A/N: Part 1 is rated M for language, violence, death, and mild sexual content. Because it takes place in a parallel universe, many canon events will be changed. And yes, Harry still exists (he'll just have a different mother:) Things are going to be dark for a while, but please stick with me. I promise plenty of happiness in Part 2!


PART ONE: WAR


-1-

Confessions

December 1979

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

James and Ivy Potter were married at a quaint chapel in the village of Godric's Hollow on December the ninth. The ceremony was a small one on account of the bride and groom having no extended family to invite. It was also heavily protected. Auror guards were stationed outside and warding spells had been cast on the entire street to prevent anyone from Apparating. The wedding hadn't been announced in The Daily Prophet, but they were erring on the side of caution anyway. No one wanted to risk a Death Eater ambush.

After the vows were exchanged, the guests headed over to the assembly hall. The ballroom was decorated for the Christmas season. Evergreen trees sparkled with lights and shiny baubles, sprigs of mistletoe hung from the crystal chandeliers, and garlands of holly and ivy decorated the tables. Even the wedding party wore festive colors: green dresses for Lily, Marlene, and Ivy's friend, Susie; red waistcoats for Remus, Sirius, and Peter.

As best man, Sirius was seated at the head table with the bride and groom. He stood up to give the traditional speech.

"As most of you know, James Potter has been my best mate since we were first years. We've been through everything together, including the worst kind of tragedy. I'd like to take a moment to honor the memories of James and Ivy's parents, who were murdered by Death Eaters last Spring." He held up his glass. "To Charlus and Dorea Potter, and Harry and Emma Bishop: you will never be forgotten."

Everyone raised their glasses solemnly.

"But as sad as that event was, something remarkable came from it," Sirius continued. "Their children met each other and fell in love. Their union today shows us that hatred and prejudice will never win. So please join me in a toast to the happy couple. To James and Ivy! Cheers!"

"To James and Ivy," the guests chorused, downing their champagne.

Lunch was followed by dancing. The first song turned out to be 'She's Got a Way' by Billy Joel. The bride and groom held hands as they walked onto the dance floor. Ivy looked beautiful in a voluminous white dress with sheer lace sleeves. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled back in an elaborate bun and embellished with red roses.

Remus leaned towards Lily. "Would you care to dance, Mrs. Lupin?"

"I'd love to," she replied, smiling.

The last time they had danced together was at the Auror's Ball last New Year's Eve. There wouldn't be one this year, but the Order of the Phoenix was having a party at a location protected by the Fidelius charm. It would give everyone a reason to loosen up and enjoy themselves for once. Merlin knew they deserved it after such a nerve-wracking year.

The Lupins remained on the dance floor for the next song as well. Lily spotted Marlene and Sirius nearby. He was grinning at the tall blonde – probably cracking some sort of inappropriate joke. Marlene was trying not to laugh, but it was obvious from her expression that she was amused despite herself. Lily knew that Severus would be seething if he could see them now. She even felt mildly upset on his behalf when Sirius stole a kiss under the mistletoe.

"What's the matter?" Remus asked, following her line of sight.

"Sirius just kissed Lena. She smacked his arm though."

"Ah. Well it's all part of the act. I mean James doesn't even know the truth. He thinks Padfoot is actually a father."

"I know, but he plays up the public affection a little too much if you ask me," Lily said in a tone of disapproval.

"That's Sirius for you. He never passes up the chance to flirt with a pretty girl – even when said girl is already in a relationship and a mother to boot."

She thought of Silas McKinnon Snape, who had been born on October the 12th. He was an adorable baby with curly brown hair and a calm disposition. Silas hadn't come to the wedding, but Lily and Remus would be seeing him on the following Sunday for Marlene's housewarming party. Her and Sirius were now renting a cottage a few miles from Hogsmeade.

Remus rested his chin on the top of her head. "Don't let Sirius get to you. He won't make a move on her when they're alone. Marlene would hex him for sure."

"I know. I'm just feeling sad for Sev. He misses out on so much, and I know it bothers him that Sirius is raising his child."

"Yeah, it isn't fair. I have no idea how he handles it."

She looked up at him. "Sorry for being so gloomy. I'll shut up now."

Remus gave her a little smile. "I might be able to help you with that." And then he leaned down and stopped her mouth with a kiss. It turned out to be the best solution.

To Lily's delight (and Remus's horror) the next song was 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. Sirius came towards them – doing that ridiculous disco finger. Remus made a beeline back to the table, but Sirius grabbed her hand and spun her across the floor. "You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life, ooh, see that girl, watch that scene, digging the dancing queen," he crooned. Lily hadn't laughed so much in ages. Sirius even dipped her a few times.

"You're pretty light on your feet, Vix," he said with a roguish grin. "How 'bout you dance all the fast songs with me?"

"Maybe not all of them."

Sirius gave her an exaggerated pout. "Please? You're the only one who can keep up with me."

"Let me go to the loo first. Then we'll see."

"Fair enough. Hurry up and pee."

Lily laughed. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be right back."

Ivy was in the restroom, reapplying a pretty shade of pink lipstick. She smiled warmly at the bride. "Hello, Mrs. Potter! I haven't congratulated you yet," Lily said, kissing the girl's freckled cheek.

Ivy returned her smile. "Hearing you say my married name is a bit surreal. I wonder if I'll ever get used to it."

"You will. So how are you feeling? No nausea I hope?" Ivy Potter was over a month pregnant and Lily had given her a potion to help with morning sickness.

"None, thanks to you. James is going to teach me how to brew it myself." Her blue-green eyes lit up. "I'm glad Potions is a branch of magic that I'll be able to learn. It's a bit exciting actually."

"It really is. And if you ever need any tips from a professor, just let me know."

"I will. Thank you, Lily. You've always made me feel included and I want you to know how much it means to me."

She squeezed the younger girl's hand. "Of course. Coming into a magical world can be overwhelming, but you've handled it really well considering how hostile everything is right now."

"I know there's a group of people who hate my kind, but I truly love the wizarding world. I'm happy that my child will be a part of it."

Lily gave her a hug. Ivy had suffered a great tragedy, yet she still managed to be such a sweet and hopeful girl. Lily wanted to keep her safe from all the hatred swirling around them.

*.*.*

As the hours went by, Remus noticed that Peter was becoming far too intoxicated. He decided to bring him home before things got out of control. They walked – or in Peter's case, stumbled –

down the street, past the magical barrier. Remus took him by side-along Apparition.

"Is your mum in?" he asked as they stood outside the door.

"No. She's visiting a friend today. You can open it."

"Don't you have any protective charms?"

"No point in that. I'm not an Auror like you," he slurred.

"That doesn't matter. You should still have some wards in place." Remus used Alohamora to open the door. "What's gotten into you anyway? It's not like you to get so pissed."

"Had to get through the day somehow."

Remus helped him into an armchair. "What do you mean?"

"Ivy isn't good enough for James. She got pregnant and trapped him into marriage."

"C'mon, you don't actually believe that. It's just the drink talking."

"No, it's how I feel." Peter covered his face with his hands. "James'll never have time for me now."

"That isn't true."

"Yes, it bloody well is!" he bellowed before breaking down into messy sobs.

Remus placed a hand on his shaking back. He didn't understand this reaction. Sure, Peter had always been sulky when James spent time with other people, but this seemed to go beyond that.

His friend spoke again a minute later. "James has always been my best mate even though I've never been his. That didn't matter to me though. I loved him anyway," he said, voice cracking. "But it's all over now. I've lost him to that Muggle!"

Remus knew he shouldn't be hearing this confession. "Is that why you dislike Ivy? Because she's a Muggle?"

Peter wiped at his blotchy face. "No. I'd hate anyone he was with."

Godric's sword, he's in love with him! It all made sense now… Peter's disinterest in girls, his blind hero worship of James, his jealousy when he started dating Ivy. Remus felt like an idiot for not realizing it before.

"I'm really sorry, mate."

"It's fine, Moony. I don't need you to comfort me. Can you please leave? I'd rather be alone."

Remus shook his head. "That's not a good idea."

"Why? You think I'm gonna kill myself? Because I'm too much of a coward."

"You're not a coward; you showed up at the wedding. You sat there and watched him marry someone else. That's brave to me. I wouldn't have been able to do that."

"No, if I were brave, I'd have told him how I felt. I wouldn't have gone today even if it meant never seeing him again. I'm a worthless coward!"

Remus sat in the armchair opposite him. "Listen to me for a minute. Going to that church today was a noble thing to do. By not telling him, you've proven to me that you care about James's happiness. You didn't want to hurt him, and I truly respect that. You're a good person, Pete."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew all the horrible things I've thought!"

"It's fine as long as you don't act upon them," he replied patiently. "Tell me what I can do to help you through this."

Peter's bloodshot eyes met his. "Obliviate me. If you take away my memories of James, I won't be in pain anymore."

"You know I can't do that. It's too dangerous."

"If you don't, then I will."

Peter was reaching for his wand and Remus had no choice but to stupefy him. He slumped back in his chair, unconscious.

"What the fuck Pete?!" His heart was beating out of control. He exhaled slowly, running a hand through his shaggy hair. Shit, that was close… he might have permanently damaged his mind if I hadn't stopped him. Remus used 'Wingardium Leviosa' to transport his friend onto the sofa. "I hope to god you don't remember any of this when you wake up."

As he left the Pettigrew house, Remus felt shaken to his core. He doubted that Peter would get over such a painful heartbreak, but was memory modification really the answer? Remus didn't think so. James was tied up in every aspect of Peter's school life. Removing him would alter his perceptions of the world – it would fundamentally change him as a person. And that crossed a moral line for Remus. Not everything could be solved using magic. Sometimes it only made things worse.

*.*.*

Tears filled Severus's eyes as he cradled his son. Becoming a father had turned him into a right soppy mess, but it was one of the best feelings. "I love you, Silas. Your papa misses you every minute of the day." The baby reached up, grasping at a long strand of his hair.

Marlene walked towards them, smiling. "I love seeing my boys together." She bent to kiss their son's chubby cheek. Then she straightened and gave him a peck on the lips. "Why don't you feed Silas?"

Once Severus had positioned himself in the rocking chair, Marlene handed him a bottle. He stared down at Silas while he ate, memorizing every detail… the way his brows drew together in concentration, the dark hair that curled against his forehead, the dimples in his tiny pink fist. Silas's light brown eyes began to close ever so slowly. And within seconds, he was asleep.

Marlene took the bottle away. "I'll be in the kitchen," she whispered, dimming the lights.

Severus continued to rock him for a few minutes longer. Silas looked more like his mother: they had the same button nose and pouty bottom lip, but the shape of the ears and the pensive line of the eyebrows were exactly like his own. He lowered their son gently into the crib and covered him with a knitted blanket.

Marlene was standing with her back to him, preparing dinner. She had pulled her blonde curls into a bun to keep it out of the way. He came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and brushed his lips against the nape of her neck. She gave a little hum of pleasure.

"How was the wedding?"

"Very nice, but I missed dancing with you."

"We could dance now if you'd like," he said softly.

Marlene turned to face him. "I would, Sev. I'll put on our record."

They went into the living room. A Christmas tree topped with a glowing star stood in the corner. He felt a pang of resentment when he saw Sirius's stocking hanging where his should be. Of course he resented it, but he was also indebted to Black for protecting his family.

'Dream a Little Dream of Me' by The Mamas & The Papas started playing. Severus drew Marlene close. She smelled of citrus and honeysuckle. Her perfume brought him back to their carefree summer days. Would it ever be that way again? Or would the darkness of the war remain for years to come?

"The food won't be ready for half an hour," Marlene told him when the song ended. "That gives us enough time for a cuddle." Severus smiled as she pulled him towards the couch. He lay down first and Marlene stretched out across his body, resting her head over his heart.

"Tell me something good that happened to you this week," he said, rubbing her back.

"I got a free meal at The Three Broomsticks."

He chuckled. "What did you eat?"

"A sausage roll and a bowl of barley soup. And after work, I stopped at Madame Puddifoot's for a cream bun."

His stomach gave a hungry gurgle. "Ahhh, that's not fair. I haven't been to Hogsmeade in ages."

"Let's go together next Saturday. We'll get some food and do our Christmas shopping."

Severus sighed. "Lena, you're not making this any easier."

She lifted her head to look at him. "You always have a batch of Polyjuice, right? I'll nick a few hairs from Sirius."

A smile spread across his face. "That's a brilliant idea, Miss McKinnon."

Marlene grinned at him. "I know. You won't look like yourself, but at least we'll be able to go out as a family."

"I'm looking forward to it."

She settled back on his chest. "Your turn. Tell me something good that happened to you."

"Hmm… well, I think I'm getting close with the Veritaserum antidote," he replied. "I should have it figured out soon."

They continued to share stories about their week. His stomach rumbled again when he caught a whiff of lasagna. Marlene laughed. "I felt that! It'll be ready soon. Let's get up and set the table."

He loved these moments of domesticity. Growing up, dinner had always been his most dreaded time of the day because it meant eating a meal with his father. Severus used to scarf down his food and disappear upstairs for the rest of the night. Staying out of his father's way meant that he wouldn't get yelled at. The McKinnons had shown him what a real family dinner was like. He missed sitting around a table with them, listening to their happy banter. Food always tasted better when you were with people you loved.

Severus used the oven mitts to get the casserole out of the oven. He cut the pasta dish into squares and deposited two on each plate. There was also salad and a loaf of bread to go along with it. He ate slowly – savoring the food – and the company.

"Lena, I need you to pass on a message for me," he said, using a piece of bread to sop up the marinara sauce. "Tell Black that Regulus's loyalty to the Dark Lord is wavering. I'm afraid he's going to do something foolish and get himself killed."

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think that? Have you done Legilimency on him?"

He chewed his bite of food before answering. "I tried to, but I can't break through. Which is a good thing because it means that no one else can either. He's been distracted though – not as keen on his duties, and he's let his appearance go. I know what a mind in turmoil looks like. Black might be the only person who can help him."

"But they haven't spoken since Sirius graduated. His family disinherited him, so how will he arrange a meeting?"

"He could send Regulus an owl saying that he needs to pick up some things from his old room. Maybe ask him to get his parents out of the house for a few hours. He'll need to get him to open up somehow."

Marlene chewed on her bottom lip. "What about Veritaserum?"

"I have some I can give him, but he should only use it as a last resort. Because if I'm right, Regulus is in trouble, and it won't take much for him to confess of his own free will."

"Okay. I'll tell Sirius when he gets back tomorrow afternoon."

Once they finished washing the dishes, Marlene led him into the bedroom. They sat down and began to undress. Severus glanced at his bandaged forearm. He always kept the Dark Mark covered whenever he came over.

Marlene's fingers touched the white gauze. "Could you take it off? I'd like to see it."

He did as she asked, feeling shame bubble up inside him when he saw the hateful image. She ran her fingers over the tattoo. And then Marlene did something he never expected: she pressed those pure lips of hers to the filthy mark. He was horrified and moved at the same time.

"Lena, what are you doing?" he asked in a voice thick with emotion.

She met his gaze. "I know you're ashamed of this, but all it shows me is your bravery and sacrifice. Having this branded on you wasn't your choice. You don't believe in what this represents. Never forget that."

For the second time that day, tears came into his eyes. She wiped them away before drawing him down with her. Being away from Marlene had taught him to treasure every moment they spent together. That's why Severus never rushed their lovemaking. He wanted to prolong their connection for as long as possible.

They lay entwined afterwards; hearts throbbing in the same rhythm. His head was pillowed on her breast and she was stroking his hair. "I love you, Lena," he murmured.

"I love you too, mo chridhe."

The term of endearment made him smile. He thought of the Gaelic lullaby that she sang to Silas sometimes… how beautiful it sounded in her lilting soprano voice. But instead of a song, it was the sound of Marlene's heartbeat that sent him to sleep.

The elderly Muggle screamed in agony as Severus used the Cruciatus Curse on him. He could taste the bile rising in his throat, but he couldn't get sick in front of them – he had to prove that he wasn't weak. Why am I doing this? I don't have to listen to them anymore! Severus turned his wand on Lord Voldemort instead. A Death Eater tackled him to the ground and ripped the wand from his hand. "You dirty blood traitor! You'll die for this." Lord Voldemort loomed over him; his inhuman face twisted in fury as he uttered the killing curse. The last image Severus saw was a jet of green light speeding towards him.

He awoke gasping for air. Severus had this nightmare a few times a week, but it was the first time where he'd fought back. When he noticed that Marlene wasn't beside him, he started to panic. "Lena, where are you? he shouted, pulling on a T-shirt and boxer shorts. Severus stumbled out of the room, using 'Lumos' to navigate his way to the nursery. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the distinct rise and fall of his son's chest. Severus went back into the hallway. The bathroom door was closed. He tapped on it softly. "Lena? Are you in there?"

"Yes," she replied. "Just a minute."

Severus leaned back against the wall. His heart was still racing. Calm down… everything is fine. He heard the toilet flush, followed by the watery snick of the taps being turned on. The door opened a moment later and Marlene emerged wearing a pale pink nightie.

"Sev, what's the matter? You're pale as a ghost."

"I had a nightmare and you weren't there, and I thought… well, I'm not sure what I thought, but I was worried."

"Oh, sweetheart." Marlene wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm sorry for being so pathetic," he murmured into her thick mane of hair.

"Shh, you are not. I have nightmares too." She rubbed his back. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He did, but Severus hadn't told her about the Cruciatus curse before. The burden was becoming too heavy to bear though. He wanted so much to confess. She must have sensed his turmoil because she said, "You can tell me anything. I promise not to judge you."

He exhaled slowly. "When I joined the Death Eaters, I had to torture an old Muggle man. It still haunts me, Lena. I can't forgive myself for doing it. I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid that you'd never be able to see me the same way again."

His heart faltered when Marlene let go of him. She hates me… she doesn't even want to touch me. Then he felt her smooth hands on his face. "Sev, look at me." He raised his eyes to meet hers. "This doesn't change how I feel about you. I knew going into this that you'd have to do some terrible things, but none of this is your choice. The fact that you've been suffering for over a year is penance enough. If you can't forgive yourself, then perhaps it's time to ask Dumbledore to remove that memory from your mind."

Severus shook his head. "I caused someone else pain. I have an obligation to remember what I did. Taking the easy way out wouldn't be right."

Marlene smiled at him. "You should have been a Gryffindor."

"I wish I had been because we'd be married right now and I wouldn't be a filthy Death Eater," he said bitterly.

"Yes, but the Order would be a lot weaker without you. You're giving us a chance to win, Sev. You've already saved lives. That's what's important."

"I know." For better or worse, this was the path he was on. All Severus could do was help to end this war.

*.*.*

Sirius stood outside Number 12 Grimmauld Place. After he'd left the family four years ago, he'd sworn never to enter it again. Yet here he was… about to go back on that promise because of his stupid little brother, who was apparently in over his head.

"Well of course he's in over his fucking head," Sirius said when Marlene had passed on Snape's message. "Am I supposed to feel sorry for him? Because I'm pretty low on sympathy for bigoted scum at the moment."

"You know bloody well that Regulus didn't have a choice! Get off your high horse and be a responsible older brother for once in your goddamn life," Marlene shouted. "Because if you don't help him, he's going to end up dead! Do you really want that on your conscience?"

Sirius glared at her. "If my brother dies, it will be entirely his own fault! You don't know anything about our family dynamics. Perfect little Regulus would never confide in me, let alone admit to being wrong about something."

"You're remembering him from years ago, Sirius. He's not that boy anymore. If you don't want to do it for him, then do it for the Order. Regulus might have important information that could benefit us."

So Sirius gave in – he put aside his pride and wrote to his brother. He hadn't expected to get a reply, yet an owl had arrived on the following day telling him when to come over.

Thunder rumbled overhead. Sirius leaned against the iron railing and lit a cigarette. It might be a bad Muggle habit, but nothing could settle his nerves quite like a shot of nicotine. His hand stopped shaking after a few drags. Sirius exhaled the smoke, tossed down the cigarette, and used the toe of his boot to stub it out. You can handle this, he told himself as he climbed the brick steps. Sirius lifted the serpent knocker and brought it down sharply. Kreacher the house elf opened the door.

"Ah, the wayward Master has finally returned," he said in his deep, bullfrog voice. "My Mistress would not approve, but young Master Regulus told Kreacher to admit him, and Kreacher does as he is bid." The house elf bowed respectfully and stepped aside.

"Where's Regulus?"

"Young Master is in the library. Shall Kreacher take you to him?"

He rolled his eyes. "That isn't necessary. I know I haven't been here in a while, but I can still remember where the library is."

"As you wish, Master. Kreacher will be out here dusting."

Sirius walked down the long, gaslit hallway. He tried to ignore the portraits of his ancestors, but when he heard himself called a 'blood traitor' and an 'ungrateful swine,' he lost his temper. "Oh, shut up, you inbred bigots," he snapped.

There were several loud gasps of indignation. "You cur! How dare you insult the ancient and most noble house of Black," a man admonished, shaking his fist.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and continued on his way. A towering Christmas tree stood in the grand foyer; its candles glinting off the enchanted icicles and expensive baubles. His mother didn't particularly care for the holidays, but she never missed an opportunity to flaunt their wealth.

He opened the library door without knocking. Regulus looked up from his book. "Hello, brother. You still know how to make an entrance I see."

Sirius plopped down beside him. "Merlin's teeth, this sofa is bloody uncomfortable," he declared, propping up his boots on the coffee table.

Regulus wrinkled his aristocratic nose. "You smell like a Muggle pub."

"How do you know what a Muggle pub smells like? I thought you avoided such establishments on principle."

"I do, but I'm not that sheltered. I know what a cigarette is." Regulus surveyed his long hair, motorcycle jacket, and black jeans. "You look ridiculous. It's a good thing our parents aren't here to see you in that get-up."

Sirius grinned at him viciously. "You're looking rather sloppy yourself, Reggie. What's the matter? Is jolly ole Voldemort not treating you kindly anymore? Or perhaps you've lost your taste for murder and torture."

The color drained from his face, making the dark circles stand out starkly. Regulus's normally tidy hair now fell past his ears in a wavy tangle. He'd always been thin, but the sharp cheekbones and haunted look hadn't been there before. Perhaps Snape was right about him being in trouble.

"You shouldn't joke about it so flippantly. And for the love of Salazar, don't speak his name," he hissed. "If you only came here to harass me, then I suggest you go up to your room and be on your way."

Sirius held up his hands in mock surrender. "Okay. Sorry to offend, little brother. I guess you forgot about my biting sense of humor."

A muscle twitched in his jaw. "I haven't. I just don't find it very amusing."

"Fair enough. I won't bother you anymore." And with that, Sirius strode out of the library. He'd intentionally insulted Regulus. It's all going according to plan, he thought, taking the stairs two at a time. Sirius shuddered as he passed by the shrunken elf heads. I hate being back in this house…

The oppressive atmosphere lifted when he entered his old bedroom. Gryffindor banners and pennants hung beside pinups of scantily clad Muggle girls and shiny motorcycles. He grinned. So dear old mum couldn't remove them after all! Sirius flopped back on his red duvet. A poster of a buxom blonde wearing a bikini smiled down at him from the ceiling. "Hey sweetheart, did you miss me?"

Sirius lay there for a minute, listening to the rain. It was really coming down now – lashing at the windows. A shiver passed through him. There was no heat in the room, but he didn't see the point of starting a fire. He wouldn't be in here for long. Sirius got up and went over to the bookcase. All the Muggle titles were long gone, but he shoved a few magical texts into a beat-up school satchel. Then he pulled a tiny bottle from the pocket of his leather jacket. Sirius restored the firewhisky to its original size. Here's hoping that Reggie still can't hold his liquor…

*.*.*

Regulus couldn't focus on his book. Seeing Sirius again had reopened too many old wounds. He still couldn't forgive his brother for running away. That single act of defiance had upended his life completely. Before that, Regulus had been content with their sibling rivalry. He enjoyed being the golden boy to his brother's black sheep. But the fun had stopped after Sirius's banishment. That's when he learned the difference between being the second son and being the heir of a pureblood dynasty. The expectations were strangling him, and Regulus wasn't going to take it anymore. His ignorant parents had no idea what being a Death Eater was like… they just lived in their safe little bubble, throwing vapid parties and spewing pureblood ideals to "support the cause." Regulus hated himself for ever believing in them.

A sharp knock at the door pulled him out of his dark thoughts. "Come in!"

Sirius entered the library. "Care to have a drink with me, little brother? I found this bottle of Ogden's stashed away in my room. Think of it as a peace offering."

Regulus narrowed his eyes. "What have you done to it?"

"Nothing, Mr. Paranoid. Here, I'll drink first and prove that it's fine." Sirius sat in one of the green armchairs near the fireplace. He summoned two shot glasses from the bar and poured out a generous helping. "Cheers," Sirius said, tossing it back. "Come on, Reg – your turn."

He wasn't sure why, but he found himself wanting to join him. Regulus sat down in the remaining chair and took a tentative sip, feeling the strong liquid burn his throat.

"It's better to drink it in one go if you're nervous."

Regulus scowled. "I'm not nervous." He proved it by downing the rest.

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "Well done! You couldn't tolerate the stuff when we were younger. I'm glad to see you've grown out of it."

He hadn't in fact, but he'd never admit it to Sirius. His pride got the better of him and he suggested a drinking game.

"Hmm, you sure about that?"

"I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't," he replied in a sarcastic tone.

"Okay, but I'd like to add another rule. We have to confess something after every shot."

"Fine," Regulus agreed. "Let's do this."

They drank their second glass.

"I've been with two girls at the same time," his brother admitted, a grin spreading across his arrogantly handsome face.

He stared at him in disgust. "You're repulsive."

Sirius laughed. "Is that your confession?"

"Yeah, it is." Regulus wanted to say more, but he'd save it for later. A courageous warmth snaked through his body as he swallowed the third. For the first time in a year, he wasn't cold or numb. For the first time in his life, he wanted to be honest.

"Okay, I'll tell you something with more depth this time." Sirius met his gaze. "I regret how things are between us. We used to get along when we were kids, but then I got sorted into Gryffindor and we became enemies. I wish it hadn't turned out that way."

"It wouldn't have if you'd been the son our parents wanted! Your rebellion meant that I could never mess up." Regulus stared into the crackling fireplace and tried to steady his breathing. "I hate how free you are. I hate that you get to have fun with your friends while I'm stuck here, trying to clean up the mess you left."

"I'm sorry, Reg. I don't know what else I can say."

"An apology is worthless. It doesn't change a fucking thing." He poured them a fourth.

"Maybe we should take it easy…"

Regulus gulped it down and his brother had no choice but to follow suit.

"I wish we were fighting on the same side," Sirius said after a moment of silence.

He let out a humorless laugh. "Oh, believe me, we are. How's this for a confession: the Dark Lord has made a horcrux and I'm planning on stealing it after Christmas."

His brother's mouth fell open. "You're lying."

"I'm not. Gryffindors aren't the only ones who get to become heroic rebels."

"Are you barking mad? You can't do this by yourself!"

"I'm not alone; Kreacher is helping me! I'll drink the potion, Kreacher will swap the horcrux with the fake locket, and he'll Apparate us out of there. Then I'll figure out how to destroy it."

Sirius exhaled loudly. "I admire your bravery – really I do – but you aren't powerful enough to go against Voldemort. Let Dumbledore take over from here."

Regulus slammed his fist onto the table. "No! This is my mission! I have to redeem my honor!"

"You've already redeemed yourself by going against Voldemort." Sirius shook his head in disbelief. "Godric's balls, I never expected you to be such a badass! But how did you find out about the horcrux?"

"The Dark Lord asked to borrow Kreacher back in August. He brought him to a cave surrounded by a black lake and made him drink a potion that tortured him. The Dark Lord put a locket into the empty basin and refilled it. Then he left. When Kreacher tried to drink some lake water, he was dragged under by Inferi. He would have drowned if I hadn't ordered him to come back home. I figured it out after Kreacher told me what happened. The Dark Lord doesn't even look human anymore, so I think he's made several more horcruxes that are hidden in other locations. He's trying to become immortal and we have to stop him."

"Yeah, but it's gonna be even more difficult now. That's why we need Dumbledore's help. This is too big for just the two of us to handle."

Regulus ran a hand through his hair. "You might be right. Perhaps it was arrogant of me to think that I could take care of it myself."

"Well, that is a trait we have in common. I blame our parents."

It wasn't even that funny, but it made Regulus laugh until his sides ached. "Sweet Salazar, I haven't laughed that much since we were kids!"

His brother grinned at him. "I knew you'd warm up to my sense of humor again." He poured them another firewhisky. "Last round and last confession." This time they clinked their shot glasses together.

Regulus went first. "You make it impossible to hate you."

Sirius smiled. "You're a good kid. I'm proud of you, Reggie."

His nose tingled with suppressed emotion. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Sirius stood up and pulled him into a hug.

Regulus clung to him, letting the tears stream down his face. "I'm glad you came back," he choked out.

"Me too, little brother. And don't you ever plan something so reckless again without talking to me first. You might have gotten yourself killed!"

He let go of him, wiping at his eyes. "I still might."

"Not on my watch you won't. We're in this together."

His brother's words gave him strength. Regulus had something to live for now.


Closing note: Thanks for reading! Feedback is very important to me, so please drop me a review and let me know what you think. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and I'll see you again next year!