Confessions

AN - I apologize for the length of this chapter, but there was really no way to cut it and not ruin the flow. Also, sorry for how long it took to update.

Her bedroom was a welcome sight after being stuck in the hospital for over a week. Her grandmother and aunt tried to convince her to sleep downstairs so they could keep an eye on her, but Jade wanted her bed. She sat on it with her back against the wall, trying to have a silent moment where she could evaluate everything. She was in control of herself and her environment for the moment and she wanted to enjoy it while she could.

Jade blinked after what felt like hours of staring. She was unsure if she had zoned out or fallen asleep with her eyes open. Did it even matter at that point? Being awake was beginning to feel more miserable than being asleep. She fished around in her deep pockets for her phone and pulled it out. Waiting for her were various texts from Koga, Ginta, Hakkaku, Sango, and Kagome telling her not to worry, to just get some rest.

'That's the fucking problem, guys. I'm resting too much.' Jade knew they meant well, but she wished they would have thought a little harder about their responses. She would have accepted,"Get wrecked," with a smile on her face at that point.

Jade finally convinced herself to turn on her computer and find something to do. A game, reading a story, researching more on her new disorder - anything that would pass the time and keep her awake. She switched over to YouTube, bringing up the channel of her favorite movie reviewer. Jade pressed autoplay on the playlist and leaned back in her chair, pulling her arms inside her sweater to warm them. The first movie on the list the reviewer was watching was about a group of friends...and that was it. It was a terribly boring movie, apparently. The next few movies on the list were a bit more exciting to talk about, and listening to the reviewer's deep, dry, sarcastic tone was soothing and amusing.

Jade blinked when she heard a loud knock on her door. Her eyes stung so badly that tears began to leak from them. She saw daylight through her eyelids - was it morning already? Had she focused on the videos that much? Where the fuck was her life going?

"Yeah?" she called out while gently rubbing her eyes.

"Lily and I going to Coffee Springs; want to go or want us to bring you anything?" Lucy asked.

"I'll go. Give me five minutes."

Pulling on clean clothes and grabbing her gray coat, Jade walked out into the lounge, turning the corner and descending the stairs. She spotted Lucy and Lily waiting for her in the kitchen, bundled up in their coats. When they saw her, they immediately followed her outside.

"Be careful!" Rosa called out loudly from her bedroom.

"Sure!" Lucy shouted back before closing the door and shaking off a shiver.

"We're just walking five minutes down the road." Lily pointed out skeptically, hiding her mouth beneath her pink scarf.

"Doesn't matter; it's Mom." Lucy replied with annoyance.

They walked down the road to their small village of Arroyo Seco. Lucy and Lily were engaged in conversation with each other, laughing, pointing things out, discussing plans made with friends, and Jade just listened, envying them deeply. They were able to make every move knowing that they were awake and their actions were real. They didn't have to plan around whether or not they were going to be conscious.

The coffee shop was so warm that Jade considered getting a cold drink. She had removed her coat and scarf, but she felt like being naked still wouldn't have been enough to stave off the heat. Her cousins ordered different variations of coffee and Jade asked for hot oolong tea.

"Drinks are on me." Lucy announced, raising her hand.

"Thanks, bitch." Lily chirped sweetly. Jade forced a smile when her younger cousin smiled at her. She hadn't seen her in nearly a year. Lily had started growing dreadlocks with her black hair, which Jade found to be an interesting change. Lily always preferred her hair to be straight or pulled back into a ponytail.

'Her new witchy stuff must've inspired her new hairdo.' she concluded.

"So, will caffeine help with the whole sleepy thing, Jade?" Lucy asked, snapping Jade from her trance.

Her head shook slowly. "Not really."

"Uh, what about other, uh, substances that may or may not be amphetamines?" her cousin continued. "Because I know people."

"Doctors generally don't want to encourage cocaine use in their patients." Jade replied with a grin. Then, she giggled nervously. "It wouldn't have much of an effect; I asked."

"Yeah, Jade, I'm just getting this tense feeling from you," Lily said, stroking her own hair with a hand.

Lucy groaned and rolled her eyes. "Oh god, here we go."

"Shut up." Lily bit back. "Anyway, now and back at the hospital, I keep...you have a lot of negative energy around your head."

"No shit? You're the worst psychic ever! She has a neurological disorder! That means something's wrong with her brain, you know, her head?" Lucy poked her head with her finger heatedly, the rings on her fingers clinking together with her movement.

"Thanks, Luce." Jade interjected sarcastically.

Lily swiftly flipped her sister the middle finger. "I'm not a psychic, you dumb bitch."

"Magician, whatever."

'Well, they haven't changed too much.' Jade thought wryly, watching her cousins argue with each other. Fingers were waved and wagged in each other's faces, heads bobbed, eyes rolled, and tones were sarcastic. It was their normal harmless bickering, and any other time, Jade would have found it to be mildly funny, but now she just found it to be tiring.

"Anyway, as I was saying," Lily raised her voice slightly, shoving her index finger in Lucy's face to silence her. "I can help release that tense energy."

"If it's bad energy, wouldn't you just be opening the floodgates to the rest of her body?"

"That's a fair question." Jade agreed, pointing to Lucy.

"The idea is that it's blocked and releasing it will allow good energy to flow in again, overtaking the negative." Lily explained, pressing her hand to her chest. "I know you guys are mocking me."

"I'm not mocking you." Jade insisted quickly. A week ago, possibly, but none of Jade's ideas were working, so she couldn't call Lily's idea dumb without feeling hypocritical at that point.

"I am." Lucy stated boldly. The three young women smiled and leaned back as their drinks were served to them, but as soon as the server walked away, their expressions turned serious.

"So, how would you do it?" Jade asked Lily after taking a small sip to test the temperature of her tea.

"Well, I have a few different methods. I would need to ask you more questions to narrow it down to which ones would be most helpful."

"Okay."

"Wait, are you serious? You'll let me try?"

Jade shrugged and sighed. "I mean, no one's given me real solutions, so why not try this?"

"I'll need time to prepare, but we can give a shot tonight." Lily insisted.

"Can I watch?" Lucy inquired mildly.

"No, you negative cunt." Lily shot back.

"She's negative?" It was the first genuine laugh Jade had in what felt like ages.

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Jade was unsure how many times she typed and deleted her message to Naraku before she finally settled with a version and sent it. She teetered back and forth from casually inviting him to her family's home to wanting to spill out all her concerns in hopes that the prodigious Naraku had a solution. Additionally, she knew he was still upset over his samples and the thought of him being alone bothered her deeply, even though she knew he preferred being alone most of the time.

"Maybe he's in a good mood." Jade murmured, almost slapping herself. Did he even know what a good mood was? She leaned forward in her chair to turn on one of the four monitors she owned for her video gaming career. This one was for her PS4. According to Lucy and Koga, the beta for the new Monster Hunter game was amazing, so she decided to download it and join her cousin and fellow pack-members in the carnage.

'Whenever the fucker decides to finish downloading and installing.' she thought bitterly. Despite her efforts to mitigate the Internet issues that usually came with having guests in the guest house and she and her cousins being home for break, it still didn't run as smoothly as she would have liked. The ethernet cable definitely helped, though. The beta game file was probably pretty large, too. That's when Jade just admitted she was being irrationally impatient and wanted to play a goddamn video game with no strings attached. She didn't care to stream or make money; she just wanted to have fun again.

Lily sent her a text saying she was ready, so Jade turned the monitor off and walked out of her room, down the hall, past the empty room, and into Lily's room. Various fragrances hit Jade's nose - tea, wax, and the sharp smell of lemon were three she noticed first. The main bedroom lights were off, but Lily had at least a couple dozen candles of various sizes and colors lit to help illuminate the room. She could make out the shapes of different decorations hanging on the walls and sitting on her desk. They ranged from moons and stars to animals like wolves and rabbits. Sitting cross-legged in the middle of the room was Lily, dressed in a huge, but thin, white robe. The large robe made her look even smaller than she already was.

"Is the wiring fucked up in here?" Jade joked, pointing at the main ceiling light.

"It's to help you concentrate. Close the door, please." Lily replied seriously, straightening out the oversized sleeves. The various charms of her bracelets and necklaces jingled lightly with her movements.

Jade sat down in front of her cousin and crossed her arms to warm her hands under them. "Alright, so what are we doing?"

"I already cleansed the candles and herbs. I need you to drink this tea first, though." She handed her cousin the cup of tea she had sitting next to her.

"Spiked with?" Jade asked, wishing she could stop making jokes, but she couldn't help it. She was nervous.

Lily snorted, seemingly understanding the source of Jade's ill-timed humor. "It's chamomile - straight chamomile with some honey. Sweetners can pollute it."

Jade drank half of it steadily, shrugging with an unimpressed expression. "I've drank worse."

"Okay, so chamomile is supposed to help make energy more receptive to influences, good or bad. To make sure it's a good influence, I drank some lemon tea and soaked my hands in lemon juice, which is supposed to help cleanse and remove energy blockages."

"Cool." Jade tilted her head back and finished her tea. "What's next?"

Her cousin took the empty cup from her and asked her to turn around and lie on the floor. She cradled Jade's head in her lemon-scented hands. Now she stared up at Lily's face, waiting silently for her next set of instructions.

"Holy shit, your neck is like a rock." Lily complained, digging her fingers into Jade's skin and accidentally making her wince. "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah, actually." Jade whined, cringing away from her hands.

"Oops! Sorry!"

"It's alright." she sighed, placing her head back into her cousin's hands.

"Alright, close your eyes." Lily urged softly. "Think about Earth, all the people on it, all the branches that connect them to you...and sever yourself from them. Detach completely."

"Oh, I'm good at detaching from things."

"Things can be good or bad depending on how you use them and how often. Detaching or dissociating, whatever you want to call it, isn't always a bad thing. We all need time away eventually. Now, I want you to focus on the energy circulating in your body. Think of it like your bloodstream; pumping from your heart to your chest, abdomen, arms, legs, and head."

"Okay." Jade readjusted herself on the floor and inhaled through her nose deeply, holding the breath in her lungs for a few seconds. She imagined the path her supposed energy was traveling. The muscles in her shoulders and neck stuck out in her mind because they twinged with stiffness despite the rest of her body being relaxed. In fact, she hadn't noticed how much they hurt until then.

Lily's fingers lightly tapped the tense muscles at the base of her skull. "This is the path it takes to reach your head and it's being blocked by something. That's why it's so tense."

Jade frowned, keeping her eyes closed. "What's blocking it?"

"Mm, it can be a lot of things; physical injury, chemical imbalance, mental illness, emotional trauma, but I don't know exactly what yours is."

Jade snorted. "All the above."

"The idea is clearing the blockage and allowing the energy to flow back into your head. So, next I need you to go through your head and think about all the things that could've caused this; physical, mental, emotional, chemical - all of it."

"I...think I know when it started." she admitted hesitantly. That day in the lab...she hated thinking about it.

Lily's fingers pressed into her skin a little harder. "That's it. Your neck just tensed up again."

Holding back a long, dramatic curse, Jade began thinking about what she could remember. She had done everything in her power to keep from thinking about that day in the lab. Not long after it happened, she took it a step further and tried to not think about the entire weekend. She rationalized avoiding the topic completely; she couldn't remember anything immediately, so why think about it? She did what she did, hated and regretted it deeply, so why think about it?

'I do remember something from the incident, though.' It was the moment Naraku saved her from jumping off the roof. It was the moment she held onto when dealing with him from that point on. He saved her. That was the first time he seemed to see her as a person and not as a tool. It meant a lot to her even if others scoffed.

Then, she remembered decanting the samples over and over, pressing the pipette button over and over, asking Naraku questions about her homework, learning about the greenhouse marijuana, and, her favorite part, discovering her first water bears. How could she forget how much her eyes burned due to lack of sleep? Jade was miserable, despite having fun learning and getting to know Naraku a little. It was the perfect example of bittersweet.

That Monday, she sat next to Sango in art class as she usually did. First, the burning sensation began in her stomach and then it spread in a path similar to that of her bloodstream - her energy. Sango asked her several times if she wanted to go to the hospital and Jade didn't remember saying no; all she was thinking was she actually was dying and that she pushed herself too hard and her body was shutting down. It was her fault for not taking longer breaks in between.

'The lab reeked of acid.' It was the first thing she noticed when she walked into the lab to grab her stuff and leave. She almost lost consciousness then, but when she sensed something was wrong, when she saw the look on Naraku's face, it gave her one last burst of energy. She needed to know what happened to the bottles! They were empty! Why were they empty? An entire weekend - sleepless and busy - was gone! It was her first extraction and it was ruined! She was going to have to do it all again!

Red - that was the last thing she recalled before regaining consciousness on the roof. She saw red; blood? Drops of blood fell onto her lap, soaking into her jeans. The trickles leaked from her nose and mouth. The ringing in her ears subsided and she heard the bickering of two men and a third man yelling at them. Why were they so loud? She stood and turned, determined to scream shut-up, but the thought was snuffed out completely with something else.

'Kill them!' It was her voice she heard, but it had a coldness to it that she never spoke with in her life. Sesshomaru was now standing in front of her. 'Him first! He's going to run! Get him! Hit him! Kill him! It's his fault!'

She lunged forward and took him down with her; incomprehensible strength and stamina filled her completely. Her fists struck him, she screamed, Naraku pulled her off, she screamed - her body was a live fire, the pain was indescribable, yet all she could think about was hitting them, choking them, doing whatever she could to make them stop moving. It almost felt like their pain made hers subside.

'I hurt them! I hurt them! I hurt them!' Jade was running up the staircase now. She was out of control, she was going to kill them, but she could stop herself! She had one chance...and Naraku ruined it! His hand grabbed her wrist and yanked her from the ledge. The last thing she truly remembered was staring into his eyes as he clamped the rag around her mouth harder.

Now she was back in the lab, unraveling plastic sample bags and squeezing the sediment out onto the floor. It was just like her dream from the hospital, except it was now from her physical point of view, not a disembodied one. She didn't want to touch his samples, but her body was out of her control again.

'He won't find out.' his cold voice whispered. It sounded like Naraku, but something about it was different and unsettling.

Within a second, she was standing in a dark room, staring down at glass tubes that contained glowing liquids - one pink, one purple, and one that shimmered both of those colors. As she left the room and turned the corner, she saw a familiar cage out of the corner of her eye; Naraku's guinea pig.

'I want to be whole.' he told her softly, almost as if reassuring her. 'Make me whole, then I'll let you live, and I won't make you hurt him.'

Another dark room; it looked like a storage room or sorts. She poured a small amount of the purple liquid onto something, but it was so dark, she couldn't see. How she made it that far was beyond her understanding.

Naraku's keys jingled as she unlocked his heavy office door and pushed it open. The beating of a heart filled broke the silence. The glass tubes were empty now and the liquids now swished around inside the plastic container the beating sounds came from. She placed the beating heart back into the cabinet and sniffed, feeling something trickle from her nose.

"Jade?" Lily's voice blew away all Jade's thoughts and memories like a gust of wind with smoke. "Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah." She panted, staring up at her cousin. It was then she noticed her face felt wet. She reached up and wiped away tears, frowning at her hand.

"You got really relaxed, so I started chanting my spell, and you started twitching a little, crying, and whimpering, like you were in pain."

"I didn't even hear you talking until just then." Jade admitted, slowly sitting up and immediately rubbing the back of her neck. It didn't feel quite as sore, though it still twinged.

"Did something happen? Did you fall asleep and dream something?"

"No." she sighed heavily, looking down at her lap. "I remember everything now."

"That's good...wait, I think? Is it?" Lily cringed and waved her hands. "I'm sorry. They're not pleasant, probably."

"It's my fault; I just crammed my schoolwork on top of all of these things instead of just dealing with them. I was kind of glad I couldn't immediately remember any of it, so I never even tried."

"Yeah, when Mom told us everything, we thought it was weird that you didn't talk about any of it with us. Grandma told us not to hound you about it, though." Lily absentmindedly stroked and twisted a few strands of her coarse hair.

Jade shrugged. "Sorry. I just...hated it that much."

"It's okay. I'm not judging." Lily smiled gently. "I hope this helped."

"Yeah." Jade nodded. She saw the glowing liquids and heard the heartbeats in her mind and frowned. It was a memory, not a dream.

'Do I even want to know?' She choked back a groan. 'Naraku, what are you doing?'

Lily leaned forward slightly. "Uh-oh, something bad?"

"I don't know. I joke about Naraku doing voodoo shit and summoning demons, but I'm wondering if he's close to it."

"What do you mean?"

"Here's an example; the weekend I won the KI tournament, he was attaching heart tissue to fucking spinach leaves."

'The beating heart sounds...I'm not crazy.'

Lily's mouth dropped open in horror. "That's a thing? You can do that?"

"He can! He did that! Before I got sick here, he texted me and asked me if I would take care of his guinea pig if something happened to him because he was messing around with hydrofluoric acid, blood, and tissue."

'Tissue from a heart?' Jade was now massaging her temples.

"Hydrofl- is he Walter White? What the fuck?" Lily fidgeted in place uncomfortably.

"I don't know! He does shit!"

"I mean, I don't want to judge because I haven't met him, buuuuut-"

"You might get the chance."

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The gray cat stiffly walked away after biting the back of Sesshomaru's head, right at the base of his skull. The creature came right when the orb called to it...or possibly when Naraku admitted he needed help handling the situation.

'Will it continue crystallizing?' Naraku wondered. Would the crystals replace and rebuild the animal's entire structure?

Naraku knelt down next to Sesshomaru. The bite wound was healing shut with crystals and it was then that Naraku knew Sesshomaru was infected just like him. The burst of rage he felt earlier when the orb pulsed was indescribable; Sesshomaru just happened to be nearby. Once he knocked him out, though, the orb pulsed again and Naraku was pulled back to his senses. Yes, he wanted to hit Sesshomaru - he usually did - but not right then. It wasn't a good time for it whatsoever.

'It knew that.' Naraku thought. 'It just wants another vessel.' The orb was not only sentient, but it was crafty. When Naraku poured acid on it, it could have killed him and kept Jade, but it had a difficult time controlling Jade. The only time it could influence her was when she was asleep or exhausted. So, it traded her for him. Apparently, he was easier to handle.

After power returned to campus and Naraku's phone, he called an ambulance to tell them Sesshomaru had slipped and fell. He waited outside next to Sesshomaru's body, watching him carefully to make sure he wouldn't recover and attack. Once the paramedics arrived, Naraku explained that he found him and just assumed he slipped again and then separated himself from the scene. He sent a quick message to Bruce and drove home. A small part of him regretted engaging Sesshomaru at all.

Once he arrived home, he checked his phone, expecting Bruce's ire, but instead he received a text from Jade's number. When he opened the message and saw how long it was, he cringed slightly, hoping it was good news. 'Hey, it's Jade. Been out of the hospital for a couple days. I'm fine, I guess? It looks like Lucy already brought you up to speed. Thanks for checking in on me. It made me feel better. I hope you're doing better. I guess it's a good thing I came home early, but I've been thinking about you being alone since the sample incident. I know you're not the type, but I wanted to let you know that we have plenty of space and food up here if you need to get away from the city for a while. I would also like having company. Text me for the address if you decide you want to visit at all during break. Heads up; we run a bed and breakfast ordeal, so we'll have other guests right up until Christmas Eve. I'll put you in the spare bedroom in our house, though, not the guest house. It's quieter. Just a thought. Talk to you later, dude.'

"She's okay." Naraku whispered under his breath, allowing himself a brief smile. A cold chill made him regret it immediately.

"She's lucky." his voice replied. "I almost had her."

"Almost." Naraku repeated evenly, slipping his hand into his pocket. The orb was unnaturally warm. It was beginning to recover quicker after using large amounts of energy.

"You sound disappointed. I cannot use her anymore." the disembodied voice continued.

"You sure are talkative today."

"I haven't been able to until today."

Naraku rolled his eyes before he began to pack. It sounded like it was standing next to him. Part of Naraku wanted to refrain from talking to it, but the other part wanted to ask it so many questions. What was it, where did it come from, what did it need to survive - another thought came to him; what if it had no idea about any of those things? Despite showing a clear pattern of growth, many of its actions were random, as if it didn't know what to do or what it could do.

"Are you going to see her?" his voice asked with mild disgust.

Naraku frowned, walking into his office to grab his binder of notes. Just in case Jade didn't believe him, or wanted details, he figured she could read them. "Yes."

"I would prefer we didn't. Just because I can't harm her directly, that doesn't mean-" It paused briefly and Naraku's right hand instantly rose to eye level. "-I can't harm her indirectly."

He tried not to lose his composure and cleared his throat. "If you don't interfere, I will convince her to stay away from us."

His hand closed into a fist and nothing he did could move it. "How? Her loyalty is unbreakable."

"I'm going to tell her what I did." Naraku swallowed hard. "She will never speak to me again."

When he regained control of his hand, he assumed the orb decided to go along with his plan.

'Or it will attempt to make me hurt her?' Naraku's jaw clenched as he stared at his hand, gently curling and uncurling his fingers.

"I'll allow you to hand-le it." it chuckled.

Naraku nearly dove head first out his window. 'It has discovered puns; great.'

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The drive to Arroyo Seco was over twelve hours, but with the help of the orb, Naraku was able to cruise through it with no issues. As long as he stayed focused, his stamina never wavered. His main focus the entire drive; thinking of the best way to tell Jade that he was the cause of all her problems. Sugar-coating it wasn't his aim, but he didn't want to set her off before he was able to tell her everything.

'What would Kikyou say? What would she do?' Naraku entertained the idea of driving off the road and into the rocky valley. 'She wouldn't have done what I did, so she wouldn't say anything.'

The sun was beginning to set by the time Naraku reached Arroyo Seco. One main road cut through the village and several smaller dirt roads branched off, leading to various restaurants, merchandise shops, lodgings, and homes. Nearly every building had Christmas lights hanging from them. He stayed on the main road until he approached a small bridge to his left, turning onto it and slowing down to take in the view of Jade's childhood home.

The front yard was nearly an acre of flat land with only the gravel driveway cutting through it. To his left; a brown two-story house with a wrap-around deck on both floors. To his right; a white single level house that was long enough to hold the eight guest bedrooms Jade told him about when he asked for more details. He parked next to Jade's green Grand AM and sat in his car to think for a moment. When he couldn't find any reservations within himself, he stepped out and grabbed his bag from the trunk.

Naraku checked his phone one last time, but Jade hadn't replied. 'She must be asleep.' Bruce had sent him several messages about Sesshomaru's, "accident," but he was going to save those for later...or ignore them entirely.

After three knocks on the door of the brown house, he heard two distinct voices shouting at one another. Both were tinged with annoyance and both were speaking Spanish. As one voice became louder as it approached the door, he recognized it as Lucy.

"The fuck are you doing here?" Lucy asked half with awe and half with irritation after ripping the door open.

"Did Jade not inform you I was coming?" Naraku asked back dryly.

"She's been out most of the day, so no."

"Out as in...asleep?"

"Yeah."

"I see."

"Come in, fucker." Lucy ordered exasperatedly, throwing her head back to stare up at the ceiling. "A guest is a guest."

"Thank you." he replied tonelessly, closing the door behind him. The harsh cold air was now being replaced with softer warm air.

"Huh?" Lucy shouted in response to the voice she had originally been speaking to. She paused to listen again and when she responded, she did so with her usual flare...and with the word, "Puta," mixed in.

Naraku arched an eyebrow and gently cleared his throat to grab Lucy's attention. "I recognize at least one of those words."

"Recognize this." Lucy retorted, flipping him off.

"Lucy!" a woman snapped, appearing from Naraku's left. She swatted at Lucy's hand, which left the airspace a millisecond before to avoid injury.

'This must be the dreaded aunt Bruce told me about.' He sized her up and immediately saw where Lucy's everything came from. From her physical appearance - minus the piercings and dark, dramatic makeup - to her tone and attitude, Lucy was certainly her mother's daughter.

"Please forgive my daugh...ter." Rosa hadn't even looked up at Naraku until then. All she saw was, "a guest," her daughter was flipping off. Her apologetic expression hardened instantaneously.

'She's knows of me.' Naraku realized wryly.

"Ah, so we finally meet." Rosa's hands planted themselves on her hips. "I've heard stories about you."

"Touché." Naraku responded with a grin.

"I hear that you are-"

"Rude, abusive, argumentative, controlling," he listed off, holding up a finger for each suggestion. He locked gazes with her and smirked. "Hot."

Rosa's lips curled up and she smiled a smile that told of his murder by her hands. "I assume Jade invited you?"

"Yes."

"You're lucky she did."

Lucy's snickers gave way to giggles. "Or what? You'll suck his dick until he dies?"

"Lucy!" Rosa turned her fury upon her daughter and Naraku took the opportunity to smile at Lucy's response. He never thought he would see the day that Lucy and he shared the same side...kind of.

"Ay, I calls it as I sees it!" Lucy sprinted up the staircase, well out of her mother's reach. "Come, fucker, I'll show you to your room!"

"You have a lovely home." Naraku said, walking past Rosa. "And family."

"Uh-huh." Rosa sounded completely unconvinced, but she walked back to where she came from.

The second floor lounge had long, wide windows on three out of four walls, allowing in a beautiful view of the property and the mountains beyond it. In the middle of the room was a sunken sofa, four tall bookcases stood against the one wall with no windows, a dining table sat behind him, and a TV sat on a table, its back facing the windows leading to the back yard. Lucy waited for Naraku to finish looking around before turning down the single long hallway.

"This is Lily's room." Lucy said, pointing to the first door on her right. "That is my room." She pointed to the first door on her left. "Straight back is Jade's room, so I'll put you in the one between hers and Lily's." Lucy opened the thick, wooden door and motioned to Naraku. "Make yourself at home. Fair warning; if Jade streams, you'll hear everything."

"I think I can deal with it." he said, placing his bag on the bed. He was pleased to see it was a king sized bed, not that it was going to receive much use anyway.

"Also, we don't know when Jade will wake up."

"I will wait."

Lucy frowned, but she nodded before walking away.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Naraku looked around the room, which was rather spacious. It was slightly bigger than his apartment living room and it had its own bathroom. It also had a TV, two wooden dressers, a closet, and two nightstands on either side of the bed. The sole window was large, overlooking the backyard, and it had a window seat. The fact that he was sitting in the house Jade's childhood home finally set in. She trusted him enough to invite him there, yet he couldn't be bothered to tell her anything about himself beyond what she experienced with him.

'I suppose I can find something to do while I wait.' He looked up when he heard Lucy talking to a different person with a feminine voice. 'The younger cousin, I assume.' Naraku walked out of the room and down the hall, spotting Lucy and another girl of similar age sitting on the sunken sofa. This girl shared similar features with Lucy, but with a slightly thinner, longer face.

"Oh yeah, Naraku, this is my sister, Lily. Lily, this is the fucker." Lucy announced lazily.

"Hi!" Lily chirped, waving to him excitedly.

"Hey." Naraku replied tonelessly, crossing his arms. The bookcases caught his attention again, so he walked over to them to see what the choices were. The sisters were speaking Spanish in low voices now, so he tried his hardest to ignore them.

'There are quite a few books on computer designs and builds; Jade's choices, no doubt.' He also saw a few on video editing. He spotted plenty of romance novels, all of which were garbage, he was sure, and he was unsurprised to see a section of geology-based books. He recognized a few of them; at one point, he considered pursuing a geology degree, so he borrowed and rented every credible book he could get his hands on. Naraku reached out and grabbed one of the books he didn't recognize. 'A volcanology book about New Mexico's volcanic history - that sounds mildly interesting.' Japan was a volcanologist's wet dream, so Naraku wondered how the regions differed beyond magma types and ages.

"Soooooo," Lily began carefully. "What do you do, Naraku?"

"For a living, for my degree, or with Jade?" he asked pointedly, mindlessly flipping through the pages of the book. When he saw cited sources beneath every picture and graph, and within paragraphs, he decided he would give it a read.

"Your degree."

"Biochemistry; specifically plant, water, and soil biochemistry, which I would like to use to pursue medical biochemistry." Naraku explained, turning to look down at Lily. She was resting her arms and head on a pillow, staring up at him curiously.

"That sounds awesome." she said with a smile. She seemed genuinely interested, so Naraku lowered his arms to his sides, keeping the book gripped in his right hand.

"Fuck. She's been asleep for about twelve hours now." Lucy grumbled as she unlocked her phone. "Mom said to tell her if she goes over ten."

"Why?" Lily asked, a confused frown appearing on her face.

"Something about keeping Jade fed."

"I can go wake her up!" Lily suggested, raising her hand in the air after tossing her dreadlocks behind her shoulders.

"No!" Naraku and Lucy replied urgently, holding their hands out to signal her to stop. They both glanced at each other and then looked back at Lily.

"She's probably hungry and she invited you, so I think she'd be happy to know you're here." Lily pointed out shyly, gesturing towards Naraku.

"I'm not giving into Mom's bullshit."

"I'm not going anywhere. When she wakes up, I'll still be here." Naraku said with a huff.

"Something's different about you." Lucy pointed at him.

For some reason, Naraku bristled. "You had two encounters with me almost a month ago; don't act like you know me." Why was he offended by that and not any of the other various insults she tossed his way?

"I saw enough and she told me some things. You were extremely arrogant, demanding, and rude to Jade and right now you're being humble and thoughtful about her. If anything, me noticing the difference is very telling how obvious the change is!"

"Even if it is obvious, why are you acting like it's a bad thing?" Naraku asked bitterly, tightly crossing his arms again. He never claimed to be a good person or anything remotely close to it, but why did everyone seem to object to him even trying to do something good?

"Something, something, ulterior motives." Lucy sang airily, waving her hand dismissively at him. "I'm glad you want to treat her better, but if you hurt her, I'm coming for you."

"I think I can take you." he replied with a snort. If all went to plan, he was going to hurt Jade one last time, so perhaps Lucy would finally have her chance.

"Man, when did I become related to a murderer?" Lily whined, swatting her sister's arm. "Leave him alone, Luce! If he's trying to change, why are you picking at him for it?"

"I'm not; I'm just saying-"

"You're threatening him! You're saying he has ulterior motives! That's picking at him and all it does is discourage him from wanting to be better."

Lucy's eyes rolled. "Jesus fucking Christ, Lily, if he needed an attorney, he would've called you!"

"How much do your services cost?" Naraku interjected jokingly as he looked over at Lily.

"Ahaha, don't worry about it. Me arguing with my sis is on the house."

"Oh my God, fuck already!" Lucy griped, letting out an impatient breath.

"If you're holding this much of a grudge against me for my mistreatments of Jade, I can only imagine what would happen if I slept with your sister." Naraku retorted with a dry laugh. "Especially your younger and, I assume, underaged sister."

Lucy looked up from her phone and smiled widely at him. It was anything but sweet. It was almost like Rosa had appeared in front of him again. "You know what? I'm not even going to argue with you on that. You're not wrong."

"I'm old enough to consent." Lily argued softly.

"Spectacular. I'm ending this conversation now." Naraku turned to walk back to the bedroom.

"Jade's first in line anyway, so lock the chastity belt back up, slut." Lucy shot idly.

"If he treated her as bad as you say, why would she sleep with him? I think you're just mad that he doesn't want to bang you, you fucking harlot."

'Jade, please wake up.' Naraku groaned as he closed the bedroom door behind him. Jade's legendary patience was no longer a mystery to him; growing up with Lucy and Lily must have eroded away most of her sense of annoyance. He crawled onto the large bed and collapsed on his stomach, burying his face into the mattress. 'They really seem to care for her.' Was care the correct word? Was it love they were showing instead? He never could tell the difference after a point. He knew love meant that one cared for another, but caring for someone didn't imply love.

The volcano book proved to be interesting, though a little dry. Once the text began discussing crystal settling and the percentages of minerals for individual volcanoes' magma, he began focusing more on the graphs which told the same story, but with fewer words. Naraku enjoyed playing a game with himself where he would examine data and attempt to interpret what it meant before reading the possible answers.

He began nodding off a little, so he closed the book and placed it on the bed before resting his head on his folded arms. He didn't fall asleep, though. He didn't quite remember when the last time he slept was. All he knew is that he would feel tired, so he would keep still to try to sleep, but when it was finally time for him to move and do something, his body was re-energized entirely and he was able to go about his day normally. It was the orb's doing, and at that point, nothing the orb had done resulted in anything good, but at the same time, it felt great. When the energy filled him again, it was like taking that first deep breath after holding it for a period of time. If he became too emotionally upset, it would brush the emotions away like a broom with dirt.

'Actually, the cursed thing has been rather quiet since we arrived.' he noted. It clearly disliked Jade.

The door to the bedroom opened and he remained still. It was strange, but he could somehow tell it was Jade. Her presence filled the room with warmth, it seemed. He wanted to greet her, but he also wanted to know what she was going to do, if anything. The bed shifted slightly as Jade sat next to him and gently placed her hand on his back.

"Hey," Jade called out gently.

"Hm?" Naraku turned slowly to look at her, making it appear that he had been asleep.

"I just wanted to say hi. I didn't mean to fall asleep earlier. I know it's probably weird being here without me showing you around."

"I mean," Naraku cut himself off. His smart-ass instincts were fast, but now he was able to catch and hold them back. "I don't mind. Plus, you have been sick."

"Meh." She shrugged. "I guess I'll let you go back to sleep now."

"No, I don't need it. I was sleeping out of boredom more than anything." he lied.

"You could've...done anything else, really."

"Yes, but my reason for being here was to see you." he replied. To see her, yes, and to come clean. Though, the moment didn't feel right yet.

Jade smiled at him. "Thanks, dude. It means a lot to hear you say that."

"How are you feeling?" he asked in an attempt to steer the conversation elsewhere. Jade looked at him and shrugged.

"Better now, actually. Weird how sleeping a ton made me feel bad and then sleeping once after not sleeping at all for a couple of days made me feel better."

"That is strange." Naraku folded his arm under his head and draped his other on his stomach.

"Yeah." Jade agreed, moving the volcano book to the nightstand so she could lay on her side next to him. "So, how have you been?"

"I applied for a pharmacy tech job."

"Really? How are you going to juggle that and your degree?"

"I'll deal with it."

"Didn't Bruce say grad students can't hold jobs outside the department?"

"He has also said that I can kiss his ass and I don't do that either." Naraku retorted.

"Fair. Well, I won't snitch."

"Heh, even if you did, it wouldn't matter. I hold all the power until Bruce feels less greedy."

"Also fair. I can't judge because I totally would be all about that money."

"What? You would put up with just about anything for more money?" he asked mockingly.

"Hahaha, I knoooow, dude! Shut up!"

"What a revelation."

"Smart-ass." she shot. "Want me to show you around town tomorrow? Or we can hike. I know a few trails you might like."

"Sure."

"Oh!" Jade tapped the bed beside him. "I had a super cool dream! I opened a video game bar and it was awesome!"

"I'm sure it was."

"I'm bothering you, aren't I?"

"No." Naraku sat up, shaking his head. "I just need to move around."

"Cool, cool."

'I get the feeling something is on her mind; she's acting strangely.' Naraku stepped off the bed and over to the vanity, fluffing his hair while staring into the mirror. Jade sat up on the bed and crossed her legs, tapping a nervous beat on her knees.

"What did you do with Popchop?"

"He is boarded at a vet office."

"Aw, I miss him."

"He misses you, I'm sure. I'm no fun." Naraku said with a grin.

"So, I need to ask you about something," Jade stated carefully.

'This cannot be good.'

"About what?" Naraku stared at her through the mirror.

"I...oh, fuck!" Both of her hands clasped over her mouth as her eyes widened with terror. Naraku turned to her quickly, cringing slightly when he saw tears dripping down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" he interjected urgently.

"Okay! Okay, so you're going to be really, really mad at me!" she insisted, leaping off the bed to put more space between herself and him. "But you deserve to know! I just...can you promise not to get mad until I'm done telling you?"

Naraku stared back at her blankly, frozen in place. 'What...the fuck is she doing?'

"Please? I didn't mean to do it, I swear! Just...Naraku, please don't get mad at me!"

"Do what?" He was completely lost. Her mood change came from nowhere and it was so unlike her. Watching her begging him to not be angry with her was making him feel ill.

"I didn't remember anything when I was having my episodes and then the other day Lily used her witchcraft on me and helped me and now I remember everything I did! I remember hitting Sesshomaru, I remember fighting you, I remember...I'm sorry!"

'Oh.' Naraku felt the nausea beginning to stir. 'She remembers destroying my samples, which means she remembers the heart, too. Shit.' No matter how hard he tried to unravel her from the orb, she continued to get tangled up.

She held both hands out defensively. "This is going to sound weird, bear with-"

"I know it was you." Naraku interrupted calmly, having regained his composure. It was Jade's turn to stare at him dumbfoundedly in silence. Slowly, her gaze dropped to the floor as she mouthed hushed words to herself. She even held her fingers up to list off whatever it was she was thinking. When her eyebrows knitted together with confusion, she looked back at him.

"Um, are we...are we talking about the same thing?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I know you were the one who destroyed my samples." Naraku stated as gently as he could. It didn't matter because Jade immediately cringed and held her head with both hands.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Please believe me!" she begged as she dropped to her knees.

Naraku stepped forward, holding out his hand. "Stand up. I'm not angry."

She hesitated, staring at his hand worriedly. He knew exactly why, too. In the past, he baited her. He acted calm, as if it didn't bother him, and once she was physically close enough, he latched onto her. So, he knelt down to be at eye level with her and tried to make himself appear less intimidating.

"Don't...be afraid." he said in a low voice. "I'm not ang-"

"You're angry! I saw you! I saw how much it hurt! I called you my friend and then I broke into-"

"Listen to me; I know you didn't mean to. Please, believe me." he insisted, using his fingers to motion for her to take his hand. He could tell she wasn't fully paying attention. Was she that scared of how he was going to react?

She swallowed hard, but she nodded and took his hand. Naraku stood first before pulling her to her feet. When he released her hand, he held his arms open and she latched onto him immediately. He smiled, but said nothing, and as soon as the creeping realization of what he had done and the unavoidable consequences set in, his smile disappeared and he held her tighter. Tears threatened to leak from his eyes, but he blinked them away. Suddenly, he remembered the orb taking control over him the previous day.

'It has to be tonight. I can't risk it.'

"Jade, I know you saw something in my office that night,"

Her body tensed up, but she remained quiet.

"I have a lot to tell you, but I'm...uncertain of how to tell you everything." He sighed heavily and released her, stepping back to look at her. She looked concerned, but reserved. "I need to go on a walk, alone, to figure out how I'm going to tell you. Is there a place we can meet at that is private and that you are comfortable with?"

"Uh, I'm pretty comfortable wherever." she replied with a shrug. "As for privacy, the field across the road from us is good."

"It's cold; are you sure?"

"Pfft, I grew up with this." Jade pointed out. "How long do you need?"

"An hour."

"Oooookay." she said with worry, but she didn't argue. She left silently, looking sad.

000000

The anxiety threatened to split open his chest and spill out into the world. He wondered if he wasn't just delaying it needlessly. He could hear the chatter and laughs of the house guests lounging in the hot tubs fading as he walked farther down the driveway. He crossed the road and walked straight into the huge stretch of flattened land. No trees, bushes, or cliffs; just a lake of dead grass with a handful of weathered, triangular mountains in the background. It probably looked even more beautiful in the summer. At the elevation and angle, the moon was large, bright, and full.

"Hm." he hummed, only then noticing just how much he missed living in the mountains. Despite growing accustomed to living in a city, he still preferred the quietness of mountain living. He had a spot that he frequented often back in his village and it resembled this spot. The only noticeable difference, to him, was the constellations.

His thoughts zeroed in on Jade and how he was going to tell her. Multiple articles were saved on his phone, each explaining how to conduct a proper apology, but none of them addressed what he was feeling. A few of them declared that his feelings meant nothing because he was the one who fucked up. All of his anxieties, paranoia, guilt, and fears made it difficult to ignore them long enough to speak, though. If his feelings meant nothing in the situation, then perhaps the authors should have addressed how to handle them silently while apologizing.

'Or, maybe most people already know how to do that and I...don't.' It made sense. As intelligent as he was, he lacked experience when it came to emotions. He had felt things here and there growing up, and certainly with Kikyou, but no one ever explained what they were, what it meant if his body reacted a certain way, and he never asked. He didn't trust anyone to give him honest answers. He read psychology books cover to cover, but there was a disconnect between him and the information. He knew he was currently feeling guilty, he knew why, but he didn't know how to make it go away temporarily.

Naraku began pacing back and forth slowly, reciting different versions of his confession and apology under his breath. If one had even a hint of him trying to garner sympathy, he threw it out and started over. Jade didn't need to know about his childhood and she definitely didn't need to know about Kikyou. If he told her, there was a chance she would feel bad for him, and he didn't want that. Jade needed to know what he did to her, why, and she needed to despise him.

'How will she react?' That was the scariest part. Would she listen to him beginning to end or would she end it all after hearing how he betrayed her while she was vulnerable and while she was starting to like him? She was logical and patient, but she also could be on the fringe of rage in her current condition...which was his fault! 'How could I have been so stupid? I had one good thing and I ruined it!'

"Stupid!" he hissed under his breath. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! Fuck!"

"Naraku," Jade called out. Her voice cut through the air and made him jump. "Whoa, shit, sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." Naraku interjected quickly, turning on his heel to face her. When he saw that she was wearing her outing clothes, hat, coat, and boots, he lowered his head. There she was, bundled up, ready for the weather and completely unprepared for what he was about to unleash on her.

"It's been a little over an hour." she pointed out.

"Already?"

"Yeaaaaah." Jade smiled tentatively at him. "So, something's very wrong?"

'This is it.' he told himself. 'One step at a time.'

"Yes, actually." Naraku grit his teeth, reminding himself that his heart bursting from his chest was impossible. Was he about to drop of a heart attack instead? If not, it fucking felt like it!

She shifted in place. "Really bad?"

"Awful."

"Oh." Jade's smile disappeared. "Well, I'm listening."

He took a moment to stare at her blankly. The hour he allegedly spent reciting his confession and apology? Gone. The articles he read explaining how to apologize? Gone. Why was it so difficult?

"You really don't have to tell me if you don't want to." she insisted, pointing to her chest.

"No, I really do. You need to hear this."

"Should we go inside somewhere instead? Would that help?"

"I don't think you will want me anywhere near you."

Her expression changed from curious to skeptical. "I don't know about that."

Naraku nodded once, staring down at her. Should he apologize first and then tell her? He refrained from punching himself for distracting himself. "I drugged you." he said so quickly that his accent reappeared. He firmly bit his tongue to rein himself back in.

Jade blinked slowly, her eyebrows rising as she opened her eyes. "What? When?"

"The morning when you had your meltdown in the lab," he answered. He nearly reached out to touch her when he saw the horrified expression spread onto her face, but he was the last person she needed comfort from. "I received a mystery sample alongside my thesis samples and I wanted to see what it would do, if anything."

"Are you fucking with me?" she asked, the disbelief in her voice slapping Naraku across the face. "You're just fucking with me, this is just some joke,"

"No, Jade, I'm serious. Everything that has happened to you in the past three months is because of me."

Her mouth dropped open, but nothing came out. It looked like she wanted to say a million different things. She had already taken a few steps back from him, holding her hands out in defense.

"When you were comatose in the hospital, I took a sample of blood from your arm to use for further experiments."

That one didn't seem to register with her at first, but once she was able to fully comprehend it, the fury began to seep from her and she began to tremble. "I...defended you!" She spoke slowly and her tone was raw with hurt. The worst part was that she wasn't screaming; she was holding it back. "I told everyone that you saved me!" Jade's voice quivered with anger.

"You did and I didn't."

"I...I just wanted to be your friend!" The floodgates opened and Jade fell to her knees, sobbing, and letting out screams of frustration. Her hands frantically stroked and tugged at her hair as she bent over to face the ground. Jade's hands moved from her head to punch and hit the ground, crunching the dead grass. "How could you? How could you?"

'Because I am a disgusting human being.' It was worse than when she had the meltdown in the lab. Naraku forced himself to stand there, watch every second of it, hear every scream of betrayal and disbelief, listen as she called herself stupid for trusting him, for believing he liked her, and as much as he wanted to stop her and tell her she was wrong, that he did like her, and that she wasn't stupid whatsoever, he didn't. He clamped his mouth shut. Every time his mind tried to pull him away, he focused on her harder, hoping to burn this moment into his memory so hard that not even brain damage would make him forget it.

All the science in the world couldn't fix what he broke inside her.

When she was able to, Jade reared up to look at him. He forced himself to look back at her. "Why?" she asked hoarsely, tears glistening in the moonlight.

"At the time, I assumed nothing would happen, and that I would help you if something did go wrong. I just wanted to know."

"You just wanted- was it worth it? Did you get everything you wanted? Did you take notes? Do you need me to demonstrate any of it again?"

"No, no, yes, and no."

"And you're just standing there like a fucking robot." she stated with calm disbelief as she gestured to him with her hand. "I'm a fucking idiot for thinking you even cared a little bit about me."

Naraku swallowed hard and balled his hands into fists. "I feel absolutely awful about it. I can't even begin to describe it."

"I don't believe you!"

"I don't deserve to cry with you or in front of you and you don't deserve to be burdened with any of my feelings. I fucked up."

Jade blinked several times, seemingly confused about something. She inhaled sharply and threw her hands up dramatically before letting them fall into her lap. "So, is there anything else you'd like to share with me?"

"An apology." he said. "Jade, I'm sor-"

She looked away and huffed, holding her hand up to stop him. "And the mystery shit you drugged me with; what was it? Did you even figure that much out? I probably need to know so I can tell my doctors."

"I've learned a lot about it, but I don't know what it is because I've never seen anything like it before in my life. I know you physically became stronger, your reflexes were faster, and you healed much faster. I'm going to assume you had strange, vivid dreams because it's happening to me, too."

"Wait," Jade looked at him incredulously.

'Shit.' Naraku closed his eyes. His nerves got the better of him and he slipped too much information.

"You did this to yourself? Why would you do that? Did you not see what it- Naraku, what the fuck?"

"I did it to myself to learn more so I could possibly help you and," Naraku paused and opened his eyes to look at her again. "I deserve it and everything it does to me."

She teared up and shook her head. "I wouldn't have wanted you to."

"I know."

"Goddamn it, Naraku!" Jade spat, punching the ground one last time.

"I planned on leaving in the morning, but I can leave now."

"No, I'm not fucking done with you!" She quickly pushed herself to her feet and for a fleeting moment, Naraku thought she was going to attack him, and he welcomed it. Instead, she pointed at him furiously. "I'm done talking to you for right now, but I'm not done with you or this! If you take off, I will drop your name, your phone number, your address, your office number - everything - online to my followers! They will do things to you that I can't!"

Naraku nodded at her in silent agreement. He stood in place as she stormed off, allowing her to go inside and do whatever she needed to do to calm down without him being near her. He had already been outside for over an hour, so what was another two or three?

'Maybe something will kill me and put us all out of our misery.'

000000

The view from the window seat looked out over the stretch of flat land behind the houses that turned into woods. To his right, the other guests filled the two hot tubs behind the other house, laughing and drinking. A knock made him jump slightly.

"Yes?" he called out.

"It's me." Jade said. "Can I come in?"

"S-Sure, if you want to." Naraku turned his head to hide his shock when she opened the door. What was she doing? He heard the mattress squeak when she climbed onto it.

"Come over here." she said, patting the mattress in front of her.

Slowly, Naraku rose from the window seat and walked over to the bed. She pat the spot in front of her again and shifted her position to give him more room. For a moment, he stared at the empty space, debating whether or not he should.

"I won't bite." she sighed. "Or hit, or scream, or kick."

'I wish you would.' He swallowed hard and sat down gently, staring down at his lap. He could tell she showered recently; the fragrance of citrus shampoo and body wash lightly caressed his nose.

"Look at me." Her tone had hardened.

His body turned to stone. Gritting his teeth, he raised up and opened his eyes, locking gazes with her. Tears were welling up in her green eyes and her hands were balled into slightly-shaky fists. She said nothing for a long moment, almost like she was trying to burn him down with her stare alone. Perhaps she was imagining what she wanted to do to him.

"What you did...h-hurt...so much!" she began, her voice sounding forced. "I can't even fully describe it; just that my insides are dying and on fire."

'I would prefer her beating me to death over this.' Naraku had never felt this way, even about Kikyou's death. That was an accident; this was on purpose.

"I just need some answers from you and I want you to be honest." She opened her fists and decided to grab her knees instead.

"Alright." he agreed.

"What changed? You didn't care when you drugged me, so what changed your mind, if anything? If you seriously still don't care, just tell me now."

"You changed my mind." Naraku watched her for a moment and saw a look of confusion flash across her face before being replaced with a tempered angry one. He decided to explain further. "I regretted it the moment I saw how sick you were, but I still tried to rationalize it as necessary. As time went on, I saw your strength, and you showed me a level of kindness I didn't deserve. You didn't give up on me. Even then, I still thought that the healing properties the solutions yielded outweighed you. When you showed up for me after my samples were destroyed, I realized that I had been lying to myself. Nothing is worth your life to me and I hate that I didn't realize it sooner."

"Okay." Her voice shook. "Why tell me now? You could have said nothing I would've been none the wiser."

He swallowed hard, trying to keep control of himself. He reminded himself that Jade didn't deserve the burden of his emotions. "I held off because I was scared that you would never speak to me again. I enjoyed being around you, and the longer I held off, the harder it became. When you invited me here, I decided you were far past needing to know and that my feelings mean nothing in this situation. As for why now? You needed to know. You're home with family. My thought process was that you were most comfortable here, and your family would support you."

She stared at him, searching for something. Tears? Deceit? Then she exhaled. "What do you think I should do?"

"Do?"

"About this, you, us - what should I do?"

"I'm not- I don't know." he lied.

"Should I forgive you?"

"No!" he answered desperately. Why would she do such a thing? Even Jade had her limits and Naraku soared past them. How was that word even in her vocabulary where he was concerned? That was the opposite of what needed to happen!

"Do you want me to forgive you?"

"No!"

"Then what do you want? I'm not understanding what you're-"

"I want you to hate me, Jade." Naraku said strongly, staring unblinkingly at her. "I want you to tear me apart and spit on the pieces. I want you to burn down my apartment. I want you steal the guinea pig first. I want you to drop two blocks of cement on my new car. I want you to completely destroy me...because I deserve all of it and more. You deserve revenge, justice, closure - whatever you need or want, take it."

She frowned at him for a few seconds before looking away. "Why do you want that?"

"I don't know."

"You said you would be honest."

"I am being honest."

"Then tell me why you think I should hate you."

"I should be punished for what I did to you; I almost killed you."

Silence fell between them and neither of them could look at the other. Naraku usually loved silence, but this was awful. He glanced at her quickly, seeing her biting her bottom lip thoughtfully and anxiously.

'Something is still wrong with her. She's still sick and isn't thinking clearly. She cannot truly want to still be around me.' It was incomprehensible to him. If she told her family and friends, they would possibly ostracize her for choosing to stick with him. She couldn't risk that for him.

"Honestly, I think you've been punished enough, Naraku." Jade finally said after what felt like years of silence.

He had no issue staring at her now. His eyes were wide open and his mouth fell open. How? How did she come to that answer? Two plus two equals four, not fish! It made no fucking sense! What was she? No human was so insanely forgiving!

"How?" It was all he could say. Naraku could comprehend any equation thrown at him, but Jade was defying the laws of reality now. He simply did not understand.

"I assaulted you, destroyed your car, broke into your office, ruined your life's work,"

"You didn't mean to do any of that."

"I didn't need to mean it; I did it, all of it, and you suffered, right?"

"Right, but-"

"No, that's it; end of transaction. You did a fucked-up, cruel thing and it came back at you hard."

"That isn't taking our relationship into account, Jade. The transaction should be you hating me because of what I did."

"Naraku," she whined, hiding her face in her hands momentarily before rearing up. "I'm tired, dude. I'm so fucking tired in so many different ways. I know you're having a hard time understanding me, but let me put it like this; I'm tired of hurting and I'm tired of seeing others hurt, and I just want it all to stop. Someone has to end the cycle. This idea you have of back and forth, get what you deserve - what does it accomplish besides adding more pain?"

"That's how the world works."

"I'm not the fucking world! I'm Jade and I'm tired! I'm so, so tired." Jade reached over and placed her hand on his, making him tense up. "Please? Naraku? Can we just...close this book already?"

"Jade, you're making a horrible mistake." Naraku took her hand in his and gently pushed it back towards her. When he let go, he placed his hands back in his lap.

"How? I know what I'm doing."

"If you're that tired, then you shouldn't be making this decision right now."

"My answer won't change. I'm just not like that."

"Then so be it, but I refuse to accept that answer until you're in a different headspace."

Now it was her turn to panic. "Is it that hard for you? Accepting forgiveness?" she asked him sharply.

"Your forgiveness is a white flag. You said it yourself; you're too tired to even care enough, let alone properly stand up for yourself."

"So, you're throwing it back in my face?"

"No."

"Sure fuckin' sounds like it."

Naraku pressed a hand to his chest. "I'm asking you to think about it when you're feeling better. This is why I was hesitant to tell you now, but I didn't want it to go on any longer."

Jade looked down, a thoughtful look appearing on her face. He could tell something else was on her mind, but either didn't want to speak of it or didn't know how. Suddenly, she inhaled sharply and straightened her posture.

"Okay, fuck it." she said dismissively. "There is some weird shit going on with...whatever it is you're fucking with. So, what you're saying is that my body healing faster, increased strength, and quicker reflexes are all a result of the stuff you drugged me with?"

"Yes, alongside the dreams I'm assuming you've had."

"The glowing stuff I took from your apartment? Is that it?" Jade continued. Naraku nodded. "So, the weird beating heart...was real?"

"Yes."

"Whaaaaaaat the fuck, Naraku? What...how?" Jade nearly shrieked with frustration and disbelief.

"The stuff, as you call it, replicates itself upon contact with blood, and when in contact with organic structures, it mimics their shape and function." Naraku explained. "It currently has control of a dead cat."

The look Jade gave him was a mix of confusion, disbelief, and horror. She stuttered as she tried to speak, but she couldn't form words.

Finally, she let out a frustrated groan. "I know you have notes and shit; where are they?"

"I brought most of it."

"Give it." Jade demanded, holding her hand out expectantly as if Naraku had it all stuffed in his pocket. He caught a hint of skepticism from her.

An idea hit him. He had a video of the crystals forming on his arm after he cut himself to test it out. Naraku pulled his phone from his pocket and found the video. He handed his phone to Jade.

"Watch that while I grab my notes." he said, stepping off the bed. Jade frowned and held the phone sideways and close to her face.

'This is not going the way I planned.' Naraku unzipped his bag and pulled out his thick, black binder, which held all of his papers, pictures, handwritten notes - nearly everything he had. He walked back to the bed and sat down, studying Jade's face. She was now staring off at nothing, one hand cupped over her mouth and the other still holding his phone.

"This is real." Jade stated, her voice muffled through her hand.

"It is, unfortunately." he replied, offering the binder to her. "Take your time or use it as evidence to turn me in."

"No, no, that's not happening." she said while shaking her head. "As much as I want to hit you over the head with this, I won't do that either. I'm not going to sink to your level and I'm not going to do what you want me to do."

"Fine." Naraku sighed. How did his admission go from a devastated Jade to a...curious one? He thought about all the times they discussed papers with each other, reciting their findings to each other, and the more he thought, the more he remembered that Jade loved learning. Here he was, waving evidence of a supernatural force in her face, and she latched onto it immediately. Whether out of curiosity or out of an impulsive need to push aside her feelings, he had to commend her for her strength.

'Should I show her the orb? Will it do anything if I expose it?' he wondered. 'No, I won't endanger her again.' The accursed orb had been awfully quiet since he left his apartment. Naraku's gaze rested on Jade, who was flipping through his binder to find a place to start. 'It specifically sacrificed the pink crystals made from her blood to save itself; I wonder why?'

His hand slipped into his pocket, the tips of his fingers brushing against its glassy surface. He asked it to make the nausea and anxiety go away. It did not respond. He demanded it to make the feelings go away. Again, it didn't respond.

Finally, he closed his eyes and begged it, whispering under his breath so Jade could not hear. "Please, make it go away." He needed it all to go away! As much as he deserved it, he couldn't handle the misery.

It didn't respond.