Pt. 1 of Valentine's Day Female - Male
General Message: Although we are apprehensive, valentine gift giving is allowed. Feel free to express your love or whatever broken version of love you manage to conjure up as long as you clear it with us first.
Wonder Woman: The fact that you decided to "sit this one out" when a disaster occurred in Australia can't happen again. Thankfully the rest of the league picked up the slack, but being too busy trying to prepare you valentine gift isn't reason to let innocent people die. We also noticed you smeared chocolate all over the walls of the monitor womb spelling out "Love me Batman"
Hawk Woman: Although we're sure Green Lantern will appreciate the your "special abridged version" of the kamasutra and gift coupons referencing certain pages, we don't want to see anything like it again. On another note Wonder Woman wants a copy.
Black Canary: When you said, "I'm the greatest gift he'll ever get" we honestly believed Green Arrow would end up with nothing. Still you brought some apparently hand made chocolate in what we assume will be the most normal gift to come out of the holiday.
Oracle: Bringing Nightwing up to the Watchtower for Valentine's Day to record the "absolute mess" that will inevitably happen isn't a real gift. Batman of course is happy to see you both and is planning to give you footage from the hidden cameras he keeps all throughout the Watchtower for Nightwing's gift.
Catwoman: You can't sneak on board for a quick "Cat nap" with Batman then promise to celebrate for real back in Gotham and expect to sneak out without anyone noticing, if Wonder Woman wasn't so wrapped up she'd probably strangle you.
Talia Al Ghul: Did you follow Catwoman or something? Your reasoning of coming to make another possible heir and strengthen the al Ghul legacy only worked because nobody really knows what to expect from you and having another lovechild wouldn't be the craziest. Don't tell Robin we said that.
Ice: Bringing some frozen chocolate treats is fine, but when you show up asking for Green Lantern, you should make sure you clarify which one and who is on board. Hawk Woman was none to pleased and your excuse of wrong Lantern, didn't fully calm her. Leaving them for Superman because you thought they might go bad was nice. Though they were frozen so were they actually going to go bad?
Hawk Woman: Stealing back your gifts from Green Lantern and giving them to Hawkman because Ice annoyed you, isn't the proper reaction.
Zatanna: We're not sure the backstory, but apparently Constantine was supposed to be your valentine, somehow you ended up in a fight and tried to upset him by flirting with Batman and giving him chocolate. Your explanation that you would've flirted with Nightwing, but you didn't want to hurt Oracle's feelings was nice for your friend, but didn't really please anyone else.
Pt. 2 Valentine Day Female - Male Reactions
Batman: The brown smears on the walls were supposed to say "Love me Batman" from Wonder Woman unfortunately they melted to the point where they were illegible and it just looked like someone defiled the monitor womb, at least the room smells like chocolate now.
Green Lantern: We know you're probably upset that when you tried to cash one of your gift coupons from Hawk Woman they had all disappeared, but you can blame Ice for that. We just hope Hawkman returns them instead of using them and that you don't find him first.
Green Arrow: Apparently Black Canary didn't appreciate it when you asked, "are these explosive" when she gave you a homemade gift. It seems like when someone puts work into something they prefer it be appreciated rather than feared, she took it back and gave it to
NightWing: We can tell you're pleased with Oracle's gift, but promising to, "pay it back in full." Could either be very ominous for the league or just a way of saying you'll do something nice for her, which might still be ominous for the league.
Batman: Sneaking off with Catwoman is so normal that at this point some heroes already think she's part of the league.
Batman: You need to stop making a habit of bringing women on board to join your Bat harem especially villains or non heroes in general. How are you not concerned about this at all?
Superman: The frozen chocolates you found were from Ice, not Batman despite your assumption and his lack of denial. Declaring it was now "Pal-entine's Day" and rushing to create something for Batman as a response really isn't' necessary. Everyone feels uncomfortable about ruining your happiness and Ice already left so it's too late to do anything.
Hawkman: Just give the gift back to Green Lantern of Hawk Woman nobody really wants to deal with a league affair on Valentine's Day.
Constantine: You seemed entirely unaffected by Zatanna's display and only said, "you want to play this game?" We aren't sure what you mean, but please don't sexually harass any of out league members out of spite.
A/N I'll be doing a companion chapter where male league members give gifts to female league members in the same format. It'll be posted not tomorrow, but the day after. If you look in the comics/shows, every couple has it's place. League members tend to get around Batman is particular could have a whole story devoted to it.
Note: The room used to monitor Earth is canonically known as the Crow's nest or The Monitor Womb. I've gotten a few reviews asking the same question so it's a common misconception. Just wanted to let everyone know because I can't respond to reviews sent by guests.
