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Chapter 27: As I Please


Rin's eyelids lifted slowly as the rise and fall of inflections and familiar voices finally began to separate and register into coherent sentences. She had lost herself to a moment, as she had for the last five days or so. The lack of sleep only aided in her far-off dazes, alongside the constant replay that night.

"Rin," Kikyo-sama called her back from the wells of her mind. Kikyo's all-knowing eyes were soft, gentle, and surreptitiously prodding. "Please, you must concentrate."

"Yes, Kikyo-sama," Rin said in such a way as to avoid a prolonged commitment to the order. She was tired. Tired of listening to everyone; tired of obeying everyone. The only thing that somehow wasn't tiring was the continual recounting of Sesshoumaru-sama's touch along every inch of her once-bare skin. Her cheeks flushed every time she thought about it. Rin wanted to see him again, and that thought made her bite her cheek, angrily. Maybe, hopefully, she only wanted to see him so she could use him for the immense pleasure and the surreal escape from reality that only his body could provide. This lessened her annoyance, as it made her feel like she had some say, some advantage, in unwillingly selling herself off as the fattest calf in Kodachi's herd.

Rin found herself liking the thought of using him again, so that she might try to fill the ever-widening cracks in her soul, sustained by constant abuse.

But deep down, she knew. She knew that Sesshoumaru-sama could never be just a means to a pleasurable end for her; he could never be a mere sexual conquest to add to an intended list... even if that was all she was to him.

Her gaze lowered to the floor as Kikyo, Izayoi, and the housemothers continued to ramble on about the newly acquired sum of money, as well as their plans for the new Geisha's career once her ankle had healed. Slowly, their voices retracted back to blurred inflections that merely stilted the base of Rin's ears.

She couldn't concentrate, and her broken innocence couldn't give a damn.

"Please," Rin interrupted, causing a strident silence to befall the group of ambitious women, "I would like to go to the field just outside of town. I need... I need to be alone."

Urasue-sama slammed her hands upon the rich, cherry-wood table, vibrating the fine teacups engraved with wondrous swirls of brass and cerulean-dyed flowers. They chimed, warning of their potential shatter as the housemother boomed, "Do you take us to be fools?! Let you outside of the house after what you-"

"Urasue," Kaede instantly silenced her colleague with a demeaning tone. Rin's expression never changed; her postured form never flinching as Kaede looked her over and decided. "With that as a detriment-" the old woman nodded toward Rin's ankle, "-she wouldn't get far even if she tried to run away. Let her go."

Rin's frosty stare slowly trailed upward, her eyebrows knitting together; closer and closer the more her internal anger grew. Whether her attachment to Sesshoumaru-sama had come by nature, by instincts, or by her own weakness, she did not know. But what she did know was that it had come to fruition by way of painful obligation. Obligation that these women had forced upon her. It took everything in her to not spit at her housemother's feet as she raised herself up to hobble out of the room, disallowing the kneeling servant to close the papered door so that she might slam it shut, rattling the horrified teacups once more.

Kikyo and Izayoi shared sidelong and understanding glances before they revisited the previous topics, trying to talk the housemothers into excusing Rin for her trespasses. If only for her ability to tame the upcoming heir of the Western Lands.


He watched as she left the worn establishment, her already pitiful stride obstructed even more by a bandaged and lame foot. The vulnerability pulsating from her limping form caused his body to revisit the exciting scouring of it just days before. Sesshoumaru smirked as he re-imagined her tight and unused womanhood, succumbing to his girth with gargles and screams as he dominated her; the very evidence of his claim lodged deep inside her core, and undoubtedly, in her fragile human heart. Pride and ownership branded his face until he was forced to glean her expression.

His mouth tightened to a thin and crisp line as he studied. Rin, far below, and unaware of his presence in the rustling treetops, held the look of absolute absence. Like she couldn't be bothered to breathe, let alone make her way stumbling down a barren pathway at such early hours of the morning.

Now his vision filled with intent consideration. Suicide, perhaps? He thought, as he weighed his knowledge of the natural human responses to apathy or bouts of depression.

His fiery orbs softened to smolders as they followed her sullen form, the reason: unknown. He inhaled deeply the scent of her natural lavender as he assessed himself, yet again. His expression had lightened for the same unknown reason that led him to keep an eye on Rin since that night, he suspected, given that his father was now appeased by his actions up until this point. The Western Lands were his. After the mizuage ceremony, his father had finally relented them to him. From now on, he was free to do as he pleased... with anything.

And yet still, he was here, merely watching this mortal woman with the intrigue of a meandering puppy. At this moment, he couldn't be bothered to carve explanations around his own reasons for not acting. Something about Rin, in this state, levied him to hear her voice; to understand her plight before he ultimately decided what to do with her.

He leaped from his position in the tall pine and made landing with a rush of wind in the center of the field... where she had finally sat down to rest.

She looked up at him with unfamiliar and penetrating eyes. Eyes that were not that of a hopeless martyr, but of one unafraid to shed everything that he had done to wrong her over the last few months... over that one, long night. This fragile and vulnerable human held the stare of a rebirthed vengeance that he couldn't be made to pity. Undoubtedly, she would curse him for his primal instincts, for his feral uses of her body, nights ago. And he would relish it. He would make himself drink in her pain as he always had with is previous victims. Yes, at the end of the day, Rin was no different than the rest that he had claimed and those who had out-served their purpose. It was time to put an end to his weakness.

He looked down upon her with a smug look of indifference, one that was well-suited and well-worn. Sesshoumaru watched as Rin methodically opened up her mouth, processing something heavy upon her tongue.

"Get me out of here," she huffed so low that Sesshoumaru knew it was intended for his keen ear. But in spite of his hearing he asked, "What?"

"I know you heard me," she dared say, although less crass as she drooped her head, helpless. His eyes widened. He could smell the salt streaming across her eyelids as she said, "Get me out of here. Out of this life. Please. I know you can."

Sesshoumaru stood over her, his eyes and ears peeled for her overflowing submissiveness. How interesting. Was she begging him to kill her? She couldn't possibly. There were much simpler and less painful methods for that.

"Why should I?" Cruelly, he asked, indulging in the moment. "My father has already given me what I want. Your life is no longer a concern of mine."

Maybe, he just wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to hear her admit that he was her one and only savior. Not Kohaku. Not death, even. But him. And then he would prove to himself that he no longer wanted her. That he no longer needed her to be walking this earth.

Her honeyed eyes found his again and their transparency struck a chord within his blackened heart. Her words flowed like a special kind of poison as she admitted, "...Because I trust you."

His brow twitched as bitter amusement descended into trite and unexpected annoyance. Sesshoumaru tilted his head slightly, wanting nothing more than to make this woman, and this woman alone, understand how pathetic she was with all of her naivete, in comparison to a daiyoukai like him. It was infuriating how her boldness melded with her fragility. Like the clear-cut ice in winter awaiting one misstep of unsuspecting weight; strangely enticing, yet horrifyingly lethal.

He smirked as he stepped forward. "What a pitiful mistake."


Hello everyone! I'm baaaaaack. :D At least for this chapter! In four days I get my novel back from the editor and then? MORE EDITS. But I really wanted to write this story today. So here I am! Hope you all like. Looking forward to your reviews and 3

Sooooo my novel is done and I'm currently seeking out literary agents. But it's super hard in todays market. Oh well, I can still write for my favorite fans! Love yall!