Bit of a long chapter, I think I got a bit carried away but I hope you enjoy :)
It had been a couple of weeks since Jack and Nikki had been to Sam's for food and 'team bonding.' Although Jack would probably never admit it, it seemed as though that maybe spending time together outside of work had done the trick. He genuinely felt that the three of them got on like a house on fire and it helped them to work well as a team. He had been right, in regards to Nikki. She clearly couldn't remember that night, or at least what she said to him. Well, it was either that or she remembered it all and was choosing not to mention it and if that was the case, Jack couldn't entirely blame her.
Unbeknownst to him, Jack was spot on with the latter idea. Nikki vividly remembered it all. The very brief, very mumbled conversation she shared with him was one of the only things that she could clearly recall. She had tried her best to act like she had no recollection of the previous night but she had been struggling to look Jack in the eye properly. If he took any notice of what she said, he was doing a very good job at hiding it or maybe he was just pretending to not have a clue, for her sake.
What was making the situation even harder was the lack of cases at the Lyell that would usually provide the best distraction. There had been a few minor cases but they were just open and shut, nothing Nikki, Jack or Sam could really dig their teeth into and take their mind off their own lives for a while. The small cases, however, provided a chance for Nikki to overlook Sam's work and post mortems. Allowing her to pick up some new techniques and extra knowledge. Nikki had heard of some of her previous cases, from Leo and Harry, so it really felt like a privilege that Sam could mentor her in an unofficial way. It was also nice for her to have a female face around the place, she hadn't realised how much it helped until Clarissa came. And then when Clarissa left, it really took its toll on her and as much as she loved Jack, it just wasn't the same.
It had been coming up to lunch time when a body had been delivered at the Lyell, another suicide. It was Sam's turn to do a post mortem but she swung past Nikki's desk as she passed and asked if she wanted to observe. Nikki happily agreed, not wasting any opportunity to learn more. She watched as Sam got to work, carefully manoeuvring her way around the body, not letting any detail go unnoticed. Sam was deep in concentration, not letting anything distract her. Nikki often wondered if she looked that fascinating whilst carrying out a post mortem.
"Nikki, can you take a picture of this please?" Sam asked, pulling her from her thoughts.
As Nikki picked up the camera, leaned in and clicked the shutter button; the flash bouncing around the room, she felt a shiver travel from the base of her spine to the top of her neck. The hairs on her arms stood up, she could feel someone watching her. She jumped as she saw a dark shadow move in the observation room from the corner of her eye. She turned her head slowly, her eyes landing on the figure staring back at her. She quickly flicked back to face Sam, feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of her. A mixture of excitement, thrill and anger surged through her veins. It had been pure luck that she hadn't dropped the camera from her hands. She tried to control her breathing as she swallowed the lump forming in her throat.
Placing the camera back down on the side, "Would you excuse me?" She barely let out, the tears in her eyes clouding her vision. She made it quickly through into the corridor, the lump in her throat growing as her heart beat faster. She stormed past Jack, causing him to look up from his computer, his face full of concern. He opened his mouth to ask if everything was alright but she was gone in an instant. Alarm bells ringing he stood up and followed her. He felt his stomach drop as he walked into the observation room, a beat behind her.
Nikki clenched her jaws, trying to keep the rage that was pumping around her from bubbling over the surface. He hadn't changed, not one bit, save a few extra wrinkles here and there. And he still wore that stupid grin on his face, how he ever thought that she would be happy to see him, she'll never know.
"You've dyed your hair," the attempt at a joke was what made Nikki snap.
"What the hell are you doing here?" She said through gritted teeth, trying her best not to scream and shout at him when that's all she wanted to do.
"Well hello to you too Dr. Alexander," he quipped, raising his hands in the air, to which Nikki scoffed. "Here's me thinking you would be overjoyed to see me, it has been a while after all."
"It's been seven years Harry!" She cried. Feeling her voice wobble, she turned away from him. Jack was quick to her side, placing a warm hand on the small of her back, gently running his thumb up and down her spine. A gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Harry, a small smile appearing on his face as he watched their interaction.
"Just breathe darling," Jack whispered. "Like your doctor said, in through the nose and out through the mouth. With me," he added, causing her to look up at him. He breathed slowly with her, watching the small twinkle return to her eyes as she calmed down. "Better?" He asked to which she simply nodded before turning back to face Harry, Jack's hand not leaving her back as a way to remind her that he wasn't going anywhere and should she need the reassurance he'd be there straight away.
"Why now?" She sighed, her composure more controlled, the feeling of Jack's thumb tracing circles into her back allowed her to focus on something and keep her grounded and hopefully prevent her from losing her temper.
"I know it's a bit late-"
"A bit," Nikki interrupted, rolling her eyes causing Jack to reach round and squeeze her waist gently, scolding her for not giving Harry the chance to speak. He hadn't quite made his mind up about the man in front him and if he turned out to be a complete idiot then he would happily let Nikki rip him to shreds but he deserved the chance to explain himself, at least.
"But," Harry continued, feeling himself beginning to become annoyed. "It wasn't something I wanted to tell you over the phone, and please know, I desperately wanted to be at his funeral and I will forever regret not finding the time to come out and be there for you."
"Just spit it out Harry, I haven't got all day," she remarked, resulting in another pinch from Jack.
"I couldn't come because my wife was giving birth to my son," he spat, he was frustrated with her now.
Nikki felt her heart drop as Jack held onto her tighter, he knew, even from the little she talked of him, that the feelings between the two people stood in front of him ran deep. And despite there being distance and time between them, their feelings may have changed but that foundation that solidified them was clearly still there and this revelation was going to be a kick in the teeth. For many different reasons, one being the fact that she probably imagined she'd be the one to share children with this man, the other being him keeping this from her and for so long, that's got to hurt.
What really took Jack by surprise was the chuckle that came from Nikki, he looked over at Harry who seemingly was wearing the same expression as him.
"You're an idiot Dr. Cunningham, you know that?" She beamed at him.
"I'll think you find it's Professor now actually," he pointed out, a smile returning to his face. "Am I forgiven then?"
Nikki nods, leaving Jack's grip to join Harry on the other side of the room, embracing him into a hug. Holding onto him a bit too tightly, she breathed a sigh of relief, the tension that was previously in the room fading fast. After a few moments, she pulled away from him, "You could've told me on the phone though."
"It didn't feel right somehow," he looked over at Jack who was watching them with caution, obviously getting ready to jump between the two should another fight break out. "Are you not going to introduce us then?"
"Oh yes of course, sorry. Harry, this is Jack Hodgson my," she paused, milling over the words. "Colleague and Head of Forensic Science. Jack, this is Professor Harry Cunningham."
"Pleasure to meet you," Jack's accent strong, almost threatening. He reached out, firmly shaking Harry's hand, perhaps a little too hard judging by the slight wince on Harry's face.
"A forensic scientist? When did that happen?" Harry asked, his eyes flicking between Nikki and Jack.
"Well, when you left us in the lurch," Nikki raised her eyebrows, folding her arms at the samet time. "Leo thought we could do with a change around here. Just be thankful that Clarissa Mullery isn't here anymore otherwise I don't think you'd make it out of here alive," she winked at Jack resulting in a snigger from him.
"I've actually got some work to get on with," Jack spoke, sensing that the two of them would need some space to catch up on all the lost time. "So can I trust the two of you to not kill each other whilst I'm gone, please?" He joked, he stole a glance with Nikki who, with just a look, reassured him that she would be okay and not lose her temper again.
Harry, once again, watched the brief interaction between Nikki and Jack, knitting his eyebrows together. He waited until he was sure Jack was out of earshot before turning back to Nikki, an eager grin on his face.
"What?" Nikki asked, confused as to what was amusing him.
"You and him?" Harry gestured with his finger, emphasising his point.
"Me and Jack? Oh no," she laughed nervously, avoiding Harry's eye.
"You're not doing a very good job of convincing me," he smiled at her, watching her face run through a million different emotions.
"Am I that predictable?" She sighed, rolling her eyes. So very typical of Harry to walk back into her life and worm the truth out of her within mere minutes, she never could lie to him.
"Nikki how long have I known you?" He raised his eyebrows at her. He rubbed his hands together. "Besides, I think he used that hand shake to remind me of where I stood."
"Shut up," she poked him. "Now are you going to show me any pictures of this supposed wife and son of yours?"
A proud smile spread across Harry's face as he dug into his pocket, pulling his wallet out. Opening it up, he revealed a picture of him sitting down, a woman with long, dark brown hair next to him. Nikki felt the breath escape her. She was beautiful, she was definitely Harry's type. On the woman's lap, a young boy with dark hair who was the spitting image of Harry. In Harry's arms was a young girl, Nikki guessed she couldn't have been much older than two and unlike the other three, she had bright blonde curly hair and a smirk on her face that was exactly like his.
"I see she's inherited your smile then," she chuckled, pointing at the little girl in the photo. "I hope that's the only thing she's inherited though, don't want to imagine a mini Harry stomping around the place. What are their names?"
"Well that's my wife, Natasha," Harry pointed to the older woman. "Then that's Edward Leo and that's Olivia Nicola," he grinned, anticipating her reaction.
"Oh Harry," she bit her lip, feeling herself welling up again. She pulled him into another hug, holding on to him tightly. The two of them stayed in the observation room for what truly felt like forever. The pair both eager to update each other on everything that happened during the times they hadn't seen each other. Nikki had learnt that the reason Harry had returned to the UK was due to the fact that his mother had fallen ill and he wanted to visit her whilst he still had the chance. Unfortunately, due to his work, it had meant that his trip really was just a flying visit and he was due at the airport in a couple of hours but having some time to kill he thought he would drop by.
Harry, on the other hand, didn't learn much about Nikki which was typical of her really. She very briefly talked about Leo's death which was understandable. He was like a father to her and no amount of time would ever heal the hole he left behind. It very obviously still broke her to think about him. Harry didn't miss how she quite clearly left out some details in her stories, he was a forensic pathologist, he knew when something wasn't adding up. But, he was happy to let it slide considering that this was the first time they'd spoken in a number of years, a part of him did worry that maybe they'd become too distant for her to see him as a confidant, someone she could trust and rely on. Or maybe that role had been passed on to someone else, someone who's name kept being mentioned. Ten years ago he would've been jealous but right now he was just elated at the fact that she had moved on and she was happy and very very in love, even if she hadn't quite realised it yet.
They are soon interrupted as Sam joins them. "Ah Dr. Cunningham, I thought it was you I saw," she spoke, walking over to them, pulling Harry into a hug.
"Well that's a face I never thought I'd see in this place again," Harry chuckled. "And it's Professor now," quickly correcting her.
The smile on Sam's face grew at this revelation, "Well done," she paused. "I hate to interrupt this little reunion, however, I need to speak to Nikki urgently."
Nikki furrowed her brows, "What's wrong?"
Sam waved her hand, "Oh nothing to worry about, I just wanted to get a second opinion on something," she faced Harry. "If you don't mind Professor, I am quite parched."
Harry raised his eyebrows, "Nothing has changed then," he joked, resulting in a chuckle from Nikki. "I don't think I like the thought of you two working together, you're both forces to be reckoned with," shaking his head, he turned and headed back into the main offices where he found Jack sitting on one of the stools in the lab, deep in concentration. "It seems that I am on drink duty, do you want anything?" He called out making Jack jump slightly.
"I'll take a coffee ta," Jack glanced up at him, not taking much notice. "Black, no sugar."
"Coming right up," the grin on Harry's face fading fast as he realised that Jack was going to be hard to break, well that's what he could gather from Jack's very apparent moody face but as he busied himself with the drinks, a small smile cracked on Jack's face, his plan of getting to Harry was working and he couldn't be more pleased. He wasn't in the slightest bit jealous of Harry, both Nikki and he had clearly moved on from whatever happened between them but Jack felt it was only right to remind of who called the shots around here now. He did, after all, leave and break Nikki's heart in the process, not that she'd ever admit that. Like Jack, she could be quite stubborn.
After a couple of minutes, Harry finished up making the drinks. Picking up Jack's, he joined him on the other side of the room before placing his mug down in front of him. Harry sighed, "Can I say something?"
Jack looked up at him, taking a sip of his coffee, "Depends. Is it going to offend me?"
Harry laughed nervously, not totally sure of where he stood with Jack, "I don't want to come across as rude, I barely know you but," he paused, watching as Jack's face changed from a frown to a glare, he obviously didn't like where he thought this was going. "Don't waste your time."
Now Jack's face was full of confusion, "What?"
"She used to look at me like that," Harry breathed.
"What are you going on about?" Jack's accent was thick, he knew exactly what Harry was talking about. Jack had always struggled with trying to hide his affection for her in front of other people so it was no surprise that Harry had put two and two together, he just couldn't help it. But he wasn't about to admit that in front of someone who was effectively Nikki's ex.
"You and Nikki," Harry said bluntly.
"You've got no idea what you're talking about," Jack tried to stop his jaw from clenching, he wasn't going to lose his temper or get aggravated or annoyed. He was going to be calm and collected and he was going to let Harry talk about whatever he was going to talk about, he clearly wanted to let his feelings be known.
"I know that look," Harry continued. "I stared at it for the best part of eight years. You have her heart and trust me you don't want to lose that. Tell me to shut up but please just do something about it before you regret it."
"What, like you do, you mean?" Jack snapped.
Harry bowed his head briefly before looking back up at Jack again, "Something like that. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my life for the world, I have an amazing wife and two wonderful children. But there are some days where I sit there and wonder about what could've been if I'd just said something. Done something," he stopped. "I can see you care about her a lot, you're very protective of her and you have every right to think that I'm talking through my arse, but it makes me so happy that she's found someone like you because I can imagine that you're not scared to put her in her place from time to time. Because let's face it, Nikki does need to be told no sometimes and I doubt she's changed all that much from when I was here. Forever getting herself into trouble."
A small smile flashed across Jack's face at that, "Has she said anything?"
"She didn't have to and neither do you," Harry spoke before being interrupted again by Sam for the second time that day. She was joined by Nikki shortly after, in her own clothes now. Harry walks over to the counter, picking up their mugs, handing them one each.
"So how long have I got you then?" Nikki asked, blowing gently on her tea to cool it down.
Harry pulled his arm out, looking down at the watch that sat on his wrist, "Well, I've got another three hours until I have to be at the airport."
"That's enough time for some lunch don't you think?" Her eyes flicked over to Jack who's mind seemed to be elsewhere. "Jack, do you want to join us? My treat," He simply shook his head, struggling to string some words together. "Right, I'll get my stuff," she huffed, slightly bewildered at Jack's lack of reaction, it wasn't like him to turn down free food. She pulled a face before she headed back through to the locker room to retrieve her bag and coat.
Harry glared at Jack, "Don't forget what I said," was the last thing that came from Harry's mouth before Nikki returned to the offices once again and they made their way out of the Lyell for the afternoon.
Sam turned to Jack, a puzzled look on her face, "What was that about?"
"A reminder to get my act together," Jack breathed, standing up and walking towards the place where he knew he'd be able to clear his head.
As he walked into the locker room, he circled around the punch bag, debating whether or not he wanted to be stupid and hit it with his bare hands or if he should be wiser and pull out the gloves from his locker. Deciding that it was probably better to use the gloves he reached into his locker, revealing the two black gloves sitting there. He flexed his hand out as he looked down at the faint cuts, his knuckles were only just healing from the last time he let his anger out on the bag. That was the first time in a long time that he'd gone raw and it killed his hands, they were in agony for days. He unbuttoned the flannel he had on, letting it drop to the floor, goosebumps running over his skin as the chill in the room attacked him. He slipped his hands into the gloves. Pacing back and forth, he hyped himself up before taking the first swing. The crash of his glove connecting with the bag reverberated around the room, Jack groaned as the swung the second hit. He could almost feel the emotion that surged around him, travelling down his arms and escaping with each punch. He was hitting the emotions out of himself. The more he thought of Nikki, the more he found to be frustrated at himself, frustrated with himself for not finding the courage to just talk to her and tell her how he was really feeling. His punches started slowing as he felt the tears flowing, rolling down his cheek. He leaned his forehead against the bag, breathing heavily. He ripped the gloves off, throwing them down on the floor. He found himself shouting as he pushed his hands against the locker, fighting the temptation to kick the wall.
"I fucking love her Sam," he spoke, feeling her presence behind him.
"I know you do," she replied softly. "So do something about it, take her out, do whatever. Just do something because not doing anything is killing you and it's driving me insane."
He felt his body relax as he faced Sam, the sheen of tears on his cheek clear, "But what if she says no? I don't know if I will be able to move on from that."
"You won't know unless you find out," she offered him a gentle smile. "But something tells me that she won't say no, she'll probably be over the moon. She loves you too Jack and it baffles me that you seem to think she doesn't."
"I'm scared," he sighed, the tightness in his throat increasing. "What if it goes wrong? I love her so much," he sat down on the bench, resting his head in his hands. "I love the way you can see the cogs turning in her head as she's cracked the case. The way she puts everyone first before herself and it's nearly killed her every time but that doesn't matter to her because it's meant she's saved someone else. I even love the way she smiles when she doesn't think anyone is looking at her."
Sam sat down next to him, resting her palm on his shoulder, comforting him as he poured his heart out to her, letting the tears flow freely now.
"I just don't think," he started again, coughing as he steadied his voice. "I don't think I will be able to get over her if it goes wrong."
"Jack, I'm going to give you some advice," Sam breathed. "You don't know that it's going to go wrong, you can't know that. And you can't live your life thinking about the what ifs because quite frankly you're not going to get anywhere in life. You and Nikki work, in the short time that I've known you. Well, I'm very surprised that it's taken you until now to realise it. And if something does go wrong, I can promise you it won't break you and her. You two have been through too much for something as mundane as a failed relationship to completely end you. You and Nikki are, dare I say, soulmates. Anyone can see that, even Harry does and from what I can gather those two were pretty close. Just speak to her."
Jack nodded, taking a deep breath, wiping at his eyes, "Thank you."
"Anytime," Sam smiled, patting him on the shoulder before standing up and leaving Jack to sort himself out.
