Oh wow, so i'm so sorry for the late update! I have struggled with this chapter a lot but also life and training has gotten in the way - i had 2 law exams, firearms week AND 2 practical assessments to get through in the last few weeks so its been crazy!
I hope people are still interested in reading this and i do promise the gang will be back together - soon i hope!
Chapter 9 – That's Why They Call it the Blues.
Oliver's knees hit the ground with a painful thud, the hard, wet ground below his body, his hands slipping against the sludge below. A deep groan slipped from his lips with the aching feeling that was resonating through Oliver's body as Anatoly circled him once more, like an animal and its prey. "Get up Oliver..." Landing another punch to the side of Oliver's face, sending him body flat into the wet mud.
Coughing, Oliver pushed himself up slowly, spitting out a clump of blood that had formed in his mouth. "Get up Oliver..." Finally, Oliver was standing once more, staggering on the spot a little, not wanting to give Anatoly the chance to get to him again but Anatoly had other plans, instead of setting out land another punch, he lunged at Oliver, sending them both crashing to the ground. Quickly Oliver covered his face with his forearms, blocking all the punches that were being thrown his way.
He needed to find a way to get the upper hand, Oliver needed to find a way to land his own punches on Anatoly. It wasn't that Oliver had never been in a fight before, quite the contrary, he had been in many fights but most of them were against other drunks who could barely stand on their own two feet let alone land a punch. So, he had always come off as the winner.
But not now. Not tonight, not against Anatoly.
Rolling his hips out of pure instinct, Oliver was able to swing Anatoly off of his body, sending the older man tumbling into the muddy ground beside him. Taking the opportunity, Oliver scrambled to his feet, leaning his own body weight on Anatoly before swing one, two, three punches at his body, fighting the urge to wrap his hands around Anatoly's throat.
Oliver's moment of hesitation was enough for Anatoly to gain the upper hand once more, twisting his body so he was suddenly laying on top of Oliver, who was now face down in the mud, both his arms pinned behind his back. All Oliver could do was kick his legs and try to get out of the situation but it was clear he wasn't going to. Letting his body go slack again Anatoly, Oliver let out a huff, telling Anatoly that he was done, that the fight was over and he was admitting defeat.
Slowly Anatoly rolled off Oliver, sitting by his side on the wet ground, both of the men huffing out breaths into the cold North China air. "You…can't…give…up…Oliver…" Each word was punctuated with a breath, Anatoly sucking in deeply as he watched Oliver rise to his knees very slowly.
Somehow Oliver had made his way back to the camp, he had stumbled blindly, unsure of where he was going or how he got back without getting lost, he found himself leaning against an old tree just by the side of the camp site, his legs finally giving out from under him causing him to sink to the ground, his head falling into his hands. The guards had clearly all fallen asleep, it was not unusual for that to happen after about midnight, no one was really going to run away…where would they go? So, they did their rounds and fell asleep.
"Oliver…"
Oliver's head shot up at the sound of someone's voice, it was then he noticed that his hands were shaking, the blood had finally dried and was starting to crack. Instantly Oliver started trying to rub it off, scratching at his own hands to try and force the dry blood away from his skin. "Oliver?" The voice tried again, this time it was closer to him, louder even.
But Oliver didn't look up, he just kept trying to clean off his hands not even realizing that they were already clean. The pressure of someone else's hands on his caught his attention and Oliver looked up to find Anatoly and the other Asian man, the one they knew couldn't speak English, staring at him.
Neither of them had seen Oliver slink off into the night, but they had seen the movement of him coming back but then had seen the slow movements of him against the tree. "I killed him…he ah…he attacked me and I killed him…" There was a broken part of Oliver that allowed the words to come out. A piece of himself missing, he didn't even recognize his own voice.
Anatoly glanced at the man behind him, something unspoken between the two men and the other turned away, his back retreating from view. "Oliver…it's ok. You did what you had to…its ok…" But Oliver just continued to try and scrub his already clean hands clean. Moments later the man returned, handing something small to Anatoly.
Again, Anatoly reached for Oliver's hands, still his movements, before he placed the small object down into his palm. "Look at them…look Oliver…" his words were forceful, forcing Oliver to actually listen to him for a moment. Doing as he was told, Oliver looked down at the small picture in his hands, the worn out edges a familiar setting for him. He started at the faces of Tommy and Felicity, smiling back at him. "You did it to survive. To get back to them. Always remember that…"
And so that's how Oliver and Anatoly found themselves spending most of their nights over the last week, once the guards had gone to sleep, pitted against each other in a fist fight, trying to improve Oliver's abilities. But Anatoly had won all of the last 10 nights, Oliver just getting more and more frustrated as the nights went on.
"Oliver, you need to work harder!" Anatoly narrowed his eyes at Oliver, he was getting angry at Oliver, his own patience wearing thin. But all he got in return was a deep growl from Oliver, his own anger coming through. Suddenly Oliver popped up onto his feet, lunging at Anatoly, before slamming him into the tree behind them. From there, Oliver was able to pin Anatoly to the tree before swinging them both, his forearm wrapping around Anatoly's throat, another growl rumbling in his chest.
After a moment, Anatoly's knees gave out on him, his whole body plus Oliver's dropping to the ground, Oliver's pressure letting off enough that Anatoly could breathe again. "You need to learn to harness that anger Oliver, that power that you have. Without the anger, you would be able to focus more…" Oliver and Anatoly looked over to the man who until that moment, they both assumed only spoke Chinese.
Oliver huffed, "So you do speak English…" he shouldn't have been surprised, it was a wonder how the man had even gotten to the island considering he didn't speak Russian. Oliver pushed himself up onto his feet once more, glancing between Anatoly and the man. Oliver shook his head, his body starting to tire from the day's work and the nights activities. He needed sleep and he needed to rest. 14 months, 14 long months of being on this hell hole of a place, he felt like his body was fighting itself, fighting the will to live and the desire to just die.
"Yao Fei…" The man pointed to himself, giving both the men his name. "You must learn to fight; fighting is strength and strength will keep you alive. If you want to get off this island, we will need to work harder and faster and fight. And we need to get away from here…" He then walked away from the two men, leaving them standing in the now pouring rain.
Shivering, Oliver leaned down to help Anatoly up off the floor, sending him an apologetic look before stalking off in the same direction as Yao Fei had gone, apparently that was back towards their prisoner camp. 14 months of living in fear and pain and now, they finally had some sort of direction to a plan to get off the island, not just an idea.
"Get down!" Anatoly's voice echoed in the darkness of the small camp that had been set up for the three men. It had been two weeks since they had successfully disappeared into the night, making their way as fast and as far as they could in the dark, only stopping once day had broken. Yao Fei had tracked them to an old plane site, the wreckage in pieces but held together enough to provide cover from the elements and a safe space to sleep.
Together they worked with Oliver on his abilities to fight, finding that he had been able improve in leaps and bounds since Yao Fei had taken over his training. But that did not mean that the Russian's stopped trying to find them. Each day the three would venture out from their hiding place, rushing from place to place, gathering food and clean water. Yao Fei had taken up the role of hunting, his abilities with a bow and arrow was beyond anything Oliver had seen in his life.
Luckily, they had been able to stay out of the view of the Russian's looking for them, each day and night came without an incident. But not today.
Today hadn't really gone to plan at all for them. Yao Fei and Oliver had gone out hunting, the rain had eased off and so they took the chance of catching something other than a bird or two. Just as Yao Fie had aimed his arrow into the rabbit that had popped his head up, they had heard the thumping of footsteps behind them.
Anatoly rushed by their sides, trying to find his own place to hide from the incoming men, Yao Fei took off instantly, finding his way up a tree, scaling it easily. Oliver was not as lucky, his feet could feel the movement on the ground before he was even able to get behind a tree, thankful that the men were too focused on the other direction that they didn't actually see Oliver hide.
Resting his back against the tree, Oliver tried to steady his breathing, keeping it low and slow so it couldn't be hear and would also help to bring his heart rate down. Closing his eyes, Oliver clenched his fits, trying to keep himself as hidden as possible. Glancing to his side when he heard the movement of plants to his left, noticing that the guard was tracking right by him but still didn't know he was there.
But he did notice the movement of Anatoly only meters away, his weapon raised, his step slowing. There was no way to tell if Anatoly had known that he had been seen and so Oliver knew it was up to him to distract him in some way. Taking two deep breaths, Oliver rounded the opposite side of the tree, rolling around it so he was coming up behind the guard.
What Oliver was going to do when he reached him? He honestly had no idea but he had to do something to help his friend. Step by step, Oliver was able to reach the guards back without being heard, his footsteps lighter than he ever thought possible and in an instant his forearm wrapped around the guard's neck, much like he had done to Anatoly weeks ago, his whole body latching onto the guards back like he was getting a piggy back ride.
The more the guard thrashed, the tighter Oliver held on, squeezing his muscles around his throat, cutting off whatever circulation the guard had left. Slowly the guard dropped to his knees, also much like Anatoly had done in the same situation with Oliver. From there, Oliver slipped his body from the back of the guard, to the front, reversing his hold, the guard's neck sitting right under his armpit.
With a quick flash of his gaze to Anatoly, who was now staring at Oliver, Oliver closed his eyes, took a deep breath, before leaning his weight backwards, bringing the guards chin and head backwards all the while snapping his own body at the same time, hearing and feeling the snap of the neck bones under his own hands.
This was the second time a small part of Oliver was lost to that island.
Yao Fei and Anatoly found themselves at Oliver's side, the three men looking down at the body at their feet. This was the moment that everything changed for Oliver. He had taken another life with his hands, no weapon or help…he was the weapon.
How could she be standing here again? Felicity had been to more funerals in the last 18 months than she ever had in her entire life, something she never actually wanted to do again. Another day to say goodbye to someone she cared about. Another day to cry and grieve and another day to watch her friends fall apart.
Thea clung to Felicity, her little arms wrapped around her waist, holding Felicity as tight to her as she possibly could. Felicity would never let go, she wouldn't let Thea down and she wouldn't leave her. The poor young girl had lost her big brother, the person she looked up to the most, the one she wanted to be by her side for ever and a day.
And now, there they stood, on the thick grass of the Queen grounds, the darkening clouds taking over the skies. Thea has lost her big brother and now her father. Robert Queen has died of a heart attack, the stress of losing Oliver and work piling up had taking over his life over the last 12 months and now he was gone.
Felicity hated that word.
Gone.
It was so final, painful and ending.
Oliver was there one day, laughing next to her, smiling or hugging her and then he was just gone. Disappearing from her life, losing the one person that she held most dear.
Robert Queen was having a drink one night with his wife after a long day at the office, talking about his day and then he was just gone.
Sighing, she hugged Thea closer to her side, the 15-year-old clutching to her, Tommy standing by Felicity's other side, his hand in hers. Mostly because it was an all too familiar reminder to them both of the day, they buried the empty coffin in the grave next to Robert's. Laurel was on his other side, her hand also in his.
The rest of the service was a blur for Felicity, she remembered Moira crying, Thea sobbing, Tommy tightening his grip on Felicity's hand and she just stood there, staring at the open grave, the coffin being lowered gently into it. Never in her life had Felicity thought she would have to stand in this part of the back garden again, she had pushed aside the memories of the last time she was there.
Somehow, Felicity had found herself standing in front of Oliver's headstone, what felt like hours later but if you'd asked her, there was no way Felicity could have told anyone how long she had been standing there.
"Hey..."
Felicity's head popped up at the sound of the voice behind her. She hadn't expected anyone still be out there let along coming to her side. It had been probably well over an hour since Roberts funeral and everyone had made their way inside. Everyone except Felicity and it seemed Tommy.
Glancing to her side, Felicity found Tommy standing right by her side, his hands in his pockets, the collar of his jacket pulled up to cover his neck, the cold wind had picked up the minute the service for Robert was over. They both stood in silence for what felt like forever, both staring at the cream coloured headstone with Oliver's name scrawled across the front of it.
It was just over 12 months since he'd disappeared and had been declared dead, actually 14 months and 8 days (but who was counting?) leaving a hole in both of their lives and their hearts. "I miss him so much..." Felicity spoke softly, hold her own hands tightly against themselves. It was true, Oliver had become such a staple in her life that she didn't even realised there was a time he wasn't in it. She missed him, missed his voice and his smile. It now felt like she was missing a part of herself because he was gone. She'd been so-
"You loved him."
It wasn't a question or an accusation, it was just a comment, a realisation that Tommy should have had when Oliver was still around. After a few slow and steadying breaths Felicity looked up at him, blinking back the tears, but it didn't do much to stop them from falling. "I think so. I mean I know I—" she swallowed back the lump that had suddenly formed, she couldn't lie to herself anymore let alone Tommy. "Yeah I guess I did."
It was a realisation that Felicity had come to not long after Oliver's death, she had dreamed about him every night, just hearing his voice or his seeing his smile or feeling his touch. He was just the comforting presence that surrounded her when she slept but left her as she woke up. She always knew there was more to her feelings for him than friendship but love? Love was not something she wanted to admit to herself.
Slowly, Tommy slipped his arm around Felicity's shoulder, bringing her into his side. They stood in silence together, remembering the times they had with Oliver as the afternoon turned to evening around them. "I think he loved you too you know…" Tommy finally spoke, holding her tighter around the shoulders. "I had never seen Oliver so intent on spending time with someone who wasn't me that I think he loved you more than he was willing to admit."
Felicity sniffed, there was so much of her that wanted to hear that Oliver loved her, that there was even a possibility that playboy Oliver Queen could have had any feelings for her at all past friendship but the fact that Oliver wasn't there and that he was dead, Felicity really didn't want to know that sort of information when there was nothing she could do with it.
Instead she just curled herself into Tommy's side, hanging on to him as she remembered Oliver and his light that shone in her life. She loved Oliver Queen but he was never coming back to her.
"Oliver..." her voice lit up the world around him, her light laughter echoing in his head. Oliver looked around, finding Felicity floating in the pool in the backyard of the Queens mansion. It wasn't often that they were able to get into the pool on such a nice day without Thea or her friends taking over so Oliver planned on making use of the time he could spend with Felicity, alone. Smiling, he padded barefoot to the side of the pool, the sun beating down on his bare back and shoulders.
But he didn't care about the heat of the sun, Felicity was smirking at him from the water, wading her way to meet him by the edge. Slowly he sat and lay on his stomach, his chin on the back of his hands resting against the edge of the pool, inches from her wet face, her hair sticking to the sides of her face, droplets on her eyelashes.
"Hey baby..." he whispered as he sucked in a deep breath, calm and happy as he lay on the hot bricks. "You look relaxed." He somehow had known she had felt stressed lately by had no idea why she had felt that way. He honestly had no idea how he even knew she'd been stressed. She just nodded, bringing her lips ever so close to his.
Oliver and Felicity just stared at each other, daring the other to lean in the first into the awaiting kiss. "Just don't touch me ok. I don't want to get blood on my new suit." She whispered before leaning into him but before Felicity's lips touched his, Oliver pulled away, shocked at her words.
But as he lifted his head, Oliver looked down at his hands, blood soaking them, dripping down his fingers and into the pool, diluting around Felicity. "What?" He didn't know what was happening or how it was happening but the mansion behind him suddenly slipped away, the deep, dense forest taking its place. But the pool and Felicity remained, her position hadn't changed.
"What do you expect when you kill someone Oliver? There will always be blood on your hands..." Oliver looked back at Felicity, somehow finding himself standing once more, the blood had dropped down his hands to his arms and elbows, the two bodies at his feet of the men he had killed staring up at him. "No... Felicity, no I..." but as he lunged for her, she was gone, Oliver scrambling to his feet, his head whipping around to try and gauge where he was.
But almost instantly, the two bodies at his feet grew, one more adding, the blonde hair stained red. A shuddering sob wracked through Oliver's body as he realised that Felicity was now laying on the two men he had already killed. Racing to her, Oliver felt his knees hit the ground but Felicity-
Oliver shot up from his position on the floor, his entire body convulsing from fear, sweat streaking down his chest and back, his hands tightening into fists. "Oliver…Oliver, it's ok…" Anatoly's voice filtered its way into Oliver's head but it wasn't enough. Nothing was enough to get the image of Felicity out of his mind, seeing her laying there, the red and purple marks around her neck, the light missing from her eyes. Sitting up instantly, he pushed Anatoly out of the way before he scrambled to his feet, rushing from their hiding place into the bushes nearby, emptying whatever was in his stomach.
He was shaking, his entire body shaking at the memory of her dead body, of the dead bodies of the two men he had killed and shaking from the fear of what might come next. Slowly he slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling out the photo of him, Tommy and Felicity. His eyes only glued to her bright eyes, wishing he could see them once more but realising that he wasn't the same person he was that she knew, he wasn't the same person who had become her best friend. Bringing the photo to his chest, Oliver closed his eyes, all he could see was her body once more, his stomach somersaulting again, retching against itself.
Yao Fei and Anatoly reached for Oliver, almost dragging him back inside their cover, an old plan that had seemed to have crashed many years ago. It covered their presence and provided shade and cover from the elements. It was also a little warmer inside and made for somewhat comfortable sleep arrangements, still sleeping on the floor but at least they weren't sleeping on dirt or rocks.
Laying Oliver back on to his blanket, they both watched concerned as he just rolled his head to the side, his eyes closing instantly, the photo gripped tightly in his hand, mumbling to himself, what both other men knew sounded like I'm sorry Felicity, as darkness took over him.
Oliver opened his eyes slowly, staring up at the inside of the plane. He sighed, remembering how he had gotten there, the blood on his hands and the hole in his soul. He was missing a part of himself and if he ever got off this island, there would be no way he would be able to be his whole self again. He knew he wanted to get home, to his mother, to his sister, his Tommy, his Felicity and his -
"Hello Oliver".
-His father.
Standing up suddenly Oliver came face to face with his father. What he was doing there? "What? What are you doing here?" Oliver took in his father, there was something about him, something different. It was clear he was dreaming; Oliver wasn't stupid. He knew this was a dream but there was just something about his father, an air about him.
"I'm asking you; I'm begging you to survive Oliver. You've done things to survive here. But you have to keep going. You have to be better than I ever was. If you don't think can, if you don't think you can make it home and be a better man, then there is a million ways for you to die. Here. Alone."
Robert looked around and that's when Oliver noticed what he was wearing, it was the same suit he would wear when he was going to his most important meetings, the same suit that he always said cost him so much that he would be buried in it. "Dad? I'm so tired and I'm starving and I'm probably going to die anyway. What do I have to survive for?"
Robert smiled at Oliver, reached for the photo that Oliver still held tightly in his hand. "Survive this Oliver and you get back to them, to your family, to your friends, to the one you love. You are strong son. You have fought already for so long that you just have to keep fighting."
But Oliver huffed, "I'm not as strong as you think I am dad. I've killed people, I've got their blood on my hands. How could I ever come home to my family, touch them, hold them knowing what I've done. Where would I go? What would I do?" It had been a long while since Oliver had the chance to have a good heart to heart with his father but he suddenly had the chance, only in his dreams.
"You lived Oliver, you survived that boat crash, you've been given a gift and if you think that taking your own life will make up for the things you've had to do since you got here, then you are throwing that gift away. You are throwing away a gift that most would kill for, that I would have killed for-"
Groaning, Oliver pushed away from his father, "I'm not you dad alright! We both know that I am not the son you wanted, you were always disappointed in me and it's clear that that is not going to change. I can never be you."
A hand touched Oliver's shoulder, his eyes slipping closed at the faint touch, the desperation for it to be real, "You are better than me son. The things I've allowed to happen in our city, in our home…You need to survive Oliver. You need to right my wrongs. You are the only one who can!"
"Dad, I don't know what that means…please…" Oliver's voice was soft, broken, unsure. Almost like he was a young child again, scared of upsetting his father. Slowly, Oliver turned around, Robert's hands were back by his sides, the picture back in Oliver's grasp, a grasp he would never let go of. "How do I do this dad? I can't even get off this island…" Oliver wanted to cry, he wanted to scream and shout and get angry but there was nothing left, there were no emotions left for him to feel.
Smiling Robert stood closer to Oliver, "I love you son. I have always loved you and I have always believed in you. Survive, live and right my wrongs…"
Gasping, Oliver sat up suddenly, the sunlight had started to shine through the missing parts of the plane. He was alone but he could hear Yao Fei and Anatoly outside. Slowing his breathing down, Oliver pocketed the photo once more before heading out to see the two men. Closing his eyes, Oliver sucked in a deep breath, his father words washing over him once more, "I love you son. I have always loved you and I have always believed in you".
Yao Fei and Anatoly looked towards Oliver, sensing something had changed with the younger man. Oliver smiled slightly at them both, he knew what he had to do. "We are getting off this island…tonight."
Any chance of a review? let me know what you guys think or if you're still interested! love keeps me going!
