A few hours passed and the sun was setting over the mountains. Dinner was set to be served in the next hour, and Padme was in her room pulling a light cloak over her shoulders to fend off the evening chill that was settling in. Or maybe it was her own nerves that made her unable to stop shaking.

Anakin promised to come to her, and she felt sick with anxiety. She knew she would feel better once he was there with her, she always did. She didn't want to dread seeing her own husband. She sat quietly at her vanity, lost in her own thoughts and not even realizing she had been staring at the same corner of the ornate rug for the past quarter of an hour.

There was a knock at her door. Didn't he say he would come after dinner?

Her heart caught in her throat and she hurried to the door, to open it and let him inside before anyone saw.

The Jedi that slipped noiselessly inside was not her husband.

"Forgive me," Obi-Wan whispered rapidly, shutting the door behind him without a sound. "I don't know when I will have another opportunity to speak to you alone…"

The urgency in his tone was unusual for him, and it frightened her.

"I must know something, Padme…" he was close with secrecy, his hand on her elbow. "When you have been with Anakin, have you ever done anything against your will?"

Though she didn't know what to expect in this unexpected meeting, that was not it. She immediately knew where he was going with the question and she couldn't help but frown. "No! Never. If you think that Anakin would ever use mind tricks to…"

She couldn't even say it.

He didn't deny that he was thinking it, but he stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I don't believe he would either, you must believe me… However, there are other troubling possibilities… Anakin is more powerful than any of us know. I don't think even he truly knows."

She was staring at him.

"You are far too intelligent for simple mind tricks to work on you, Padme. However, if there were ever any impulses you were already inclined towards… Or feelings you genuinely experienced… It is possible that they could be swayed further one way or the other by a powerful Force user… Even if that user is not conscious of their influence…"

"What are you saying?" She knew exactly what he was saying, but it chilled her.

"It is not completely unheard of… I witnessed it on the balcony today."

"You were spying on us?" She couldn't help the insult.

"I needed to see it for myself…"

He was calm, as always, never betraying any emotion and it made it impossible to disbelieve the words. She didn't want to believe that of Anakin, or herself, but it explained so much. All the times she gave into reckless impulses, when she said yes to marrying Anakin, even though the very idea was ludicrous. A curtain was pulled back and the confusion that choked her all these months finally gave way to understanding. That understanding was not comforting, though.

"You're right…" she gasped, her legs failing her. "Oh, Obi-Wan… What am I supposed to do?"

"For his sake, we mustn't let him go on this way. It's far too dangerous to allow him to continue using his abilities unchecked. We must help him, Padme…"

"You're saying I should end it?" her voice was low, fearful.

"I will end it. I'm sorry I did not intervene sooner."

"It isn't your fault, Obi-Wan," she hardened her voice, almost angry that he would assume responsibility for any of this. "It's mine. I was vulnerable when you left me and I needed him at the time… None of this is fair to him, but… I need to be the one to do it."

"No," he said sternly. "I won't put you in that position."

His tone implied that there was danger, which she perhaps knew better than he did. She remembered what happened to the Tusken Raiders the last time Anakin's heart was devastated. That was something she rarely thought about, because it was as if it was something that happened to someone else, a disconnected stranger. She did not see it happen, therefore it didn't. And a secret kept can't be true unless spoken out loud.

Regardless of her denial of it, she knew Anakin did not take pain easily. He could lash out, at someone or himself. If anyone had to face that, it would be her. Besides, she believed that she could keep Anakin calm. There was far too much friction between the master and apprentice for it to go smoothly, and Anakin would never harm her. She knew this.

"I'll do it. Please trust me, Obi-Wan…" She didn't want to do this, but there was no other choice... She wiped away a stray tear.

"He will endure…" Obi-Wan said gently. "As we all do. As we did."

She was shaking her head, her throat tightening. It wasn't that simple. "You don't understand…" Her fingers curled into the fabric of his cloak, willing herself to speak the truth. "We're married…"

"Married?" he spat out the word above a whisper.

She couldn't bear to look at him, and she dropped her gaze, nodding. There was no justifying it, or using the excuse that Anakin had 'swayed' her because there would always be that part of her that was in agreement to it. Whether it was Anakin whom she wanted to marry, she was not so sure.

"I see…" his voice failed him a little. "I'm sorry, Padme… It will be difficult for him… but I will be there to guide him through his feelings…"

She hated how Obi-Wan spoke of feelings as though they were a symptom to be dealt with. But he was right. Anakin had always been at the mercy of his own emotions.

"You'll be nearby, won't you?" Ordinarily she would not ask, and would put on a strong front.

"I'll be near…" He took her hands in both of his.

She missed his touch, she remembered how it felt to have his lips on her knuckles, the tickle of his beard. It was a nice thought before she returned to the terrible task at hand. If it was only how it was before Anakin came back into her life. When she and Obi-Wan were unattached. She would kiss him now and pull him into bed with her, but not for sex. All she wanted in the world right now was to fall asleep in his arms and feel safe.

But as always, cursed as they were with duty and the 'right thing to do', they both let go of one another, though his fingers trailed along her hand in the act of pulling apart, taking a piece of her with him in that brush. He walked away and headed for the door. She tried not to watch him go.

When the door opened, there was the other Jedi. Anakin and Obi-Wan nearly collided.

The silence that fell was suffocating. Anakin, his face blank with confusion, looked from Obi-Wan, to Padme, back to Obi-Wan.


"Obi-Wan… What are you doing in Padme's room?"

Interesting how he forewent calling him Master. He didn't like the volatile ripples that were emanating from Anakin as he moved purposefully deeper into the room, past Obi-Wan so that he could place himself in front of Padme.

"I could very well ask you the same," Obi-Wan said with zen calm.

It looked bad, he knew it did. Worse than that, Anakin may have sensed something that Obi-Wan had tried to conceal all these years. His feelings for Padme, the attachment that bound him to her through the Force, no matter how hard he tried to sever it.

"I asked you first."

"Anakin…." Padme's hand closed around his arm as she stepped out from behind him. She was very careful to keep her gaze on him and not let it wander elsewhere. "Can I talk to you alone, please?"

Anakin's eyes were fixed on Obi-Wan, but when his wife spoke to him, his gaze turned to her and softened, the cloud clearing just a little. The effect she had on Anakin in a simple look was more than Obi-Wan could accomplish with years of mentoring. He now understood her insistence on being the one to speak to Anakin.

"I will excuse myself," Obi-Wan said plainly, though he wished he could stay. He hated to leave her alone with this cruel task.

When he walked out of the room, the door closed behind him and he could hear nothing on the other side. He stole away to the balcony to wait. Night had fallen and the sky was alight with stars, some of them moving slowly across the stratosphere as ships passed by. He folded his arms within the sleeves of his robe, closed his eyes, and cleared his mind to allow the Force to pass through him and sweep away all the emotions that threatened to consume him.

Jealousy was biting at him, fear for Padme was freezing over, and anger over Anakin's unwitting use of the Force was agitating him.

He had no right to be jealous—no one did.

He had no reason to fear for Padme—she was safe.

He could not be angry at Anakin—his padawan didn't know what he was committing.

Once he let the Force calm him and balance him again, he was able to focus and reached out. He could feel the echos of what was happening in Padme's room, not unlike when one puts their hand to the bulkhead of a ship to feel the engines. Chaos, that is, of emotions and energies.

He had no way of knowing what was being said, but he felt the turmoil within. The confusion and the hurt was familiar, though perhaps manifold to what he had personally experienced because Anakin lived perpetually teetering on the edge. She was rejecting Anakin. It was the right thing to do, for the very reason that she and Obi-Wan had broken it off, but especially in the circumstance of Anakin's accidental control of their relationship. Was she telling him about that part of it? Or was she simply ending it, now that she had the awareness and the strength to do it? He would have to discern later whether or not Anakin knew about his uncontrolled abilities. He needed to know.

For now, the Jedi Master's heart ached for them both. Padme was not cruel, but she had to be at this moment. Anakin deserved to be happy, and it was being torn away from him, as it always was. But he was not the only Jedi to know sorrow.

They were in there for over an hour. He sensed no danger, just pain, which was understandable. And in all of this, he felt like he was the orchestrator and the disgust with himself churned deep. It was the right thing to do, he told himself. This was their duty, and no Jedi would allow such things to happen.

He had already allowed too much. Perhaps Qui-Gon had had more influence than he was willing to admit to himself.

The storm cloud of Anakin was moving now. Obi-Wan opened his eyes and turned just in time to see Anakin passing by through the foyer with long strides, his face wet with tears, but his eyes hard set. He then heard the gondola setting out from the lakehouse. It was clear that Anakin was heading back to the ship.

In Padme's room, he could feel the sinking well of sadness.

Everything in him wanted to go to her, comfort her, be with her. The Jedi and parental figure in him wanted to go after Anakin, to support him through this pain. He was torn two ways, and could not get himself to move in either direction. He could not abandon one for the other.

Running his hand down his beard, he stopped again to calm himself. It was far too dangerous to have emotions here. For their sakes he could not have emotions.

Steeling himself, he made his way to Padme's room. The door was still open, and he heard her sobbing inside before he looked in and saw her wilted on the foot of her bed, her face buried in her arms. The powerful senator who was once a queen, was just a woman at this moment.

"Padme…." He said softly, not stepping past the doorway without invitation.

At first she didn't seem to hear him over her own crying, but after a moment when she seemed to catch her breath, she lifted her head and looked at him, devastation on her face. Crawling off the bed, she practically flew to him, holding on for dear life. He wrapped his arms around her, securing her against him as she wept more quietly now.

She didn't say anything, she didn't need to. It was clear that she did what she set out to do.

He laid his cheek against the top of her head, his eyes closing in spite of himself to be so near her again. He knew he should let go, his heart was bleeding with that old familiar love for her. But he held on to her, for her.

It wasn't until her crying had quieted and her tears began to dry that she made the choice to let go. She lifted her head to meet his gaze, and the depth of her brown eyes were hypnotizing, even if they were obscured from weeping.

He wanted to kiss her, even if it meant expulsion or death. That same feeling of wanting to kill and die for her came back with a vengeance, and the lifetime of Jedi indoctrination came screaming into his mind. Painfully, he pulled away from her.

"We must go…" His voice was strained.

"I know." Her voice was steady.

There was a pause. This was where they usually spoke of seeing each other again, questioning if it would be months or years.

Maybe she was thinking the same thing that he was. Should they see each other again?

The war may not give them a choice one way or the other.

"Goodbye, Padme…" He turned to go gracefully, but she seized his hand in both of hers and he was effortlessly pinned. He turned back to her, meeting her gaze again.

"I don't know if you would believe me after everything that's happened…" her voice shook. "But I need you to know that I love you…"

"Padme—" I love you.

She let go of his hand. "Please don't say it back, I know you can't. If you do or you don't, it doesn't matter. I needed to say it."

I love you, Padme.

It was on the tip of his tongue, and he knew the gravity of saying it aloud.

"Please go…" she was stepping away, mercifully, as if she knew how dangerously close he was to saying it.

This time when he turned he walked out unhindered, everything fractured inside and perhaps atrophied. The further he moved away from her, the more numb he felt. It was impossible to fall into any daze, however, with the trail of electric sorrow that he was following. Anakin's turbulent emotions left a very potent echo in the Force. He followed it all the way across the lake and back to the landing platform. The hired Naboo speeder dropped him off and went on its way, and Obi-Wan found their ship dark and quiet in the night.

The lights of the landing platform illuminated the ship from below, and though it seemed unoccupied, he knew his former apprentice was in there. Obi-Wan was the epitome of calm as he ascended the ramp and entered the ship. R2-D2 was plugged into a wall panel, clicking thoughtfully, an occasional soft beep as he communicated with the ship.

Anakin's dark robe had been thrown over the pilot's chair, and the sound of a clang drew Obi-Wan's attention. He followed it to the engine compartment where he saw Anakin's long legs on the floor sticking out from one of the walls.

He always knew Anakin was struggling when he was fixing things.

"I'm just re-calibrating the converters and then we can go. Maybe half an hour."

Anakin's voice was low, echoing from within the compartment. He sounded almost robotic, and it sent a chill down Obi-Wan's spine.

"Very good," Obi-Wan said as genially as ever, though he was frowning hard. Anakin couldn't see his face at the moment.

He left Anakin to tinker. It was what the boy did best, and it was the most effective therapy he had, aside from fighting things. The latter was definitely not a viable option with the pain that was churning in Anakin. Obi-Wan stepped outside onto the ramp again, his eyes towards the domes and towers of Theed. They seemed to glow from the streetlights, a faint purple haze in the night sky behind them. Everything still smelled sweet, the air chilled but comfortable. This place was a paradise, and the promise of happiness always seemed to send them back to hell.

To be happy here was an impossible dream.

"Master," Anakin's voice broke into his thoughts, and he looked up to see his former apprentice at the top of the ramp, shrugging on his cloak.

"Everything repaired?"

Anakin nodded, his face still hard set.

"At last…" Obi-Wan sighed and walked up the ramp into the ship. "The sooner we return to Coruscant the better."

The confrontation with Anakin's feelings was inevitable, and he wanted the fall out to happen far and away from her.