Moxxie scratched the side of his nose as he kept the wheel steady.
The entire group was arriving in Pentagram City inside a red minivan. Moxxie and Millie's red minivan. What's funny is that Moxxie and Millie really wanted a convertible, but after Blitzo twisted Moxxie's arm, and after Millie joined in on the torment, Moxxie had no choice but to settle for the large car. Not often do they even use it as a group, but Millie still felt the need to paint large I.M.P letters on the sides.
Loona and Blitzo were sitting in the backseat, looking at each other in disapproval. After a little discussion amongst themselves, Loona took out her phone and activated the bluetooth.
The silence was broken by the disruptive and distorted synths on the radio, which Loona had control of.
watch?v=bvNLFpwAdBc
Moxxie jumped at the sudden noise, but once he realized what he was listening to, he grinned and glanced at the rearview mirror.
"Bravo, you took up our recommendation?"
Loona nodded with a smirk.
"Headless
I skid like Rita lifted ocean
I drift like my planet don't spin
I skid all over marks like I'm haunted
Rev it up, twirl my la-la like profits"
Millie raised the air conditioning. For some odd reason, the dumpster fires that they were driving past had grown intense compared to the last time they arrived. Blitzo lovingly stared out the window and was astounded by the sight of the homeless.
"Sir, I hope I don't trouble you by asking, but what is this 'appointment' of yours, and why is it so urgent?"
Blitzo removed his face from the window and turned to the driver's seat.
"Oh, that? Pssh, it's nothing. Nothing too batshit insane."
Moxxie stroked his chin. The imp was once again a clean-shaven man, due to the demands of his wife. As much as Millie enjoyed seeing her husband try new things, the stubble beard was a mere presage to her. She did not understand why, but she had a bad feeling about the way Moxxie would turn out over the next few weeks.
"So it's not...nothing?"
Blitzo stuttered. "W-Well it's not nothing, yes, but it's nothing too crazy. Not crazy enough for you to worry."
Moxxie interrogated his boss further.
"So this nothing...is not nothing. It's something that isn't too crazy, but it is crazy?"
Millie chimed in as she put her hand on his shoulder.
"No, sweetie. It's something. That something ain't nothing, but it ain't too much of a something that'd be something too crazy. It's just nothing too crazy."
Loona looked around with an annoyingly confused expression.
Moxxie thought to himself again.
"But see, if he's doing something that isn't nothing, and that something is nothing too crazy, wouldn't you be worried that this something is crazy, just not to an extent where that would be something too crazy? Because he did say this something was nothing too crazy."
Millie chuckled.
"I mean, that something is something that we've all done before, and if this something is nothing too crazy, then this something will be nothing we will have to worry abo-"
Loona put her hands to his ears and pointed her snout upward. She's had enough.
"OH MY CHRIST, CAN EVERYBODY JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!?"
Everybody was silent.
Blitzo cleared his throat and turned to a pissed off Loona.
"Now Loona, that's no way to behave around here. We're going to Pentagram City. Least you can do is act like you've been there before."
Loona groaned and pointed to the front view.
"We're not even fifteen fucking minutes within the shits" she said silently.
Blitzo snickered. "I know, Loonie, but it doesn't hurt to rev up that engine. Say, where are you crazy kids going for tonight?"
Moxxie turned his head slightly. "We have a dinner reservation at 8PM. Beelze-Bistro. Do not barge in this time, please."
Blitzo's lips puckered and his head nodded. "Goddamn, that's one hell of a reservation. How long did you guys have to wait?"
Loona scratched her head. "The morning after the casino."
The boss turned to his hound in confusion. "Huh!?"
Millie turned to the back. "Well it's a funny story, sir…"
Loona scoffed. "They wanted to repay me for giving them back their $8,000 prize—"
"$18,000."
She nearly choked on her own spit. "W-WHAT!? THAT WAS $18,000?"
Millie nodded.
The hound turned to the window with her fist below her chin.
"Godfuckingdamnit. I'll need a lot more than dinner for us to get even."
Moxxie and Millie looked at each other. They had a hard time thinking how else they can repay the debt.
—
Moxxie pulled up to a desolate area in the plainfields south of the city. Blitzo hopped out of the mini-van and walked up to the driver's side. The window rolled down as Moxxie stared at the boss with sincerity.
"Okay, sir, this place is not too far from where we are going. Just make your way back downtown and we will meet you there. Be safe."
Blitzo nodded. He was about to turn back around, but Moxxie tapped the side of the door to catch his attention.
The employee opened the car console and grabbed a pistol out of it. He handed it to his boss and raised his eyebrow.
"I'm serious. Dead. Serious."
All Blitzo could do was gulp.
"Okay, have fun!"
Moxxie slammed the gas pedal and drove off in a hurry. The driver pumped his fist in the air.
"Yes! No Blitzo for the night, no problem! Right, sweetie?"
Millie groaned and put her hand to her chin.
"Why do you hate him so much, Moxxie? Remember back when ya' had nothin'? That man is our boss, yet he's done so much good for both of us, and for the company. Least we can do is show him some respect."
Moxxie looked back at the front view. He clearly had no idea how to respond to the peeved Millie.
Loona chuckled.
"Smooth move, fuckboy."
Moxxie turned to the hound and swung his fist around.
"YOU CUT THAT OUT! STOP CALLING ME THAT!"
—
Blitzo walked up to the peak of a small cliff in the plainfields. He held his hand above his eyes and examined the region. Nobody appears to be around yet.
He groaned. He knew that he should of stayed at home, or better yet, crash the reservation and surprise the rest of his co-workers.
The boss took out his phone and examined his home screen.
Nothing.
Out of nowhere, he was ambushed and tackled down to the bottom by a mysterious figure.
Blitzo gasped as he lost air in his lungs from the 9 ft. landing. He pulled out his pistol and flashed it in front of the person's face.
"Woah woah woah woah! Calm down there, bro!"
A feminine slim imp with a sleeveless striped top and large horns surprised Blitzo. The voice was a female duplicate of Blitzo's, only with a higher pitch. Instantly, he recognized her.
"...Barbie?"
It was Barbie Wire. Blitzo's twin sister.
She laughed nervously and patted him on the shoulder.
"It's great to see you again, Blitz-o."
He sighed.
"Call me Blitz."
She nodded with a smile. "Ok Blitzo ("o" is silent this time)."
—
The three walked out. Moxxie had his typical work attire this time, Millie had a slit black dress and pearls, while Loona had a red spiked jacket and long black spiked boots.
Moxxie walked up to the "valet" and threw his keys at him.
"You know what to do."
Unbeknownst to Moxxie, there weren't any valets in Hell, contrary to what television shows.
…
"WAIT A MINUTE."
Moxxie lunged at the random demon in the black tuxedo and took him down. They wrestled for the keys before Moxxie whipped out his pistol and shot the man's brains out.
He panted heavily and retrieved the keys. Then, he turned to the minivan, which was parked on the side of the parking garage.
The imp shrugged. "What's the worst they can do?
They all entered inside. The big letters BEELZE-BISTRO loomed over a black awning. The exterior was light brown brick combined with thick black window frames.
Once they entered, they looked around in awe. Crystal chandeliers, burgundy carpets, marble floors, silk white table cloth, and the most comfortable black armchairs money can buy.
Moxxie couldn't help but shed a tear. He lived for this kind of stuff.
The white haired waitress approached them. She had a gold earring, a white buttoned down shirt, and a black tie. It appears she was occupied with a notebook in her hands.
"Hello there, you have a reservation?"
He nodded as he tried to keep his posture. "Moxxie, party of four."
She looked up from the notebook.
"And will the fourth one join us later tonight?"
Loona stood next to Moxxie and spoke up. "Eeeeyup."
—
"Beer?"
Barbie offered Blitzo a can from the cooler she took with her. Apparently she wasn't parked too far. The boss took up her offer and examined the can.
"You know how to open it, right?"
Blitzo smirked and opened the can. He poured a large stream into his mouth and took it like it was nothing.
He shot her a sarcastic look. "Erm...I think so."
Barbie laughed as she opened her can and took a sip. Once her thirst was quenched, she looked back at her brother with dozens of questions on her mind.
"Say, how's the high life?"
Blitzo turned to her and groaned. Just like Tilla, she went straight to reminding the imp of his shattered dreams. However, he had a good feeling it was unintentional this time, so he did not want to be an asshole about it.
"Shits not panning out. That's all you need to know."
She swirled her can around and gazed into the stars. "Yeah, I see what you mean. I don't even wanna talk about how shitty it's been without you around."
"Heh, I doubt it."
Barbie sighed. "Ever since you dipped, Pops has been hard on me recently. I guess it's cuz he only has one person to take his anger out on. It's tough. Tilla's no different."
Blitzo snickered. "Oh man, I saw that bitch last week. Tough shit. She's got a gold thumb up her ass."
"Yeeeaaaah. For circus business, she takes things way too seriously, and it really pisses me off."
The boss took a rock from the ground and threw it across the field. A sloppy throw that barely went anywhere. It didn't even leave the peak.
Barbie sputtered. "Wow, you really haven't changed a bit, bro."
Blitzo looked down and playfully scowled at her. "Oh, get off my back, will ya'!?"
She laughed. Shortly after, she picked up a rock of her own, put her drink down, and launched a bullet that made its way out of the peak far before it reached the peak height.
The sister sat back down and took a sip of her beer. "I really wish I can leave just like you did. Even if it was going as bad as you say, being unsuccessful and independent is far better than eating caviar from a golden plate and being slaved away inside a shitty tent for the rest of your days. I just wish there was a way I can compromise and have both good qualities. That success, a-and independence, you know what I mean?"
He nodded. "Defo."
They stared into the distance. The skyline was fairly large, and the cars were loud. However, the sky stretched all around, and that's really all they cared about.
"Damn Blitzo, you used to be so talkative."
He turned to her. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. You wouldn't stop clamoring about your plans once you left that shithole. All that money, clothes, and hoes-"
He put his hand up. "Let me stop you right there for a sec, Barbs. I've been getting uhh...experimental lately."
Her head tilted. "Hmm?"
"You know,...improper."
She chuckled. "You're losing me, man."
He took a deep breath and let it all out in a loud and fast voice. "I'm gay, alright!?"
Barbie's eyes widened. She didn't know what to say. "O-Oh. Damn."
"Yeah, and it was a complete fucking accident. I tried to seduce this feathered fuck who was so obviously stuck in this closet. You might know him. His name is Stolas, and he is the prince of-"
She jumped up from the grass. "Stolas!? That fucking guy?" She laughed hysterically. "Oohhhhhh man! My bro is getting some of that royalty, haha!"
Then she paused once she looked at Blitzo again. His expression was disapproving. Barbie put her arms down.
"Not even close. It's a business relationship. All I did was try to get him to lend me the book, but I took matters into my own hands. I never meant to sleep with the guy."
She put her finger on her mouth. "Oh, I see. Has there been anyone else?"
Blitzo thought to himself and shuddered.
FLASHBACK
*yawn* Blitzo raised himself up.
The lamp turned on. Blitzo was caught by surprise once he found out he was right in between a certain couple in bed. And the worst part? None of them had clothes on.
"W-W-WHAAAT!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"
Millie giggled, as Moxxie threw the pillow from a fleeing Blitzo.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YOU GODDAMN PERVERT!"
"Sorrrryyyy!" Blitzo shut the door behind him.
Moxxie sighed, but started whining once he felt a great pain. He turned to Millie, who looked at him idly.
"W-W-Why does my ass hurt?"
Blitzo finally came back to reality and turned to Barbie. "Well that's irrelevant."
She chuckled. "Alright then. Man, I'm very sorry if I offended you or anything. It's just that...I am not used to talking to an...experimental person." Blitzo scoffed.
—
Millie looked around and tapped her fingers. She was starting to get bored of it all pretty fast, contrary to her husband, who felt like he was at Disneyland.
She turned to Loona, who posed with a glass full of wine next to her cheek. The hound stuck her tongue out and snapped the photo.
"Um, when is your friend coming?"
Loona groaned. "I don't know, but I seriously hope she fucking speeds it up. I can only drink so much wine before it starts."
Moxxie stopped savoring the view around the restaurant like a little child and turned to the hound.
"Before what starts?"
The waitress arrived at the table. "So, ladies and gentlemen, have we settled on something to drin-"
Loona spoke up as she continued tapping on her phone. "Mad Dog, in the size of a 1 liter bottle."
The waitress laughed nervously. "M'am, I don't believe that is how it wo-"
Moxxie groaned and took out a hundred dollar bill from his pocket. He waved it to the waitress. "Give the dog what she wants. She is the reason why we are here today."
Loona grinned. "Why thank you, Moxxie." She looked back up at the waitress. "And I better get it too."
The poor woman shrugged. "Okay then. What about the LADY from the table?"
The hound ignored her late jab, as Millie thought to herself just what she wanted. She knew for a fact that this selection would usually give Moxxie a heart attack, but they also had $18,000 to blow, so she wanted to see if he was still going to be conservative on the purchase.
"Hmmm...how about a bottle of Chateau Pontet-Canet? Oldest one ya' got."
Moxxie turned very fast to his wife. Millie thought she was in for it, but he started chuckling. He looked up at the waitress.
"Can't you believe it? I was fortunate enough to marry a woman with taste!"
The couple laughed, while the waitress couldn't help but break a smile.
"So I assume that's i-"
"Beringer Pinot Noir. I want this bottle to be older than my grandma."
The waitress nodded. "Alright. You three sure are an interesting bunch. I'll be back with your drinks!"
As she left, Moxxie turned to her. "Hey, thanks a lot! We really appreciate it!"
Then the imp looked back at Loona.
"I feel like perhaps we made it too hard for her?"
The hound couldn't care less. "Meh."
Then another hound stood over Loona and smothered her face with her meaty arms.
"Meh yourself, cabrona (fucker)!"
Moxxie groaned while Millie looked utterly confused by her husband's reaction.
Loona broke off the hold and jumped out of her seat. "Shraps!" The two hellhounds embraced as Shrapnel patted the other's back.
Moxxie cleared his throat and held up his watch. "You're late."
Shrapnel chuckled as she scratched her head. "My bad. I took the subway. Sorry I couldn't make it for the ride."
Loona turned to her friend as they both sat down. "You know, you shower longer than when snails fuck."
Millie couldn't help but sputter and laugh at the comment.
The hounds paused and looked at Millie funny.
She coughed and straightened herself out. "Sorry. I'm Millie."
Shrapnel smiled. "Well, is this the Millie that this little guy was talkin' about? Damn, she is a fucking chula (hottie)."
Moxxie raised from his seat and pounded his fist on the table, catching the attention of a few tables nearby. His high pitched voice filled the air. "What did you just say!?"
Shrapnel's hands were up. "Woah woah woah! That's nothing disrespectful, man.
Loona picked at her teeth. "Relax, fuckboy. She's saying your wife is beautiful."
Millie gasped quietly and smirked. Her face flushed with even more redness, as she put her hand below her lip. "Oh! Heh, thank you. I think you're darn' gorgeous too."
Moxxie felt embarrassed, and sat himself back down with wide eyes and an idle expression. He facepalmed. "I'm very sorry about that…"
Shrapnel laughed. "Hah, don't worry about it. You tried picking up chiefing?"
He shook his head.
Shrapnel clicked her tongue. "Well luckily this joint has a little smoking room. Wanna give some of this weed a try?"
Moxxie was surprised by the offer. He was a self-made man who honored his integrity and his intelligence. "Ummm, I don't think that will be necess—"
Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.
It was Millie. Her eyes were dead serious, and she was not having it. "Hun, you've done so much for me and you have been so responsible ever since we met. But I'm suggesting to you as yer' wife that you should take the edge off."
The husband gulped, then shot her a smile. This was technically the first time Moxxie would ever willingly try drugs.
"Okay...I'll give it a try."
Shrapnel clapped her hands together. "Alriiiight, we'll do it later. So, how long you two cuties known each other?"
Moxxie and Millie looked at each other. They turned to Shrapnel. "Four years."
Shrapnel's lips widened. She tried to give them an impression that she was impressed.
"Me and Loona have known each other since we were kids. Of course, we got separated, but the love's been there ever since, ya know?"
Loona rolled her eyes and smiled.
Moxxie nodded. "Interesting, and how come we haven't heard of you until now?"
Before Shrapnel could answer, Loona did the honors. "Because I have a private life that I keep to myself, jackass."
The imp clicked his tongue. "Tssk tssk. You know what is private? My avocado salad, you piggly wiggly mutt.
Loona growled, as Shrapnel and Millie held their own partners back from each other.
The two looked at each other and shared a nervous chuckle. Millie was still flushing from Shrapnel's earlier compliment.
—
Barbie crushed the can with her own head and threw it to the side. She was enjoying the conversation with her brother thus far, but it did not seem to be anything she expected. As for Blitzo, he was happy to reconnect with the only person he felt knew him best, but the day has been bittersweet between them thus far. The energy they both shared in their younger years appeared to have dissipated, as if the tides of time have washed it away.
"I'm scared, dude."
Blitzo turned to Barbie. "Wussat?"
Barbie sat down and put her arms around her legs. "I'm just...scared as to what I should do to get out of that fucking circus. I've had enough of it. How did you get out? Pops never told me.
Blitzo hummed to himself as he continued drinking. "I was thin enough to fit through the bars of a cage with a demon lion. Shit was crazy. If I didn't have a T-Bone steak with me that night, I would have been mincemeat."
The answer blew Barbie away. She slapped herself on the forehead. "Absolute genius! Why didn't I think of that!?"
The boss shrugged as he took more sips. Once he finished, he took a stick from the floor and held it up for her to see.
"I can't tell you how to get out. I can only tell you how to survive once you leave. You see this stick? This is you if you escape. You're out here, walking on red pastures and brimstone. Living your best life, right?" Barbie gave a slight nod as she continued providing her brother some attention. "These hands are risks. The beauty of risks is that you need to balance it out and give yourself just enough to continue." He began bending the stick slightly. "But if you put all of it on the line…"
He broke the stick and threw both pieces backwards.
"The point is, you should ponder less about how you're going to escape, and more about how you're going to live. You feel me? It's very easy to leave the location. It's a lot more difficult to figure out what to do once you've left the area. But whatever you do, don't ask for it all at once."
He looked back into the distance as Barbie smiled and gave him a hug, catching him by surprise.
"Thank you…"
Blitzo looked down at her and patted her head.
"Yeah. Don't scare me with those calls like that again."
She let go and looked at him with a defensive smile.
"Heeeey, aren't you a fan of cryptic bullshit?"
"Well yeah, but not when you sound like Liam Neeson."
They both stood up and walked back with Barbie pulling the handle of the cooler.
"Who's that?"
"Some old fart who does movies in the living world. Cool voice though."
"Oh. Do you think you can take me to the living world someday?"
Blitzo didn't know what to say. "Eeeehhhh...maybe one day."
—
Moxxie took a hit of the blunt. Once he blew the smoke, he coughed violently as his eyes turned red.
Shrapnel supported the imp with a few pats as he got the smoke out of his system.
"There there. You like that shit?"
He shook his head.
"I feel...wow."
The hound snickered as she took a hit herself and blew it with no trouble.
"Hey, does Loona talk about me often!?"
Moxxie turned to Shrapnel and giggled like a baby.
"She likes you, a looooot."
The hound shrugged. "Eh, I know that. We kissed before." That's when Moxxie coughed once more. He was in the middle of another hit.
"Wait what?"
Shrapnel took another hit. "You heard me, papi." Moxxie took a little while to process her words, and once it came to him, he jumped high in the air.
"Ohhhhhhhh shit! Ohhhh shit! Loona is gay?"
The other smokers looked at Moxxie, who nervously tugged on his collar and held his hand up. "Yeaaaaah, sorry guyssss."
Shrapnel facepalmed. "Motherfucker, do you have an inside voice?"
—
An hour later, the four finished their entrees with ease. Moxxie tapped his belly and received laughter from Millie, who was absolutely wasted from the bottle. It was already emptied.
And so was Moxxie's. Being high and being drunk was a combination that the imp never thought he'd ever face.
They groped each other as the couple began tongue-kissing. The table behind them was so disgusted, they asked a nearby waiter if they could move.
Loona and Shrapnel looked at each other. Their faces were completely flushed as well. The red-eyed hound was the first to break the silence.
"Oh my fucking God, I think I'm gonna pop…"
Shrapnel chuckled. "Same here...let's get out of here."
The hound turned to Moxxie and wanted to know one crucial thing.
"You gonna ask for that bill, homie?"
The imp was too busy savoring the taste of his wife's mouth that he didn't listen at all.
Loona groaned, and tugged the arm of the waitress, who was just walking by.
"We'll take the check."
The waitress nodded and went to go get it.
After a little more silence, Shrapnel shot Millie a stare. Loona thought it was creepy and just had to intervene.
"Um, just what the fuck are you doing?"
The blue-eyed hound smirked.
"Enjoying the view."
—
The van was now being driven by Loona, who did not have too much to drink. Shrapnel was sitting beside her.
Moxxie and Millie were just...well...laying on the backseats, continuing their makeout session.
Millie finally got off of Moxxie and rubbed their noses together.
"Oh, Mox…You're so much man to handle…" She made him moan as she latched onto his upper hip."
"Mille...come to me…"
She bit into his neck as they both proceeded to moan with lust. "Y-yeah?"
Moxxie looked down into her eyes.
"We're finally going to make it happen. You and me. Baby."
She giggled. "Moxxxx, you know I love it when you call me ba—"
He stopped her with a smirk. "I wasn't talking about you…"
They paused.
Then they began smashing their faces together and smothered each other with their love.
Loona couldn't help but gag a little once she saw them get very excited over the idea of making a little one. Shrapnel looked back at the backseat.
"Hmm...they're so goddamn cute, aren't they? You wanna get a piece of that action?"
The driver turned to her. She was in hysterics.
"WHAT!?"
Shrapnel shrugged and appeared desperate to plead her case. "You know! Just have a full-blown sesh with them? Maybe a little playtime with that muchacha (woman)? Because to be perfectly honest with you, I'd tickle Millie's snatchbox with my tongue, hehe."
Loona shook her head. "No way. That is sus as hell."
The blue-eyed hound froze and did a double take.
"D-D-Did you just—"
Without even knowing about the fact that she just severely offended her friend, she took it as a joke. "Yep. Low key sus."
Shrapnel sputtered.
"Don't you remember the casino, pendeja (dumbass)?"
Loona raised her eyebrows. She had a hard time remembering. "No, I don't recall that night…Hey, there's Blitz—"
"Pull the car over."
Now the driver was very confused. They saw Blitzo right there by the entrance ramp to the southbound freeway. She had no idea why Shrapnel was being very serious about this.
But she did pull the car over, like she was eventually going to do within seconds.
Shrapnel got out of the mini-van and looked back at Loona. "You get out too."
The hound shrugged and unlocked the door. She unstrapped her belt and hopped out. Blitzo was standing right to her left, getting ready to enter the mini-van.
"Hey, Loonie! Good news, I met your aun—"
That's when Shrapnel arrived to the left side of the vehicle. She walked up to Loona as they shared a stare between each other. Shrapnel looked pissed off, while Loona was just flat out confused.
Then Shrapnel went up to her face and kissed her mouth to mouth, with Blitzo right there.
"Oh...what the fuuuuuuuck?"
