(AN: Hey people! How are you doing, this chapter contains a lot of Fourtris stay tuned!! Also guys i love you for all the support. Its so good to see you all be there with me all throughout the journey)
FOUR POV
Chapter song : A thousand years by Christina Perri
As Uriah gulps down the smoothie, my mind gravitates to Four.
Al throws in a dare to Zeke, and Zeke sits a few minutes later in makeup... Done by Christina.
People are pretty drunk now. Zeke is down 4 beers and everybody else is down 3 beers. Except me.
And Four.
I did not have the mind to do it and neither did Four apparently.
Rachel has passed out on her boyfriend and Nita is horribly drunk.
Zeke brings in a bottle of vodka. Now I know that the game is going to end when all of them pass out. I pull up the blanket, shivering a bit. I look around,
Chris with Will.
Zeke with Shauna.
Uriah with Marlene.
Rachel with Ryan.
Even though Peter and Al are sitting with their beer almost naked.
He... Four, he was with her,... Nita.
She snuggled closer to him as he leaned forward his elbows on his thigh. Looking ahead and sitting a bit stiff.
But he never told Nita to fuck off.
I felt... lonely.
As if I was the only one denying my chances.
I had plenty of them. Plenty of boys and plenty of opportunities. They say teenage is the age of insecurities but I was just scared... to commit. And I was afraid of getting my heart broken.
Yet again, here I was denying myself of my chances with Four and at the same time feeling lonely.
I have this sudden feeling that the eye contact.. all throughout the game, was something. It meant something. At least I think of it as that.
I sometimes want to give up on my own choices and choose... him.
But I know I can't, because I am terrified that I'll mess up things. I may seem confident. I am. But I am not. When it comes to things like... that night. Those nights. To give myself completely to someone. To feel naked and vulnerable. Not only physically but also... emotionally. I never dared to think about it. Maybe that is the reason I am afraid of commitment. Promising a part of me to someone else.
I see Chris and Will. You see they are like the perfect couple. Always on to each others throats and at the same time so deep in love. Maybe love does that to you. Helps you face yourself. Accept yourself and stop pushing yourself away from you.
Oh right i know it doesn't make sense but these were just the passing thoughts, the main content sifting through my mind with the background murmur of the game. God knows what was happening.
At this moment I feel as though i was wrong all along for not giving myself the chance that i should've. I just can't sit around and wait for Mr. Perfect, right? How would I know I like it or not if i dont dip my feet into the water.
I look at them, all of my friends and... not so friends and I know. I know I want love. I want to be capable of loving someone but firstly, loving myself. I am going to face myself. I am not going to deny myself of chances.
I know it will be hard for me to try to date. I haven't done that before. I have just made a reputation. Well fuck that. I dont want it. I want to try. Go back into my past and correct my present.
I'll give myself a chance. I am not that girl who will wait for the guy to make a move anymore. I am not going to deny what i deserves to know.
You know, there is this curious part of me. That wants to explore, explore all the boundaries that my friends have already explored. I feel empty. And I have to fill that void. With care and friendship.
I sigh into space as Zeke's voice cuts in, "Okay guys, I am so fucking tired. I think let's make this the last round. It's late." he says putting his hand around Shauna and smiles at her.
"Okaaaaay I want to go.", Chris slurs.
Bro she is so fucking drunk.
"Trisssy.."
"Chris don't call me that", I say back.
"okay kiss 3 guys to your right." Chris says.
"I didn't even pick." is say with a smile.
"Doesn't matter!"
"oh my god. Okay" I smile.
Its too late to realise. That the three guys to my right are Uriah, Al and... Four.
Holy shit.
I get up with a sigh and peck Uri's lips.
"nuhuh longer" Chris stops me.
"okay wait you can add up time... 15 seconds per person. So you kissed Uri for like two seconds and up the rest of the 13 seconds to you left over kisses. That means... Umm 43 seconds of kissing left." she says.
Now next.
"You're pretty good at math even when you are drunk, girl" Mar comments.
"Oh thaaaaaaaaank youuuuuuuu" she says and goes back to eating up Will's face.
"Tris you're up."Al smirks.
Ewwww no.
I look at Uriah. He shrugs.
I lean down and kiss Uriah again. For a few more seconds... 5 maybe? Ughhhhh.
I would rather kiss Uriah for the whole time and not kiss the other two but he has a girlfriend...
Wait.
Actually. I don't mind kissing...Four.
I walk up to Al and press my lips to his. He forces his ahead. His breath reeking of alcohol. I feel dizzy as he puts his hand on my waist and...
I am numb. Frozen.
Memories flood my mind. Hands on the hip going downward. Pulling up my frock and pressing into my thighs. Pain shoots through wrenching my gut. Hands squeeze my thighs.
I am snapped out of my thoughts as Al pushes his tongue into my mouth.
I pull back, jerking him away from me.
"No more" I whisper as I glare at him. It would be better for him to back off.
"that would be another 8 seconds" Zeke says a timer in his hand.
Are you fucking kidding me!! All those thoughts just 8 seconds. Al tries to pull me in but i pull away from him completely.
"Zeke seriously there's no need for timer. Are you kidding me this is just a stupid dare game." I say.
I don't want to do this any-
Oh right.
Four.
An involuntary smile makes its way to my lips. Its not noticable but why am I happy.
I take a deep breath.
" Sorry hon, you have to complete it... Four you're up... 30 seconds on the click Tris.", Shauna says.
It wouldn't be that bad right.
I have never kissed him. And i never thought I would but here right at this moment, I had promised myself. To not pull back and close down.
I have to give myself a chance.
I look at him and the only thing that comes to my mind is what he had done today.
Stop it Tris.
"You know we don't have to do this. It's okay", he says, his voice low. I look into his eyes and i migrate back to the corridor. Outside Tori's class. When we were so... close.
I see somewhat... something different in his eyes. Is he hurt.
"No it's a game and I don't want to back off", I say shaking my head.
"Hurry up pancycakes! I want to go sleep" Uri screams. As he picks up a tequila bottle.
Half of them have passed out and Chris is almost asleep.
I move towards him. And I stand in front of him. Four Eaton. My mind wanders to all small details. A small scar on his chin, a sculpted nose and beautiful blue eyes. My favourite colour with a streak of light blue in one eye. His eyes become dark as he stares at me. And his Adams Apple bobs up and down as he swallows giving away my eyes access to his sculpted shoulders. Perfection carved into a living human being. Is he nervous? Why should he be nervous when he is kissing... me. I should be the nervous one.
He speaks slowly and soft. Soft enough for only us to hear. Only both of us. It feels like it... Like it was only us in the room. "I'm sorry Tris. I really didn't-"
Oh god. No. I dont care about it now.
"-Al he just was so into you and I never knew it was... you and I-"
"It's okay. I dont care about it anymore. I am sorry I just burst out on yo-" I say.
"C'mon what are you whispering... kiss fast", Zeke says.
"Ugghh why do all our conversations end up with a sorry in between" he murmurs looking sideways, his voice gritty and rough, cracking a it as he speaks. He laughs a little.
And I can't help but smile at his cuteness. He looks back at me smirking a bit, extending his hand towards me, "M'lady, please. We have got a dare to complete" he says.
I giggle a bit looking at his hand and place mine in his, he pulls me in. Our wide smiles collapse immediately as we share the same breath. He sighs hard. As if it is too difficult for him to accept this. Well it is difficult for me too. He lowers his mouth to mine and my eyelids close a bit. Half open. My lips part a bit.
And we are breathing the same air. I feel him brush my lips with his. A slight tingling feeling spreading warmth through my veins. Heat seeps in through my lips and my cheeks grow warm. He pulls back a little, breathing hard, he leans in and I tily my head up to give him some better access. Our lips meet halfway.
The are soft and warm, making me hot and warm. Tingling my lips. Heat seeping through my blood, warming me up. He moves his lips against mine and I lean up a bit more.
Maybe we both wanted this.
I feel warmth in the pit of my stomach, butterflies making me giddy. I smile into the kiss and I feel his tongue going across my lips... asking for permission. Like a gentleman.
I open up my lips completely granting him entrance and my hand involuntarily reach up behind his neck. His hands on my hips going up and down. Not further, just warming me up enough to keep me tethered to the ground. My hands snake into his hair. So soft and so...
I could run my hands through them all day long. His hand leaves my hips, one on spot, the other raised up through my shoulder to my hair. Caressing me slowly. He never crosses the line. Like everybody does. He is chivalrous.
As his tongue massages mine, we both fight for dominance. Memories of me, freezing up tonight surface but... they melt away just like they came. Into nothingness.
All my feat and insecurities seem illogical right now. As if they were never meant to be. We pull back for breath for a second and meet again in the middle, the battle for dominance going hard.
"Times uppppppp" I hear a voice yell. In my state, I can't even recognise it.
We pull apart, just enough to breathe the same air, I am on my tip toes he is leaning down a bit. Breathing hard.
"Are you sure that it was dare?" I whisper, our lips touching as I speak.
He sighs in response. And looks into my eyes.
"Okay that was fine. Game over. Those who want to drink stay back the rest of you get out" Uri says. We break apart and I go back to where I was sitting grabbing a bottle of tequila.
Four grabs another bottle and sits across me... far on the other side of the circle.
️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️(AN:I cried a bit writing this chapter. People are sometimes so alone, they are unable to find themselves in the midst of this stormy life. You end up pretending all the time not giving themselves a chance to know oneself. I think that Tris and Four, even if they don't connect physically have that bonding of being there for each other. Supporting each other by your actions and prayers for the partner. I love their chemistry)
