He looked in the mirror as he buttoned his shirt up, dreading the coming hour. He couldn't effortlessly make conversation with Remus and pretend nothing had happened between them. He couldn't meet those amber eyes and see anything other than Remus telling him that he'd mistaken the man's affection for romantic love, and that he should leave. And although he'd already avoided him successfully for a few days, he still worried he'd be forced to speak to him before he was ready.
He pushed his fingers through his mess of hair, and assessed his reflection. He wouldn't be able to look any better today.
Harry entered the Great Hall. Dull chatter hummed through the air from the four house tables. The staff table was mostly quiet.
Severus looked up from his meal and met his gaze. He glanced to the seat beside him and back to Harry. An invitation? It didn't matter. Harry's feet had already made a straight line, and before he could think on it too long, he took his place beside the man.
"Thank you," Harry told him. He wasn't sure what he was thinking him for. For opening the door for him two nights prior? For the encouragement? For allowing him to sit by him?
Severus inclined his head just a bit and turned his attention to his tea.
Harry heaped food onto his plate, not even sure of what he was taking. He desperately wanted to look down the table to see Remus. Did he, too, look ridiculously tired from loss of sleep the previous nights? Or did he look well-rested and unaffected?
As if reading his mind, Severus leaned his head a bit closer to Harry's. "Don't," he whispered. "Have dignity."
"Get out of my head," Harry hissed in return, not looking at him.
"Are your occlumency guards not in place?"
"Of course they are."
"Then perhaps I am not in your mind, and you are simply all-too-easy to read."
Harry glared at him then. Severus smirked, looking infuriatingly self-satisfied.
"Are you, or are you not The Saviour of the Wizarding World?"
Harry's eyebrows furrowed. He so detested being called that, but he nodded meekly.
"Then act like it."
Harry learned Severus was left-handed the previous night, as his right hand continuously bumped into Severus's left as they ate. The man never indicated that he was annoyed by it, for which he was grateful. His words were particularly nasty when he was annoyed.
It was a large reason for why they'd barely spoken, despite Harry having been teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts for five years now. Severus so hated to be bothered, and it seemed as though Harry's entire presence bothered him. Harry made it a priority to stay out of his way. It was easier than the bickering that would surely ensue.
But the quiet ease they found sitting together at breakfast was calming and pleasant. Perhaps Harry should have run to him crying years sooner. Harry smiled to himself at the thought.
Soon the one breakfast together had become three meals a day for several weeks. Halloween was quickly approaching, and the students were excited. The Great Hall was deafeningly loud at supper, everyone talking about their plans for the extra day off from classes.
Severus and Harry had taken to speaking quietly between themselves at meals, but it was so loud tonight that they could speak in normal tones and still have the same level of privacy. Not that they particularly needed it. They didn't talk about anything of importance.
Since Harry had learned to avoid Remus, Severus had stopped chiding him about the matter and their conversation had evolved to encompass other areas of interest.
Now they spoke about lesson plans, other residents of Hogwarts, their individual research projects, and even quidditch on occasion. Harry learned Severus had a secret passion for it, and he'd even admitted to following Ginny's professional career and supported her success.
Harry cut into his chicken and idly thought how he wished he'd found this friendship with Severus sooner, but his thoughts were cut short by the feeling of eyes boring into him.
He could often feel when eyes lay on himself a bit too long. It might be a leftover talent from his years as a child thrown into the limelight, or fighting a war for as long as he had. Regardless of why, he felt eyes on him now. As if sensing the tension inside of Harry, Severus looked at him. He looked over Harry's shoulder and back to him.
"Tell me who you are," Severus commanded.
"I am Harry Potter."
"And you will let no man affect you."
Harry grimaced. He couldn't fight the urge. He turned.
Remus's eyes met his. The older man offered him a small, apologetic smile. It wasn't Remus's fault that he didn't want Harry. He shouldn't make the man feel bad for it, should he?
He smiled in return. He could see the relief on his face that Harry's smile had offered him.
Harry turned back to Severus. He rolled his eyes at him.
"I couldn't help it."
"You have abysmal self-control."
"Yeah, yeah."
It'd truly been a confusing few weeks, to say the least. Harry had once sought out every moment he could with Remus. Now he avoided him. Severus had suggested that Remus might have a hesitancy about Harry that didn't involve emotions. Perhaps he did return Harry's feelings but there were other factors that kept him away. Somehow, that made it worse. It made it harder to face Remus, more complicated.
Severus's company now filled the hole left by Remus. Harry thought maybe some part of him sensed that he'd be able to find comfort in the man that night, and that's why he'd awoken him, to literally cry on his shoulder. His sixteen-year-old self would have retched at the thought. He huffed out a chuckle beneath his breath and shook his head.
"What do you find so amusing this evening?" Severus asked between sips of tea.
"Us." He braced himself, expecting Severus to quip about how there was no 'us' and Harry was a nuisance. Instead, Severus said, "Ah. Yes." As if he understood completely.
"I have quite a bit of marking to do tonight."
"As do I, but involving vials of potions. My office, then?"
Harry smiled. He leaned over just enough to touch his shoulder to Severus's affectionately. "Sounds great. See you in a bit?"
Severus took his last bit of tea then stood and left the table. Once Severus was out of the Great Hall, Harry dared another glance at Remus. He stared straight ahead as he chewed. He'd been quiet, not even speaking to Minerva or Hagrid.
He missed him. Christmas was approaching and they'd both be going to visit with Sirius for the holiday. He hoped their relationship might be better by then. He felt lost without the man's presence, and replacing him with Severus's friendship didn't make him feel any less so. If anything, he only felt confused.
He allowed himself to watch Remus just a moment longer. Trying to act as if he wasn't in love with the man was potentially the most difficult task he'd taken on in his tumultuous twenty-seven years of life.
He finally stood and followed Severus from the room.
Severus lifted a student's vial in one hand and his own in the other. He held them both to the light to compare the colours and consistencies. He made a thoughtful look, replaced the student's vial on the top shelf, then wrote a note on the parchment to his left.
"Seventh years doing well so far this year?"
"I always have hope," he said, his voice flat. "I am always disappointed."
"Did I disappoint you my last year?"
Severus looked at him. "Not at all."
Harry beamed.
"Because I had incredibly low standards for you in the first place."
Harry laughed. "Prat."
Severus grinned and turned his attention back to the potions. The man always made the same face when he was marking. He'd set his jaw and narrow his eyes. Severus tucked a stand of hair behind his ear and bent over to write a few more notes.
He wasn't beautiful. But he was uniquely handsome when one took the time to really look at him. And his personality, now that Harry was beginning to really know him, made him even more appealing.
Harry wondered if maybe he'd be up for a shag. Then immediately groaned. Was he really so desperate for affection that he was considering Severus Snape as a bed partner? How sad.
"I can hear you thinking. You think too loudly," he said, without looking at Harry.
"I was thinking I need a shag. Interested?"
"Now who's the prat?" Severus retrieved his wand and flicked it in Harry's direction, splattering him with cold water.
Harry removed his glasses and dried them on the hem on his shirt. "Still you."
"There are pubs, you know."
Harry wasn't sure what to say.
Severus continued. "Gay ones, even."
"In Hogsmeade?"
"London. Are you finished?"
Harry looked at his stack of essays still left to mark. "Close enough."
"Come on, then." He crossed his arms over his chest.
"Where to?"
"Didn't I just tell you there are pubs?"
"You're going to help me get laid?"
"You're crass. Neither of us have very many free evenings, so are you coming or not?"
"I need to get dressed." He stood from Severus's desk and grabbed the stacks of essays. Severus looked him up and down. "Your clothes are acceptable."
"Are you wearing your robes into London?" Severus rolled his eyed and tapped his hip with his wand, transfiguring his black robes into black jeans and a black, silk button-up shirt.
The look suited the man, the trousers especially.
