"I'm so happy to see you! What's the matter? You look soo sad. Your face is all red, aren't you glad to see your big sister again?! I'm here to acquire a lot more happiness from you. COME ONN! You should be running into my arms and telling me how much you missed me then I'll be like "Oh Sona, I missed you too" and then I'll give you a big fat kiss and you will kiss me back and that will lead to some girl-on-girl action and wouldn't that be hottt?" Serafall said, getting into Sona's face.

Now I can admit to not watching all of the anime. Just 3 and a half seasons. And I knew like Sirzechs, that Serafall was a bit of a sis-con.
But it still took me a good few seconds to process what she said.

"The fuck did I just hear?"

Then I was knocked off my chair, giving a high pitched yelp, the chair coming with me, turning on its side. Leaving me groaning in pain on the other I opened my eyes, what greeted me was a magical staff pointed directly into my face.

"Don't you be using that foul language in front of my So-tan! She might use it herself! Then my poor Sona wont be as innocent, and then she will find out other bad words and that'll be so sad!" She said while pouting at me.

Of course, I didn't see that as pouting.

I believe I just pissed off Serafall Leviathan. Which is bad. Very Bad. Worse than the situation was moments ago.

Because I am still in immense pain, I don't think anything is broken or fractured but clearly showed the power gap between me and her.

To properly imagine how I feel, imagine this:

I am an ant. And she is THE FUCKING DEATH STAR.

Like fuck, how does someone even deal with that?

"That's enough, sister. Please let him go."

'Thank fuck for Sona'

"But Sona-channn"

"Enough, Sister, why have you been spying on my conversations? This is a direct violation of my privacy and I am deeply disappointed in you. What were you thinking? All I want is independence and-""Wait Sona, Please, stop" I said while wheezing slightly.

"I shouldn't be in this room when you are having this conversation. Can you two try to make up with each other when I'm not here because now I feel like a dick because I kinda ratted on Serafall and that may have led to a bad relationship which between sisters should always be close and I am definitely rambling now so I am going to shut up." I said while standing and looking like an idiot.

I grabbed onto the chair and pulled in upright towards the two, Within a millisecond, Serafall had the chair upright and had her arms around my neck.

"Oh wow! You see! Foul-mouth-chan understands that's sisters should LOVE each other and go beyond just loving each other But-"

"We will talk about this later, sister. For now, let's get back to business" Sona said gesturing towards the chair.

"Yippee!" Serafall shouted as she somersaulted into the chair.

She patted the spot next to her and aimed a smile towards me.

'Oh thank god' I thought as I awkwardly took the seat, breathing a sigh of relief.

"So" I said a little shakily "You don't mind your sister being here as tell you the uhh...thing?"

"Serafall Leviathan will not break my trust when she is already on such a thin line. However, Even though I cannot stop you, there would be benefits to you not sharing this information to other factions. Do you agree to this?"

'Great, now I feel like the asshole'

"I didn't plan on telling anyone other than you on this matter but I will tell you anyway. Now please don't interrupt me as I give my explanation. Actually it's very simple. Just remove the sacred gear of the person you want to reincarnate, reincarnate him or her when they die then simply give it back to them."

The room was silent for a few seconds. But what broke it, was Serafall springing out of her seat and looking at me in wonder.

"Oh wow! That's amazing! I wonder why nobody thought of that before? It has so much potential! That's so cool!" Serafall said getting a little too close to me. But damn I have to admit that she's cute.

Cute. But Scary.

Very Fucking Scary.

So there is one solution for this.

"Uh, can we move on to my problem?" I asked Sona, moving away slightly from Serafall.

"Ah...I believe we should. Tell me Issei-san, How do you want to deal with your bird problem?"

I was going to give a rehearsed answer that I had thought up of for a good hour last night. But then I looked over to who was beside me. And a flash of inspiration hit me.
"I just thought of the most brilliant thing..."


"It's Sunday" I said to myself out loud. "That means I have my date!" I said in glee.

As you can tell the conversation with me, Sona and Serafall went well. Extremely well considering I am alive right now. But I may have made this day the happiest or funniest day of my life so far.

The first thing I did to prepare for my date was to play the song "Stayin' Alive" on repeat and do everything with a shit eating grin on my face. I got dressed and sped downstairs.

"Woah son, calm down there" dad said to me while at the table eating breakfast. "You will bring the house down."

"Hey Dad!" I said, still grinning like a maniac as I came up behind him giving him a hug. "It's good to see ya" I said ruffling his hair.

"Issei?" My mom questioned as she turned towards me from the sink "what's got you in such a great mood?" she asked quizzitively.

"You wouldn't believe me I told ya, but anyway, have I ever told ya how great parents you two are? Because you guys are honestly the best for putting up with me. ANYWAY!" I said before they could give a response "I'm going out today, I will see you guys later!" I said taking three pieces of toast before leaving through the door.

Mr. and Mrs. Hyoudou gave each other a puzzled look, confused by their sons antics.

"Any idea why he's so chipper?" Mr. Hyoudou asked his wife.

"I think he's back to his usual self" she replied with a sigh.

"What do you mean by that?" Mr. Hyoudou asked confusedly.

"You haven't noticed? For the last few days he hasn't been...himself, I was a bit worried by his change of attitude. He acted more calm and less perverted."

"You know our son is never not going to be a pervert" Mr. Hyoudou said, rolling his eyes. "He's loved boobs before he even hit puberty."

"Have you seen his room?"

"Of course I have, it's full of hentai, has a bed and he has a body pillow in the wardrobe."

"It isn't like that anymore."

"What?"

"He's taking down all of his porn posters and put it in his closet. The only thing left is that stupid alarm clock when he wakes up."

"So he's trying to be a normal person in society? Honey, that is the best news I have heard all day!" Mr. Hyoudou said, going up to his wife and wrapping an arm around her.
"After maybe two days of rehab he is back to his usual self." Mrs. Hyoudou said, sighing under her breath.

"Hey, he's trying. Maybe there is hope we will have grandchildren one day" Mr, Hyoudou said, a warm comforting smile on his face.

"...Maybe."


Raynare is about 30 minutes late but I still didn't care. The large shit eating grin has still not left my face since morning.

I have been walking around Kuoh earlier to get used to the layout, knowing my tendency to easily get lost. I printed out a map, seeing the route I drew earlier in preparation for my date.

If all works out like I hope to, this date will not turn out that bad.

My thoughts were interrupted with the arrival of my date.

"Hey Issei-kun!" Raynare greeted me, same innocent look on her face.

"Oh Hey uhh, Ray-"

Oh fuck.

Wait...wait wait wait.

THE FUCK IS HER FAKE NAME AGAIN?

"-of sunshine!"

PLAY IT FUCKING COOL JASON.

"What's took ya so long! I was worried you weren't going to come and thought da worst, ya know how it is and...yeah. SO! Why ya late? Was there an emergency or something?" I rambled frantically.

I will admit, it was funny seeing the look of bewilderment on her face. It soon turned into giggles and she gave a small laugh.

"My friends held me up, they wanted me to look my best for the date" she said apologetically, twiddling her fingers in an adorable manner.

"Oh well...they definitely did a good job there!" I said, giving her a once over and a thumbs up.

"Hehehe, so where are we going?"

"Ahh well, follow me, lets walk and talk."


"So I thought to myself, how can I make this the most memorable first date as possible? Because it's usually walks on the beach, fancy schmancy restaurant or a carnival. All of those are the promised to work on a first date."

"Oh? So which one of them are you taking me to?"

"None."

"What?"

"Well, they work, but ya know, I was thinking I needed to be honest with ya. So, I brought you to the place that best represents the type of person I am. And if we turn the corner right here...then we will be right there."

About 20 meters away, was a sight that I have been craving for the last few days. A world wide restaurant with tasty food that's affordable.

I'm not used to Japanese customs yet. It's the small things that put me off. Like everyone having breakfast at the same time. And it always being rice! So what I really need right now is a nice juicy burger.

"...You brought me to McDonalds?"

"Exactly" I said beaming right up at the store. "So let's get some lunch!"


"The fuck are half of these things?" I asked, looking at the menu above the counter. "What the hell is a Tsukimi Burger?"

"You've never had one?"

"What? No, I have normal food. A double cheeseburger, some fries and a coke." I replied dismissively, still skimming the menu. "Le Gran Sausage? What the fuck are these names?" But before I knew it I was at the top of the line.

"Hello, How can I help you?" The McDonalds employee asked.

"Uhh, can I get uhh double cheeseburger, large fries and uhh medium coke."

"Anything else?"

"Oh shit, hey what do you want?" I asked Raynare beside me.

Raynare rambled off her order and I paid the cashier. I told Raynare to get us some seats and that I'll bring over the food. All I asked was to get the seat so I was looking at the front door. Because, that is my queue for when phase 2 of the plan begins.


There wasn't much talking while we were eating the food. I was enjoying it and I would have generally liked Raynare if she wasn't doing an overly elaborate way of trying to kill me which eventually is going to bite her in the ass.

I was seated facing the door within a booth beside a window. When I was done my food I started chatting with Raynare about likes, hobbies, normal date stuff.

But after a few minutes, I saw the best part of the date come through the front door.

"Now Raynare, I wanted to make this date as memorable as possible, while still showing you the type of person I am" I said, wrapping my hand around hers. "So I did something special for you" I said, a genuine smile coming on to my face.

"Aww, that's so sweet of you! I knew you were kind when I asked to be your girlfriend! But what is it?" She asked curiously.

"Foul-Mouth-chan!" Serafall motherfucking Leviathan exclaimed, glomping me into a hug.

As soon as Raynare realized who Serafall was, she instantly went pale and started to tremble. She tried to speak multiple times but she couldn't quite grasp the situation. Only being able to let one word leave her mouth.
"W-what?"


A/N: Sorry, if you got a notification for this earlier, I fucked up the layout so I had to redo it. Also, I had to get my appendix removed and I had mid-term exams. So sorry for late update!