Hello! New update time! This is... well this is chonky to be honest, over 9k haha, so there you go, but it is split into a couple sections so hopefully it's not "too" long. But I didn't wanna split these happenings up, hopefully its clear why as you go! And tbh... I just had so much fun writing the Endeavour bit. SASS AHOY. Hope you all enjoy, and see you again in another two weeks!
ALEX POV
Stay in the dorms to overthink everything, or go along with Sho and Bakugo to their training? The latter, thank you! As predicted Dad is busy with paperwork and police matters anyway, and although he did offer me joining him, I couldn't stomach the thought of more questions. No. No more statements and combing details. Not till I can bloody see properly, at least. A few patches remain blurry, but I can claim 90% vision now. So I got up early and came downstairs to wait outside with Toshi and Hizashi. It was a beautiful day, and I was still on a high from sending the Vision villain packing.
"You just… got rid of him? Damn girl!" Hizashi clapped me on the back and laughed. "You've come a long way, huh? Glad to hear you put him in his place, damn creep."
Toshi nodded. "It's very impressive. And you think he's likely in every vision?"
"That's only a theory, but it would make sense that I spotted him that time. Small scene, quiet scene, with not many places to hide himself. Something to look out for in the future." I shrugged and yawned, the early morning coffee not quite kicking in yet.
As we wait, Toshi kept tapping his foot and I think Hizashi might have been on his third version of that god awful song that's number 1 right now. I was about to go back inside to drag Bakugo and Sho out myself when finally the doors opened and steps approached.
Hiz tutted. "You're late! Ya bad boys!
Sho blinked, having presumably totally forgotten what my Dad said last night about the teaching situation. He looked between Hiz and Toshi in total confusion. "Present Mic, All Might, why're you here?"
"We'll be taking you to training today." Toshi dipped his head.
Hiz bounced over and started to bravely prod Bakugo's head. "Eraser's gonna be playing hooky thanks to all the yakuza chart-toppers who were taken down yesterday."
Bakugo grimaced. "Huh? He injured worse than they said or something?"
"Nah! Apparently they needed his help with a girl they rescued. Don't worry, I'm all over this! Consider me your new bodyguard."
Toshi sighed. "We're taking extra precaution due to the League's activity." He looked distracted for a moment, dark eyes darting off to the side.
I touched his arm. "All Might? You okay?"
"Right. Yeah. Let's go." He scratched the back of his neck, gesturing to the large taxi. "Yesterday was an easy classroom lecture for you, but I hear today's training will be far tougher."
Hiz continued to size with death and put an arm round Bakugo. "Let's get this party started so you can get your licenses already ma brothers."
Somehow Bakugo didn't explode at Hizashi on the way to the training arena, though his eye was twitching a lot by the time we got there. Sho ran his thumb along the back of my hand as we sat together. He was anxious about Endeavour attending, I just hoped that asshole kept his distance. I had little patience, and a whole lot of anger to release.
I gave Sho a kiss on the cheek as he and Bakugo headed inside and downstairs, still needing to change for training and find their fellow trainees. At least they weren't the only ones. Me, Toshi and Hiz headed upstairs.
I pulled my jumper closer. The building was fucking freezing for some reason. We headed for the seating area where we'd be able to watch everything going on from a safe distance. It would be great to see how far Sho and Bakugo had come, not to mention getting to see Gang Orca in action again.
As we ascended the stairs it got warmer. I slowed my pace as a big, broad plume of flame flickered into view. Oh good. A headache stood atop over-muscled legs. Just what I needed–Endeavour in close proximity. I'd hoped he would be sitting on the other side of the arena or something.
Toshi leaned closer to my ear. "Play nice."
"I will, if he will."
"Maybe stop growling then." He snorted before we continued.
Pleasantries were exchanged, whilst Hizashi fled under the pretence of finding us hot beverages. I'd forgive him if he actually found coffee. I gave a curt hello to Endeavour and he did the same, but then he bloody followed us to the seats. Why?!
I sat with Toshi in between me and Endeavour. Likely the best option, or else I'd have ended up in an argument with the man before the lesson below even started. My issues with Endeavour aside, I didn't want to get in the way of Sho's training. The two older heroes talked and I tried to focus on what Gang Orca was saying to his students. I frowned as he used a familiar name. Inasa. I peered and found the big, burly pain in the neck. Oh boy. I braced for the worst, but Sho seemed calm. He stood with his arms folded, that was hardly new, but he also had his head slightly tilted. Maybe it was fine. Maybe the Wind guy from the license exam had cooled his head a bit.
Toshi coughed, spluttered a bit and then as his phone rang, he excused himself. Oh shit. No. Don't leave me here with El Flaming Fucknugget. I can't hold my tongue well when I'm on my own dammit. No Toshi! TOSHI!
He left.
Me and Endeavour sat in silence for about two minutes before he broke it like a child's self-esteem.
"Miss Aizawa."
"Mhm." I dipped my head and closed my eyes. His flames flickered a little louder, but I just waited. He could drum up a conversation if he really wanted, but I wasn't about to prompt him. Sho was training, I was there to support him, not go a couple rounds of verbal sparring with his shithead of a father. I wondered how quickly I could get into an argument with... No, wrong question. How long till I ended up throwing this piece of shit through one of the nearby windows. Or better yet, see how well his head can fit up his flaming arse. Then again, he wouldn't likely be that bendy, due to the massive pole up his–
"Miss Aizawa." He repeated.
Okay, it seemed he was determined.
"Endeavour." I gave a salute without opening my eyes. Again, not a conversation mate. I would not bite until he actually initiate–
"I wish to speak with you."
I bit back the smirk. "I believe that might be what you're doing, albeit in a bit of a weird manner."
He grumbled under his breath. "Do you intend to be so difficult for the entirety of this conversation?"
"Bold to call this a conversation. But I may mellow if you actually get to the point. Unless you're wanting an apology for me having survived my recent holiday to the Yakuza?"
He sighed. "I can't say I wasn't warned."
"Oh?" I peeked.
He was looking down. "I mentioned to my daughter that I planned to speak with you today, and she wished me luck as you'd likely have no time for it. Seems you've made quite the impression despite not meeting her yet."
I grinned, glad to know my reputation spread so effectively. Though, I did hope to meet Fuyumi sooner rather than later. She sounded like a supportive part of Sho's life. Due to my improved sight, I could mainly decipher Endeavour's grumpy expression–though his ridiculous need to be constantly flaming caused blurring.
He leaned slightly closer, plastic chairs creaking under his weight. I stayed still.
"Miss Aizawa, I wished to apologise."
I jolted.
He continued. "Your connection to my son. My objections to it were… Well, perhaps initially they were misguided, too strongly driven by my previous attention towards legacy."
Okay. Surprise aside, I did not have time for translating that shit.
I popped my lips. "You planning on being this evasive this entire conversation?"
He raised a brow.
I rolled my eyes. "Attention towards legacy? Call a spade a spade, if we're being honest here. You mean 'obsession'. You were pissed that your son had made a connection with someone with a barren cupboard. Correct?"
He cleared his throat. "You really are blunt."
"As a rock. Now then, correct?" I folded my arms. "I'm all for talking it out and clearing some air if it makes things easier for Sho, but I ain't about to pussy-foot around the issue for your sake. I've done dick-all wrong, so I have nothing to be delicate about."
"Indeed."
No argument. Interesting.
Endeavour took a long breath. "You are correct, Miss Aizawa."
"I know my fucking Dad's name, call me Alex or stop repeating my name, god dammit."
He clicked his tongue. "Are you this sharp with everyone?"
I snorted.
He sighed. "No. I don't suppose you need to be. Sorry that was foolish."
I stayed quiet. The shithead can learn at least, that much is clear. Then again, even a mangy mutt can eventually learn to not shit on the carpet. It's hardly a huge accomplishment.
He clasped his hands tightly, knuckles going pale. "Very well, I admit my obsessions were misguided before, and I apologise for that. I may not be forgiven, but can I know if the apology is at least accepted or heard?"
"It's heard. I'll get back to you on the accepted part, depending on how well the rest of this conversation goes."
I won't deny it, I trembled like a leaf. Yes, he's an asshole. Yes, his opinion meant about as much as a fart in a wind tunnel; as soon as you registered it, it had already gone by and was forgotten. But he was still Endeavour: big, powerful, and intimidating–not to mention I knew full well he was capable of getting violent with people outside of his Hero work. I hugged myself tighter, refusing to let him know how much he actually unnerved me.
He rumbled. "I appreciate that. It's kind of you."
When I glanced his way he was looking ahead again. What the hell was the point of all this? Did he actually want to clear the air between us because I was with Sho? Or was it some long term ploy? For the time being I'd assume the latter. I had no reason to trust this shit. Sho certainly hadn't said anything, other than his Father didn't assume I was dead when they texted during my captivity. It's a small point in Endeavour's favour. But only small. What was his purpose, here?
He frowned. "Am I correct in thinking you are still partially blind?"
"Why?"
"Curious." He shrugged.
"You're correct. A little, anyway."
"How are you doing with that, and your recovery?"
"Getting there, but what're you heading towards?" I pursed my lips. He was trying, but it still seemed like I was being led down a conversation with only half the information. Where the hell were Toshi and Hiz? Or had they started gossiping about something?
"Your past." Endeavour said, and despite how tense I went initially, having expected a tone of disgust, I realised it wasn't there. No, instead, there's only concern. But it wasn't a concern for me. He didn't know me, why would he care? No. It was concern for Sho. And that's even worse because I couldn't deny anything, I couldn't pretend my past won't get to Sho. It was something I was entirely without defence against.
I swallowed. "What about it?"
"It concerns me. Or rather, it concerns me when it comes to how it might impact my son. I don't expect you to have guarantees young lady, of course not but… As a father I am allowed to be worried, aren't I?"
I'd love to have said 'no, you have no right you asshole, get away from me.' I'd have loved to.
But I couldn't.
"Yes." I croaked, and I closed my eyes against seeing his head snap round. "Of course you're allowed to be concerned. However much that actually matters to Sho or not, I get it. And yeah, I can't give you any kind of guarantee. Not one. I'm… I'm still trying to get away from it myself, but so far I've not exactly been successful."
"Indeed. And… Well he's already been injured due to it."
Toga wasn't really from my past, but I couldn't claim her to be detached from it either.
I had felt the slight scar on Sho's shoulder, the line in his perfect skin that signified where that bitch had sliced into him, in the image of me. For the time being, my lack of hair probably helped. I don't look how she did. There's a distance there. But what about when my hair grew back? Would he flinch? Would he recoil? There's no telling how that trauma might hurt him later. I'd be careful of course, but no doubt he will try to suppress it initially.
"Do not misunderstand me, please." Endeavour muttered. "I realise this will be coming across as my usual attempts to have you separated. But it isn't."
"Uhuh…" I am not convinced. "Go ahead, enlighten me."
"It's simply me, as a father, voicing my concerns and wondering if you've considered them yourself. Though I also feel like I may already have that answer."
I grit my teeth. "I do everything I can to keep him away from my–"
"You're not on trial here." He sighed. "I fully appreciate the hypocrisy here. I mention your past hurting him when it's the past I created that hurt him the most. It's ironic, I think. I've never been great with actually identifying irony."
I closed my mouth. "So what do you want from me?"
"In all honesty, I'm not sure. Perhaps simply to open a dialogue."
I couldn't help the smirk. "How… Diplomatic of you. Suggestion from a therapist by any chance?"
His clearing of the throat confirms how hard I hit the nail on the head. Sho had said his father had been more mellow recently. Perhaps the idiot had a wake up call of some kind, maybe an epiphany of how much of a bastard he was. It's a step in the right direction, I'll give him that.
"I'm glad to know you're this conscientious and pragmatic." He pursed his lips. "If a little difficult as well."
"Can't go making it too easy, you're still a shit."
He grumbled. "Not one for manners much are you…" He then huffed. "Or is it that you save the manners for those that deserve them?"
"Ah, you have met my Dad then, good to know."
Am I bantering with Endeavour? No. I did literally just call him a shit. I can give the guy an inch without being his best pal all of a sudden.
I nodded towards the training area. "So you here to lecture Sho? Or what?"
"Simply to observe. It's become very clear to me recently that I do not know him at all."
I lounged and put my feet on the seat in front of me. "He's a pretty great guy, I can see why you'd want to. Glad to hear you not talking about his future like it's your own though."
Sho had come so far since I met him. I dunno how much of that was due to me, or has been hindered by me, or whatever, but I knew it had little to do with this guy sat next to me. Endeavour was a thorn in Sho's side, something to overcome. Sho's future was just that, Sho's future. Not Endeavours. And not mine either. So I guess whilst we're being honest…
I cleared my throat. "And… I guess just to cover all bases, in case it wasn't obvious…" I folded my arms again and glared ahead. "If I ever felt being with me was genuinely endangering Sho, I'd end it. His future is possible with or without me."
Endeavour was quiet for a moment before he drew a long breath. "I'm unsure whether to be impressed or a little worried at how mature you seem."
"I ain't going grey at least." I patted my wig-bearing head. "Thanks for the talk, despite how much I still disapprove of your shitty behaviour. It shows room for something at least."
"I take that in high regard, Alex. Thank you."
I shrugged. "Just don't make me regret it."
"I saw the footage of your power, so I say this without an ounce of sarcasm, I wouldn't dare."
I repressed the want to grin–it was nice to know I could be a little intimidating too. The kids were having a blast down in the training area though, that's for sure. It was safe to say they might be teaching the boys more than the other way around. Though I do hope the teachers have realised that Bakugo will almost certainly be willing to fling a child out a window. I know I would, if a little shit got too annoying, and compared to Bakugo my temper was like marshmallow.
Endeavour shifted his weight. "Can I ask you something?" He sounded small, which was weird.
I shrugged. "You can ask, I can always not answer."
"Fair enough." He adjusted his weight yet again, like Sho did before saying something he's unsure of. They likely share that, not speaking until sure of something. Not a terrible likeness to have. "I wondered if you would tell me your full opinion of me."
My brows shot up. "My full opinion?"
"Indeed. Though I doubt I need to say as much to you, I do not wish for you to soften the blow either. I wish for honesty."
"And you won't pout?"
"Only in private, if then."
"All right. You asked..."
I sent a quick pulse out behind me, but there's no one there, no Toshi to tell me off.
I cleared my throat. "As a Hero you've plenty to teach, you've worked hard to get where you are. You save lives, and you get shit done. I can respect someone trying to deal with their past, sure. But beyond that? Thus far, despite this blip of a decent conversation, you're still a dick. You're overbearing and controlling, you bullied all your children and drove your wife into the hospital. She's lovely. She's wonderful. And you broke that. You broke a lot. Too much. Go ahead and make amends, sure. Fix bridges, absolutely. But at the end of the day you have to also accept what you said before…"
"Which part?" He breathes.
"Accept that whilst the apologies and attempts to amend things might be seen, and noticed, they do not have to be accepted. They don't owe you that. The ones you hurt don't owe you shit. Accept that and you'll likely be on the right path. Or at least in the right neighbourhood. It's up to them really, they decide where the line is, no one else. Especially not you, the abuser."
He was quiet. Very quiet. I fully expected blazing heat to erupt and a bellowing voice to loom over me, chastising my sharp tongue and demanding I leave the building and his son. I even sealed a small shield into place. But nothing happened. He tooks a couple long breaths, and that was it. It had occurred to me to ask about Dabi, but until I actually had a reason to believe it as anything beyond Dabi being a little nutty these days, I see little point.
Eventually, I couldn't take the quiet. "Did I break you, or what?"
"No. You've… Thank you. It is… It is good to know where I stand in your eyes."
"And my eyes, as useless as they are for the time being, matter to you why?" I snorted. "I find it hard to believe you put that much stock into the opinion of your son's girlfriend of a few months."
"Perhaps it is odd, but I do put a lot of stock into it, yes. For many reasons."
I rolled my eyes and looked his way. "You got me curious now…"
"Whilst your past worries me, the fact you have overcome it shows a strength of character, that's the kind of person one needs when heading into the unknown."
I shook my head. "Pick a lane. You just said my past was a worry."
"In Kamino you showed great resolve, perhaps resolve beyond many pro heroes. So really, I mean the revelations, and the recoveries."
I hated when old people got metaphorical.
I rubbed my temples. "Speak plainly before my brain explodes."
"Well… To be blunt, as you wish, the fact that you've taken on the news about your parents and kept going. When I heard it myself I admit I was wary, but then mainly wondering how you would take it as a newfound Hero. Quite the blow I'd imagine, but you're–"
"What about my parents?" I frowned and sat up, turning to him properly, a sinking feeling in my gut. "That story All for One told in Tartarus? How do you know about that?"
Silence.
His flames dulled. Like a dog being cornered, putting its tail between its legs.
I leaned forward. "Spit it out."
He pursed his lips. "The news that was reported a few days before you were found. I… Miss Aizawa I thought your father would have informed you by now. I thought–"
"Informed me of what?" I gripped my seat to avoid my power fluctuating. What the hell was he talking about? Had they found something whilst I was gone? He looked away. I swallowed hard. "Please."
He sighed. "I genuinely thought you knew."
"I heard you. I believe you. Now, please just fucking speak."
"All right… The Police confirmed his story. That you were involved in their deaths."
My body went numb. The words cracked over my head like an egg, dribbling down my face, cooling me as it trickled.
Endeavour was still talking, still trying to apologise for not knowing I didn't know, but I couldn't listen over the thunder in my ears. My heart tried to crawl out of my mouth and my head was going to explode. They confirmed All for One's story. When? I guess that didn't matter. I did it. I killed them. I'm a murderer. Dad had already known this and decided not to tell me. He had hidden it from me. Was it actually based in fear? He worried how I'd react? That I'd lose control?
No.
No, that's just my doubts.
It had been barely a few days. He likely wanted me to settle more, to be able to see even. Dad just didn't want to spring it on me. It made sense. And yet doubt gnaws at my insides.
No.
Dad didn't think badly of me. He knew me. Like he said, back when the story was first told, in that elevator he told me it didn't change who I am. That alley. Those deaths. I can't be held responsible. Can I?
Endeavour placed a hand on my shoulder, barely there. "Should I call for your teachers? I didn't intend to–"
"You've done nothing wrong. That or you're a decent liar." I put a hand over my mouth and sat back, his hand falling away as I counted to ten. "No need to call for them, and no need to say a damn thing to them about this either."
"If you insist."
"I do. I… I'll talk to my Dad later. I… Fuck… My head." Pain blossomed behind my eyes, not a vision induced pain, just one born from sheer confusion. And perhaps a dash of panic.
"Water?" Endeavor offered, already rising from his seat.
I nodded. "Please."
I needed to know why Dad hadn't said anything though. I took out my phone and texted him
Me: {we need to tlk about my parents}
Yes it's maybe a little blunt, and no it wouldn't be the best way to open the discussion. But I'm confused, I'm lost and yeah… I guess I'm a bit angry.
I killed my parents.
Fuck… What does that mean for my future?
As we got off the bus, Toshi and Hiz headed their separate ways, having plenty of things to get back to as teachers. I headed towards the front door with Bakugo and Sho, my feet dragging. I needed to talk to them before I spoke to my Dad. Once seeing him I knew I'd be emotional. Not only because he hid this from me, but no doubt he'd be feeling guilty, and then I'd feel guilty, and my head would explode. So messy. So I needed to speak to these two first. It might help. Might. Dad hadn't even responded to my text yet, he likely hadn't had time to check it whilst working with the police.
"Alex?" Sho paused and looked back.
Bakugo did the same when he heard. "C'mon I'm fuckin' starving, I'll cook something, okay?"
I opened my mouth but the words got caught, making me cough and splutter. They both stepped closer, looking me over, like they expected to find something broken, a new fracture in the porcelain doll. I couldn't blame them.
"I need to…" I got my feet moving at least. "I need to tell you guys something. Can we go upstairs? You c-can cook in my Dad's apartment, Bakugo."
"Sure. I don't care where I cook." He shrugged and raised a brow. "You needin' carried or something? Look like you're going to fall over."
"Sorry, I just need to figure out how to say it." I half laughed, half coughed again, heading inside with them and making for the stairs. It was a habit by then; I didn't need to do it for my back anymore, the pains hadn't appeared since I was taken by Overhaul, but I hardly want to be in a metal box at that moment. How should I say it? How to admit to the fact I had people's blood on my hands, and not just random people either, my own parents. Both Bakugo and Sho would hear me out, I knew that, but would it change things?
Only one way to find out.
Before we got into the taxi, Endeavour spoke of becoming someone Sho can be proud of. That struck a chord with me. He didn't talk about forgiveness per say, maybe he understood what I said when we talked. That forgiveness isn't really something he could ask for. But now I have to wonder. Can Sho be proud of me? Can he still stand side by side with someone so tainted? I concentrated on the steps, mind rattling as we climbed. Bakugo and Sho disappeared momentarily to drop off their things, and I slowly continued, bottom lip soon stinging from all the biting.
I left the door open and went straight to the balcony. The chilled air of the late afternoon is comforting, whistling down into my lungs, blowing away the cobwebs of the day's realisations. The mildness from last night was nowhere to be seen, nor was the visage of Dabi. Alone on the balcony, hands clamped against the cold metal railing, doing my best to piece together how to say the words. I think I just needed to get it out. Into the open.
Bakugo arrived first, coming onto the balcony to lean against the balcony railing. "I grabbed stuff for some simple ramen, sound good?"
I nodded. "Great. Yeah."
"You and Endeavour had a talk, huh?" He folded his arms. "He got you rattled about something? Is that what this is? Would've been easier to kick his ass if you'd said back at the training arena."
It was hard to suppress a smile around Bakugo sometimes. "No, he… Well it's to do with what he said yeah, but it's not his doing. Just… I want no sugarcoating."
"Like I'd dare." He snorted. "You'd throw me off the damn balcony."
"Glad that's still clear." I nudged him and he simpered. "I heard you today by the way."
"Huh?"
"With that kid, the leader of the class? Sounded like some serious growth going on there."
Bakugo spoke to that kid like he was speaking to his old self. Talk of not looking down on people, of it making you weak yourself. Bakugo was not the same kid I had thrown through double doors after class, the one sneering at everyone else. No. He was so much more than that now.
He picked at his immaculate nails. "Yeah well… He was a little shit."
"Hopefully he can follow in someone else's footsteps and break free of that." I smiled, glad to see a small blush appear instead of a scowl. "You did great, Bakugo, that's all I'm saying."
"Mm."
Sho came into the apartment a second later, joining us on the balcony. "Sorry, my sister texted me. I had to reassure her that nothing went into meltdown."
Bakugo cracked his neck. "So c'mon Alex, spill. What's this about?"
"I uh…" I started to pace, Sho went to the railing to stand beside Bakugo. I wrung my hands together. "I have to tell you guys something. Because I need to say it to someone and I only really trust you guys to both hear me out, not sugarcoat shit and… well not to secretly hate me without saying so."
They looked at each other.
Even with my few patches of blurred vision, I know they're confused. Of course they are. I sounded insane.
I cleared my throat. "Of course if you do hate me, that's valid. Of course. Just tell me and I'll go. I'll stay away. Duh. But on the off-chance you don't I just–"
"Alex." Sho stepped forward. "Breathe."
I stopped and nodded, knees tempted to buckle, but I held them firm. I could do this. I could say it and make it real. Admit it. Deep breaths. I wanted to go stand beside Sho and hide in the crook of his neck, to listen to the two of them bicker and banter and just drift off, forgetting anything had changed. Or maybe nothing had changed. Why did this have to mean anything more than anything else? Fuck. Get it out. It was there, staining my thoughts like wine spreading over a table cloth. Shit. It's really hitting me now–All for One spoke the truth.
"So…" Sho smiled softly. "You ready to talk about it?"
Bakugo tilted his head. "Slower though, huh?"
"Right." I whispered. "Sorry."
"S'fine, but don't go all Deku on us and ramble. Big breath and say it."
"He told the truth." I croaked.
They frowned.
Sho stepped closer. "He, who?"
"Truth about what?" Bakugo seconded.
"I...They found… The…" I grit my teeth. "Fuck!"
I tried to pull myself together. Bad choice of words. Pull. Rip. Tear. Wrench. Like spines being torn from two backs walking away from me. My hands bloodied and shaking. I gulped and try not to let the churning of my stomach take over.
I closed my eyes. "The story was t-true. That I… Th-That… That I killed my parents."
I swallowed hard. The darkness is right there, wanting me to panic, to wonder how Sho can stand to touch me. I'm a monster. I'm awful. I might as well have been a villain. But I shook my head. I couldn't go there. Not now. Stop it, brain. I couldn't give in to the darkness like that. It's what they wanted, it's why All for One planted that seed. That line of enquiry. The self loathing churning in my chest was what he wanted, I was giving him his goal. No. I couldn't let them win.
They stepped closer.
Bakugo nudged my arm. "And how'd you find this out? You get a call from your Dad? Doesn't seem like the kinda shit he'd say on the phone."
"E-Endeavour."
They both went quiet and Sho's hand clenched instead of threading our fingers together.
"That damn…" He cleared his throat. "You should talk to Mr Aizawa before believing it. My Father could just be messing with you."
"No I… I don't think so. He genuinely thought I already knew when he mentioned it. He…" I snorted. "He mentioned it when paying me a compliment, which is technically made moot by me not knowing, to an extent."
Sho clicked his tongue. "You understanding this, Bakugo?"
"Nah, this isn't a thing I get and you don't, I'm just as lost."
"Right…"
I opened my eyes and stared at our shoes. "This… This is real. I killed them with my fucking power, they're dead because I was a frightened little kid."
"Even if it is true, that doesn't make you responsible." Sho placed his hand on my shoulder.
Bakugo's boots shuffled slightly. "Fuckin' right. You can't let this get in your wa–"
"I can hardly become a hero with this in my background." I laughed coldly, wondering how the conversation might have gone last night with Dabi had I known about this then. What would he have had to say about it? Well done? Come here and let's celebrate? He wouldn't be disgusted, would he? No. He'd probably celebrate. Dammit.
Fuck.
This is so messed up.
I sighed. "Who would be able to depend on someone like that?" My nails bit into my palms.
My future shrunk to that tiny balcony, everything beyond an unknown soup of questions. If I became a pro, the villains would simply seek to expose the story eventually. It would hang over my head like a damn blade waiting to drop.
Sho squeezed my arm. "Alex you can't give up. That's just–Your phone's ringing."
I couldn't move.
Bakugo moved away. "I'll get it." He rushed off and I heard him pick it up. It must be Dad. Anyone else and Bakugo would have brought it through, but he knows Dad is gonna be one of the few people that can help right now. As determined as my friend is, he's out of his depth. So is Sho. I know I was.
Bakugo rumbled. "Your room, yeah. Fucking obviously. Get here quick." He hung up and returned to the balcony. "Your Dad's on his way, he went to your room but obviously didn't find you. You wanna move inside?"
I turned on shaky legs. "I should… I should wash my face or something. Get… Get a grip before he gets here."
Bakugo looked to Sho, scratching the back of his head as he handed me my phone. "Sure… Should we uh… Make tea or some shit? Not exactly the time for cooking." Bakugo attempting to play house would be funny any other time.
"Good idea. The kettle, cups and tea bags are all just there." I gestured and headed through the living room, going into the small bathroom by the front door. They'll figure it out.
I went to the sink and braced against the cold porcelain, counting to ten as I breathed. The simple fact was, I wanted to return to knowing nothing, not even a rumour. Like when I sat next to that window in school, the evening I told Sho about the fact I could pretend anything I liked about my parents. I wanted to go back to that girl. The one that dreamed of parents in a far off land, fighting some kind of super secret war with their amazing mind powers. Or them having bravely defended me against villains until finally they had been forced to give up their lives, a blaze of glory for their precious daughter. It turned to ash. The colour, the laughter, the hope. It became nothing. Left to crumble in a back alley.
Fuck.
Dad.
Did you just not tell me so I'd be able to handle it better once settled? Or… Or did it turn your stomach? Did it make you afraid to tell me, in case I did the same to you? Dad… Dad please… Please don't give up on me.
SHOUTA POV
Coming out of the final police briefing of the day, Shouta got into a taxi and made for the campus. His head pounded and his mouth was dry from too much crappy cop coffee. He turned his phone on and massaged his temples. He had to find out how the training had gone, and get the sticky repeats of the Yakuza assault out of his head. No doubt Alex would have news about the training, her own commentary on how it had gone. Or how her confrontation with Endeavour had gone. Oh boy. He would need some painkillers if he had a fallout to deal with. Then again, she would have likely flattened Endeavour no problem.
His phone buzzed in his lap.
Not all that surprising. He tended to turn it back on to a few messages from the students, or other teachers. He scraped his hair back and unlocked the screen. A message from Alex, and one from Endeavour. Very close to one another in timing. Shouta sat up and opened her message first, fully expecting a wall of text ranting about the blazing inferno she had dismantled.
Instead, he got seven words.
Instead, he felt his heart lodge in his throat.
Weirdo: {We need to tlk about my parents}
He tapped on the message from Endeavour.
Number 2: {Aizawa, I can only apologise for what has just occurred. It would seem I misjudged something and assumed wrongly that you would have informed your daughter already about the recent discovery about..}
Shouta stopped reading. He set the phone back into his pocket for a second and leaned forward, head in hands, elbows on knees. He didn't want the conversation to go this way, he wanted time to prepare her, to sit her down and reassure her that it changed nothing. He tugged on his hair. At least he now had a little more information, the police had handed him more files to look over only that day. But it hardly helped.
Shouta muttered to himself. "That bastard couldn't wait. I asked him to withhold… Fuck." He tugged harder on his hair. She would be thinking the worst; assuming Shouta blamed her, that he thought she did it willingly. Or something. Her head always warped things. He should have just said it, regardless of her blindness.
"Fuck. She must be so confused." He tapped the taxi divider. "Can you speed up?"
"Sure thing."
It would be barely another five minutes, but still his heart thundered against his rib cage. He was tempted to call her, to try and reach her as soon as possible, but talking on the phone after that kind of reveal wouldn't be good. Due to the blindness she was still staying with him, but would she be in the apartment? It didn't seem likely. No. Surely she'd feel trapped there. No, she'd have gone to her own room maybe, or somewhere with Todoroki?
As soon as the taxi stopped, the money was handed over and Shouta bolted for the dorm buildings, bursting inside and bounding up the stairs. A faint 'no running!' followed from the kitchen, likely from Iida before the boy realised who he was scolding.
Shouta knocked on Alex's door before trying to head inside. But it was locked. Why would she lock it after asking to speak with him? She wouldn't. He listened at the door and knocked again.
"Alex? Alex, are you in there?"
No response. He phoned her, tapping his foot. If she wasn't there she'd might have wandered off, lost in her thoughts. Or she went to Todoroki.
The phone clicked.
Shouta gasped. "Alex listen, I–"
"Not her." Bakugo drawled with a hard edge to his voice, an anger.
Shouta took a half second to get over the surprise. "Is Alex with you? Where are you?"
"Your room, yeah."
"Is she with you?"
"Fucking obviously. Get here quick."
Shouta hung up and put the phone back in his pocket. She was upstairs, presumably with Bakugo and Todoroki, being looked after. Not alone. Not thinking herself into corners–he stopped him. That was likely too optimistic. Shouta took a moment to gather himself. Just talk to her. She contacted him, she had even gone back to his apartment to hear things out. She wasn't running away, that counted as progress. So he couldn't run away instead.
He took a long breath and then climbed the stairs slowly. His own door suddenly seemed like that of a fortress. He paused for a mere moment, before clasping the handle, and heading inside.
The two boys were stood in the kitchen, four mugs on the counter with tea brewing. Shouta closed the door. Her phone sat on the table. She didn't seem to be on the balcony.
He cleared his throat. "Where's–"
"Bathroom. Probably trying not to vomit." Todoroki said, face as unemotional as usual except that slight frown which might as well have been a grimaced snarl. Bakugo didn't look impressed either, but especially so.
"I see. And… You two know..?"
"We do." Todoroki nodded.
Shouta cleared his throat, pulse still throbbing. "I'm sorry boys, you shouldn't have had to deal with this. I didn't intend for her to find out like th–"
"How long have you known, sir?" Todoroki snapped, looking like he quickly regretted it, but he held firm. Bakugo raised a brow and tilted his head, seconding the question without a word.
Shouta swallowed the want to refute their judgement. They had every right to be annoyed. "I got a call a few days before we went to save her and Eri."
"You should have told her sir, my father's gone and blurted it out. Completely blind-sided her." Todoroki didn't quite manage to hide his shame at that fact, not that Shouta blamed him for a second. Alex wouldn't either.
"You're right. It was cowardly of me to avoid it, and now you've had to help clean up the mess."
"We fuckin' know that." Bakugo rolled his eyes.
"I apologise." Shouta kept his eyes on the counter. He could lie to himself and think that it was a sign of submission, but really he couldn't stand to see the disgust in one of his students' faces for any longer. He had failed in many ways.
The door to the bathroom opened, and they all watched as she emerged. Calm. Serene. Not a tear in sight, or a tremble to be found. Was that genuine calm, or the coldness back with a vengeance?
Shouta stepped towards her. "Alex you–"
"Shush." She said, without a snap or a snarl, just a raise of her hand and a small lift of her brows. She pointed to the stools at the breakfast bar.
He sat.
She continued to approach, took up one of the mugs of tea and sipped. They all watched. She set the cup down, smiled at her friends ever-so-softly, and then set her dark eyes onto Shouta. The smile faded. He felt like the tiniest man on the planet.
She licked her lips, nearly hiding the wobble. "You fucked up."
"Agreed." Shouta nodded. "So I'll start with an apology."
"Good plan." She leaned on the counter, looking weary, but at least like she was listening.
Shouta would have preferred to do it without an audience, but he had no right to ask for anything. The boys were there for Alex. So they would stay.
"I was an idiot, I withheld because I wanted to figure out how to do it without scaring you… Obviously I failed. I'm sorry you found out from Endeavour of all people. But I just wanted you to have had time to recover a bit more."
She was quiet, still watching him. Her eyes closed for a moment and she breathed deep through her nose. He wished he could tell what was going on in her mind, to peek into how she was digesting all of this, but he would wait. There had to be trust. So he would trust her to be open.
She opened her eyes and searched his face uncertainly. Her lips pursed against another wobble before she cleared her throat and they stilled. "So, you didn't hide the information because you were disgusted?"
They all leaned in. Shouta hated to think she had even considered that, but she had at least admitted it aloud, and asked him, instead of assuming. Regardless of how horrid her head was for even putting the idea into place, she had made progress. She spoke it freely.
He shook his head. "No."
"And you don't distrust me now that you know–"
"I trust you Alex, I know you. I said it when that bastard teased you with this information, that it wouldn't matter if it were true. It changes nothing." He wanted to reach for her, pull her into a hug and hold tight till her doubts fell away. But he couldn't. She was composed, strong, she didn't need him to hug her in that moment, she needed him to be honest.
She set her tea down. "Except it does change things. It changes a lot of things."
He flinched. Had he finally made her give up on him?
Empty days. Empty apartment. No word for weeks on end.
Alex drew a shaken breath. "I can't be a pro."
He jolted. They all did. "What? Why not?"
She bared her teeth for a second, sucking in a sharp breath. "Come the fuck on, don't be stupid. If the media ever got hold of this, I'd be torn apart. Who wants a hero that killed her own parents? And I can't hide from it. The villains know. They'll just hold it over me the whole time."
The boys both looked lost on what to say.
In all honesty, Shouta was a little as well. At least the focus of her pain seemed to be the uncertainty of the future, rather than self-loathing, but he hated to think she had already built herself a cage from this revelation. That she'd already looked at her plans and considered them ruined.
Shouta shook his head. "Then we don't let them use it."
She closed her eyes. "What?"
"Take it out into the open yourself. Be a symbol for those with quirks too strong, for parents panicking over powerful children. It's not something you're alone in."
She raised a brow, lips pursed, eyes going slightly pinked. He guessed she wasn't even letting herself dare to hope.
Shouta kept going. "Listen, Hizashi's mother is deaf in one ear due to his cries as a baby. The whole room's ears were bleeding. This stuff is more common than you think."
"That's not the same."
"But it is. It's an ongoing problem. Look, I waited too long, I get that. But I've also been looking into a plan as well. You could seriously help these kids, Alex. The ones with powers too powerful to–"
"This isn't the same." She shook her head, hands clenching, walls going up.
"It is. And beyond that, today I learned–"
"I TORE THEIR SPINES OUT!" She yelled, hands slamming onto the countertop, the air itself seeming heavier as her power fluctuated. Silence reigned for a moment, a tear escaping before she dragged composure back into place and clasped her hands tightly. "This isn't just a simple mistake or a case of 'whoops'. I brutally killed them."
Todoroki went over to her and put his arm around her. "Let's hear the full information, first."
She hung her head and shuddered. "R-Right. Sorry."
Shouta shook his head. "That's the last word you should be saying right now."
Bakugo huffed. "Agreed."
Shouta removed his capture weapon and laid it on the table. "The police confirmed that yes, your power is likely what caused their deaths, and yes the deaths were rather bloody. But I asked them to keep digging, and that's cleared a lot more up since. I only learned this today." He added when further anger entered their young eyes. He held up his hands. "The police work can be slow, remember? I literally just got this information."
Alex sniffed. "I don't see what extra information could–"
"They sold you." He said, not intending to blurt it out, but seeing no reason to be delicate either. The pair of rats called Alex's 'parents', had been found to be nothing but opportunistic crooks. The three kids looked at him in open confusion. The two boys looked more concerned than anything, but Alex just looked bamboozled.
Shouta wished he had something stronger than tea. "Turns out All for One was pretty active in his search for someone to be his predecessor, even going so far as to seeking out anyone and everyone willing to breed in order to create a powerful child."
"So he conned my parents into–"
Shouta held up a hand. "They weren't conned into a thing, Alex. She had pretty strong telekinesis but had screwed her control of it due to drugs and misuse, and he had endurance. I can only imagine that appealed to All for One for training purposes."
Alex sipped her tea. "How can you possibly know that they were willing?"
Shouta sighed. "Because there's a police report when your Aunt tried to have your mother sectioned. But there was no cause found when they interviewed your mother, she very clearly told the police to stay out of it."
Alex frowned. "Aunt?"
"Apparently so." He sipped his tea and shrugged. "But there's not much information on her either. Seems she was about as keen on leaving tracks as they were."
"Was there… A description?" She frowned at the countertop. Todoroki's hand moved up and down her arm, though he looked as lost as Shouta about the question.
"Uhm… no, why?"
She shook her head, nearly raising her hand to it for a moment, as if she had a headache. "Just… Just something that asshole reporter said when he was snooping around. About my white hair streaks. Something about someone in my family maybe having had white hair."
Todoroki blinked. "So he might know more?"
"Maybe." She clicked her tongue. "The shithead was hardly forthcoming though."
"I'll see if I can make contact." Shouta made a note on his phone. "But if he has held out–"
"He's getting a fucking talking to." She half laughed, slumping onto her elbows against the counter. She looked so tired. "So… Them being assholes and selling me is one thing, sure, but why does it matter? Them being assholes doesn't negate the fact I murdered them."
"Unless you didn't."
Alex frowned and her eyes searched his.
Bakugo leaned on the counter. "What, you think he did that Quirk activation thing on her?"
Shouta nodded, glad that Bakugo had been on the same lines at least. No doubt Alex couldn't see it due to being deep in a guilt pit. She looked to Bakugo and then down at her tea.
She shook her head. "That's just us grasping at straws to avoid–"
"There were traces of someone else's blood found at the scene, related to the two victims." Shouta stepped closer, and despite how she watched him, she didn't lean away. He continued. "It could have been a nosebleed from the exertion, or, it could be from where his black tendrils pierced your back. When he forced you to tie up his loose ends."
"So… So I might not have done it anyway?"
"We'll likely never know for sure. But beyond that, if you did it directly or not, it's irrelevant."
"Irrelevant?"
"You were a toddler, you had no concept of what was happening, only that your parents were leaving you behind, and you wanted them to stay. A kid that age doesn't understand death, let alone killing." He reached to put a hand on her shoulder, but she stepped into his embrace instead. Holding tight. He smiled and put his arm around her. "I'm sorry for how you found out, Alex. but this doesn't have to be the end of your career."
Shivering, trying not to cry, holding on tighter than ever, she sniffed. "I still don't understand how."
"Bring it out into the open yourself."
She blinked. "What?"
"If it would ruin you outright, the League would have released the information already. They want you to fear this, they want you to see it as a make or break situation. Take control and hold a press conference. The press respects you now, you've dealt with them firmly but fairly before. That'll help in a lot of ways."
She didn't look sure at all, in fact she looked very confused. She put her head against his chest and sighed. "So… When All for One said they thought it might be a serial killer, he was lying, right?"
"Absolutely. The basis of his claim might have been true, but he only laid on those extra bits to make you afraid. They quickly deduced that it was a kidnapping gone wrong."
Her lips wobbled. "I'm scared, Dad."
"I know. But we'll figure this out. All Might has already said he'll happily go into a press conference with you, to show his support."
She blinked. "But he's avoided the media as much as possible since everyone found out about his real form."
Shouta smiled softly and pushed her wig out of her eyes. "He wants to help however he can. He fought All For One, he's still seen as a pillar of our society regardless of what the nay-sayers want us to think. If he can help, he wants to."
She nodded and leaned against him, his arm moving round her to hold tight.
Todoroki set his tea down. "So a press conference… Can we help?"
Shouta smirked. "Perhaps behind the scenes, not sure you being on camera would do much good other than create more confusion. Thank you though," he nodded to Bakugo as well. "Both of you."
"You're welcome, though I don't feel we need thanked." Todoroki's eyes drifted back to Alex, containing such warmth.
Bakugo snorted. "Exactly. But yeah, whatever, you're welcome."
Shouta looked down at his daughter and put a hand on her head. "So… Are we good? Or getting there?"
She nodded.
"All right then. Anyone else, hungry?"
Alex shook her head. "I'm so not hungr–"
"Oi." Bakugo rolled his eyes. "You're fuckin' eating. I'll cook the ramen now. Sit your asses down."
Shouta wasn't sure where the line between parent and teacher should be drawn with the two boys, but for the time being, he would let it blur. They had a weird situation, but then again, their lives were rather weird. He moved aside to let Bakugo tear around, a blur of cooking productivity, but Alex still hadn't let go.
He bent closer to her as Todoroki cleared the mugs, getting told off by Bakugo for soon being in the way. Shouta chuckled. "How about you tell me how you handed Endeavour's ass to him today?"
It took a moment, but soon a small bout of laughter rippled through her.
She looked up, eyes pink, lips chapped from being bitten, and wig slightly askew. Beautiful.
She grinned. "Oh boy… You're gonna love it."
"No doubt." He winked and whispered. "Love you, weirdo."
"Love you too, old man."
So there we have it! Well done for getting through that lot haha, I seriously didn't realise it had gotten so long until I was pasting from my document... ^-^ ya girl can ramble, I guess! Hope you all enjoyed, thanks so much for reading, following, faving and of course reviewing! Shoutouts below. Love seeing folks reactions, theories, all that jazz! Anyway, see you guys next time, in 2 weeks, 12th of Feb!
SHOUTOUTS:
Zikashigaku: I hope you liked the Endeavour moment! Sorry i skipped most of the kid content, I'm afraid as an episode, or a couple, they kiiinda annoyed me lol and I mainly saw it as a good opportunity to explore the ongoing arc with her and Endeavour. Hope you still enjoyed!
And yes, I always want character development, even if it takes a long time. And in my mind, with someone as stubborn as Alex (and Shouta tbh) it has to take a long time. Or else... well they wouldn't be that stubborn haha. So yeah, these sections have been really fun to show the development and the progress they've made in their relationship and their reactions to things.
Yeah I loved writing the section with Toshi, I really wanted them to have a proper conversation about things, because really, this is an area her friends would be majorly out of their depth. And yeah the proper Eri reunion is something I am majorly looking forward to everyone seeing haha. And iiiinteresting notes on Dabi. I am still just getting the volumes as they're released, so not doubt I'm actually still behind you, but it'll be intriguing to see where it goes. I am super glad I got the character right though! In my head I just think "it's my version, as long as i'm consistent, that's the main thing". But its a bonus to actually happen upon a canon aspect as well! Victim mentality is going to become a biiiig part of the next arc tbh, because Ooooft Alex has no time for it. Stay tuned I guess haha.
As ever, thank you SOOO much for continuing to chip in and say hi, I am so so grateful to have readers such as yourself. I think this site has gotten real quiet over the past few years, which is a shame. But ultimately I'm still writing this for me, but its still fucking awesome to have folks like you who are clearly so invested and kind. Seriously, you're great! Thanks again, and see you in a couple weeks! ^-^
