! Important: Please read my Disclaimer (Chapter 1)
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Chapter 6
Even though it was only the beginning of the game, Hikaru felt rather bored. This was the second time he'd ever played Kawasaki 3 – Dan. Hikaru had noticed that his opponent had been perspiring and at times visibly shaking from the moment they both kneeled down before the goban, and Kawasaki hadn't started out well at all. Hikaru remembered this; it had been the same when he'd played Kadowaki for the second time during Isumi's Shinshodan match. Kadowaki had been remembering Sai's strength in that game and the result had been quite clear to Hikaru. His opponent was afraid of him. It was obvious an easy win.
The lunch bell sounded, and Hikaru quickly rose from his seat. It was about time, he needed to get away. Without even glancing at the board or his opponent who remained seated, Hikaru turned and made his way towards the lunchroom.
Hikaru sighed deeply as thoughts of that day ran through his mind. Even Amano had seemed disappointed during the interview afterwards. Certainly he was cheerful and full of praise for both him and Akira, inquiring about how they'd met, thoughts on the future, reflections on the game they'd just played and so on. Still, Hikaru could tell that Amano had secretly been cheering for him, although whether it was out of a desire for a more convincing article with his victory over Akira or something more genuine, Hikaru didn't know, nor really, did he care all that much. What had mattered was Akira's assessment that Hikaru was beginning to play more and more on equal footing with him. The praise had been taken well by Amano, but then Hikaru had already known Akira's appraisal of him, he had his respect. Akira, I'll beat you one of these times. Someday soon.
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"I'm home!"
Removing his shoes as he entered the house, Hikaru glanced into the kitchen where his mother was preparing tea. Turning to look at his arrival, his mother said, "Oh Hikaru, you have a guest waiting for you in your room."
Cocking an eyebrow, Hikaru replied, "A guest? Who is it?"
"I don't know who she is. She said she was a friend of yours though, a real pretty girl. Now what was her name?"
Opening the door, Hikaru looked into his room to see Nase sitting near his bed, having looked up at him when the door opened. Taking a step in, Hikaru asked, "Nase, um… hello. What are you doing here?"
Standing up, Nase began to panic, replying hastily. "Oh, I'm sorry if I shouldn't have come. I got your address from Isumi, and your mother told me to wait in here. I… um, that is…"
Closing the door behind him, Hikaru moved towards the bed, stopping a few feet shy and said, "Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?"
Looking hesitant, Nase answered, "Well…" Hikaru motioned for her to have a seat as he slumped down on the floor next to his bed. Following suit, Nase continued, "I wanted to know… if you meant what you said before, about thinking that I would pass the pro exam this year?"
Rather surprised at this, Hikaru answered back, "Sure I did. You've gotten a lot stronger since the last time we played. I think you'll pass the exam more easily than I did. Don't you think you can pass the exam?"
Turning her head down and away from Hikaru, Nase wiped her hand along her eye. "I guess, it's just…I'm just not so sure… I'm eighteen this year, so if I don't pass then I can't stay an insei anymore."
"So what," Hikaru replied, "Isumi didn't pass when he was eighteen and he was still able to turn pro. You could always take the exam as an outsider."
Nase just sighed. "If I don't pass it this year, I don't know if I should keep trying. Iijima quit two years ago after he failed, and focused on college. I've been trying for so long, just like he did, and I still haven't passed. I'm just so scared and worried and…"
Concern swept across Hikaru's face. He'd passed the exam on his first try, so he'd never really given much thought on how hard it must be to stay an insei for so long. Sure back when Isumi had almost quit Hikaru had thought about it some, but at the time he'd had other things to focus on. Nase was almost in that same position now, of course she'd be worried. She was strong though, surely she could see that.
A shiver ran down Nase's spine as she went on, "I know I've gotten better. When you and Waya passed, I finished the exam with more losses than I did wins, then last year I finished with seven losses. Honda though only had six and passed. Back then I thought that had been my best chance, yet somehow I just couldn't give up Go, so I stuck it out. I just keep looking ahead and seeing this dark cloud of what could happen if I fail. I've been an insei for so long, been stuck in place without moving forward, and now I see the finish line coming, my chance to join you, Waya, Honda and Isumi in the pros, and yet if I miss it, stumble even a little…
"At the time I thought I'd give up on my dreams, but after playing a few more games in the Insei League, plus given the fact that I'd defeated Honda who had passed in the pro exam, I changed my mind. You said I've gotten stronger, and that I'll pass the pro exam this year…but I just don't know. Did you really mean it, Shindou?"
Seeing tears begin to well up in her eyes, Hikaru hesitated for a moment, then with energy in his voice to hopefully raise her spirits he said, "And I told you that I did mean it. You're a strong player Nase! You played with a lot of skill in our game, and had me sweating and everything! You'll pass the exam no problem."
Sniffing, Nase replied, "That's easy for you to say. After all, you've already passed the exam."
Stunned, Hikaru just looked at her as it appeared that tears were imminent. Crawling over towards the corner of his room, Hikaru grabbed his goban and pulled it over to the middle of the floor. "If you want, I'll help you improve your game until the Pro Exam starts."
Nase's head rose up in a flash and surprise covered her face. It was apparent that she had not expected this. "R-really? You'd do that? You'll help me… improve more?"
Hikaru scooted over to the bed again and smiling brightly answered, "Sure, that is if you think a 2 – Dan will be enough help. Any day that I don't have to work or have a game; I'll help you every day I can."
Biting her lip in a vain attempt to fight off the tears, Nase stared at Hikaru, who was just smiling at her like that. He really did have faith in her skills as a Go player. So much faith that he was willing to take time out of his own Go studies, despite all the important games he had coming, and help her gain strength. As the tears began to slide down her cheeks, Nase suddenly leapt forward and threw her arms around Hikaru, hugging him tightly. "Thank you. Thank you…"
Hikaru felt strangely uneasy with the hug… but given how teary Nase was, he decided to just stand still.
Note: Yes, you've might have recognised by now: this story is greatly based on Leitbur's fiction "The Never-ending road".
However, I don't use every chapters of "The Never-ending road" and decided to keep the scenes with the Go matches much shorter. There will be Nase in this story, too, but not anywhere nearly as much as in "The Never-ending road". She's the part of "Never-ending road" that I like the least. If you like her better, I'll recommend Leitbur's instead.
