Disclaimer: I dont own 'Girl meets world" or any of its characters.
Hey guys!
This chapters pretty angst-y but i have a super sweet treat for you guys for chapter 8.
Enjoy! let me know what you think in the reviews they really do make my day.
Thanks! :D
~Gen
Chapter 7: Prove It
Josh's POV
There are single life altering moments for everyone that just defines you as a person. Seconds that reveal things about the world and your place inside it. People who are built up off memories that define there places in life. I could very easily tell you the four most life dominating moments that delve my life into the whirlpool it is.
First: The evening I became an Uncle. Looking at "Really really Big" brown eyes. Whispering my discovery to my big brother who sat her squishy body against my lap. The adoring yet fearful look in Coreys eyes as he allowed me to hold his daughter. The moment I knew how valuable and how vulnerable love really was.
Second: Visiting my big brother and his wife on my parents anniversary. Where my six year old niece ran around with a just as small girl with a mess of blonde princess curls. Speaking fiercely as ever. Both turning around, trapping me by Maya Harts eyes for the first time. The moment my heart spoke to me for the very first time. Silently telling me, "she's all you'll ever need".
Third: Soft strawberry smoothie lips meeting mine warmly with as much intensity as I had mused for years within my mind. Followed by the false words that I spoke in front of the woman of my dreams. The vines coated in poisonous lies wrapping themselves around her neck till her love for me came coughed out. Squeezed out every last drop of love from her throbbing lungs. Oozing through the tears falling from those absolutely gorgeous eyes. The instant I learned that bad decisions, made with good intentions are still bad decisions.
Fourth: The bone crushing, overwhelming sorrow and pain that slammed against my body like a speeding truck, at the sight of the love of my life wrapped up against another man's arms. Kissing another man's lips. Knowing it was all my fault, lead me to know; That love is the greatest magic we as humans are allowed to have, Too easily merited and the most excruciating thing to lose.
My eyes followed her every move as he sat her in his lap. Everyone slightly surprised, asking when "this"-referring to my Maya on Zay's freakin' lap!-had happened.
Except she wasn't my Maya. She wasn't my anything… Actually that may not be true, according to the last hour or so Maya and I were now friends. Friends! What the hell sort of Alternate Universe am I in!?
The initial shock and unbearable sadness morphed into something much more unpleasant as I continued to stare shamelessly. Red hot anger sizzled under my skin, as I saw his lips drag against her skin every so often. Too often. My heart tugging every time she shivered. My every cell screaming; That's supposed to be me!, and the jealousy didn't ease as the night wore on,either. It simply grew stronger with every moment they were together.
Everyone somehow was able to get passed the sudden announcement of Maya's relationship. Everyone except for me. The urge to vomit rising revoltingly while they shared the story of finding each other on campus their first day of university and staying friends.
"Yeah, we were until she saw how a real man could take care of her" Zay laughed, earning a chuckle from most in the room, finishing up the tale. The sharp look the younger boy tossed my way proving his subtle conclusion was directed towards me.
My mouth opened to retort. Jealousy and anger searching desperately for an outlet and Zay's face seemed to fit the description perfectly. The syllables of an insult dancing against my tongue when my eyes landed on Maya's face rather than where she was seating.
She was relaxed. She was okay. Her back leaned against his side and the intense pang rang true inside my chest since I then understood… He made her comfortable… He was making her happy. Happier than I ever did.
As everyone began to leave one by one, the girls started piking up the cups around the table to the kitchen.
The moment I saw my window. Grabbing a handful of trash I followed Maya into the dining room.
"Him!?" I whisper shouted, "Really Maya? I'd think you could do better than Zay" The anger returning with every moment I could smell his cologne on her flawless skin. Her head whipping in my direction at my sudden appearance.
"What, you'd be a better choice?" she defended.
"Well yeah" I said bluntly. Her perfect laugh bubbly from inside her chest. And i want unsure whether to be elated that I managed to make her laugh or offended for what it was that amused her.
"I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry" She gasped between giggles, " I just find it hilarious!" She continued to chuckle. "How you can possibly think that after all the mental bullshit you put me through you have a right to include yourself among the people I date" My throat closed up as flame blue eyes glassed over. "Plus" she added, "We're just friends right?" She sighed deeply before looking me straight in the eyes.
"I don't want to fight with you again, Josh" Leaning forward to kiss my cheek, she whispered close to my ear, "You're just too late, Josh.. There's nothing you can do to change that. We're better off as friends"
I'm not quite sure when exactly I had left my brothers home. All I knew was I woke up in my dorm with a killer headache and crushing pressure upon my thorax when my cell abruptly dragged me away from my dreamless slumber. Raised the ringing phone to my ear to hear Corey on the other side.
"Yeah?"I croaked clearing my throat.
"Hey, Josh think you can meet me in two hours for lunch?"
"Sure" I said lazily, "See you then" I hung up quickly not willing just yet t speak to anyone. Not even my brother. The onslaught of memories from the night before came rushing back with too much force.
The images of his hands on her body and his lips on her neck had me doubling over into my bed sheets. Digging my face into the pillows. Wishing I could just disappear. Groans rippled from my throat as flashes of Maya's soft pale hands lacing with Zay's announcing them going to bed. Her bed. A bed- probably among a list of others- They have shared.
I hadn't realized I was crying until the faint taste of salt coated my discovery not stopping the pathetically sobs smothered by my bedding. Praying to God that I never made her feel like this. Although, I know I probably did. And so the tears came harder.
Two hours later:
"So..." Corey trails off. I nod my head knowing where the conversation was going, "Maya and Zay" My nose scrunched at the way he said their names.
"Don't say it like that"
"Like what?" Corey raises an eyebrow confused.
"Like that. The way you just did. The way someone would call Riley and Lucas or Auggie and Ava"
"You're not making any sense, Josh" I felt my blood boil at the misunderstanding. Wondering if they saw themselves that way.
'You're just too late, Josh', her voice rang inside my ears. Driving me insane with sorrow.
"Don't call them 'Maya and Zay' like their one in the same. The way someone would say you and Topanga, Corey."
"Josh" He started, "I know this must be difficult fo-"
"No you don't!" I laughed humorlessly. "You have no idea what it is to love someone so strongly and watch them be with someone else. To look into the eyes of your soulmate and have them look away…" I held in my tears. " Away and into the eyes of some other guy. You don't know what i'm feeling, Core. So don't say you understand. I wouldn't wish for you to ever experience something so paralyzingly miserable." My eyes stung with the force of denying myself the relief. So incredibly torn and having no one to blame but myself.
'You're just too late, Josh'
"I need advice, Corey. Please" I begged, "I- I can't stand his hands on her for another second" I continued through grit teeth. "I'll kill him, I swear that I will"
He looked at me with pity. But I couldn't gather enough energy to care.
'There's nothing you can do to change that'
"You know how I feel about this, Josh. Not to mention you're still struggling to accept your feelings, based off some ridiculous three year gap" He said shaking his head disapprovingly.
Furthering my discomfort. That's the last thing I want. To thwart my brother. He had been my hero for as long as I could remember. His regret for my decisions twisting knots into my stomach nearly as tight as the ones with Maya's name carved into them.
"Don't mess with the emotions of other just 'cause your unsure of your own. It's unfair. And its cruel" He said slowly, "but.." my head snapping up to meet his brown eyes.
"Yes?"
"You can't just show up at my apartment with flowers and expect her to immediately forgive. Especially since what you did was unforgivable. Josh you more than just lied to her" He says sincerely.
"You tore her down. Told her she wasn't strong or beautiful-"
"I never said she wasn't beautiful" I interjected. Defeated
"You told her you wanted a woman that was beautiful and strong, implying to her that she wasn't."
I felt my throat contract against the ball lodged within it.
"You have to fight. And fight like hell…" He breathed slowly fighting against his own instincts that demanded that Maya be left alone. "Years ago, you found every reason as to why to leave her. To not be with her. Now? Now, you find one. One single reason to fight for her. At you get ready for war. We both saw how Zay was last night. Unlike you, he ain't as stupid and it doesn't look like he'll be letting go anytime soon" Shaking his head he emphasizes his words vowel by vowel. Dragging a knife into my chest with every word, knowing their nothing but true.
"I don't want to hurt her again" I whisper.
"Then don't fight with Zay" Corey demands, "Just fight for what you love, and don't start with him, do you hear me. I'm not in the business of breaking that boys heart. But if you really feel like you'd be best for her, i'll tell you what I think. But fighting, physically fighting- as much as you may want to- is just gonna drive Maya farther away from you"
I knew that. I did. It didn't stop the want, though. The only thing on earth that I wanted more than to beat the living shit out of Zay- or myself for that matter- is Maya herself. And God, was she worth the sacrifice. I could close my eyes and watch her paint the darkness of my eyelids with her beauty, set fire to my emotions with her personality at my complete surrender. I'd take anything she'd give me. Be it pain and sorrow, regardless… it was equivalent to happiness.
And that's the true reason why that hideous word left my lips last night.
'We're better off as friends'
Friends. We were freaking friends!... But.. friends is what she would allow me and a hideous moment in the presence of an angel was one and the same as heaven.
I nod numbly to my brother agreeing with his advice
"I can do that"
"Everyone's going to Coney Island. To celebrate everyone being together again or whatnot. Maybe you just happen to be walking by when you see them tonight at 7" Corey says pointedly, My silent thanks not going unnoticed when he nods in semi-approval.
"Can I just ask you something, Josh?" I raise an eyebrow at his change of voice, "Yeah" I answer.
"I know this is hard, as much as you think I don't, I do. But...I gotta ask- Just to ensure both of us that what you're doing is right... Which was easier? Willing the courage to fight for her or fighting endlessly for the strength to leave her?"
"...Fighting" I manage to say, unthinkingly. "When-When I left...I- I don't think that there's a word to describe the feeling of ripping yourself to bits to protect someone who only ever needed, well you. The one thing you were most capable and willing to give." I said lowly tears slipping, "Not that realizing it was any walk in the park. The damage already done. And the both of us on two separate sides of the wreckage... Knowing I'd still give anything to have her and Maya wanting nothing to do with it... with me" The silence grew thick then, before Corey set up another life altering moment for me, " Anything?" He asked,
"It can't be too late Corey it just can't." I chant.
"Prove it"
Fifth: The instant I knew nothing could ever stop from getting Maya Harts love back. I'd prove it to more than just her, but to the universe if need be. Maya would be mine in the most domestic way possible( since of course no one but Maya owned her)
"...Prove it" I whispered back.
Hey lovlies let me know what you think. A lot of you guys thought i should have Corey give Josh some advice so there ;)! LOL i hoped you liked it I'll most likely be Updating late tomorrow night so see you guys in a few hours!
Next chapter Maya's POV! Their is insured Joshaya fluff for chapter 8 thanks to all the lovely reviews from last week!
Also! Poodiepooh22 was the first to answer the question of; 'which episode the quote Zay say's" is from in the previous chapter, correctly!
Poodiepooh22 If you'd like, feel free to pm me or review a prompt for a one-shot for JoshXMaya that you would like for me to do.
BTW: Answer; 'Girl Meets Secret of Life'
Alright, love you all!
~Gen
