So this chapter pretty much set up this whole story – I originally had this planned and I've written around this chapter.
This should clean up some of the question you've all had, especially after the last chapter. Sorry I took forever to post this, its been finished for about 4 days and I've just been sitting on it.
I have a few assessments and exams coming up this week and next so the next update may not come as quick as I would like but I promise more will come!
Please review :D
Chapter 17 – Are You Real?
"So, what's new in the world of Thomas Merlyn?" Oliver sat in the passenger side of Tommy's Porsche, watching the world go by around him. This was the first time he'd actually made it outside without someone hanging off him, whether it be Thea or his mother. He was finally happy to just be spending time with his best friend.
Tony smirked, so much had happened but then at the same time, so much had happened. Between his father disappearing again, Felicity's crazy ex situation and his relationship with Laurel, he didn't really know where to start.
Felicity's situation was not his to tell, although Tommy had long decided that she needed to tell Oliver about what happened, if for nothing else, just to make sure if Cooper ever did decide to come back, he wouldn't be shocked.
Laurel was a different story, how do you tell your best friend, who you thought had died but has now come back from the dead, that you are in a committed relationship with his ex-girlfriend, whose sister he had slept with and who had now disappeared. "I'm sure there has been a parade of woman since my funeral?" He laughed, hoping to make light of the situation.
Tommy threw his head back, laughing, "Oh it was like shooting fish in a barrel man!" Oliver shook his head; Tommy was terrible but he was no surprised in the slightest. "Nah man, it's been good man…" he waited, thinking if he should mention Laurel. "I'm seeing someone actually…"
That caught Oliver's attention, his head shooting up, "Wow, Tommy Merlyn boyfriend? I'm shocked!" He laughed, but smiled back at Tommy, "Anyone I know?" It was unlikely, it had been 3 years, who knows who he had met in that time.
But Tommy decided to give Oliver a little truth, "Yeah actually you do know her but it's still pretty early so once I know what we are doing, then I'll let you know." Well it was kind of the truth; he and Laurel had been together for a while but Tommy just wasn't ready to tell Oliver that.
Oliver seemed to take that information, happy enough for his best friend. Turning away from Tommy, Oliver looked back out the window, wondering who he knows that might have caught his attention but then they turned into QC, Oliver planning on meeting his mother to sign a few documents before seeing the judge in a few days. But Oliver had an ulterior motive, he remembered that Felicity had been doing her internship there and he wanted to see if anyone knew where she had moved to.
Something had been going on around QC all day, everyone seemed to almost be on edge but at the same time, excited. Felicity didn't really care though; she didn't have time to care if she was being honest. She wanted to do her work and go home and she had a lot of work to do, and it was only 11.30am on a Monday morning. She already just wanted to melt into a tub of mint chip and forget about the world.
It was coming up to Oliver's birthday, which meant the she and Tommy tried to spend a bit more time together than they had been, trying to do something that they knew that Oliver would have liked but QC would always be a little more sombre than usual, everyone feeling uneasy around anyone from the family. The sober feeling hit her more than most around the building, although no one really knew that, she hid it well. She just wished she could spend time with Thea as well.
Ah Thea.
Felicity sighed. That poor girl had struggled so much since losing her brother and then her father. She had been there for her - they'd gotten incredibly close for a while there but she still struggled, even developing a drug addiction. It had been hard for them all. Felicity had watched her from a distance, keeping an eye on any media articles that might have come out about her, wiping them from the internet as soon as they popped up. It was the least she could do.
"Felicity Smoak? I'm Oliver Queen." Oh, that voice, that soft, gentle voice she had wished to hear again. Spinning in her seat, Felicity came face to face with her past, a distant memory of what he may have looked like if he was still around. Felicity blinked at him, red pen sitting in between her fingers, her mouth opening and closing as she watched him. Did she fall asleep at her desk and she was dreaming about him? It wouldn't be the first time, actually she dreamed about Oliver most nights of the week.
His hair was shorter.
"Well you did always tell me how much you hated it long..." Oliver smiled back at her, his hands clasped in front of his, just waiting for her to speak. But it was only silence that filled the space, Felicity just taking in the vision in front of her. She had groaned a little when she realised, she'd said it out loud but she didn't care, Felicity just wanted to bask in him standing there. She liked this dream.
Movement beside Oliver caught his attention instantly, turning to the side, looking back at a man by his side. "Oh Mr. Queen. Welcome to the IT department, I had heard you were in the building. Welcome back, Arthur James." Felicity blinked as she watched Oliver shake her bosses' hand. This was becoming the strangest dream she'd ever had with Oliver involved.
"Nice to meet you Mr. James. Please call me Oliver. Mr. Queen was my father."
Arthur smiled back at Oliver before looking towards Felicity, who hadn't kept her eyes off Oliver, her mouth still open, eyes wide, to the outside world she looked like a school girl seeing her crush, a deer caught in headlights. Arthur spoke quickly, trying to cover up the embarrassment that was Felicity Smoak. "I'm sorry Oliver. You'll have to forgive Ms. Smoak, I don't know what has gotten into her." He had noticed that she hadn't moved, clearly to her boss, he thought she was star struck with Oliver, like every other woman on the floor. "Felicity!"
The sound of his loud voice pulled Felicity from her thoughts, her small cubical had started to become a little more crowded, with others from her department - mostly the woman - had come to see Oliver Queen, who was here, standing in her space, staring at her with the same soft eyes he always did. By this stage, her whole department was standing by her cubicle, their heads popped up over the edges of her wall.
This dream had added a few bonus' to her image of Oliver, his chest and shoulders were much broader than she ever remembered. But for everything she was looking at and ever dream she'd ever had of him being back in her life, his hair was short. It was never short in her dreams; it was always long and horrible - just like she remembered.
"Felicity, this is very inappropriate. I am so sorry Oliver." Her boss tired again. Becoming increasingly frustrated that his employee was staring at the previous CEOs son.
"Your hair is short..." She finally spoke, her voice was loud, shocked. A little more conviction than she gave before. The only words out of her mouth. He smiled at her, watching as the realisation flashed over her face. "Your hair is short…" That was all she could say, the only words that would fall from her lips.
The crowd had increased in size, each of them wanting to get a chance to look or talk to Oliver but Felicity didn't notice, all she saw was him. Suddenly, Felicity pushed her chair back from her desk, rushing around the side of her desk and launched herself into his arms, Oliver catching her instantly, his arms wrapping around her waist as his face buried in her neck.
There were gasps and sounds of shock around the two, Mr James was appalled at Felicity's action. "Ms Smoak, what do you think you are doing?" But Oliver just held her closer, feeling her shudder against him as tears slipped down her cheeks.
"Oh god, I've missed you…" His voice filled her ears, the words over and over again, words she would want to hear every minute of every day. Slowly he placed her back on the floor, a watery smile pulling at his lips as he looked down at her.
Felicity blinked away the tears, still ignoring her boss who just seemed to not understand that she had known Oliver in the past. She touched his face, his cheeks, his eyes and his lips, "Are you real?" and he nodded, her arms wrapping around his neck once more. "Oliver Queen, don't you ever do that to me again!" He laughed at her, nodding his head. Her hand slipped up to his hair, feeling just how short it was. Something tugged at Oliver when she did that, a distance feeling and memory.
Pulling away from each other, Felicity started to realise that they were surrounded by co-workers and her boss. Straightening her back, Felicity took a step back from Oliver, but he didn't want to let go of her hand. "I'm sorry Mr. James, Felicity and I knew each other – before…" Oliver didn't even bother looking back at her boss, his eyes trained only on her. "Am I able to steal Felicity for lunch?"
He really didn't even wait for Mr. James to answer, he just reached for her hand and pulled her towards the elevator. Felicity followed silently; her eyes trained on him the whole time. She couldn't believe he was real; couldn't believe he was there. After 3 years without him in her life, he was back.
Alive.
It didn't take long until they were seated at a small table on the outdoors seating areas of a café, the sun was shining around them. Felicity just watched him, watched him smile at her, watched him as he ordered some a jug of water. There as a part of her that still believed this was a dream.
"You're blonde now?" Oliver's voice cut through her thoughts, causing Felicity to shake her head. Oliver had noticed her staring at him, but at the same time he couldn't stop looking at her either. She had grown up over the last 3 years, she was still the same, beautiful and bright but she had grown, matured but still as beautiful as ever.
Felicity blushed a little, the memory of why she was now blonde flashed in her mind, pushing it away, letting herself smile at the fact that he realised. Although brunette to blonde hair isn't hard to miss. "Oh yeah…I needed a change." She shrugged, hoping he didn't ask to many questions.
His smile widened, he loved the blonde on her, "I love it. It looks amazing on you."
Her blush deepened, it wasn't the first time that Oliver had given her a compliment but this was 3 years in the making, the voice she longed to hear after so long. Laughing, she played it off, "And here I thought brunettes were Ollie Queen's type."
Oliver huffed a short laugh, shaking his own head as he looked down for a moment, contemplating his next words. "Yeah well…I'm not sure Ollie Queen really exists anymore..." Felicity tilted her head to the side, taking him in for a moment.
He was different, of course he was different. 3 years on an isolated island, everyone thinking he was dead, not knowing if he'd ever make it back to his family. But he had also changed behind his eyes, he was darker now, more pained. Felicity could always read Oliver Queen like an open book, she knew him better than anyone else in the world, so seeing the change in his eyes scared her a little. But again, having to fend for himself would have been enough to harden anybody.
And then there was his body. Oliver Queen always had an amazing body, he had always been skinny but fit and he knew he looked good. All the times he was shirtless going into the pool or how he just knew how girls looked at him. But now, the way his Henley shirt pulled against his chest, stretching over his arms when he moved. Oliver was toned. She could only imagine the muscles that were under that shirt. Did he have abs? Was his back as muscly as his front?
Realising that she was staring, Felicity flashed her eyes back up to his face, that stupid smirk he held for her was back on his face. He had noticed her staring at him. "Shut up! I still don't know if I believe that this isn't a dream. Usually you don't interact with other people in my dreams…"
Oh no. She shouldn't have said that.
Oliver jumped on that instantly, "So you dream about me huh? Is that something new or did you always dream about me?" Oh, how she hated him. She really wanted to slap that smirk off his face.
Reaching over, Felicity slapped his arm, "Funny." But she shrugged, "It was always just hearing your voice, having you come home." She felt bad for the sadness on his face, she knew that it had upset him to know that she dreamed about him coming home.
They sat quietly for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company when Felicity brushed her hair out of her face and behind her right ear, the sun catching the piece of jewellery that was there. Oliver stopped eating when he caught sight of it, his smile widening instantly, "Oh wow, where did you find that?"
Felicity looked up confused until Oliver reached out to touch the top of her ear where the industrial bar sat. After all this time, Felicity still wore the wavy bar that he had bought her. She felt herself turn into his touch, "This Felicity…where did you find this?" His fingers lingered on her ear, taking in the feel of her skin.
A small "oh" shape found its way onto Felicity's lips before she smiled, blushing deeply, "Your mum gave it to me at your funeral. She said you'd planned on giving it to me for my birthday…" Felicity let her own fingers run over the bar, remembering how much she had cried on his mother's shoulder that day. "I needed to get away from everyone, so I snuck up into your room, she found me sitting on your bed, she thought I was just one of those girls until she realised it was me. She gave it to me…"
Oliver just nodded, a suddenly heavy feeling taking over him when he thought of his own funeral and Felicity being there, sad and crying where he couldn't hold her. "Happy Birthday Felicity…" he mumbled, loud enough for Felicity to hear before his hand dropped to her free one, holding it tightly.
Suddenly Felicity glanced down at her watch and found that her lunch with Oliver had gone for over 2 hours, "Ah man, I should go back to work…"
Oliver looked up shocked, he couldn't believe they had sat there that long, "Yeah…I wouldn't want you to get into trouble." He stood, reaching for her hand out of reaction, walking next to her towards the entranceway. Someone dropped a glass behind him, the loud crashing sounds of glass and plates. Oliver spun, his hand reaching out for Felicity instantly, pushing her behind him as though to protect her.
But she was safe, he was safe. He looked over to a young girl who was crouched on the ground, cleaning up her mess. He closed his eyes tightly, he tried to slow his breathing down. He was home, not everyone was out to get him, but that didn't stop him from being alert.
The feel of a warm hand on his arm shocked him, causing him to jump once more, sending him spinning around to look at Felicity. His eyes darkened for a moment until he realised it was her staring back at him. "Come on. You're gonna be late…"
He took her hand again, ignoring the confused and concerned look on her face.
Letting go of her concern for a little while, Felicity decided to relish in the feel of her hand in his and followed him out the entranceway. "Well he can't get mad at me if I've been with the boss's son..." Felicity sighed deeply, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. "Really? That's the line I go with?" Oliver smirked back at her as they slowed down in front of QC, god he had missed her slip of the tongue.
They stood in silence for a moment before Felicity reached out to touch his face, as if still unsure that he was real. Her fingers touched him gently, taking in the feel of his stubble on his cheeks, the short length of his hair and the soft skin of his forehead. "God, I've missed you Oliver. I still can't believe you are home."
Oliver just reached out to hug her tightly, needing to feel her again, finding that her touch had grounded him better than anything ever had. "I missed you too Felicity. You have no idea how much." HE spoke into her neck before pulling away, masking his sadness with a fake Ollie Queen smile. "Tonight, mum's having a dinner, it's a thing…" He shrugged, "Please come…I want you there…"
Felicity hesitated, she desperately wanted to go and spend time with Oliver but she knew she wasn't welcome in the house anymore but she could never say no to Oliver, not when he looked at her like that. Sighing she nodded, watching as his smile changed from his mask to something real.
Oh, this was a very bad idea.
With one last tight hug, Oliver watched Felicity head back into the building, something settled over him watching her go. She was one of the people he was so desperate to see when he came home, he just didn't know how hard it would be. She had changed, he could see it behind her eyes but so had he. He didn't miss how she had watched him closely when he jumped at the sound of the crashing glass, how he had pushed her behind him to keep her safe. Sighing he headed away from the building, keeping his head down to avoid being seen by too many people just yet.
Felicity sighed as she stood under the cover near the Queen Mansion front door, she really hoped that Tommy would have been there to walk her in but he as running late and she would have to do this on her own. Taking a deep breath, she knocked heavily on the wooden door, waiting a few minutes before it opened, Raisa standing on the other side.
The older woman hadn't changed at all, older yes but she was the same. Felicity could see the moment of realisation on her face when she noticed it was Felicity. "Oh! Miss Felicity! It's so good to see you!" She ushered Felicity into the entrance, giving her a tight hug, which Felicity returned instantly. She had missed Raisa.
Before she could speak, Moira and Thea were standing in front of them. "Ms. Smoak, I didn't know you were joining us…" Moira was shocked, shocked to see Felicity standing there, shocked that it took her son less than 24 hours to track her down and shocked to see the blonde hair on the young girl. Thea didn't speak, she just eyed Felicity angrily.
Felicity plastered a sweet smile on her face, she wasn't going to cause any upset tonight, tonight was about Oliver. "Mrs. Queen, Thea. It's nice to see you again. I apologise, I thought Oliver would have told you. We had lunch today and he invited me." She really didn't want to throw Oliver under the bus about this but he should have told him mother she was coming.
"Yes, well he didn't inform me. I wouldn't have expected you to come either." It was a harsh statement, reminding Felicity that she was not welcome in the family.
"Felicity!" Oliver's voice caught their attention, they looked up to see him coming their way, a bright smile on his face, the grey suit he wore was amazing on him, he filled it out very, very well. "I'm so glad you are here." He hugged her when he came to her side, pulling her closer to him, both protecting her and welcoming her.
Felicity stiffly returned the hug, "You did ask me to come Oliver. I wouldn't have missed this welcome home for the world…"
It was then that they looked back at Moira and Thea, the other Queen's narrowing their eyes at Felicity just watching as they walked away, not saying another word. She sighed out deeply when she realised that they had gone, a breath that she didn't know she was holding. Glancing up at Oliver, she took in his confused face, hoping he wouldn't ask what was going on.
But she was wrong, of course he would ask, he was always going to ask. He reached for her arm as she went to walk away, stopping her in her tracks and turning her around to face him. "Felicity…Fe-li-ci-ty? What is going on with you? And don't say-"
"Nothing."
"-Nothing. You've never lied to me before. The truth, please."
Clenching her jaw, she hated the way that held still read her so well, there was nothing she could hide from him. She really didn't want to tell him what had happened but he held her arm tightly enough that she wasn't going anywhere until she spoke.
"I told you my father abandoned us…me..." Oliver nodded sadly, he remembered the day she had told him about her family, "Well I barely remember him but I do remember how much it hurt when he left. And the thought of losing someone that important to me again…" She looked up at him sadly, he eyes shining with tears. It hurt Oliver to see her that way.
He reached out for her, his hands resting on her cheek, "Hey. You're not going to lose me. Whatever is bothering you, you can tell me." He felt her shaking under his touch, whatever was going on was really upsetting her.
Felicity sighed, running her hand over her hair nervously before she spoke. She was now running the risk of losing Oliver forever but she had to tell him. He needed to know. "It was about 18 months ago... Oliver, you have to understand, Thea had just lost her father and her brother not long before that. She was a wreck. I took her to a bar for her birthday, it was for a band she really wanted to see. So, I bought tickets for her birthday, got her into the bar. She just didn't tell me she was grounded."
Oliver nodded, ok so he could see why his mother was upset with her but it seemed it was an extreme reaction to Felicity taking Thea to a bar.
But she continued, "She said she was going to the bathroom and when she came back, she was happy, it was the first time I'd seen her smile for a while. But it wasn't because she was happy. She'd taken something while in the bathroom and it didn't take long before she passed out against me"
Oliver's breath stopped, he knew Thea had a drug addiction, he just never thought it had gotten that bad, slowly he let his hands fall from Felicity's shoulders, a shocked look on her his face was enough to freak her out.
Rushing the next part, Felicity felt Oliver pulling away, "I called the ambulance, got her to the hospital, called your mum... Thea has slipped into a coma by the time she got there." Oliver couldn't speak, he had no idea. He'd hoped she had grown out of the drugs but clearly not.
Felicity took a step away from him, a physical way of showing she was ready for him to kick her out, she was protecting herself from the heartache that was coming. "Your mum blames me. She told me to stay away from Thea and herself." Oliver's eyes snapped up to look Felicity in the eyes, shocked, she stopped him from talking, "I went back a few days later, thought maybe your mum had calmed down but she had an orderly remove me from the hospital. The last I heard, your mum told Thea I left her, that a stranger called the ambulance and I never showed up at the hospital." She wiped at her eyes, hating herself for crying in front of him. "Tommy keeps me updated and checks in for me though."
So that was the story, that's why his mother and Tommy had both told him that Felicity had moved away, this is why they didn't want her around. By why would Tommy have agreed to this? As far as he knew – when he had come into Starling those years ago – Felicity and Tommy were close friends.
He suddenly noticed that she had moved away from him and so he stepped closer to her, he needed her to know that he didn't blame her. "I'm so sorry Felicity. My mother-my family abandoned you- "
Felicity shook her head; she wasn't going to let him let her off the hook. "She needed to hate me Oliver. I needed her to hate me"
He was shocked, shaking his head, "Felicity what are you talking about?" He couldn't understand her, what was she talking about?
Felicity closed her eyes tightly, how was she going to make him understand? "Thea lost her brother, who she loved more than anything else in this world and then she lost her father. Your mother was the only family she had left. I couldn't take that away from her by telling her the truth." She was adamant that Oliver would not talk her into thinking she had made the wrong decision.
He tried again, placing his hand on her elbow, the feeling of her skin under his touch was sending sparks through his hand, "But Felicity. Thea - she deserves to know the truth," he couldn't believe she was being so selfless right now. After everything that Felicity had been through, her father leaving, her mother dying, him disappearing, she needed to know that she had support but his mother had abandoned her as well.
Felicity had a firm stance though, "No, she deserves her family Oliver, her real family. And she has that. She has your mother and she now she has her brother. Please Oliver, it's just how it is." Her hands were now in front of her wringing tightly in anxiousness.
Oliver just shook his head and pulled her into a hug. "Felicity Smoak, you are remarkable…"
She just huffed against him, "Thank you for remarking on it." After a moment she spoke again, "You're not mad?" She had worried he would be angry with her. She was terrified that he would hate her, after finally getting him back, she didn't want to lose him again.
"Felicity, I could never be angry with you. It wasn't your fault; you did everything you could for her." He pulled away from the hug but kept his arm around her shoulder, moving her towards the dining room, "Now come on."
It didn't take long until they were seated around the large table, mostly people Felicity didn't know, they seemed to be in their own worlds. The younger people around the table, those who were the children of Moira's friends, who were about the same age as Oliver seemed to be more interested in her though, eyeing her thoroughly.
Thea sat quietly as well, her eyes glancing between Felicity and Oliver, anger radiating off her every time she looked towards Felicity and Moira, she just looked angry. She didn't acknowledge Felicity at all once she had sat down. Thankfully Oliver had made a point of keeping her part of as much of the conversations as possible.
Tommy rushed through the dining room towards the table, greeting those around him when he saw them, leaning over he placed a kiss to Felicity's cheek before sitting down by her side, Oliver on the other side. He had been running late, she knew that, it was one of the reasons why she was so worried about getting there when she did, Tommy wouldn't be there to help her out. He looked over to Oliver, who was watching him closely, he sent him a small apologetic smile, something that Oliver returned with a small nod.
Dinner was served, the talking got louder, more involved but Oliver got quiet, he seemed uncomfortable with the group of people around him. Felicity looked around at him, noticing that his eyes were everywhere, taking everyone in, searching for the exits. She placed her hand on his knee, rubbing it gently, settling him down instantly. Oh, how she settled him down. This was dangerous.
"Are you sure you don't want a lift home?" Oliver stood by the front door, his hands in his pocket as Felicity pulled her jacket on. He wanted to spend more time with her, she made him feel safe and grounded and considering how dinner had gone, he needed to feel grounded.
Dinner was an effort on his part, there was so much conversation around him, loud noises and movement, there were many times that he felt his body shaking with anxiety, everything almost becoming too much for him but then he had heard Felicity's voice or her laugh or felt her hand on his knee and he seemed to be pulled back. But it still didn't help the slight shake in his hands. It was overwhelming being around that many people all at once.
His mother had invited family friends they hadn't seen in years, a long table of about 30 people all nestled together, it was more people than Oliver had been around in years, the closest he had come was being in a group of 10 that he had then had to fight.
Felicity turned to him, pulling her pony tail from under the jacket as she smiled, "No, it's ok. Tommy is going to give me a lift home." Tommy had already offered to drive her home but considering she was still living with Tommy – it was a good thing that she had the lift. Felicity really didn't want to explain to him why she wasn't living in her own apartment, not yet anyway.
Reaching out to grasp her jacket, Oliver pulled it together and buttoned it up, "If you are sure…" She nodded back to him before reaching up and giving him a tight hug. "Good night Felicity, I hope I can see you during the week…" He didn't want to sound too hopeful but at the same time, he hadn't seen her in 3 years, not really, Oliver just wanted to spend time with her.
"Of course, Oliver why don't you come by QC during the week and we can get lunch again or something?" She wanted to see him again, still not believing he was alive and back. It made her happy when he nodded, excited himself.
"Hey buddy…" Tommy's voice caught there attention and Oliver turned to see him coming up the hallway, his jacket already buttoned up, "Look I just want to apologise for lying to you…about Felicity…" Tommy glanced over at her briefly and then back at Oliver, "I just didn't want to cause too much stress on Thea and your mum, I figured you would have tried to find out where Felicity was anyway…but yea, I'm sorry."
Oliver blinked back at him, watching Tommy closely for a second before bringing his best friend into a tight hug, "Its ok buddy," He patted his back, Oliver understood why Tommy did what he did, he didn't blame him, or Felicity. His mother was a different story though. "Good night Tommy, I'll see you tomorrow?" They had made plans to go and visit the city during the day, Oliver reluctantly agreeing to visit some bars for his Welcome Home party that Tommy was throwing that coming Friday night.
Watching them go, Oliver smiled once more at Felicity as she turned to look at him once more, a small wave over her shoulder. Once the door was closed, Oliver set his face, he was going to have a very pointed conversation with his mother about her treatment of Felicity.
Any love?
