Miss Honey gritted her teeth. That girl was wiggling around again. She was a genius, and yet, how did she not grasp the simple concept that if she had to go, she could just go. Children, Miss Honey thought, no matter how easy they'd still wait till the last minute. She gave Matilda another scalding stare, she seemed to be getting a lot of practice with that today, but the girl shook her head. Was she telling her no? She shook the thought from her head the moment it appeared. Matilda wasn't the type, although she had been growing more defiant lately. Jenny had chalked it up to her being under the weather. Even Jennifer the People Pleaser had gotten a little snappy when she had been in the hospital.
"Is something wrong?" Miss Honey whispered, squatting down in front of the wagon. "You better not still be trying to hold it." She threw in, before slightly wincing at herself. She'd never talk to a student like that. Miss Honey watched as Matilda's face turned a shade of pink.
"Already did that." Matilda mumbled. Miss Honey wasn't sure whether to believe her or not, but she'd have to take her at her word. She wasn't about to check her in front of the whole class and risk the room's blackboard splitting in half. "It itches!" Matilda whispered. Miss Honey could smack herself. She hadn't been putting anything on her skin for fear of making it even more awkward, but judging by the pained look on her daughter's face, awkward would have been the preferred choice.
"Do you think you can wait until we get home, or would you want to see if Mrs. Rodgers can help you with that?" Miss Honey frowned for a moment, before adding. "Actually, I better send you to Mrs. Rodgers. I don't have anything at home to help with that." She saw Matilda's face fall. "I don't think just rinsing it will help."
"I'll wait." Matilda said. Miss Honey frowned, she could tell she looked miserable. She tried to rack her brain. She at least had baby powder at home, didn't she? Miss Honey wished she hadn't sent everything back with Eve, but she wasn't about to call her and ask her for help. Maybe she could ask Mrs. Rodgers if she could lend her something from the school's supply, although now that she thought of it, she was starting to doubt she'd have anything either.
"Are you sure?" Miss Honey asked. Matilda nodded. "Alright, but let me know if you change your mind. I know it's hard, but try and sit still, or you'll only make it worse."
"Miss Honey?" Lavender asked loudly, making the woman look up. "Why is Matilda wearing a diaper?"
Miss Honey stood there frozen for a moment, horrified, and slowly looked down at Matilda, who sat as still as a statue and paler than Miss Honey had ever seen her.
"She's not wearing a diaper, Lavender." Miss Honey said, trying to play it off and hoping against hope the small girl would drop it.
"Yes she is, I can hear it." Lavender blurted out. Miss Honey pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, before reaching in her pocket for the bouncy ball before the building started to shake.
"Class, if I throw this as hard as I can against the wall, how long do you think it will bounce for?"
….
"Matilda, really, it's going to be okay." Miss Honey said for what felt like the 20th time on their way home. She looked behind her and had to suppress a smile. Matilda sat, with her arms folded across her chest, glaring out at the street.
"She was my friend!" Matilda said angrily.
"She still can be, don't take it too personally." Miss Honey said. "You have to remember, she's only five."
"So? I'm five, and I wouldn't just blurt out something like that!"
"Matilda, dear, you're the exception, not the rule." Miss Honey said, giving her a sympathetic smile. "MOST children your age are still far from understanding social norms and what is and isn't appropriate to say out loud. I pulled her aside and very lightly, without going into detail, explained your situation. I also pointed out it wasn't nice of her to tell the whole class and that she'd upset you. I think she feels very badly about hurting your feelings."
"Why did it have to be that of all things? Why couldn't it be about the cuts or something!" Matilda complained. "Or my hair? Or why I bite my nails? Or literally anything else!"
"I know you're upset, but let's try to calm down before you knock out everyone's cable." Miss Honey said eyeing the transformers wearily. "How about when we get home, you can have a nice long soak in the tub, and then we'll have some hot chocolate and snuggle together with a good book."
"Okay." Matilda said, before letting out a long sigh.
"You remember who Bruce Bogtrotter is, don't you?"
"Yeah, I think the entire school knows him after the chocolate cake fiasco."
"Well, several years ago, back when he was in my class, he raised his hand during a lesson. When I called on him, he informed me, along with the rest of the children, that his mommy's breasts were much bigger than mine, then immediately went back to working on his school work like nothing had happened." Miss Honey turned around and saw Matilda, with lips sealed tight, trying desperately to suppress a laugh. "You see? Children your age tend to blurt out the first thing that pops into their head, and I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings. I understand you're embarrassed and hurt, and that's perfectly normal, but try not to hold a grudge against Lavender. She made a mistake, it happens. Besides that, I hate to see you so upset, and I'm afraid we've given the children an unrealistic expectation of how long rubber balls bounce."
…..
"Oww! Mom, don't touch it!" Matilda yelped. She was lying on her back on the bed, fresh out of the bath tub.
"Ohh, yep, that's a rash." Jennifer said, wincing at the angry red patches on Matilda's skin. "Shoot, I can't believe I don't have anything for that. There's nothing in the medicine cabinet or under the sink."
"Did you check the hospital bag they discharged me with? The one with the socks and paperwork? I think they said something about having supplies."
"Yes, but it was just the wipes. Oh, I really don't want to have to drag you back out to the store."
"Just leave me here." Matilda mumbled as she wrapped herself back up with the towel and closed her eyes. She let out a yawn and said, "Zinnia left me alone all the time." Miss Honey was about to ask if Zinnia was her old babysitter, but stopped as it clicked into place. Zinnia was her mother. She had never heard Matilda call her by her name before. Had Jennifer already taken that place in Matilda's life? She fought to suppress a smile.
"I can't just leave you alone in the state you're in, dear. That's cruel, and not to mention, illegal. You're much too young to be left on your own." Matilda frowned.
"But I like being on my own, at least sometimes, and I can fend for myself. I can even cook. It's not like I'd get into trouble, I'd just read or something."
"I know you wouldn't get into trouble, I trust you, but that's not the issue. You can't leave young children home by themselves. If someone noticed you were alone, they'd call the police. I would have called the police if I had known you were being left alone."
"I'm safer alone than i've ever been at school." Miss Honey bit her lip. It pained her to admit she was right about that. It was far more than a little unsettling. "That was then though." Matilda added. "I liked being apart from my parents, but I like being with you more." Miss Honey smiled, but still felt a pang of sadness. She couldn't give Matilda her own space in this studio apartment. She couldn't have her own room, and heck, she couldn't even give Matilda her own bed.
Miss Honey sighed before heading to the phone. She'd have to swallow her pride and call Eve.
….
"Hortensia's coming over to drop off a few things." Miss Honey announced once she'd hung up the phone. It had been a civil conversation, although short. Jennifer hadn't exactly been on her best behavior the last time they had spoken. She bent down and rummaged in Matilda's half of the dresser and pulled her out a shirt and some sweatpants. "Your skin needs to breathe" she explained when Matilda questioned the lack of undergarments.
When the doorbell rang 15 minutes later, Miss Honey opened the door, but instead of one pair of eyes greeting her, there were two. Hortensia stood holding a bag of supplies next to a very surprised and puzzled looking Lavender.
"When I told her I was on my way to Matilda's she begged to tag along." Hortensia shrugged. "She said she needed to talk to her, said it was important." Miss Honey quickly recovered from the surprise and smiled.
"You might as well come in then. I was about to make hot chocolate." Miss Honey stepped out of the way, so they could come in. "Matilda, you have visitors."
A very tired and disoriented looking Matilda popped her head out from under the covers. "What is it, mom?" She mumbled, and then froze when she saw Lavender standing at the foot of the bed. Lavender seemed in shock as she looked from her teacher to Matilda, and then back again.
"This is where you live?" Lavender asked after an awkward moment of silence. Matilda slowly nodded her head. Lavender looked again at their teacher. "But what's Miss Honey doing here?" Jennifer sighed. There was no getting out of this.
"I live here too, Lavender."
"Woah, you live in the same apartment building as Miss Honey? That's so cool!" Lavender said. Miss Honey pinched the bridge of her nose. Now why couldn't she be this oblivious earlier today? Matilda looked at Miss Honey, seemingly lost for words.
"It's alright, might as well tell her." Miss Honey said.
"We live together." Matilda said. "She's my mom."
Poor Lavender, Miss Honey thought staring at the small girl, who seemed unable to utter a sound. I think we've broken her.
"But," Lavender said, now looking at Miss Honey, "at the start of the year, you said you didn't have any children of your own." before turning back to Matilda, "and you said you lived with your mom, dad, and older brother."
"At the time… I did." Matilda said with a shrug. "Now I live… with Jenny."
"You said her first name." Lavender said with wide eyes before looking confused again. "I didn't know you could switch parents."
"Well, not really, Lavender. It's complicated." Miss Honey said.
"Complicated how?"
"Hmm, well, Matilda's parents, the Wormwoods, they're very different from Matilda, with very different goals and values in life. They were so different from each other, that after a, umm, talk, we all decided it was in Matilda's best interest if she lived with me instead." Miss Honey explained. "So while it was true I didn't have any children at the beginning of the school year, I decided I very much wanted Matilda to be a part of my life permanently. But Lavender," Miss Honey said looking much more serious now. "It's very important that you not tell anyone about this. No one knows. Can you do that?"
Lavender, with wide brown eyes, nodded her head eagerly, proud to be trusted with such significant information. She looked at Matilda, then at the room full of people and frowned. "Can we go in your room?"
"You're already…in it."
"Oh." Lavender said, looking down, before handing Matilda a folded piece of paper. "I made this for you. It's a card. I'm sorry!"
Miss Honey watched from the corner of the room and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Matilda smile. It was amazing how kids could forgive each other so easily.
Miss Honey made them each a mug of hot chocolate, except for herself and Matilda, who drank theirs out of bowls since they only owned a mug each, before Miss Honey sent the girls home. It was clear from the look on Matilda's face she was about to crash any minute.
"You look exhausted." Miss Honey said, dumping the contents of the bag Hortensia had brought onto the bed. "Now that I've got some proper medicine for you, it will help you with the itching, then you can take a nice nap before dinner, okay?" Matilda nodded and stifled and yawn while Jennifer threw back the covers. "Might be a bit cold." She warned. Matilda winced as Jennifer dabbed at the inflamed areas of her skin with ointment, before rubbing something cold into her upper thighs and back side. Matilda scowled when she heard the crinkling of another diaper being unfolded, but said nothing. "This is what I should have been using to begin with." Matilda opened her eyes briefly to catch a container of baby powder being shaken onto her before closing them again. She didn't want to know.
"There, all done." Miss Honey said shaking the powder from her hands. "I'll wake you up when dinner's ready." She heard Matilda mumble something. "What was that?"
"Lay down with me." Matilda said. "At least until… I fall asleep." Miss Honey smiled. She had promised after all.
"Just for a bit." Jennifer said, climbing onto the bed. She wrapped her arms around the girl, who had instinctively begun scooting closer, and held her against her chest. There would come a time when Matilda would desire more and more space. She'd need her own bed, and her own room, and the nights spent cuddling would come to an end. I'd better enjoy it while I can, Jenny thought.
