Chapter 61

"s a i. Is not. A rhino." Fujiwara gasped out between sobs. "Sai is not a rhino," he repeated desperately.

"Hey, I believe you. Of course not," Waya agreed quickly, working up the courage to give Fujiwara a quick pat on the elbow.

Hearing that seemed to help, because Fujiwara's sobs became less violent then. Eventually his tears subsided, and he fumbled in his pockets for a tissue to dab at his streaked, damp face. "I'm sorry, Sensei," Fujiwara apologized, his voice thin. "Today has just been a little overwhelming for me." He took a deep breath. " 'Sai' is not just a net handle. It's my first name."

Waya's eyes widened. "Sai" was indeed a name, although it wasn't particularly common, and people did often use all or part of their real names on NetGo. But Fujiwara was saying that... "You didn't remember your name?!" Waya blurted out before he could stop himself.

"I didn't remember my given name. But my full name is Fujiwara-no-Sai. I couldn't remember that until today. It seems... I learned a lot today. My name. His name, this Touya Kouyo-san. And that he's looking for me, and he longs to play me again as well. And there are other people too." Fujiwara gave a weak smile to Waya. "Even if they don't know who I am, they know about me, and I must matter to them in some way. That makes me feel a little less lost."

"You matter to a lot of people!" Waya said quickly, eager for some way to console Fujiwara. "Yang Hai-san's crazy about your go. And Touya-sensei! He's kept playing online ever since your game, and his go has been changing too. You'd better look at his kifu before you play him again. He's gotten really strong, not that he wasn't already super strong before."

Waya raked his hand through his hair, jittery with excitement at the thought of a re-match between s a i and touya kouyo. "Oh yeah, other pros – a bunch of older ones - have followed Touya-sensei's lead and started playing online too, so players everywhere are getting stronger. Even my sensei logs on sometimes now. He was really jealous when he saw that game between you and Touya-sensei!" Waya was unable to resist the urge to grin at the recollection, despite the seriousness of the situation. "Although Ogata-sensei was pretty pissed too, he'd been wanting to play you for a long time, and you played his sensei instead. It's actually kinda funny."

Fujiwara's posture stiffened abruptly then. "Ogata-sensei knows s a i?" he said quietly.

Waya wondered at Fujiwara's sudden tenseness; why did he care about Ogata? Maybe Fujiwara had heard someone else in the salon mention him or something. Still, it was definitely a question that Waya could answer for Fujiwara. "Yeah, he's almost as obsessed as Yang Hai-san. He's Touya-sensei's top student – he's won titles - so I guess it makes sense that he would want a chance to play the guy who beat his teacher. It's a way to prove his skill as a player."

"Ah, I suppose that makes sense," Fujiwara said, his gaze turning inwards.

"Hey, are you okay?" Fujiwara looked pale, and his eyes were still red-rimmed. "I guess this is kind of crazy for you, learning all this." Waya hoped Fujiwara would be able to handle dealing with everything; Isumi had been right about him being sensitive.

Fujiwara nodded slowly, looking emotionally drained. "I just have a lot to think about now. I'm a little tired, too. But thank you for telling me the truth. I'm going to have to decide what to do from now," he said, pushing his chair back.

Waya stood up as well. "Look, I'm really sorry about not telling you sooner. It was wrong of me not to, I should have believed you."

"It's alright. I suppose my situation is a little difficult to accept, especially when we don't know each other that well," said Fujiwara with a weak smile.

Waya felt a sharp pang of guilt. "Still. Look, if there's anything I can do to help, or if you have more questions, just call me or send me a message. Okay?" Waya said, his voice sincere.

"I'll remember that. Thank you for your kind offer." Fujiwara bowed. "Take care."

Waya watched as Fujiwara left the salon. He felt pretty crappy himself. Isumi was going to kill him when he confessed, but there was no point in trying to hide the deed. However, Waya supposed in the long run it had actually been the right thing to do, although his motivations had been less than pure. But he had helped Fujiwara regain some of his memories. Poor guy, Waya thought. He couldn't imagine not even remembering his own first name.

He rubbed at the back of his tense neck, wondering if there was anything he'd forgotten to tell Fujiwara about himself. Waya couldn't shake the niggling feeling that he had forgotten something important, but perhaps it was just paranoia. Being responsible in some way for s a i... that was scary.

With a sigh, Waya decided he might as well text Isumi. Isumi would know what to do.

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Credits to: Ontogenesis (Desynchronization