Hey all! Sorry this is so late, I planned on posting it last week but I had my first law exam so study took over and then I got distracted by watching Olicity vidoes on Youtube haha my bad!
Anyway, here is the new chapter. I'm sorry if this feels rushed, I really wanted to get to this point coz like I said the story actually picks up from here more than anything. Also I'm sorry in advanced for the first part of this chapter but I felt like for the whole Felicity character development in this story … it needed to be done.
Please review! :D
Chapter 5 – You're Gonne Miss Me When I'm Gone
She was alone in the world now.
No siblings.
No grandparents.
Her father had abandoned her.
And her mother was dead.
Dead.
Something she never thought she'd have to say, at least not at 19 years old.
It had been a warm day in Vegas, same as it always had been but the clouds had rolled in, the darkness fitting the day. A day Felicity never thought she'd have to deal with, a day she didn't know how to deal with.
Her mother's funeral.
If you'd ask Felicity how long she had been standing by the open grave, the casket staring up at her, covered in small clumps of dirt, she wouldn't have been able to tell you. To be honest, she hadn't even realised that the rain had started to fall - heavily - around her.
Emptiness entered her mind, the usually fast paced, crazy thoughts running through her mind seemed to have just vanished into thin air as she stood there, alone, wet and just sad.
She didn't even notice his presence come to her side, didn't hear the soft footsteps behind her on the grass as he approached but what she did feel was his large hand slipping into her own, encasing it gently as they stood shoulder to shoulder, wet from the rain, hair sticking to their faces, clothes sticking to their skin.
Oliver stood in silence next to Felicity, no idea what to even say to her but he wanted to show her he cared for her. It had been almost a month since she had walked away from him that day - the day he had told her he slept with Laurel's sister. But none of that mattered now. He wanted to show his support for his friend and he wanted to be there for her.
Time continued to pass over them both, the rain continued to fall but slowly, inch by inch Felicity let her hand close around his, needing the warmth that he gave her.
Felicity hadn't cried, not when she had been told of what had happened, not when she was on the plane to Vegas, not when she was at her mum's house, not when she was in the car on the way to cemetery and not as the Rabbi had said his piece and her mother's coffin was lowered into the ground.
Actually, Felicity didn't think she had cried at all, just staring into the hollow of the grave below her feet. Slowly each of the guests had left her side, many with a slight hug or a gentle hand on her shoulder but none of them asked her questions, leaving her be.
She may not have been crying but her tightening grip on his hand told him a million different things. "You didn't come..." her voice was soft, barely above a whisper, hoarse from crying and being so silent for so long.
Glancing up at her, Oliver had noticed that a tear had slipped down her cheek, rolling by the side of her nose and then over her lips. He wasn't sure what she meant but he wasn't going to ask.
"You didn't come to the funeral..."
He just looked at her, why was she so concerned about what he did or didn't do? Maybe she had needed him there with her and she thought he wasn't there for her like he always promised her he would be. But she was wrong. He had come to the funeral.
"Oh Felicity…I was here, I was at the back. I wanted to be here for you but figured that you needed your space..." he chose his words carefully. Not wanted to upset her but also wanting her to know that he wasn't going anywhere.
This caught her attention finally, painfully she pulled her eyes from the ground to his, seeing the redness in his own that had more than likely mirrored her own. He had come for her. Even after walking away from him that day the way she had – he had still come for her.
But then she realised that she was upset with him for no reason. She needed something else to focus on and so she focused on him. "I'm sorry" she looked away from him, so unsure of herself that she couldn't believe what was happening.
But Oliver's hand never left hers, only holding it tighter when he thought she was going to pull away from him. He wasn't going to let her do that. He did however watch in slow motion as her shoulders slumped and her knees buckled underneath her. Oliver was faster though, his arms coming to wrap around her waist, both their body weight dropping to the ground below them, a heartbreaking sob racking itself through Felicity's entire body.
She cried and he held her tightly as she did, neither caring of the thunder that tumbled around them or the rain that had started to fall even heavier or that Felicity was hanging onto Oliver with so much strength that to him it felt like he was the only thing keeping her grounded.
Somehow, she had ended up sitting across his lap, her legs to one side, one arm wrapped around his neck while the other had her hand fisting tightly at his shirt. He just held her tightly, arms around her small frame and let her cry.
It was dark by the time her tears - and the rain - had settled down, her grip loosening on his shirt but she didn't move, didn't want to move. Oliver may have thought that she had fallen asleep against him but she hadn't, her breathing was still ragged and sharp against his neck. "Come on. Let's get you home..."
His words were soft in her ear but she held onto him still, not wanting to let go. But moments later she lifted her head from his neck, wiping her eyes, "I ah...I've been staying at mum's apartment but I don't really want to go back there alone."
He pulled her back into his arms tightly "Oh Felicity, you're not alone." And with that he somehow managed to raise them both to their feet and walk them back to the car that had been waiting nearby.
They driver had brought them back to Felicity's mother's house, it was small, quiet but cosy enough that under better circumstances, he would have loved to have visited. Oliver followed Felicity into the apartment, watching her flip on the lights before she rested against the kitchen counter, her hands face down and her shoulders hunched over, head down.
It didn't take long before Oliver was by her side, his chest against her back as he held her tightly, feeling her body start to shake once more, both from the cold rain that had soaked them both through but also from the new cascade of tears that had started to fall.
Again, they found themselves on the floor together, his arms tightly around her waist while Felicity was curled up on his lap, holding him tightly as she cried herself to sleep against him. But Oliver didn't move, he wouldn't move while she was in his arms.
Oliver's party was in full swing by the time Felicity pushed open the front door to the queen manor. Loud music assaulted her ears as she stepped inside the main entranceway, there were lots of people around, people Felicity didn't recognise and people that Felicity was happy not to know. These were Oliver and Tommy's friends and she was quite happy just being friends with them.
She moved through the mansion easily, she knew the layout like the back of her hand. As she looked around, it was clear to her that she was not in the partying mood. Honestly, she didn't even want to come to the party, she'd even begged Oliver to just have lunch with her as a good bye but he had looked at her with those eyes that she couldn't say no to and so here she was, heading out through the kitchen to the back room.
Everyone else was dressed for a party, the girls wore tight dresses, short skirts or very low tops, she wore a pair of jean shorts and a simple t-shirt. She really wasn't in the mood to party. Felicity had been struggling with her mother's death, Oliver had to force her to spend time out of her house, just trying to get her not keep herself locked over the last few months.
She knew he meant well and she loved spending time with him, she just found it hard to enjoy herself like she used to. But she did love having Oliver in her life. He made her smile. Tommy and Thea also kept her going. Before she could think any more of it, a voice caught her attention, a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey you..." Felicity turned towards the voice behind her, finding a smiling Tommy Merlyn standing by her side. He was a handsome man, Felicity was not blind, his bright smile could always put a smile on her face. But that smile was few and far between at the moment. Slowly, Tommy pulled Felicity into a tight hug - his lips against her ear, "I'm so sorry about your mum. How are you holding up?" She hadn't really seen Tommy at all since before her mum had passed away, she had only really been spending time with Thea and Oliver at the mansion after her tutoring sessions.
Felicity pulled away slowly, his hands coming to rest against her shoulder again, hoping for an answer. Felicity could lie to him but she knew he'd lost his mother at a young age and so she didn't want to lie to him, she didn't want to lie to her friend. Felicity shrugged briefly, "I'm ok. Just taking it one day at a time. It's been alright, I've been spending time with Thea or Oliver so it's been ok. Just one day at a time, or something like that…" She shrugged again, not really sure what else to say to him.
Tommy smiled gently back at her, he understood what that feeling was like, "Well you know that me and Ollie are here to make you smile. It's been few and far between over the last few months. We do miss it..." Felicity just nodded, she knew she hadn't been the best of friend lately - but the boys and Thea understood, they understood that she was having a hard time. "You know, I have experience in losing a parent, if you need anyone to talk to, my door is always open for you."
Felicity just stepped into Tommy's arms, letting her head rest against his check with a small smile coming to her lips. After a moment she stepped back, she was suddenly really not feeling the desire to be there, as much as she wanted to spend time with Oliver before his trip away. "I actually think I'm gonna head off. I know I really only just got here but..." she shrugged, they knew she wasn't up for much recently but she knew that Tommy and Oliver would both be happy that she had made it to at least see him off.
"Wait..." Tommy turned from a Felicity before she could leave, calling out to Oliver, who was seated around a small table, beer in hand and a wide smile on his face. When he looked up at his name, Oliver's eyes lightened even more as he saw Felicity standing by Tommy, thrilled that she had decided to come. Standing instantly, he rushed to her side, wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her into a tight hug. Whispering a "Hey" in her ear. He held her for a little longer than he probably should have but he didn't want to let her go.
"Ollie!" Waving his hand around both his and Felicity's face, emphasising something she was quite sure. "Let's get a picture do you don't forget what we look like!" Oliver just laughed; Tommy may have been a little drunk but he was still his crazy best friend.
Tommy leaned over to rest his chin on Felicity's shoulder, blinking at her like an anime character, Felicity just rolled her eyes at him, "Come on Tommy, he is going to be gone 3 week, I'm sure he'll remember what we look like." Felicity laughed brightly at Tommy's craziness but still smiled at Oliver, shoes smile only grew wider when she nodded.
Somehow, someone had pulled out a Polaroid camera, something that Tommy had been very enthusiastic to use. The first photo taken of the three was of them standing in a line, Felicity in the middle, their arms around each other, smiles and laughter across each of their faces. The second was of Felicity being piggy backed on Tommy's back, Oliver doubled over in laughter as she held on tightly to his neck, terrified that a drunk Tommy would drop her. The third was of Oliver and Felicity together, his lips to her cheek as she laughed straight at the camera while Tommy leaned over her side, pretending to try and push Oliver away.
Once the camera was put away Tommy placed his own kiss on her cheek before giving her a tight hug. He knew why she wasn't in the partying mood, losing her mother had been incredibly hard on her. She'd even take up extra classes randomly at MIT just to fill the space and time she had free - at least when she wasn't at QC, tutoring Thea or hanging out with Oliver. "Love you Felicity." He whispered against her cheek. Feeling her hug, him back tightly, Felicity pulled way.
Wiping at her eye quickly, she turned to Oliver, a smile coming to both their lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck, his around her waist, his face burying itself against her neck. Holding each other for a moment, Felicity sighed against him, "Please be careful. I know you can't get into too much trouble on a boat but just..." she pulled away from him, her face inches from his.
"I will Felicity. Don't worry, I'll only be gone 3 weeks and then I'll be back to annoy the shit out of you." He laughed at her as she tried to slime again at him. But it didn't reach her eyes, her smile never reached her eyes since the funeral. "I'm gonna miss you." He pulled her in tight again, part of him not really wanting to let her go but as he did, he reached into her hand to grab a photo from her, slipping it into his pocket.
Felicity just reached up and placed a kiss on his cheek, suddenly desperate to linger for a moment before she moved past him. A final, "Please be safe and have fun" coming from her lips before she ducked back into the house, out the front door and back to her home.
Oliver sighed as he watched her go, his worry for her rising instantly. "Hey man, do me a favour and look after her for me?" He turned towards Tommy, fingering the photo he was going to keep close to him on his trip away.
Tommy nodded, "Always man..." he waited a second, eyeing his best friend suddenly noticing a shift in him. There had been subtle things about Oliver when he was around Felicity, nothing that really stood out to him about his behaviours but there was something. Tommy could tell that Felicity was harbouring a crush on Oliver, it was pretty obvious but his best friend on the other hand? He hadn't seen him so interested in someone before. And just a general interest as well, not just an interest in getting into a girls pants.
It was something he was going to bring up to Oliver when he got back. Maybe try and push them both to realise that it might be more than friendship between them. Smirking, Tommy placed his hand on Oliver's back, his fingers slipping his own photo into his pocket before they both moved back to the party, both of them a little less enthusiastic now that Felicity had gone home.
The sun was setting as Oliver stood by the side of the yacht, his arms resting against the cold railing as he looked out over the clear ocean around him. The last week had been amazing for him, being away from everything and everyone had given him a new sense of peace, something he hadn't felt in a while. As much as he missed his family and Thea and Tommy and Felicity, he liked the quiet the ocean brought to him.
Oh Felicity.
He looked down at the photo in his hands, Felicity holding onto Tommy tightly, her eyes lighting up in a smile, one he hadn't seen for a while before that. Part of him hated being away from her considering she was struggling, he wanted to be there for her but he also knew that he needed time away for himself. After everything that had happened with Laurel and Sara and how he had been treating both of them, he needed time to clear his head and work himself out. Felicity had told him as much when he had approached her about not going on his trip.
"Felicity are you sure. I can stay if you want me to. If you need me, I want to be here with you." Oliver had called Felicity the week before he was supposed to leave, he hadn't seen much of her recently, Walter telling him that she was getting caught up in her MIT work, the extra classes she had been taking and her work at QC. He hated that she was trying to drown herself in her work.
Felicity had just sighed and smiled on the other end of the phone, "Oliver, I want you to go on this trip. I want you to have fun and enjoy yourself for once. Don't worry about me, I have Thea and Tommy if I need anything. I promise, I will be happier if you go and not worry about me for a bit. You need time to yourself for once, to work out what you want from life and from…well, everything."
Oliver knew she was getting at his break up with Laurel, he had told Felicity that he had tried to approach her since she had found out about him sleeping with Sara, but all he had gotten was a pointed glare and a comment along the lines of 'leave me the fuck alone'. He had known that Sara had taken off though, she had fought with Laurel, packed her bags and walked out. Leaving only a note for her parents and nothing else. No one had seen her in weeks, only her parents had gotten phone calls to say she was ok.
Did her want to fix things with Laurel? Honestly, he didn't know. He actually didn't think he would be able to, he had hurt her way too bad for anything to ever be fixed between them but he at least wanted to apologise. Something she was not interested in at all.
Felicity had always been by his side, always been one of his biggest supporters no matter what stupid thing he did or whatever trouble he had gotten himself into or even whatever idea he had wanted to pursue. She believed in him from the beginning and part of him didn't know why she did, he wasn't a good guy, he knew that but his friendship with Felicity was the purest part of him and he was going to fight hard to hold onto that.
"I'm sorry Mr. Queen but coast guard has informed us that there is a storm setting in. I'm going to have to ask you to come below deck." Oliver's thoughts were broken by the crew member standing beside him, motioning up to the darkened clouds above his head, something Oliver hadn't even noticed. Moving from the railing, he pocketed the photo of his two best friends before moving inside.
It was close to the middle of the night when a jolt of movement pulled Oliver from his sleep, he had fall asleep on his bed, face down in the same clothes he had been wearing when he was up on the top deck. He'd been reading through a book and clearly fallen sleep. Thankfully, he had been used to the storms on the ocean, having been on the yacht enough times to have the experience.
But even though, he knew something was different this time. Sure, the yacht moved a lot against the waves but something was different and he could feel it. Sitting up slowly, he looked around, trying to place what would come next, he could hear the violent storm above his head belting out thunder, lightning lighting up the small cabin room second apart from the last.
Another jolt of movement sent Oliver tumbling to the floor unable to hold his ground as he tried to stand, the glasses tipping from the spot on the bench, the bed shifting around him, pillow sliding along with him. As suddenly as the movement had started, it stopped. Oliver's back connecting painfully against the side of the cabin, his head turned slightly to look out the window by his side, he could see the angle they were on, momentarily he looked back at where he had come from, he realised that he was basically laying on his back against the side wall of cabin staring up at the cabin door swinging open against the gravity.
The yacht was on its side, he knew that, his vertigo could tell him that.
If he wanted to move, he couldn't, he was frozen with fear, his thoughts going to his mum, his dad, Thea, Tommy and Felicity. He was going to die, whatever happened next, Oliver Queen knew he was going to die.
The sudden crash and cold rush of freezing water engulfed his sense, whatever had happened had caused the cabin wall he was against was being torn apart under him, sending him tumbling into the ocean below.
The pressure had built up on his chest, the freezing water crushing against his body as he tumbled around with the waves, the only thing he could do on instinct with try to scream but that only caused his lungs to fill with the salty water around him. His body was seizing against the cold, there wasn't much fight in him anymore.
He couldn't see where he was and he couldn't find his way to the surface of the water.
Oliver Queen knew he was going to die.
Oliver Queen was dead.
People had started to murmur beside her in class - it was true, it wasn't the most exciting of her lectures but it seemed as though the rest of her class had found something a little more interesting to focus on. Shuffling further down into her seat, Felicity tried to ignore the sounds around her that had started to get louder, she just wanted to finish her work and go home. The same thing she had been doing for the last three months.
She hadn't slept much the night before, something had been keeping her awake, a feeling of some kind but she didn't know what it was and it had really affected her that day. If you'd asked her why she hadn't slept, Felicity honestly couldn't have told you. She was restless and agitated and so sleep just didn't come.
Running a hand over her eyes, she sighed deeply, there was just two more hours of this class and then she would home and hopefully she'd be able to sleep. That's what she needed to think about.
"Oliver Queen..."
It wasn't usual for Felicity to hear Oliver's name spoken about in her classes, being so close to Starling City, it was natural that his name had floated in from parties or people seeing him and Tommy around or just the general consensus that everyone thought he was hot. Thankfully no one had known that Felicity was friends with him or else she could only imagine the questions she would get.
"Oliver Queen..."
Again, she'd heard his name and more murmuring, again it was getting louder.
The third time she'd heard his name "Oliver Queen..." she turned to the small group behind her, "I'm sorry, did you just say something about Oliver Queen?" Really what could possibly be so interesting about a man on a boat on the way to the other side of the world? It's not like he was in Starling to get in trouble with the cops or get pictured out with some brunette.
One of the guys in the group looked up at Felicity before turning his phone to her, showing her what it seemed that everyone was looking at, "Apparently his boat vanished during the night. No one survived. They are saying he's dead."
Felicity's entire body froze. All over. Completely. Her eyes glazed over instantly as she let the words seep into her mind.
Oliver.
Vanished.
Dead?
"That can't be right..." the words slipped from her lips, the confused look on the others faces, they must have seen her eyes glaze over, tears forming. Instantly Felicity reached for her bag, scrambling to get her tablet out, she was going to do whatever hacking she needed to do to be able to get the information she could. She had to find out for sure what had really happened to Oliver.
But a flash caught her eye, the instructor at the front of the class was talking to someone. Someone she knew. Someone the rest of the class seemed to know as well.
Tommy Merlyn.
That was when her bag hit the floor, the echoing thud the only thing heard as the whole class had become silent at the conversation happening in front of them, all of them trying to hear what was being said
"No". Felicity's voice was stronger than she expected, the whole class looking at her suddenly. Tommy had turned to her at the sound of her voice. His sad eyes meeting hers.
"No." She said again shaking her head as Tommy moved towards her,
"Felicity-"
She stood suddenly, pushing her seat back from the table, "Tommy..." she was already around the front of her desk, taking in his red eyes and his puffy cheeks. He had been crying. Tommy Merlyn had been crying.
This couldn't be happening.
"He can't be gone. Tommy, he can't be dead..." Tommy has reached out his arms for her, wrapping them tightly around her as she clung to him. "I'm sorry Felicity. Oliver is gone."
He held her while she cried. While they cried. Cried for their friend, cried for their friendship and cried for the brother and son who was lost forever now.
Somehow Felicity and Tommy has made it back to the mansion together, Felicity had just sat quietly in the back of the town car, staring out the window.
Oliver had become one of the best and closest friends over the last 18 months and part of her had felt strange for being so upset when Tommy had known Oliver since they were kids. Reaching out for his hand slowly, Felicity held it tightly. "I'm sorry Tommy. You and Oliver have known each other for so many years…you should be more upset than I am…"
She sighed, keeping her head away from him, part of her had felt a little silly for being more upset that Tommy was or at least that's what she thought, what she didn't know was that Tommy was trying to be strong for her, he didn't want to break down in front of her because she needed him to be strong.
Tommy moved from his seat into the one closer to her, "Felicity, the time you or I knew Oliver didn't matter. He was my best friend but he was also yours. You knew him better than anyone else in this world, you will always know him better than anyone else. Including me. And I for one am so happy you were in his life." His heart broke a little more at the thought that Felicity didn't think she was worth enough to cry for Oliver but she was, she was worth more to Oliver than he was going to let her know now.
Once they arrived at the mansion, Felicity had never heard it so quiet, all she really remembers was having Thea in her arms, the young 15 year old girl clinging to her like she was the only thing holding her up anymore.
