It was an abnormally peaceful evening in Imp City. Nobody carried out a heist nineteen hours into the day, the labor force inside the town were just leaving work to go to their homes, and the homeless were setting up fires to survive the night. The city was out of reach from the infamous turf wars ever since the stationing of multiple "guards" in the area, otherwise known as professional thugs and assassins.

Out of nowhere, a loud noise emerged from the south side of town. The music blared from the speakers, filling the air through the crowded streets. The mini-van made a sharp right turn and caught the attention of every nearby imp as it skidded back into its course.

"Oh my god!

I ain't done shit, all my life

I'm about to spend four, 'bout five

I'm about to spend all this money

Oh my god!

I ain't done shit, all my life

I'm about to spend four, 'bout five

I'm about to spend all this money"

The van then swerved to the right and crashed onto a nearby bank. The collision managed to kill four nearby imps in suits that were just walking out of the building. Shortly after, the vehicle backed out of the bloody mess and continued going straight.

Laughter filled the van, as Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona found amusement in the flattening of the presumably wealthy imps. They shared high fives and fist bumps, as Moxxie continued stepping hard on the gas pedal with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand holding a bottle of vodka. He occasionally passed it over to Millie, who would swallow a large amount, hand it back, and the cycle continued.

"Was pretty bad before, now I'm just reckless

Apple Ciroc for dinner, lunch and breakfast

You know how it goes if you got it better spend it

And if you ain't got it I suggest you go and get it"

They all rode into the sunset.

VOLUME TWO

"Hello!? Are you ever gonna fucking pick up?"

Silence. The voice moved on to another question. "...Bird dick is right around the corner, huh?"

A quiet voice answered from the other line. "Yep…" Blitzo just received a call from his adopted hellhound/proclaimed daughter, who was roaming the streets downtown with Shrapnel. He was sitting on the edge of a bed. Not his bed, just a very familiar bed with feathers scattered all around it underneath a big castle. Stolas was still asleep at this time, now that his wife and child had left him after they found out who was moving in.

The imp had a bottle of scotch on one hand. He stared at it funny, not even realizing that he was drinking out of it at all. His mind was all over the place ever since "The Contract". He was never known as a big spender. Whenever he had some money left over, he just purchased splashed it all on alcohol and maybe the occasional ganja, and this instance was no exception at all. He and Stolas had a few hits of the blunt last night, and it compelled them to experience a whole night's worth of binge-watching movies and listening to music whilst high.

Loona smiled when she finally heard Blitzo's voice. She looked to Shrapnel, who gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up. The hound turned her snout back forward and kept her ear open. "I just wanna thank you for allowing me to do this. I know it sounds fucking corny and shit, but I'm gonna have the time of my life thanks to you."

The response received a bright smile from the imp. "Loona...wow...I'm gla-"

He was promptly interrupted. He heard a gun cock from the other line. It was Shrapnel. "Let's do this shit, perra!" Loona chuckled, and turned her attention back to the conversation. "Heh, that's Shraps. I gotta go right now. Once again, thanks. I won't be gone for too long, don't worry."

"Alright, Loonie. Have fun, I love y-"

She hung up. Blitzo exhaled as he put the bottle on his lips.

"Oh fuck…"

*slurp*

"Oh fuuuuckk...don't go too fast, baby, I'm gonna-"

Gag reflex. The imp only had his white top on, and speaking of "top", he was also getting the best top of his life. The reflex was too good for him to withstand. After one tiny drop slipped out of him, the entire floodgates opened.

Moxxie whimpered at first, then he started moaning heavily. Millie felt the stream travel down her gullet. After she was finished, she wiped her mouth, smirked at him, and stood back up. Moxxie slumped onto the bed, still panting from the sweet release. He rubbed his eyes and stretched his body left and right.

Millie put on her pants and yawned as she sat down and kissed Moxxie on the cheek. He blushed and put an arm around her. The imp used his other arm to stretch out towards the drawer on his nightstand and took out a wad of cash. About $2,000 tied up.

They stared at the money in hunger, thinking as to what they will use it on. Moxxie wanted to move out to a better house, while Millie...wanted to do exactly that. They both looked at each other and nodded. The couple knew exactly what to do.

Then Moxxie tapped Millie on the shoulder. She looked at him with confusion. He raised his finger.

"You still have some on your upper lip."

Blitzo tapped the table impatiently. He wanted to give everybody the day off, unless it was Loona, then it was a whole week. He fanned himself with a stack of cash he had in his pocket.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. He jumped out of his seat and rushed over to get it. The imp opened the door and was greeted by a multitude of powerful overlords in custom made jackets, hats, scarfs, rings, bling, etcetera etcetera. There were about fifteen. None of them said a word. They were all frowning, dreading the fact that they had to come here to receive an update on their contracts.

"Welcome, your Highnesses and Highnessette...ses... (ah fucking hell)"

A female reptile with a white bowler hat groaned. Blitzo was sweating bullets as he put his hand up and laughed off the embarrassing display. He was trying his best, but it was hard to act calmly when his life was at risk every second he was around the overlords.

They all looked down and realized there weren't enough seats around the table. They appeared dumbfounded and angrily turned to the imp, who was still chuckling nervously to the point where a tear left his eye. He was roughly 70% sure he was going to die.

"Alright...heh heh...now you're all wondering why you're here-"

A plump demon with a walrus mustache and a top hat grunted. "The email said you were going to talk to us about our contracts, dipshit."

Blitzo winced at the curse, and did some sort of nod as a way to express his modest apology. He coughed to himself and tried to gather his thoughts, but it was hard with everybody else shaking their heads in disbelief. This was the person handling their contracts, and it seemed like the only thing he was butchering right now was his own presentation.

"Uhm...I can't really...put into words how much the mone-I mean the contract-how generous it was of the-you guys to choose us, the I.M.P, to do your cunt-contracts-"

The reptile slammed her fist on the table. "GET IT ON WITH, DAMNIT! TIME IS MONEY!"

Murmurs filled the room. "Can you believe this guy?" "This is the fucker?" "He's the bloke who's gonna murder my ex?"

Blitzo continued pouring sweat. He jerked his head left to right repeatedly. He had no idea what to do.

Then he heard her voice.

"Awh, little baby gonna cry?"

A 12 year old Tilla kicked the ball around, juggling it in front of a young defeated Blitzo, who was barely entering the age of 10. He dug his face onto his hands, and continued sobbing loudly as he tried to nurse his wound. He fought through tears. "G-Give me my ball!"

All his older sister could do was laugh as she continued juggling the ball with ease. One kick sent the ball straight up and landed on the poor boy's head. Blitzo instantly held his head and leaned back in pain, crying louder than he initially was.

Tilla scoffed and stood above him. "Hey bitch boy, man the fuck up!"

"G-G-G"

She grabbed the imp by his striped shirt and scowled at him.

"I can't hear you!"

Blitzo's eyes narrowed. He put on his game face and gripped his hands. He was not going to deal with this shit again. The imp then turned around swiftly and wiped everything on the whiteboard. Charts, cartoon faces, hearts, betting odds, and drinking tallies were all wiped out within three seconds.

The murmurs stopped. The overlords turned to Blitzo and suddenly switched back to blank expressions. They were all ears for this one now that the once idle boss was going to work with the board.

With the whiteboard marker, he drew a set of dates from January 15 to 31. Today was January 14.

JAN 15 JAN 23 JAN 31

JAN 16 JAN 24

JAN 17 JAN 25

JAN 18 JAN 26

JAN 19 JAN 27

JAN 20 JAN 28

JAN 21 JAN 29

JAN 22 JAN 30

Blitzo turned around and put his finger up. "Alright, everybody. Below every date, your names will be written in. We have worked hard to ensure our dates were fair to all, considering that we ordered this shit from the amount of bucks you folks had to splash. The one with the most moolah on their targets head will have their contract done by the end of January 15. Now, I know I got off to a slow start. I mean, I'll be hella honest with you guys, my brain sank to my ass. However, I'll be here to answer any lingering questions you guys have. No bullshit."

A regular looking penguin from the back with a bowtie, a monocle, and fire in its eyes and red flippers put his limbs up for everyone to see. "Hot damn!" Another demon with a tall and lanky figure, a tuxedo, a fedora, and a cane raised his hand. "So what you're saying is that the most expensive contracts come first?" Blitzo nodded. He had a firm look.

Suddenly, a mysterious voice emerged from the very back where nobody could see. "How much is your top contract?"

The boss held onto his chin. "Umm...I'd say the Penguin Demon paid $6M."

The voice chuckled.

"Pathetic. I'll do ya one even better."

Moxxie and Millie stood there while a handsome real estate agent with straight brown hair and a vest tried sweet-talking them into buying a two story log cabin with a patio and a nicely trimmed yard. The problem was that there were way too many issues within the interior. From ripped carpets to cracks on the wall, it looked like hell, and they should know.

The agent rubbed his hands together. "I know it ain't look pretty on the inside, but nothing like a good paint job won't fix!"

Millie tilted her head to the side. She pointed behind him. "And what about those menacing thugs outside the window?"

That's when the agent panicked. "OH SHIT!" He suddenly shoved them out of the way and hastily opened the front door. Once he walked out, his head was blown off by a sawed-off shotgun nearby. The thugs walked around and arrived at the front porch, where they went to retrieve his body.

One of the thugs looked up and saw the couple. His face was covered by his hoodie, but they were able to see his bright smile.

"Daaaamn! You two are fuckin' cute togetha'!"

Millie blushed and turned to Moxxie. He sighed and took his phone out of his pocket as the thugs transported the body and stuffed it inside the trunk of their car.

"I'll call up the next person."

"Wait, you're being serious?"

The Gunslinger Demon. He tipped his white ten gallon hat and shot one of his revolvers onto the ceiling. Blitzo didn't care at all. He can only put it in his thoughts as (fuckin' retardo awesome) to see the demon sitting on one of his chairs in his own building.

"Yessire. I ain't given ya' anythin' yet there, hoss. But I wanna put my chips in for a total of $20M."

Twenty freakin' million.

Blitzo was blown away by the offer. There was no way he was going to let this one slip from his hands.

A short and slim female real estate agent lured the couple into an empty room.

"And here we have the guest bedroom. Nothing too crazy. Just the right size for somebody crashing in, like a friend...or a co-worker…"

The words of the agent annoyed Moxxie. He couldn't fathom the thought of having Blitzo coming over for their new house, especially when it has a guest bedroom. It will be a key piece in the boss' arguments for years to come.

Moxxie did not look pleased at his own thoughts. The agent saw this and opened her mouth, then she closed it again. She was trying to analyze the thought process behind the imp while also thinking of a feasible selling point that the guest bedroom can bring.

She snapped her fingers. "Do you two have any children?"

The couple looked at each other. Millie's eyelids sank halfway down. She was not going to let this be a glimmer of hope for him, especially when they talked about this dozens of times.

Regardless, the agent brought a lot more to the conversation as she continued to make a good point.

"If you two have a little imp, this could be a great playplace for the little tyke. Toys, a drawing table, maybe some basic...instruments? Xylophones, maybe?"

Moxxie turned to her again.

He beamed, but she merely looked down and sighed.

It was going to be a long trip home.

—-

Millie stared out the window as they were traveling southbound. Moxxie had a quiet little tune on the radio to ensure that the ride home wouldn't be completely awkward, but it was not helping at all.

He coughed as he focused on the road. "Do you want to talk about it?" She shook her head. "No, I don't think I will."

Silence.

Moxxie's phone rang right on top of the car console. Millie grabbed it for him and picked up the call. "Hello, baby-makin' wife with an existential crisis speakin'!" The sarcasm in her voice caused Moxxie to groan.

Blitzo was on the other line.

"Funky Chicken. 7PM. I got some news that'll blow you fuckers away."