(AN: it's a little recap right here)Tris POV


Quite familiar. I could not see them both clearly from my hiding spot. As they passed me I thought I could breathe a sigh of relief but my entire heart stopped beating as I saw the 5 letters on the jersey back.

NO. 4, EATON.

I WANTED TO THROW UP. RIGHT THERE. RIGHT THEN.

And my heart was heavy. I don't even know why.

One lone tear escaped my eye, sliding across my cheeks and escaping into my top.

It is not like we actually have something between us right? He is again being the d*ck that he is. So why the fucking hell does this affect me so much. That asshole literally skipped his practice to fuck a girl in the school janitor closet!!!????

I decide for myself at the moment, right away, right now. I'm never going to bother myself, cry over a relationship ... That too practically a non existent one.

As they exit the hallway back to the field... to flaunt each other off. One new conquest.

Great way to blow off steam, fucking Eaton. I slip out of my spot, grab my books and head home in my car.

I hear my phone notify a text message

Chris: Where the hell are you Tris, we are already at the mall!!!??

Me: Chris, I'm sorry Babe, I'm not in the mood right now. I'm really tired.

Chris: Are you okay honey? Do you need something?

I really needed to talk to somebody right now because against all my will and brain... I oddly wanted Him to be here...

... with me.

My heart just wouldn't listen to my brain.

God what's wrong with me?! Am I really crushing on that asshole right now? ... Or is it just an illusion like everything else with him. Just another ugly side of my life.

I knew he wasn't worth it but I just... Couldn't convince myself.

Chris: I AM COMING OVER RIGHT NOW.

Me: Hey, I'm fine. Just sleepy. Good night enjoy your shopping. ttyl.

Love you.

Chris: Love ya . Take care honey. Bye.

I sigh sitting on my bed, take out my diary. The one that I've not opened since the past 4 years and flip through the pages.

Dried water spots tinted the pages yellowish.

My tears.

I thought I had another chance at life... with the real me... After that day in the hall... after the way he looked into my eyes. Like he could see past the bad girl facade I had on.

I felt him shiver that day as he touched my lips. Four and I have never been on good terms but he has always been the only one pushing me hard.. Testing me, trying to break me.

I never really hated him. For a second there I never really believed that he was what he posed to be.

Just like me.

I pick up my phone and hear the phone ring to my mother...

"Hello..."

"Hey mom, can you please come home earl--", I blurt out of need.

"If you're trying to reach Natalie Prior please leave a message after the beep. I'll call in later. Thank you! "

I end the call. Voicemail... as usual.

My finger hovered around my dad's face.

I call my dad... A small tiny part of my heart telling me to trust him... trust him to pick up his phone.

" Hello..." I knew what was coming so i counted in my head.

1... Breathe in

2... Breathe out

3... Breathe in

4... Breathe out

5... Breathe in

"Hello this is Andrew Prior you're trying to reach. I'm in a meeting right now. Leave a message. Thank you!"

As expected.

I saw a teardrop fall onto my phone screen. Was it mine?

Probably.

I threw my phone on the bed and flipped the pages of my diary... A picture fell out. My favourite one. I was just 2, with my mom, beautiful as ever my wonderwoman and my handsome dad, who was my hero.

... And Caleb looking smart in his hawai shirt... My best friend.

It was one time when we went on a vacation...together, as a family, with no worry of work in my parents head with no worry of school and... Stuff In my head.

They joined the government after that and that was the day when I lost my mom and dad.

I had no hero, no wonderwoman, no friend beside me... It was just me.

How ironic was it. Every night... Well some nights, they sleep in the master bedroom right across my room. But yet I feel so lonely... so far away from them. Miles apart.

I had my awesome friends at school but it's a universal truth that no one can replace parents.

We moved here as soon as I was born and I've lived here all my life. So Chicago is close to my heart.

I tried to become popular because I thought that popular kids were friends with everyone but I guess I was wrong... so wrong. I had my gang... The only ones loyal to me and me being loyal to them. Everyone else just wants to get to your money, your popularity tag and into your panties.

I thought Four was being genuine... real for once.

But people are not what they show or look like.

If one day was enough for him to breakthrough my walls. Being with him was sure like playing with fire.

I couldn't be with him because he is not any different than everybody else. He is just like the rest of them. He will pull me out of my shell ... See me naked... Vulnerable and will leave me in the end. To fend for myself.

That moment I realised, all the stupid reactions my body was making were not indications. Just... Lust.

I thought I was capable enough to wait for the one... someone who was ready to spend his rest of my life with me. But Four obviously had to get in my way. He was sexy. I couldn't blame my body.

Maybe a small part of me wished that getting this thing out of my system... maybe spending one night with him would make me forget all the roller-coaster feelings my brain was taking me through.. it was no harm right?

I just had to loose my v card now. Maybe it was destined to be him and not some mysterious 'the one' guy I had been waiting for.

So I'm ready now. Ready to face the world the way it wants me to behave. I'll be the bad girl I have always been... But notch up the intensity just a bit more. That's the new me now.

I'm not going to take shit... From anyone. Not from him... Not from anyone.

I go to my closet and rip off the sluttiest outfit I have hanging in there.

This... will be the new me.

I'll give what he wants an dill get what I want. Just to get him out of my fucking mind.


(AN: heyyy there!!! I am so happy you guys commented... Love ya! If someone had any ideas please comment!! Any Fourtris moments you want. I have the course of the story n my mind but i think i can modify it to add your fav scenes!!!)