It had been a month or so since Zelena had brought Luna home. She'd helped Alice a lot and Alice had started to trust the dog, even going as far as to be the one to walk her. Only ever a few steps away from the house and she only did it if Zelena said it was okay but it was a good way to get Alice to go outside almost alone. Her wrist had healed and Alice was happy not to have any sort of physical restraint again. And Zelena was glad not to have to watch Alice struggle with even more task than usual. Trying to help her clean had only lead to her being even more frightend so Zelena had backed off and tried to let Alice know that she'd help her if she wanted it.

Alice was outside, sitting in her favorite patch of grass watching the flowers. Luna kept running over to her and trying to get her to chase her, to no avail. Luna dragging the cloth leash alongside her through the mud.

Alice was ready to go inside and called Luna over to her. Luna bounded over and picked up her leash, dropping it in Alice's lap. Robin had taught her this when Alice had made it clear she wouldn't know when to pick it up if not told somehow. It'd taken a little while but Luna had learned how to help Alice and Alice had accepted her as a friend. And didn't mind asking for her help.

"CanIgoinside?" Luna nodded and Alice grabbed her leash and walked inside with her. She'd taken a few days to learn how to use the leash but had been shown where to put it. Alice unhooked it and hung the muddy cloth rope on its hook. "Canigotmyroom?" Luna nodded and followed Alice to the corner of the living room where they both adjusted themselves into comfortable positions. Alice pet Luna for a minute and waited. She didn't know what she wanted to do now.

Zelena saw Alice and Luna come in but didn't say anything. The second Zelena made her presence known Alice would assume she had to ask her to do what she wanted and Zelena had been trying to avoid that. She wanted Alice to feel like she was allowed to make her own choices.

Zelena saw the cloth leash covered in mud and decided Luna could use a better leash. Zelena would pick one out while she was gone. Zelena went over to the corner and got down to Alice's level.

"I'm going out. Need anything before I go?" Alice shook her head. If she needed anything while Zelena was gone she could ask Luna, couldn't she? "Okay, just ask Luna if you do. Alright?"

Alice nodded.

Zelena left.

Zelena stared at the various leash options. The cloth one had degraded and succumbed to the elements far too quickly. And Luna dragged the leash around. Nothing with anything sharp attached since Luna put it in her mouth and Alice tended to just grab whatever part of the leash happened to be the closest to her, not neccesarily the handle.

Zelena picked a smooth leather leash and headed home. She took the cloth leash off it's hook and replaced it with the new better one and didn't think anything of it. She'd show it to Alice when she had a chance.

Alice was sitting at the table drawing when Zelena asked if she wanted to walk Luna with her. Alice agreed and followed Zelena, carefully timing her strides so she wasn't too close to Zelena.

Alice glanced at the hook and saw the leash wasn't there any more. In it's place something that scared her. A long leather strap. Alice stared at it and hoped it wasn't going to be needed. She hadn't done anything, had she? Alice shook a little, slowly losing herself in a memory of her childhood. A time when she was young and wanted mother to run around the tower with her. A time before she'd known what the consequences of that would be.


She'd tried to get mother to run with her but had bumped into her and caused her to drop something. It certainly wasn't the first time mother had hit her but this time she looked angrier than she normally did.

"Sorry."

"As you should be. I've told you not to run. Look what you did. Clean it up. I'll be right back." Alice had been suprised mother hadn't hit her for that. She did as she was told, relieved that mother wasn't going to hurt her for once. And then she came back holding a long piece of leather.

"Okay, you finished cleaning." Mother had reached down and forced Alice to stand up. There was some yelling, Alice was sure but it had been such a long time ago. "This is going to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot and it's going to teach you a lesson. Do you want to guess what that lesson is?"

"Norunning." Mother had still hit her for talking to her. It had only been with her hand. Alice had been used to that.

"So you do listen. You just choose to ignore me. Okay, fine. Turn around. Look at the wall."

Alice had done exactly as she was told. Mother was scaring her. More than she usually did. Mother had yelled. Alice couldn't remeber everything she'd said. Mother had struck her with the leather strap. Alice was young and it hurt and she let out a scream of pain and shock. She'd never felt this before and she didn't know what was happening. She'd felt mother hit her before but this hurt in a different way and it hurt a lot more.

"No!" Mother had struck her again. Alice screamed again "We will do this until you stop screaming." Another strike, Alice screamed again. It hurt and mother barely paused in between hits, yelling about what Alice had done wrong the entire time. "Fine. Have it your way. The more you scream the worse this gets for you. If you make me do this a long time you will regret it." Alice had nodded, terrafied. She couldn't help it. It hurt. It really hurt. Alice tried to stop screaming. But mother was faster than her thoughts could be and before she had decided how to stop herself from screaming mother had already struck her three more times. She screamed again, it hurt and she couldn't stop it. "No!" Mother had punctuated her scolding with a strike from the piece of leather. Alice had managed to find a way she thought might work. She wound up biting her tongue, choking back the amount of pain she was in. She still let out a whimper. "Okay, do I need to do this again?" Mother had yelled at her. Alice shook her head. She hadn't screamed that time. She didn't need to do it again. "I. Told. You. To. Stop." Mother had struck in between each word. She paused a moment. "No sound. None. Got it?" Alice nodded, bracing herself for the next few strikes mother was going to inflict, except there was nothing but the air in front of her to brace herself on. She closed her eyes tight and let the silent tears of her pain fall down her face. She didn't have it in her to fight it any more. It hurt and she hoped mother would never need to do this again. She'd just wanted it to stop. Mother had struck her with the piece of leather, yelling at her for the whimper. She wanted to apologize but wasn't sure if that would anger mother more. "What, you're not even going to say sorry?" Alice shook her head. She'd said no noise. "You're right, I did tell you not to talk. But I'm still going to finish this." Mother had paused for a moment to talk and Alice had thought it was done. It'd hurt so much and she had silent tears rolling down her face. Mother had struck her a few more times then roughly grabbed her shoulder and made her turn around a face her.

"Sit."

Alice sat down. Mother had towered above her. "Are you crying?" Mother had taunted her. Alice had nodded, terrafied mother would make her go through that again. She'd simply told her to stand back up, Alice had shook. She couldn't do that again. She didn't think she'd be able to hold in at least a whimper. "Don't worry, i'll take it easy. You weren't horrible about the strap." Alice shook still waiting for some kind of pain. Mother had simply hit her with her hand and yelled that she wasn't allowed to cry. Crying was usually noisy and she didn't want to deal with it. "And besides, you deserve the pain. If you'd just listen to me I wouldn't have to hurt you now would I?"

Alice shook her head. "That's what I thought. Sit."

Alice immediatly sat back down. "So, did you learn your lesson?"

Alice nodded. She'd learned a lesson. Maybe not the one mother had meant. She'd learned that mother was more than a little scary. She was terrafying. Beyond terrafying. She never wanted to feel that kind of pain again. Ever.

"I am not going to be afraid to use this. It's an option now. I'd be careful about disobeying me if I were you. I was gentle this time, it was your first. I won't be so kind next time. Alright go. You've had enough for the day. Get out of my sight."

Alice walked away and curled up in the corner of the tower. She cried herself to sleep wondering about what it'd take to get mother to choose that particular punishment. And tried to think of how she could avoid it.

And that was the last time she'd tried to get mother to run around with her. The last time she dared run in front of her at all. It had been an effective punishment in mother's eyes. One she'd resorted to more and more often over time. But one that Alice had slowly learned how to take without making any sound. The quieter she was during it, the shorter it was. But it always hurt and she'd quickly become terrafied of it as a possibility. And mother didn't even have to actually use it in order to make Alice stop what she was doing. Sometimes she'd just pick it up and shake it and Alice would immediatly stop what she was doing, sit down and mutter a strand of apologies, sometimes they'd get her out of it and others they only angered mother more.


Zelena grabbed the leash.

Alice blinked and flinched. What had she done wrong? She'd been sitting and drawing which Zelena had said was okay. She'd been asked if she wanted to go outside with Luna. Okay. She'd followed Zelena at a safe distance. She hadn't said anything. Alice didn't know what she'd done wrong. What had she done? Alice sat down, too quickly for her.

"Sorry."

Zelena turned around, still holding the leash. Alice had seemed ready to go outside. What was wrong?

"Okay, we don't have to go if you don't want to?" Alice nodded her head. What did Zelena want her to do? She stared at the piece of leather and tried to think of how Zelena would want it done. Mother had always made her stand when she hit her. Alice wasn't sure she could handle it after months of not feeling almost any pain. Zelena hadn't hurt her when she ran, or when she told her her wrist hurt. Alice didn't understand what Zelena could possibly be ready to punish her for.

"Can't." Alice whispered. She knew it might only anger Zelena more but she needed there to be a reason for this. She needed to know why it was happening so she could think about that instead of how much it hurt.

Zelena wasn't sure what was wrong. Alice had gone from being ready to go to sitting with her knees up to her chest and whispering that she couldn't do something. Did she think she wasn't allowed outside?

"Yes, you can." Alice held in a sigh. Okay, so was that permission to stand up? Alice took it that way and stood up, turning her back towards Zelena. She looked at the nearest wall and focused her attention there. Alice wasn't ready but knew it wasn't her decision when this started. Alice closed her eyes tight and started counting in her head. It was a distraction whenever mother had hit her that had managed to make it hurt just a little less. And if she was thinking hard enough she wouldn't scream. At least she hoped she wouldn't.

Now Zelena was confused. Alice stood there waiting. When nothing happened she warily sat back down. "Sorrynotreadysorry." Zelena hadn't wanted her to stand yet, had she? Alice burried her face into her knees which she'd again pulled up to her chest.

Zelena blinked. Not ready for what? What was going on in Alice's mind? Zelena paused. Alice had been fine right until when? Zelena thought. The moment she grabbed the leash was when Alice had stopped what she was doing and sat on the floor. But that didn't make sense, Alice had used the other leash at least a dozen times . She'd watched Zelena use it even more. It had never seemed to scare her.

"I don't know what's scaring you. I'm sorry if I scared you. Can you please tell me what's wrong?"

"Idon'tknowwhatIdidwrong."

Zelena sighed. Nothing. Zelena was willing to bet Alice had never managed to do anything actually wrong in her life. It was clear her so-called mother had all but beat that out of her before it could even start. Wait...had she?

"You didn't do anything wrong." Alice's face was still burried in her knees. Zelena needed her to look at her for just a second.

"Alice please look at me." Alice looked up and met Zelena's eyes for a second then darted her focus to the leash. It was scary and Zelena was going to hit her with it and she was sure it would hurt more now that she'd avoided it for months. "Does this remind you of something?" Zelena asked pointed to the leash. Zelena watched with concern as Alice nodded.

"Can you tell me what?" Allice nodded again.

Alice nodded. Mother had always just called it the strap. Alice never cared what it was called."Thestrap."

Zelena hoped this wasn't what she thought. "What do you think it's for?"

Alice didn't like where this was going. Mother had always started this kind of thing with questions. They were usually traps to get Alice to either break a rule to justify doing it more or a trap to get Alice distracted so she'd scream after the first few strikes. But ignoring a direct question wasn't helping her case.

"Idobadthing. Ithurts. Iscreamittakeslonger. Hurtsmore. Imakenosoundwhileithappens." Alice was terrafied but she didn't know what Zelena's rules were. Did she want her quiet? Or not? Did she want her to apologize during it or after?

Bloody hell where was Robin? She had an easier time deciphering Alice's panicked way of speaking. Zelena could never quite tell where one word ended and another began. She wasn't sure Alice knew either.

"I will be right back."

Alice held in a groan. Mother had said that the first time she'd done this and she'd brought something back that hurt so much more than any pain she'd ever been through before. Was Zelena finding something even worse for her? Alice curled into herself. She wouldn't be able to take it like she could before leaving mother. She should have stayed there, at least there she'd known what mother expected. She wasn't ready for this . Alice was terrafied. Luna came over and tried to comfort her. Alice was shaking and nothing Luna did was bringing her out of her blind panic.

Zelena returned with Robin. "Okay, can you tell Robin what you think the leash is for?" Alice nodded.

"Punishment. IfIdidbadthing. Ithurts. .IfIscreamorcryorwhimperit'llhurtmore."

Robin blinked. She'd understood every word Alice had said. And she had a new place for her retired efforts at bringing down Nottingham to go. "Mom, I need to talk to you outside."

They both walked out the front door.

"She thinks you're going to beat her with that. And apparently her mother did that enough that she has rules in her head for how she should just take it. She wasn't allowed to scream and if she did it sounds like her mother made it even worse."

"That vile woman!" Zelena let out a strand of curse words. "No wonder she's so bloody terrafied!"

"Mom, I agree with you but you can't help Alice if you're yelling. You'll only make her believe that you'll hurt her just like her mother did."

"Do we have to bloody call her that?"

"I know. But you need to go back in there calm."

Zelena let out a few breaths and then walked back inside and crouched down to Alice's level.

"Okay, I'm not going to beat you. Promise. Here... you hold it. Can't hurt you then, can it?"

Zelena tried to hand Alice the leash. Alice didnt want to touch it. Mother didn't let her touch it. That was bad. Alice panicked. "No." It was bad to touch it. That wouldn't end well for her. But then she realized she'd told Zelena no.


Alice hated the strap mother hit her with. It hurt and it was scary and it was getting dirty. Mother never cleaned anything. Alice had been told to clean mother's room. Which she was doing after mother had hit her for trying to ask for the bathroom. Alice was relieved mother hadn't been angry enough to do more than hit her with her hand and yell. But she was still terrafied about when she got back if she did anything wrong. She'd still let her go but words were bad and mother had said she needed the reminder that she wasn't supposed to ask questions. And Alice had bothered her at the wrong time. It had been years since the first time mother decided to use the strap instead of her hand. It got dirty sometimes but Alice had never cleaned it. Now it looked awful, the evildence of the luckily only occasional too long punishments that drew blood from Alice's scarred and bruised back stained the leather. And Alice was supposed to be cleaning everything in the room. Mother had said so. She'd even said to use the sink if she needed to.

Alice pulled the terrafying object off its hook and started to wash it in the sink.

Mother walked in as she was scrubbing it.

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning."

Mother had glanced over to the now empty hook.

"Where is the strap I use when you need to be punished?" Mother had seemed so angry.

"Here." Alice shook it in the water.

"And you are touching it because?"

Alice didn't respond. It would only anger her further. "I think I'll let you finish cleaning it first, but when you do go stand in your place. You know how. Unless you don't to know how to do even that properly. You only have to clean where I tell you and yet you mess that up constantly. You and your mistakes. Should really work on those. You make a mistake and I have to punish you and you know, I'd think you'd want that to stop. I know they hurt. I've heard you're pathetic whimpering."

Alice nodded and quickly finished cleaning it. She didn't want to make mother wait. She handed it to her and turned her back towards her. She was used to this now.

"You are never to touch this! The only time you should be anywhere near it is if I'm punishing you!" Mother had made that lesson clear but Alice hadn't been bleeding. "Go put it away."

Alice had blinked. There was no way she avoided pain. Either she did as she was told and broke the rule she had just been beaten for breaking or she ignored a direct order. She'd sat down and pulled her knees to her chest.

"Pathetic. Coward scared of your own mother. Get up." Alice blinked, she was in pain already. Was mother going to do it again already? Alice had spent a second too long thinking. Mother had grabbed her and made her stand. "Turn around." Alice did as she was told, even though she was terrafied. "I. Told. You. To. Get. Up." Mother had punctuated every word with strike from the leather strap. Alice had let out a whimper. "No! No sound!" Alice held in the next whimper she had and shook as mother had struck her until she had started to bleed. Mother always stopped once that happened. Said the tower wouldn't let her kill her. She usually yelled for a while after, still holding the scary piece of leather and waving it around as she yelled. Alice had always feared it enough that she didn't even need to move it around to make Alice terrafied of ever doing what mother had been yelling about again. But she never managed to completly avoid it, no matter how hard she had tried. The freshly cleaned piece of leather was bloodstained again. "There. Did you learn your lesson?"

Alice nodded. She'd learned that sometimes there was nothing she could do to avoid pain. She'd learned that sometimes mother was just going to be so angry that she could only hope that she didn't let even the slighest of whimpers escape. "What was that lesson?"

"Notouchthestrap."

"Yes. And?"

"Listen."

"Exactly. Surely you won't repeat those mistakes now will you?"

"No mother."

"Well, just to be sure." Alice had held in a sigh. She couldn't take it any more. Please no. "Oh calm down, I'm not going to beat you again right now. I have my own things to do, you know. Can't stand here all day. And you're bleeding. And as much of a pain you are, you have to be alive in order for me to still have my freedom. And I do so love the market. But go clean the kitchen. When you're done go to bed." Alice didn't know what love was but knew mther activley went to the market weekly and often hit her when she got back.

Alice had done what she was told, holding back the tears as she pulled her injured back around, stretching fresh wounds. Alice finished cleaning the kitchen and started to walk to her little corner. Mother never came back there. It was one of the few places in the tower where she'd never had to feel the pain of an active hit or other punishment. But her back was marred with the remnants of the latest beating. She laid on her stomach so the blankets wouldn't press against any of the open wounds and cried herself to sleep.


Alice panicked. She'd said no. She wasn't allowed to tell Zelena no. Not out loud.

"Sorrysorrysorry."

"Alice, it's okay." Zelena was begging Alice to calm down. It was okay to not want to do something. "You're allowed to tell me no. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do. But this really is just a leash for Luna. I'm not going to hit you with it. I'm not going to hit you at all."

Alice didn't believe her but didn't argue. It didn't look like a leash. It was thicker and a different material. "Speaking of Luna we should probably take her outside?"

Zelena called Luna and hooked the leash to her collar. She tried to hand it to Alice who again refused to touch it. Zelena sighed. "That's fine. You don't have to." They both went outside with Luna but Alice kept an even greater distance from Zelena than usual. Zelena wondered how she'd get Alice to use this leash. She seemed scared of touching it for some reason.

"Alice, why won't you touch the leash?"

"Notallowed."

Zelena sighed."Why not?"

Direct question. "onlytotouchifpunished."

"Alice, this isn't for hitting you. It's so Luna has a leash that won't get dirty as quickly."

Alice shook her head. "Onlytouchifpunished."

Zelena sighed. Alice was just repeating herself. "I understand that, Alice." Zelena was hiding her exasperation and anger behind a gentle smile, one she hoped was comforting in some way. "But, I am not going to beat you."

Alice nodded. Zelena wasn't going to beat her right then. Mother had tried that one a few times. Zelena still saw the fear apparent in Alice's eyes. "Alice, I don't mean just not right now. I don't mean just not today. I don't mean just not with this. I don't mean anything other than I am not going to beat you ever with anything. So here."

Zelena tried to hand Luna's leash to Alice again who started to shake her head violentlly.

"Ok, ok. Don't have to. I understand it's scary." Zelena stepped back a little. "Do you want to go inside or stay out here?"

"Inside."

"Alright, good job telling me what you want. Really good."

Alice was still shaking when they went inside. Zelena decided the leather leash was going to be completly useless. "Look, throwing it away. It can't be a problem if it's not here, yeah?" Zelena threw the leash away and decided she'd go get a few dozen rope and cloth ones when she had a chance. The rope leash hadn't scared Alice and she didn't think a cloth one would but it was better to know she had ones that Alice thought were safe than to only have a kind Alice thought was meant to be used to hurt her.

When Alice retreated to her room after a little prompt of where she wanted to go Zelena sat down in one of the chairs in the kitchen and rubbed her temples. She'd know Alice's so-called mother had been a monster. But she'd gone further than Zelena had even thought about being a possibility. She felt guilty for not getting her out the moment Robin told her about her. How many more beatings had Alice had to endure because Zelena had joked about chores not being a big deal? How many rules had Alice caved to after enough pain because Zelena had thought Robin couldn't be serious about the extent of it? Zelena sighed, the guilt she didn't deserve eating at her. She hadn't hit her but she hadn't helped soon enough and Alice had suffered even more than Zelena thought she had because of it. Zelena sat with her guilt and prayed to the gods she hadn't ruined Alice's chances at being independant by buying that leash.