At the middle of the night with the loud siblings in Lori and Leni's bedroom. Lynn and Lana are having a pillow fight, Luna is bouncing Lily, Luan is braiding Lucy's hair as she reads an Edgar Allen Poe book, Leni is painting Lori's toenails, and Lincoln is speaking with Lisa and Bloody Bunny.
Lincoln: So then, bam! my remote control planes smash right into dad's disco ball, and broke into millions of pieces
Lynn Jr: (gasps) oh no! (she ducks as Lana accidentally whacks Leni with a pillow, knocking her off the bed.) the one he got from winning the Royal Woods dance your pants off contest' he was so proud of that thing
Lincoln: I know. if he ever finds out, I'll be dead as disco
Lori: don't worry, you're not the only one hiding something from Dad.
Luna, Lisa, Lynn Jr, Lana, and Lily: oooooooh!
Lori: I accidentally scratched the car with my rhinestone purse
(Flashback)
We see Lori driving up to a parking space, turning the car off. When she opens the door, she accidentally dents the car door next to her. Realizing this, she tries to inch herself away, unknowingly leaving jagged scratches on the side of the van with her purse.
(Flashback ended)
Luna: You think that's bad? remember the blackout last week?
(Flashback)
Luna sets volume on her speakers to 'Supermax' and strums her guitar once, causing a citywide blackout.
(Flashback ended)
Lucy: I rather enjoy the darkness. Speaking of which, does anyone know how to get black paint out of place? I painted Mom's wedding dress for my dark betrothal to Edwin.
(Flashback)
Lucy is seen describing the descending the basement stairs wearing mom's wedding dress, completely repainted in black. In the basement are a bunch of disfigured dolls looking towards Edwin, Lucy's vampire bust.
(Flashback ended)
Bloody Bunny: I'm betting painting a wedding dress is bad luck, speaking of that. Do you guys want to know who smashed the bathroom mirror yesterday?
(Flashback)
We see Bloody Bunny washing her paws with a bar soup she's using near the sink. Suddenly the bar of soap slips out of her paws, thrown across the room, ricocheting to the floor and walls until it smashes right towards the bathroom's mirror shattering into pieces. Bloody Bunny looks at it in shock, she quickly dries her paws with a towel, backs away, slowly whistling casually, and sprints out of the bathroom.
(Flashback ended)
Lara: That was you?
Bloody Bunny: yes, I'm sorry had to make you replace it, I hope I won't get one thousand years of bad luck from breaking a mirror.
Lara: It's okay, stuff like this happens all the time.
Lincoln: (to the audience) what can I say? We're not angels. Sometimes, we mess up. But the great thing is, if you need to get something off your chest, you can always trust your siblings.
A knock at the door is heard.
"Well, not all of them."
Lincoln walks up to the door and opens it, refueling to be Lola. She enters the room.
Lola: whatcha guys talkin about?
Lisa: Quantum physics!
Lynn Jr: Monster trucks!
Lori: Bobby!
Leni: Politics!
Lynn Jr: Basketball!
Luan Jokes!
Lana: Global warming!
Bloody Bunny: Skull minions!
Lola: you're telling secrets again, how are you? It's not fair! I never get included!
Lincoln: that's because you're a tattle-tale, Lola
Lola: (scoffs) I am not!
Lincoln and the others look at her with disbelief while a cricket chirps.
Bloody Bunny: (sarcastically) uh-huh, sure you are
Lola: Okay, I'll admit I used to be a tattle-tale but I changed.
Everybody still doesn't believe her as they murmur to each other. Lola growls loudly, tosses her tiara aside in fury and screams at the top of her lungs.
"MOM! THEY WON'T LET ME IN THEIR SECRET SECRETS CLUB!"
As Lola storms out of the room, Lincoln quickly shuts the door. Lisa checks her list of secrets.
Lisa: Mmm. So where are we?
Lincoln: I broke Dad's disco ball, Luna caused the blackout, Bloody Bunny broke the bathroom mirror, Lori scratched the car, and Lucy ruined Mom's wedding dress. Who's next?
Lara: (raise her hand) ohh! ohh! So do you know how dad was yelling at Charles from chewing up his boots? (giggles) that was me
The siblings begin laughing. Except for Bloody Bunny who let out a chuckle.
Luan: (with realization) wait a second. Aren't those steel toe?
(Next day)
Lincoln wakes up and sees Lola looking at him with a wide smile. Lincoln yells in shock. Lola quickly covers his mouth to stop his yelling from waking up Bloody Bunny who is asleep.
Lola: shhh! wake her up and you're dead (she uncovers his mouth) anyway, morning, Linky (she pulls out a fancy suit) I need a butler for my tea party. You're it
Lincoln: yeah. That's not happening. (He puts his bedsheets back on.)
Lola: oh, really?
She swipes the bedsheets off of him. Lincoln looks up. "I hate for Dad to find out who broke his precious disco ball!"
Lincoln: (gasps loudly, realizing that Lola knows his secret.) who told you that?!
Lola shrugs her shoulders, pretending not to know.
Lincoln is seen dressing the suit Lola provided.
Lola: top me off, Linkingtion.
Lincoln tips the teacup over.
"I don't hear any tea"
Lincoln sighs, and tips the teacup over while making a whooshing sound to make it sound like tea is pouring out.
(Backyard)
Lucy is writing in her poem book, and Lola approaches her with her princess car.
Lola: Hey, Luce. Want to play 'Drive me around while I practice my pageant wave?'
Lucy: hard pass.
Lola: okay.
She drives around for a little bit. "Maybe I'll go play 'Dress up" with Mom's wedding gown instead.
Lucy locks up with realization as a crow caws.
Lola: (gasps) oh, wait. I can't, because someone ruined it.
Lucy: (gasps loudly, realizing she knows about her secret.) Who told you that?
Lola shrugs her shoulders, pretending not to know. She moves into the passenger seat as Lucy sits down on the driver's seat. Lola motions Lucy to start driving.
Lucy: sigh.
Lucy dons a chauffeur's cap, and begins driving as Lola begins waving.
(Kitchen)
Bloody Bunny is eating a carrot having a little nice peace and quiet when Lola enters.
Lola: hey, Bloody Bunny. Whatcha doin?
Bloody Bunny: (munching before swallowing) I'm just eating a carrot. You know I couldn't help myself when it comes to vegetables after all bunnies love vegetables such as myself.
Lola: That's good to know anyhow, can I play with you?
Bloody Bunny: Mmm… let me think oh yeah, no! Why don't you go play with the others
Lola: okay then. I guess I should tell Mom who destroyed the bathroom mirror two days ago.
Bloody Bunny: (eyes widened, realizing Lola found out her secret.) How did you know that? Who told you that?
Once again, Lola shrugs her shoulders, pretending not to know.
Lola: So what is it gonna be? Either. I play with you or I'll tell Mom.
Bloody Bunny: (through clenched teeth, glowed and angrily) fine. (She sighs in defeat.)
Lola: (smiles in victory) yay!
(Living room)
Lori is texting on her phone, Luna is watching TV, and Lynn Sr is reading a newspaper. Lola enters.
Lola: Luna, can I have the middle?
Luna: Sorry, little dudette. 'I' snagged it first
Lola: oh, okay. I hope your show doesn't, you know, like, 'end' suddenly. I heard there have been a lot of blackouts lately.
Lola turns back at Luna with a wicked grin.
Luna: (realizing Lola knows her secret.) Who told-
Luna stops talking, realizing that her father is right next to her. Luna reluctantly places Lola on the couch as she angrily sits down on the floor.
Lola: Lori, can I have head scratches?
Lori: no. I need both hands for texting.
Lola: Oh, I just thought you wouldn't mind since you've been 'scratching' a lot lately.
Lori gasps, realizing Lola knows about her secret. She begrudgingly begins to scratch Lola's head.
"Two hands, please."
Lori looks on with disdain.
(Lana and Lola's room)
By now, Lola has forced all her siblings into doing menial tasks for her. Luna is playing a mandolin, Lynn Jr is painting Lola's toenails, Lana is dressed fancy, and Lincoln is back to being Lola's waiter.
Luna: (playing the mandolin, irate) with a moo moo here, and moo moo there-
Lola: (correcting Luna) uh… I believe I said he had a 'pig'.
Luna: (through clenched teeth, more irate) with an oink oink here, and oink oink there…
Lola: How's my homework coming. Lis?
Lisa: (pulling up a sheet of paper that has the letters of the alphabet made of different shaped pasta noodles.) I'm up to the letter 's'.
Lola: hmm, make the macaroni a little crooked. I don't want my teacher getting suspicious.
She chuckles and claps twice "Jester! How about a joke?"
Luan: (dressed as a jester, unenthusiastically) why do chicken coups only have two doors? 'Cause if they had four, they'd be chicken sedans. Ha ha ha ha ha. Get it?
Lola: yes! (laughs) isn't this fun, everybody?
As Lola laughs at the fun she's having, her siblings all grumble in frustration, knowing they're 'not' having fun.
Later in Lori and Leni's room, the siblings are having another meeting.
Lori: Well, I think we all know why we're here. Lola knows our secrets, and she's literally torturing us.
Bloody Bunny: yeah and I want to know who told her.
Lynn Jr: (suspiciously) clearly, we have a rat
Leni: (thinking Lynn is referring to a real rat, horrified.) Ew! Where?!
Lisa: (to Leni) no, Leni. A 'rat' is an infection term for a 'snitch'. (To everyone else.) So which one of you low-lifes is it?
Bloody Bunny: (took it as an insult) who are you calling a low-life Egghead!
All the siblings begin to fight, blaming each one of them for being the rat. During their squabble, Lincoln flies out, and lands on something that pierces his butt.
Lincoln: yowch!
He pulls the item from his butt, revealing to be Lola's tiara. "What the?" As he examines the tiara, he notices a microphone attached to it. He realized something. "Guys, stop!"
The siblings cease their fighting.
Lincoln: I know who is the rat is, in her name rhymes with 'granola'
Leni: (pull up Lisa) Lisa?
Lincoln: (facepalm) no, it's Lola! She put a microphone in her tiara, and eavesdropped on our meeting!
Bloody Bunny: (surprise) what?!
(Flashback from yesterday.)
Lola growls loudly and tosses her tiara in fury.
Lola: MOM! THEY WON'T LET ME IN THERE SECRET SECRETS CLUB!
As Lola was yelling at Mom, her tiara landed on the floor. The camera zooms in the tiara, revealing the microphone.
(Flashback ended)
Bloody Bunny: (angry) why that little… When I get my hands on her. I'm going to tire her up in a chair with duct tape and then I will force her to watch as I destroy her teddy bear and her dolls one by one with my sword until she'll beg me to stop in mercy.
Lynn Jr: oh save some for me. I also want payback on Lola.
Lori: later you two. Well, now we know who the rat is. But what do we do about it?
Lana: Yeah, she still has all of our secrets
Lincoln: (theorizing) but what if we have one of hers?
Lynn Jr: Fat chance. Lola's pro. She covers her tracks.
Bloody Bunny: But did she leave any evidence of her secret?
Lori: I'm afraid not, she kind of made them literally disappear without notice.
Bloody Bunny: dorn, she's good.
Lincoln: (determined) everyone makes mistakes, even Lola!
Next Morning. Lisa is sorting cereal bits for Lola, the pink marshmallows in a bowl marked 'yes' while the regular bits go in another bowl marked 'yuck'.
Lisa: just ten more minutes, and I'll have all the cereal separate for you, Lola.
Lola: Oh, good job, Lisa. Don't let any of that icky brain mix with those yummy marshmallows.
She looks up at Luna playing a double bass. "Uh, smooth jazz, Luna?' She chuckles "nice try. How 'bout a little adult contemporary instead?"
Luna: (acting) sure! Anything for you, sis
She plays a different line. Lynn Jr is now painting Lola's toes.
Lynn Jr: almost done with the second coat! Then onto the third
When Lola closes her eyes, Lynn Jr gives Lincoln the signal. He sneaks into Lana and Lola's room and searches every nook and cranny until he finds a secret note under Lola's mattress.
Lincoln: aha! (He grabs the note and reads it) 'if you're reading this, you must be snooping. Get out of my room or else... signed Lola'
He pays no attention to the warning and crumples up the note and finds another note in the wastebasket.
Lincoln: (reads it) 'I said get out of my room! Sighed, Lola.'
Lincoln growled "err!" He bees something on her nightstand. "Lola's diary" he went over, grabbed the diary, opened up a page. "Today, I broke Mom's most prized possession." He smiles thinking she's got her. "Just kidding. Only a moron would write secrets in a diary. Now get out of my room! Sighed, Lola." He closed the diary. "Man, she is good!" He grabs Lola's tiara. "What is your secret, Lola loud?"
Lynn Jr: (from downstairs, feigning concern) Lola, come back! Don't you want me to put more of that pink crud on your toenails?!
Lincoln gasps knowing Lola is coming. He hides the hugged tiara in his cap. Lola comes up to her room and gasps in shock.
Lola: (angry) busted!
She's actually scolding her teddy bear. "I said, no sweets before dinner, Mr. Sprinkles!"
Lola: (shivers) brr it's cold in here.
She sees her window open while Lincoln is holding on by the sill and closes it on his fingers. Lincoln falls and screams and lands on a cactus.
Lincoln: yowch!
He groans. "Where the heck did this cactus come from?' He sees another note attached to it. "If you landed here, it means you are snooping in my room. Enjoy the pricklies. Signed, Lola." He sighs in defeat.
Mr. Grouse: (noticing the tiara on Lincoln's head.) Nice tiara, Loud! What are you doing? Training for a beauty pageant?
Lincoln: no! (He gets an idea.) Actually, yes!
He then runs off.
Mr. Grouse: oh. Well, good luck with that!
(Miss Liza's Pageant training center)
Lincoln is talking with some of Lola's pageant rivals.
Lincoln: no one has dirt on Lola loud?
Lola's competitors scream in fear upon hearing Lola's name and run away.
Lincoln: sheesh! What did she do girls?
?: psst! Over here!
Lincoln turns around and saw a pair of eyes sticking out of a closet door. With no one looking. Lincoln approaches the closet, and a pair of hands drag him in. The room is pitch black and only the eyes are visible.
?: hey. I'm going to help you. Not because I like you, because I'm tired of always coming in second place to Lola!
Lincoln: wait. Is this Lindsay Sweetwater?
Lindsay: Do you want the dirt or not?
Lincoln: sorry. Proceed.
Lindsey whispers a secret to Lincoln, causing him to gasp loudly.
Lincoln: holy…
(Back at the loud house)
Luan: ...Shamoley!
Lincoln has just told all his sisters Lola's secret, leaving them completely flabbergasted.
Lynn Jr: (off-screen) man, that is juicy!
Lincoln and the sisters look over to Lynn Jr, who is actually talking about the hamburger she's eating.
Lynn Jr: and you got some really good dirt on Lola, too.
The siblings all lower their eyebrows in annoyance, except for Luan, who snaps her fingers at her for telling such a good joke. Bloody Bunny on the other hand gave Lynn Jr an 'really?' Look.
Lincoln: yep, and now, it's time to take her down.
The sisters began cheering.
(Lana and Lola's room)
Lola: (after hearing the secret about her.) Holy shamoley!
All her sisters and brother are surrounding her angrily.
Lola: (grabs Lincoln by his shirt) who told you about that?!
Lola looks at her brother and sisters, demanding an answer. They all shrug their shoulders, pretending not to know.
Lincoln: if you tell Mom and Dad 'our' secrets we'll tell them yours! Now if you'll excuse us, those of us who can trust each other are going to hang out.
Bloody Bunny: yeah, what he said. If you try to take us down, we're going down with you. Laters
The siblings leave while Lola looks on with disappointment, realizing they got the upper hand.
(Lori and Leni's room)
The siblings are now back to telling in secret.
Lisa: so then, kaboom! Mom and Dad's bedspread was burnt to a crisp!
Luan: (barging into the room with a bowl of popcorn.) Guys! I just saw Lola marching into Mom and Dad's room! and I think she's ratting us out!
The Loud kids begin to chatter nervously
Lincoln: she wouldn't dare!
Lori: It's like Bloody Bunny said. if she's taking us down, we're taking her down with us!
The Loud siblings all rush downstairs and approach their parents' bedroom. Lola walks out with a depressed expression.
Rita: Thank you for telling the truth, sweetie. But you know I have to punish you, you're grounded for a month.
Rita pats Lola on the head and closes her door. Lola glumly walks away while the others look on dumbfounded.
Lincoln: You're grounded? Wait, what's going on?
Lola: (sighs) you guys are off the hook. I took the blame for all this stuff you did.
The loud kids gasp in shock.
Bloody Bunny: What?! Lola, please tell me you're joking?
Lola: (shook her head) No. I am not
Lincoln: But why would you do that?!
Lola: (sighs) cause all I really wanted was to be included in your group.
Lincoln: Then why'd threaten to tell on us and make us do all that stuff?
Lola: it was the only way I could get you to hang out with me! But then I realized I went about it the wrong way. Instead of using your secrets against you, I should have tried to earn your trust.
She heads upstairs "so from now on, that's what I'm going to work on."
Lola: (voice breaking) If anyone needs me I'll be upstairs in my room for the next thirty. Care packages welcome.
Lola sadly parts off, as her brother and sisters look on with sadness.
Bloody Bunny: (whisper) I'm starting to feel sorry for her.
(Lana and Lola's room)
Lola is playing a dirge on a harmonica and is now wearing a denim prison uniform and a pink bandana with her hair now more curled.
Lincoln knocks on her door and comes in. "Hey, Lola, you know, we talked it over, and decided... you're in! you have earned our trust
Lola gasps happily, rips off her uniform, reveals her normal outfit and starts dancing with joy. "Oh, yes yes yes yes"
The club comes in to talk about their secrets with their new member.
Lynn Jr: aw, so you guys won't believe how bad I mess up the other day!
Her brother and sisters' curiosity is piqued. Except for Bloody Bunny who's listening carefully.
Lynn Jr: I was in the living room, practicing my pile driver with Mom's ironing board, when all of a sudden…
As Lynn Jr talks about her secret, Lola was happy to hear every detail. Soon, the meeting is over and the loud kids are all wrapping up as they head back to their rooms while Lana goes into the bathroom.
Lola: aw, you guys! That was so fun! Thanks! (Waving goodbye) Everybody get home safe!
Bloody Bunny: hey, Lola
Lola turns to Bloody Bunny.
Bloody Bunny: thank you for keeping our secret safe. However, I'm going to keep my eye on you just in case.
Lola: I understand.
Bloody Bunny goes into her room, closes the door.
Lola: (closes the door, and talks to someone.) So, you'll never believe what Lynn did!
It's revealed that she's whispering Lynn Jr's secret to her stuffed animals. She then looks at the audience.
Lola: well, what did you expect? I'm Lola Loud! It's not like they'll tell anyone!
She turns back to her stuffed animals. "So, anyway…" she continues to tell them Lynn Jr's secret.
