Disclaimer: I don't own "Girl meets world" or any of the characters.

Okay before anyone starts coming at me with chainsaws and guns, let me explain myself. Not only has my high school and my BOCES program have me running on 4 and a half hours of sleep on a regular, and my relentless job, my computer stopped working COMPLETELY. Talk about fucking frustrating. I haven't been able to get my hands on one in well , you guys know. You've been fucking waiting for as long as I have. Anyway, it's still not fixed but since I'm a freaking awesome little weirdo and write everything on paper before typing; I have the next four chapters already done. Ill have them all up by Monday, the latest Tuesday. Promise!

Okay lovelies lets get on with this shit!

Tell me if you like. Tell me if you don't. Enjoy!

~Geni

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Josh's POV

My breath was coming in gasps as I pushed through my brothers living room. Ignoring the looks they all threw my way.

Ugh!

What am I doing? What was I expecting? For her to the fling herself into my arms in an earth shattering embrace?

She looked so beautiful. Her hair a rat's nest of curls and tangles, but still beautiful. Her eyes were puffy from sleep, lips puffy and... pink.

Really not the time, Josh!

"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God" I whispered, desperately as I exited the building. My fears were confirmed in the worst way. I could see her heart rattling through her eyes. Completely held together for the people around her, but hideously shattered on the inside. And I'm the one who practically body slammed her into the pit less abyss of agony and memory of why she was tumbling down this never ending basin of heartache. And my face was pasted to the walls of those memories. A fake smile tainted with the lies she still believes.

I've never wanted something to go away so bad in my entire life. I want that look to disappear. I want those big innocent eyes that shined back at me after our first kiss. Not the empty un-trusting ones that showed all their suffering and heartbreak.

I don't want this Maya Hart. The girl silently crying in the room that was basically her own. I want this Maya Hart to never have existed. I want the Maya who would look up at me with faint faith and trust. As if I was the answer to all her problems. As if I could have made them go away. All i had to do was reach out. Grab her hand. I let her fall. I have never been the answer to any of her problems, all I ever did was cause them.

"Josh, we can never be how we used to." her voice echoed through my ears.

" I miss you, Maya." I whispered

Bright, intoxicating pools of liquid blue. Her eyes stared at me through memories. Fierce passion and breakneck strength. There was a series of times that Maya Hart would drown me in those wide eyes of hers. And every time I would pull myself out, I'd ask the same question. And Maya with wild penetrating eyes would answer, just as she she always did.

Flashback

August, 27 2017

"Hey, Uncle Boing!" Seventeen year old Maya Hart shouted, as she ran into the Mathews apartment. Bare footed and wearing nothing but a bikini top, and shorts. He chuckled to himself as he heard her bare feet fall heavily on her journey to his niece's room.

"GET UP RIGHT NOW, RILEY MATTHEWS!"

"NO! GO AWAY"

"Whats going on?" his older brother questioned as he walked out of his room. Hair askew, and harsh pink imprints embedded from his pillow. Clearly annoyed for being awakened at 7 am on a Saturday.

Josh furrowed his eyebrows, wondering the same thing himself, "I don't know, but i'll find out" He rose up from the couch, moving to where the small blonde stood. Pounding on her friends door relentlessly.

"Riley…" Maya trailed off frustrated, " It was just a fight. He'll be back crawling on his hands and knees in no time, just like he always does." Suddenly the door swung open, revealing a red eyed Riley. Hair standing every which way, similar as to how her father's' looked moments ago(except of course for it being much longer). Josh's' slight amusement was short lived as he looked at his niece. He frowned, walking forward to intervene.

"He kissed you, Maya" Josh's frown deepened, and for some reason, didn't move any closer to the oblivious teens. He couldn't seem to figure out why, but he didn't want them to know he was listening. Josh could tell she wasn't upset with Maya in this situation, and from what he could gather so could Maya.

"Riley, it was on my cheek, and Lucas was drunk" Maya said quietly, to assure no one could hear.

"He was aiming for your mouth, Maya!" Riley whisper-yelled, wiping away more tears.

Josh instantly saw red. Not for the reasons one might assume. Relief overthrew him when Maya cleared up the 'kiss' situation. It was the fact that Riley was hurting about her boyfriend, and Maya was the one that was trying to fix it for him.

"Riley," Maya smiled. "he didn't kiss me. Even if he had, fuck him" Her grin grew, making Riley give her a face. "Listen to me, Honey. That boy is head over heels in love with you. And is currently crying his Texan little eyes out, because he thinks and has" The blonde emphasized, moving her neck in a circular motion, obviously trying to put a smile on her distressed friends' face, and succeeding "Royally fucked up, with one of the most amazing girls in the whole world. Not to mention making my best friend cry" Riley chuckled at that.

"What are you laughing about? I'm serious!" Maya grinned. " I've already slashed his tires and drew, explicitly detailed penises all over his car." She said with her signature evil smirk.

"In paint, in marker, spray paint, you name it baby, I used it" she said proudly with a wink, counting off with her fingers. " I even wen't as far as keying a few small 'Texan whore's" on his doors" And despite Riley's' good girl demeanor she pulled her friend into a tight hung, and whispered so lightly, Josh could hardly hear her murmur "I really do love you"

Maya laughed beautifully, in a way that made Josh's stomach drop. "And I love you more" The shorter girl sighed. "What are sisters for?"

"Now get your ass dressed. You are not going to be in this place today or tonight" Maya told her, pulling away. Riley's eyebrows furrowed, silently asking;"why?"

"Because, you will not be here when Lucas comes over to apologize. You'll be with me." The smaller girl said bluntly, "At the beach. Where there will be a variety of the male species that we will be taking selfies with, and posting all over social media. So he can see how easily he can lose this amazing girl" She pushed her dark haired best friend, into said friends room, encouraging her to get her bathing-suit on.

"WEAR SOMETHING SEXY!"

"MAYA" Corey shouted from somewhere in the apartment.

Maya then walked to the living room, grinning, as she saw Josh scurry back to where he sat before.

"Isn't there some kind of saying about eavesdroppers?" She mocked.

"It's no problem. I know you can't resist the sound of my voice. It's a mutual feeling, really" her smirk soften, and he could see the sincerity in the last bit of what she was telling him. He found himself drowning in the different shades of blues that looked back at him, small bits of her fire still present. Obviously still on her high of vehicular vandalism.

Jagged breaths left his mouth, "Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked her, For a moment frightened that he may have offended her, but soon seeing a sweet smile, answering as she always did.

"Later" she said slowly and softly, sitting beside him, her breast bouncing with her movements. He willed his eyes not to drop to the delicate contours of her breast.

"When's later gonna actually come ,Maya?" he heard himself ask, not really paying complete concentration on their conversation. Trying harder on restraining his eyes from traveling lower than her cute button nose, to her seductive collarbone, lower still to those magnificent breast, to the toned flesh of her pale abdomen and, barley exposed hips, where he saw the peaks of red bathing-suit bottoms.

she laughed, "when it's later"

"Okay i'm ready!" Riley said, entering the room, in a see through beach dress thingy over her two piece. A smile actually gracing her lips. Josh knew that Maya was the reason for that. And in that moment her knew why he loved her.

Maya Hart was more than just a fierce spirit with a beautiful face. She was a women with a strength that she developed at too young an age for all the wrong reasons. She was a women who gave all she could for the ones she loved because growing up she she didn't get enough of it, and will do everything she can to give every last ounce of love that she possess back to those she holds dear. He realized he loved her because there's no other person he could love as much as Maya Hart. There just wasn't. And that was what it was; that she was the only person who could ever make him feel so much passion, every ounce of affection she displayed towards him, revealed a placement he had in her heart. And it made him want to to love her. Despite his desperate need not to. She was love, and-to him- love is all you need in life.

And in that moment, more than he did when he first realized he loved her when he was 11 and she was just turning 9, he wished this wasn't just an infatuation for her, but prayed desperately that it was. Because she was worth so much more than him.

Mayas wolf whistled broke him from his thoughts.

"Well, aren't you just drop dead gorgeous,! Let's go show your man, there are others out there that can sweep you away" Bouncing off the couch, slipping on a pair of Riley's flipflops and grabbing a bag from her friends hands, filled with towels and other beach essentials.

He smiled at them as they left , waving at him and shouting a goodbye to his brother. His smile dropping when the door slammed close. He knew why. Because while by next week Lucas and Riley would be good as new...Together...In love. He would be lying alone staring up at the ceiling in his dorm, praying that there won't be another who will be able to "sweep" Maya away from him. Even if she did deserve it.

July,22, 2018

"Why're looking at me like that?"

Biting her lip, while somehow smiling widely. He knew what she was gonna say, what she always said.

"If you don't know now, you will later"

"Maya..." Josh would say in a 'just-answer me' tone.

"Later" she would say, getting up. "Later"

"Maya..." he'd start, ready for his infamous 3 year gap lecture he knew by heart now.

Maya recognized that tone and decided today was not a day she felt like succumbing to the ever present dull ache that acquainted her heart when he spoke in that voice. The one that confirmed fears she refused to accept. So she just said "Later"

"Why later, Maya!? You've been saying later since you were 15! Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because if I tell you, then it's over. If you figure it out…"

"That makes zero sense, Maya"

She sighed heavily. "Josh, Have you ever heard the quote 'it always gets better in the end. If it's not better, it's not the end.'?"

She didn't wait for him to respond, giving him an answer to a question that's been pending for years; "Because there's hope in later, Josh"

End of Flashbacks

"Later" I found myself grumbling. She was telling me I'd look at her like that one day. And it would be love. Then I would know...I had already known what I felt.

Why was it that for all those years, the sun rose and set on me, for her? Why did she believe even for a second that I could deserve her.

I'll find a way to be worthy enough to be with her. This time i'll try until I die.

"Did I imagine, yelling at God for not taking away the pain, for having me be so in love with a man so completely blind, he let me go? "

"I did let you go, Maya Hart. But i'll be damned if I allow that to happen again" I wiped the last of my tears away, thinking securely to myself.

"There's hope in later"

God, I love you, Maya. I swear to you I love you. I swear...I swear you'll love me too... Later...

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Sorry again for such a long update, but my computer will be fixed soon. My sister will be coming back around next week, so ill be able to post the next few chapters on Monday/Tuesday.

I hope you enjoyed, please comment and let me know what you guys think or what you want to happen next.

Byee

~Geni