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I wrote this chapter on 'The white wolf' from The Witcher.

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1976

Sitting next to the lake in the most complete loneliness, Lena put her head into her hands. Never before had she felt so powerless, so helpless against the world.

She knew she was privileged. Money had never been an issue. She always had the best robes, good tutors in France before her father had decided to move them back to England.

She had always been protected and knew that but was not stupid. She was crafty and always got what she wanted, which made her Papi laugh (the French one, she had never known the British one). As a Pureblood she had always been told that she was on top.

Today tho she felt as if her world was crumbling under her feet. She saw dark clouds pile up at the horizon. She was seeing war and its tenebrous cortege arrive upon her and her carefree classmates. She saw Hogwarts clearly as if it was the first time: as one of these Muggle' snowglobes, a little world protected and enchanted, and the glass was on the verge of breaking.

On one side was her family, the wizarding society that was splitting up and her house that was heading to a dark path. On the other side was her desire to live in peace in a world where she would not have to hide what she really thought nor her friendship with Lily.

She was seeing a huge crack, no a dark black abyss grow wider between the two sides. At the bottom of her heart Lena knew that things would not get better. She saw it in the feverish looks full of hate of the 7th years. She felt it in the tense air just like before the storm.

She felt dizzy as she was really standing before this abyss, ready to fall at the next gust of wind. She knew exactly what Narcissa wanted from her. She had to join the dance of their patrician politics. Build alliances, plot in the shadows, enter the chessboard she had so strongly tried to avoid. But she was out of excuses now. The time had come and she was terrified. Never again had she felt so alone.

Alyssa would not understand. She was comfortable in this world. She was not racist and had no ill feelings for Muggle-borns she simply did not care. She just wanted to have a nice marriage and live the fairy tale.

Lily would not understand either. A sad smile lit upon Lena' face. Her best friend had a temper as fiery as her hair and would not hesitate to fight in this so typical Gryffindor way. She had not been born on a chessboard. Of course she had other pressures to face but this muffled and deadly world that threatened to drown her into its poison was unknown to her.

Narcissa wanted power and to make her family proud as for most of the boys in her year and house.

Leaning down she grabbed a rock and threw it as far as possible. In her head her thoughts were started to get organised.

She could admit the obvious and play her rightful part. Join the other Slytherins socially and politically. Cut ties with Lily. Put her ideas and principles under keys, throw the keys away and bury them deep inside herself. But what if she was asked to attack a Muggle? That thought made her want to throw up. Closing her eyes she imagined Rosier asking her to torture an innocent. Her hand squeezed a rock so hard it hurt and she threw it into the lake as far as she could.

But if she joined them her family would be safe. Her parents would not be threaten nor her cousins. She doubted her french family would be in danger but she refused to underestimate the situation.

If she stayed alone she was as good as dead. No alliances to protect her, no she did not give much for her skin. Her name would protect her in the beginning but it would not be enough. No this was not the right choice.

What if she stayed neutral? She would be branded a blood-traitor, back to square one.

She wiped a tear that had tricked on her cheek with an angry move. She was not a child anymore! She refused to behave like it!


Higher on the school' grounds a young man was observing her. His clear eyes were glued to the small figure against the lake. He started to walk towards her. She had not noticed him yet and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. Slowly he got his wand out of his bag. Just 10 meters… She threw another stone...5 meters...

A sudden gust of wind blew and she turned over. Sirius stopped dead in the icy air. Without a word, his face impassive he stared at the girl. She had cried he could see it at her red eyes that made her eyes appeared even greener than usual.

She was really small compared to him and he was unable to explain why the idea struck him so suddenly. All idea of a prank had left his mind and he kept meeting her gaze, as hypnotised.

The wind had gotten stronger and was making her brown curls fly, revealing a pale and slender neck.

With her black uniform and the inky lake behind her any Muggle would have called her a witch. But there was something else in her eyes, an infinite sadness, distress as well, that had nothing to do in the eyes of a 16 years old.

Why was she crying? He knew she was a Slytherin but he wanted to extend his hand to her and to tell her to get away from the dark water.

From the deepest of his gut he had a feeling that something important was at play here. He thought of when he had decided to leave his family forever, of the despair and the darkness he had almost drown into.

It seemed that this girl was like him and the comparison shook him. Maybe she was at the crossroad just as he had been. Lost and not knowing what to do. He almost opened his mouth but reconsidered. He did not know why but talking did not seem appropriate.

In front of him Lena almost had a stroke when Sirius had appeared out of nowhere. She was so deeply in her thoughts that all idea of revenge appeared childlike.

For the first time of her life the proud and directive Lena was caught off guard. She did not know what to do. Nobody to ask advice to. Nobody she could cry in front of. But him, did she realise had made a choice. He had seen the same things she had and had chosen to leave. He had chosen the side of the traitors, the renegades and the parvenus. This revelation took her breath away and she was unable to escape from his silver eyes.

It was the first time she felt like seeing Sirius. Beyond the masks, the jokes in class, the cheeky or flirty smiles. He too had faced the abyss and had crossed it.

'How did you know you had to leave?' The question left brutally her lips and she immediately felt upset against herself. Show all of her cards at once, how stupid! She should have probed the soil but now it was too late. Well it was no good crying over spilled potion!

Sirius' eyebrows went up so high they disappeared behind his messy locks on his forehead. His first instinct was to tell her to mind her own business.

But when he opened his mouth what left was not a snarky retort as he expected and he shocked himself.

"I couldn't stand it anymore, their hate, their superiority and their disgusting pride". Immediately after Sirius cursed himself. Reveal himself to a Slytherin, really?

But she did not laugh, nor did she said something dismissive. No hex either.

She turned again toward the lake, seemingly deeply contemplative. In the light of the dusk the water seemed darker than ever.

"War is coming isn't it?". The whisper might have escaped him had he not have Padfoot' hearing.

Sirius nodded before just like her watching the fog rise onto the lake.

A long moment passed before any of them move, Lena getting an unexpected comfort from his presence.

She was getting cold and she realized it was late. Tightening her cape against herself to fight humidity, she turned around brusquely, nodded at Sirius and walked back to the castle without even more of casting another glance behind her.

The wind was blowing her cape and dancing in her hair and Sirius surprised himself to think he could have find her pretty in other circumstances.

He knew nothing of this girl, not what she was going to do or which side she would choose.

While casting a last look at the lake he concluded she probably didn't even know it herself. But as surely as the night was falling war was coming.


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