My life got insane for two and a half months after the demonstration. The F-35 official launch ate in every single spare second of my time. The pilots selected for it were training off the Helicarrier. We'd all fly in Monday morning and fly out again Friday night or Saturday morning, depending on how busy things were. Both Riley's anniversary and my birthday passed without much excitement or drama. I requested the day off for Riley's anniversary but was denied because we had a squad demonstration to practice for that I couldn't miss. Thankfully I spend the entire day in the air and I was too tired when I got backed to my cramped room to do little more than fall into bed and pass out instantly. At least for my birthday, somebody had found out and got me a cake.

I didn't personally see much of Maria Rambeau. I always noticed a dark figure, huddled in an old school flight jacket on the flight line for my every flight though. Despite the exhaustion and time away from home, I had the time of my life.

The only thorn in my side had been my relationship with Ben. He was struggling with me being away all the time and extremely busy at work himself. A lot of weekends he had to cancel plans because of work or I had to because I'd been delayed in getting back. I'd only seen him a handful of times for dinner or a movie on my weekends back. I was also trying to squeeze in as much time with everyone else as much as I could on my limited time. The good times were starting to outweigh the bad.

Right now, that was far from my mind though. I was cruising at 20,000 feet enjoying the peaceful moment. It was my last flight today and I was waiting to do the very last flyby past the Helicarrier. Three of my fellow pilots were nearby as well. I couldn't see them and it felt like I was the only person in the world up here.

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. This had been just what I needed to get my head on straight. I was too busy and exhausted at the end of the day to not sleep. My sessions with Andrew had been a regular occurrence on Skype. I'd been doing the same with Mom as well. It was all slowly helping to ease the horror of the last mission. I'd never forget it but I was coping better.

"Photon 1, 2, 3 and 4, you are cleared for your descent and flyby at 200 feet."

The voice on the radio startled me back into awareness. I was Photon 1 and leading the rest of the pilots. I needed to stop daydreaming. Though my team being called Photon wasn't a random occurrence. It had been Maria Rambeau's callsign when she was in the Air Force.

"Copy that tower," I quickly acknowledged the flight control. "Starting our descent. Photon 2, 3 and 4. Follow my lead."

I grinned to myself under the oxygen mask. I still couldn't quite believe I'd been given the lead position for this. I lazily rolled my F-35 to the side and felt the world fall away from me as I descended through the clouds. There really was nothing like this in the whole world. I was going to miss going back to the daily grind next week. But Natasha, Clint and Jared had all had missions without me while I was away, so I had no doubt I'd be kept busy there too.

As I hit 5000 feet, the other three pilots were in sight. I straightened up and pushed for more speed on the descent. I planned on breaking the sound barrier right as I passed the Helicarrier and I need plenty of time and space to do it.

"How are we looking boys?" I asked as I applied more throttle.

"Terrifying as usual." Photon 2, or his usual call sign Stubbs, asked. "But right behind you Knuckles."

His response made me grin wider. I'd gotten the reputation of being the one to push the limits in our training. Anything the guys could do, I outshone them by doing it better. It was a good feeling.

The ocean was coming up fast so I adjusted my trajectory. We were right on time, down to the second, for our fly past. I'd already done some crazy acrobatics in an earlier display and because of fuel consumption, everything had to be precise. I'd be landing on fumes so I didn't have any time to waste. As the water glistened 500 feet below me as I levelled out. The sheer exhilaration of flying at this speed so close to land made me grin like a crazy person. The sheer power beneath me was nothing I could describe. I only knew it was the best feeling in the world.

The Helicarrier started off as a mere speck in the distance. It quickly grew in size as I applied more throttle and increased my speed. I had one eye on my instruments and the other on everything else going around me. As we pulled closer, the other F-35's pulled into a tight knit formation. We had no room for error here. I had nothing to worry about though. We'd practised this a million times over the last few weeks. I could do this in my sleep by now.

We passed the Helicarrier perfectly. My airspeed hit the perfect mark and at exactly 737 miles per hour, we all broke the sound barrier. It didn't feel or look like much from inside the jet. There was only a distinct sound that you could dimly hear over the sound of everything else. From the outside, it would have looked spectacular.

A sudden wave of sadness hit me as I made my sweeping turn to head back to land. All this training for two months and now it had come to an end. I'd made some friends amongst the other pilots. All of them would be staying on and doing rotations on and off the Helicarrier. I'd be heading back to DC and back to my normal life. Like last time, it was hard to hang my helmet back up. Every day wasn't like this though and I knew that. Give it a month of being back to a full time pilot for normal every day occurrences and I'd be bored out of my mind. Despite the sadness, I was still happy to be heading home. I was meeting Ben tonight and I had a very nice surprise for him. Clint had been complaining about all the packages I was getting delivered while I was away. There was one in there specifically for Ben.

I came in and nailed my landing. The sudden jerk of the hook grabbing was something I'd never get used to. No matter how many times I'd done carrier landings now, they were still fairly terrifying. As I powered down, stairs were wheeled over to me and the flight deck crew were busy. I had to get a move on myself otherwise I'd miss my flight back. I gave my F-35 one last pat like it was a faithful steed and climbed out on jelly legs. I started my awkward walk back inside to get out of the wind and noise on the flight deck. I'd made it to the door before a raised voice got my attention.

"Hey, Knuckles!"

I turned to see Stubbs hobbling as I had just been, over towards me. I kept the door open for him as he caught up quickly.

"Thanks." Stubbs flashed me a smile.

I found myself returning that smile. We'd been lightly flirting with each other over the last two weeks. It was a bit of fun. It got lonely out here sometimes and he was the youngest pilot, next to me. It really didn't hurt that he was fit and good looking either.

"You're heading off right away?" Stubbs asked as we walked along the corridor together. It was barely big enough for both of us. It was always a joke amongst the pilots I was the best one to walk beside because I didn't take up much room.

"Yeah, sorry I can't stay for the celebrations." I was disappointed myself. If I missed the Quinjet doing a flight back with maintenance crew heading home for rotation, I'd be stuck here for another 24 hours. "I have plans at home that I can't miss."

Ben had finally got the hint that I wasn't shy and our texts back and forth over the last week had been increasingly hot. I really wanted to head home and play out some of those scenarios.

"That sucks," Stubbs gave me another flirty smile. "I was kind of hoping after a few drinks you'd show me that single room you keep bragging about. After all, you enjoyed teasing the rest of us who have to bunk together about it."

"Maybe next time." The words slipped out before I could stop them. The bad part was I didn't feel guilty at all about the little slip. "I'll even bring decent alcohol with me."

Stubbs looked very pleased with himself. If we all didn't already have each other numbers, I'm sure that would be his next question. But I had his and he had mine. It was a big Helicarrier and texting was the easiest way to find people. The Helicarrier had perfect Wifi making it easy to keep in touch with the outside world too.

"Until next time then."

We'd come to the locker room for the pilots. SHIELD had the foresight to put a women's one in and I was very grateful for it. Besides two Quinjet pilots, I'd had it to myself for my time here. Everything was swipe access for in and out so I'd left my packed bag in here ready to go.

It was very awkward in my full flight gear to reach over and hug Stubbs, but I did it anyway. He seemed surprised but hugged me back as best he could.

I didn't have time to draw this out. I let him go and went into my locker room. It didn't take me long to strip off my flight gear and as I got down to my flight suit, my STRIKE patch caught my eye. It made me smile seeing the yellow patch on my arm. I'm sure it had been Coulson's doing to get me a STRIKE patch to put under my pilot's one as well. As sad as I was to be leaving today, I knew where I belonged. I finished undressing, had a quick shower and got into my civilian clothes. Despite me not dawdling, I still had to jog to make sure I didn't miss my ride home. I was the last one there and I barely got up the ramp before the pilot was closing it. I quickly stowed my bag and strapped myself in.

The flight home wasn't completely awful. There were a few white knuckles moments for me when we hit some turbulence. I kept my headphones jammed firmly in my ears and concentrated on the music playing instead of my own insecurities. It got me through the flight without puking. I was the first one off the Quinjet and very happy to find Clint waiting for me.

"Honey I'm home," I announced with a laugh as Clint picked me up and swung me around. I held onto him tightly, hugging him hard. I didn't come back last weekend and the weekend before that he'd gone down to see Laura and the kids. After living together it felt like an eternity without seeing him.

"It's so good to see you." Clint hugged me hard when he put me down on the ground. "I missed you heaps."

People were giving us strange looks as they walked past us. I didn't care though. Half of SHIELD already thought we were fucking. This would probably feed into that rumour even more than usual.

"Come on and let's have a drink before you kick me out for the night." Clint wasn't wasting any time. As soon as he released me from the hug, he was pushing me along. "I'm going out with Sam and a few of the other Bravo boys later on so you have the apartment to yourself."

I hid my smile at that piece of news. Since I'd been away, Clint had somehow managed to get invited to the Bravo team things. He'd been my fill in, which had only barely satisfied Alexi, for the team barbecues and other social things they tended to do. I was very grateful for them to include Clint. He wasn't the most sociable person and it was a good thing to explain his little circle. Even if it was only for boys drinking nights.

"I'll drive and you can watch my collection of videos," I said, already pulling my phone out of my pocket. "I was amazing."

"You always are," Clint said with a proud grin as he took my phone off me.

The videos of my various training and the ones I got sent from today kept Clint amused while I drove home. He grinned the entire way as he flicked through the various videos of me being a daredevil.

"You have no idea how jealous I am," Clint finished as we walked out of the elevator in the apartment. handing my phone back to me. "I've been trying to get Coulson to let me do the fighter pilot school SHIELD is getting up and running. He keeps saying no."

"I'll start harassing him for you, we'll wear him down together," I said with a near identical grin to Clint's. "You'd have so much fun."

"I know, right?" Clint exasperation was clear as he threw his hands up. "You could teach me and it would be awesome. Hawkeye and Whiteout requesting a flypast…"

"Wait, what?" I interrupted Clint before he could get carried away with his Top Gun reference. "Are you sleeping with another pilot that I don't know about?"

Clint faltered for a moment. He'd been going to open the door and his hands paused at turning the key. I swore I could see the tips of his ears go red.

"Knuckles doesn't suit you," Clint mumbled, turning his attention back to opening the door. "I've always told you that you need a new callsign. I thought of you the other day when I saw some news about unseasonable blizzards and it is a total whiteout up in northern Canada. Beautiful to look at but so very deadly if you get caught in the wrong side of one."

It was my turn to feel a blush creep up my neck. It was one of those weird moments that it made me think of Moscow. I don't know why it did. Everything seemed changed since then and little comments like this made me feel odd. But in a good way.

"I like it," I declared with a smile, even though I was still blushing. "It's much better than the Pale Spider."

Clint finally got the door open. As it swung open he looked at me over his shoulder with a proud smile. I smiled even wider at seeing how pleased he was about it.

"Pale Spider would suit you better at the moment, you're all spindly again." The weird tone of the conversation was gone as Clint started to tease me. "Didn't they feed you on the Helicarrier?"

"Oh my god, shut the fuck up." I gave Clint a shove as we walked through the door. "I didn't have you and Natasha beating my ass every morning. No one would spar with me for some weird reason."

That weird reason was I put one of the guy's down on the mats in two moves. He was an engineer of some sort and I couldn't even remember his name. When he declared it was a fluke, I dislocated his wrist in one swift movement when he wanted to go again. No one bothered me after that.

I got distracted from Clint's no doubt smart ass reply by seeing the package I'd been waiting for on the kitchen island. I made a beeline for it, ripping it open eagerly. The expensive lace felt like heaven on my fingers. I smiled mischievously as I picked up the delicate fabric. The red and black lace thong was barely going to cover any of the essentials. That was the point of it. The bra that came with it wasn't going to do anything to give me. Not that it was a proper bra. The bralette was going to show off everything. It was the point of tonight though. Ben wouldn't be able to resist me answering the door in this.

"What is the point of these?" Clint snatched the thong out of my hand. "They don't cover anything and you have so much lingerie in the first place."

"The new Victoria Secret collection came out." I snatched them back. "I was bored one night so I shopped. It was lonely on the Helicarrier. Besides, you never seem to complain about those expensive silk boxers I got for you."

When I brought these, I also got Clint a pair of boxers and had them shipped separately. He sent me a photo telling me his balls appreciated the nice fabric very much.

"I need a few more pairs of them by the way," Clint said, laughing as he moved to the fridge. "Beer or scotch?"

"Scotch, straight up." I put my lacy new underwear back in the box. "Then I need to go de-forest and make myself look pretty for Ben."

Clint's back was turned to me but I noticed his posture stiffening when I mentioned Ben. Time hadn't made Clint warm up to him in the slightest. Even I had to admit the voice in my head saying this relationship wasn't going anywhere was starting to be louder. I really wanted sex tonight. I could deal with everything else later on.

"Where are you boys going?" I changed the subject before there was an argument about Ben.

"Only to JoJo's," Clint said, turning around to slide a glass of scotch to me. "Happy hour starts at 4pm. It's $2 jug night."

"If you get drunk, make sure you go to Sam's so you can hold each other's hair while you puke," I joked, taking a sip. "Maybe Rebecca will even braid it for you."

"You're so funny," Clint did nothing to hide the sarcasm in his voice. "I'm sure Rebecca would be more interested braiding your hair."

I laughed while taking another drink. Rebecca had moved in with Sam a month ago. They were still disgustingly adorable together. I was dying for Sam to propose, though we were all still waiting for Andy to pull his finger out of his ass and propose to his girlfriend first.

My drink went down too quickly and I left Clint to his own devices while I went to shower. The showers on the Helicarrier had a two minute limit. It was glorious to soak under the hot spray for as long as I wanted. By the time I was shaved, moisturised and my hair dried, Clint was gone. I turned on some music and wiggled my hips around while I poured another drink. I pulled my new underwear set on where I'd left the box on the bench. I needed shoes to go with this.

I had plenty of time to spare so I drained my drink and poured another. The scotch was making me feel warm and confident. Wiggling my ass to the beat of SexyBack by Justin Timberlake, I went back into the bedroom to find some really impractical shoes for tonight. I found my extremely impractical 4 inch bright red Prada heels and gleefully strapped them on. A light dab of the perfume I discovered in Moscow and I'd loved so much and I was done. The scotch was going to my head quickly but I didn't care. I barely heard the sound of my phone over my loud music.

Tottering on my heels, I went back out into the living room. I'd left my phone on the kitchen island so I poured myself yet another drink before picking it up. I was expecting it to be Ben. Instead, it was a number I didn't know on the screen. Curious, I opened it.

Hey Kari, it's Tom. I know we don't know each other well but Sean said I should send you this. In advance, I am really, really sorry.

Sean was Wilkerson from Alpha Team. Tom was his partner who worked for the Secret Service. I'd met him a few times. It was so bizarre for him to be sending me a message. He must have got my number from Wilkerson.

Underneath the text was a picture. I enlarged it and didn't really process what I was seeing right away. I blinked a few times in disbelief as I realised what it was.

It was a picture of Ben, kissing another girl.

My throat tightened as I stared at the picture. It shouldn't have hurt as bad as it was right now. The picture on the screen went blurry as tears crept into my eyes.

I knew this relationship wasn't going anywhere. Deep down I'd known that for a while now. I had hoped there might have at least been a bit of fun in there though. Or at least Ben having the balls to tell me he was looking at other options. We could have just kept this casual. Instead of all the drama that dragged out for the last two and a half months. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and I hastily wiped it away. Ben was due here in 20 minutes. If I saw him face to face, I'd probably kill him.

Instead, I saved the picture and opened a message to Ben. Setting my jaw, I sent him the picture first. Then angrily typed out a message.

Don't bother showing up tonight. I am very good at making bodies disappear.

Then like the chicken shit I was sometimes, I promptly blocked his number.

I sat there staring at my phone. I half expected an answer even though I knew I'd blocked his number. I was angry, sad and relieved all rolled into one big bundle of emotions. I should really thank Tom for sending me the photo. He'd saved me a lot of heartache in the long run. Right now I couldn't bring myself to type out the message. Instead, I got to my feet and took the entire bottle of scotch out of the cupboard. Not bothering with the glass, I drank straight out of the bottle.

Why was I even upset about this? A few hours ago I had basically invited Stubbs back to my room for sex. I'd shamelessly had phone sex with Gareth a while ago when he sent me the cookie bouquet for Valentines Day. I wasn't entirely innocent either. But seeing the image of Ben kissing another girl hurt a lot more than it should have. I took another long drink out of the bottle to try and bury those pesky things called feelings. I should have just stayed on the Helicarrier and celebrated. At least Stubbs would have appreciated my sexy underwear. Now I only had myself to look at it.

Miserably, I flopped down on the couch with my bottle of scotch. I was horny and all alone right now. Gareth was half a world away and there were no flights back to the Helicarrier tonight. Jared was on a mission with Natasha. Again. I had no doubt they were fucking more than working. I was torn between being jealous and disgusted. I didn't need to know about my brother's sex life, but hearing about Natasha's wasn't anything new. In fact, it was our favourite form of gossip for a while. I could always call Clint back. Having him as a drinking buddy was always fun. Though it didn't solve my problem of wanting to get laid tonight. If I went out with the Bravo boys, it tended to scare any men away.

It was a good thing that I had brought some new sex toys while on my online shopping sprees. They were going to be my only comfort for a long time now. I took a few long drinks of scotch to help ease the ache of loneliness.

The problem with really good scotch was that it went straight to my head. A few swigs from the bottle and I was well on my way to feeling drunk. When a text came through on my phone it took a bit more coordination than I was feeling to reach over and get my phone off the table. Luckily for me, it was only Clint.

Can you let me know when the coast is clear? I forgot my card and I don't have a lot of cash on me.

Clint seriously needed to learn to adult. He was always forgetting something when he went out. I rolled my eyes and my fingers struggled to work, making me giggle as I typed a message back.

Ben isn't coming over. It's safe to come back anytime.

I gritted my teeth together as I felt another pang of sadness at admitting that to Clint. Not that he or anyone besides Natasha was going to be upset about Ben not being around anymore. A few seconds later, Clint's reply came back.

I'll be home in 5.

Unless Clint was going to run the entire way back, I highly doubted his timing. I took another drink and stared at my phone. Maybe Jared wouldn't be opposed to coming back and teleporting me to Hawaii. Then again, I had money. I could be on the next flight over. It was like a lightbulb going off in my head. I grinned to myself at the brilliance of the idea. I was halfway through squinting at the airline booking page when a loud knock on the door made me jump. For a horrible moment, I thought it was Ben.

"I forgot my keys as well." Clint's voice was muffled.

I relaxed and laughed to myself as I stood up on wobbly feet. The height of the heels were doing nothing for helping my lack of coordination tonight. Neither was the bottle of scotch in my hand. I took another drink before I wobbled to the door.

"You're fucking hopeless," I said, giggling as I pulled the door open.

"What happened to…" Clint trailed off, looking startled as he stared at me.

My brain took a moment to realise what he was staring at. I hadn't put anything on over the top of my skimpy lingerie. Everything was out on show.

"You seriously need to learn to adult." I turned on my heel to cover my embarrassment. It's not like Clint hadn't seen it all before. I only made it two steps before Clint grabbed my wrist.

The motion was enough to stop me and before my brain could process what was happening. I was pushed up against the wall. Clint was only an inch away from me, his body pressed against mine. The look he was giving me reminded me far too much of Moscow.

It was also the look that had seriously turned me on back then. Right now that heated expression and being close enough to kiss was making every shred of common sense disappear from my mind. Clint was wearing the same cologne he had on that night in Moscow. The combination of the scotch and my horniness was making all of my common sense fly out the window.

Before I could ask what he was doing, Clint lent forward and kissed me.

My surprise was quickly drowned out by how hot the kiss was. I responded eagerly, pushing my body up against his. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer as our tongues met.

This was so wrong. But it felt so fucking amazing. I hooked one leg around Clint, trying to get him as close as possible while we kissed. The friction of his clothes against my body felt infuriating and amazing all at once. Even through his jeans, I could feel Clint's reaction to us kissing.

Clint broke the kiss first, only to work his way down my neck. I shamelessly moaned as his stubble rubbed my skin and his teeth found a tender point. Clint's hands were on my bra, fumbling with the clasp at the back.

I took the opportunity to start yanking at the buttons on his shirt. A few of them popped off in my impatience and as Clint got my bra undone, I had his shirt undone and pushing it off his shoulders as he threw my bra over his shoulder. My giggles were smothered by Clint kissing me again. We barely had the coordination to not knock heads as we kissed again. Clint's teeth caught my lip in a gentle nip before his lips were on mine. It sent shivers down my body. Every logical part of my brain had shut off and right now I wanted nothing more than to Clint to fuck me up against this wall. My hand went to his belt and I managed to get it undone. Clint took the hint and between kissing me, managed to kick his shoes off. With nimble fingers, I had his pants undone and them in a puddle on the floor along with his boxers.

Clint made short work of pulling the flimsy thong down, I managed to step out of it and kick it aside without breaking from the kiss. Skin to skin made everything more electrifying. My body was on fire. I was a turned on hot mess from just Clint kissing me. Now he was running his hands over my ass and legs, shamelessly groping me.

"Clint, fuck me. Now."

The words slipped out without any conscious thought from me.

I could feel Clint grin against my lips. His hands went under my ass and with a squeak of surprise, I was lifted up and pinned against the wall. My legs automatically went around Clint for balance. With coordination that would probably have been impossible while sober, Clint sank into me in one swift stroke.

My fingers dug into Clint's back as the sensation. Clint wasn't a small guy in the cock department and everything felt impossibly full. It was too much and not enough all at once. Clint buried his head into my shoulder, his teeth sinking into my skin as he began to thrust. He was the perfect height for the right angle.

I wasn't even sure of the noises I was making anymore. Every thrust hit the right spot and Clint set a fast pace. There was no slow, torturous climb for me to orgasm. It hit me hard and fast. It was one of the most intense orgasms I'd had in a very long time. I had no idea how Clint managed to hang onto me and keep fucking me at the same time. I was shaking by the time I came down from my high. Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire.

With something that sounded between a curse and a moan, Clint buried himself into me and came as well. He was shaking as hard as I was as he rode out his own orgasm. We both stayed there, breathing like we'd run a marathon. Clint paused long enough to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck a little tighter and kissed him back. Unlike before, this one was slow and tender. It made my legs go wobbly for an entirely different reason.

"Hold on," Clint murmured against my lips.

I shifted my legs and gripped around him as Clint moved. He gave me one more kiss before walking. I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I was the most relaxed I'd felt in months.

Clint moved through the apartment and into my room. I opened my eyes again as he laid me down on the bed.

"Hi," I said with a giggle as I looked up at him.

"Hi, yourself." Clint smiled back at me. "We made a mess. I'll be back in a second."

I didn't want him to go. I knew this was a terrible idea but I couldn't help myself. I wrapped my arms back around Clint's neck and pulled him down for another kiss. He ended up sprawled over me as we kissed again, laughing around the kisses.

This was insane. I could scarcely believe I was laying in my bed after just being fucked by Clint. What's more, with him kissing me, I really wanted another round. I hooked my leg around his and pulled him in closer, rubbing up against him. His body seemed to be keen on the idea of another round as well. He was half hard again.

"You are insatiable," Clint said, around our kisses. "Give me half a minute and I'll be back to give you the best orgasm of your life."

That was a promise I could let him get up for. Clint nearly tripped over his own feet getting out of bed in the speed he got up. Judging by his lack of coordination, he'd had a bit to drink as well. I stretched out as Clint left the room. I wasn't blind to the way he was watching me out of the corner of his eye the entire time. The playful smirk on his face hadn't diminished in the slightest. Once he left the room, I let myself bask in the afterglow of the hottest sex I'd had in a long time. I could have closed my eyes and easily drifted off to sleep. Clint was back in what felt like seconds with the forgotten bottle of scotch and a washcloth.

Clint took a swig out of the bottle, his eyes not leaving mine. I pushed myself up on my elbows and met him as he was leaning down to kiss me again. His mouth still tasted of the whiskey as I kissed him. Before I could deepen the kiss, Clint pulled away a fraction.

"Still tastes better on your lips," Clint murmured before leaning down and capturing my mouth again.

There was something about Clint's kisses that made my entire body feel like it was on fire. Combed with the scotch and every nerve ending still tingling from my previous orgasm, I was incredibly turned on right away. Clint pulled away far too quickly for my liking and before I could grumble about it, he nudged my legs open with his knee.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have an amazing body?" Clint asked, his voice low against my skin as he kissed down my neck.

"All the time, but I want to hear it from you," I said half jokingly.

"You have an amazing body and I'm going to explore every inch of it with my lips," Clint said, his voice husky despite the brief chuckle.

How could I get even more turned on by such a simple promise? This was madness and I was enjoying every second of it. I gasped and moaned as Clint kissed his way down my body. Unlike most guys, he didn't skimp on my breasts. His calloused fingers worked on the nipple that his mouth wasn't on, making me squirm underneath him. I barely noticed Clint using the washcloth to wipe away the sticky mess of our quick fuck up against the wall. It was only when his lips were trailing open mouthed kisses beneath my belly button did I have enough sense to form a sentence.

"You don't…." I started to say.

Clint cut my weak protest off quickly by his tongue dancing a teasing circle over my clit. The sudden contact had me falling back against the sheets. clutching at them as the tease quickly turned into Clint's tongue and mouth working over me.

"Fuck." The expletive was nothing more than a breathy gasp as Clint's fingers were suddenly inside me.

Like before, there was nothing slow about the build up for this orgasm. Clint seemed to know exactly how to get my body to respond as his tongue teased me and his fingers worked inside of me. I had no idea of the sounds I was making as I squirmed underneath him, every single nerve of my body was alight. The orgasm crashed into me hard. It was even more intense than the one from earlier. I think I even blacked out for a few seconds.

When I finally came back down to earth, Clint had his chin resting on my hip looking up at me with a very smug expression on his face.

"What?" I asked, still struggling to catch my breath. I felt like I'd run a marathon then backed it up with the worlds longest mission.

"Nothing at all," Clint said with a small chuckle. "Just enjoying the view."

I laughed as well, nudging him with shaky legs. He got the idea and moved back up my body. As soon as I could, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back down for another kiss.

This time it was sweeter and less demanding. Clint's hand came to rest on my head, threading his fingers through my hair gently. It was easy to get lost in the feel of everything. It was surprisingly tender. Especially with the impressive hard on Clint was sporting right now.

"What are we going to do about that?"

We were too close to each other for me to do little more than to raise a hip and rub against him. Clint's hips jerked against me, almost like it was involuntary.

"Whatever you want," Clint murmured against my lips, before kissing me again.

I had enough sense about me to know exactly what I wanted to do. I hooked my leg around Clint and in one swift movement, he was on his back and I was straddling him. I looked down at him, this time it was me with the smug smile. Clint looked impressed despite his surprise.

"Now what are you going to do while you're up there?" Clint teased, running his hands up the outside of my legs.

"Oh, I don't know." This was a fun game to play. I smiled sweetly down at Clint as I shifted my weight. I was now hovering directly above his cock. "I could just sit here all night, teasing you."

I purposely brushed up against Clint. The alcohol was making me feel bold. The sharp intake of breath and his fingers digging into my thighs gave me even more courage.

"Or I could, you know." I bent down and brushed my lips against Clint's, purposely not letting him deepen the kiss. "Do this."

I slid down on Clint's cock before he could say or react. His body jerked underneath me and I didn't miss the sharp inhale. Clint's hands came around to grip my ass, hard. His fingers digging into my flesh was going to leave a bruise in the morning. I rocked my hips agonisingly slow and bent down to kiss him again.

Clint could flip me over at any second and fuck me at any pace he wanted to. But he kissed me back and let me set the pace. It was maddening enough that I got bored with the slow and teasing very quickly. I moved quicker and got an eager response from Clint. I was lost in it all. My body was responding to the angle I was straddling Clint. Every movement was brushing up against me.

"Come with me?" Clint's voice was rough and breathless.

I could only nod at his request. I was still horny enough that it wouldn't take much effort at all to get off again. Clint's hand moved between us as he started to work my body. My pace quickened at his ministrations, me wanting more as I climbed into another orgasm. Just as the first edge of it hit me, Clint shuddered beneath me, his hips jerking uncontrollably. My orgasm wasn't as intense this time, but still enough that Clint had to hold onto me tightly as I rode it out.

Collapsing onto Clint, I was exhausted. My limbs felt like they were made of lead and there was no chance of me moving any time soon. Beneath me, Clint sounded as exhausted as me. His breathing was ragged and he made no move to shift except to wrap an arm around my back.

It was comfortable enough that I closed my eyes and dozed off, despite the early hour. I vaguely felt Clint moving me sometime later. As soon as I felt him pull me into his body, I was dead to the world again.

When I woke up, I had enough of a hangover that it was annoying. Cracking open an eye, sunlight was streaming through the window. I craned my head to look at the time. I was 11:10 am. Next, to me, Clint shifted in his sleep. I looked over at him to poke him awake like I normally did. Suddenly, everything from last night came back to me.

Holy fuck. What have we done? Now I was sober I was very aware of the consequences of what happened. I never, ever imagined this would happen between us. How could I have been so stupid to let myself get carried away like that?

Looking down at Clint was like a siren song right now. If I wasn't on the verge of having a mild panic attack over this I'd be cuddling back up to his naked body. He was completely passed out, deep in sleep. His face was the most relaxed I'd seen since our last mission. Then again, I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept this long or deep.

I couldn't stay here. It was too tempting. I had to get up. I winced as my head started to throb even more as I gingerly climbed out of bed. Clint briefly stirred but went straight back to sleep once I was out of bed. I grabbed a towel that had been left on the floor and went to the bathroom. I turned the shower on before sitting on the toilet. As I sat down, I winced at the movement of opening my legs. A quick inventory of my legs showed a collection of fingerprint sizes bruises on my thighs. Judging by how tender my ass was, I'm sure there were bruises on there too. The memory of what caused those bruises gave me some very mixed feelings. I was terrified. And turned on.

"Holy shit," I whispered to myself as my mild panic started turning into real panic. This was insane. I should not be getting turned on by this in the slightest.

Ignoring my traitorous body, I finished peeing and jumped into the shower. The hot water did little to ease my tension as I stared at the shower wall.

How was this all going to go down once Clint was awake? Would we laugh it off as a drunk mistake and never speak of it again? That thought should have made me relieved. It would have been the easiest course of action. It did something entirely different though. I was sad at the thought of not doing it again, or saying this was a mistake. It wasn't a mistake or one off thing. This had been brewing for a while now. I'd been ignoring it for months since Moscow, but things had changed since then. That night had gone beyond our mission banter. I'd catch myself thinking about it sometimes and mentally slap myself. Ben had been a decent distraction from that at least.

I signed and closed my eyes, leaning my forehand against the shower wall. What a fucking mess this was going to be. All because I had to get horny and sleep with my best friend. Coulson was going to kill us both.

The bathroom door opened and I didn't bother opening my eyes. I knew who it was.

"Kari?" Clint's voice was tentative. "Whatcha doing?"

"Having a mild panic attack," I said honestly. There was no point in denying it. "You?"

There was a long pause. So long I nearly looked up to get a read of this situation better.

"Having a mild panic attack as well," Clint said quietly.

This was it. This is where everything would fall apart.

"Can I join you in the shower and we can have our mild panic attack together?"

That got me to look up. Clint was standing outside the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked nervous but hopeful. A few butterflies danced in my stomach as I slowly nodded. Clint's entire posture relaxed as he dropped the towel and opened the shower door. I turned around to face him, trying not to let my eyes wander too far south. I didn't need the distraction right now and it was a decent sized distraction.

I could feel my cheeks go red at that thought. The twinges in my lower body reminded me of that very fact as I moved to face Clint. We stood there, separated by the falling water looking at each other. My mouth went dry as neither of us said anything and the seconds felt like they were stretching into hours.

Clint stepped forward and before I knew it, his arms came around me and he pulled me in for a kiss.

I melted into his touch. Everything felt right again as Clint kissed me. It was short and sweet, he pulled away far too quickly.

"We're idiots," Clint said with a breathless chuckle. He reached up and redirected the shower spray so we weren't getting a mouthful of water. "I was laying in bed trying to decide what to say to you. Everything I rehearsed in my head sounded stupid so I thought I'd come in here. If you threw something at me as soon as I opened the door, I figured it was a bad thing and I was going to get myself killed."

"Aren't you glad I didn't?" I laughed at Clint's honestly. He was probably laying there the second I closed the door trying to figure out what to do. Just like I had been standing here in the shower.

"Very." Clint lent forward and kissed me again.

This time it wasn't as short and sweet. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer as I kissed him back. Despite being sore, I could feel my body warming up to the idea of another round right here in the shower. This time I was sober and there weren't going to be any excuses later on. I knew exactly what I was doing. It might still be a really bad idea but right now I didn't care.

"I hate to be the girl here." Clint broke the kiss off before we could get too carried away. "But should we talk about this before I fuck you up against the wall again? I was going to cook breakfast and got distracted by the thought of you naked in the shower."

He was right. I didn't want to admit it but we did need to talk about this. I'd prefer to do it after we had sex against the wall again. Before would be a lot more sensible.

"Then go cook me breakfast," I said lightly. "Pancakes and bacon please."

Clint laughed as he released me. As he turned around I slapped his ass for good measure. It was rock hard and didn't even jiggle in the slightest. I couldn't help but admire it on his way out. Clint had an amazing body. Considering how good he was in bed last night, I was very surprised he never managed to get any of his one night stands to stick around for longer.

Not wanting to miss out on breakfast, I quickly finished in the shower and wrapped myself up in a robe I had hanging on the bathroom door. I could smell the bacon and freshly brewed coffee as soon as I opened the bathroom door. Clint had acquired a pair of boxers and was flipping pancakes. He had some music playing quietly in the background and was bopping along to it.

It was an adorable sight. It wasn't an uncommon sight on the weekends but today it felt more personal. I knew I was the cause of some of his good mood. I couldn't help myself. I went up behind him and hugged him, burying my face into his neck. Everything felt surreal right now. There was also a little bit of deja-vu along with it. Riley made pancakes after we first had sex too. It wasn't a train of thought I wanted to go down right now.

Clint stopped what he was doing to reach up and squeeze my arms. He dropped a kiss onto my arm as well.

"Coffee's ready if you want to pour a cup," Clint said, leaning back into my embrace.

Coffee was a good idea. So was some water and aspirin as well. I let go of Clint and went to rummage around in the cupboard for aspirin, only to find it already on the bench with a glass of water.

"Why do I have a feeling this is leading into you wanting a blow job later?" I teased Clint after I took the aspirin and gulped down the water.

"As much as I'd very much like to find out about legendary lack of gag reflex," Clint teased me straight back. "I'm not that stupid, thank you."

"Oh really?" I raised an eyebrow in surprise at his comment. I couldn't stop the smile that was playing on my lips. "So, no awkward conversation about us fumbling about being embarrassed about this only to fall on the couch an hour later, ripping each other's clothes off like a bad romance novel?"

"Well, the couch might still happen. Minus the cheesy romance and all that shit you and Natasha like to read," Clint said with a small laugh, turning to face me.

I pulled a face at him for the comment about my bad romance novels. I couldn't help myself. I loved them.

"I'm just going to say this and hope it comes out the right way," Clint suddenly looked nervous. "I'm not going to apologise and say it was a mistake. I'm not sorry and it wasn't a mistake and I'd really like this to keep happening."

"You may just get that blow job the way you're charming me," I said with a laugh myself. Poor Clint. He was speaking so fast and looked more nervous with every word. I wasn't sorry either. The thought of this continuing made me ridiculously happy. "I'd really like this to keep happening too."

The way Clint's entire face lit up with a smile made me have butterflies for an entirely different reason. This was crazy. We really shouldn't be doing it. But for some reason, it also felt right.

"Do you want breakfast first or can we fuck on the couch?" Clint asked with a grin.

"Couch of course." I didn't need any encouragement. I was already undoing my robe. "I'm on top so I can still drink my coffee."

Authors Note

I honestly haven't been this nervous about posting a chapter since Riley's death... I may have been procrastinating on the end of the chapter for that exact reason.

So here goes...