Memory
The cold needles slid into his veins, sending fire raging through him. And he was there, hovering, watching, muttering things to himself.
He tried to grab the man, filled with the desire to do unspeakable things to him, but he couldn't move. It was like he was held in place by invisible bonds. He fought against them, but only succeeded in exhausting himself.
Hojo laughed, a sound that had the effect of fingernails on a chalkboard, and in the next instant he was holding a soldering iron.
Sephiroth felt it against his arm and bit back a cry of pain as his skin melted beneath it like the metal it was intended for.
And he did it again, and again, and again…
Sephiroth snapped awake, his arms burning as if the dream had been real.
"Hey, you alright?"
Zack's voice awakened him fully and he turned to see Zack glance at him from the driver's side of the Shinra car.
He was sweating, shaky, and he felt ill.
"Not especially, no," he said, deciding on the truth, since Zack would see right through any other answer he tried to give.
Zack glanced at him again, surprise and concern on his face.
He pulled off the road into one of the secluded back parking lots that many of the buildings had, parked the car, and then turned to Sephiroth.
"What the hell were you dreaming about?"
Sephiroth looked out the window. "Incidents from my past."
"Like what?"
Sephiroth sighed. He wasn't likely to get out of explaining this, and, as much as he wished to keep his past secret, something made him want to tell Zack.
"When I was young, Hojo used to…injure me," Sephiroth said. "To test my healing capabilities, or so he claimed."
There was a look of horror on Zack's face. "You're fucking kidding me."
Sephiroth pulled up one of his sleeves and held his arm out to Zack. There were innumerable scars on the skin there, most only visible if you knew what you were looking for.
Zack looked down at it for a moment, then narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to fucking kill him."
Sephiroth pushed his sleeve back down. "That would accomplish nothing."
"But I'd enjoy it so very much," Zack said.
Sephiroth turned back to the window, leaving Zack to contemplate Hojo's demise in silence. He'd wanted to do the same thing so many times, but something had always stopped him. He, who had killed countless people who had done nothing to him, couldn't lift a finger against the one who had harmed him the most.
He knew he was afraid of the man, an emotion he cursed every time it arose, but also one he felt he could do nothing to stop. The fear was ingrained so deeply in him from a time before he could remember.
"Seph?"
Sephiroth looked back at him.
"I'm…"
Sephiroth shook his head. "Don't say it," he said, cutting Zack off. "Pity is something I will not tolerate."
Zack settled for placing a hand on Sephiroth's shoulder. Sephiroth accepted the gesture; there was something oddly comforting about his friend's touch and he'd long since stopped attempting to avoid it.
He gave Zack a small smile. Zack returned it and squeezed his shoulder before withdrawing his hand.
Zack put the car back in drive and within minutes they were again speeding down Sector 6's main street.
Sephiroth leaned his head against the edge of the door, closed his eyes, and tried to put the dream out of his mind. He wished he could forget that any of it had ever happened, and pretend that he was just like everyone else.
After a time, he looked over at Zack, who was absently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, glaring moodily at the red light they were stopped for.
Maybe forgetting wouldn't be so hard, after all.
