Joshaya fans: Yo Genesis, you really need to stop making us wait so damn long for your updates!
Geni: Yes I know and I'm so so so sorry. Please dont hate me! I just get writers block and dont want you all to have sucky chapters! I will make it up to you and if I dont you can all take away my absulote favorite Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins posters.
Joshaya fans: ...*glaring* Okay. But if you dont... you don't wanna know what'll happen.
Geni: Okay Deal!
And on a more serious note, Hey guys! I hope you're still with me. And that you enjoy this chapter please let me know what you guys think or what you'd want to see happen next.
Oh and quick warning: there's a quite a bit of Maya/Zay fluff in this one but I promise, Joshaya is insured!
Disclaimer: I don't own Girl Meets world or its characters.
Maya's POV
"Zay, What are you doing here?" I whisper harshly at the friend I had missed so much the last few days.
"You're a little late on the surprise there, babe" He smiled crookedly removing his jeans and replacing it with a pair of sweats tucked away inside of his bag. Before tossing himself onto my bed winking at me. I tried to hide the smile that threatened to break my serious fury towards the taller boy, but failed when he waved me towards the bed as well.
Sighing, I laid down beside him on my belly.
"We talked about me coming over here, M" His voice was soft and kind, almost soothing. I knew we had spoke about him coming along with me back to New York, but we hadn't come up with a decision by the time I was due to catch a plane. I just assumed that meant that he was staying in Cali. Although, I should have known he would pull something like this. It was such a Zay idea to begin with.
Rubbing my fingers through my hair I fought the odd combination of joy and anxiety bubbling up my throat. So happy Zay was here with me-knowing full well he couldn't afford to be taking time off work and doing it anyway just so he could be with me. Yet, anxiety at the image of Josh's eyes following my every move after Zay first pulled me into his arms tonight.
"I know we did, but as my boyfriend?" I asked, "I mean c'mon"
He leaned forward to give me a kiss on the cheek, " I might as well be, Maya. Everyone back home already thinks we're together" That was true, as well. All our 'friends' and classmates back in Cali were convinced we were a couple. No matter how persistent we were on correcting them.
"We are home, Zay." I chastised. Rolling to his side to look at me he whispered, "I know you are" he smirked.
I rolled my eyes, "Oh, my God! You are such a sap!" I laughed.
"Hey! I am your wonderfully sexy boyfriend. Show some respect"
"Ha! Gay best friend at best" I teased, before Zay made a dramatic gasp, "I resent that" He declared leering towards me.
"Zay" I warned moving back on the bed slightly.
He didn't stop. I saw his hands move towards me stomach menacingly
"Zay! I will stop your ability to have children if you don- ZAY!", I shouted for dear life, as his warm hands moved in fast motions around my abdomen. Arms and legs flailing in reaction.
"Zay!" I gasped between fits of giggles "Stop!- please!"
"You want me to stop? Then say it. Say i'm sexy!"
My lungs started to burn, and I was sure that my face was tomato red but all I was able to screech out was, "Never!"
"Make sure you to use protection!" A big voice presumably from our very own small person all but shouted from outside my bedroom wall. Zay pulled his hands away from my rib-cage to turn towards the door, "Ava?" He asked it.
"Yeah?" Answered the small blonde.
"Go home! We're in the middle of something" My hand swung around to suffocate the last of my laughter.
I could practically hear Ava sticking her tongue out at us.
"Don't listen too him Ava" I interjected, " we're just fooling around"
"That's what we're worrying about" Auggie jabbed opening the door; hands covering both his and Ava's eyes as they walked in, ever the exaggerator.
"Quick, Maya! Cover your breast!"
"Zay" I hissed back, sounding scandalized. "But what are you gonna use to cover up your exposed di-"
"MAYA HART!" Corey yelled from somewhere in the house warningly! The four of us soon breaking out into laughter.
"You two are totally disgusting" Said the fourteen year old boy.
"Just perfect together. I love your love" Ava said dorkily soon after.
I felt my entire body freeze up at her words. My heartbeat picking up, unbeknownst to anyone other than Zay and myself.
"Hey, guys. Think you can give us a minute?" Zay said softly to the two teens.
"Y-Yeah,Sure" Auggie said furrowing his eyebrows concerned. " I'm gonna drop Ava off home and head to bed anyway. Sleep tight you two. C'mon, Ave."
"Night!"
Shutting the door behind them, Zay and I were once again alone.
"What's up, Curly?" He said brushing strands of hair from my face. That's his favorite of his many, many nicknames for me. After two years of trying to stop it, I've grown quite fond of it. "Is it, Josh?" He said more as a statement than a question, but I nodded nonetheless.
"What have I missed?"
I forced a laugh, pulling away from my stone like state. "Told you you were a gay BFF. Always looking for the gossip"
"Maya" He said softly. And I found myself so glad to have him with me, a warm calm wash over me.
Without looking up I spoke quietly, conscious of all the people who could hear through the walls. "Some stuff has happened since we last spoke, yeah" I sighed, walking towards my window. Seating myself on the sill. I watched as said man drove away in his motorcycle, "It's… It's just so hard being near him, especially with all this stuff that he's been telling me lately and-"
"What has he been saying?"
I proceeded to tell him about all that has occurred over the past four days or so. From the fight my first day to the drunken dinner outing with Riley and Topanga, as well as the awkward yet heart melting hugging that occurred between me and Josh before he arrived.
"Not to mention of course telling me 'later' after asked why he was staring at me" I finished, eyes wide and hopeful. Although, I'm not quite sure in regards to what. This sudden form of attention Josh is showing me for the very first time in his life or the desperate pull in my gut seeking advice as the fear turned my veins ice cold.
Zay pulled me into a hug once I was done. Simple tears falling silently between our shirts.
"Do you still love him?" he sounded sadder than he should so I pulled back to see him clearer.
Did I still love him? I mean, how could I possibly hate him? He was my first love- my first kiss. He dominated my thoughts and desires since before I could remember, even now after all we experienced and all that I suffered because of him, I still couldn't find myself not on some level caring for my best friends uncle. The older man may have broken my heart, but he was a big part of my life before he said those awful things to me all those years ago. He had been there through all of mine and Riley's milestones supporting us both. In the moments where I could get past the ache in my chest that cries out for him, that cries out for that 18 year old girl, naive enough to believe that this strong, beautiful, loyal man could have possibly loved her. In those moments I feel myself love him... in a way.
"Sometimes?" I whispered. Hearing for myself how little sense that made. Yet, Zay nodded. Somehow… Somehow he just understood. Somehow he always understood.
"I missed you, Zay" I whisper. Hugging him once more. "I missed you too, Curly"
Silence covered us like a blanket for several moments before I spoke again. "You know we have to tell them tomorrow that we're not really dating, right? I appreciate you trying to make Josh sweat" I ignored the thrill that rose up my spine whenever I so much as muttered his name. "But we're not dating and I don't wanna lie-"
"Shhh, M. You think too much. I never said I gave up on trying to win you over"
"Zay" I groaned, "Not tonight"
"Don't knock me till you try me.. Well you kind-of have but-"
"You know I can't… care- like that again" I muttered softly, cutting him off.
'That's fine." He said sincerely closing his eyes, "I'll care enough for the both of us."
"Plus, that way you can have an announcement at Luke's thing too. I know you've been bummed out about being behind on the relationship scale."
I laughed, " What? This way my announcement; is my lacking in the relationship status department?"
Grinning largely, "Precisely, my dear blonde friend"
Smiling myself, I slapped his arm lightly. And before I knew it, he was snoring lightly.
The relationship Zay and I shared borderlined several possible affiliations. I know that at times he would rather we be more than friends. And there are times that I do as well. But… I refuse to be his Joshua Matthews. I just refuse to.
Zay became my absolute best friend in California. Bringing life back into me after that first year of...Agony. He was a Godsend- IS a Godsend. Nothing was going to change that. At times our relationship was… odd at best. But it was ours and along with the Matthews, my parents (A/N she means her mother and Shawn),Farkle and Smackle and Lucas- Zay and I are a package deal.
Nothing's gonna change that.
Sometime around noon the next day, I was told we were all going to Coney island. An agreement everyone made while I was asleep. Those sneaky little bastards! I hate rides and heights. They all knew it too! That's why they said it was a mutual decision because we were all aware I would bury whose it really was within the grounds of central park before dawn.
Riley seemed a bit off, too. I wasn't sure why and anytime I attempted to bring it up she'd quickly change the subject. It was troubling me more than just a little. A plethora of possibilities just jumbling together in my head. Hopefully I'll be able to corner her and find out what's up with her at the Deathtrap Emporium.
...Those bastards!
That night
Ava, not to my surprise, was the most excited to go to Coney-freaking-Island.
"Okay, It's 6 O'clock and I wanna be on the train by at least seven. So boys, if you please; Get dressed. Girls lets get ready." She jumped around the room to place a sloppy kiss on Auggies cheek. Then skipped right along grabbing mine and Riley's arms pulling us towards the older Mathews teenage bedroom.
"Okay! I brought over an outfit for myself. Took the liberty of picking out Riley's attire, but you" She said pointing a perfectly manicured finger at me, "locked your room door, so I couldn't go through your bags. Not that I thought you would have approved regardless." Ava ranted half parts agitated and all parts sociologically excited. Jumping off into Riley's old private bathroom.
I just groaned, "Can't I just skip this?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"No!" Riley shouted, "C'mon, Maya. Please? I really want to go. Plus, I'll finally be able to go on a double date that doesn't only consist of my younger brother and his girlfriend."
"I can hear you!" Ava shouted from behind the half closed bathroom door. Riley and I just rolled our eyes.
"It'll be cute, Maya." She continued, "I've always wanted to go on a triple date. Plus, it'll be great to go on a date that doesn't consist of my boyfriend's' older sister and her cowboy."
"Ava" Riley warned in the same mocking tone she was using.
"I'll go. But you guys should probably know…" I trailed off nervously.
"Tell us what?" Both Riley and Ava said in unison. Ava opening the door fully to reveal herself pulling on a pair of knee high brown boots starting right below where her maroon frilly dress ended.
"Um, well…"
"Yeah" Riley said, ever so patiently.
"Well Zay and I aren't actually… an uh, a couple" My eyes never leaving the floor. And I was 1000% sure I was redder than Ava's Dress.
"What do you mean you're not a couple!? What about my ship?" She said dejectedly. What freaking ship was she talking about?
"But what about all the intimacy and all the kissing?" Riley asked.
"And let's not forget all the sleeping the same bed together. I mean c'mon! My ships' really not cannon?" The younger girl questioned.
" Cannon? Ship? What are you, a pirate now or…?" I said sarcastically. Really freaking confused. Wasn't it them who were supposed to be puzzled, not me.
"A ship or to ship two people is a pair you want together and cannon means it's true or in fact together" Riley, ever the encyclopedia recited. I rose my eyebrow at her.
"I told you," She sighed. "I have to stop going on double dates with my younger brother and his girlfriend"
"Maya's lack of knowledge of fandom lingo is not the main issue here!" Ava shrieked. "What about all the kissing and intimacy?" She repeated Riley's question.
"Well, Zay and I became best friends after college started. Y'know? We were both far from home and knew no one else. And we just kinda, sort of started depending on one another."
The girls stared intently at me. Only making my cheeks all the more dark.
"Look, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend, but…" I ran my fingers through my mess of curls, embarrassed. " But the kissing wasn't too weird 'cause it wasn't the first time we had done that."
"So are you guys like, friends with benefits?"
"What!? No! No, of course not." I yelled.
"Then what?"
"I-uh" I stuttered, images of the last four years rushing past my eyelids at hyper-speed. All the nights Zay held me as I cried myself to sleep that first year. The evenings we spend drowning our time in tubs of ice-cream watching Supernatural till we fell asleep on my twin sized bed. All the emotions that I had felt sizzle between us, in those small instances making me think that maybe it could be love. But I could never really be sure. That in itself being an answer for me.
When I had realized I was in love with Josh, regardless of my age at the time. It was all consuming and without a doubt. It was common knowledge that simply grew easier to comprehend the older I became. Yet,... the security that engulfs me in Zay's embrace makes me wonder if i'm allowing the heart that never loved me, keep me from the one that truly does.
"I don't really know." I confessed. "Zay and I were all we had back in Cali, okay? He was the only one who knew about me and Josh. He stood by me, and wiped away all the tears and stitched up all of the scars that Josh hadn't even cared enough to realize existed. We're okay sharing a bed because when Josh's ghost haunted me that first semester, it was Zay who held me through the nightmares. It was him who..." I felt the tears begin to pool in my eyes, while I heard my voice crack, I was so sick and tired of crying already! " W-who told me he would love enough for the both of us when I swore I would never love again. Kissed my head when I told him I didn't know if I could ever love him the way I once loved Josh." I felt Riley's hand running up and down my back at the same time Ava moved me to sit on the bay window between them.
"And don't get me wrong, I love him, I swear! I do. But… I dont want to be his Joshua Matthews. But I'll never allow myself to love someone the way I know he loves me. So I told him just that." I laughed humorlessly, " And he just told that it was okay. That he would take anything I was willing to give him. Because, 'He knew what Josh was missing out on'"
"Oh, honey."
"I don't know what's wrong with me, guys"
"Nothing! Nothing is wrong with you, Maya" Ava Said as gently as she could.
"Maya, Josh fucked you up. But you know what? That's part of life. Don't hate yourself because there is someone right outside this room who is willing to care about you beyond the scars that one undeserving man left on you. The love that you still have for Josh, no matter how minuscule, and the love you are able to muster for Zay, in spite of what you went through with Riley's uncle, shows just how strong of a person you are."
"And how capable you are at loving" Riley added just as softly.
I sniffled lightly feeling my face loose its heat of embarrassment, "Thanks Ave. Thanks Riles."
"Your welcome." They both smiled. " Now wipe your face 'cause nothing is getting you out of going with us tonight"
I laughed, running both hands over my wet cheeks.
"C'mon, Peaches go find something to throw on so we can start on makeup and planning the night."
"Ooo" I drawled. "Makeup and scheduling? Score!"
"That's the spirit!"
"Note the sarcasm, guys" I sneered playfully making my way to my room. Once again grateful for the family I had so dearly missed.
They both stuck their tongues out at me pushing me towards the guest bedroom so I'll be ready for their damn death emporium. Rolling my eyes I padded down the hall to my door, passing Lucas and Auggie throwing various sized grapes at each other's mouths to pass the time while the girls got dressed.
"Hey, Curly!" A deep voice sang by my ear, scaring the living shit! out me.
"Oh! Hello Grim Reaper." I feigned a gasp, holding back a smile in order to force a glare his way. Walking fully into the room, hearing the door close as he followed after me.
"So glad to see that you took the form of my treacherousbest friend so that if I die before setting foot on the 'manufacturing of death; fair'. Since it was of course his idea" The bastard smirked in response. I had my suspicions since this morning about this whole Coney Island affair, but the look on his face just proved me right.
I knew It!
"I think you may have just perfected the language of Drama" He teased, wrapping long warm arms around my waist, my back facing his front. Resting his chin on my shoulder he pressed a sweet kiss on my cheek.
These were the exact moments I could allow myself to think that perhaps Zay and I were in fact something, with or without labels to define us. My entire body knowing that right here, right now and in situations like these; there was no harm that could be done to me.
"Actually" I quickly retorted, " That was the language of Sarcasm. That I so happen to be fluent in, thank you very much, Smart-ass." His laugh rumbling in my ears as I pushed off of him to search for my clothes.
"Now get out so I can change" I grinned.
"Alright, alright" Zay said raising his arms up in surrender, making his way to the now open door. Not leaving before calling out in a sing-song voice, "Although! It wouldn't be the first time I see you undress" Throwing a pillow in the direction of the door I shouted, "Oh my God, No you have not, pervert!"
"And what' I just say about my knowledge of Sarcasm, Zay!?"
"That you wouldn't be able to tell what it was if it bit you on the right ass-cheek!", he yelled weirdly specific.
" I'm Fluent, Bitch!" I shouted so he could hear me in the living room. Smiling satisfied as I heard him laugh behind my door.
Okay, lovelies Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think Your feedback really makes my day.
There's some of the fluff I promised but i'm sure you all are bit peeved at my lack of Josh/Maya, just you guys wait, it's coming!
Please comment and tell what you think about Maya and Zay. I can't wait to hear. Alright, Love you guys.
~Geni
