I was so exhausted I barely noticed the time passing until the distinctive sound of Chinook helicopters filled the air. It couldn't have been long, people were still hovering over Cobb and Jared was still pressing something against the long gash on my side. I could still feel blood dripping from it no matter the pressure being kept on it. Everything else I was feeling completely detached from. It hard to believe I was still alive. I was starting to run out of lives.

"You right for a few minutes?" Jared asked, breaking through the fog of my brain.

I nodded, shifting to a more comfortable position. There really wasn't one right now but not having my leg bent at an awkward angle was slightly better. I moved so I was holding the what I found to be someones shirt pressed to my side. I wasn't game to look at it quite yet. I could feel how big the wound was. It was going to leave one hell of a scar. Pressing the shirt against my side brought a few bout of pain. The pain was good. It was grounding. It gave me something to realise I was still here.

"Hey." Wilkerson's filthy face floated in front of mine, making me blink in surprise. Jared was only there a few seconds ago and the change was too abrupt for my exhausted mind to follow. "Let me have a look at that."

"It's a scratch." My brain was working enough to brush him off easily. "Worry about Cobb."

"Cobb's dead, Kari," Wilkerson said gently. He ignored my dismissal and started to gently peel the shirt away from my shaking hands. "I'd rather not see you bleed out here."

I looked over to where Cobb landed when we teleported back. He'd been alive the second before we got out of there. Now his body was still and one of the Alpha team guys was draping a sheet over him. I thought I'd saved him. As much as I hated him, I didn't want to see him dead either. I was so numb my body didn't react at all. The only thing I could do is sit there and stare at the lifeless body.

"You did everything you could," Wilkerson's voice reached through my mental fog. He gave my shoulder a small squeeze. "Come on, shirt off."

Wilkerson tugging on the bottom of the shirt to get it off sent me back to a place I hoped I could forget in a hurry. Instead of Wilkerson trying to get my shirt off, I was back in the room with Aldon. The fresh sting of pain was the only thing that stopped me from reacting.

"Don't."

The one word through gritted teeth made Wilkerson stop instantly. He had the good sense to back off and give me some much needed room. I took in a few deep breaths, each of them shuddering as they left my body. The pain was almost too much for me to bear as I struggled to get the now ruined tank top off. It was barely holding together anyway. The slice of the machete had even ruined the bottom of my sports bra. For once I was glad of my flat chest and that I didn't really need the bra anyway.

"Take your time." Wilkerson kept his distance, crouching down at my height. "The less you disturb it the better."

There was no way I was getting the shirt over my head without help. The sensible thing would be to let Wilkerson help me. Right now I couldn't bring myself to let anyone touch me. It was too raw what I'd done with Aldon. I didn't have anything left in me to freeze the sweat soaked material either. I was going to have to struggle on my own. I barely managed to get it untucked from my pants before Jared reappeared, scowling at Wilkerson.

"You couldn't fucking help?" Jared snarled at Wilkerson, bending down as he yanked the shirt off over my head in one swift movement. It was so quick I barely noticed it. "Your boyfriend isn't that insecure he'd care about you touching a girl."

That made me laugh weakly. It made everything on my body ache so it was short lived. I'd met Wilkerson's boyfriend who was a very big, beefy guy who worked for the Secret Service. I doubted either Wilkerson or his boyfriend knew the meaning of the word insecure. Then again, most of the guys in STRIKE who were gay had boyfriends who didn't fit the average stereotype of gay men.

"She didn't want me to touch her," Wilkerson snapped back, not taking any shit from Jared. "Since you're here, you can fucking help."

Jared shot a questioning look at me. The anger dropping from his posture immediately and he looked worried. Instead of meeting his worried gaze, I looked down to the mess of my body. The machete had sliced me from my right hip and thanks to me twisting to avoid it, it curved all the way up my side and ended on my back at my last rib. The gaping wound was an inch wide and I could see muscle. I was lucky I'd avoided it. If I hadn't, the machete would have gone straight through my body. The motion of Jared yanking my shirt off disturbed the wound and it started to bleed freely again. It wasn't gushing blood but with the length of the wound, it was making quite the mess.

"Fuck it, let's get it bandaged up and get her on the Chinook. I can't deal with that here." Wilkerson didn't bother to ask for my opinion. "Take this."

Jared took the offered dressing and started to stick them over the wound. The Celox on the dressing made it burn with enough intensity to bring tears to my eyes. The good thing was, I was in too much pain to argue about it. I felt like a mummy by the time they wound me up in bandages.

"We've got guys coming in to help move the wounded," Jared told me as he finished taping down the last bandage. Wilkerson moved out of the way, seemingly knowing he wasn't going to be involved in this conversation. "Barton has been rocky again so you're going to go with him to keep him settled, okay?"

I could see through the facade right away. This was so I wouldn't argue about being on the first one out. I don't think I had to strength to argue with him anyway. I nodded my consent as I picked up my discarded tank top. As much as it was ruined, it gave me some kind of modesty instead of sitting here in a bra and torso full of bandages. Jared helped me ease the shirt back over my head and down over my body.

Jared got to his feet and offered me his hand.

"I honestly don't think I can get up," I said tiredly. Every fiber of my being ached. I had used every last bit of energy I had in me on the last mad dash for my life. I had no idea what the time was but I'm pretty sure I'd been awake for over 24 hours now, possibly longer. Time didn't feel relevant anymore. Maybe sleeping in the Quinjet would have been a really good idea.

"Sure you can," Jared said smoothly. He bent down beside me and grabbed both of my arms, locking his hands around my wrists. "On the count of three."

I braced myself and let Jared haul me up as soon as he got to three. My back protested at the movement. My legs shook nearly uncontrollably as I felt myself pitch forward. Jared was right there in front of me to keep me steady and on two feet.

"I've got you." Jared's easy facade cracked as I collapsed into his waiting arms. Jared hugged me as tightly as my broken body would allow. I didn't have the energy to raise my arms and hug him back. It was good to have his support though. "Can I put this towards my payback for Pripyat?"

A breathless chuckle escaped me as I shook my head. Jared grinned in response and tightened his hold on me.

"Come on."

I was too tired to protest at the teleport I knew was coming. I closed my eyes and didn't fight it. Unlike before, this one was perfectly smooth. One moment we were in the house and the next out in the open space. I still felt sweaty so the cold air was making it even worse. The noise of the Chinook's were deafening out here. Two armed men were standing at the door but otherwise, there was no one else. They were in fatigues instead of SHIELD uniforms.

"This is a black ops team called Cerberus," Jared raised his voice so he could be heard over the noise. "I've done work with them before. They were the closest to us and are going to fly us back to Camp Cooke."

I nodded tiredly, leaning more and more on Jared with every word he spoke. Jared treated me like I was made of glass as he helped me into the helicopter. I eased down into the seat and Jared pulled his jacket off and zipped me up in it. He then buckled me in, making me feel like a small child. I wanted to protest but there was nothing left in me for anything. Once he was done, Jared sat next to me and took my uninjured hand in his.

Neither of us spoke. Men soon appeared with stretcher bearing the wounded. Sam and Clint were among the first ones to arrive. It was amazing how efficient these guys were. We were full and ready to go in under five minutes. As soon as the last person as in, Jared got up and gave my hand another squeeze.

"I'll meet you back there, okay? But if you need me I'll come straight to you."

I nodded again. There wasn't anything else to say. Jared was going to be helping tie up all the loose ends. This was going to be a clusterfuck and a half to sort out. There were so many questions that needed to be answered. Now that Aldon and the majority of his army were dead, there wasn't going to be anyone to answer them. Jared was gone the next second. As soon as he was gone, one of the Cerberus men sat in his seat, shooting me a smile.

For the first time in hours, there was nothing for me to do. Jared had strapped me tightly and I doubted my still shaking hands would be able to handle the buckles right now. I was so bone tired that my fear of flying hadn't made an appearance yet. I sat back as far as I could, closing my eyes while the Chinook's engines rumbled to life. Something tapped me on the shoulder, making me reluctantly open my stinging eyes. It was the guy next to me, tapping my shoulder with a set of headphones. I took them from him, putting them over my ears. I was still half deaf from shooting all day with no hearing protection so the noise of the Chinook wasn't bothering me. That probably wasn't a great thing. The headphones crackled to life in my ears.

"If you need anything, I'm Lieutenant Russo and that's Lieutenant Castle," Russo pointed to a guy directly across from me who gave me a friendly wave. "Agent?"

"Lyngley." Even talking was exhausting. "Kari, the better looking twin."

That earned me a round of laughter from the few men in the Chinook. I closed my eyes again, leaning my head back. Fuck me, everything hurt so badly now. I should have pestered Jared for some of the Percocet he'd given Evans earlier.

I barely noticed the Chinook taking off. The flight was nothing but a blur to me. I wasn't asleep, there was too much pain to allow me to properly nod off. Conversations drifted around me, nothing needing my participation so I tuned out. Despite Jared telling me I needed to be there with Clint, I wouldn't have known if anything had happened to him during the flight. My brain only started to work when we touched down with a thump.

It was odd landing at Camp Cooke and being more aware of what was going on around me. I barely remembered landing last time, I was so wrapped up in my own grief. We had a small horde of people waiting for us. I hung back as they got the critically injured off the Chinook first. It wasn't until they got to Clint stretcher did I finally make my move. I don't know how my fingers managed to unbuckle myself, but I was out and walking next to him with the medics. Deep down somewhere in the last of my reserves came a small spurt of energy.

"He's been unconscious since we crashed yesterday," I raised my voice to be heard over the noise of everything. "I didn't see what happened, I was unconscious as well."

I'm pretty sure I still had a big trail of blood down my face from where I hit my head. It was a minor inconvenience considering next to my other injuries right now. I didn't need a mirror to tell me I looked like a mess. I would happily give my soul for a hot bubble bath and a really big bottle of scotch right now. Besides a glance at me when I spoke, no one paid attention to me as we rushed along. Everyone was too busy taking observations on Clint, doing various techniques to try and get a response out of him. When he groaned and half stirred with a sternal rub, I'd never been relieved in my life. I reached over to grab his leg in a small show of support when chaos erupted.

Clint started to thrash against the people poking and prodding him. One of the medics wasn't quick enough to get out of the way and got punched in the face. I only narrowed avoided getting a fist in the face again as I rushed to his head.

"Clint." I ignored every ache and pain and vaulted onto the stretcher, pinning him down like I did before. I wasn't quick enough to get him pinned down entirely A fist came in contact with my injured side making me see stars. I could feel blood leaking through the dressing nearly instantly at the heavy contact. Every bit of breath was forced out of me but I pushed myself to concentrate. The cold of my power against his face worked before, I hoped it would again. I managed to get his face between my hands and a small layer of ice covering my palms.

Like before, Clint stilled against the freezing touch. I bent forward, touching my forehead against his trying to calm my racing heart down. Nothing else existed around us. All I could feel was the cold of my hands against his far too warm skin. I could feel Clint's own ragged breathing as he struggled against whatever nightmares he was fighting.

"Kari?"

Clint's voice surprised me so much I nearly fell off the stretcher. It was only one of the medics keeping me steady that saved me from a trip to the ground.

"Hi." I pulled back so Clint could see me, signing the simple word as I spoke.

His eyes were open and he was blinking rapidly. I'd never been so glad to see those sharp blue eyes open. As Clint's eyes focused, a flash of panic crossed his face and he struggled underneath me.

"EMP." It took me forever to sign the letters out, my own fuzzy memory making it harder than it should be. Clint blinked again, frowning heavily at me. It didn't last, only a few seconds later a spasm of pain crossed his face and he closed his eyes again. His hand tapped against my leg that was keeping him pinned down. I shifted it so he could move it as requested. His hand groped around, feeling for something. I quickly got the hint and grabbed his hand, lacing his fingers through mine. It was the right thing to do. His hand squeezed mine before going lax.

We'd stopped during Clint's violent explosion. Once he was calm again, the stretcher started moving. No one was telling me to get off, so I stayed there straddling Clint. I let my head fall in the crook of his shoulder and took in a few deep breaths as we moved along faster than before. It wasn't until we were deep into the building that an unfamiliar voice cut through my mostly silent thoughts.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but you'll need to get off now. We have to take him for an urgent CT scan."

I pushed myself up, nodding at the request. My legs decided not to work as I got off Clint, leaving me in a tangled mess on the ground. That instantly got the attention of the people gathered around Clint.

"I'm fine," I said, waving them off. "Sniper, stayed in the one position far too long. Legs don't want to work after being cramped up for 20 hours."

Natasha would have been proud of my easy lie. It satisfied the medical people in front of me and within seconds they were gone. I pushed myself up against the wall closest to me and let out a long shaking breath. It was a good thing Jared's jacket was black, I was about to ruin it with the blood soaking into it. My breath came in shorter pants as I tried to ease myself into a comfortable position. Not only was I bleeding, my back had finally decided to give up playing nice. The muscles that had been twitching had been easy to ignore. The full spasms running up and down my spine weren't so easy to ignore. I don't know how long I sat there, gritting my teeth trying to ride it out. I started to feel lightheaded not too long after my back started to spasm. There was no way I was getting back to my feet to try and find some part of the building seemed deserted so it wasn't hard to hear the approaching booted footsteps.

I opened my eyes as I felt someone crouch down next to me. Instead of it being a medic or doctor, the man was dressed in a flight suit. My hazy mind took a few seconds too long to place that it was Gareth crouching down next to me. I don't think I'd ever seen Gareth worried before. Right now, he looked on the verge of mild panic.

"Have you seen a doctor?" Gareth's voice was higher than normal. If I wasn't feeling ready to pass out, I might have laughed. As it was, I could only shake my head.

"Came in with Barton." I had to close my eyes again. The room was spinning. "He was knocked unconscious and he took priority. M'fine."

"Oh yeah, you look fucking awesome," Gareth's sarcasm did nothing to hide the worry in his voice. It did make my lips tug up into a small smile. "Stay here."

"Couldn't move if I tried." To prove my words, my back decided to spasm again. My entire body went rigid as the muscles contracted in ways they weren't meant to. I brought my hand up to my side in a vain attempt to try and keep the pressure on my wound. It only covered my hand with blood.

Everything started to blur together. I vaguely felt Jared teleporting in front of me. I could hear his voice but all the words were mixing together, leaving me with nothing but muffled sounds in my head. Someone must got help because the next thing I knew was there were hands on my body pulling the clothes away from my body.

That gave me a surge of adrenaline to fight against the wandering hands. It was Aldon all over again and my mind wouldn't let me have enough focus to fight him off. My limbs struggled to cooperate as I fought like a cornered tiger against the unwanted touch on my body. Then it all stopped. Everything went blank and I let myself fall into the blissful unawareness.

When I woke up again it took forever for my body to have the energy to open my eyes. I felt like I was in a haze. It was becoming an unfortunately familiar feeling. It wasn't unlike when I woke up from surgery after Pripyat. The only good thing about it that everything was blissfully numb. I was also desperately thirsty.

"Good morning."

It was Jared's voice. The sarcastically happy tone made me open my eyes, blinking up at the ceiling. With a lot of effort, I turned my head so I was facing the direction my twin's voice had come from. He was sitting in a hospital chair next to me. Wordlessly, he held a cup with a straw up to my lips.

"Slowly, otherwise you'll puke everywhere," Jared warned me. His face softened considerably as he looked me up and down. "How are you feeling?"

"High as a kite." I took the offered straw and sipped slowly. The cool water was better than anything I'd ever tasted. It was very awkward being flat on my back. At the moment I was too thirsty to care. Despite Jared's warning, I drank the cup dry in a few seconds.

"The amount of midazolam they pumped into you would even make me high," Jared said with a small chuckle. "Not to mention all the drugs you're on. Do you want to sit up?"

I nodded my consent. Jared took the bed controls and lifted me into a sitting position. My side tugged uncomfortably with the feel of stitches holding me together but everything else mercifully didn't ache. My left hand was bandaged and I could feel another bandage around the bullet graze on my thigh. I was still attached to an IV in one arm and the other had a blood transfusion running.

"Beyond a few thousand stitches and a cracked rib, you don't have any lasting damage," Jared answered my question before I could voice it. "You passed out from minor blood loss and dehydration, nothing sinister. You've only been out for a few hours. When you're a little more with it, I'll take you to Landstuhl. It's where Barton is being transferred to."

"How's Barton?" My mouth still felt dry and fuzzy.

"He fractured his skull and has some very minor bruising on his brain." Jared poured me another cup of water while he spoke. "Last time I saw him, he'd been awake on and off. He's confused and doesn't remember anything from the last week. There shouldn't be any lasting damage. Natasha and Coulson will only be an hour or so away from Landstuhl, Barton shouldn't be too far behind them either. I'd like to avoid Natasha as much as humanly possibly right now."

"Did you leave Natasha behind?" Even in my drug haze, I caught onto what Jared was saying right away. I had been too relieved to see Jared and then caught up with arguing about my plan to really think about why Natasha wasn't there. I had no doubt Jared would have to watch his back for the next few months if he'd left her behind on purpose.

"No, I simply didn't wait for Coulson to get permission for her to come with me," Jared said defensively. "There's a difference."

I could only chuckle wearily as I took another drink. Whatever drugs I was only made me feel very fuzzy. I knew I'd only have a few more minutes of coherent thought before I fell asleep again.

"Everyone else?"

Despite my lack of articulation, Jared knew exactly what I was talking about. I took a long drink of water while he started to talk.

"Sam has a shattered humerus and a lot of damage in his shoulder. The bullet that hit him did some ricocheting off the bone," Jared said with a visible flinch. "He was being prepped for surgery when I last heard, which was a few hours ago. He'll live, but with what damage, no one knows yet."

Poor Sam. I didn't have time to dwell on the news, Jared kept going with the news.

"Evans broke his ankle. He's hobbling around here snarling at anyone who comes too close. I threw a cell at him in the hopes Abby can calm him down a little," Jared continued. The mental image of that made me smile. "Tex has a torn rotator cuff, broken wrist and a lot of dislocated fingers. He wouldn't say much but its pretty clear someone did it to him."

Someone certainly had a sadistic streak. With Aldon's powers, there was no need to torture anyone for information. Judging by the men with him, I had little doubt Tex's injuries were done for someone's amusement and nothing else.

"Most of the guys I pulled out were pretty banged up," Jared halted in his explanation. The look on his face told me I wasn't going to like what he had to say next. "Marks didn't make it."

A lump formed in my throat as the news hit me. Like all of Bravo team, I got on with Marks well. More so because he and Andy lived in the house Riley brought. Marks and Andy were perfect tenants. Both of them joked about me being their kind and benevolent sugar mama for their rent being so cheap. I'd originally told them not to bother to pay anything, but they had both insisted to give me something for it. Even though I still hadn't seen the house, I knew it was a big house in a nice area. While STRIKE was well paid, neither of them would have been able to afford the rent on it in normal circumstances. The only problem they'd ever come to me with was needing the heating fixed when it broke down.

"He was the last one out because he was the least injured of everyone," Jared's voice dropped and he looked away from me. "Someone raised the alarm before I could get back for him. They waited until I got back and shot him in front of me. It's why I took so long to get to you. I was trying to save him."

Despite the lump in my throat, I had no tears. I was too physically and emotionally wrung out to feel much right now. I knew it wasn't healthy and when it all hit me later, it was going to be a mess. All I could do now is take Jared's hand in mine and give it a squeeze.

"Who else didn't make it?" I asked tiredly. I'd heard to KIA count while Evans was on the radio but I didn't know names.

"The other two pilots, Chase and Wagner," Jared began. Another pang hit me at one of those names. Wagner had been one of the pilots I'd had while on my flight instructor punishment. I knew they'd both died, the explosion wasn't survivable. I wasn't expecting it to be someone I knew. "Jones, Hinksy, Tucker, and Carlyle from Alpha team. Edwards and Glover from Bravo team."

I closed my eyes, feeling the grief hit me. So many people. I didn't know the Alpha guys that well but Glover and Edwards were well known to me. Glover and his wife had only had a baby a month ago. Edwards was going through a divorce but had two kids as well. There were going to be far too many funerals over the next few weeks.

"Try and get some more sleep." Jared gave my hand a squeeze before letting go. He took the cup out of my hand and laid me back down flat. "You really need it."

I was too tired to protest. Sleep sounded really good right now. I barely had time to form the last thought before I dropped off again.

I woke up again, feeling a little more coherent. It was still daylight and this time it wasn't Jared beside my bed. It was Gareth sitting in the chair on his phone. He hadn't noticed me awake yet, he was frowning at whatever he was reading on his phone.

"Hi," I said sleepily, making Gareth jump. He put down his phone and smiled over at me, the relief clear over his face.

"Hey yourself." Gareth was in his service uniform and looking good, even in my drugged up state. "How do you feel? Jared went to find some food."

"Like a truck hit me," I said honestly. I winced as I shifted into an upright position. The painkillers must have been wearing off. I could feel a lot more aches and pains this time. Gareth moved to support my slow journey upright. My side ached and every breath reminded me of how painful a fractured rib could be.

"You look better than I saw you last," Gareth's comment was meant to come off as lighthearted, but the haunted look on his face told me otherwise.

Gareth had just gotten an unfortunate glimpse into what my life could be like. It was one thing hearing I was injured. Seeing it first hand wouldn't have been easy for him. I couldn't dwell on it for much longer. I knew like the emotional crash of this mission, the talk I knew Gareth and I would end up having wasn't going to be fun.

"Any chance you can help me up?" I asked, gingerly swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "I think I finally got enough fluid into me."

I was busting for the toilet. Judging by the amount of empty IV bags in the bin next to me, it was little wonder I was now desperate to pee.

"How about I just carry you?" Gareth asked, looking cautious. As I looked at him closer, I could see a faint shadow of a bruise across his jaw. It would be an impressive mark when it finally came out fully. "If that's all right?"

"Sure, as long as I don't stink too much," I tried to keep the conversation light. Inwardly I was cringing at my freak out while I was half conscious. Rumlow had given me shit for months after I broke his nose when I was really rocky under my sedation after Pripyat. There wasn't going to be an easy way to explain this to Gareth about why I'd freaked out about someone touching me. I really hoped he wouldn't choose now as a time to push me about something.

Gareth relaxed at my easy acceptance. This time his smile was genuine as he gingerly scooped me up into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and settled against him. He was solid and comforting, both of what I really needed right now. He lifted me easily, no doubt from the extra time in the gym he'd been doing here in his downtime. In the little spare time I had before this mission, I'd been enjoying the view of him flexing those muscles for me.

"Sorry I punched you," I said quietly as he started to walk to the toilet. "It was a rough mission."

"You weren't really with it," Gareth brushed off my apology. He pressed a quick kiss on my forehead. "Though I am going to say one of the big, burly STRIKE guys did it so I don't get laughed at. You pack a wallop by the way."

I chuckled quietly, tightening my hold around Gareth's neck as he opened the bathroom door. As we got to the toilet, he gently eased me down close enough so I could grab the rail. My legs didn't want to bear any weight for a few horrible seconds as I straightened up. The stitches on my side felt tight and pulled uncomfortably at the small movement. Gareth was right behind me, keeping a steady grip on my arm as I got my balance. It was a good thing Gareth had seen me naked plenty of times. In the hospital gown, I was certainly giving him a good view of my bare ass hanging out. I was grateful when I finally had the coordination to collapse onto the toilet. Gareth hovered for a moment, looking out of place whether he should stay or not.

"I'll yell out if I need help," I reassured him before he could ask. "If you don't hear from me in five minutes, maybe come back in just in case I passed out."

Gareth looked worried again at the mention of me passing out. He took it in his stride, giving me a small nod.

"I'll wait at the door," Gareth said as he turned around and let me alone.

Even peeing hurt. My back pain made itself known again as I sat there trying to get in a comfortable position. I felt a hundred years old as I pulled myself upright again and hobbled over to the sink. For the first time, I got a look at myself in the mirror. Someone had cleaned me up while I was unconscious, except for my hair. That still had layers of grime and blood through it. My face looked drawn and bright red from sunburn. My lips were dry and cracked, my own jaw was bruised from Clint punching me. It was going to leave a big black bruise. The hospital gown was baggy enough that I could pull it away to see the fist-sized bruise in the crook of my shoulder from the CheyTac. The bruise was going to spread and give me all different colors as it healed. There was a distinct bruising from the Quinjet harness starting to appear. We would have hit the ground with some force and some bruising from it was a small price to pay. I was a mess. At least I was still alive. It felt good to splash some cold water on my sunburnt face. I was feeling a little more human after patting my face dry.

Hobbling to the door wasn't quite as hard as I thought it would be. The walking seemed to be helping to loosen up my tight muscles. As promised, Gareth was waiting for me on the other side of the door.

"Jared wants to know if you want food," Gareth asked, holding his phone up to show me the text.

"Please and clothes." At the mention of food, I was surprisingly hungry. "I don't want my bare ass hanging out."

"I'm not complaining," Gareth said cheekily. "Need a lift back to bed?"

"No, I'll walk." To prove my point I started to limp slowly back towards the bed. Gareth stayed behind me until I was sitting on the edge of the bed. Gareth pulled the chair across so he was sitting in front of me looking unsure of himself. "See? Totally got it."

That got him to smile. Gareth reached up and took my uninjured hand in his. The silence stretched out to the point it almost became uncomfortable.

"I honestly have no idea what to say to you right now," Gareth said quietly. His eyes went down my legs, no doubt taking stock of the many bruises I knew I had. "Asking if you're all right is a really stupid question. But I'm here if you want me."

Gareth always made things easier. I knew if I told him I wanted to be alone right now, he'd back off and give me as much space as I wanted. Him saying me wanting him instead of needing sounded like it was carefully chosen. Gareth never implied I needed him for anything and it was always my choice of what I wanted. Space and alone time were probably going to be my worst enemies right now. Both would give me far too much time to think and dwell on everything.

"Just stay." I squeezed his hands. "I don't even know what I want right now. Nothing has processed yet."

Gareth relaxed, giving my hand the softest squeeze. Looking down at the back of my hand, I could see why he was being so tender. They were sunburnt and I had no skin left on my knuckles. I don't even remember how I'd lost the skin. My left hand probably looked the same under the layers of bandages. Gareth's phone buzzed on the table next to us, making both of us jump.

"I'm about to be buried in debriefs for the day," Gareth said looking over at his phone with a sigh. "I can't put them off any longer."

That gave me an answer to if Gareth was one of the pilots doing the air strike. He must have had to call in some very big favors to put his debriefs off for this long. I suppose finding me in a pool of my own blood would have been a good excuse. The OIC here at Camp Cooke was still the same one as when I was over here. The OIC and I had gotten on well so that wouldn't have hurt for things working in Gareth's favor.

"I'm off to Landstuhl as soon as I get cleared from here." When that would be was anyone's guess. If I wasn't feeling so emotionally drained, I'd be disappointed at the short amount of time I got to spend with Gareth. "I'll see if I can find you before I go."

"Same room as always for the debrief." Gareth stood up and pressed a kiss on my forehead. "If you can't, give me a call when you have five minutes spare."

The feel of Gareth's lips against my forehead stirred something in the emotional blackout I was feeling. I wanted more and I wanted to be in control of the situation this time. I caught Gareth by the front of his shirt before he could pull away too far. Before I could overthink it, I pressed my lips to his. Gareth didn't hesitate in his response, he kissed me back. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. Everything about Gareth right now was reassuring. The feel of his lips on mine. The small amount of stubble I could feel from him not shaving this morning. The heady rush of the blood through my body at Gareth's hands coming down onto my bare legs. The familiar feel of the very specific callous you'd get as a pilot against my smooth skin. Beyond his hands coming to rest on my thighs, he didn't move any further. I was in full control and it felt good.

"Ahem."

The over exaggerated clearing of a throat made Gareth and I jump apart. I didn't have to look back to know it was Jared. I gave him the finger for interrupting the start of our make-out session.

"That's not very nice Kari." A voice that was definitely not Jared made me want to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. It was Mom.

To his credit, Gareth didn't flinch at the sudden appearance of my Mom. He stood back as Mom came over to my side of the bed. This was about to make him very late to his debrief. He couldn't disappear now without appearing really rude.

"Please don't hug me, I hurt everywhere," I said quickly before Mom could wrap me in a fierce hug. She stopped herself mid-stride and put her hands on my shoulders instead. I thought she would have been worried to death but all I could see in her expression was pride. She reached up and pushed some of my stray hair behind my ear.

"You hair needs a wash," Mom said with a smile. "Are you going to introduce me?"

I knew I wouldn't get off that easily. I gave Mom a pained look, hoping she'd take pity on me and not make this anymore embarrassing than this already was.

"Gareth Hughes." Gareth stepped up before I could say anything, offering his hand. "You must be Linda."

Behind me, I could hear Jared trying to contain his laughter. I was going to punch him in the head l for this as soon as I could lift my arms without them hurting. He'd completely set me up for embarrassment here.

"Pleasure to finally meet you Gareth," Mom said smoothly, shaking his offered hand. "Sorry for the interruption, I didn't realize Kari had company."

I didn't miss the knowing look Mom shot at Jared over my shoulder. The muffled laughter from behind me instantly stopped. Sucked in Jared. Mom was going to take my side on this.

"It's fine," Gareth said with an easy smile. "I do have to get going for my long boring day of debriefing 's though. It was nice to meet you as well Linda."

Gareth stepped forward and placed a brief kiss on my forehead again.

"Have fun," I said with a wrinkled nose. Real mission debriefs could be painfully boring at the best of times. "I'll let you know what's happening."

"Talk to you later."

Gareth turned and left the room. There was a brief scuffle behind me that I was too sore to turn around and see. No doubt Jared being an asshole to Gareth, simply because he could. The door clicked shut quietly a few seconds after the scuffle.

"You do enjoy a handsome man in uniform, don't you?" Mom teased me gently as soon as the door was shut. The humor fell away from her face quickly as she looked at me. "Has anyone been in to see you since you woke up?"

"No, I think I scared all the doctors away." I shifted my position with a wince. "I could really do with some more drugs though."

"I'll go get someone," Jared's voice came from behind me. Something got placed on the bed next to me. "Clothes and food."

Whatever Jared had in the bag smelled really good. It was enough temptation to make me peek in the food bag first. It was pasta with a creamy looking sauce and something else that smelt like fresh bread and garlic. I was torn between wanting clean clothes and food. I thought my stomach would have been a knot of stress. But the smell of the pasta made my stomach growl.

"Do you want help in getting dressed?" Mom asked as I sat there trying to decide what to do. The need to not have my ass hanging out of a hospital gown and into my own clothes won over my desire for food.

The stubborn part of me was ready to refuse the offer of help right away. But the uncomfortable pull of stitches on my side at the small movement of opening the bag was enough to change my mind. I was in no state to try and do a simple task for myself.

"Yes, please," I said, trying not to let my frustration show. It was Pripyat all over again with not being able to do simple tasks for myself.

Mom was quiet as she stood up and pulled my clothes out. Jared had done well to bring the most comfortable sweatpants I owned along with one of my favorite t-shirts. As weird as it was that my brother packed my underwear, he'd gone for everything that looked comfortable. The last thing Mom pulled out was one of Riley's hoodies. I looked at the well-worn sweater feeling something start to nag at me. Something that was going to involve a lot of emotions I wasn't ready for right now.

"Here." Mom broke through my thoughts as she picked up the t-shirt. "Let's get you changed."

Mom helped me out of the hospital gown and I got a good look at machete gash on my side. It was red and irritated, some of the edges were already purple from bruising. The blue stitches were a stark constant on my pale skin. Whoever had sewn me back together had done a neat job of it at least. It was still going to be a huge scar. Besides the gash, I was covered in multiple bruises all over my torso. Along with the bruise from the CheyTac, there was bruising coming out from the harness in the Quinjet. The thick lines ran from my shoulders and down my chest.

It was an awkward struggle getting my t-shirt on. There was no point trying for a bra with the amount of bruising I had on my shoulders and chest. At least the sweatpants were easier. The bullet graze on my thigh, while heavily bandaged, wasn't impeding my movement too much. Mom was right, as always, I felt human again after getting into my own clothes. I picked up the container of pasta, greedily inhaling the amazing smell of it. My stomach growled more persistently this time, making me pick up the fork as dig into it. I didn't miss the relieved look crossing Mom's face as I started to eat. It was one less thing she'd have to argue with me about.

"Where's Dad?" I asked around a mouthful of food.

"The cleanup crew found some advanced technology that survived the air strike," Mom explained, leaning back in her chair. "He's analyzing it now but he promised he'd be here in a second if you wanted him to be."

I shook my head at the offer. I'd like to know how a man of Aldon's means managed to find an EMP strong enough to drop a Quinjet out of the sky. Dad was one of the brightest minds in SHIELD. If he couldn't work it out, there's little chance anyone else could either.

"Coulson and Natasha are with Barton," Mom kept talking while I ate. "I spoke to Coulson just before I walked in here. Barton has been awake a bit more now. He still doesn't remember anything from the last week. The doctors are doubtful he'll regain the memory either. He knocked his head very hard, he's lucky he doesn't have any permanent damage."

I stopped mid-chew as the guilt hit me. The amount of jostling I had to do to get Clint to safety probably didn't help him. I could have caused a lot of damage.

"Kari, don't." Mom stopped that train of thought instantly. "You saved his life. He'll have a headache for a few weeks but I'm sure he prefers that instead of the alternative. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You saved a lot of people's lives."

Not everyone. There were a lot of agents going home in body bags to grieving families. The rational part of my mind knew I couldn't save everyone. It didn't stop me from wanting to save everyone though. I'd been the person grieving for losing a loved one from a mission and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

"Hey," Mom's voice pulled my attention back to reality. She was looking at me with worry all over her face. "I know it sucks right now. But think of it this way, there are going to be two little people who are very happy to see their Dad. You never know, it may even help with the other thing going on in Clint's life."

The thought of Cooper and Lila's excited faces when they got to see Clint again softened the crippling guilt. Maybe Mom was right, this may even help Laura and Clint reconnect and sort that out.

"Last time I saw Evans, he was sitting on the floor Skyping with Alexi and William," Mom continued, smiling softly. "Alexi wasn't interested in seeing her Dad, she wanted you instead."

I could see Alexi's demanding pout right now when she realized I wasn't calling her. She'd be stomping her little feet and demanding to know where I was. Evans would roll with it with his never-ending patience and love for his daughter. He'd just be happy to see his family.

"Sam's family were on their way to Germany last I heard, grateful that you saved his life. There are a lot of agents out there that over the last few hours have been able to call their families. It may not be everyone that went on that mission but the survival rate was a lot higher than it would have been without you."

Mom was right, deep down I knew that. I didn't have the energy to argue with her right now about the guilt that was nagging at me. I stayed quiet and went back to eating my pasta.

"I'm grateful my daughter is still here too," Mom added quietly when I didn't speak. She reached over and gave my calf a small squeeze. "I'm so proud of the strong young lady she is. Even if she doesn't see that right now."

I could see it clearly all over her face too. Mom had always been proud of my achievements, no matter what I was doing. This was something else though. I couldn't begin to process the sheer emotional weight of it right now. Instead, I put my pasta down and reached over to give Mom a hug. It was awkward at the height I was on the bed. Mom wasn't quite sure where to put her arms either. This is was what I needed right now. A hug from my Mom.

"This is going to be hard, isn't it?" I said, closing my eyes and enjoying the hug.

"Very." Mom's honesty was appreciated. "However, I'm here for you. So is everyone else. You aren't alone."

The door opening interrupted our moment together. It was Jared back with the doctor.

I kept eating while the doctor gave over my drugs along with the usual instructions that came with them. I felt like I was becoming an old hand at all of this now. Don't drink on painkillers. Actually, finish your antibiotics and don't skip doses, something I always forgot about. The usual spiel about making sure I kept on top of my pain management and not let it spiral out of control before taking drugs. Mom sitting next to me kept my eye-rolling to a minimum as the doctor lectured me. Apparently, this certain doctor was used to dealing with macho military types. He wasn't letting me get a word in to argue about my forced downtime and made me repeat the instructions back to him to make sure I was listening.

By the time the doctor was done, I'd finished my pasta and was feeling a lot better with some food in my stomach. I threw back the small arsenal of pills that I'd been given so Mom did't start lecturing me about it.

"Ready to go?" Jared asked the second I put the empty container aside.

I snuck a look at the clock. It hadn't been that long since Gareth had left. If I went to his debrief, I'd probably cause a commotion and interrupt something important. As much as I wanted to see him again, I'd have to deal with ringing him later. Gareth would be back in six weeks anyway.

"Let's go."

As much as I hated teleporting with Jared, it was times like this it was incredibly handy. As soon as I got to my feet, Jared took my hand and we were gone. A second later, I was standing in a familiar looking hospital room. Clint was sitting up in the bed looking pale but awake. Natasha was sitting beside him looking unhappy about something. They both jumped at our sudden appearance. Natasha was on her feet half a second later, crossing the distance between us in a few long strides. She pulled me into a crushing hug as soon as I was in arms reach.

"Now you can never, ever doubt you belong with us." Natasha sounded suspiciously choked up as she hugged me hard.

Broken ribs and aching side were long forgotten as I hugged her back. Beyond the nagging guilt I'd been feeling, I finally started to have another emotion creep in.

Happiness at being with the most important people in the world to me. Alive and in one piece.

Authors Note

Thank you so much everyone for your reviews and support over the last few chapters. It has really blown my mind. Not only for the story, but for other things going on in my life too.

This brings us to us to the end of this little part of Kari's arc and now we're on the steady march towards the Avengers. I can't promise it'll happen in a certain amount of chapters, but it'll definitely happen before we hit 100. There's still a lot to happen before we get there which I'm excited and nervous about.

Until next time.