tw: vomiting, blood, threats of surgery... the usual.
i've been getting the next chapters ready to post.
Hinawa sat in the office, milling over paperwork. His throat was sore from having coughed up flower buds all during the night, and he had to take continuous breaks to go to the bathroom to cough up the multicolored flower buds of a primrose. He flushed each bloody bud right after he coughed it up, but he had gotten to the point where he would throw up as he coughed up the buds.
I can't keep food down anymore, he thought, heaving into a toilet in the bathroom. I won't last another few days if I can't keep anything down.
"Hey, Lieutenant, are you okay?" Shinra asked, poking his head into the door.
"I'm fine!" Hinawa said, a little too harshly.
"Alright, fine, I was just checking," Shinra said. "Maki was worried about you."
Hinawa stood shakily. "I'm fine," he repeated. "Just the flu."
"I'll go tell Maki." Shinra turned to leave. "Also, I know it's none of my business, but if you keep causing Maki to worry, the least you can do is tell her what is going on." He shut the bathroom door behind him.
Hinawa looked at the spot where Shinra was standing. What would he know about his feelings for Maki? He slumped against the bathroom wall and sighed. I'm just useless as I am right now, he thought. It's a hopeless situation.
"Lieutenant?" Maki's voice called out. "Are you okay?"
"Maki? What are you doing here?" Hinawa asked, standing up. "I just told Shinra to–"
"I know, but I wanted to make sure you were okay for myself," she said. She laid the back of her hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever so that rules out the flu. What is wrong, and tell me the truth."
Hinawa looked into Maki's violet eyes. He knew that she had been ill lately, as well; he had heard her coughing violently just that morning. He brushed her jawline with his finger. I can't tell her; she probably doesn't like me.
"It's just a bug," he lied. "I should be better soon."
"Lieutenant, I–"
She turned her head at the sound of the alarm. Hinawa's heart squeezed tighter, and he felt the flower blossoms tickle the back of his throat. He knew Maki had something important to say. Should I cancel the operation?
"Gear up, we have an Infernal in Ueno District!" Obi yelled in the locker room. Hinawa laid out each of his firearms as he finished prepping them; he geared up into his bunker gear and waited on everyone else.
"Lieutenant, are you sure you should be coming along and you sick?" Obi asked.
"I'll be fine." Hinawa noticed Maki eyeing him out of the corner of his eye. He tried not to make eye contact with her as he walked past her to the Matchbox.
As Obi briefed everyone on the Infernal, Vulcan drove to Ueno District. The cars that generally covered both sides of the road had been moved to make way for them to get to the site faster. Hinawa's mind was elsewhere as he meditated in the back with the rest of Company 8, and he noticed Maki was doing the same. He jolted awake when Vulcan pulled to a stop, and Obi placed a hand on his shoulder as he got out.
"Hinawa, are you sure you're okay to be fighting?" he asked.
"Yes, sir."
Obi gave him a look. "Okay. If you get to feeling sick, then be sure to leave so that you don't get injured."
Hinawa nodded. He knew this already, of course. Obi repeated it to him every day that they had to extinguish an Infernal. But he had never needed to leave a scene yet.
"We need to meet with the firefighters, Captain," Hinawa said.
Obi sighed and walked over to a nearby tent; Hinawa followed him, trying desperately to ignore the flower petals itching at his throat. He barely listened as Obi was briefed on the situation inside.
"Okay," Obi said, snapping Hinawa out of his brain fog. "Lieutenant Hinawa and I need to brief our team, and then we'll go in."
The firefighters nodded. Obi turned and left the tent, Hinawa behind him. They walked over to where the rest of Company 8 was waiting for them.
"The Infernal seems to be a former employee," Obi said. "It's behaving very aggressively, so we need to be careful. Tamaki, Arthur, Shinra, Lisa, you four will be in front. Maki and Hinawa, you two will provide rear support for them. Sister, you and I will stay in the back with Vulcan and Licht."
"Captain, you don't have to protect me," Iris said.
"It's still best if one of us is with you," Obi said. "Company 8, let's go."
Everyone walked into the building, Hinawa behind Maki. Her witch's hat was positioned at an angle on her head, and her hair was in its standard ponytail. Maki reached up and self-consciously straightened her hat.
A blast of flames hit them as they approached the Infernal, and Maki immediately set to work on diverting them. Tamaki ran forward and tried to grab the Infernal with her twin-tails, but failed.
"Tamaki, stay back here with Iris!" Obi shouted. He pulled an ax out of his bunker coat and joined Maki, Arthur, Lisa, and Shinra. Hinawa stayed back and loaded an extinguishing bullet into his firearm.
"Firing extinguishing bullet now!" Hinawa said as he pulled the trigger.
Arthur sliced at the Infernal's core but missed, instead slicing off its right arm. "Shit," he yelled.
It happened in an instant. Hinawa collapsed to the ground in a coughing fit, vomiting forget-me-nots that burned in the flames. He couldn't stand, couldn't defend himself, but knew immediately that his life was in danger.
"Lieutenant!" Maki shrieked as she ran to cover him from the flames.
"Shinra, destroy it now!" Obi yelled. "Sister, start the prayer!"
Hinawa listened to Iris recite the prayer for putting an Infernal to rest; he regretted not listening to Obi when he had the chance. As he watched Shinra destroy the Infernal, he gasped for breath. He passed out slowly as he began to wonder just why the flames never engulfed him.
"Lieutenant? Are you awake?"
Hinawa rubbed his eyes. He tried to answer the person who had asked him the question but found he couldn't. He fumbled around for his glasses.
"Here."
As everything came into focus again, he saw Maki sitting beside his bed. She was wearing civilian clothing instead of bunker gear, and he had IV tubes coming out of his arm. He swallowed and found that his throat was scorched from the flames.
"Where am I?" he barely managed to whisper.
"Company 6's headquarters," she said.
Hinawa dropped his head back against the pillow. If he was in Company 6's headquarters, that meant he was in the hospital. "How long have I been out?"
"Just a few days."
Do you know? Hinawa was hesitant to ask what was on the forefront of his mind. Do they all know?
"I'm going to go tell everyone that you're awake," Maki said. She touched his hand before leaving. "I'll be back in a bit."
Hinawa watched as she walked out the door to his room. He laid in bed and napped until his doctor came in. He watched as she flipped through his medical chart.
"Lieutenant Takehisa Hinawa of Company 8, you have a very severe case of Hanahaki Disease," she told him. "According to your medical history, you have seen a doctor recently for a diagnosis, and you declined any treatment."
Hinawa painfully cleared his throat. "Yes, that's correct," he rasped.
"Is there a reason why?" she asked.
"Because I love her."
"Right now, unless you have the operation, you are facing certain death, Lieutenant Hinawa," the doctor said.
Hinawa mulled the words over in his mind. He had considered getting the operation before, but now? Without ever knowing Maki's feelings? He couldn't. Not ever. But he had already made up his mind, and it broke his heart to do so.
"I already made up my mind," he said hoarsely. "I called the doctor the other day, and I requested the operation."
The doctor sighed and pulled a bottle from her coat pocket. "These pills should help with the flowers, at least until your operation. Take one every time you feel the need to vomit a flower."
She set the bottle on his bedside table and put his medical chart back outside his door. She left the room and shut the door behind her.
Hinawa stared at the bottle. He was hesitant to pick it up and examine it; the pills inside made a rattling noise as he shook the bottle. The label had his name on it, and the drug was one he'd never heard of before: Fleurovin. The instructions said to take one tablet as needed.
These may suppress my flowers, but not the inevitable, he thought.
He set the bottle back down on his bedside table and tried to make himself comfortable; each direction he rolled, a tube tugged, and made him feel unpleasant. He finally settled for his back and fell asleep.
"You guys, shut up!" he heard someone whisper loudly. "You're going to wake him up."
Hinawa sighed inwardly. Shinra.
"At least he's okay. That bump on his head was pretty bad. Not to mention, he inhaled a lot of smoke after he passed out." Obi's voice was further away; he was probably in the corner of the room.
"Maki protected him the best she could while also protecting us," Iris said. "You did great, Maki."
"Thanks," Maki answered. Hers was the closest voice; she was right beside him.
As they were talking, the doctor came in and introduced herself to the room at large. She tented hands as she introduced herself to Iris and Tamaki, who did the same in return.
"If you all don't mind, I'd like to speak with Lieutenant Hinawa alone, please," she requested.
"Sure. Come on, everyone, let's step outside," Obi said, directing Shinra and Arthur to the door.
"Latom," Iris said before she stepped through the doorway.
I'm going to kill every single one of them, Hinawa thought furiously.
"Um, is it okay if I listen in?" Maki asked the doctor.
"It's up to the Lieutenant," the doctor said.
Hinawa opened his eyes and saw Maki staring at him. She looked terrible, and he knew that she had to have been worried sick over him. He sighed because he knew if he didn't let her stay, she'd listen at the door.
"She can stay," Hinawa said.
"We'd like to do a few more tests. But other than that, you should be cleared to leave in the morning. These tests are to make sure your breathing hasn't been impacted by the smoke you inhaled."
Hinawa nodded. "Okay."
"I have a question," Maki asked.
"Yes?"
"What are these pills for?" she said, pulling the bottle out of her purse.
Dammit! Hinawa's mind yelled. He could barely hear over the pounding of his heartbeat. He glanced back and forth between the doctor and Maki, who was engaged in an intense staredown with each other. "They're for pain," the doctor said, relenting. "He bumped his head pretty bad, and those are the pain pills we prescribed him."
Maki glanced at the bottle before setting it back on the bedside table. "Okay."
"I need to examine him, so if you'll please excuse us," the doctor said, gesturing at Hinawa.
Maki got up and left quickly. Hinawa watched as the door shut behind her before sighing in relief. Crisis averted.
"So it's her," the doctor said quietly.
"N-No," Hinawa said, trying to cover his tracks.
"She cares so much for you, and you care for her." The doctor ran her stethoscope over his chest. "But, to be honest, you're a little selfish."
Hinawa began to feel his chest tighten. "I know. Which is why I want the operation as soon as possible, please, if it'll save my life."
"You won't be able to leave the hospital for at least two more weeks," the doctor said. "But from listening to your chest… you will need it to be able to survive that long."
Hinawa's chin quivered. He didn't want to forget his love for Maki, at all. But his body was telling him to give in.
"I need the surgery," he said.
"Let me see when I can work you in," she said. She left, and Hinawa heard the doctor explaining his situation to Company 8.
I was so selfishly stupid, he thought. I wanted to keep this to myself, but I ended up hurting everyone else.
"Lieutenant Hinawa? Can we come in?" Obi asked, knocking on his hospital room door.
"Yeah," he said.
Obi pushed open the door, and Shinra and Arthur tumbled into the room, followed by Tamaki and Iris. Maki was nowhere to be seen.
"Where's Maki?" he asked.
"She said she'd be here in a few minutes," Obi said.
Hinawa gulped, forgetting his throat was burnt. He groaned as he grabbed his throat.
Maki stood outside his hospital room door, tears running down her face. She remembered him telling her that he had to leave the office for a bit this week. She walked to the nearby restroom and sat down in a stall. She wailed into her hands.
Is it what I have? she wondered. If I tell him how I feel, will he get better?
She heard a knock on her stall. "Maki? Are you coming out anytime soon? We have to head back to headquarters soon, and you're the only one who hasn't seen the lieutenant yet," Tamaki's voice called out gently.
Maki wiped her face and stood up. She unlocked the stall and stepped out, refusing to look at Tamaki.
"Lisa and Vulcan are visiting with him now, but we all have to leave soon," she said gently.
Maki's lip trembled. "I want to, but I can't," she said.
"You have to," Tamaki said.
Maki shook her head. Her and Hinawa had always been close, but lately, she had started to view him as something more. Knowing he had to have surgery, and knowing the potential risks of any surgery, Maki couldn't stand to have the image of him in a hospital bed be her last image of him.
"I-I want to wait until he comes out of surgery," she said.
"Maki, they won't let you see him for hours."
"I don't care!"
Maki allowed herself to be led out of the bathroom but refused any offers to see Lieutenant Hinawa before they left.
"Maki, are you sure? I mean, he's been asking for you," Lisa said.
Maki nodded her head. Her heart was hurting, and she ached to throw up flower petals, but she had held them back while she was here.
"Maki, I hope you aren't going to regret this," Obi said.
"Will you guys stop laying on the guilt?" Shinra said quietly.
Maki laid her hand on Hinawa's hospital room door and pushed it open. His head snapped to see who it was, a faint ray of hope on his face.
"Maki!" he mouthed.
"Yeah, it's me," she said, waving. She stood by his bed and fought back tears. She had so many questions on her mind, and not enough time to ask them. "Why. Why are you having the surgery?"
Hinawa pat his chest; his voice was almost completely gone now, taken by both heat and talking too much. His comrades were worriedly assuring him that the operation would be fine and that Maki would speak to him.
One down. One to go.
"If it's your chest, can't they do something less drastic than an operation?" Maki asked. "Like pills?"
"Not always the best option," he tried to say.
"If anything happens, I'll never forgive you!" she sobbed, hugging him.
Hinawa blinked tears from his eyes. He rubbed Maki's back as she cried onto his shoulder.
Tamaki walked in and gently took Maki's hand. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant Hinawa, but we have to leave."
Don't leave just yet! He wanted to yell. He watched as Maki walked down the hall with the rest of Company 8, the last one in line.
"Lieutenant Hinawa, your operation is set for seven am. We need to have you in bed," a nurse told him.
He nodded. Hinawa tried to close his eyes and sleep. It was uncomfortable in the hospital; there was no fighting from Shinra and Arthur, or arguing between Shinra and Tamaki. No surprise visits from Captain Hibana from Squad 5. No Captain Obi lifting weights, and no Sister Iris making tea for the company. And no Maki, with her gentle smile.
A few hours later, the doctor came in and explained what would happen during his surgery the following morning. Hinawa was scared to death.
"We will make an incision, and we will remove any excess flowers, buds, and petals from your heart and lungs," she said. "While we are doing this, you will be placed on a machine that will do all of the heart and lung work for you." She closed his file and looked at him gently. "You know, by choosing this option, you aren't going to be able to love her again, right?"
Hinawa nodded tears in his eyes. He wanted that part to be a lie. He wanted it all to be a lie.
"We'll come and get you at five am to prep you for surgery."
