General Message: You don't get vacation days, least of all for labor day. Plenty of you aren't American anyway, some aren't from Earth at all. Despite this a barbecue is being held and someone had the bright idea of holding it in the Watchtower. At least it hides some of our shame, considering what a mess you're making.

Batman: To make sure everyone in your family could drop by, you spent the last week hunting through Gotham terrifying every villain into calling a truce for the barbecue, with the threat that you'd use them to cook steaks and feed them to more unsavory members of the league. We still aren't sure exactly who you were planning to have eat your enemies, but we're glad they listened.

Wonder Woman: For once you didn't have to dress up in some revealing costume to match the holiday or event because your costume fits an American holiday quite well and is very revealing on its own.

Superman: Just because Batman made an offhand comment on how slow you were in cooking hamburgers does not mean you needed to absolutely burn the meat with your heat vision. The league was left with dozens of slices of charred meat between buns, which nobody was comfortable eating. However they felt obligated when Batman picked one up and started eating it, the crunching was almost deafening in the quiet room where everyone waited for a reaction. With a completely straight face he said , "It could have used ketchup. Eat up everyone." The rest of the league gagged their way through their own personal lumps of coal.

Green Lantern: Thankfully there was plenty of food left over to cook and you actually know how to work a grill so normal food was being made, unfortunately the production of smoke in an enclosed space wasn't a great idea. The room the party was being held in slowly filled with smoke Batman is the only hero paranoid enough to carry a gas mask so he was okay, but many of the other heroes were coughing and stumbling around forced to choke and be blinded until there is some way to clear the air.

Flash: Opening the airlock to clear out the smoke was an inspired idea, what it was inspired by we don't want to know. All we do know is that people were nearly dragged into space and killed. Thankfully someone managed to close it before much serious damage could be done. This isn't a house where you can just open windows, think before you act.

Martian Manhunter: We're sorry you don't have a Martian equivalent to the holiday that we shouldn't really be celebrating, but you don't need to spend your time doing research on the traditions that come with the holiday or read click bait articles about, "throw the perfect BBQ."

Constantine: You showed up with just about your body weight in alcohol, which normally would be frowned upon. Considering how uncomfortable some of the heroes seem, alcohol might be a good option for them.

Captain Marvel: Batman has officially banned you from touching any alcohol though he made sure to get you a hot dog that hasn't met the wrath of Superman. What usually happens when you drink that's so bad, Batman feels it necessary to set a ban?

Cyborg: We're not sure what playlist you have set up for your speakers, but the only things playing are from Disney television movies and they aren't going over too well with the crowd.

Aquaman: Fish can't get drunk so dumping a bottle of rum into one of your tanks does nothing except hurt the sea life. Also you seem much more prone to emotional outbursts when inebriated, you started crying when someone suggested making fish tacos. Though you might have cried normally so we can't be sure that was thanks to the alcohol, luckily for you the scene you made was so dramatic fish tacos were taken off the menu.

Bat family: You showed up just long enough to smuggle Batman out to go to a, "real family barbecue", with Captain Marvel tagging along. The drunk heroes didn't notice until they realized nobody was glaring or yelling at them. A fiasco started once Green Arrow declared himself the new Batman and decided at he was in charge, his reign didn't last long.

Green Arrow: Your trip to the hospital wing was to be expected when you tried to order Superman around calling yourself, "Green Batman." Superman was so offended on Batman's behalf that he punched you across the room directly to Wonder Woman who sent you flying right back for tarnishing her lovers good name. How anyone could say he has a good name is beyond us, but we doubt you'll remember any of this with the head trauma you've likely sustained.

General Message: All events should be held outdoors, on an actual planet with some form of supervision or protection, who you'll actually allow to supervise you we can't imagine. Like most things you take part of the barbecue was a resounding failure, the only positive is that you didn't incur any major damages, aside from, "Green Batman." and frankly anyone drunk enough to try that deserves a punch or two.


A/N

Two weeks in a row, who is this timely uploader? I should have one for next week as well so look forward to that.

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think or any ideas you have, I do try to get to them in if I can and I always give credit.