The girls sat hunched over the kitchen table, textbooks spread out, in an attempt to throw Hortensia's mom off their backs. Matilda had a blue notebook open on top of her algebra worksheet and was flipping through the pages with mild amusement. If Hortensia deserved any kind of award, it would be for her creativity, but realistically, her notebook full of schemes and plans tended to fall into the "illegal" and "impossible" category.
"If anything actually does happen to the Trunchbull, this notebook needs to be burned." Matilda said.
"Why?" Hortensia asked with a scowl. Matilda thought she still looked rather green, but that was probably because she still continued to stuff her face with potato chips. Just the thought of eating something so greasy sent Matilda's stomach for a loop. She herself hadn't been feeling so great since the toast, despite the medicine.
"Because I don't think Jenny, or any university, would approve of 1st degree murder as an acceptable form of extracurricular activity."
"What do you care about university for? You're five." Hortensia said, in between a mouthful of chips. "And I'm ten, would anyone really believe us to be capable of murder?"
Matilda sighed. "We're not killing her."
"But say, hypothetically, she dies of an accident."
"No! No one's dying!" Matilda said, before flipping to a page and sliding it over." How exactly did you plan on getting cannonballs onto the roof? Does that really look like an accident?" She pointed to a crude illustration of a squished car with a dead stick figure in the driver's seat.
"I will admit they're not the most thought out ideas; it's just a hobby."
"We need to think smaller, the idea is to inconvenience her; not hurt her." Matilda could see Hortensia's face turn angry.
"Inconvenience? I thought you wanted revenge and-" Hortensia jumped to her feet, chair scraping behind her. "Um, I don't-" but before she could finish her thought, Hortensia was sprinting out of the kitchen and down the hall.
"I told her to stop eating chips." Matilda mumbled, before taking several long gulps of water. Jenny had been adamant about drinking water, so she had been playing a little game. Take a drink every time Hortensia ate a chip. She had soon abandoned that game, her tiny stomach was no match to whichever evolutionary adaption Hortensia's stomach had come up with to store chips. She was starting to think she didn't have a stomach at all, but rather a portal straight to one of the nine dimensions of hell that dumped undigested snacks onto some poor damned soul. Matilda shuddered at the thought. Maybe Dante's Inferno hadn't been the greatest reading material, either.
Matilda's legs were jiggling by the time she heard the kitchen door open. She looked up, hoping it was Hortensia. She'd have to give the bathroom a few minutes to air out, of course, she didn't have to pee so bad she'd rush in straight after whichever horror's Hortensia had unleashed in there. She frowned in disappointment when she realized it was only Hortensia's mom.
"Sicker than a dog." she heard her mumble. Matilda bit her lip. It didn't sound like Hortensia would be out anytime soon.
"I really appreciate you helping Hortensia with her math, I don't know how you do it, though. I can't get her to willingly work, even when she's well." Matilda felt a pang of guilt. The open text books had just been a cover.
"Maybe she's just delusional from a fever." Hortensia's mom chuckled.
"Could be."
"What should I call you?" Matilda asked after a moment of silence. She didn't even know Hortensia's last name.
"My name is Eve."
"Okay, Mrs. Eve." Matilda said. It was rude to call adults by their first name, so she had to improvise. Hortensia's mom only laughed again and shook her head.
"Just Eve is fine."
Matilda didn't feel comfortable being on a first name basis. She was still angry with her for failing to act in Hortensia's best interest. Why had she called her daughter a liar if she knew she was telling the truth? Why did all the adults in this town sit back and do nothing? Matilda's own father had sent her to Crunchem Hall knowing the Trunchbull's reputation. He had probably sent her there because of the Trunchbull's reputation, not in spite of. Matilda shook her head, this wasn't a road she wanted to go down right now. It was much easier to fight for other people instead of herself. Besides, her father's actions had inadvertently made her life drastically better, not worse as he had most likely intended. She had met Miss Honey, and she had found, for the first time, what love felt like.
Another, more sad thought filled her head. It made her uneasy and made her stomach twist. Matilda had been angry at the adults in her life for not standing up to the Trunchbull and not protecting their children. Was Miss Honey any different? If the time came where Matilda was in danger, would- no could timid, fearful Miss Honey protect her? Matilda knew it was too much to ask of her. Jenny needed someone to look after her! She had been abused far worse than Matilda knew she could even imagine at the hands of that woman! Timid Jenny, who looked like she wanted to sink into the floor whenever the Trunchbull entered her classroom. Jenny, who had signed away any hope of ever being properly independent, who hid horrid scars underneath her clothes, and had spent years living in poverty. She was Matilda's reason to fight. When she thought of Jenny, she wasn't afraid.
"Matilda, do you need the bathroom?" Eve's voice snapped her from her train of thought. Matilda looked down at herself and blushed. She hadn't even noticed she had gotten up on her hind legs, hands grabbing at herself. What was she doing? She was better than this kind of juvenile behavior!
"Well, umm, yes." Matilda admitted. It would be more childish to deny it at this point, and now that she had started paying attention, did she ever! "Do you have another bathroom?" Maybe there was another in the master bedroom. Her hopes were dashed when Eve shook her head. "It's fine, I can wait until Hortensia's out."
Eve looked skeptical. "I don't think she'll be out anytime, soon. Is it your stomach?" Matilda shook her head, and Eve seemed to relax now that an impending blow out was off the table.
"A neighbor's, maybe?" Matilda asked after failing to distract herself with the textbook.
Eve bit her lip. "The only neighbor I'd feel comfortable taking you to is Jan, Chunky's mom, but she's a bit of a germaphobe. I don't think she'd let either of us in right now." Matilda's face fell. How had she not noticed sooner? Had she really been that deep in thought? "I can't leave Hortensia alone right now, either."
"I could just walk to the market, it's only a few blocks." Matilda suggested. Eve looked like she had proposed letting Matilda play with a loaded fire arm. "Or not." she mumbled.
"I'm sorry, you'll either have to wait or…" Matilda watched her eyes shift to her backpack.
"No!" Matilda said, a bit more forceful than necessary. "I still have that, umm, soreness. It would be very painful." Why was everyone suggesting she pee on herself today? Just because she was a bed wetter did not make it suddenly okay.
"Oh, that's right." Eve said. "Well, if you get desperate enough, there's the backyard, although it might be a little tricky for you being a girl and all. You'd probably have to take everything off from the waist down."
"I'll wait." Matilda said through gritted teeth. She just went from being a baby to being a dog. She had had her fill of relieving herself outdoors after yesterday. The experience had been unnerving, not to mention loud. It was a memory she wished to bury and never think about again! She despised being vulnerable, and nothing said vulnerable like being naked in a stranger's front yard with zero bowel control next to a woman who kept saying things like "that's it." and "let it all out of your system." If she had meant to be comforting, she had missed the mark by a mile. It had been the most humiliating moment of her life, right next to Jenny pulling her out of the Chokey soaked, and having her first accident in Jenny's bed. Recently, it seemed, her life seemed to be full of cringy moments.
Matilda's resolve not stoop down to the level of an animal had lasted all of twenty minutes. She groaned in embarrassment as she got up and headed for the backyard. She kept reminding herself it would look worse having an accident. Picturing Eve treating her like she had yesterday had broken the rest of her resolve.
"Do you need any help with your overalls?" Matilda could feel warmth gather in her face. She had hoped to slip out unnoticed, or at least Eve would have the courtesy not to say anything. No such luck on either accounts.
"No, thank you." Matilda mumbled. She went out back, shutting the screen door behind her. She took in the backyard. All the grass seemed to be directly in front of the back door. Matilda groaned again. No way was she going to do this with Eve watching. She had given her enough of a show yesterday. As Matilda made her way around the small backyard, she couldn't shake the image of a dog sniffing around, searching for the perfect spot. Just pick somewhere and get it over with! There!
All the way along the fence were flowers, but there in the corner was a bush, and not a very pretty one anyway. As she was undoing her overalls, she had the odd feeling she was being watched. She eyed the backdoor, but Eve, thankfully, was not there. No one was looking out the kitchen window, either. She was just feeling paranoid because this felt wrong, she thought, but before she stripped the rest of the way, she let her eyes scan the area one last time. Nothing. She got into position over the bush, but just as she began to pull everything down, she let out a yell and quickly hoisted it back up. She had been so concerned about Eve watching, she hadn't thought of anyone else, so she was startled when her eyes locked with a man on the second floor of the neighbor's house.
Matilda ran back inside, overalls still dangling.
"Feel better?" a voice from the kitchen table asked. Of course, she'd ask that, Matilda thought.
"There was a man watching me from upstairs." Matilda said. Eve scowled.
"Damn him, that perv. I've caught him several times watching us."
Matilda shook her head. "I didn't…"
"Wise of you." Eve said, a scowl still on her face. "Stay inside the rest of the day." Matilda didn't ask why.
Matilda rested her head on her textbook, burying her face in her arms. "C'mon, Hortensia! Aren't you done blowing it up yet?" Matilda quietly mumbled to herself. Her legs were now involuntarily shaking, the straps she hadn't fastened on her overalls bouncing noisily against the chair. What was she going to do now? She looked up hopefully when she heard a scraping sound. Was Hortensia back? No, it was just Eve dragging a chair over to the top row of cupboards.
Instead of climbing on top to reach up, Eve patted the chair. 'Come on, hop up" Matilda tried to make sense of what she was saying. She stood up and followed in a trance. She couldn't think right now, she couldn't even stand still. Maybe Eve was afraid of heights? She doubted Matilda could reach that high, but she stood on the chair anyway.
"Face me." Matilda turned. She wasn't even eye level, she was still a good foot shorter. So then why? Matilda let out a panicked gasp. Eve had yanked her overalls and underwear down, and was lifting her up by her hips. When she stopped moving, Matilda realized she was hovering over the sink. Her legs were resting over the edge, but she knew if Eve let go, she'd fall backwards into it. "Go on, I've got you." Once again, not comforting, Matilda thought. Her body clenched tight in protest. "Let me know when you're done."
"I-I can't." Matilda muttered, face red with embarrassment. Not with Eve right in front of her, holding her.
"Everything's harder as a girl, I know." Eve said. It was true, Matilda could have gone in the bush with her back to the neighbor already. She wrapped one arm around Matilda's waist and reached behind her with the other. She nearly jumped out of Eve's hold as she felt cold water splash her back. Matilda hadn't been quite out of the range of the faucet, but she was no match for the sound and feel of running water.
Matilda hid her face in her arms as she felt herself give in, feeling both shame and relief, grateful for the noise of the faucet. If she had to hear herself pee, it would have been the end of her dignity, although she was pretty sure she had lost all of that yesterday.
Once Matilda's feet hit the floor, she quickly hoisted up her underwear, but before she could re-attach the buckles of her overalls, she felt Eve tugging on her shirt. "I'm sorry, I got you all wet."
Matilda shrugged. If Eve hadn't, she'd still be up there, involuntarily fighting against every trickle. Matilda shuddered, imagining Eve praising her for every sound and trying to coax her into letting it out all at once.
"See, you're cold." Matilda felt her shirt get pulled off. "Do you have another shirt?" Matilda shook her head. She had only brought spare pants and diapers she had been sent home with. She hadn't thought her shirt would get in the line of fire. "I'll put it in the dryer for you." Matilda nodded and let out a large yawn behind her hand. She was starting to feel exhausted now that adrenaline and panic were no longer coursing through her. Her energy level was still much lower than usual and she realized she felt warm, not from embarrassment, but from fever. She was still sick.
"Feel free to take a nap on the couch if you need to." She heard Eve yell from the back of the house. Matilda wanted to very much, but…" her eyes drifted to her backpack. Why had Jenny packed those diapers and not pull-ups? She knew she couldn't risk sleeping without anything, not with how much water she had been drinking, and not with how desperate she had gotten so quickly. She ground her teeth. Matilda didn't have a choice, she knew. She dug around in her backpack and pulled one out, before making her way over to the couch. She kicked off the rest of her clothes, and opened it.
She turned it side to side. Where was the front, and where was the back? She had never changed a diaper before, it all looked the same. She sat on it and tried to pull it up, nope, that wasn't right. Matilda turned it around and tried again. Nope, that was even worse! On her fifth try, she let out a moan of frustration. She heard a chuckle. Matilda looked up to find Eve watching her from the hallway.
"Need a hand?" Matilda wanted to say no, but this blasted thing wasn't cooperating, and she was in danger of falling asleep on top of it and not in it. "Lay back." She did as she was instructed, too drained to fight. Eve's words were fading in and out. Matilda was only vaguely aware sometime later of another figure's presence.
"Move your diapered ass." Matilda moaned and rolled onto her side, suddenly squished between the back of the couch and something nice and very warm. She wrapped her arms around it, but something was in the way. Without opening her eyes, she felt around and moved away whatever it was, before pressing her face against it and sighing contentedly, now fast asleep, before feeling something reluctantly wrap around her.
…
Jenny was surprised to find the door beginning to open before she had even lifted her hand to knock. Eve poked her face out and beckoned her in with a finger, with a finger of her other hand pressed to her lips.
"You need to see this." Eve whispered, and Jenny followed her inside now curious. Eve crept into the living room and pointed down at the couch. Jenny tiptoed inside and covered her mouth in surprise. Both girls were asleep, Matilda in nothing but a diaper, her face resting on Hortensia's bare stomach, both with arms wrapped around each other.
Jenny bit down on her knuckle to suppress the giggle that wanted to come out. Matilda had her moments, but Hortensia? Now that was a girl she couldn't imagine being a cuddler. She couldn't even picture her staying still long enough to cuddle. She took one last glance at the girls, before following Eve into the kitchen.
"I never imagined Hortensia as the affectionate type." Jenny admitted, taking a seat. Eve laughed.
"She's not. I told you, they're different when they're sick." Eve said.
Jenny thought back to last night. Matilda had been a bit clingier than usual, and Jenny had been more than happy to oblige. She thought it was because Matilda had thought she had hurt her, but as she thought back, it was Matilda who had initiated contact. She had even asked to be read to.
"You never told me she was some kind of genius." Eve suddenly said, her tone changing. Jenny smiled and shrugged. "If she wasn't sick, I was about to have her do my taxes for me."
"What gave it away?"
"I caught her trying to give medication to my daughter. When I took the bottle away from her, she recited the instructions, and the math needed to calculate the dosage for children based on their weight. Then she began doing Hortensia's math homework in her head. I thought she was copying off Hortensia's paper, but she even got the answers Hortensia missed."
Jenny smiled and replied, "She likes math."
"Let me ask you, where is she living? You said she comes from an abusive home. Is she a foster child, is that why she's still in your class? "
Jenny's smile faltered. "It's complicated. She's living with me, but her situation isn't exactly…"
"On the up and up." Eve volunteered.
"Yes." Jenny said, sounding sad. "I was able to get her family to give up custody of her, and pay a very small amount in child support, but if anyone came looking for her." She bit her lip. "I don't think the courts would give me custody. That's also why she's still in my class. I don't have the legal right to switch schools, I'd pull her out of there so fast if I could! I try and be the best teacher I can be for her, but-" Jenny stopped as she felt a hand close around hers.
"She doesn't need you as a teacher right now; she needs you as a mother." Jenny froze. "That independence, you see, that came from necessity. That's not normal, it doesn't matter how smart she is. Do you know why she knows how to give herself medicine? It's because no one was there to give it to her."
"I know," Jenny said with a sigh. "She told me last night she doesn't see me as a mother, though."
"Then make her see you as one." Eve said. "Jenny, I don't know how to tell you this, but I think Matilda has very dark feelings towards the adults in her life, and if you don't address it and soon, something very bad may happen."
Crap, Jenny thought, she must know about her powers too!
"Like today, for instance, she gave me a look like she wanted to rip my head off!"
"Well, she is only five, and you said they don't act themselves when they're sick. She is a very sweet girl."
"Jenny," Eve said. "Listen, I found a notebook in with her school things. She's having fantasies about murdering the principal."
Jenny's eyebrows narrowed, and then she let out a nervous laugh. "What? No, Matilda would never want to hurt anyone. "
"I put it back with her things, you can look through it tonight, but seriously, with that brain of hers and these dark fantasies, you really need to do something to put a stop to this. Even the bed-wetting is a sign of emotional disturbance. "
"Eve!" Jenny said, getting to her feet. "Matilda is not some evil child, she is a very sweet and special girl who doesn't have a drop of darkness in her heart!"
"I'm not saying she's evil! All i'm saying is I think you need to spend more one on one time with her. Fewer academics, and more nurturing maybe, I don't know!" Eve said also getting to her feet.
"Jenny?" A quiet voice asked. Both women turned to find a very sleepy looking Matilda leaning against the doorway, a wet diaper hanging from her hips.
Jennifer plastered on a fake smile as best she could. She could only pray Matilda hadn't heard their conversation. "Hi, sweetie, I'm sorry if we woke you. Let's get your overalls back on, I'll get you cleaned up once we get home." Matilda looked at her a bit dazed, but didn't argue. She had barely pulled up her pants when Jenny picked her and her backpack up and headed for the door.
…..
To think Matilda capable of such a thing! Jenny thought, seething, as she started running a bath. Eve had spent two afternoons with her and was already telling her how to be a parent! Jenny sighed as she rubbed at her temples. She was getting a headache.
"Jenny? What's wrong?" Matilda asked from the doorway. She had gotten out of her overalls, and was pacing back and forth in the wet diaper, a look of pain on her face.
"It's nothing, sweetie, don't worry about it. If you need to pee, go in the diaper." Jenny watched Matilda's face turn a bright shade of red.
"N-no, I don't have to." She said. Jenny nodded and turned back to the water, aware Matilda had gone into the other room. When she came back, she couldn't help notice there was predominantly more sagging around her waist and an even more uncomfortable expression on Matilda's face. Liar.
"Come here. Let's get that off you." Jenny reached for the tabs, but frowned when Matilda pulled away.
"I can do it myself." She mumbled. She was about to tear it off, but Jenny grabbed her hands to stop her.
"I know you can do it yourself, and I love how independent you are, but sometimes, like right now, with me, you don't have to be. Does that make sense?"
Matilda frowned. "It's gross, though, I don't want you to."
Jenny smiled softly. "Gross? Why would I think it's gross? Is it because it's so…fresh?!" She lunged forward, taking Matilda off guard, and began making her squeal with laughter.
"No! Stop! I'm ticklish!" she cried, and tried to dance away, but Jenny had her pinned into the corner, running her fingers up her sides, until the small girl was red-faced and panting. She looked so far from the evil genius Eve thought her to be. Jenny bent down and tore the tabs off, before balling it up and throwing it in the trashcan.
"Was that so bad? Now into the bath with you!" She waited until Matilda was fully submerged before excusing herself. Now, what was with this notebook? She went to Matilda's backpack, digging around, until she pulled out a blue composition book she didn't recognize. She opened it and flipped through the childish doodles. Jenny breathed a sigh of relief. Dark fantasies, she thought, shaking her head. This wasn't even Matilda's neat writing, and the plans inside were so over the top, how could anyone take them seriously? Dropping a cannonball from the roof? Really?
Jenny stopped at a page that featured a crude drawing of a cat. She smiled and shook her head. She had a feeling she knew who this notebook belonged to, and Eve wasn't going to like it.
"Matilda," Jenny said, do you know who this belongs to? I found it in your backpack." She held it up, so Matilda could see, and noticed her face begin to lose color. Jenny sighed and sat down on the closed toilet lid. She may be a genius, but she couldn't keep a secret to save her life.
"Hortensia's," she mumbled. At least she wasn't lying anymore. "I said I wanted to help her play pranks, so she showed it to me."
Jenny bit her lip in worry. The Trunchbull was the last person anyone should be playing pranks on.
"I realize some of the doodles she made aren't exactly pranks." Matilda went on.
"Yes," Jenny said. "They aren't. They are the worst plans for murder I have ever seen." Matilda giggled.
"Did you see the cannonball one?" Matilda asked. "How was she planning on getting those on the roof?"
Jenny smiled. She had also seen rough drafts for other strange occurrences she hadn't realized had been Hortensia's doing. She was smart and calculating when she put her mind to it, so she knew the murder sketches had been nothing to worry about. It was clear no planning had gone into them. How had she planned on getting them onto the roof? It was almost as if she'd need-Jenny swallowed nervously as realization dawned on her. It was almost as if she'd need telekinetic powers.
…
"Matilda," Jenny asked as they laid in bed that night. "Do you like living with me?"
"Yes, of course! This is so much better than where I came from!" Matilda said, rolling onto her side.
"I know it's better, but I was just wondering…is it enough?" Am I enough?
Matilda rolled over and faced her. She looked confused. "I don't understand."
Jenny sighed. "What If you could have a family who loved and appreciated you. A mom and dad, your own room again. Your own bed! I can't give you any of those things. Wouldn't you prefer that over this?"
Jenny could see the scowl forming over Matilda's features. "I thought you said you wanted to be my mom."
"Of course, I want to be your mom!" Jenny said. "I may not be very good at it, but-"
"If I could choose, I'd still pick you." Matilda said matter-of-factly. "This," she gestured around the tiny room, "has felt more like home than anywhere else I've ever lived, because you're here."
"You're so sweet, I hope you're not just saying that." Jenny said, pulling Matilda towards her and into a hug. "You know you can tell me the truth, no matter how small or big."
"I do." Matilda said, resting her head on Jenny's shoulder.
"Uh-huh, Miss, no, I don't have to pee." She could feel Matilda stiffen against her. She bit her lip, maybe she shouldn't have gone so far. "Why does that bother you so much?"
"I don't know." Matilda mumbled into Jenny's nightgown. Liar. She rubbed up and down her bare back, her shirt having mysteriously disappeared again.
"Tell me, please. You never tell me you need something until it's too late." She could feel Matilda tense again. There was an issue somewhere around here. She was determined to get to the bottom of it. "You don't like asking for help, even if it would save you a lot of trouble. Remember the museum?" Jenny could feel Matilda begin to shake with sobs, but she had to get to the bottom of this. "Talk to me, Matilda. I can't be there for you if you don't tell me what you need." Jenny waited patiently, gently scratching Matilda's back until she calmed down. "Tell me this, back at the museum, why didn't you just ask me to unclip your overalls?"
"Because it was something a little kid would need."
"Honey, you're five years old, you are a little kid."
"I don't like," Matilda said, but stopped.
"Go on, finish your thought."
"I don't like feeling helpless, and I don't like people thinking I'm helpless."
"Of course, I don't think you're helpless, but needing help sometimes doesn't make you helpless either. Adults need to ask for help all the time, too. "
"But not like," Matilda said, dropping her voice, "going to the bathroom or something."
"Did you know brides on their wedding need someone to hold their dress up while they pee?" Matilda scrunched up her face.
"So I won't get married then." She said.
Jenny laughed. "Just over that?"
"These last few days have been awful!"
"I know, being sick is no fun, but I think you're over the worst of it. Eve said you only threw up twice today. Maybe tomorrow you won't throw up at all."
"Not like that, I mean, yeah that was awful too, but I don't like being sick, around other people. Like you said, you didn't like not wearing clothes. I don't like dealing with bodily functions around other people. Adults especially, It makes me feel-"
"Vulnerable?" Jenny asked.
"Yeah!" Matilda said. "I don't like feeling vulnerable around adults." Jenny frowned and stroked Matilda's head. It didn't really come as a surprise given everything she had shared with her, but it still made Jenny feel a little sad.
"Do I make you feel vulnerable?"
Matilda didn't answer for some time. "You used to, but not so much anymore." Jenny sighed.
"I want you to feel comfortable with anything you might want or need. You know that, right? No matter how embarrassing or personal. It doesn't matter what it might be. I will never shame you, or belittle you, or scold you for asking or letting me know you need help."
"D-do you mean that?" Matilda asked in a quiet voice.
"Of course, Matilda. Is there something in particular you wanted or needed that bothers you?"
"I- I guess, but it's weird, and it would make you uncomfortable, and I don't even know why I want to so bad!" Matilda said, tripping over her words. Jenny's face frowned with concern. What was it she wanted that would make her uncomfortable?
"What is it?" Jenny asked.
"I- I want to," Matilda said, looking uncertain. "I want to lay on your chest." Matilda blurted out.
Jenny smiled, still confused. "That's fine."
"Your bare chest." Matilda said, barely over a whisper. Oh…
Jenny paused. She stared ahead at the foot of the bed. Why would Matilda want to lay on her bare chest? One of the few things she wasn't sure she could do… Her heart was beating in a panic. She was waiting, she needed to answer her. She could tell her, "no," without belittling or shaming her, but was that fair? Jenny had been asking her to drop her guard. That was normal, though, she was the adult and Matilda was a child. She needed to be able to trust adults again.
Was this even an appropriate request to fulfil? She was just a child. Surely there was no ulterior motive, she even said herself, she didn't know why she wanted it…so bad. Jenny gulped. Matilda had never said she wanted something badly. Why this of all things? She thought of Matilda lying on Hortensia's bare stomach with her arms around her.
She was a girl who had never felt love. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Matilda was craving a kind of non-sexual intimacy, the feeling of skin against skin. Was that why she kept taking off her shirt? Jenny bit her lip. She was almost certain Matilda had stopped expecting a reply. She sighed and turned off the light.
….
Matilda felt her heart sink when the room had gone dark. She guessed that was Jenny's way of saying, "no," but she could have at least told her instead of ignoring her. She could feel tears begin to well in her eyes, Then she heard another sound, of something soft that had fallen to the floor.
"Come here, Matilda."
An arm gently guided her down in the dark. She could hear Jenny suck in a panicked breath when their bodies made contact. Where was it? She felt around her chest, until she felt what she was after. There! She moved up as slowly and gently as she could and placed her ear where her hand had been. Matilda could hear and feel Jenny's heart beating like mad.
"I won't hurt you, Jenny." Matilda whispered. "It's okay." She softly hummed for a bit and ran her fingers through Jenny's hair. Ever so slowly, she could feel Jenny's stiff body begin to slowly relax underneath her. Matilda smiled as she felt Jenny's arms move around her and embrace her. Yes! This. This is what she had been longing for. She wanted to feel her body heat around her, and listen to her heart beat. There was something so intimate about it, like it was something only they could share.
"Are you okay?" Matilda whispered. The arms around her tightened in response, and she felt a pair of lips kiss her cheek.
"How did you know I needed this too?"
