Chapter 47: Right here waiting

Sitting cross-legged on the floor of his bedroom, Hikaru leaned back slightly to rest against the side of his bed. Seconds slid by slowly, almost at a crawl before he finally closed his eyes and sighed heavily. It had been a bad game today, a match unlike himself in so many ways. His intensity, passion, even his desire to play had been absent, making the fact that he'd won the game seem even stranger.

This was not the first time he had felt badly about his game, and felt a lack of desire to play. It had occurred after Sai had left him too, but that time it had taken playing a game to find his mentor again within the lines and stones on the board. He had found Sai there within the stones he placed on the board, but now he was not searching for his friend and mentor, but rather for himself.

Grandpa's loss had been painful, and even in being able to say goodbye he'd struggled to let it simply pass on. Glancing over to the corner of his room Hikaru eyed the Go boards sitting there gathering dust ever since he'd placed them there two days ago; his inheritance. Apparently his grandfather had left instructions that Hikaru be given both his grandfather's own board along with Torajiro's board and several other items including a fair assortment of wall scrolls from his grandfather's packrat collection. However, Hikaru insisted on leaving Torajiro's board at the attic – he just felt it was where the board belonged.

"Hikaru!" his mother called from the bottom of the stairs, interrupting his thoughts, "you have a letter from the Go Association!"

Answering her, Hikaru scratched the back of his neck for a moment wondering what on earth it could be before he pulled himself to his feet. He'd already received the game schedule for the next several weeks, and while he wasn't on it again until the third week it seemed unlikely that a change had occurred. Then again, most other issues like teaching games and Go events were discussed over the phone or in person, leaving Hikaru clueless as to what it could have been.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Hikaru tore open the envelope and removed the letter inside. As he began to read the short message on it Hikaru found his breath stop as his eyes widened slightly. A moment later however it was past as a slight smile slid over Hikaru's face. Well, it certainly made sense, and he had to admit that he probably should have been expecting this to happen. Man, I wonder how the others will take it?

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"Akira, how is Shindo doing?"

Turning to look at Hirumi, Akira answered solemnly, "I haven't seen or spoken with him since the wake, so I can't be certain. I think he's taken his grandfather's death pretty hard, and right now Go isn't on his mind for the first time in a long while."

His brow contorting, Hirose then asked, "But if you haven't talked to him, how can you be sure of that? It's understandable that Shindo-pro would be upset by it, but perhaps he's doing better now?"

Closing his eyes, and reopening them a moment later, Akira answered, "Because except for my game last week against Zama Oza, I have come here every day for the last week and a half and Shindou hasn't come here to see me once."

"But Young Master," Kitajima interjected, "how can you be sure that Shindo will come here when he's recovered from this?"

"That's because we haven't played our game yet. His grandfather's death may have interrupted it, but official or not, Hikaru and I will play that game when he's ready. I know this, and I'm certain he knows it in his heart too." Rising from his seat, Akira then said, "Please forgive me for not being able to play more, but I need to return to preparing for my Honinbo League match against Fujisawa-sensei on Thursday." With that Akira bowed and then turned and moved off toward the back of the Go Salon, a place he had been spending so much time as of late, studying alone. It pained Kitajima to say it, but he was beginning to miss Hikaru's visits, if only for the young master's sake.

Reaching an empty table in the back corner, Akira took his seat and slid the Go bowls to his side of the board . Akira had on and off considered going over to Hikaru's house to check up on him, but had rejected it. Hikaru was in a state of mourning, Akira was not sure if Hikaru would like himself to be seen in that state. Akira recalled the warmth of Hikaru's hands and body in his embrace, the heat of Hikaru's tears on his shoulder. Did this mean that their relationship had reached a new level, earned a new face, or was it only because of Hikaru's loss and sorrow?

Mindlessly, Akira reached into his pocket and found a small piece of paper. Opening it, Akira's eyes widened slightly as he realized that he had grabbed the wrong piece of paper off his desk at home. This wasn't Fujisawa's game record from his Game 4 Tengen Finals match against Nogi Tengen, it was the letter he'd recently received from the Go Association. He must have grabbed it by mistake, being in the hurry that he had been in the hopes that Hikaru might show up today. It was likely that Hikaru had received his own letter by now, if such a thing even mattered to him at the moment.

Still, unlike Hikaru's grandfather his own father had recovered so Akira really had no idea how long this might last, or in what state Hikaru would return. He had won his Fujitsu preliminary match, but the match had not been recorded so Akira had not been able to see how Hikaru's game had been affected. Whether his strategies had changed, his mental fortitude shaken, his game a mess, all these things Akira did not know, and until Hikaru was able to recover and stand before him once more, Akira would have to continue to wait. Still, time was moving forward, and Hikaru only had so long before he would have to stand tall again or fall by the wayside. Glancing down at the letter once more, Akira exhaled softly. Come Hikaru, stand before me once more, let us play the game we both yearn to play.