Chapter 12- No Love

The cab rolled up to Coral Lane, and Spongebob got out of it. He threw the cab guy some money, and a little extra for a tip. Taking a quick look around, Spongebob noticed that he was alone. It was the middle of the day, and yet the entire street was deserted.

"What the…" Spongebob said.

"Hey." He heard a hiss from below, but there was no one there. "Hey!" A bit louder, and the manhole in the road was shaking.

Oh. It was Fenry.

"Down here! Boss' got a job for us." It was an unconventional place to meet for sure, but there are times where everyfish does what they have to do. Spongebob made his descent into the manhole, and he found himself in a murky sewer.

"What are we doing down here?" Spongebob questioned, the deathly scent reached his half-cut nose. He fought back several gags.

"Like I said, boss has a job for us. Something big, I hear." Fenry whispered. "Game changing."

Spongebob's heartbeat rose. When Plankton told him that he would be going on jobs for him and the mafia, he never thought it would be this soon. Maybe Plankton was in a hurry, but that was just fine, he was too.

Flush

A flushing sound echoed through the sewers, and a metal grate opened, pushing a small mass of water out from the ceiling.

Plop!

Spongebob flinched, he didn't want to see what various...solids that other fish in Bikini Bottom were expelling. But, there was nothing in the water besides Plankton.

"Hello boys. Sorry about that, couldn't get the manhole open. Had to flush myself down a toilet." Plankton chuckled, wringing out his handlebar moustache. "Well, suppose we shouldn't waste any time. The rumors are true, I do got a job for ya. Interested in what I'm cooking up?"

A GUI popped up, and gave some information about the quest Plankton had given them.

(Level 30 recommended) We need your help! Plankton is calling for all hands on deck, and he specifically needs your help along with a few other friends (Co-op optional) to help obtain his goal! The job is rather secret, and Plankton will reveal it over time. But for now, a minimum level of 30 is recommended, with extra experience in the stealth, agility, and thieving skill trees.

Rewards: ?

Do you accept? YES/NO

Spongebob was flabbergasted reading the message from the GUI, but he pressed the big green "YES" almost immediately.

"Good to hear. Follow me, and bring some snacks. We're going on a ride." Plankton smiled.


Spongebob gazed out of the window. All mobsters drove PT cruisers, but spongebob had wished it wasn't such an ugly shade of green. Plankton's mob liked to dress, and own things the same shade as Plankton. Spongebob didn't ask why, but he always assumed it was so Plankton could avoid his natural predators, crabs. "Can you pass me a hit?" Fenry said.

Fenry was calmly looking out the opposite window of spongebob. "Uh yeah sure." Spongebob had wished in that moment he brought a different snack, maybe like Goldfish or Cheez Its. Fenry grabbed Spongebobs hand, and put the entirety of it in his mouth. Like a vacuum he sucked with such ferocity it dislocated his arm, only for it to be pulled off entirely. A series of arms regenerated and was fed into the cucumber's mouth.

"Fenry, puff puff pass." Plankton was in the front seat of the cruiser, not the driver of course. Spongebob extended his arm, allowing Plankton to slurp with ease.

"When are we going to get there?" Spongebob commented, he had hoped the snacking would end soon.

"Soon…" Plankton murmured, as he slurped some more arm-noodles. "We are approaching Speedo Falls, in maybe another mile or so." He looked down at his miniature watch, "and then we are going to get her back." He looked out of the window, as they all were right now. A single tear flew down his cheek.

"So what happened to her?" Spongebob's boldness made Plankton sneer. He turned around, looking back at Spongebob.

"She was… stolen from me." His eye glowed almost, just from the intensity of his emotions. "My Karen…" Fenry had stopped chewing out of respect. "I uploaded her to the ShellCloud… I intended on bringing her back... but…" His eye glowed a little more. "There was a hack." Plankton looked forward once more.

"The hack of 2014." Spongebob recalled all of his nude photos being leaked to the public, not that anyone wanted to see them.

"Yes…" No one said a word. They waited for Plankton to speak. "Which is why we are stealing a Mercedes Boat…" His eyes were focused on the road, glowing almost blindingly. "And we're going to shoot that bastard."


Squidward was still awaiting his final verdict. He had been alone in his cell for so long, he couldn't count the days. He had only been visited by one person, and not his lawyer. Debby Pfishburg was driving down the 1-10, straight towards Speedo Falls. She felt the water in her hair, the bubbles tickling the nape of her neck. She liked to browse the motorsports section of town, Bikini Bottom only had 1 dealership, owned by Mrs. Puff. The road was no longer bumpy, she was now gliding on pure 20 carat road. The lights of the city blinded her, but she was wealthy enough to afford Calcium Carbonate Aviators, straight from local oysters.

Debby stared off into the distance, transfixed on the wondrous buildings. Each one had a unique and modern design. It was one of the best reasons to come down to the Falls, the architecture. Some of them twisted slightly as they stood strong with needles on the top of the buildings, all attracting a different service from the satellites above. They shined in the lightness of the water, pristine glass reflecting onto her eyes. This was the place she called home most. The antithesis of Bikini Bottom.

The air was clean, too. Here she was actually able to fill her gills with water and open her operculum fully. In Bikini Bottom she would get a small high going if she even breathed too much at one time. This city had moved along to clean energy, using hydro turbines in the outskirts of the city. It was relaxing here. And clean.

She had now passed the neighborhood district, and was now approach The Main Current. Smack dab on the strip was her favorite store, Cars by Lars. It was directly adjacent to The Apple Store. Lars greeted her, "Debby!" He pointed at an antique Volkswagon Beetle. "We just got a new car in! Drives right above the surface, giving you a great view of the sky and keeps a fresh supply of salt water!" Lars was clearly extra sweaty at the moment, it was extra visible with him being a crab.

Debby laughed, "I'm here for a boat today Lars, my PT Cruiser is still running at top capacity." Lars opened up a lock on the backdoor.

"Stand back" Lars kicked the door down, it was already open but he had been pining for Debra's affection since he saw her. "Alright, no sweat, now what're you in the mood for?"

Debby pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket, "How about a new Mercedes Boat?" Lars gasped.

"Got a raise at the station?" Lars hands the keys to her.

"Something like that" she smiled as she got in. Debby examined the boat, rubbing her fins along the dashboard, and taking in that wonderful new boat smell. This was the one. "Oh yeah. Something just like that."

"Goes for about 1200 shells a month, considering the rates you could handle that we went over all that time ago." Lars smiled.

"Oh no dear. I plan on paying this in full." Debby said, transfixed on the beautiful boat. "Get in, Lars." Lars got in the passenger seat, and they both sat inside the boat, in silence.

"So...I've been thinking…" Lars said.

"Thinking? About what?" Debby questioned. Lars sat there in his seat, fumbling his fins together.

"About us."

"Not this again." Debby looked at him.

"What do you mean again? One date? You can afford this boat but you can't afford me that?"

"No. I'm sorry. It would just be too much."

Glass shattered in the background.

"Um...what was that?" Debby said.

Just then, the Mercedes boat right next to her sped off, straight through the window that was now broken.

"Oh SHIT! Someone's stealing one of my boats! Debby, go AFTER THEM!" Lars screamed.

She started the ignition right inside the building, and pulled forward. "Send me the bill, I'm taking this thing out NOW!" She drove through the wall and continued out towards the sunset, and after the perpetrators, heading back to Bikini Bottom.


Plankton pulled up to the back of the Mercedes boat dealership. Lars' Cars. One of the last places around that sells cars, and one of the only places Plankton would be able to get a clean car with no prior history to it. The perfect getaway car. This plan...this...heist...would have to be executed perfectly from here on out if he was going to get Karen back.

Once he finished some of the other setup missions, he would be able to get the team together for the heist finale. Karen's Rescue.

"Okay boys. I hope you know how to be quiet. Quiet as a mouse, or this is gonna get all fucked up." Plankton said. "The plan is simple. You two are gonna go in, hotwire the Mercedes Boat, and get the HELL outta there. Don't worry about hotwiring, Spongebob. Fenry is gonna walk you through it."

"Wait what? Why am I going to be hotwiring the car?" Spongebob hissed. Plankton rolled his eye.

"Because, you idiot, Fenry won't be able to hold the wires! He's a sea cucumber!"

"Then how did he hold the gun earlier today?" Spongebob said. Just then, Fenry pushed really hard, and grunted, and a small appendage grew from his side.

"See this? This can't hold wires and spark them together. Now stop being a little bitch and get with it" Fenry said.

"Anyways," Plankton said, "Once the boat is ready to go, I'll shatter the glass in the front of the dealership and you drive off into the sunset. We'll regroup at HQ."

"We ready to go?" Plankton asked.

"Hell yeah we are." Spongebob peeked into the back window of the dealership, but quickly ducked his head down.

"Goddamn it! There's already a cop in there. Are we busted?" Spongebob whimpered.

"What?" Plankton said, and jumped up onto the dashboard of the car they were in. "Oh, hell. It's that Officer Debby woman. What's she doing here? You're gonna have to sneak around them, like a stealth mission of sorts. You guys can do this. Now get on in there!"

"Debby!" Lars' smile permeated throughout the room. "We just got a new car in! Drives right above the surface, giving you a great view of the sky and keeps a fresh supply of salt water!" Spongebob could hear their mumbling in the next room. He looked over at Fenry, who was leading the way. They had just gotten the outer lock off, luckily Fenry had maxed out the thievery skill tree.

"Is that the boat?" Spongebob was amazed, he was only across the room but he could feel it's shiny glow. "Wow… that's prettier than any boat I've ever seen… I mean, driven." His eyes dashed around the room, but clearly Fenry wasn't even listening. "I'm here for a boat today Lars, my PT Cruiser is still running at top capacity." There was a muffled laughter in the next room, but Spongebob focused on keeping his footsteps quiet.

"Spongeee" Fenry whisipered. "PSSSSSST." Spongebob had stopped his tiptoeing.

"What?" He tried to keep his yelling to a whisper.

"We've got an obstacle up ahead, just stay behind me." Fenry scooted towards the boat, with Spongebob in line behind him. Spongebob was surprised though, the obstacle wasn't an obstacle at all. It was something he was born to do.

Up ahead was a 'Caution Do Not Slip' sign, right atop a puddle of oaky brown liquid. "Fenry- Fenry-" Spongebob had tried to stop the cucumber from crossing, but he heard the sound of a lock jingling from behind them. "They're coming!" Fenry turned around, right before the puddle. They were almost at the boat, but they didn't want to slip or get any icky stuff on their new green uniforms. Spongebob made a mad dash for the spill, sliding in its brown-ness. Fenry gasped, his suit was now ruined! The lock continued to jingle.

"Plankton is going to kill you! We just ordered these! Amazon's shipping takes forever to reach the Pacific." Spongebob looked determined, and unfazed. He began to suck and suck- and the brown liquid absorbed out of his suit and into his Sponginess.

Spongebob smirked, he was right. This wasn't a regular spill, this was a bourbon spill. One he was all too familiar with. Fenry dashed over the bravve sponge, and hid behind one of the less popular boats, specifically the Toyota Boat. "Stand back" a voice boomed. The door flung open, revealing two fish in the middle of a very business-like conversation. Spongebob was still laying next to the 'Caution Do Not Slip' sign, only now the spill was gone.

"Alright, no sweat, now what're you in the mood for?" A very greasy looking fish smiled, proud of his wares. "How about a new Mercedes Boat?"

"Got a raise at the station?" Lars asked, they were both turned around, and the both of them were focused on the other Mercedes boat on display. This was the time to go for it. Spongebob and Fenry slipped into the Mercedes boat right next to Debby and Lars, and ducked down under the wheel.

"Something like that." Spongebob popped open the wire board next to the wheel.

"Okay Sponge, don't mess this up. We only get one chance. Now, take out the wires."

"Oh yeah. Something just like that." Debby said in the background, while Spongebob took out the wires. There were many assorting wires of many different colors. There was one wire for almost every major color. Red, blue, yellow, green, purple, indigo, black, white, even peach!

"Just as I said. One chance. These are some of the hardest boats in all the ocean to hotwire. But I got this. You got this. We got this." Fenry whispered. "Undo the yellow wire." Spongebob followed the orders, and undid the yellow wire. "Now blue." Spongebob followed that as well. "Green. Red. Indigo." Wire after wire became undone, and Spongebob followed every order that was given.

Once every wire was undone, the real work began. Fenry instructed Spongebob to tie the wires in all different types of knots, sailors knots, shoe knots, knot knots, the list really went on.

"Fenry, I thought you said this was hard." Sponegbob said.

"That's not it. The hard part is now. Back in 20XX, the Mercedes Boat company petitioned the development team to create a failsafe in case any of their cars were stolen. When the new models started coming out, the cars were programmed to explode when started by wire. We learned that the hard way, and lost many members of our mafia. That was until I created a new method to bypass the trip to blow up the car, and it can only be done at this point. Look behind the wires."

Spongebob craned his neck further, and looked deep into the compartment next to the wheel. Behind it was a bomb.

"Oh my god. Is that-"

"Yes. People will do anything to protect what's theirs."

"Is this really the getaway car? Or is it for something else?"

All Fenry did was smirk.

"Disarm the bomb. It must be disarmed but we need to be able to use it still. See the wires on that one?" Fenry whispered. Red and blue. "You have to cut one. One wire disarms it, the other triggers it."

"Then how is that the hard part?"

Fenry chuckled.

"Oh Sponge. The wire that disarms the bomb is different in every boat. You're gonna have to guess."

"WHAT?" He said.

"Well I'm not gonna be responsible for killing us both! You're gonna do it." Fenry said.

"Oh hell…" Spongebob trailed off. It didn't really matter much anyway, since he was probably going to die soon anyway due to his illnesses. "Here goes nothing." Spongebob extended his pair of scissors into the compartment. One wire would give life. The other death. Spongebob felt his chest tighten, his body begin to shake, his breathing rise. Even if he was close to death anyway, he was still scared to die.

So scared.

Cut.

Click.

He did it. He disarmed the bomb.

"Nice job Sponge! Let's get the hell outta here. Connect the yellow wire to the green one and give it some gas!" Spongebob gave a thumbs up to Plankton, who was watching them the entire time. He swung a baseball bat at the glass, and it shattered everywhere. Shortly after, Spongebob and Fenry peeled off into the sunset.

"There's just one thing, Fenry."

"What's that?"

"I don't have my license."


Debby gripped the wheel, she was using the biggest of toes on the gas pedal. "Oh my god! Lars gripped the slightly open window of the mercedes boat. He had already thrown up in the back, and Debby was NOT having it.

"THIS IS MY JOB LARS!" Debby roared, her eyes never broke attention from the road. She had made several swerves, trying to not only keep up with Spongebob, but to spin him out.

"Oh no! Not West Speedo Falls!" Lars had only driven there once, but the anxiety was too much for him to visit again.


Spongebob turned left, right into West Speedo Falls. Fenry was glued to the back of his seat, Spongebob didn't know how to drive, let alone lose a cop. They had 5 flashing stars in the top right of their vision, soon the helicopters would come. Fenry's tough exterior took more of a backseat than he was (in the car.) "Sponge- now…" WOOSH ANOTHER LOOP DE LOOP. Spongebob was sweating bourbon profusely as they went 360', tight on the road. West Speedo Falls was known for their erratic ups and downs, but actual loop de loops on the road? This was worse than that substitute that made him crawl on his knees through that course, and then some weird sex stuff. "SPONGEBOb!" Fenry cried. "Take a left here!, and then right at the next speed boost!"


Debby pushed her fin down on the gas pedal as hard as she could, and kept a steady distance behind the perpetrators.

"I wonder who's behind this...can you see who is in that car?" Debby asked Lars, who was vomiting into a motion sickness bag.

"No...I can't." He choked out.

Debby kept a fine control of the car as it sped through all the loop de loops she came across, until there was a barricade in the middle of the road.

"Oh no! Lars, what do I do?" Debby shouted, and she watched Spongebob's boat jump, and fly straight over the barricade.

"Um...let me think! Oh, that's right! Press L3! On the steering wheel!" Debby scanned the steering wheel, which was filled with all sorts of levers, buttons, and even a keyboard. She squinted, hard, and finally found the button she was looking for. L3! She pressed the button, and she felt the boat's wheels push down on the ground, and then up again. Suddenly, she found herself suspended in the air. "Jesus CHRIST!" Lars screamed.

Debby watched as she saw the boat veer off to the left once again, and she sped off towards it.


Spongebob screeched to the left, almost losing control of the car.

"I don't think I can do this!" Spongebob shouted to Fenry, who was almost glued to the seat in absolute terror.

"Into the tunnel!" Fenry shouted, and Spongebob followed. They entered a tunnel, but instead of going down, it slowly started to go up. They were able to see through the tunnel as well, and as time passed they saw that they were higher and higher above the city.

"Dios mio…" Spongebob whispered, trying not to look down.

The tunnel was big and red, and had its twists and turns in every direction that was possible. Spongebob and Fenry found themselves upside down again and again, holding on for dear life. They ran over multiple speed boosters, and it significantly increased the speed of the boat.

"Wait...what's that?" Spongebob said. Shortly up ahead, there were four rotating boxes in the road.

"I don't know, look out!" Spongebob swerved out of the way, just barely missing the boxes in the road. However, Debby managed to hit one of them. Above her boat, a black box appeared and a bunch of items flashed before them almost like a slot machine. The black box finally froze and it showed a red shell inside of it.

Fenry looked behind them. "Sponge, look out! If she throws that red shell and it hits us, we're done for!


Debby grinned at her shell, all she needed now was the perfect opportunity to use it. "Don't throw up on me now Lars!" Lars looked at her, with slight annoyance.

"Please! Just try to drive on softer road!" He screeched, he was in love with her, but in that moment all he wanted was OUT.

"I'm launching the torpedos!" The tunnel was nearing its end, they had been driving almost vertically for over 3 minutes now. Just as they jumped from the tunnel's mouth, she hit the Y button! She slammed down on the steering wheel, launching the shell a bajillion miles per hour.

Mid air, they fell together, the red shell nearing Spongebob's bumper. BOOOOM Spongebob fell in a downward spiral, Debby falling at a much less steep angle.


"FENRY HANG On tight!" Fenry grabbed onto Spongebob, as they landed on Rainbow Road, and another large bOOOOM was heard. The little cloud turtle guy, lakitu, appeared from nowhere. He pulled out his large fishhook and retrieved Spongebob and Fenry's car. Their x3 lives were now down to x2, and Debby was down to a measly x1 life (for no apparent reason). Spongebob had some catching up to do, luckily, he found a nice juicy box up ahead.

"Grab that box! Maybe we can get some mushrooms!" Fenry was excited, his worry faded away as the air cut past their car.

"Really? I was thinking we'd avoid it." Spongebob's sarcasm was dryer than that bourbon! Fenry wasn't a fan though, as he pushed the steering wheel to the left, (with his awfully convenient arms that appear). They collided into the box, but they also slammed directly into the wall. BOOOOOOM, they exploded. x1 life now.

But, just ahead, Spongebob could see the faintest image of black and white checkers past the nearly blinding rainbow road. The finish line. "Fenry, look. We're almost outta here!" Fenry peered onward, and saw the finish line as well.

"Oh, Sponge, if you get us outta here the boss is gonna love you!" But, behind them, Debby pressed another button. A giant flame was shooting out the back of her car, and she was barreling straight towards them. The boat revved, and she inched closer and closer to Spongebob and Fenry.

"Oh no! She's gonna kill us! She's gonna fuckin kill us!" Fenry screamed, and took out his gun. He leaned out the window, and aimed at the boat. "I don't think so, bitch!" Fenry began shooting at Debby's boat, and the dings of the bullets ricocheting echoed through the air.

Just before the finish line, Spongebob was able to hit another item box. The slot began to move, and it eventually landed on a banana.

"She's gonna hit us, throw it!" Fenry commanded, and Spongebob pressed the letter Y harder than he ever thought he would, and the banana shot out the back of the boat, under Debby's front wheel.

She sped out, crashing, and drove right off the side of Rainbow Road.

"She's gone! You got her!" Fenry shouted. "Oh, thank god!" Fenry could not stop hyperventilating while Sponegbob stopped the boat.

"Ready to get back to Bikini Bottom?" Spongebob chuckled.

"I sure am." Fenry replied."

Spongebob started the boat again, and as they drove off into the sunset once more, Spongebob said, "Man, Speedo Falls is a weird place."


Debby and Lars were hurdling faster than that shell from a few pages ago. She tightened her muscles, preparing for impact. Lars's vomit from the back seat thrashed about the car. Debby reached for the x button, the G-force kept pushing her back. This fish had trained though, for many years in the police academy- she was born for this. She grabbed forward at the steering wheel, mashing the X button repeatedly. FLOOOOOOOP. The parachute emerged from the car, like the house in up, they floated to safety. The other Mercedes Boat drove away, leaving them behind in the dust.

As per the rules of West Speedo Falls, they had to leave their vehicle. Forever. "I can't believe you made me lose not 1, but 2 Mercedes boats!" Lars was happy that they stopped, but couldn't contain his rage from the loss of his investment. "Do you know how much these things cost? 1.7 million smackaroos, that's right." He spit on the floor, to get the taste of vomit out of his mouth. "AND 1.7 million smackaroos is like 4 grand, I could've bought so much hair gel!" He stormed around in a circle.

Debby was equally pissed, but not for the same reasons. "Money? Money?! That criminal was able to get away with my new Mercedes Boat! We only have one newest modeled Mercedes Boat, and I need it for police business!" She huffed. Lars was wiping his face clean, and had no shits to give anymore.

"You owe me for the boat you wrecked, or I'm not selling you anymore shamrock keychains!" This time he meant business.

"Ugh, put it on my tab with the rest of the boats I broke. I've got to get walking." Debby sighed. She had a very long walk back to the police station, why she never called an Uber, Lars didn't know.

"Alright toots, I'll see you when I get that next shipment in then." Diffused, he shook his head and started walking in the opposite direction, back towards East Speedo Falls, back away from the sunset.


Debby could not stop thinking about what had just happened...she had been saving for so long for a Mercedes boat...in honor of what she lost...so things could be just like they used to be. However, that was a pipe dream, and Debby just wished she had known that something like that had been as unrealistic as it was. Everything reminded her of Helga. Every single thing. She dragged her feet down the road for six hours, thinking about all that she had lost. And all she could lose. Strangely enough, she felt as if there wasn't much more she could lose. Strange…

Debby arrived at the police station, in the middle of the night. Just in time for her favorite meal. Squid. She greeted all the other officers in her precinct, not that there were many left. The ones that didn't die on the job moved away for a better opportunity. But this town gave her much incentive to stay.

The clanking of the jail cell door sprung Squidward awake from his sleep.

"Hello." Squidward said, monotone. "Where's my lawyer?" He demanded. "I requested him so long ago, and he still hasn't arrived. Nor do I have any word on my verdict!" The jury had been out on Squidward for nearly a day.

Debby shrugged. "The legal system is a mysterious and vast infrastructure." Those words brought Squidward no peace.

"What are you doing here?" He looked at the blank wall. He felt a warm fin on his shoulder.

"I miss you." Debby replied. Squidward pulled away, her response was unexpected.

"Um, excuse me?" He asked. "I'm not interested. I have my eyes on someone else."

"Oh, Helga. Don't play hard to get with me." Debby seductively whispered into Squidward's ear.. Her eyes met his, he could sense her pain. Images of that someone jolted through Debby's mind, flashing images of them from the beginning to the very end. The bloody end.

"Debby, are you okay?" Squidward said. She was biting her lip, squeezing her eyes shut disallowing any tears to flow at that moment.

"No. I don't think I am. You remind me of her. So much of her."

"Who? Who, Debby?"

Officer Debby glanced at Squidward, it was time she told someone. Anyone.

"Summer after high school when we first met...Helga Spaghetti Q. Squid-Ink was her name. It was rare to find a love like I did. We made out in her Mercedes Boat to radiohead. And on my eighteenth birthday we got matching tattoos." Debby choked up. Tears were already beginning to form "We would steal our parents liquor and climb to the roof. We would talk about our future, like we had a clue." Debby was sitting down now, a fin balled up, covering her mouth.

Squidward sat in awe at Debby's rhythmic, almost song-like storytelling.

"Oh Debby…" Squidward whispered. "What happened to her?"

Debby looked up, eyes red with tears, and took a picture of Helga out of her wallet. It was old and yellow, in black and white. The photo had been creased over multiple times, a large dent on the fold line. It had a few coffee rings and tear stains.

"Never thought that one day... that I'd be losing you…she was killed. Murdered. It's why I joined the force. The mafia took her from me. And I swore revenge on this crime ridden town." Debby choked up again. She ended up joining the people that took everything from her. Nothing else paid the bills, and she did what she had to.

She looked at Squidward differently that moment, they both felt it. He had a million thoughts race through his head, about Spongebob, about the world. Her head moved towards his, he thought about pulling back, and ending everything here. The more he thought the more time passed and his lips met hers. The taste of salt met his lips, she wasn't the same as kissing Spongebob… no he was squishier… less fishy. He had felt a spark he hadn't felt in years.

Just then the door flooded open, The Flying Dutchmen stood at the door proudly, he wore a clean black suit. "Am I interrupting anything?" They both shook their heads no. "I heard someone ordered a lawyer."

"Whose lawyer?" Squidward questioned. "Where's Jameson?"

"He's been filled with...other preoccupations." The Flying Dutchman gave an ear to ear smile. "I'll be representing you from here on out, free of charge." He was hired by a mysterious stranger, a change from the boring fish that served Squid before, he didn't argue though, The Dutchman had the reputation of a shark (but not actually). Squidward raised his tentacle. Debby stood up and wiped her uniform clean. "You are?"

She stuck out her finn, "Officer Deborah Pfishburg-Scalington-Chowderpham" He tipped his glasses down at her, and sized her up.

"No, you're actually 'not permitted to speak to my client until the trial ends' " He gestured for her to leave, which she did with a very embarrassed expression. She shut the door behind her, and pressed her hands up to her chest.

"Stockfish syndrome. Sheesh. The DA will be hearing about this. It tugs at a certain...conflict of interest." The Flying Dutchman whispered to himself.

Debby rushed across the building to her office and slammed the door shut. She hadn't done anything like that before. She was vulnerable. She was afraid. She was becoming reckless.

Debby sat down, and looked at her photo of Helga, she traced her fin down the frame.

"In another life I would be your girl...happy birthday, Helga."

The plan would never work if she kept being stupid like this. She could not believe that she would let the story of her and Helga slip. The kiss with Squidward. What the hell happened? Such a mistake could not happen again. Saying too much would be deadly.