch of time missing from when I was taken, and a lot of that is something to do with my Endurance quirk being improved. I think."

I swallow.

Sho runs a hand along my back.

Bakugo touches his knee to mine.

I sip the coffee. "I wanted to kill him."

I can't even see them and I know they've gone tense. They're right back in that kitchen when I wanted to kill One for All, and I can't blame them. In a way, I sort of hope they can't blame me either–

"Of course you wanted that." Bakugo mutters.

Sho squeezes my shoulder. "Exactly. It would be foolish to pretend otherwise." He kisses my cheek. "What matters is what you acted on."

I grit my teeth. "I don't know if I'd have stopped without Ura and Deku…"

"But you did." Bakugo knocks knees with me again. "That's what counts. Actions."

Tears are brewing. I have to be honest with them now, right? Withholding is what led to them not knowing what was real and what wasn't. Be open. Say it.

I suck in a thick breath, my throat feeling clogged by a large lump. "What about the next time? If someone's not there to–"

"You have a team." Sho hugs me gently from the side. "You have a family."

But…

Can I say it?

Can I admit these fears?

I sniff. "But what if I'm alone again?"

They're quiet. It's probably unfair of me to even ask, it's not like they can predict the future. It's not like I want to be minded every moment of every day. But the fear. It's there. I was just in a store, minding my own business, buying noodles for Dad, in daylight, and I was stolen. Taken like an abandoned handbag. Thrown into a car, beaten by thugs and then… then I have no idea what else happened because the memories are gone. But regardless, it wasn't good.

I swallow, their silence stinging my ears. "Sorry. That must sound so st–"

"No, it's fine." Sho breathes. "It's understandable."

Bakugo leans forward on his knees, the dark shape of his hoodie bending over. He sighs heavily. "There's no real way to promise shit, and I ain't about to make a promise I can't fuckin' keep. So…"

"So…" Sho thinks as well, and I just focus on the warmth of them both being here. Right now I'm safe, right now I'm recovering. One step at a time.

Bakugo rubs the back of his neck, hand pink against the dark hoodie. "So maybe we just have to start by working on those impulses? I uh… Well I get having a knee-jerk reaction to get super pissed. Workin' on it, but gonna take a long time. It's not the same, I know, but… it's something?" He shrugs and looks back.

I smile and nod. "Yeah, I think that would help, thanks."

"Don't be fuckin' stupid." He rolls his eyes, knocking knees again. "You don't have to thank me."

"Yeah, but it's still nice to say." I knock back and he looks away, slurping his own coffee.

Sho runs his hand along my arm. "I guess… Perhaps it would be helpful for me to share some uhm… notes from my time working through things?"

I can only imagine he means when his whole family had to have interviews when his mother was taken into the hospital. I nod and take his other hand and squeeze. He knows I won't judge whatever those notes say, but still, the faint pink blush makes sense. I'm just honoured he's willing to share those things with me. No doubt Dad will want me to be talking to counselors but I can't say I'm all that eager. More doctors. More people peering at me, but instead of my body it'll be my mind. A headache brews just thinking about it.

I lick my lips, suddenly feeling dry. "I know it doesn't need to be said, but… Thanks you too. For… For not giving up on me yet."

Bakugo snorts. "You didn't give up on us, did you?"

"Why would I?" I blink.

"Neither of us are exactly social experts. I'm an asshole and this guy's a cold fish."

"Then we make a fine unit." I bite my lip. "The Asshole, Cold Fish and Basket-Case. Sounds like the start of a really shitty kids book, doesn't it?"

Sho chuckles. "Mm, I hope it's not pop-up."

Bakugo jolts. "Okay you gotta warn me about that shit, you can't just go crackin' jokes without warning IcyHot, it's fucking weird."

Sho shrugs. "Got to keep you on your toes King Explosion Murder."

We laugh and despite the snarl, Bakugo is chuckling as well. We enjoy our drinks, eat our pastries and I feel little parts of myself coming back together. I can do this. I can find the light again. They haven't given up on me, so neither should I.

I yawn and they both get up off the bed.

Sho kisses my head and helps me under the covers. "We'll be back whenever we can be, unless you're released before that." He tucks me in. "Sorry we can't stay longer."

"S'fine." I mumble, snuggling into the pillow. "Thanks for coming by, though the coffee seems to have had the opposite effect than intended."

Bakugo barks a laugh. "Decaff you dumbass. You need rest."

I flip the bird at him as he opens the door and a far off gasp lets me know a nurse saw it as well. Whoops. I wave and try to let myself drift off, the warmth of their visit helping lull me past the darkness and simply welcome sleep.

I can do this.

I can come back to the light.


BAKUGO POV

Bakugo closed the door and let Todoroki talk to the Nurses about when visiting hours, then something needed filling out as well and the rest of the conversation was lost as Bakugo looked through the window into her room. Alex lay under the blankets, still and seemingly resting. Her shoulder moved slightly with each breath and her eyelashes stopped fluttering as she sunk deeper. Still, he couldn't find peace in the image. The scratches along her arms, the bruising on her face, the shadows under her eyes and scrapes against her shaved scalp. Sure they had seen her in the hospital plenty times, they had even joked together about her needing to start paying rent after Kamino. But something was different this time. Something that made it hard to let go of the door handle–until he jumped away as Todoroki returned and nudged his arm.

Todoroki raised a brow. "Why're you so jumpy?" His eyes went to the window, peering. "She looks all right, did something change in the last thirty seconds?"

"No, smartass. Was just thinkin'." Bakugo grumbled, zipping up his hoodie and shoving his hands into his pockets. "We heading back to the dorms or what? Don't think there's enough time to see anyone else, Nurse's are fuckin' anal about visitor times around here."

"Yeah, let's head back. No doubt Mr Aizawa will be back to see her soon anyway, they won't throw him out."

"Wanna walk?" Bakugo fell into step beside Todoroki as they made for the stairs.

"Sure, it's not far. Are your legs still stiff after training?"

"Nah just… wanted some air." Bakugo shrugged and headed down the stairs, hating the smell of hospitals and the echoing against blank magnolia walls. Too clean, cold and dead feeling. He shook his head, that word not being allowed in there right now. They were fine, everyone came back, but it could have gone different. Kirishima had been black and blue, and from what FatGum had said it had been close to being way more serious. Then there was Alex. There was no telling what would have happened if she hadn't been found in time.

He missed the last step and shoulder barged the door a bit due to tripping.

The evening air was crisp and he took a long breath, having ended up a few strides ahead of Todoroki. The stair door closed behind them and the steady steps of Todoroki came alongside. He wouldn't likely ask questions, the guy was good with boundaries. Sometimes too good. But in that moment, Bakugo was glad. His friends were back, they were being looked after, and yet his stomach kept churning. Why? Because really he knew why it felt different that time.

It was her eyes.

They started to walk along the made road, it only being a few blocks between the hospital and the school grounds, and the streets were being heavily monitored anyway. Bakugo kicked a can, he kept his head low and wondered if he should ask Todoroki if he had noticed. It might just be in his own head after all. Worrying over nothing. Not that he was worried. That would be stupid. Right?

Todoroki took a long breath. "Bakugo, apart from the obvious… Did she seem… Different?"

Bakugo looked up, finding his classmate frowning at the middle-distance, jaw tight and hands clasping and unclasping at his side, as if trying to grab hold of something and repeatedly failing. Maybe it wasn't just in Bakugo's head.

Todoroki looked at him and raised a brow. "Bakugo?"

"Her eyes." He said, having to clear his throat when his voice came out scratchy. "It was her eyes. Not the blindness or anything but…"

Todoroki nodded slowly, but still looked lost.

Bakugo kicked the can again as they continued walking. "When she woke up after the USJ she was immediately alert, asking after her Dad and all that shit. Then with Kamino too, she was still there, still kinda bright and stuff. But now she… yeah there was something dull. It didn't look right."

"And you don't think it's the blindness quirk?"

Bakugo shook his head. "Nah, it was… deeper than that. I probably sound so fuckin' stupid."

"No." Todoroki took his turn to kick the can. "I just… I don't know how to respond. What does that mean? Dull eyes…"

Bakugo grit his teeth. How to describe it but not sound like he was spelling out doom or something else melodramatic? He huffed. Todoroki wouldn't take it like that anyway. Clearly he had a methodical mind. The guy hadn't even been pissed off when being told Bakugo had made out with the fake Alex, be it his choice or not, most boyfriends would have at least thrown a punch.

"At Kamino…" Bakugo tried to find the words. His nails dug into his palms inside his hoodie pockets. "Even when crawling outta the rubble, being pummeled by All for One, she still had that spark, that… I dunno, determination? It's the same kinda freaky spark that Deku has. It's weird, but it's usually consistent as hell. And even when she… When her back got busted, she was on the ropes and everything, she still had it. But in there just now, there was nothing. She smiled, sure. But it never touched her eyes, she laughed, but it was like hearing it down a tunnel or some shit. I dunno. It's hard to pinpoint but–"

"No, you're right." Todoroki swallowed hard. "Now that you say it, you're totally right. It's the same light that's in Midoryia. I don't understand it either, but it's there. Normally." He looked at his shoes and frowned again. "Maybe it's just that she's so tired? They said a draining quirk had been used on her right?"

"Right." Bakugo nodded, but missed the can when he went for another kick. "It could be just that."

Todoroki cleared his throat. "What else do you think it could be?"

"I dunno… I'm hardly a brain doc."

"No, but you're good at reading her."

"And you ain't?" Bakugo scoffed and raised a brow. Todoroki looked to the side, shrugging. Bakugo glared. "Oi, I'm fuckin' talking to you. Speak."

Todoroki heaved another sigh. "I can hardly claim to be reading her well when I didn't–"

"You did spot it, you moron." Bakugo glared when Todoroki did. "What? You're being a moron so I'll call you one. I get it, it's shitty that we didn't figure it out sooner, it's horrible, but I'm pretty sure getting stabbed due to that mistake is pretty good for balancing Karma. And she doesn't blame us. You knew that the second it happened, just like I did."

"As infuriating as that is, yeah." Todoroki scraped his hair back, a few red hairs mixing with the white, though of course in that light the white looked more like orange. Bakugo looked away and kicked another can, extra hard so it soared ahead of them, nearing the school gate.

"Look, all we gotta do is be there. We're both gonna be helping her with the… well the kinda murdering thoughts or whatever. Aren't we?"

Todoroki nodded, hands clenched.

Bakugo rolled his eyes. "I ain't gonna pry, but I'm gonna go on a limb here and say your experience is to do with your shitty Dad?"

Todoroki was quiet, but Bakugo waited. Despite his own social hard-headedness, even he knew the subject was a touchy one. His own upbringing had likely been a bit odd, his mother was hardly known for being maternal, but he had been loved. No matter what, he had been loved to the ends of the earth. Todoroki had a whole other upbringing. Bakugo knew well enough that he had no idea what Todoroki had endured.

"Out on a limb." Todoroki mumbled.

"Huh?"

Todoroki breathed out through his nose. "It's 'out on a limb', not just 'on a limb'."

Bakugo stopped walking.

Todoroki took a couple more steps before doing the same and looking back, apparently unaware of being a total ass. A bird chirped nearby. A car drove past.

Bakugo tilted his head. "That's gotta be the dumbest attempt at a tangent I've ever heard."

Todoroki pursed his lips. "No idea what you mean."

"Y'know exactly what I mean. Now grammar shit aside, on all the limbs ya fuckin' want, am I right? Is that where your 'notes' come from?"

"Why?" The glare reappeared on Todoroki's brow.

"Because we're talking about Alex and I'm just wantin' an idea, jeez never mind then." He continued walking, about to pass by when Todoroki reached and put a hand on his arm. Bakugo paused and looked from the hand to the impassive face.

Todoroki removed the hand. "You're right. Sorry."

"Mhm."

"The notes are from that, yeah. So a fair bit of it is about dealing with anger and impulses like that."

"Sounds perfect, don't need to know more." Bakugo nodded forward. "We moving or what?"

They fell into step again, the light dimming in the sky as they passed under the school gate and headed for the dorms. Lights began to appear in the windows, and no doubt the dorm kitchen would be busy by now with idiots doing things wrong.

"Before we go in…" Todoroki slowed and they stopped a few strides short of the door. "I've got a couple more questions."

"Jesus… Fine, what is it?"

"First, are you planning on mentioning the full extent of what Toga did to you?"

Bakugo's mouth closed and he looked down at the path. The simple fact was, telling Todoroki was a lot simpler than telling Alex. Todoroki could quickly put it in the column of 'a fucked up thing a villain did', but Alex would read into it. She would worry she had caused it, that her attitude towards Bakugo had made the villains think it was an angle to use. He didn't want that to mess things up between them. Friendships weren't exactly something he found easy, and the last thing he wanted to turn one sour was an unrequited affection on his part, and her worrying over nothing.

"I dunno." He shrugged.

Todoroki hummed. "It's tricky. They might use it, but then again, right now she has so much happening that it could just send her spiralling into overthinking."

"Exactly." Bakugo groaned. "How about… Not yet, but it's not off the table?"

"I think… All right. That'll have to do for now I think."

Bakugo rocked back on his heels, doing his best not to let the images flash up behind his eyelids. It hadn't been Alex. But it damn well looked like her, down to the last freckled detail. So confusing.

He cleared his throat. "Other question?"

"How close do you think we need to watch her? The last thing I want to do is make her feel studied."

It would be easy to assume someone as quiet and withheld as Todoroki was cold, and even uncaring. But he wasn't. Bakugo wasn't sure if they counted as friends, or just friends of the same person adjacent, or whatever. But he was glad to know the guy a bit better. Whatever that meant in the long run. Somehow Alex must have seen the caring guy under the frost, but then again, she seemed to have seen something in Bakugo too. The girl who had gone blind saw way better than a lot of people. Bakugo rolled his eyes at himself and focused.

"We let her know we're there. We encourage the open moments when she has them and we go apeshit at the word 'fine'." He smirked as Todoroki did a double take, soon reflecting the smirk. "Take it day by day man. She will be too, no doubt."

"Right. Processing."

Bakugo nodded. "Processing."

The fire alarm sounded.

Bakugo grumbled. "Fuck sake, which idiot was it this time…"

"My bet's on Kaminari."

"Agreed."


DUN DUN DUUUUN! And there we have it folks, the last update of 2020, what a year eh?! I hope you all have an awesome festive period, however you celebrate or however you can in these mad times. See you on the 14th, REMEMBER, gonna be 3 weeks between now and then as I won't be likely doing anything remotely writing/editing in the space between Christmas and new year, just not likely haha, so I'm putting in a delay now to avoid a delay later! Have a good one folks, thanks to everyone reading, following, faving and reviewing! I LOOVE being able to respond to folks on here!

SHOUTOUTS:

Zikiashigaku: Glad you liked the pay off! I wanted the tension RIGHT up there, so thanks for pointing it out! It always intrigued me, the idea of it almost being like sonar or something, kinda like Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender. Yeah this is all really going to hammer home for Alex how important it is to be honest with folks, due to the imposter thing. I want that to shine. Hope you enjoyed it! See you next year! Thanks again for commenting, really makes all the difference!

Guest: Not sure if you'll have made it this far as you commented on Chpt 23, but just in case! Thanks for the notes tbh, all welcome, as ever! But really the point of Alex having multiple scars and such was more me wanting to make a comment on how often these characters are torn into, but never left with any visible damage. I think Deku might be the first example of a MC I've seen, reeeeally showing signs of battle damage. Not meant to have anything much to do with her being "desirable". Not really her focus or mine. But anyway, just my reasoning! But totally get why it might also put you off. Hope you kept reading, totally get it if you didn't tho! On the shield point tho, I have to disagree haha, in my mind the issue of the knife vs an explosion etc was the sharpness of the point of impact. BUUT if I didn't do that properly in the scene, then that's totally on me as the writer! I'll be sure to keep such details in mind for the future.