Heya folks! Been a month, and here's another nice big update for you! I hope you're all doing good, and still enjoying the story!

Authors note -

I think for the time being I am going to make this a monthly fic, as frankly it's the only schedule I can even hope to stick to right now. I am loving my new job, but oh boy does it eat into my writing time, and for the most part, my writing time is dedicated to my original stuff, my own novels and all that. So it often means my fics end up taking a back seat. Now don't worry, I won't be abandoning anything! If you look at my other stories on here, you'll see they're ALL completed. I don't have it in me to abandon a story. But I do think these monthly updates will continue to be the format for quite some time! Sorry for that, but I hope the larger chapters help make up for it!


BAKUGO POV

It was starting to get dark by the time they were allowed to go in and visit Alex properly. Before that it had just been hanging around outside Recovery Girl's rooms, pacing, leaning against walls, refusing to move when teachers 'encouraged' them to wait at the dorms. They politely refused. Or rather, Todoroki politely refused before Bakugo could bite their heads off. Unless the ask to leave came from Mr Aizawa, they weren't moving. Todoroki was handling things pretty well, only twice had the ice formed over his knuckles and he had needed snapped out of whatever mind spiral he had headed down. Bakugo had his own to traverse, but it helped focusing on the two-toned idiot. Distraction. Kirishima had been in pieces when he tried to explain what had happened, it would take a few days for it to sink in that this had nothing to do with what he and Alex had been doing. Just poor timing. But the guy cared a lot, so he would need his own time to swallow that truth.

That, at least, was something Bakugo could fully appreciate. When Mr Aizawa stepped out to give them an update and a summation, they had both leaned back against the wall. Relief. Worry. It flooded in like a light suddenly being turned on; she was returning to her proper age, good, but the process sounded horrible. Suddenly those death statistics from the thugs' quirk made more sense. At least she was being sedated now that she had successfully made it through a brain bleed.

Todoroki hung his head and closed his eyes tight, knuckles going pale as he tried to keep it together. Mr Aizawa nodded to Bakugo and headed inside. No doubt he would have liked to be of some comfort to a student, but right now he had to be by Alex's side. Bakugo heard a chair scrape against the floor inside the room, no doubt Mr Aizawa would be holding her hand, maybe even talking to her? Did she have a fever? Was she dreaming of the events as she slept? How much was she having to relive? Would she be all right when she woke up, or lost to those nerves and fidgeting again?

The questions didn't stop rolling around Bakugo's head until finally the door opened again, a couple of hours later, and they were invited inside. She had been moved to the proper beds by the window at the far end, being kept overnight for observation. The last of the sun dipped over the window sill, but a little golden light managed to reach her as she lay there, looking like herself again. Hair a little shorter than usual, but not close shaved and not weirdly long either. It was her, just how she had been before the patrol.

"She'll likely burn through the sedation soon, but hopefully she stays under naturally. Her body'll be exhausted." Mr Aizawa sounded pretty exhausted himself. "I'll go speak with the rest of the class at the dorms, might grab a shower and a change of clothes too. Can you both stay here for now?"

Todoroki perched on the bed and held her hand, entirely distracted.

Bakugo nodded. "Sure, we got nowhere better to be. The old lady gone home?"

"For now she's just resting in one of the rooms we have for patrolling teachers. She's had her own hard day." Mr Aizawa dipped his head and headed out, leaving them alone in the small room to just be grateful to hear Alex breathing. And without a damn tube to help.

Todoroki watched the machines showing how strong and steady her heart was. His mismatched eyes tightened for a moment and his lips pursed against a wobble, when he looked towards Bakguo, the blonde did his best to avoid it being too obvious he had been staring.

"Bakugo… You think her memory will still be okay?"

"Dunno why it wouldn't." Bakugo perched on the window sill, one foot up, arm slung over his knee, trying to keep it casual. "The only reason they sedated her anyway was because she had seemed lucid at the time, she'll be all right. Either way, she'd find her way back."

Bakugo had never known someone so aware of who they were, regardless of the situation. Some days he looked in the mirror and didn't know what the hell he saw; the next Number one? The biggest asshole of them all? A shithead who didn't deserve whatever number of chances he was on at that point. A fool? A naive idiot? But Alex knew herself. A scrappy kid, someone who had seen the harsh side of the world with no one stood beside her, and she had come out the other side somehow kinder because of it. Nah, she knew who she was. When she didn't? When Alex lost her way or wasn't sure, when the darkness made her question or doubt, that was when Bakugo knew he had to be scared. That was when it was hard to do anything but crumble.

Todoroki nodded, his white hair looking almost orange in the last of the sunlight. "She's not as pale, is she?"

"Nah, she's got a tan like she did before this happened, training outside, walking around on the campus, she was just a weird little milk bottle when she was a kid."

Todoroki chuckled and looked to Bakugo with those mis-matched eyes crinkled in that slight smile of his. "Milk bottle, that's a good way of putting it. Small and pale as milk. Not sure she'd like it. Has connotations of being…" He leaned forward and whispered, "cute."

Bakugo snorted, always finding the 'goofier' side to Todoroki endearing, like a robot that had started to learn how to be human. It suited him. Whether that humanising of Todoroki was all down to Alex, or a little down to Bakugo himself, it wasn't clear. Regardless, he was glad to see more of the real Todoroki being revealed. Like finding out some well-kept secret.

From the window where Bakugo sat, he was able to see Mr Aizawa walk towards the dorms. Hands in pockets, head slightly raised, it looked like he had his eyes closed for a few paces, just breathing in a peaceful evening. Knowing she was on the other side was a big relief for Bakugo and Todoroki, let alone her Dad.

Bakugo thought back to that day he had talked with Alex outside about his murky past with Deku. The day he practically carried her upstairs when her back was acting up, when she had cleared the air between them and refused to put up with Bakugo's self-pity a second longer. She had been lying on the sofa, waiting for painkillers to sink in, and as Bakugo headed for the door, Mr Aizawa stopped him for a moment.

Despite keeping it calm in front of her, Bakugo saw how much his teacher was worried about the relapse in her back injury. He spoke quietly, clearly not wanting her to hear.

"Thanks for dragging the dumbass up here. She's just being stubborn. Hope she didn't give you too much trouble."

"No problem. She'd have done the same to me."

"Likely in a less gentle manner."

Gentle.

It hadn't been a word often used towards Bakugo, but thinking back on it he had been pretty careful with her that day. At least, he had tried to be–her wriggling had hardly helped. But she just needed to stop being impatient with herself. She needed to heal. He smirked and put his head against the glass, wondering how that year at school might have gone without her. Would Mr Aizawa have survived the USJ? Unclear. Then again, would Mr Aizawa have even been a teacher without her? Maybe, maybe not. Would Todoroki be as open? No chance. Would Bakugo have ever had the word 'gentle' laid at his feet? Unlikely. In small ways she had been affecting them all, whether they wanted it or not.

He swallowed hard, knowing full well, deep down, in the part of himself he refused to give any air, that he did want it. He really did. Every smile, every jibe, every time she showed that she genuinely gave a crap about his shitty self, it all made that suffocated part of himself harder to ignore. And Todoroki wasn't making it any easier. The smiles. Why did both their smiles make Bakugo feel weird? And making eye-contact. Why was that getting harder?

Bakugo picked at his jeans. An idiot. He was nothing more, nothing less.

An hour passed before Mr Aizawa came back. "All good in here?"

Todoroki stood away from the bed, not that Mr Aizawa would even care about the closeness. "Yes, sir. She's been quiet and barely moved, but her breathing's been strong and–"

Mr Aizawa held up a hand. "I don't need a full run-down, Todoroki, but I appreciate the attempt."

"Sir. I uh… Well I hate to leave but I was meant to be visiting my mother this evening. Do you think I could come back later on?"

"I don't see why not, and Alex wouldn't want you to miss a visit. Go on."

"Thank you, sir. See you later, Bakugo."

Bakugo waved and as the door closed, he moved to the chair on the other side of the bed from where Mr Aizawa was standing. As he got that bit closer he saw the tan clearer on Alex's skin; scattered freckles along her arms and pale patches due to scars. His keen eyes then landed on her face. Peaceful. Calm. Content. Like none of this crap had ever happened to her, like there weren't maniacs out there trying to drag her back into their shitty games. Like no one had ever let her down.

Bakugo tried and failed to swallow.

A question that had been brewing in the back of his mind rumbled to the front. "Hey, Mr Aizawa?"

"Mm?"

"Was she awake for the…" His nose wrinkled and he closed his eyes. "Was she awake for the back breaking? At Kamino? Did she go through it again?"

He kept his eyes closed. Whether it was a second of hesitation or three minutes, he wasn't sure, but it seemed to last forever. Please. He begged nothing in particular, but he just wanted her to have slept through that moment. At the time, it had passed in a mere instant. But looking back was different. It slowed everything down. Thinking back, when he locked eyes with her at Kamino, it seemed to take forever. The jolt. Her entire frame rocked by that convulsion. Her dark eyes went wide. Her brows lifted in the middle, like she struggled to even understand the pain. And that look of… searching. Like she had lost track of where she even was. And then the next moment, even worse, when she just looked scared. But not for herself. No, that was the worst part. She looked so terrified for him. For Bakugo. For the one she got caught for. Then the panic passed and a strange acceptance took over, a numbness quickly followed by fresh fight. As inspiring as it was terrifying. Body broken, bleeding, dying, and yet there she was, snarling back at the world that tried to take her down.

"She was sedated through the entire Kamino incident."

Air rushed out of Bakugo and he slumped slightly, the sheer relief surprising him. They lived in a shitty world sometimes, but at least it occasionally offered some damn mercy. He nodded, blinking hard before trying to open his eyes, them having grown warm as the relief continued to brim his mind and spill over.

"She'll be fully healed by the end of this." Mr Aizawa continued, coming over and putting a hand on Bakugo's shoulder. Initially he wanted to shrug it off, to reject the need for reassurances, but he couldn't. Not only had he feared her hating him but also her Dad. But nope, there Mr Aizawa was, comforting Bakugo. Kindness. They both seemed saturated in it. Amazing. Occasionally infuriating.

Bakugo nodded. "Glad to hear it, she'd only bitch if she had to do physio again."

"Mm. Good point." Me Aizawa smirked, squeezed Bakugos shoulder and went to his own seat on the other side of the bed, where the machines whirred and monitored. "How was Todoroki after I let you guys in here alone?"

"Quiet, as fucking always. But I think okay. Even though she's still and kinda bruised, she doesn't look… I dunno… not quite as broken as before, not as small."

"She's come a long way since these things happened. You all have."

As a teacher, Mr Aizawa was Bakugos favourite. There was no bullshit. Everything had a reason, every word a purpose, no stupid rules cooked up or dumb power-moves, everything had a logic. So the fact he was offering that compliment hit Bakugo straight in the chest; since the Kamino incident press conference, it was clear his teacher believed in Bakugo, but it was good to know it remained. It endured.

"Gotta keep measuring up." Bakugo snorted, glancing across to his teacher who had raised a brow in question. "She keeps raising the bar, can't go falling behind now."

Pride filled the man's eyes as he looked at his sleeping kid. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Did you have to raise her to be so annoyingly good at shit?"

Laughter barked out of Mr Aizawa for a moment and he put a hand over his mouth. "Apologies. Though I can't claim a lot of the credit in all honesty, she came with that already."

Bakugo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, take the blame."


ALEX POV

When I wake up, it looks like it's a little before dawn, and in my small 'hospital' room, I have three dozing twits. Dad is sprawled on the small examination table to the side, his capture weapon slightly unraveled, mouth ajar, hair all over the place. At least he was sleeping, I guess. Meanwhile Sho and Bakugo are slumped in the chairs beside my bed. Hair rumpled, clothing creased, brows furrowed or calmly blank. And they all snore. No doubt it was partially to do with the positions they were sleeping in, but it was still hilarious. I snorted, but the giggles got the better of me and I was soon cackling away, failing to do anything about it by putting my hands over my mouth.

They gradually came round, snorting or coughing as they awoke from their thunderous slumber. I continued to giggle as they clawed their way back to consciousness. Sho grinned when he finally realised what was happening and he leaned forward to give me a hug and a kiss to the cheek. Bakugo blinked again and then smirked, nudging me with his foot and then stretching out his likely aching shoulders, a big yawn splitting his lips.

Dad perched on the bed, scooping me into a hug and then cupping my face. "You fucking done with the dramatics?"

"Mm. I think so." I grinned and blew a raspberry at him before being plonked back into my pillows.

I was given breakfast while a few more tests were done. Recovery Girl was so careful with me, so kind and gentle that I had to wonder how bad things had gotten. I felt all right now. A few aches here and there, but generally fine. It took a few attempts to convince them, but eventually they trusted my newfound honesty on these matters. No point masking it. Sure, I wanted to be able to go to the Endeavour Agency to learn, but I could observe if need be. Some training would be needed to see how my physical strength was doing.

"All right, you can head back to the dorms. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary now." She tapped my knee and I got up from the hospital bed, now dressed in my normal clothes that Dad had brought back with him last night. "You may go for a light run with your Father today, to see how your stamina is doing. And some training sessions in the gyms will be fine as well, but you boys do not go all out, got it? And watch out for those memories as well."

"Memories?" I questioned, hopping as I tugged my other boot on.

They all looked between themselves. I stayed quiet, letting them come to their own conclusions on how much to tell me–they would be avoiding saying too much for a good reason, I knew that. I could trust that wholeheartedly. But looking back, only a few flashes were clear to me after I hit the deck and Kirishima had to carry me to this room. A few moments with Dad being overly sappy to me, likely scared out of his mind. And… Well no, that was about it. Had I been remembering things as the process occurred? My head was clear, but I didn't try to reach back just then. It could wait.

Dad scratched the back of his neck. "A few things seemed to be coming back to you, but we'll let your head sort through that in it's own time, okay?"

"Sounds good."

They all blinked.

I held up my hands and laughed. "Hey, I gotta learn some patience eventually, right?"

Bakugo chuckled and shook his head, walking out into the corridor. "C'mon then, let's get your dramatic ass back to the dorms. Everyone's probably waiting in the common room or somethin'."

Ah. Yes, our worrisome friends. I grinned and followed him and Sho downstairs, while Dad stayed behind to figure a few things out with Recovery Girl. I didn't bother asking about the agency visit yet. They wouldn't know if I could go or not. This was new territory. And I was trying out this whole 'patience' thing.

It was a beautiful morning. The birds chirped, the sun slowly crawled into a pale blue sky, and the winter's chill puffed our breaths into white clouds as we walked in a row, me between the two of them, unable to stop smiling.

Sho took my hand, and I laced our fingers together. "You seem pretty steady on your feet."

"Yeah, I feel steady too. No back twinges, no numbness."

"Well I'm sure I could give you a piggy-back if required." He smirked and I squeezed his hand.

Bakugo kicked a pebble along the path. "Good thing you're here then Todoroki, because she's fuckin' heavy."

"Prick."

"Midget."

"Blonde Fluffball."

"Fluffball?" He raised a brow and then put a hand to his incredibly fluffy hair, apparently sleeping in a chair all night did weird things to his scalp. He pinked and ruffled it as if that would do anything but further the fluff. "If you're all good after your run with your Dad, how about some training at gym gamma?"

"Sounds good." I grinned and then I gasped as I recalled the date. "Shit, did you still go see your Mum, Sho? Crap, you didn't miss it because I was all fuck–"

"I went and saw her." He smiled softly and kissed the back of my hand. "She sends her best, though I didn't give her all the details. I also sent a text to Fyumi when you woke up, so don't worry, they're all informed."

I sighed. "Phew."

We would be at the dorms any minute. As we headed up the path towards the porch, it was clear that the common room light was on, and from the looks of it a few people were already milling about in there. Or they had been all night.

Bakugo cleared his throat. "Kirishima's probably gonna need the hug first."

"Crap, he was still blaming himself?"

"Y'know you would be as well, so don't give me that crap." He rolled his eyes and headed up the steps. "C'mon time to see your adoring fans."

And he wasn't wrong. As soon as the door opened we were met with a wall of worried and also relieved faces. Mina slammed into me, hugging so tight I could feel her heartbeat. Then came Ura and Tsu, followed by Momo and Jiro soon after. My girls were such worriers. But then I had to peel myself away and make for the fidgeting mass that was Kirishima, hiding at the back, looking at the ground, radiating guilt. He didn't even see me until I'd practically tackled him in a hug.

"Oof!" He huffed, hesitating for barely a second before holding on tight. "You okay, man?"

"I'm fine Kirishima, totally fine. They're running tests and all that crap, but I'm good, seriously." I squeezed. "You had nothing to do with it, you twit."

He sighed. "Yeah, so they keep telling me. Just real glad you're back."

"Mm, despite how amusing it was to see me tiny?"

He snorted and let go. "Hey you know it would be the same from you if it had happened to us."

I couldn't argue.

Tea was brewed, breakfast made, and some stupid movie put on while we all sat there, caught up and just existed as kids for a while. It was nice. It was normal. Gradually though homework was calling, or weekend visits to family, or training in general pulled folks away. I headed up the stairs with Sho, hand in hand again, it being far easier for me to keep up with him this time.

As we came to his floor, he just kept going, clearly wanting to take me to my door. I didn't argue, though I did flip the bird over my shoulder when I heard Bakugo grumbling about 'get a room'. We walked to my door and Sho leaned against the doorframe while I fished my keys from my pocket.

He was watching me with a strange look on his face, almost like he didn't believe I was there.

He cleared his throat. "So, you think you'll be up to training with me as well as Bakugo?"

"I assumed you'd be coming along, so hell yes." The door opened and I gave him a careful peck on the cheek. But he slipped a hand onto my hip and when I looked into his eyes, the disbelief was replaced with something else entirely. "Sho?"

"I missed you so much."

"Mm, I'm sorry I–"

"Can I give you a proper hello kiss?"

"Please." I hummed, pulling him inside and closing the door with his back as I pushed him and stepped as close as possible.

He cupped my face, kissing chastely. It was sweet, but my body just wanted him closer in every single sense. Was it the return to my teenage body? I couldn't be sure. But every inch of skin fizzed. I wanted him closer. I wanted everything. Hormones, man. Fucking bonkers. His fingers threaded into my hair as he tilted my head, and I bit lightly at his bottom lip. He grinned and I deepened the kiss. My heart hammered. More. I clasped the front of his t-shirt. One of his hands gripped my hair, and the other slid down my throat and over my chest, skimming round to the small of my back and pulling me flush against him. Our breath combined. Our tongues danced. Perfect. Wrapping my arms around his neck I turned us, pushing myself against the door and pulling him against me, with one of my legs hitching onto his waist. He caught on quickly, lifting me easily and wrapping my legs around his middle. I sighed and he groaned softly, grinding gently against me, doing things with his tongue that made my head spin and my hands grip the back of his shirt, nails catching against him in all likeliness.

But we still needed to breathe.

He gave a sigh of pure contentment and put his forehead to mine, still holding the curve of my ass as he pinned me to the door. A grin played along his reddened lips before he gave them a quick lick and kissed along my jaw.

"I missed you."

"You already said." I chuckled, eagerly angling my head to give him more access. "I would have missed you too, had I had space in my head to think about it."

"Mm, I know what you mean. As much as I missed you, I also had to ensure I didn't miss you quite like this." He snorted and shook his head, returning to kissing my lips before he simply grazed the end of my nose with his. "I'm very glad we don't need to have a tough conversation."

"Yes, this is a far more fun option." I pushed his hair back and kissed along the line of his scar.

"I know we would have figured it out, but damn it was so confusing." He breathed, and I sensed a Sho ramble on the horizon, so I simply kept peppering his marked skin, letting him get the noise out of his head. "I was still so in love with you of course, but obviously any kind of attraction or wanting or like… I dunno, 'lust' was thrown out of the window with you being a kid, but then at night in my head you weren't a kid. Know what I mean? It was maddening."

I had to be the most annoying girlfriend in existence. "I'm sorry for the confusion."

"Not your fault, but please stay the right age." He laughed softly, his eyes a little pink at the edges when he opened them again.

"I'll do my best. Thanks for being so patient."

"It's easy when you're so worth waiting for." He grinned as the blush bloomed in my cheeks. He knew how much the cheesy lines made me cringe, and yet how hard they made my heart pound at the same time. I squeezed his middle tight with my thighs. He laughed again and shook his head. "Jokes aside though, I do love you, and I'm so very glad you're back, for more than perverted reasons."

I chuckled. "Nothing wrong with a little perversion, when we're both at a consenting age."

"Mm, a big plus."

I played with a strand of his hair. "Sho…?"

"Mm?"

"Well, firstly, I love you too. But secondly, if I do get to go on the Work Study thing…"

"Yeah?" He leaned into my touch.

"Do you think we can share a room?"

He smirked. "I don't think officially, but I'll gladly sneak over to your room every night Stasis."

The way his voice gravelled it's way over my Hero name sent a shudder all along my spine. I bit my lip hard and gave his middle another squeeze, bringing another grin, albeit a far cheekier one, to his lips.

"God dammit, Sho."

"What's wrong?"

"That doesn't work so well when your Hero name is just your name."

"Sorry, guess you'll just have to say that instead." He tilted his head and kissed my cheek.

I bit my lip. "Or scream it…"

He laughed softly. "Alex, you have a run to go on."

"I know, and?"

He whispered in my ear. "Don't think it'll work if you're flat on your back."

Oh. Fucking. Hell.

I dragged him into a fresh kiss, and we shared a moan. It was unclear how long we were there, sinking deeper into the miasma of hormones and desperation before my phone gave a distinct buzz and we were dragged apart by reality.

We panted.

My phone gave another buzz.

Sho slowly lowered me to the ground, not breaking eye contact as his hands skimmed up my body, grazing my ribs and chest before cupping my face again to give me a small peck on the nose.

A third buzz.

I dragged myself away from those mismatched eyes and looked at my damn phone.

It was Dad asking if I was still up for the run, then Hizashi demanding I wait for him to join us on the run, and Dad then following up with a quick insistence that we head out as soon as possible, for no particular reason. Reality indeed.

I grinned and wriggled away to pull open my workout gear drawer. "Better get moving, Sho."

"Mm?" He turned and blinked as I slowly started to pull my t-shirt up.

"Better get out of here before you risk being discovered by a very unimpressed Father."

"Fuck." He muttered under his breath, eyes honed in on the small peek of my lower stomach and hip bones. "S-See you at training."

"Mm, enjoy the cold shower."

"You're cruel."


"Time to get back to training at last, ya damn slacker."

"Oi!" I snorted, nudging Bakugo as we headed along the corridor.

It was the next day. My run with Dad had gone well, and the subsequent training with Sho and Bakguo had gone without a hitch. I met them blow for blow. My quirk was under control, my body functioning as expected. My stamina was fine beyond some expected tiredness from the toll of recovery, but even that was manageable. So I was cleared for the Endeavour study, and now it was time for more training, to ensure I was in peak form for when we were in the field in a few days.

Sho was joining us later, apparently Endeavour had an oh-so-important phone call to have with him immediately. It would be bullshit, but as he had accepted me, Izuku and Bakugo on the Study, for now Sho would play nice.

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Midget!" Bakugo laughed, striding ahead to the training arena.

I pulled his hood down with my quirk and laughed. "As if, sparkle fist. This is full-fat Alex you're dealing with now. Time to put you back in your little place."

"Pah! You'll wish you were still a toddler."

"You'll wi… w-wis–"

Gah. What am I seeing?

The white walls turn to patchy concrete. My workout gear stripped to a plastic suit that left me ice cold. The corridor warped.

"Alex?" Bakugo paused to look back over his shoulder.

I stumbled, hand only just catching the back of his hoodie as I tumbled forward, the floor changing between clean white tiles to chipped grey ones.

He lurched back and caught me as the shivering set in. "Whoa, you're pale as hell."

I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose, putting a hand to my mouth as my stomach churned. It was like being on a carnival ride, or thrown in the air by Ura's quirk. Shit. I just had to get a handle on it. If this was the memories, I had to gain some kind of control.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Control. Find the control.

I pursed my lips and imagined it was Shinsou trying to gain access with his quirk. Hold it off. Keep the distance. Your head. Your rules. Your damn control. I clung to poor Bakugo far too tight, nails digging into his arm.

"Breathe, Alex. Breathe. I'm callin' your Dad."

My head…

Keep the walls in place. Keep that damn composure. Is it the Vision guy trying to get to me? No, it didn't feel like that. It felt like something coming back to me. Like my mind was pulling on some great rope, or chain, dragging things back into place.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

One. Two. Three.

Strength returned to my legs, and I gradually managed to stand on my own. This was not a time to wobble. If this was my memories returning, then fine. But they would do so on my terms. These memories were not taking control. My damned head. My damned rules.

I groaned and put my head against his shoulder, breathing deep, sweat dewing all over me. "Shit. Bak…"

My throat clenched. Something was in there. Something hard and plastic. My workout gear was cold, like a plastic playsuit, and my hair stopped shifting against my forehead, or my ears. Gone. Shaven. Just like when I was captured by the Yakuza.

"Memories." I managed to force it out. "Definitely memories."

"Don't fight it." He held onto my shoulders tight, like he was trying to hold the pieces of me together. "C'mon Alex, it's hurting you, you gotta let it–"

"No." I snarled. "No, I am not g-giving into this."

I looked up to see his face warp to some passive doctor with glasses. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Bullshit. I am here with Bakugo. I'm in the training arena. I'm safe. I'm here with Bakugo, one of my best friends. I am here. I am not in a damn tube in a lab. I know where I am. I fucking know who I am.

My stomach churned. My heart raced. My mind ached. But with each moment my pulse slowed, my breathing evened and my panic subsided.

The walls were put back into place.

The corridor returned to normal.

The past finally shut the fuck up for the moment.

I took a long shuddering breath and straightened, the corridor feeling very cold as I stared at the hollow of Bakugo's throat. I could see it shift a little with how hard his heart was beating. Good to know I wasn't the only one who was spooked. I gulped. His hands hovered, ready to grab me if I fell. But I wouldn't. Not this fucking time.

I took a sip of water and breathed out slowly. "Okay. Ch-Change of plan."

"Uhuh… To what?"

"Training arena. Call my Dad. Call Sho and… And fucking find me a pen or a recording device. Phone would do, right?" I blinked and looked up at his terrified face. I understood his worry but I had this. "I'm in control, Bakugo."

It took a second, but the worried line of his lips cracked into a smirk. "Anything to get outta training with me, huh?"

"Shit." I panted, laughing with him. "You're getting wise to me."

I tried to move onwards, but my legs weren't keen on co-operating. Okay, at least I had the mental side down. He put an arm around me and helped me move along the corridor. I could still feel my pulse in my head, like the memories were knocking at a door, demanding entrance. One lapse of concentration and they would flood in. Like when I was still under the 'de-aging' quirk and the USJ stuff flooded back. It overwhelmed me. But I had been still in the mindset of my younger self. So of course I was overwhelmed. Not this time. Now, the control would remain, and I would command the memories. This could offer some real insight into things. Or, it could just be a mess of meaningless images. Either way, I wanted to actually find out, rather than guess at what I might have forgotten. And this time, I was not going to be a victim.

I asked Bakugo to set me down in the middle of the arena, and for him to sit a few metres away. If the memories themselves got too intense, it was entirely possible my power might flare. There was no way I'd risk him, Dad, or Sho being hurt.

As we waited, I kept imagining a big blue door withholding the memories. Then the door split into smaller ones, containing the most impatient memories. By the time Dad and Sho had joined us and sat by Bakugo, I had a lot of doors to deal with. Bakugo's eyes hadn't left me since we sat down, but I hadn't been able to speak. The second my lips parted, things spiralled. So I kept quiet whilst waiting for Dad and Sho. I wanted Sho here because frankly I'm scared as hell. And Dad for that reason too, but he can also stop me if my power got out of hand.

Dad set his phone forward, recording. "All right, Alex. Go ahead."

I nodded and drew a long breath, imagining myself approaching the first door, and slowly opening it. Careful. Not too fast. I winced. It flung itself open, throwing me to the ground, swamping me with information. Cold corridors. Grabbing hands. Harsh chemical smells, barked orders and echoing laughter. I hunched forward, groaning. Over and over I was shoved into a glass tube of liquid, my throat burning around a thick plastic breathing tube, eyes stinging with some kind of fluid they smothered me in. Bruises littered my arms and legs. Ow. Shit. In and out of the tube, along and back through the corridor. Feet dragged along the cracked tiles. Thrown into the small room with Eri, the one where I would land on a soft rug sometimes. Or it was the lab itself, cold tiling and the stench of cleaning chemicals.

"Alex? You still with us?"

"Y-Yeah." I dug my nails into the arena's sand. "Lab information, I think. Lots of cold corridors, hard tiling and this w-weird stinging fluid around me. Probably the tube from the footage…" I swallowed hard, massaging my throat to convince myself the tube wasn't there. I opened my eyes, needing to remind myself I could in fact see now. The sense of blindness in the memories was a bit intense. "They laughed, they barked orders at each other. G-Gotta go deeper though. There must be information on the qu-quirks they gave me."

"Don't push it too ha–"

"I won't." I shuddered and bowed my head. "Fuck that table was cold."

"Table?"

"They…" I shuddered from head to toe again, moving my arms and wriggling a little to remind myself that I was not currently bound. The doctors were nowhere near me, the tube long gone.

It was just a memory. Strapped to an icy metal table, the heat of lamps above and clank of instruments.

"They strapped me to a table, and they were really shitty about cleaning it as well. But it was always cold. And th-the lamps were hot. I… Fuck it's all such a blur."

"Take your time."

"I think… I think at one point there was a flame based quirk. It burned so badly, and it was like lava when I threw u-up. Then a cold based one. I dunno if it was ice, but it sounded like crystal falling against the tiles, pushing out of my sk-skin." I sucked in a breath and sobbed, the pain a mere echo in the back of my mind, but the ringing of my screams that much more potent. My Dad, Sho and Bakugo didn't need to know that bit. "There's other quirks, but I think I kept passing out, or my body rejected them. Not sure. So many but… but they weren't compatible..."

The lamps burned above.

"You little shit. You just refuse to fucking die, don't you?"

What? Who the hell… I blinked hard, but the image didn't clear. I think I had my eyes closed when this memory occurred. That voice. I know that voice somehow, something deep inside of me curling up against it. Her. The white-haired woman. Shit. Was it the same moment I had seen in the footage the police gave me? Maybe. I latched on.

"Fine. Keep fucking living for now. You'll just be their toy, hear me? Be it this Yakuza shithead or the weird flaking dude. They all have plans for you. Guess your parents signed your own damn demise anyway, making you this perfect little lab rat. Too hardy to die, and all that Endurance to try and copy, to try and control."

Pain flickered along my arm, where I had seen her cutting with that scalpel.

"They'll never stop using you, and I'll never stop helping them."

Another door peeked into view, leading on from the one I had already entered. Maybe a more indepth quirk based memory? I edged towards it in my mind but paused. Wait. Give yourself a second. Breathe. There's no rush, go at your own damn pace.

Bringing myself back into the real world, I reached for my water and sipped, taking a second to ensure I could move on. Headache, check, but at a manageable level. No nosebleeds. And I could see. All right.

I opened the door.

The new memory was warmer than the last, no maddening noise or panic. It wasn't the lab at all. Crap. Maybe I should stop it, then?

A coffee machine whirred, grinding beans and pouring a fresh pot. Pastries gently warmed in the oven. So warm, pleasant, homely. I didn't want to look away, not from this. Maybe my mind was trying to remedy the horribleness of before? No idea. But it was idyllic. I stayed put. Sunshine through a large living room window. An apartment full of light. Butter, jams and juices. Plates were laid on a table by me. Three plates. Three? Strong arms wrapped around me from behind and squeezed my waist. I was glad to have them there, only wanting them to hold tighter. We had the whole day to enjoy together, finally we all had a day off. All? A chin landed on my shoulder. A kiss pressed into my neck.

My voice mumbled with another, Sho? I kissed his nose. Red and white hair in view. Sho. It was definitely him, but older. Stronger. Closer. We chuckled. He squeezed my waist.

Another voice appeared. Bakugo? He smirked. Fresh out of the shower, I think. He just got back from a run, maybe? We laughed. He kissed my hand, my cheek. His hair was damp against my temple. Why was he there? And why was he kissing me? And why did I want him to keep doing it?

I focused harder. The image cleared a little as Sho and Bakugo, several years older, at least mid twenties, smirked at each other before they kissed briefly. Wait… What? Despite my confusion, within the vision my heart warmed at the sight, but in a normal way, a content and expected way. This was life, apparently. Normal. Regular. Home. Bakugo sauntered off after ruffling Sho's hair.

Playful banter, shuffling slippers and a soft whistling tune. I laid out the plates and went for milk for the table. Our table. In our apartment. Our day off.

Sunshine faded.

The door closed.

The training arena returned.

What the hell was that? A vision pushed onto me during captivity? Or a vision of the future via some quirk they forced onto me?

Dad leaned forward a bit, concerned. "What're you seeing?"

"I don't… I don't kn–" I winced, another image falling into place demanding attention.

Dammit fine, what now?

I let the images take hold.

Izuku? He floated above me, like he just jumped into a fight. But he looked strange, swathed in darkness, tendrils bleeding out of his form like giant ropes. What? No wait, I'd already seen this. I had lived this. I yelled at the image, reaching for him. A black tendril whipped out at me, striking across one of my eyes. Ow! Shit that hurt! Darkness filled the vision after that, sending me back to the arena with a small huff.

"What the hell, I–"

Another.

Slam. Dammit I'm losing control here.

A cage. Shit, where am I? Barred light filtered down as I lay in a small bed. No wait. I'm not in a bed, I'm on the ground. Not only that, I'm being pinned. Someone yelled. Shinsou? I blinked. Hands clasped my neck. I kicked out, but not to hurt Shinsou, just to get him to stop. Panic. His eyes are filled with panic. Everything blurred. The cage had moved. No, I had. I stood outside it. Bakugo stood opposite me, building a blast. I had to contain it. If I didn't, someone would be hurt. By me? By Bakugo? No. By… By someone who put us in the cage. R-Right? The blast blossomed in his palm and I hold it. I hold it…

"Alex, talk to us!" Dad said, voice raised in worry.

I gasped and returned to the arena, slamming the doors shut and withholding. They rattled. They groaned against the weight of information. But I held it.

My head pounded, but with each long breath, it eased.

In.

Out.

Breathe...

"S-Sorry."

"It's fine, but you seemed overwhelmed."

"Y-Yeah. Hang on." I sipped my water again, hands shaking. "M-Memories or… Or maybe Visions. Four of them."

"Of the same thing?"

"No." I sipped again, lips wobbling for a second as my emotions ran riot. It's fine. This is just part of the process. "I dunno if it's the Vision guy having m-messed with me or some kinda future thing. I…"

Could the visions be the future? I don't want that if it means being attacked by Bakugo and Shinsou. But they can't all be the future, right? Unless Izuku was going to have another episode with his quirk. Dammit, I hoped not. But then again, the first vision was so wholesome. So warm. That would be a lovely future; an apartment filled with light and love. Shit this was confusing.

I tried to explain without confusing people. "One is… Fuck! Ow. Sorry, headache. Okay uh… The first one was f-from the lab footage. When that bitch was messing with me on the table."

"Ah, the last recording?"

"Yeah. When she was talking to me. I think… I think she was just messing with me, but she mentioned Chisaki and Shigaraki as both never intending to… To stop using me as a lab rat. Like they both had plans for me still. Dunno if that's important anymore but y-yeah, that was that one. The next was of me in an apartment, m-mid twenties, happy scene. Just domestic, calm, content."

I glanced at Sho and my cheeks went pink. I did my best not to look at Bakugo.

I continued. "A-Another is Izuku covered in darkness and w-weird black tendrils striking out all around. Like in training. But it… It hit me."

"Deku hit you?" Bakugo repeated, not in anger, but confusion. "That makes no sense… It couldn't be the training though. You dodged his Black Whip stuff."

"I-I know." I gagged, recalling how I had that sense of de ja vu during training. Like I had known that attack was coming. Had I seen those visions when I was with the Yakuza? Had I recalled it when we were training and not even realised? Shit. Dammit, this was insane. "I wonder if I dodged those attacks because I knew…"

Sho frowned. "Like you remembered the vision without knowing you had it?"

"I guess?" I swallowed. "And the other v-vision was of a c-cage."

I could feel Shinsou's hands around my throat, his panicked eyes bright behind my eyelids.

"A cage?" Sho repeated. "With Midoryia?"

"N-No… Well… Maybe? There's a few of us in there together, I think. Sh-Shinsou… He was strangling me. Panicked. He looked so scared."

"He looked scared?" Dad repeated. "But you said he's stra–"

"Shh." I gasped as another door rattled on its hinges. "Shit. Another one. Give me a second."

My teeth snapped together.

Dad? It's a vision. Just a vision. Breathe. Dad is fine in the arena, he's fine. In the vision thing, he yelled, his capture weapon flying true like always. But it was flying at me. He aimed for me? I swatted it aside. I loomed, floating, reaching with my power. He tried to stop me, but I slapped his weapon against his eyes. I held tight. I crushed his bones. His face stretched into a scream and his legs gave way. Blood spread on the ground, running from his back. Somehow I felt it in my own bones. Broken. I had broken his back? What? Why had I done that? Why the hell would I have hurt Dad? The image shifted. Blurred grey shapes at first, but then it cleared, revealing Dad in a wheelchair. Eyes sunken, mouth slightly down-turned, hands limp on the arm-rests. Broken. He looked towards me. He flinched and wore an uneasy smile. Like trying to keep someone dangerous happy. I knew that smile well. I'd worn it often when trying to keep Shigaraki happy.

I jolted back into the real world, staring at the ground, the sand growing dark as my tears fell.

"Alex?" Dad's boots crunched against the sandy floor.

"I hurt you."

"What?" He took another step, but I held a hand out, lightly pushing against his chest with my power. "Alex?"

"You… You were trying to stop me doing something. I attacked you. B-Broke your back. Wheelchair." I put a hand over my mouth, lips wobbling. "Dad I–"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry."

"But what if I–"

"Nothing has happened yet, and it might not even happen. It could be all tricks simply put there to mess with you."

Were they visions of the future or visions given by the Vision guy? Or… future insights into visions he will give me? Fuck. My head. One more memory shakes at the side of my awareness. Shuddering. Demanding my attention. The rest are so still, so quiet.

"Th-There's one more."

"All right… If you think you can handle it."

I nodded and put my head in my hands, letting it flow over me. Silence. Scratchy hospital sheets. I lay in a hospital bed–nothing new there, but then I looked closer. The calendar on the wall flipped through months, like someone skimming a book. I lay so still. Except my eyes, they rolled with dreams. Visitors came and went. Sho. Dad. Bakugo. Bakugo and Sho. Sometimes all three. Hizashi. Nemuri. Dust gathered on top of me, burying me. What the hell?

I opened my eyes. But it was still there. It would not be ignored. Dust piled higher and higher, calendar flipping faster and faster. My body withered. It sunk into the sheets, thinner and thinner, smaller and smaller. Would I disappear?

I slammed the door closed and locked it tight.

Everything fell silent. No more lab. No more quirks. No more visions, be they real or fabricated. Enough.

Dad knelt, my eyes landing on his. He pursed his lips. "What was the final image?"

"I… Me in a hospital bed for a very long time. Like months or… o-or years. Asleep. D-Dreaming maybe?"

He blinked. "Like a coma?"

"Maybe?"

Bakugo and Sho looked at each other and then back to me.

I laid back and stared up at the large windows in the ceiling, a few clouds skirted by, a bird or two as well. Real world. Nothing was on fire. Yet. I swallowed and cast the 'yet' aside. I was safe. They were safe. None of it might be real–unless I had just remembered having a vision about Izuku's Black Whip moment, and it had in fact helped me avoid being injured during that training. If that was the case, everything else might be true.

Steps approached.

Dad leaned into view. "You want to stop there?"

"No. I just need a breather." I smiled and closed my eyes as Sho and Bakugo came into view.

What the hell did that apartment scene mean? An apartment, the three of us, and clearly more than friends. It's not unheard of for folks to have poly relationships, not at all. Especially in our line of work, folks tend to bond close and in groups. But Bakugo? He's my friend. Then again, Sho was my friend first as well. I couldn't say this to them. It would make everything so complicated.

Damn.

And if it's something from the Vision guy, he'd done a good job. I am bamboozled.

"How's your head?" Sho asked, kneeling down, laying a cool hand to my forehead. I sighed and pulled on his wrist so he pressed harder. He chuckled. "Do you need some more water?"

"Probably."

He helped me sit up, letting me lean against him as I sipped the water and felt the doors rattle a little less. Opening them, examining what lay beyond, it helped. It eased the panic and flood of information. They knew they would be listened to in time. That bought me a little patience.

Bakugo scuffed the ground with his boot. "Could you tell how soon these things were happening? Or when the Vision shithead wanted you to think they were?"

"The apartment one felt far off, like a good few years. I was in my early to mid twenties I think."

"And the others?" He crouched nearby, ruby eyes studying me closely.

There was only friendship there, a concern for a friend, no simmering withheld feelings. Right? I had been wrong with Sho for a while though, hadn't I? The last thing I wanted to do was be leading Bakugo on. Then again, if the vision was of the future, perhaps I wouldn't be. Shit. This was a mess.

He tapped my foot. "Oi, don't space out on us."

Us.

Together.

Gah, stop it!

I blinked. "Right, s-sorry. I uh… I don't know. The others were all over the place."

Dad tapped on his phone, presumably taking notes or saving what had been recorded thus far. Maybe he was sending it to others for analysis. Or my counselors. Good god they were going to have a field day.

Sho's hand moved up and down my back. "You seemed to be controlling it pretty well, though. Congrats." He smiled when I looked at him, kissing my cheek. "Is the water cold enough?"

"Yeah, it's great. I imagined the memories behind doors, it seemed to help. And they're a lot less agitated now that I've started looking into things."

Bakugo rolled his eyes. "Nerd."

I stuck my tongue out.

Sho chuckled. "If it works, then great. That's all it needs to do."

"I think I'm good to try another door." I set the water to the side and took some deep breaths.

They returned to their spot a few metres back.

Dad set up the phone again. "Your head okay?"

"Achy at most." I took a long breath in through my nose and slowly released it through my mouth. "All right. Here we go."

I sunk myself into the door space again and walked towards the nearest one, a pearly white wooden door with a red handle. My hand shook as I reached. It's just a vision, or a memory, but either way, it either hasn't happened, happened a long time ago, or never will happen, regardless, it wasn't happening right now.

The handle squeaked as I pulled it open. I stepped through. Nothing bombarded me, and yet somehow that was more unnerving. Like something was readying to jump out at me once I was lulled into a false sense of security, or distracted. I waited. Nothing came. But a small light was a few dozen paces away, like it waited at the end of a long corridor.

I approached.

Noises started to filter towards me, the sounds of traffic, rattling fire-escapes and slamming car doors. A city. The smell of warmed rubbish wafted against my nose. Then the drip-drip-drip of a faulty pipe nearby. The clack of shoes against concrete. An alleyway. I kept going, and reached the pool of light, finding myself looking up at the hand I was holding onto tightly.

Conversation fluttered over my head.

"He said nine am. Where the hell is he, Damien?"

"I dunno, you're the one who was in fuckin' contact with him. All I did was make sure your sorry ass got outta bed in time."

"Whatever. Shit…"

"What? What did you fuckin' forget now?"

"Nothing! My sister's here." The hand I was holding held tighter, and I whimpered at the pain. The lady holding my hand gave a strained smile to someone approaching from the far end of the alley. Heels clacked, long white hair swished, a pencil skirt rustled softly. Fancy. "I told you not to come until later, Mel."

"And I'm supposed to take you at your word that this is handled? By you or this cretinous shithead."

"Fuck off, Mel."

"As eloquent as ever Damien, what my sister sees in you over a rat from the gutter, I'll never know. Now shut up, the real people are talking. Look sis, you have to be careful in these deals. Not that you should've done this mad scheme anyway but–"

"It's a shit ton of money, Mel. We need it. We moved here and now we gotta make it work. So–"

"It's still not worth the damned risk." The fancy woman stomped one of her feet, splashing the murky water over my mismatched tiny trainers. "Leave the brat and go."

"And risk not gettin' paid?"

"Yes! What if the damn brat starts acting up? Messes around with her weird quirk?"

"She's a good kid, quiet, almost weirdly so." The hand holding mine moved, as if showing me off to those disapproving dark eyes that glared down at me. Like I was the problem rather than a damned victim. "He's gonna be here soon, get gone."

"This won't end well, Charlotte."

"Mel, go."

A heavy sigh heaved from red lips and clacking heels disappeared. I doubted she had gone far. Time passed, more bickering passed between my 'parents', and then finally another figure appeared, just as my small feet had begun to hurt. I wanted to go home. To cigarette burned curtains, mouldy sofas and damp carpets, but still, it was home.

A smile gleamed out of the gloom. "Morning. Is this the child?"

"Duh, where's the money?"

"I would need to see proof of her powers, first. Allow her to come to me, and we shall go from there."

"Huh? What kinda morons do you think we are? You'll just scarper!"

"Considering that between the three of us I am the only one not willing to have a child for drug money, I will proceed to claim the moral high ground. I have no reason to flee, I have plenty of money to hand over to you. Now, let me check that this is indeed the talented child you promised me." He kept smiling the whole time, an air of confidence wafting off of him. I didn't like him, not even in the memory. I clung to that clammy hand even tighter and whimpered when it tried to let go.

Alone, I was shoved forward, left to stumble towards the unknown figure, the unceasing grin.

Held in his arms it was warm at least, but then they started to walk away. My parents. The home I knew was fading. Even if I didn't really understand the idea of abandonment, my heart ached at the idea of being left. I reached. I cried. Why was I being left alone? This wasn't fair, this wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to go home. Home. Please. Take me home. Yell at me, sure. Ignore me, fine. Just don't walk away entirely. Please!

I reached.

All for One cooed into my ear. "Mm little one, you don't wish for them to go, do you? Why don't you stop them?"

I kept reaching. They had to stop moving, to stop leaving me, to stop whatever this was that was happening. Please. Please don't leave me alone! Stop! Stop!

And then something gave way. They shuddered, they slumped. They went still.

I think… I think they died.

"Good work little one." That dark voice chuckled in my ear, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I wailed in confusion, turning to that warmth and holding tight simply so I didn't lose grip on everything. Of course I didn't know what was happening, I didn't even know my own name. Had my 'parents' even given me one?

"Good work." He hummed and began to walk away. Then he paused. "Mm. Someone else is coming. Oh… Oh my. Perhaps something to work with later… Hang on little one, I need you to do one more thing today."

He set me down amongst the corpses. My small hands landed atop the broken body of my 'mother', and the other lay in a puddle of the blood of my 'father'. I looked up at the gleaming smile. He would return. I knew that without him saying it, like I knew nightmares would always come back, or sunshine was yellow. It would just always be that way.

I'd never escape.

In the alleyway I have no idea how long I was alone. I tried to call out to my parents, their blood, flesh and bones all around me in a tangled mess of horror.

"What the hell happened?" My Aunt screeched from the end of the alley. "What did you do?"

I looked up at her enraged face. White hair in disarray, tears streaking black mascara down her thin, pale face, red lipstick smeared as she snarled and tried to compose herself. She failed. She knelt, blood seeped into her tights. Her hand hovered over my 'mother', seemingly unable to quite accept that it was a corpse instead of her sister. I whimpered. Dark eyes landed on me. Dark eyes that looked just like mine.

"You little shit. You fucking murderer."

I wanted to retort as I watched on, I wanted to yell and cry and demand that my innocence be understood. But of course all that escaped was a confused warble. I reached for my Aunt. She had the same nose as my 'mother'. She seemed familiar at least.

She recoiled like someone had brandished a shit-soiled rag.

Steps approached.

She looked up and practically growled. "You. You're the reason for–"

"Whatever has happened?" Ignorance radiated from his voice. "I thought young miss Charlotte was meant to meet me. Oh… Oh my, something has gone very wrong here indeed."

"This thing was what they were selling to you, right? What you bargained for?"

"They offered to be part of my breeding programme, yes. I did nothing else though. You think the child did this?"

"What else? My sister could move tiny things, car keys at most. He was just a bit tougher than most, endurance or some shit. This rat is the only one who could have done this."

I began to shiver. The venom in her voice seeped into my ears and coiled around my heart. I had no idea what they were talking about anymore, but I got the jist. Hated. Loathed. I was vile. Vermin. Tears prickled my eyes. Rat. I'm just a rat.

The conversation cleared again.

The rage had slithered from her voice as she knelt and pinched my chin, forcing me to look up at her. "You. Little shit of a waste of air, you will never know me, but you will never escape me either. Your mind is my plaything, got it? Got it? You took my sister from me. I will take your past from you. Fuck you. Loathsome beast."

And she chucked me back into the bloodied muck.

A pointed shoe prodded my shoulder. "Do with her whatever you wish, call on me whenever you wish to have her played with and such. This thing is never to know happiness."

And then she clasped my head tight, nails digging in, tugging at me hair, ripping my memories out of my head like one might rip pages from a book.

"Fuck!" I wailed, flailing backwards into the present.

I stood in the arena, clasping my head as it throbbed and my throat felt like it was on fire from unvoiced screams. The pain from that alleyway, when she clasped my head and tore apart my memories like tissue paper, it swathed over me in the present. Dammit. Fire brimmed my mind, spilling into my eyes and nose, smothering me. What the hell? I tried to catch a breath. My power fluttered beneath my skin. Out. Let it out. Destroy. Dismantle. Blast it all away. I gulped at the air and tried to think. How demented was that woman? My Aunt? She was my Aunt and she had cast me aside. Anyone would be able to see that a child had no control over things, that whatever had happened had been a damned accident. But no. She had cast me aside, left me in the merciless hands of All for One. Her. She had done all of it. Everything had been because of her.

"Alex?"

I waved my hands for the three of them to stay away. My power broiled, no longer fluttering, it demanded an escape. As if it might tear right through my flesh. I shivered and winced as it kept trying to balloon outwards. Rage. Hatred. Regret. Guilt. They swirled, writhed and burned inside of me. My power pulsed and contorted. Why? I guess it wanted to make a shield. To protect me from these revelations and realisations. From the truth. Keep it away. I don't want it. I killed them. Definitely. No doubt about it. But since that day, perhaps since being born or even conceived, I had been a damn puppet. Stop it. No. Go away. Leave me alone. Leave this rat alone. Dammit no. You're not a rat. She was wrong. She was wrong! Shit. I guess I had known some of these details deep down, but to see it myself? It sickened me. It made the world seem so balanced on a knife edge. So easily, I could have been left to that world of shittery.

"Alex!"

I was on my knees, head in my hands, curled in a ball, trying to breathe without screaming on the exhale. Get a grip. Stop this. You're fine. You're not a rat. D-Dammit. The world bore down on me, just waiting for the chance to finish the job. And from the beginning All for One had been pulling the strings. He left me there to be blamed. He knew he could use my Aunt's powers later on, to keep me in control and others. Shit. It was all him. All her. Fuck. Fuck!

I screamed. My power pulsed out of me, pushing at the sand, reaching towards my Dad, Sho and Bakugo. They backed away, but I knew they wouldn't get far. I'd crush their bones like a damn eggshell beneath my boot. No. That isn't what I want. I love them, I cannot hurt them. This is my power, those strings are no longer tied to me. Fuck you All for One. Fuck you Aunty.

My voice continued to tear out of my throat as I looked ahead, towards an empty area where the large rock formations were still in place for training. Release it. Just focus and let it out in a controlled way. Do it. Turn your power into something you want, not something you're forced to endure. Now. I reached. An enormous boulder rose from the ground and spun slowly. I stood. My hair shifted against my skull, writhing with the ongoing radiation of my power. Rage, pain and confusion funnelled into that one point of focus. Crush. Crush. Smaller and smaller. Tighter and tighter. Keep going. You are the power here, you have the control. Keep going. This is your power, your life, your damn choices.

You are not a rat.

You are not their plaything.

Tears flowed down my cheeks. "S-Stupid bitch."

Me or my Aunt? B-Both?

Breathe…

Just breathe…

Gradually the frenzy slowed, the power stopped hammering against the inside of my skull. The boulder thunked against the sand. Denser, smaller, crushed by my power alone. Mine. Me. Beforehand it had been big enough to reach the ceiling, now it was about my height.

I swallowed hard and lowered my arms.

My power.

My life.

I am not a rat. I am Alex Aizawa. I am Stasis. I am fucking free.

"Alex?" Dad's voice was soft, careful.

"I'm good." I turned to them, knees wobbling but I stayed upright as I wore my weary smile. "I-I'm good."


So there we go, some memories are coming back into things, and we have had a fully realised recollection of the Great Alex Abandonment moment! A couple of folks have mentioned the fact I have a Western name in this otherwise Japanese named fic. For one thing, it's just kind of a habit laid over from when I was writing AOT fics (they all have western names basically lol), as well as the fact I am a Western novelist so it's more what pops into my head when I'm naming a character for myself - SO I figured it might be fun to build it into Alex's past that maybe her family moved her, and that's why she has a more typically Western name. It's not all that important, but hey ho, little fun fact for you guys!

Anyway, thanks for reading, following, faving and reviewing! I do love to hear from you folks! But anyway, see you in a month! Bye for now, see you Sept 10th! Have a good one!

SHOUTOUTS:

Vosck: Thanks so much for chiming in! Glad you enjoyed it! Plenty more to come ^_^

Zikashigaku: I love writing Alex verbally sparring with Bakugo haha, it's always such a treat to me. Aw thanks! Yeah there are times where I am like "am I going too far with the tweaks to Shouto?" But then I recall the fact he has had an entire other influence on him, and considering how much of a shift Izuku causes in the canon situation, I figure I'm doing all right. And I think he still has that Shouto essence to him, which I see as more important than anything else. Yeah I was going to have her just POOF back into herself, but then I realised that growing can be a really painful experience, and it just made more sense considering it was a villain using it. Yeah I wanted to show that it was intense without making it too... character torture porn type of thing lol. So I hope I managed that balance. Yeah the white haired lady has been kicking about for a long time, and now she has a name haha! MUhahahha just you wait, I have been LOVING those part of the manga, with Dabi and Hawks etc. and oh boy I have some ideas! I am seeing some leaks of further ahead stuff and it is intriguing to me, especially considering the thread of darkness and inner demons etc. I have had with Alex all along. Intriguing for sure! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, thanks again for still chiming in, I love seeing your reactions to things!