The sun was barely starting to come up over the horizon as I sat down on the directed park bench. As the seconds ticked by, I began to wonder if I'd gotten it wrong. I was a little hungover thanks to Abby's margaritas last night. My only comfort was it was cool enough that the P30 was tucked under my jacket. I really hoped I wouldn't need it. I wasn't feeling comfortable about this at all.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dark figure in sunglasses approach me. He was carrying a tray with two coffee cups on it. I managed to keep quiet until he sat down next to me.
"This is some serious old school spy shit," I said, staring ahead to the Washington Monument. The sun had barely crept over the horizon, casting shadows over us.
"I'm sure it doesn't escape your notice Miss Lyngley that I am old," Nick Fury's dry tone was unmistakable. He handed me a cup of coffee, before setting the tray aside.
He looked really odd in sunglasses. I barely knew where to look at him on a good day. The sunglasses threw me off terribly. Instead, I stared straight ahead, blowing on my coffee.
I couldn't hide the surprise on my face as I took a sip. It was a vanilla latte. I wanted to fire a million questions at my boss right now. I doubted it would do me any good though. He had his own coffee and was clutching the cup like he was a college student coming off a week long bender.
"How're our boys?" Fury's tone was casual as if we were two friends meeting for coffee.
"Holding it together," I said honestly. "Barely."
I was worried sick about Clint this morning. I'd gotten messages from him at all hours of the night. It sounded like he hadn't slept at all. Lila's arm wasn't broken but she was banged up and very sore.
"Why am I here?" I asked tiredly. I wasn't in the mood for games or bullshit. If Fury was going to fire me, he could have at least picked a civil hour.
"What happened with Pierce yesterday?"
I knew that question was coming.
"He offered me a position in Alpha team on the condition I'm still officially Delta," I said, trying not to clench my jaw. I'd gotten over my horror of Pierce's manipulation of me. Now I was angry. "The whole being the face of SHIELD wasn't exactly unexpected. I did volunteer after all. The fact Pierce used the threat of taking action again Jared and Clint was a shock and pretty fucking bold on his behalf."
My little tirade made me even more tired than before. I took a long sip of my coffee, still surprised that Fury got it right. Was it creepy that my big boss knew how I drank my coffee?
"I'm sorry you had to go through that."
Fury's answer surprised me more than anything else had in the last few weeks. An apology was something my poor brain couldn't cope with.
"What else?" Fury asked calmly.
"Me running missions with Alpha team means my indiscretion with Barton will be overlooked." I slumped against the bench. "But I'm an idiot. We're just fucking so technically it doesn't matter."
"Out of everything happening right now, you and Barton's indiscretion is the least of my problems," Fury said dryly. "If it had been such a huge issue, don't you think I would have said something earlier? Because you're right. As long as you two are just fucking, I couldn't care less."
At least that was something. I slumped down a little more on the bench.
"Constance has all the interviews lined up for me," I said tiredly, taking another big sip of coffee. "And here I am, playing the good little soldier. So, what do you need, Sir?"
The Sir was added as an afterthought. Although I was snippy, I wasn't completely void of any respect.
"Right now, I need you," Fury said plainly. "There's something going on and I don't know what it is."
I was not expecting that. I nearly dropped my coffee in surprise.
"You have thousands of agents at your disposal," I said bitterly. "All much better qualified and trained than me. You don't need me."
I had far too much shit on my plate already. I'm sure there were dozens of agents who Fury could trust.
"I do need you." Fury looked over at me. "I need someone who I can trust. Who will do the right thing even at great personal cost."
That was certainly me. The bitterness was growing ever so steadily, like cancer eating away at my soul.
I could say no. I could get up off the park bench, walk away and nothing would change. This meeting was a secret and no one else knew. My plan was to tell Evans I couldn't sleep so I went for a run. I even had workout clothes on to buy into that excuse.
"In return, I'll tell you what's really going on with Coulson. Not the placating bullshit I'm spinning every day to Barton."
My sharp intake of breath couldn't be stopped. It was the ultimate bribery. If I wasn't already going to say yes, this would have been the nail in my coffin. This was already going to fuck me over. I knew that. At least now I could give Clint something in return. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. It was my life.
"But you can't tell anyone what you're doing. Not Jared. Not Romanoff or Barton. Not your parents. Not even Hazel. This is between you and me."
"What do you need me to do?"
I feel like I'd just volunteered for my own execution. I was being torn between two people. At least I trusted Fury. Pierce was done out of necessity. I was actually genuine in my quick acceptance with Fury.
"Pierce has always used Alpha for his own personal needs," Fury continued. "You and Rumlow are friends. I need you to use that and do whatever you need to find out what's going on with those missions."
"As much as I appreciate your confidence in me." I could already pick this plan apart. "There's the small problems of being cleared for field duty. As fantastic of a teacher Natasha is, lying to Andrew is near impossible."
"I think you'll find that Pierce will be just as eager to get you under Rumlow's wing." Fury didn't seem perturbed at all. "That's going to include getting you away from your own support network and into one where he controls the narrative. You know yourself how specific Coulson was with you three and everything with your needs."
As if my life wasn't hard enough. I was going to be ripped away from everything I know.
"Natasha has taught you well enough I have no doubt of your ability to spin some spectacular bullshit to make that work," Fury continued. "I need you to make it work."
I gave him a tight nod. I already had an idea of how to make it work.
"Then what?"
"Then we wait," Fury said plainly. "This is going to be a long game. There isn't going to be any answers immediately. I need you to try and make it as natural as possible."
I took another drink of coffee. It was a lot of processes. I wanted to say no and that this was all impossible. But instead, my brain was ticking over on how I was going to do this. At least it gave me something to do instead of having a meltdown about my interview today.
"Coulson is currently undergoing a procedure using alien technology," Fury spoke up when I didn't speak again. "Thor's visit in New Mexico wasn't the first time we'd encountered aliens."
I was only mildly surprised. SHIELD was the master of keeping secrets. Even something as big as that.
"Back in the late '80s, a young pilot named Carol Danvers was killed in what people thought was a training exercise." Fury sat back against the seat. "It turns out, she was attacked by a race of aliens called Kree, looking for the Tesseract and the scientist using it to build light speed engines."
"I remember the name from flight school."
The name had been on a few records, along with Maria Rambeau's. I'd set a personal goal of smashing those records.
"Along came Ms Danvers with powers that make Charles Xavier's look like a party trick after losing her memory and hanging with the Kree for a few years. It was an interesting week when she remembered who she was."
Fury had a fond look on his face. I had a funny feeling that his idea of an interesting week and mine were two totally different ideas.
"Since then, we've had various encounters with the Kree and other alien forms." Fury went back to his usual stoic look. "From there, we've been able to study various uses from them. Including medical uses. One of those medical uses was being able to resurrect a fallen Avenger no matter how long they'd been dead."
The lump that formed in my throat couldn't be swallowed down. I thought I was going to cry right there. Resurrecting a fallen Avenger. That meant Fury considered Coulson an Avenger. It was fitting. He was the one who kept us together.
"Coulson is currently in an unstable condition. The GH.325 formula has some extremely potent side effects," Fury continued. "One of those is psychosis. The original program was scrapped because of this. Though, there are certain protocols put in place to help with this."
It was really too early for all of this. There was some logic to what Fury was saying. Of course, Thor and his asshole brother weren't the only aliens out there. The number of people and planets out there was probably unimaginable. Trying to use alien technology was what caused all of these problems in the first place. But SHIELD always did its own thing. Messing with the Tesseract was probably the least of the secrets hidden in the basement.
"So when will we know if Coulson is stable?" It didn't feel like it was good news. But it gave me a sliver of hope. Maybe this whole thing wasn't a complete shit show.
"In the next few days," Fury said as he got up. "In the meantime, I need you to play along with whatever bullshit is going on."
"I've got it," I said tightly. "Do I contact you?"
"I'll contact you." Fury adjusted his sunglasses and held out his hand. "I'll also take that and you can make your excuse for going for a run legitimate."
If Fury could see through me so clearly, how the hell was I ever going to pull this off? My little bubble of confidence was shattered so quickly.
"It's Barton's." I scooted forward and took the P30 out of the back of my pants. "Trust me, he'll know if it's missing."
"I'll make sure it's returned." Fury took the gun off me. "Again, things like this are the least of my concern right now."
Fury stashed the P30 into his jacket. He stopped and looked at me for a few moments. It was hard to read his expression. His face always looked like it was set in stone. But every now and again some emotion would flicker across.
"You look after that boy, you hear me?" Fury broke the silence. "I need him. I need all of you right now. You're the best agents I have."
"I will." I was torn between pride and downright terror at Fury's praise.
If I couldn't do this, whatever was brewing under the surface was going to erupt eventually. What is was, I had no idea. The fact Fury was trusting me with this, all of people was something my brain was having a really hard time comprehending.
Fury left without another word. Casually strolling down the walkway like he was on a morning walk. I waited until he was out of sight until I got up and tied my jacket around my waist. Taking his advice, I picked up a steady jog.
My cardio was severely lacking right now. I was panting heavily within a minute. The sun had risen now and it was already incredibly muggy. My lack of any cardio lately, combined with the heat had me sweating heavily.
Still, I ran. I ran until my legs burned and I couldn't breathe. I found a tree to lean on, desperately sucking in the much needed oxygen. My lungs were on fire. For a few horrible moments, I thought I was going to be sick. I swallowed back to acrid bile, desperately willing it back to my stomach.
"Kari?"
I jumped in fright at hearing my name. Looking up sharply, I found myself face to face with Steve.
"Steve," I said, between my panting breaths. "Hi."
Despite our brief friendly encounter before Loki happened, I still felt awkward around Steve. We'd barely formed any kind of relationship. I hadn't seen him much during Loki's little escape.
"Hi." Steve was dressed for running. Unlike me, he didn't have a drop of sweat on him. "It's good to see you. You guys kind of disappeared after New York."
I'd had so much other shit on my plate, I hadn't given Steve a second thought. A vague sense of guilt gnawed at me. I had no idea what he was doing beyond that Grams and Peggy were still around helping him. Not that I'd replied to any of their messages
"Sorry, Jared took us to one of his off the grid safe houses," I said, lying easily. I reached up to wipe the sweat off my face with my shirt. "I only got back yesterday."
"Ah." Steve looked vaguely uncomfortable. "Is everyone else back?"
"Just me," I said with a shrug. "I had work shit to deal with."
Pierce asking me if I was close to Steve came to the front of my mind. If I was going to win favor with him, getting Steve on my side wouldn't be a bad move at all. I could do with a friend.
"I've got some media stuff to do today," I said quickly. "I'm sorry I didn't get in touch. It's been a little crazy."
"Yeah, that's the understatement of the year," Steve said with a strained laugh.
The look on his face reminded me far too much of Clint. The weight of the world was on his shoulders and trusting no one to help with that burden.
"Hey, you want to catch up for dinner tonight?" I asked with a half smile. "I feel like a bit of an asshole for leaving without saying anything."
Steve instantly relaxed. This time he gave me a more genuine smile.
"Dinner sounds great."
I glanced down at my watch. The meeting with Fury had taken far longer than I'd anticipated. I was going to have some cranky messages from Evans when I got back to the car and checked my phone.
"I've got to go. Evans is going to kill me if I'm late for anything today," I said with a cringe. "There's a place called Del Frisco's Steakhouse in town. Want to meet me there at 7?"
"I'll see you there." Steve's smile was easy. "I'm going to keep going with my run."
At least I had all day to work out how I was going to persuade Steve to come join SHIELD. It was a problem for later. Now I had to get back to Evans and get ready for the torture session of today.
With a wave, Steve jogged in the direction I had just come from. I had no time to waste. Despite my burning muscles, I jogged back to the car.
Breaking every speed limit, I managed to make it back to Evans house. He was waiting for me as I drove into the driveway. He didn't look pissed off at least. He even had my mug in his hand.
"Morning," Evans said with a smile as I got out of the car. "You know there are plenty of very good running paths around here. I brought into a nice neighborhood for a reason."
It took all of my self control not to sag in relief. Then again, I was drenched in sweat and my face was still red despite the air conditioning on full blast during the drive home.
"I wasn't sure if I needed a run, coffee or to keep driving far away." My laugh wasn't forced. I gratefully took the offered mug of coffee. Alexi had given me the Top Gun mug last year for my birthday. Apparently, she had seen it in the shops and told Abby that I needed it.
"You and me both. Laziness won out with the going for a run though," Evans said, stepping aside so I could walk into the house. "Abby has already taken the kids to daycare. We need to get going very soon."
"I'll go have a shower." I drained the coffee in one long drink. "Sorry, I needed to get it out of my system."
"I'd prefer you to go for a run than lose your shit today." Evans shrugged looking unconcerned about my early morning disappearance. "We leave in 20 minutes."
I took the hint and went straight upstairs to the shower. I was back downstairs and ready to go within 15 minutes. At least I was efficient like that. I had no idea what to wear, so I dressed casually.
The drive to the Triskelion was quiet. Evans seemed lost in thought as we crawled along through the heavy traffic once we got out of the suburbs. My little detour this morning meant we didn't have time to stop for coffee along the way. At least Evans was organized with two travel mugs that we both sipped during the quiet drive.
Looking out in the bright sunny day felt like the calm before the storm. With the whole Loki drama, I didn't have time to stop and think of how much of a difference it was going to make. The general public knowing aliens existed was going to be interesting, to say the least.
Tony was already a celebrity. Everyone knew his face. Pepper had always said his public persona was very different from his private one. He put on a very good show for the cameras. I'd seen a tiny glimpse of that when he was the one who had shown up at the investment meeting I'd had. Thanks to him and his genius idea with the body armor that I technically owned, I now had more money than I'd ever dreamed of. He was a generous and kind person deep down. Sometimes very, very deep down. But one thing he had was the ease of being famous. I was going to have to adapt to that.
I didn't know how to adapt to that. I was going to have to learn very quickly though.
Once we got to the Triskelion, Evans ushered me straight to the same conference room as yesterday. Constance and her team were already waiting for me.
Constance always seemed annoyed. This morning was no different as she commanded me to sit right away. Like the obedient little soldier I was, I did as I was told.
Her team instantly swarmed on me. Makeup suddenly covered every surface of the table. Racks of clothes started coming in through the door. It was enough to make panic start to creep in.
I had to stay calm and still. So much depended on me not losing my shit.
Breathing through my nose, I let the make-up lady do her thing. I'd missed her name while trying to squash down my impending panic. Instead, I nodded and smiled to her steady stream of talk. Another person was behind me, running a straighter through my hair.
When the panic subsided, it wasn't exactly terrible. I didn't mind being fussed over usually and the lady in front of me was talkative enough that I didn't have to input much into the conversation. But it was enough to keep my mind wandering. When they were both done, even I had to admit it was a good job.
It was a natural look, despite the feel of a lot of make-up caked on. It gave me some color back into my skin. I'd lost my panda eyes from lack of sleep. Even though I still felt gaunt, I certainly didn't look it. My hair fell in a neatly straightened locks around my face.
Evans had left the room during my little makeover. Going through the racks of clothes that were picked me for gave me a new found appreciation for SHIELD and the wardrobe they kept for their agents. I was envious of whoever got to pick the wardrobe for their job.
Settling on another Chanel suit was easy No one objected when I pulled out the sharp navy jacket and skirt. It seemed my fashion sense was right on point, much to the relief of everyone around me. It was funny to see their careful and worried expressions. My jeans and t-shirt certainly gave off the impression that I didn't know how to dress myself. I didn't recognize any of the clothes or make-up people from the meeting yesterday. I'm sure there was some worry that I was going to argue about having to wear a skirt or at least look presentable.
Taking the suit and shirt, I stepped out of the room to get find a bathroom to get changed. As I did, I walked right into an argument.
Both Evans and Rumlow instantly stopped when I stepped out. Evans looked furious and Rumlow looked annoyed. A few of the Alpha guys were standing off the side, all of them pointedly looking away.
"I didn't do it?" I said, furrowing my brow as I looked between the pair. Evans and Rumlow were at least civil to each other. I wouldn't call them friends but I wouldn't have picked either of them to have an argument in the hallways of the Triskelion either.
"Go and get dressed," Evans said through gritted teeth. "Apparently, you're getting an escort from Alpha team to the studio for your interview today."
Pierce moved fast in his plans. No wonder Evans looked pissed. I didn't know if I was meant to have an escort or not. But if I did, I would have assumed it to be Bravo team. Rumlow was already stepping in. He looked far too pleased with himself about it as well.
"Okay." I wasn't going to argue, Instead, I moved away as quickly as I could in case another argument started.
When I got into the bathroom, I let out a shaky breath. I already felt like the carpet was being ripped out from underneath me. I was hoping to have a little more time than this.
I had no time to wallow in self pity either. I knew I was on the clock. I got changed quickly and headed back to the conference room with my shoes in hand.
"Let's go." Evans intercepted me before I could get back inside. He already had keys in his hand, jingling them with a set jaw. He was pissed.
I meekly followed Evans back to the elevator and into the garage. Instead of his car, this time we took a SHIELD car. Evans got in the driver's seat and every motion was angry. I thought he was going to snap the seatbelt in half with the force he yanked it down. He started the car and his knuckles were white on the steering wheel as we pulled out behind another SHIELD car.
Behind a line of cars were following. I really did have an escort.
"What did you do, Kari?" Evans asked angrily before we were out of the garage.
"What do you mean, what did I do?" I knew playing dumb wasn't going to get me far. Evans wasn't an idiot.
"You know exactly what I mean," Evans snapped. "Why the fuck is Rumlow thinking he's in charge of you now?"
A lump stuck in my throat. For a second, I thought I was going to burst into tears. I'd never seen Evans this angry before. Even when he was pissed off, it was never aimed at me.
Evans was fucking scary when he was angry.
"Kari." Evans saying my name sounded like a warning.
I swallowed the lump back. I couldn't cry. Not on the first day of all of this happening. If I fell apart now, how was I going to get through what I needed to do for Fury?
"I did what I had to." Instead, I forced myself to snap back at Evans. "You weren't in the meeting with Pierce, you don't know what he's like."
"I know exactly how he's like," Evans countered. This time the anger had subsided a little. He still looked pissed. "What did he threaten you with?"
I had to lie. I couldn't tell Evans the real reason. Fury was right in the fact I was learning to spin spectacular bullshit. Especially on the spot. At least this wasn't entirely untrue.
"He was going to split us up," I said angrily. It was hard to snap at Evans. All I wanted now was a hug. Not to be pissed off. "Because of me and Clint. He was going to force me onto another team. I talked my way into still officially being Delta, but promised to run missions with Alpha."
"You don't know what you're getting into," Evans said hotly.
I really didn't. I knew it wasn't going to be fun. My life was really going to suck for a while.
"I couldn't find another way."
At least the defeat in my voice wasn't an act there. I really didn't know what else to do.
The last bit of anger drained from Evans face. This time when he looked at me, it was with concern and a touch of pity. The way he looked at me, I felt like he was seeing right through me. Like he knew I was lying.
"You don't have to do this," Evans tone changed to gentle. "Technically, you and Barton are just sleeping together so there's no rules about that. If there were, we wouldn't have the amount of Specialist that we do. And some of the STRIKE guys either."
That made a small choked laugh escape from me. I knew a couple of the gay STRIKE guys slept with each other.
"You need to be careful," Evans continued, sounding more tactful now. "If there's any bullshit going on, you tell me right away. I'm your friend, not just your handler."
Damn you, Evans. The lump in my throat came back with a vengeance. I forced myself to blink away the tears threatening to fall.
"Thanks, Troy." It came out wobbly, but I still managed a more genuine smile.
Evans returned it, not before a flash of concern crossed his face. He didn't say anything further and turned back to driving.
I went back to looking out the window. What else could I say? I couldn't tell Evans that I knew he was right. I was worried he could see straight through me already. Like Fury said, this was going to be a long game. If both him and Evans saw through me in the first day, what hope did I have? The same thing kept replaying over and over again.
My turbulent thoughts were brought to a jerking halt as the car stopped. I'd been too wrapped up in my thoughts to notice we'd arrived.
While sitting in the passenger seat sudden case of nerves hit me so hard, I actually heaved. For a second I thought my coffee for breakfast was going to make an appearance. Nothing but spit and bile filled my mouth, which I quickly swallowed back.
It wasn't unnoticed. Evans looked extremely worried now. Wordlessly, he went back into the car and pulled out a bottle of water. My hands shook as I unscrewed the cap and took a long drink.
I expected Evans to say something. Yet when I screwed the cap back onto the water bottle, he was silent. He simply gestured towards the building with a door already open and waiting for us. Squaring my shoulders, I opened the car door and stepped out with a click of my Jimmy Choo's.
Nothing prepared me for the swarm of people in front of the building. The SHIELD car had darkened windows and in my sudden panic, I hadn't noticed the crowd. There was actually a barricade that I could walk through. As soon as I stepped into the building, cameras began flashing in my face.
I instantly turned my head away from the blinding lights. In the next heartbeat, Rumlow and Evans were both beside me, shielding me from the worst of the view. Rumlow had his cap tugged down as far as he could over his face. Evans used one of the folders that had been tucked under his arm as a face shield. The noise was the next thing to hit me. People were shouting so much I couldn't make out anything over the noise. I really thought I was going to be sick again.
Then we made it to the front door of the building. A security guard quickly opened it for us and shut it behind us just as quickly.
I felt faint. All the blood rushed from my head and I saw stars swimming before my eyes.
"I need to sit," I said hoarsely, gripping Evans' arm hard so I didn't fall over.
A chair appeared out of nowhere as I sunk into it before I fell over. Not caring about my makeup, I put my head in my hands, trying to take in deep breaths so I didn't hyperventilate.
Part of me was furious at my sudden case of weakness. How many times had I stared death in the face now? Too many to count. Every single time of those situations, I never balked. Not even once. I'd squared my shoulders and marched on, regardless of what the consequences might have been.
But right now, I was doing a simple interview. Nothing life or death. Somehow it was more terrifying than all of those other times.
The hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stood up. I looked up in time to see Jared shoving Rumlow out of the way as he came to kneel in front of me. Jared looked pale and drawn. Despite that, he looked immaculate in one of his very expensive suits with not a hair out of place. He took my hands, squeezed them so hard I felt the bones shift in protest.
"You know, I've been feeling sick all morning and blamed it on Natasha's attempt at cooking," Jared said with his trademark cheeky smirk. "She hit me with one of the blackened pans that we need to throw out when I told her that."
It was an obvious lie. Laura would never let Natasha unsupervised in the kitchen for long enough to burn a pan. The mental picture made me laugh though.
"Then we decided," Jared switched to Icelandic. It took a second for my brain to process the shift of language. "You don't need to do this alone. Evans kept us in the loop and we're all doing this today. You're never alone. We're a team."
I nearly cried. Instead, I threw myself forward into Jared's waiting arms and hugged him. His strong arms held me tight. When Jared wasn't being an asshole, he gave really good hugs. Despite feeling like shit, at least I felt calmer now. Jared let me go, with a bigger smile and a wink.
"I'll be back."
True to his word, he was back in less than ten seconds. This time with Natasha and Clint with him.
Natasha had her cool indifferent look plastered on her face. Clint looked the most together I'd seen him since Loki scrambled his brain. The smug confidence between the three of them made me feel infinity better.
I could do this.
Authors Note
Happy New Year everyone! Sorry this didn't come out sooner. This whole working for a living thing is bullshit. Especially when your boss is far too happy to have you back.
Excuse any editing errors. This was a bit rushed before I go to work.
I hope everyone enjoyed it! Hopefully, the next update won't be too far away.
Until next time.
