tw: blood, vomit, mentions of surgery...


Maki sat and dangled her legs off of the exam table. She had made an emergency appointment with the doctor again after coughing up the flowers while waiting on Lieutenant Hinawa to come out of surgery.

"So, it seems you've begun to cough up more types of flowers," the doctor said, walking in. He opened Maki's patient file to her Hanahaki Disease diagnosis and pulled out his pen. "Usually we don't see patients who cough up a different type of flower. They've usually been cured — either by surgery or having their loved one confess their feelings — or they have died."

He examined Maki's mouth and throat. The cuts in her mouth and throat, which weren't there the day before, had made their presence known while she was eating breakfast, and she had to ignore the pain so no one could see what was wrong.

"So, your options are the same as before," the doctor said, sitting to face her. "You can wait for the man you love to return your feelings, or you can have surgery and be rid of the disease and not have to worry about dying."

Maki's eyes filled with tears. "I can't have the operation," she said. "I just can't."

"Right now, that seems like your only choice," he told her.

"Is there any other way to slow the disease down?"

The doctor sighed. "There's an experimental drug out, but there is no proof it works on Hanahaki Disease that is this advanced."

"I'll try anything," she begged.

She waited as he wrote a prescription out for her. She tucked it into her purse and heaved a sigh.

"Your Hanahaki Disease has progressed rapidly since I last saw you," the doctor said suddenly. "Can you explain this?"

"I've been under a lot of stress and stuff lately," Maki said. It wasn't a total lie; she had spent a majority of the time between the day of her diagnosis and now worrying about the Lieutenant. "I guess I let my health take a backseat to… other things."

"Your Hanahaki Disease is almost in the final stages," the doctor told her.

"What are you saying?" she asked him.

"I'm saying that even if you take the pills, your disease might not be able to be slowed down anymore."

Maki stared at the doctor in shock. She didn't expect this from him. The doctor told her that the pills had a chance of working, only to turn around and tell her that they wouldn't? Maki knew someone should have come with her. But how exactly can you say, "I'm dying, I need someone to comfort me?"

"Your only option of survival now is surgery," the doctor said firmly.

"No."

"I'm sorry, but it's the only viable option."

"Just let me try the pills, please!" she begged.

"Fine," the doctor relented. "I'd like to see you in three days for a checkup, though."

Maki smiled with relief. It was a small victory for her. She didn't have to give up on loving Hinawa yet. "Yes, sir. I'll be here."


Maki shook the bottle of pills that the doctor had prescribed her. She had seen the name Fleurovin before somewhere, but couldn't remember where. She poured a pill into her hand and swallowed it with a glass of water.

So I take this each time I feel flower petals at the back of my throat, she thought. But I don't feel anything happening yet.

She set the bottle back down on her bedside table and climbed into bed. Since she was diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease, sleep never came easy for her anymore. She rolled over on her back and sighed.

"Maybe these pills can help me sleep," she said to herself, closing her eyes.

Not long later, she woke up hacking and coughing. She felt bloody petals spill forward from her lips; she left them on the floor as she ran to the bathroom to vomit.

The unwelcome sight of the cherry blossoms in the toilet was burned into her retinas as she began to cry. Hot tears ran down her face as she slumped against the wall, exhausted.

"Maki?"

She turned to see Lieutenant Hinawa standing in the doorway of the bathroom. He had only been back from the hospital for a few days; he was still on work leave because of his surgery. She stared at him for a moment before realizing that he was in the women's bathroom.

"Lieutenant, you know that this is the women's bathroom!" she told him, pushing him out. "Men can't be in here!"

"Oh. Sorry. But I know you came into the men's bathroom the other day," Hinawa pointed out.

"It's not the same," she said.

Hinawa paused as he felt Maki clutching the back of his shirt. He turned around and put his arms around her. Maki leaned into him, grasping the front of his shirt. He held her close as she cried silently into his chest.

She must be going through a lot, Hinawa thought.

Hinawa suddenly realized that he was holding Maki closer than he ought to and broke their embrace. Maki wiped her face and turned away.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I've just been overwhelmed recently," she sniffled.

"It's okay," he told her.

"But it's not."

Hinawa rubbed his eyes. It had to have been about three in the morning. He didn't want to deal with this at the moment, yet at the same time, he did.

"Maki, it's late," he told her. "I promise I'll listen to what you have to say later on after we have both slept a little more."

"R-Really?"

"Really."

Maki felt a wave of relief wash over her; the Lieutenant would be able to advise her on what to do, even if he didn't know that the guy she was anguishing over was him.

"I'd appreciate that, Lieutenant," she said.

Hinawa turned and walked back toward his bedroom, leaving Maki in the women's bathroom alone. She sank to the floor and sighed.

I want this to end, she thought. I should tell him.

Maki closed her eyes and imagined confessing to Hinawa, him meeting her family, her wearing a long white wedding dress and walking to meet him at the end of a long aisle…

"Stop it, Maki," she told herself. "You can't be thinking of him like that."

But what if he is the man of my dreams? Maki thought. That means the person I've been waiting for all along has been right here with me already!

Maki walked toward her bedroom and shut the door behind her. The darkness enveloped her, making her fears boil over until she was smothering. She sank against her door and began hyperventilating.

Open the door, she told herself. She reached up and opened the door a crack; a wave of fresh air hit her, and she calmed down. This has got to stop. I'm telling the Lieutenant tomorrow, and that's that.


When Maki woke up, she didn't feel the need to throw up flowers for once since having been diagnosed. Instead, she felt better than she had before. She stretched.

I feel a lot better today, she thought. She stood up and grabbed a change of clothes before heading to the showers. Maybe I don't have to tell the Lieutenant after all.

Maki walked into the locker room, where Hinawa was standing in front of his open locker. He looked over at Maki as she opened her locker.

"Morning," he said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Y-Yeah," she said.

"If you have anything you want to talk about, feel free to come to talk to me," he told her, shutting his locker door.

"I will," she said.

She waited until he left before sinking onto a seat. She had completely forgotten about getting sick the night before; now, she remembered everything, from throwing up the cherry blossom petals to Hinawa's offer to talk.

She grabbed a change of clothes and a towel and walked to the showers; she felt a sense of heaviness in her chest like she knew she was going to be coughing up flowers soon. Maki coughed and saw nothing but blood in her hand.

If it can just wait until I talk to the Lieutenant, Maki thought as she rinsed her hands off in the shower. She coughed again and stared at the blooming yellow tulip in her hands.

Pink camellias, cherry blossoms, and now yellow tulips? she wondered. Her breath rasped in her chest. Maki retched and threw up blood and various flowers in the shower.

"Maki?" Tamaki said from the doorway. She came over to where Maki had collapsed on her knees in the shower and gasped. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

Maki burst into tears. She wanted to say she was okay. But in truth, she wasn't. She wasn't okay, and she didn't think she ever would be again.